


Whatever It Takes

by SanctuaryAngel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:21:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 344,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25666606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanctuaryAngel/pseuds/SanctuaryAngel
Summary: Taking place directly after the Battle of Hogwarts Harry is trying to deal with his trauma from the course of the events of the war and struggles to confront it, along with trying to manage his grief. Snape survived, but disappeared in shame and remorse after the battle. Harry finds him, and they both discover that they have more in common now more than ever - Both are struggling with their sense of self and purpose. But stray Death Eaters from the battle are re-grouping for a final stand to take out the great Harry Potter, and their traitor, and Harry and Snape must put aside their differences to end the fight once and for all. No slash. Explores darker themes of grief, self-blame, PTSD, depression and suicidal ideation.
Comments: 58
Kudos: 17





	1. Hollow

**NOTES:** Hello readers! It’s been a very long while since I have written a story, and believe me, it’s been on my mind for a while! I’ve recently revived my love for the Potterverse again, once I read all seven books and their film counterparts. So this story was born. I would like to point out, that my story is an odd blend of both book and film. So, don’t be alarmed at some of the differences that may arise from that. Regardless, this story has quite a dark theme – I wanted to delve more into the trauma and mental health side of dealing with the aftermath of the war, as I believe it is quite an interesting and very real topic, and it is fascinating to explore how each character deals with their own issues. I’m no psychologist, but I hope this proves an interesting story for you Potter fans. I do try my best to place my mind into those of these characters, and keep them as in-character as possible.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of the world of J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter.**

* * *

** CHAPTER 1 – Hollow **

How does one move on from the loss and pain of war?

Voldemort was finally defeated three days ago, and yet it felt like the war was still going. No one can fully describe the inner torment one was feeling when the loss was simply too much to bear. For three days, Hogwarts was in a state of purgatory. Some students departed for home, completely distraught from the events that plagued them not too long ago. Some students remained with the adults and teachers in order to help with restoring Hogwarts’ former glory. The castle fortress did its duty and protected all within its walls as best as it could. Now it was time to repair the damage inflicted on the ancient school; memories of its halls buried beneath the rubble.

Sometimes the wailing from the eldest students of age, were too much to bear. Even after the battle was won, students were still being found, clinging to each other in a desperate bid to stay alive. And yet, so many were injured and lost. It was as if everyone was stuck in a daze, unaware that the greatest threat had now perished. But starting anew was no easy feat – not after the horrors that just took place.

The Ministry did its best to round up the Death Eaters that were disarmed in battle, and yet many fled for their lives. Some simply gave themselves up, ashamed at what they had done. The Dementors were finally banished back to Azkaban, and the darkest of creatures sent back from whence they came.

Clearing the dead was the most difficult task of all. So many were lost – students and teachers. Order members and family. Aurors and Ministry officials. How does one move on from this?

Harry Potter refused to leave Hogwarts until it was completely restored. For three days following the defeat of Voldemort, he wandered around the crumbled walls of the school, assisting the elders in repairing the damage. Minerva McGonagall assigned the other teachers sections of the school to help rebuild, while the remaining Order members assisted to repair the damaged wards which initially shielded the school. Minerva frequently persisted in sending Harry away to recover, but Harry constantly refused. Ronald Weasley stayed for a day assisting with the post-war efforts, but eventually left to be with his family following the death of his brother Fred. Hermione also stayed for a few days but decided to make her way home and restore the memories of her parents, who had since returned from their impromptu trip to Australia.

They all did what they could.

Harry had never felt this empty before. He just lost Remus Lupin and Tonks, leaving behind their only son Teddy. He lost Fred and Colin Creevey. Over fifty people were lost that day during the Battle of Hogwarts, and yet Harry felt responsible for each and every one of them. Each loss was a blow to his soul, and that very thought crushed him.

He refused to feel victorious. He refused to feel any kind of joy. Not yet. Right now Harry felt hollow, and for the first time in a long time – painfully alone. A pit of nausea arose in his empty stomach.

On the fourth day, Harry found himself wandering to the edge of the Black Lake and sat down beside some of the burned-out trees caused by several wayward _Incendio_ spells. Plagued by insomnia, the calming sounds of the water instilled a new strange peace within him. Harry had been so pre-occupied with the clean-up efforts within the walls of the damaged school, that he never truly found the time to sit with his own thoughts. Perhaps that was why he chose to keep busy, because he didn’t trust himself with those thoughts – too long with them could be dangerous.

Harry brushed away a tear from his dirt-stained cheek. His wand already repaired, still gripped tightly in his hand, not ready to part with it just yet. Too many thoughts running rampant in his mind. Maybe he should borrow Dumbledore’s Pensieve? Harry gave a small chuckle at the thought. The Pensieve. The place where he last viewed Snape’s memories. The memories that ultimately, won him this war.

He crinkled his brow deep in thought, trying to think back to the day of the Battle. Severus Snape died in his presence, shortly after he gave Harry his dying memories as a crucial weapon and fuel for their victory. Or so he thought. After Harry left the corpse of his Potions Professor in the boathouse, unknowing to him, Draco Malfoy had come to his aid, and procured an anti-venom, and the healing spell that saved his life a year prior. Harry had not known this at the time, but he was shocked to find Severus Snape join him in the final battle once again, barely alive, but ready to finally end this fight. But after Harry defeated Voldemort, Severus Snape fled without a word. No one had seen him or heard of his whereabouts. Not even Draco knew. Harry still had so many questions, and only his childhood nemesis could answer them.

Plagued with exhaustion, he rose up from his perch by the waters edge and began to make his way back to the school. He decided to make a small detour and wandered by Hagrid’s hut, which was still un-restored from when it was set alight by Bellatrix Lestrange the night Albus Dumbledore was killed a year ago. He stopped and stared at the charred remains of the hut, where he would visit Hagrid several times during school with Ron and Hermione. He couldn’t help but dwell back on those fond memories, but he will be sure as hell determined to ensure this home will be restored for his friend.

Turning back to the castle, Harry glanced at the infamous old Whomping Willow located at the top of the hill and made his way towards it. He felt it necessary to scout the Shrieking Shack for anyone using it as a refuge. Not that many people knew about this hidden entry way, but he didn’t want to rule out the possibility of someone finding out or witnessing someone using it. He liked the idea of it remaining a secret, but he would feel gratitude if it kept anyone safe.

He hastily entered the tunnel beneath the dangerous tree and lit his wand up to illuminate the path ahead. The air was suffocating with dust and cobwebs which hung down from the ceiling, obscuring his path. After walking a short distance, he reached a set of stairs leading up to the old abandoned house, and slowly ascended. The house itself was dark and run-down. Unlived in for decades. The floorboards felt so brittle, and he was worried that they would collapse with each step. The air was thick like fog – he wondered if the windows had ever been open to release its staleness, and yet the rooms seemed untouched by natural night. Eventually he reached the room he and his friends encountered Sirius Black in human form, and with the shocking reveal that Ron’s rat – named Scabbers – Was actually his parent’s traitor Peter Pettigrew in Animagus form. That moment was so long ago, and yet it felt much too recent. Harry lowered his head, in memory of Sirius and Remus. Both who very much family to him. Harry sniffled several times, as his eyes started to prickle with tears again. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever truly get over their deaths. It hurt too much to let go.

He heard movement in the neighbouring room, and immediately snapping out of it, he raised his want instinctively. Harry drew in a few shallow breaths, waiting for more sounds to follow. One step at a time, he edged slowly forward, attempting to make his way back out to the corridor. He listened closely, but the creaky sounds of the floorboards allowed neither person to be stealthy. Harry was slightly amused by this. But just as he turned the corner, a _Lumos_ -lit wand was thrust into his face and caught him slightly off guard. He squinted painfully through the harsh light, and took a few hasty stumbling steps back, still with his wand outstretched. It took a few moments for either to register, but as both wands lowered, he was able to finally make out their face within the shadows.

Severus Snape.

“What- “Harry frowned.

“- _Leave_ , “Snape whispered.

Harry shook his head, trying to summon the right words to use. Instead, he glared at his ex-teacher, taking in this almost shocking new dishevelled appearance. Snape’s face was paler than usual, and his face much more gaunt than he had ever seen. Dark bags under his eyes so prominent, he swore it added another twenty years to his life. His hair a mess and seemingly unwashed. His blood-stained white shirt appears to be the same one he wore when Harry attended to his wound four days ago. His usual black attire untidy, and a few of his top buttons on his vest undone, and an old horrific wound evident on his neck where Voldemort wounded him. Harry observed further blood stains and puncture wounds from where Nagini had savagely attacked him. He couldn’t even believe the man was alive and standing before him. He looked just as lost as he was. His eyes glistened and appeared slightly red. Had he, too, been crying?

“But…How?” Harry managed to speak and lowered his wand completely to his side. “How did you survive _that_? I saw you die – “He was never able to ask him about that before he fled.

Snape winced, when he saw that Harry was staring at his wounds. Uncomfortably, he shifted his vest, and clasped at the open gap in his shirt in an attempt to hide it from view. “I said leave.”

“No, I’m not leaving, “ Harry could feel old tiring anger slowly bubbling up inside him, “You fled after the battle without saying a word, and then you expect me to forget the memories you showed me?”

The man pursed his lips, but something in his gaze softened. He looked exhausted and worn out, possibly too tired to argue. Much as Harry felt wandering the damaged halls of Hogwarts in the past few days. Snape stared into Harry’s blood and dirt-streaked face for a few moments, and looked away, clearly overcome with hurt and guilt. The man gave a small sigh, “I gave you those memories – even the personal ones – as a catalyst for your…sacrifice. “Snape still refused to look at him at this point,” I didn’t expect to survive. Nor, you - As the prophecy intended.”

Harry shook his head in confusion initially, but slow realisation hit him. “But –“

“You’ve seen the memories, Potter, what more do you require of me?” Snape’s gaze finally snapped to Harry’s, and it was the first time the man had truly looked at his past student since his supposed death. Snape’s voice seemed to quiver, and Harry noticed his wand hand trembling slightly. He knew the man was avoiding further discussion of these memories so dear, and yet painful for him to even recall. “Everything that happened to you was – and is - my _fault_. “

Harry gritted his teeth, trying to choose his words carefully. This was the same man who essentially bullied him since his first year at Hogwarts, but it was also the same man who saved his life each year despite the circumstances. Despite his seething hatred for the child of his tormentor. For years Harry believed this man to be his enemy, but over the years he had come to learn more about Snape’s upbringing and childhood, and if fate would have it, seemingly matched his own through the years he endured with the Dursley’s. But despite how much Harry’s father had relentlessly bullied Snape during Hogwarts, Snape cared deeply for his mother – something Harry would have never foreseen. With that fact, it was clear as to the origin of Snape’s bitterness towards him. It was an unpleasant thought, but it was a start.

Harry shook his head, “No one could have known, not even you. Not even Dumbledore. I _know_ you were the one who overheard the Prophecy – But, you still wouldn’t have known that my parents were the target. “

“I was a fool, Potter. Then and now. I’ve been a puppet in this charade since I was your age, “Snape hissed, “I meddled in the Darkest Arts, and it resulted in my ultimate downfall. I lost everything.”

“You fought - You _kept_ fighting. All this time, _you_ kept fighting, despite the odds, “Harry responded, slight desperation in his voice.

“I don’t want pity, Potter. Not even from you,” Snape shook his head, and limped his way over to the closed window. He raised his wand, and grimaced in pain and cursed under his breath, unable to complete the spell. Snape clutched his side as the Gryffindor walked over and pushed open the window, allowing the coolest breeze to waft through the old house. Sunlight finally poured through, instantly providing warmth. There was a serene silence between them for a moment. Possibly the longest time they’ve shared without them arguing with each other.

With a shuddered breath, Snape broke the silence as he continued to gaze out of the window, “Your mother would be proud of you.” His voice was soft and calm.

“She’d be proud of both of us, “Harry said, staring at the little blue birds fluttering by the window.

Snape gave a _hmpf_ of disapproval, and turned to walk away, back into the cold shadows of the room. Harry turned to face his ex-teacher and watched as the man sat himself down on one of the old armchairs in the corner of the room by the old dust-ridden piano. He looked wary and defeated. For a man who helped with this war, he looked worse off than he did. Miserable, even. It was if suddenly, everything that had happened in the course of the man’s life, crashed down suddenly on his shoulders. Harry noticed his breathing turned shallow, and irregular.

“Sir, how did you come back? You died right in front of me, “Harry finally asked, quietly, “Ron and Hermione were there. Then suddenly, you came back to help me end Voldemort. How?“

Severus Snape closed his eyes for a few moments, thinking back to his close brush with death. Gingerly, he opened his eyes again, “Draco had followed you to the Boathouse, fully intending to stop you from killing Nagini. On the Dark Lords’ orders. Once you left, Draco found me and performed the healing spell I used on him after your…parlour tricks…using _Sectumsempra_ last year, “Snape gave Harry a quick flicker of a glare, “He insisted I teach him that spell shortly after that incident. Albeit, not completely. My wounds are not fully healed – he did his best. Once I came to, he retrieved the anti-venom I had placed in my robe pockets, as a failsafe, since lately I had spent far too much time near that _bloody_ snake…” Snape clenched his jaw, “I just never foresaw that _he_ would make that mistake when he accused me of becoming the new master of the Elder Wand. Speaking of which - whatever became of it?”

Harry shrugged, “I broke it in half, and threw it over the bridge. No one else needs to kill each other over it now. Never again.”

Snape looked at Harry, with a shocked expression. For a moment Harry thought he’d yell at him, but instead, Snape smirked, “Quite appropriate of you, Potter.”

“Is that a compliment?” Harry said, amused.

Snape’s smirked disappeared, “As close as you’re ever going to get.”

Now it was Harry’s turn to smirk. “Look, Professor- “

“EX-professor now. ‘Sir’, will do – “

“- Right, _sir_. Listen, I want to thank you for….for - Everything. For saving my life more times than I could keep track of and staying loyal to Dumbledore even when you convinced everyone that you were, well, _bad_.”

Snape’s eyes seemed to gloss over, and for once, he seemed at a slight loss for words. He glanced at Harry who finally made his way over to sit on the stool of the piano, adjacent to him. “Very touching, Potter. But I do not require your gratitude.” His voice was soft, and calm. “We are all capable of being ‘bad’. There are no Saints or Devils. We are all somewhat, both - Disregarding the Dark Lord who was rotten to the core - But Potter, I have done nothing but terrible things, even before you were born. The Dark Arts pushed me away from Lily, and that was one of my… _deepest_ …regrets. I lost someone who would have influenced me away from being ‘bad’, as you so eloquently noted.”

“People can change. Dumbledore saw that, and that’s why he gave you a second chance -, “Harry responded.

“-Yes, after I practically _begged_ him to save your mother… _all_ of you. - And then I killed him, “Snape looked away, not daring to look at Harry.

“You had no other choice. I saw that memory, sir. He asked you to do it. If I had just _known_ – “

“You could never have known. If you did, you would have tried to intervene, and I would have lost both of you, and myself, “Snape looked back at Harry, a look of bewilderment on his face. “These chain of events were necessary, don’t you see?” He whispered. “We had to keep you alive, as you eventually came to realise.”

“So that I could die at the proper moment?” Harry repeated the same words Snape used with Dumbledore in the memory he viewed in the Pensieve on the night of Snape’s death. Snape winced, and remained silent. Defeated. Harry felt a bit idiotic and hung his head apologetically.

“All this time I did everything I could to keep you _alive_ , Potter. That was as much of a shock to me as it was for Dumbledore.”

Harry glanced again outside the window, and noticed the sun starting to dip low on the horizon. Harry drew in a shuddered breath.

“Time for you to leave, Potter. “

Snape remained seated, as Harry rose. “You’re not coming? We could really use your help out there.”

Snape gave a strange, unnatural laugh, “Do you really think they would be receptive of me, after all that I’ve done? Why do you think I’ve kept myself _ironically_ locked up in this dreadful place?”

Harry shook his head, “But they all realise now that you’ve been on our side this entire time. If you just – “

“What, Potter? Stroll up to the front gates of Hogwarts with open arms? I’ve lied. I’ve killed. I’ve tortured. I am no better than the Dark Lord himself! I am no longer welcome. Many would want me dead, still. I don’t blame them, really. I would, too.”

“You are _not_ Voldemort. You deserve to be there with the others - I’ll make them understand.”

Snape lowered his voice, barely a shaky whisper, “The only thing I deserve is death, Potter. There is nothing else left for me now. “

Harry shook his head, refusing to believe the words that was coming out of the man’s mouth. “I don’t believe that. Don’t make me drag down Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall.”

“Don’t you _bloody_ dare, Potter.”

“Then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Harry made his way to the door. He heard a shuffle and turned to see Snape standing up from his chair.

“Tell no one I’m here. _Absolutely_ no-one.”

Harry looked at his ex-professor and nodded in agreement. Without another word, Harry made his way to the exit stairs, and along the familiar path back through the Whomping Willow and straight to the crumbling walls of Hogwarts.

His little encounter with Severus Snape was unexpected, but somewhat a relief. He still had so many more burning questions, but he grew worried at the man’s last words. For two people who actively put an end to the Second Wizarding War, they were both feeling as miserable as each other. Neither Harry or Snape felt any kind of reprieve or resolution. Just…emptiness and mourning. How does one move on from this?

For someone who spent years despising Harry’s existence, it was possible that Severus Snape understood the Gryffindor more than most people. He felt an odd kind of joy at this revelation. Perhaps finally, they could see eye to eye. But convincing him to return to Hogwarts was a task Harry never expected he’d ever undertake.


	2. Holding on

CHAPTER 2 – Holding On

Harry found himself sitting at the edge of the Black Lake more often between the rebuild of Hogwarts the following day. By this point, most of the Great Hall and main courtyard were revived, and the teachers were off attempting to repair the corridors and entry points of the castle where much of the battle took place. There was still so much to do, and Harry barely had any time to recollect his thoughts, especially during the unexpected encounter with his former Potions teacher the evening before. He was a mess of emotions at this point – He had so many conflicting feelings, and yet he felt numb to the core. Almost like he knows he should be feeling something, but everything in his mind and heart feels so empty. Was that grief? Guilt? He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, but he does. So many people lost their lives to protect him and keep him safe, through this entire ordeal and that bothered him endlessly. Teachers, Order, students… _died_ for him. _Him_.

Clenching his jaw, he picked up a stone the size of his palm and flung it angrily into the lake. This fact cut into his soul like a knife. So much unnecessary death and violence. All because of one stupid prophecy. A prophecy overheard by someone he was supposed to put faith in, according to Dumbledore. A prophecy that resulted in the death of his parents. A prophecy which set everything in motion, because someone decided to eavesdrop -

Frustrated, Harry picked up another stone – larger this time – Stood up, and threw it more aggressively into the lake. He cursed out loud. Why are his thoughts reminding him of this? He knew he was meant to feel _something_ , but he didn’t expect it to be rage. His heart began beating faster, and he struggled to calm his breath.

It was _his_ fault. Why was he completely dismissing that? It was Snape’s fault he became orphaned. It was Snape’s fault he grew up without a loving family. Everything was his damn fault. So why did Harry suddenly forget all of that? Snape was his enemy from the moment he stepped into Hogwarts, when he had no right to be. He didn’t have to treat Harry so poorly, and yet his did without question. That cannot be justified.

He was utterly torn between hating him, and wanting to understanding and empathise with him.

Getting more irritated by the minute, Harry decided to make his way back to Hogwarts to finally get himself cleaned up. Harry had been so consumed in the clean-up efforts – and with his own thoughts – that self-care was the last thing on his list of priorities. After he showered and put on a fresh set of clothes, he felt a little more human. He spent almost an hour in the shower, mainly just standing there staring off into space. A few times he cried – he didn’t care. No one was there to see him, and to his relief, not even Moaning Myrtle. The tears never really seemed to be enough to express what he was truly feeling.

Once he was done, he decided to make his way to the Headmaster’s office. He hadn’t been there since he looked into the Pensieve to view Snape’s memories, but once he arrived, he realised the place had looked exactly as he last remembered it, when Dumbledore was Headmaster. Nothing seemed out of place, strangely not even when Snape was Headmaster. Everything remained the same, well, except for the empty seat where Dumbledore should have been. Even Fawkes’ perch remained empty.

Harry made his way to the seat adjacent to the ornate gold Headmaster’s chair and sat there for a few minutes. He wasn’t really sure what compelled him to come here, but perhaps it was the familiar comforts this room gave him when Dumbledore was alive.

“Ah, Harry – my boy. I’m so pleased to finally see you again. “

Harry’s heart dropped immediately to his stomach and spun his head around to find the portrait of Albus Dumbledore smiling back at him. Returning the warm gesture, Harry rose up from his chair and joined the vicinity of the portrait on the wall behind him. He was completely caught off guard, and then mentally kicked himself. How could he have forgotten?

“Sir – “Harry’s eyes were wide with strange curiosity, and yet he remained speechless.

“You exceeded all of my expectations, Harry. I am immensely proud of you, “Dumbledore leaned forward with his hands clasp together from his perch on his portrait chair, identical to the golden one within the office. His eyes as cheerful as the familiar smile upon his aged face.

Harry lowered his head, undeserving of the compliment. He felt a little ashamed. “Uh, thanks, sir.”

Dumbledore’s smile faded a little, as he noticed wounded Harry’s demeanour. “You did remarkable things, Harry. After this traumatic period of time, it is not uncommon to feel guilt and despair. Lives were lost, but you saved many more. “

“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to feel. I feel – “Harry looked back at the old Headmaster.

“ – lost?”

“- _Broken_ , actually.” Harry felt rather uncomfortable in admitting that. There was a short silence between them. A serene and peaceful silence.

“I see. You are wondering how you can move on from this?” Dumbledore’s voice was soft and soothing.

Harry nodded slowly.

A smile spread gently back on Albus Dumbledore’s features, “You are forgetting that you are human, Harry. War is eternal – we can never truly forget that, and the painful memories it brings. It will break us, but it can also reshape us. For better or worse. But you remain as you have been since the day I met you, when you first began at Hogwarts. You have always been a guiding light for others in dark times, Harry. Despite the odds, you always had a knack for helping others. Everything you did leading up to this moment, was to save lives. You wonder what you must do now? Keep saving lives. Help rebuild them. Forge a better future in its example. Not just for yourself, but for those close to you. Even mend relationships. Fix what was broken. Just because the war is over, does not mean your life is. “

Harry frowned, trying to take in every single word said by his old mentor. He made sense – finally. But it was easier said than done. “I’ll try, sir. It’s difficult, but…I’ll try.”

“Be a light for others, and in turn, they will be a light for you.”

Harry smiled, a little too sadly than he intended. “Thanks. For everything.” Harry turned to leave, not wanting to stay any longer. He was relieved at the fact that Albus Dumbledore was here – in some form – as a way to ask for guidance when he next needed it. He was sure to return again, but for now, the old Headmaster was right. The battle is over, but he is alive. As defeated as he still feels, he needs to keep going. The ominous cloud that he senses over his head is bound to disappear eventually.

_Be a light for others, and in turn, they will be a light for you._

Wandering back through the debris-ridden corridors, he passed several students still in their tattered school robes so full of dirt and blood, that he could barely make out what house they belonged to. Some students stayed to help clean up. Some students returned to take over in shifts once they parted with their families once more. Harry admired their courage to return. After all they’ve suffered through and witnessed, they were still compelled to return and help restore this ancient school. That little fact gave Harry hope. There was still so much good to be done.

He continued down the stairs, only to bump into Minerva McGonagall and Dean Thomas repairing some of the broken stonework in the shifting staircases. They both looked exhausted and worn down.

“Harry, mate, “Dean finished with a _Repairo_ spell on a hole in the wall, and lowered his wand to acknowledge Harry and turned to face him, “You alright?”

Harry nodded, “Hey Dean. Yeah, I’m fine. How are the others?”

“The DA? They are dealing. Seamus went home yesterday to see his family, but he should be back again in a few days. I haven’t seen Cho since the battle ended - She looked distraught, so I imagine she went home. Luna has been helping Professor Flitwick on the grounds, and I last saw Neville and Hannah Abbott helping Madam Pomfrey with the wounded. Everyone has been coming and going, so hard to keep track of everyone, “Dean explained. “But they are determined to help.”

Harry smiled, “That’s really amazing to hear. Thank you, Dean. You and everyone else have been doing a great job. Take care, okay?”

Dean nodded, “Same to you, Harry.” He resumed with his task as soon as he raised his wand.

“Potter. Harry, dear – May I speak with you?” Minerva McGonagall noticed Harry talking with Dean, but once they finished, she walked over to Harry and whisked him away to the corridor, with a gentle hand on his shoulder. Once they were away from earshot, she turned to face him, expression full of concern. She looked exhausted. “Harry, is there anything I can do for you? You don’t need to stay, if you are not feeling up to it. Merlin’s beard, I can understand if you need time away. Molly suggested she’d look after you back at the Burrow – “

“I’m fine Professor, really. I _need_ to stay. I can’t leave everyone, “Harry responded quickly.

“Did you forget you’ve just defeated the darkest wizard of all time? We can manage here for now. Everyone has been incredibly helpful, “McGonagall was taken aback by Harry’s decline in her offer, “You need to take a break. You need rest…”

“I’m not ready to leave just yet. I-I just can’t. Not yet, “Harry was adamant.

McGonagall paused for a moment, and her eyes fixed upon Harry’s wary face, “I’m just concerned for you, Harry. You’ve just endured _quite_ an ordeal.”

“Yeah, so has everyone else.”

McGonagall’s face fell, and her expression was softened, almost sad. She gave Harry the weakest smile she could muster, “You are too modest for own good. Well, if you need someone to talk to, I am still here as both your Head of House and Headmaster.”

Harry gave a small laugh, “Surely Hogwarts won’t be ready and running for a new school year.”

Minerva McGonagall returned the laugh, “If so, you still have another year to complete.”

“Honestly, Professor. I could do with a proper year off, “Harry gave an exhausted grin, “Preferably not on the run again.”

Minerva reached out and rested her hand on Harry’s shoulder, and squeezed lightly. “Well, you would make a wonderful Professor if you did choose to return again in the near future. I will need a new Head of Gryffindor House, and a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. _Surely_ , that curse is lifted by now.” She laughed, but it quickly faded as she was sunken deep in thought.

Harry took this opportunity to ask, “…What are your thoughts on Snape?”

McGonagall’s face turned grim, “Honestly, Potter. I do not know what to think. No matter how I see it, he still betrayed us when he killed poor Albus. I realise that both of them had planned for this, but I feel quite…hurt - that neither of them confided in _me_ about it, let alone the Order. I feel terrible that I did not foresee this. I have known them both for many years, and yet I felt left in the dark by the pair of them. I am simply heartbroken. “McGonagall gave a wishful sigh, “I could have assisted if only I knew the truth.”

Harry nodded. She had a point, “I’m sorry, Professor. I guess that was the point of the deception. He had to abandon any allies he had left, in order to continue his role with Voldemort. We were both fooled. Everyone was. I’m sure he is still out there…Would you ever approach him if given the chance?”

McGonagall paused for a few moments. “I wish I could answer that bluntly. I’d like to think I’d stop to listen to reason, but there is a part of me who still adopts a level of distrust with him. On a moments notice, I don’t know how I’d react. We were colleagues…friends, even. That kind of betrayal is difficult to forget when you’ve known someone for so long. I taught Severus here at Hogwarts, you know. I knew him ever since his first year. If Severus didn’t have an altercation with Lily all those years ago, his destiny would have been far different to the Dark path decided to take. She helped bring about the best in him.”

“I guess I would have ended down a similar path, if the Sorting Hat put me in Slytherin, “Harry mentioned, rather bitterly, “I would have been separated with Hermione and Ron, and Draco would have been a terrible influence on me. Especially at the time, I didn’t know that Voldemort’s soul was living inside of me.”

The Headmistress’ eyes widened in horror at the thought, “Good grief, that _would_ have been disastrous! Well, Harry Potter, I am proud you ended up in Gryffindor - “There was a small crash behind them, and both Harry and McGonagall looked back to find Dean sprawled on the floor due to a jumbled spell. “Oh dear, Mr Thomas! I must be off – Harry, please seek me out if you need me. For anything.”

“Thank you, Professor. I appreciate that, “Harry said, just before the elderly woman dashed to Dean, who seemed to unharmed, but highly amused at his spell blunder.

Harry was glad he encountered Dean and McGonagall. Friendly faces and pleasant company was what he truly needed right now. Even though he wished everyone would stop coddling him like a child. It was beginning to get on his nerves, and although he knew their intentions were genuine, he didn’t want to feel like he was abandoning the school just to wallow in his feelings and emotions somewhere else. Though at times like these, he really missed Ron and Hermione and their company. He missed Hermione’s voice of reason, and Ron’s sense of humour. He also missed being in Ginny’s embrace, and his heart ached for that soft love again. He realised he hadn’t seen her, since she left to grieve with her family over the death of Fred, the day the battle at Hogwarts ended. He considered sending them all letters, but some part of him felt like it would be inappropriate in a time like this.

Realising he hadn’t eaten since breakfast the day before, Harry decided to wander down to the kitchens to find something to satisfy his hunger pains. Occasionally, he would stop during his journey down, to repair something, or move something back in its rightful place. He passed Filch the Caretaker at one point, shovelling debris, with Mrs Norris, his cat companion, by his side. He looked at Harry, and for the first time ever, the man didn’t sneer or give a rude retort as he usually did with his students. Instead he nodded in acknowledgement, and continued on his task, without a word.

On the way to the kitchens, he passed the entry to the Slytherin Common Room, but sitting beside the entry way was a hunched figure sitting on the floor against the wall, head buried in his hands with his wand clasped in right hand. Harry stopped in his tracks, and the startled figure looked up. The unmistaken platinum blonde hair, streaked with blood and dirt, was none other than his other childhood nemesis.

Draco Malfoy.


	3. Injured Hearts

CHAPTER 3 – Injured Hearts

“You!” Draco Malfoy stood up, clearly not expecting any stray visitors down in the dungeons. His newly dishevelled look took Harry by surprise. The Slytherin looked wary, and shakily gripped his wand by his side. His face bruised with scrapes all down the side of his face. His hair slightly messy, but clean. Unlike Harry, at least he was careful to manage his appearance.

“Malfoy! What are you doing here?” Harry approached him cautiously.

“None of your business, Potter, “Draco frowned. He adjusted his shirt, in a feeble attempt to make himself look more presentable and divert Harry’s gaze from his unkempt appearance.

“I-I thought you left with your family after the fight?”

Draco paused, wand still shakily clutched to his side. His frown crinkled, “I did. But I, uh…Decided to come back and help out. My father didn’t want me to, but I did anyway. No one else knows I’m here. Except nosey Potter here, obviously.”

Harry shook his head in confusion.

“You seemed rather _shocked_.”

“Yeah, I am, actually. I didn’t expect to see you here at all. Why come back?“

Draco folded arms and decided to lean against the cold stone wall. Occasionally he shot a glance at Harry, but mostly stood there gazing at the painted portraits on the wall across from him. He sighed deeply, “Don’t know, to be honest. I know I messed up. Maybe coming here will help me come to terms with what happened, because of me. But being here makes me feel _ten_ times worse, though.”

Harry listened to every word, and felt a little pang of sympathy for him, “Yeah, well, you _did_ mess up. But you didn’t exactly have the greatest moral influence in your family, so I can’t completely blame you for that.”

“What would you know about that, _perfect_ Potter?!” Draco’s gaze snapped to Harry; his mouth twisted in an arrogant snarl Harry was all too familiar with. “I was supposed to make The Dark Lord proud. I was supposed to bring glory to my family’s name!”

“Yeah, and he threatened you with death if you didn’t do he wanted you to do. Because that turned out _so_ well for you, “Harry retorted, cleaning not overthrown but the expression of fury etching on the Slytherin’s face.

“How DARE you, Potter!” Draco moved from the wall, and in one swift motion, withdrew his wand and pointed it directly at Harry. Harry, followed suite and did the same. “You don’t get it, do you? I didn’t have a choice!”

“Yeah well, neither did I, when I had to allow myself to be murdered to bring Voldemort down!” Harry looked at his opponent’s wand, “Do you _really_ want to do this again?”

“ _Don’t_ say his name…Please – “Draco bit back his next response, still reeling and shaken over his near-death encounter last year when Harry sliced him open with a deadly spell. His wand arm shaking, clearly in slight distress. Slowly, Harry started to lower his wand, and seconds later, Draco did the same. Both young men locked in defiant gaze, but slowly realised that they both had endured enough fighting for a lifetime.

“I don’t _want_ to fight you, Malfoy. Not again, “Harry lowered his voice, “We’ve all lost enough, and you know it.”

Swallowing his words down, Draco nodded slowly. His face softened, and now he looked incredibly sad. “Yeah. We did.”

Harry drew in a deep breath, “Thank you for coming back…For helping me defeat him. You had a hand in that, too, despite everything.”

“I don’t want your thanks. We are not friends, Potter. Nor will we ever be.”

“No, we aren’t. But I don’t want to be enemies, either. Fighting over petty things…There are more important things to worry about. Especially now. “

Draco sighed. “Yeah. Those days are gone. Still not sorry I broke your nose last year and left you on the Hogwarts Express.” Draco smirked.

Harry snorted, “Didn’t think you would be.”

Harry noticed Draco rubbing his left forearm, from where the Dark Mark was etched into his skin. Draco noticed his gaze, and hastily stopped and clenched his jaw, “Old habit. But on the upside, at least it’s faded now. Bloody relieved, actually. Worst decision I ever made, to be honest. ”

For the first time in his nemesis’ company, Harry gave him a genuine smile, “Really glad to hear that. Draco. Really.”

Draco was taken aback by this sudden kind gesture, enough to cause him to hesitate. His face relaxed, and eventually he too, smiled, in his odd way, “Uh, thanks. I suppose.”

“By the way, out of curiosity – What was that healing spell you used on Snape? When you saved him…Was that the same one he used on you, when I, uh…”

“Viciously sliced me open?”

Harry winced, “- Yeah.”

“ _Vulnera_ _sanentur_. You kind of have to, well…sing it. Chant three times. Enforce it with a melody, as Snape said. He invented it, you know. I asked him to teach me that counter-spell.”

“Thanks – That’s handy to know. I’ll keep that in mind. “Harry nodded.

“Say, Potter?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for saving my life in the Room. From the fire. You know…” Draco looked slightly awkward in his apology, and found it difficult to hold his gaze to the infamous Chosen One, “I you didn’t want to.”

Harry nodded, “No matter how much of arse you’ve been, I couldn’t leave you to die.” Harry took a few steps back, hinting at the end of their conversation, “I have to go. See you around?”

Draco pocketed his wand and shrugged, “Maybe.” And with that, he walked off down the corridor of the dungeons, disappearing from view.

For once, Harry was relieved that their encounter didn’t end in a fight. He still had so much he wanted to say, but for now, he was content with their mutual interaction, and a part of him hoped that they will meet again. He wasn’t expecting friendship, but a mutual understanding would have been enough for him to bear with. After all, Draco redeemed himself in the end, and despite their past differences and conflict, he turned things around for himself eventually. It was Draco who threw Harry his wand in his final confrontation with Voldemort, and for that, Harry was appreciative, and it was enough to be softer within his judgement of him.

Soon after the two parted ways, Harry made his way to the kitchens as intended. There were a few House Elves present – He suspected some had perished within the battle, but some must have been assigned to help repair the school. Harry requested an assortment of food, including sandwiches, apples, several vegetable pasties, and some custard tarts. Once the elves fulfilled his request, he packed them in a bag, and made his way back out. He decided to make a short detour to the Potions lab – specifically the office. He was hoping to avoid running into anyone else at this point, as he had no desire to explain to people what he was doing prowling the dungeons and raiding the kitchens.

Eventually, he reached Professor Slughorn’s office – formerly, Snape’s – and entered to find everything had been rummaged through and destroyed. Well, most of everything. Other’s had passed through here, but he guessed it was mainly for purpose of battle that some individuals would find some of the pre-made potions useful. Retrieving an empty satchel from the desk, he sifted through the remaining untouched potions within the broken cabinets, hoping to find anything of use. He pulled a few assortments of vials, and stashed them in the satchel, while using a few cleaning charms to remove all of the broken glass and potion remnants from the cold stone floor.

Once he was satisfied enough, he made the long journey back to the Gryffindor common room hoping that he would still remain undetected from any wayward students or teachers wanting to ask him questions, or ask if he was okay, as much to his annoyance. Frankly, he was sick of people treating him like a fragile bomb waiting to go off, which irritated him more than he anticipated. He reached the Gryffindor Common room and was relieved to find Dean and Professor McGonagall had left the post in the Grand Staircases. Harry approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, and without hesitating, opened the door without asking for the password. Harry was relieved to find her oddly compliant, but in all honestly, the last thing he wanted to be dealing with was a stubborn portrait demanding a password at a time like this.

The Gryffindor common room was eerie and empty. No one was present, and belongings seemed to have been cleared out already. He walked up to his old dormitory and retrieved his rucksack that he stashed earlier a few days ago. He was thankful to find it still there, as it contained his treasured Invisibility Cloak. Retrieving the silvery cloak, he allowed it to slide over his head, making him disappear instantly. Once he was ready, he sneakily made his way back downstairs, and out of the school grounds without drawing attention to himself.

He eventually made his way to the Whomping Willow, and snuck through the tunnel, in a bid to reach the Shrieking Shack. He was a little late, and he hoped his old Professor was still there. He felt kind of strange being here, but he seemed to be the only one who gave a damn about him being alive. Everyone else didn’t seem to care all that much, and Harry felt a strange kind of duty to show him some acknowledgement. They had much to work out – After all, Snape risked his life for his, despite the bitterness they showed to each other in the past. There was still some method of dislike for one another, but as Albus said, he needed to try and make an effort in repairing relationships. If that failed, well, at least he tried. Harry’s conscious would not allow him to just forget. In the memory of his mother, he had to at least try.

Finally reaching the tunnel entrance to the shack, he made his way through, flung off his Cloak, and stuffed it back in his rucksack. Immediately, he could hear the echoing sounds of piano keys - A small melody playing. The sound emanated throughout the abandoned house. It was a pleasant sound. Beautiful, actually. The tune itself was soft and melancholy; Gentle with each key played. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was far from amateur. Harry wandered to the room with the old dusty piano, to find Severus Snape at the helm. He must have been too lost in the melody, to hear Harry approach from the other side.

“That sounds really nice, sir, “Harry was actually quite impressed. He had no idea Snape was even musically inclined, but he gathered the old piano was rather fitting for him.

Accidentally slamming on the wrong note, Snape cursed under his breath, and turned to face Harry Potter glaring at him from the other side of the room. Snape was taken slightly aback. He clasped his hands together, and raised his eyebrow, “You returned. You shouldn’t have bothered, Potter.”

Harry shrugged, “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t have?”

“Well, you loathe me for one, “Snape said coolly.

“That feeling is mutual, I’m sure.”

“Despite your father being one of the reasons for my dislike of you, I never _loathed_ you. I loathed what you _represented_. There’s a difference, “Snape pursed his lips.

“Right - “Harry said, with a slight shrug. He dropped his bag to the table beside the old tattered maroon armchair, and with Snape curiously watching, he retrieved all the food items from the kitchen. He placed Snape’s share on the piano beside him, including a large pitcher of pumpkin juice, and Snape simply eyed the Gryffindor in cautious curiosity. He seemed both amused and irritated at the boy’s unlikely presence. With Snape, the lines of expression were always thin. “– Here. I figured since you’ve chosen to barricade yourself in here, you clearly haven’t eaten anything since…Well, you know.”

Peering into the bag of freshly made sandwiches, the brooding ex-teacher cast another glance at Harry, not knowing if he should take this seriously.

“I’m not going to poison you, if that’s what you were thinking, “Harry down on the armchair and took a hefty bite from one of his pasties, only just realising how hungry he was. He could not recall the last thing he ate. It seemed the weight of the last few days, caused him to lose his appetite. However, he really needed the energy.

“How ironic. This really wasn’t necessary, but…appreciative. “Snape retrieved one of the sandwiches, and began eating in small intervals, like a bird.

“Kinda was, sir. Don’t want you starving to death in here, “Harry said. He noticed the man looked rather sickly, his sallow face more gaunt than when he saw him yesterday. The wounds, as he could see on his neck, were raw and red. Some spotting of fresh blood more evident on his old white shirt.

“Sir, are you? – “Harry asked.

The man noticed his gaze, “– _Fine_ , Potter. “

Harry immediately began to ruffle through his bag and retrieved the small satchel of potions and other supplies he retrieved from the potion’s cabinet in his old office. He handed it to Snape, “Here. I took some potions that were left and undamaged, from your old office. I figured some might come in handy for you. I also have some essence of murtlap and dittany in there. Should help with your wounds – “

Snape waited a few moments to finish his bite, and began to sift through its contents, with a few nods of approval and he carefully lifted each coloured vial and inspected their contents. He warily eyed Harry with a burning question clearly in his mind. He gave a heavy sigh, “Why are you _really_ here, Potter? Clearly you have more enlightening things to do with your time, than bear with my miserable company?”

Harry leaned back in his chair, and his eyes darted from his ex-teacher, to the distant view of Hogsmead from the sun-lit window. “Honestly, I really don’t know. I guess I felt like I _should_ be here. I’d feel bad if I didn’t. Plus being at Hogwarts at this time, is not doing my mind any favours.”

Snape slowly set down his half-eaten sandwich, and eyed Harry Potter with a softened gaze, “…Unfinished business?”

“For lack of better term, yeah, I suppose, “Harry shrugged. “I’m just not sure what I’m supposed to do now.”

Snape raised an eyebrow, “You don’t appear satisfied with your victory, Potter? After your ordeal, it is not wrong to feel conflicted and consumed by grief and wariness.”

“That’s just it – I don’t feel much of anything. How do you deal with it, sir? I mean, all those years you spent working with Voldemort - You’ve had to watch so many _die_ by his hand. How does one even cope with that?”

Snape drew in a soft breath, “Everyone has their own coping methods – Most likely, unhealthy ones. I spent many years working in the presence of the Dark Lord. I wasn’t exactly under ideal circumstances to allow myself to _feel_ anything. I couldn’t take the risk. One hesitation or waver in emotion would have resulted in my instant death. You, on the other hand Potter, were lucky you never had to endure and witness what I did. However, I daresay you would have made a terrible Death Eater.”

Harry snorted, “Yeah, I don’t think I would have lasted that long as one. “

“Nevertheless, the pain of loss is often unbearable. And sometimes, that pain never truly leave us -” Snape’s voice trailed off to almost a whisper.

Harry looked away, not expecting this subject to come up this quick. His mind wandered off to all those he lost in the last four years – Sirius, Cedric, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Colin, Hedwig, Dobby, MadEye…Harry shifted rather uncomfortably in his seat.

Snape noticed the young Gryffindor’s sudden change in mood and eyed him cautiously. Leaning slightly forward in his chair, his voice soft, “You still didn’t answer my question as to why you are here. A _sufficient_ answer is needed, Potter.”

Harry glanced back at Snape, feeling a little sheepish. “I guess I needed someone to talk to. Maybe because, oh, I dunno…You would understand better than most? I can’t exactly talk to Professor McGonagall, or Molly, or even Ron and Hermione, about this. About what I’m _feeling_.”

“I’m not your therapist, Potter. I am the last person you should confide in or talk to. “

“I know that, but maybe…” Harry thought for a moment, “Maybe, I need someone to help me snap out of it. You seem to be good at that.”

Snape furrowed his brow in confusion, not fully understanding the strange request. “ _What_? And you think I will be the one to do that? _Fine_ – Get over yourself, Potter.”

“ _No_ \- I am being serious. Not that you’ve _ever_ really taken me seriously all these years, “Harry frowned.

Snape sighed, “Well, you were always one of my least favourite students to teach.”

“Oh come on, I wasn’t that bad. “

Snape raised his eyebrow in amusement, “You were amateur at best. You never paid any mode of attention in my class, and often irresponsible.”

“You were either hurling insults, or generally being a power-tripping git. So don’t mind me for being a little annoyed by that,” Harry frowned, shifting in his seat.

“ _Excuse_ me, Potter? _What_ did you call me?” Snape’s expression suddenly twisted in a scowl.

“Don’t deny it, sir. You wouldn’t exactly win ‘teacher of the year’.”

“I taught the children of Death Eaters in my House. My hatred of you had to be evident and valid. Enough to satisfy my Slytherins. However, I had enough of my own reasons to put you in your place with your _cheek_. I had to be rather - _extreme_.”

“Then why give me a difficult time trying to teach me Occlumency? None of your Slytherins were there. You weren’t really _teaching_ me anything. If anything, those lessons left me feeling worse.”

Snape snapped back, clearly offended. “I was teaching you _discipline_ , Potter. Control. Clearly those lessons were doomed from the start, I _know_ that now. But I eventually came to realise that you were too consumed in your emotions to truly master this skill. A trait, that dare I say it – Lies with your mother.”

“Well, if you’d stopped _seeing_ me as James, maybe those lessons would have been more successful! Yes, I have emotions – I’m human. What were you expecting me to be? Emotionally rigid like yourself? I know my dad was a git for bullying you, but I am _not_ my father.”

Snape was bordering on furious now, “Are you calling me emotionless? _Watch_ your words, Potter!”

“Or what? You’ll have me scrubbing cauldrons again?”

Snape stood up suddenly from his chair, seething in anger. His face white as a sheet, as he clasped the top of the piano to steady himself. “How _dare_ you - You have clearly worn out your welcome. You need to leave – “

Harry noticed he looked a little more sickly. He watched as his ex-teacher swayed on the spot, beads of sweat now evident of his face. The young Gryffindor, feeling slightly panicked, rushed to his side, as the man stumbled back, trying to regain composure. His weight slumped against Harry as he toppled over, but Harry managed to sling the man’s arm over his shoulder just in time before he hit the floor. Slowly, he guided the man towards the old wooden bed in the corner and lowered him into it. Harry raced back to grab the satchel, and sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Snape started to cough up blood. Harry couldn’t help but feel so mad and furious with himself. Maybe he _was_ a git like his father.

“What’s happening? I thought Draco gave you the antidote?” Harry rustled through the bag and hastily pulled out an assortment of multi-coloured vials and jars.

Snape shifted himself higher on the bed to sit up but felt as though the room was spinning. He shut his eyes in an attempt to control his vertigo and nausea building up. “He did. I had only time to…procure one antidote…with Nagini’s venom – It was trial and error. Remnants of the venom still flows within my veins. The effects of the anti-venom…began to lose potency yesterday…I couldn’t fully eradicate it from my system.”

Harry gave a sigh of frustration and pulled out a few more vials. “That didn’t work? I have a few antidotes here…Might help slow it down?” He held each vial up.

“Won’t make much difference, Potter…Nagini was no normal snake, as you know full well, “Snape coughed a few times and closed his eyes again, trying to focus on steadying his breathing. “That _wretched_ snake was cursed. Its venom will be difficult to treat…and effects likely longer-lasting.”

“Then how did Arthur Weasley survive it?”

“Mr Weasley spent ample time at St. Mungo’s…and access to specialised medicinal concoctions and spells. I don’t have that luxury, Potter. Besides, once the Dark Lord realised his precious soul fragments were being illuminated…he began adding increased magical protections on her.” He became more breathless with each passing second.

“Just use these. They are better than nothing! Here – “Harry pulled the top off one of the vials, and assisted Snape in pouring the liquid into his mouth. The man spluttered, and gasped several times, and Harry looked over in horror, hoping that his not-so-bright idea wasn’t going to kill him. A few minutes passed, and Snape’s breathing became more regular – Some mode of colour returning to his face. He eventually drifted off to sleep, and Harry could hear him start to snore lightly. Harry rummaged through his rucksack and pulled out some old pieces of clothing at the bottom, and with _Scourgify,_ they were clean enough to use. He stripped the old clothes into useable pieces. Taking this rare opportunity, he applied pressure to the wound on his neck, to stop the last few trickles of blood from seeping through. Once he was satisfied enough with the clean-up, he began to apply murtlap essence to the wounds he could see, hoping that it could provide some relief upon his waking. Once he was done, he transfigured some of the remaining pieces of cloth into bandages, and gently wrapped it around the man’s neck, covering the horrific wound.

Harry left the man to rest, and curled up on the couch, not wanting to leave the man in the state he was now in. He spent some time lost in his thoughts and felt a pang of guilt for letting himself lose his anger on Snape. Sure Snape fired him up as always, but in all honesty, Harry was no better. The man was right, though. Of course. He needed to learn to control his emotions. He needed to relax his mind somehow, and refrain from letting his anger boil to tipping point. He just felt so frustrated with everything that has happened, and the newfound knowledge he has thanks to Snape’s memories that was hastily shared with him. His mind was so very conflicted.

But slowly, Harry eventually drifted off to sleep.


	4. Torment

**Warning: This chapter contains suicidal themes and ideation, so just a heads up.**

* * *

CHAPTER 4 – Torment

“ _Still_ here, Potter?”

Startled, Harry shot his head up from the couch, and looked over to Snape who was perched on the edge of the bed on the other side of the room. He noticed the man still looked a little unwell, but he was no longer marble white, much to Harry’s relief. However, he still looked rather breathless.

Running a hand through his messy dark hair, he sat himself completely up, “Well, yeah. Had to make sure you were actually going to wake up.”

“You must be disappointed, “Snape said, coolly.

Harry shot him a glare, “If I didn’t give a damn, I wouldn’t be here then, would I?”

Snape sighed, and curiously prodded the new bandage around his neck, damp with essence of murtlap. “You shouldn’t have bothered, Potter.”

“Why won’t you let me help you?”

“You wanted me dead last year. Why the change?”

“Yeah, well, that was before I knew you were working _against_ Voldemort. Forgive me for not being a damn seer.”

“You know full well why I had to withhold the truth from you, “Snape said, softly.

“You can’t blame me for being so mad about it. I’m just sick of people _keeping_ things from me. After all this time…Dumbledore, you, The Order…I _know_ it was to keep me safe. I just _hated_ being left in the dark, “Harry slammed the couch armrest angrily with his palm so suddenly, causing Snape to flinch.

Snape rose slowly and carefully from the bed and made his way to the chair adjacent to Harry. Gingerly, he lowered himself down. For the first time, Harry noticed the man’s expression had relaxed. It was softer; concerned, even. A minute or two had passed, before either of them finally spoke.

“ _Look_ , Potter. I did what Albus instructed me to do. I didn’t always approve of his methods – his _daft_ plans – But I was compliant with them regardless. No matter what the risk, “Snape continued to glance at Harry, and drew in a mildly trembling breath. “I had no choice but to keep certain things from you. It was far too risky at any given moment, once we realised the Dark Lord could peer into your mind. It would have put us _all_ in danger.”

Harry clenched his jaw, and nodded, “I get that. It’s just – I felt like I had no one on my side. No one who truly understood what that felt like. For me, that was the worst feeling - Being so purposely isolated and alone.”

Snape peered at the young Gryffindor, “Finally, we have something in common. “

Harry’s eyes flickered to Snape’s, and for a moment, it felt like unspoken words. For that moment, there was a mutual understanding, and perhaps, maybe they did have that in common. Harry never realised this before, as he spent so many years blinded by his hatred of this man sitting before him. Now finally knowing the truth, he could start to see the man in a different light. Sure, he was still an unsufferable bully and tormentor at times and took pleasure in mocking him at every chance he got, but he always spoke the bitter and brutal truth. And Harry really needed to hear it. No more sugar-coating. No more lies. No more stories. Just honesty.

“When you first arrived at Hogwarts, I admit that I was very…unfairly harsh on you, “Snape leaned back in his chair, “But when you decided to use a shield charm during our Occlumency lesson, you happen to witness your father and his merry bandits using spells to torture and humiliate, “Snape winced at his own words, “You look _just_ like him, Potter. You must understand that it was extremely difficult looking at the face identical to my tormentor every _single_ day. You didn’t know because you painted him in such good light, as many others did. _Their_ word against mine.”

“I would have understood if you didn’t _throw_ me out of our last Occlumency lesson, “Harry responded, a little annoyed.

“I am a wounded man, Potter, “Snape clenched his jaw, “However over the years, I realised that you reminded me more of Lily than you did James. After all this time…I _did_ eventually develop a measure of…respect…For you… _Admittedly_.”

Harry’s expression softened. He didn’t expect Snape to admit such a thing, “Sir – “

“I kept you alive, for _her_ , “Snape looked saddened, and he rose up from his chair, and glided to the dimly sunlit window, wanting desperately to look away from the face of Lily’s son. Harry watched as the man leaned on the windowsill looking out to the horizon, hunched over. His long, messy black hair hung over his face, and shielding whatever emotion he did not want Harry to see. “You became an orphan because of _my_ stupidity. You have every right to hate me – _loathe_ me, even. I lost a part of myself the night she died. Wrecked with guilt – Merlin’s beard, I _wished_ I could have traded my life for hers. I was about to join them, Potter. You don’t realise how close I was to – “Snape drew in a shaky breath as his voice cracked. He couldn’t finish his sentence.

Harry sat on the edge of the couch, aghast at what he just heard. Snape’s words cut through Harry’s heart like a knife – He was in disbelief. Severus Snape – A man whom Harry believed to be heartless, cold, cruel, emotionless – Was close to breaking point once he admitted how painful those memories were for him. He cared for Lily deeply – Harry felt guilty, yet he didn’t quite understand why. Although he found it strange that no-one else had told Harry of Snape’s close friendship with his mother, he couldn’t help but feel a little mad at Sirius and Remus from keeping that crucial piece of information from him. It was as if they didn’t want Harry to see Snape from that perspective. As Snape said, ‘their word against his’. It sure as hell would have saved the both of them from being at odds with each other since his first year at Hogwarts and adopt some sort of mutual leniency.

Harry bit his lip, and looked away from the broken man, granting him a bit of privacy and dignity. But as a short time passed, Harry rose from the couch and retrieved his rucksack from the dust-covered ground. He pulled out his Invisibility Cloak and made his way to join his ex-teacher by the window.

“Take this Invisibility cloak, Sir, “Harry said, quietly. He extended the cloak to Snape, “You can borrow it for now. It’s a nice day out there – Use it to go outside. Get some air.”

At first Snape seemed to ignore this request. Harry noticed his eyes seemed to gloss over, but he remained unmoving, and staring out in the distance. Eventually, Snape looked at Harry and then at the cloak, and retrieved it gently, tucking it under his arm. Snape didn’t say a word.

Harry drew in a breath, “I was thinking we go back to the school, and I can help you brew another antidote. A stronger one. We can use the venom from the Basilisk fang that I have from the Chamber and sneak into the Potions lab without anyone noticing…Sir?”

The man remained silent. Harry could barely hear him breathing now. He noticed his hands trembling slightly. Eventually, Snape drew in a deep breath and glanced in Harry’s general direction, being careful to avoid his direct gaze. “Leave me be.”

Harry blinked several times, “You can’t be serious? No, I won’t leave – Not after what you’ve just admitted to me.”

“I’ve told you more than enough. I’ve done my duty, now I best let this poison run the rest of its course.”

“ _What_? You’re not – “

“– Just _drop_ it, Potter.”

“So that’s it, then? You’ve just overcome the greatest mission anyone has ever had to do, and then now you want to end it? Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“I don’t believe you. My mother would not have wished this upon you, no matter how things ended up.”

“How dare you blackmail me…On Lily’s memory. Don’t you see, Potter? Everything is over for me - I lost everything. I can’t even bear to be in _my_ own company. I have damaged the relationships I had with my colleagues – my allies. My reputation is destroyed. I can’t bear to face anyone again. I fear what others may think, after I betrayed them all. I _deserve_ death as punishment. It would be much more merciful.”

“How do you know what others think? Snape - _You_ saved their lives. _You_ saved mine. You are making it seem like you failed. Well, you _didn’t_. From where I see it, you’ve earned your second chance. My mother would have wanted you to live and carry on. Don’t waste it. Come back to Hogwarts. Talk with McGonagall and Flitwick – Everyone knows that I could not have defeated Voldemort without your help. You deserve to be out there more I do right now.”

Snape glanced at Harry, warily. His features slackened in exhaustion.

Harry lowered his voice, “I’m giving you a purpose, Snape. You gave me something to fight for - Let me give you one, if you’d just _let_ me help.”

The brooding man stared at the teenager for a few moments, but what felt like eternity to Harry. The man’s gaze darted from each bright eye – a reminder of why he chose to keep going, despite his odds. His pursed lips relaxed, and he gave a small sigh. “…You really are stubborn, Potter, “Snape said quietly, slowly untucking the Cloak, and folded it over his arm. He looked at Harry, and after a few moments, a small inkling of a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. It was subtle, but evident. And that was enough to leave Harry satisfied. On his mother’s name, he’d be damn sure he wasn’t going to give up on him, like everyone else did. They both could use a second chance.

Harry led Snape down the tunnelled path out of the Shrieking Shack, and past the Whomping Willow. The thick branches shifted in their presence but withheld from plummeting them to the ground. Harry amused himself by imagining this tree pulverizing Death Eaters during the Battle, and this thought left Harry with a smirk on his face. He waited until Snape threw the Invisibility Cloak over himself and stepped out into the basking sunlight of the afternoon with him in tow. He could hear the light footsteps of Snape beside him and wondered if he was going to walk off unbeknownst to him, just to humour himself. It was an odd thought as a reminder that Harry had attacked Snape in pursuit the night Dumbledore was killed, along the same path both were walking together now. But knowing what he knows now, it all made sense.

They wandered up the slanted slope of the hillside and treaded along the newly constructed bridge leading to the Hogwarts grounds.

“The bridge appears different…” Snapes voice startled Harry, almost forgetting that he is using the Cloak, and was standing quite close to him.

“Seamus blew it up, apparently. On McGonagall’s orders. “

“Finnigan?”

Harry grinned, “Yeah. I was told Neville lead the Snatchers to the trap.”

There was a short silence, before Snape gave a light snort, “Impressive. “

They wandered to the courtyard, almost fully repaired now, until Harry was startled by a sudden chorus of familiar voices.

“HARRY!”

“Hi Harry!”

The Gryffindor looked over to see Luna and Neville waving at him on the far side. They beckoned for him to join them. At first he hesitated, as he needed to reach the Potions lab, but he didn’t want to be rude and ignore them. Harry just didn’t feel like socialising at this point. His recent interactions with Snape were enough to want him to shut the rest of the world out for a short while. He knew his friends meant well, but he just couldn’t help but feel like everything that happened was his fault. They almost lost their lives because of him, and Harry will forever carry that guilt, and every interaction with a friend was a painful reminder of that.

Gingerly, he wandered over to the pair, “Hi Luna...Neville.”

Luna smiled sweetly, “We had been wondering where you had disappeared to. I thought you may be visiting the Thestrals.”

Harry shook his head but was slightly amused at that comment. _Does Snape count?_ “Oh, no Luna. I was just off for a walk. Kinda needed to clear my head, you know?”

“Quite understandable, Harry, “Luna tilted her head, still adopting her usual dazed smile.

“You alright?” Neville chimed in, looking concerned.

Harry nodded, “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a break.”

“We were going to meet Dean and the Parvati twins at The Three Broomsticks. Wanna join us? We can escape Hogwarts for a little bit, “Neville asked, “I think we could all use a drink.”

Harry bit his lip, and drew in a deep breath, “Maybe another time. I still have a lot to do.”

“We can have Butterbeer, or perhaps even Firewhisky if you prefer, “Luna asked. “We can go fill our stomachs with pie, and pudding – “

“- Another time, I promise, “Harry quickly declined, “Don’t wait for me – You guys can go. Say hi to everyone for me, okay?”

“Okay, Harry, “Neville nodded, “Just let us know if you need anything, okay? Maybe we can bring something back for you.”

Harry smiled, “Thanks Neville. Well, see you both later!”

With that, Harry darted off quickly hoping to avoid further conversation. He entered the main building, and found the stairs leading to the dungeons, with much haste.

“Quite the socialite you’ve become, Potter, “Snape startled Harry yet again, suddenly realising that he had stuck around for the awkward conversation. The Gryffindor flushed with embarrassment.

“Just not in the mood for it, alright?” Harry seemed annoyed.

“I thought you’d be enticed by getting drunk on Firewhisky?”

“Yeah well, maybe I prefer to do that sitting by myself in the Gryffindor common room. I’m not exactly sociable material right now, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed. “

They reached the bottom of the stairs leading them into the dark abyss of the dungeons, and immediately made their way to the eerily empty Potions lab. Luckily for them, the dungeons were the last place anyone would think to be. Once inside, Snape removed the Cloak, and retrieved his wand, sealing the door with enchantments. Snape looked pale and sickly again.

Harry shot him a curious glance as he performed the enchantments, and Snape looked back at him almost predicting his thoughts, “Like you, I’m in no mood to be seen.”

Removing the rucksack from his shoulder, he retrieved the Basilisk fang from its depths, and placed it on the table on the far side of the room. Immediately, Harry started to retrieve the ingredients needed to concoct a standard antidote. _Powdered unicorn horn, Mistletoe berries, bezoar…_ And then Harry’s mind trailed back to the Advanced Potions textbook that had once belonged to Snape in his student years – unknown to Harry at the time – And began to retrieve the additional items that he listed. _Honeywater, mint sprigs, Mandrake, and essence of lavender…_

Snape finally wandered over, and eyed the Gryffindor in amusement, “Well, well. It seems I taught you something after all. Only took six years.”

“At least the book didn’t try to sabotage my attempts, or tell me my potions were doomed to fail, “Harry answered with this usual sarcasm, “I learned better from a book, than having you breath down my neck every second.”

“A book _I_ edited, Potter. That seemed to slip your mind.” Snape set up a few cauldrons and began the process of extracting remnants of the venom from the Basilisk fang.

Harry started preparing the Mandrake, “Meanwhile here I am, brewing a potion _with_ you. Who’d have thought?”

“Is that so terrible?” Snape raised an eyebrow, flourishing his wand at the cauldron before him.

“You tell me?” Harry was concentrating on stewing the Mandrake.

Snape snorted, “I’m sure Albus is having a jolly old time right now witnessing this.”

“I have no doubt he is.”

“And Potter –“

“Yeah?”

“- _SIR_.”

“Yeah… _SIR_?”

“Your potions skills are, in fact…Decent. “

Harry frowned, “Really?”

Snape bowed his head, “Your mother was a gifted witch, and exceptional at Potions. I learned much from her. I’m certain Horace Slughorn would have informed you of that, during his infamous Slug Club meetings.”

“Yeah, he did, actually. Were you ever a part of the Slug Club?” Harry brought his Mandrake to a boil.

“No. It was all based on parental lineage. Or fame by association. I would have declined even if he did extend an invitation. Those supposed meetings were _ridiculous_.” Snape whirled to the cauldron in the centre and began adding the ingredients together.

Harry snorted, “ _Socialite_.”

The man shot him a mildly amused look, “We _are_ quite the _sociable_ pair, aren’t we? Disappearing into the dungeons to brew potions, while your friends get drunk on Firewhisky.”

“Basically, yeah.”

“…You’re afraid to sit with them, aren’t you?” Snape threw another ingredient in the cauldron, and smoky teal fumes began to waft gently from it.

Harry hesitated, and stopped to look at Snape, as he handed him the prepared Mandrake, “I wouldn’t say _afraid_ , just…Feeling somewhat disconnected.”

“War can both unite or separate us, Potter. It’s unpredictable which way they turn.”

“I just feel so guilty. They almost died because of me.”

Snape raised his eyebrows, “I understand.”

“I knew you would. I guess that’s why I felt compelled to…seek you out.”

“Potter, there is not much else I can do for you. You are seeking advice from the wrong person.”

“Who else do you suggest? Hermione? Ron? Molly? McGonagall? And have them all tell me everything is going to be okay? The worst is over? That things will get better?!” Harry threw the ladle down on the table in frustration and walked away from the steaming cauldron.

Snape pursed his lips and watched as he paced the room, “You have experienced a severe trauma, Potter. You cannot expect it to disappear from your mind and move on as if nothing has changed. You have spent the last few years being _hunted_ by the darkest wizard of all time. You’ve faced danger since the night your parents died for you. No one should take that lightly, not even you.”

“Then why do I feel so terrible about it?” Harry turned to face him.

“It is war, Potter. People die. You cannot save everyone, no matter how hard you try.”

“Trust you to be _insensitive_ about it.”

“You can’t _coax_ me into giving you the brutal truth and get _upset_ about it when I do. You wanted brutal honesty, Potter, I provided it. Either consider what I’ve said or find someone else to sugar-coat it for you!” Snape was seething. He flourished his wand at the cauldron, but before he was able to begin filling the vials, he suddenly clutched his chest, and crumbled to the floor. An empty vial shattered on the floor beside him.

Harry sprinted back to the table, and quickly began to fill a vial with the finished antidote. He carefully sat the man up against the table leg, and shifted the filled vial to his lips, “Snape – stay with me.” Heaving, Snape managed to swallow the teal liquid with extreme distaste and squirmed from the discomfort he was feeling in his chest. He took a few shaky breaths and wiped a steady stream of blood from his nose. Harry, still kneeling by his side, watched the man continue to clutch his chest, hoping with intensity that the new antidote can finally do its job. Harry retrieved an empty glass from the table, and with _Aguamenti,_ filled it with water.

Slowly, Snape’s breathing began to regulate, and his pained expression on his face started to relax. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing and resting his racing heart. Harry handed the man the glass of water he had conjured and watched closely as he took several cautious sips. Relief washed over the man’s features.

“Better?” Harry asked.

The man nodded slowly, “Thus far.” Harry began to help him to his feet and sat the man down on one of the chairs, while he filled up the remaining vials with the new antidote and cleared the bench of all evidence that they were there.

“…Well done.” His voice was slightly raspy, steadying himself against the table.

Harry glanced back at the man, “Well, you didn’t actually criticise my potion-making for once.”

Snape couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, “You were _finally_ able to follow my instructions. Maybe you are not as much as a _dunce_ at potions as I originally thought.”

“Gee, thanks sir. Your boost of confidence makes me feel loads better, “Harry said sarcastically, as he handed the Invisibility Cloak back to Snape.

“If I were you, I’d take the bloody compliment before I change my mind.”

“Compliments make me uncomfortable.”

Snape raised an eyebrow, “The Chosen One hates compliments? What an intriguing revelation.”

Harry shrugged, “Well, I grew up not receiving them, so I kinda subconsciously dismiss them. I can’t help it.”

Snape stared at him blankly. “Your insufferable relatives?”

“Yep.”

Harry handed the man the potion vials and made his way to the door of the classroom, “Keep the Cloak for now. I need to go clear my head.”

“Do what you must.” Snape pocketed the newly brewed potions within his tattered robes. “And, Potter?”

Harry turned around, “Yeah?”

Snape rose slowly from his chair and looked directly into Harry’s curious gaze. He paused slightly, almost as if he struggled to articulate his thoughts. For a moment, he seemed to falter. But instead he bowed his head slowly, breaking his gaze, “Please accept my gratitude…for saving my life.”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat. _A thank you? From Snape? Did he hear correctly?_ “The least I can do, sir.” He nodded in acknowledgement, and made his way out of the dungeons, and towards the Gryffindor Common Room.


	5. In Memoriam

**This is a huge chapter! Oops! I really couldn't stop adding to it and struggled to find an end point. I found an end to it, eventually. Hope you enjoyed reading this one, as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review if you can, so I know if I'm going too OOC in any way. But if you are still reading this far - THANK YOU!**

* * *

CHAPTER 5 – In Memoriam

Harry had found himself slumped over in one of the armchairs in the common room of Gryffindor tower. The crackling fireplace he conjured, had since been extinguished, but a serene glow of the sunlight through the stained-glass windows cast a peculiar light throughout the eerily empty room. It felt strange for him to be here while most students were gone. Neville and Luna snuck back some butterbeer and cherry pie for him, and a few other treats, and sat with him for a few hours before making their way home, once they sensed that Harry needed some time alone.

He felt useless and not like his usual self. They did engage in conversation and found themselves reminiscing in memories of the times during Dumbledore's reign as Headmaster, but Harry could not help but feel depressed and heartbroken at the thought of all those lives now lost, and the damage done to the lives still going. Including his own. He thought the familiar company would do some good, but in fact, he felt much worse. How could anyone possibly understand what he was feeling? His friends, fellow classmates and adults fought bravely by his side. But neither could begin to comprehend or unravel the pain within his very core, and the hopelessness he still feels due to the events that caused so much pain and grief within his life. He was surrounded by friends and allies…But he has never felt more alone, than he did in this moment.

Yes, he won the battle. But was he _truly_ victorious?

Once Neville and Luna left his side, he found himself weeping silently, allowing his tears to soak his shirt until he finally succumbed to the exhaustion of the last few days, and drifted to sleep.

Once he awoke, he sat in silence staring at the familiar ancient scarlet tapestries which lined the walls. Once he finally felt ready enough, he began to pull out his ink and quill, and managed to salvage 2 pieces of parchment from his bag. Lighting up the fireplace once again, he began to write.

_Ron,_   
_How are you holding up? I was hesitant sending anything earlier, as I wanted to give you all some space. Hogwarts is almost fully restored. We've been working on its repairs, and it's looking better than ever. Hope you can see it all soon._

_Give everyone my condolences, okay? I wanted to send you this letter to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family during this time. Really missing you all._

_Harry_

Harry folded the parchment neatly and set it aside to write the second one.

_Hermione,_   
_Can you believe I'm still here at Hogwarts? Everyone has done a great job in restoring it. We've barely stopped. The school is almost back to its old self now. It's still quite surreal._

_I knew you wanted to spend time with your parents, so it's why I held back on sending this letter. I wanted to give you all time to yourselves. Truth is, I miss you lot. I never thought I'd say this, but I feel useless and unsure how to deal with everything. Probably also why I chose to keep a little distance, because I feel you don't need to deal with me right now. We won the fight, but it's the internal once I'm struggling with. I hope you understand._

_Really hope to see you both soon. When you are ready._

_Harry_

Clenching his jaw, he gently folded the second piece of parchment, and made his way up to the boy's dormitory, expecting Hedwig to be there, perched beside his bed. It took him a long while to process what he was seeing. Harry stood there, for several moments, eyes slowly welling up with a deep indescribable sadness at the realisation that Hedwig – his beautiful snowy owl - was never coming back. Mentally kicking himself expecting such a thing, he made his way out of the common room, and headed straight to the Owlery to send his letters.

He wandered back down onto the grounds, and upwards through the winding path to the Owlery. He was shocked to find that half of it had been destroyed, and not yet been restored. A few owls still fluttered around, but it was the first time he'd seen the building at this state. Luna had told him a few days ago that Voldemort had ordered his Death Eaters to destroy it, so that students could not send for help during the battle. His heart sunk to his stomach at the thought, and an image of frightened students running to the Owlery to attempt to send emergency letters, flooded his mind. What a terrible thought.

Once he found two willing owls, he sent off both letters, with a feeling of uncertainly rising within his chest. A part of him felt afraid to send them – almost feeling as if he is intruding on their grief. The other part of him felt relieved to finally reach out. But in all honesty, he was scared. Scared of what the future would hold now for them. For their families. For his friends.

Attempting to push those thoughts from his mind, he left the Owlery and made his way back to the castle. He noticed a giant figure leaving the castle, and immediately, Harry's face lit up like a lamp.

"Hagrid!" Harry called out, hastily speeding up his stride to reach the half-giant.

At the call of his name, the man turned to see Harry walking towards him. His face, too, lit up, "Blimey, Harry!" Once they were in reach, Hagrid enveloped the Gryffindor is a warm embrace, and held that position longer than usual. "It's good te see ya!"

"You too, Hagrid, "Harry responded, finally pulling away from the embrace.

"Oh, guess what? Me hut is finally repaired. Professor Flitwick and a few of the students had it repaired for me. Fang's all relieved now." The man chuckled.

"That's great to hear, Hagrid. I was going to get that tended to for you, but they must have beaten me to it."

"Ahh, Harry, it's alrigh'. Yer had enough on your mind," Hagrid allowed his large palm to rest of Harry's shoulder, "Say, you should go home and get some rest. Ye look exhausted."

"Home, yeah. I'm kind of lacking that right now, "Harry hadn't really thought too much about it. He always considered Hogwarts home, but at this state…He crinkled his brow and thought of Grimmauld Place. Could be home? Well, technically it was. Harry, Ron and Hermione had spent weeks hiding out in there whilst they were being hunted. But for some reason, it didn't feel much like a home. At this point in time, nowhere did.

"Well, you can always stay with me and Fang!" Hagrid beamed, but his smile slowly faded when he noticed Harry's sombre expression. "Oh."

Harry shook his head, "I'll figure it out, Hagrid, don't worry. I'll feel better once Hogwarts has been fully restored. It's sad to see it like that."

Hagrid nodded, "Quite right. Listen, Harry. Ye gave me quite a scare, back…You know when. Doing…you know what. We nearly lost ye."

Walking to his death in the Forbidden Forest. How could he ever forget? And poor Hagrid had to carry his body back, on Voldemort's orders. Neither had a clue he survived that final attack. Pretending to be dead in Hagrid's arms was not a part of the plan, but it was effective. Harry had to resist flinching, when his shirt was getting soaked with Hagrid's tears as he wept that morning. That was quite the challenge.

Harry offered the man a reassuring smile, "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry – But, I'm glad you were there."

"Ye beat him Harry. Ye did it. I knew ye would. I'm proud of ya – We all are, and don't ye forget it."

"Thank you, Hagrid. "Harry was enveloped in another hug yet again by the half-giant, which seemed to help calm his anxiety somewhat. They parted ways soon after, as Hagrid made his way back to his hut on the outer grounds of the castle.

Once Harry was alone again, he decided to sit on one of the stone benches within the main courtyard and closed his eyes deep in thought. The atmosphere was quiet. He could barely hear any voices around now, and he figured many of the students finally decided to return home to their families. He was amazed at their dedication in staying, despite their own experience in the war. Harry felt another pang of guilt and opened his eyes again. The sun was starting to set in the distance, and faint rays of sunlight pierced the greyed clouds, casting beams of light on the stone pathways of the castle. It was rather stunning to see. Harry felt a light breeze, which was soothing against his bruised skin.

He sat alone for a short while, until the sun slowly began to dip further among the horizon, but a flap of wings startled him back to reality. A hazel-colored owl landed by his side, and Harry retrieved the letter from its beak, before he took flight once more. Harry opened the letter.

_Hey Harry,_   
_Sorry I've not sent a letter sooner. Things have been quite difficult at home. We are having a funeral for Fred tomorrow afternoon, and we'd all like you to be there. Mum has says you can stay with us tonight, and Hermione will be here as well. It's just going to be a small service for now. I hear Professor McGonagall wants to plan a huge memorial service at Hogwarts for everyone sometime over the weekend…Well, that's what Mum is telling me._

_Anyway, we really hope you can be here._

_Ron_

Harry ran his fingers through his hair, in a mixture of emotions. He wondered when they were going to hold a funeral for Fred. His death feels even more real now.

Once Harry sent off a response to Ron, he went back to the castle to retrieve the little belongings he had left. Hermione had previously dropped off the rest of his clothes from her curious purse, so at least he had some things with him. He made his way to McGonagall's office – thankfully, which was empty – And travelled to the Burrow via Floo powder.

He entered the fireplace and threw down the Floo powder and disappeared in green fire and smoke. Next thing he saw, was the familiar household of the Weasley family, as he stepped out of the adjourning fireplace. The first friendly face he saw, was Molly Weasley's.

"Oh Harry!" Molly immediately wrapped him up in a motherly hug and rubbed his back simultaneously. Molly had already treated Harry like another son, and this made Harry feel all warm inside. He really missed being at the Burrow. Last time he remembered being here, was during Bill and Fleur's wedding – The night that Harry, Ron and Hermione fled went on the run. That seemed like a lifetime ago. "It's wonderful to see you, my dear."

"Same to you, Molly." Harry hesitated for a bit, not sure what to say. "I just want to say…I'm-"

"- Don't say another word, Harry, "Molly cupped her hands against Harry's face and looked directly at him with the saddest smile he ever could see on the woman. They were all hurting with this terrible loss. "It's not _your_ fault. Fred would be so happy for you to be here. We all are."

"Harry's here!" Immediately, Hermione bounded down the wooden staircase, and tackled Harry with a hug. It seemed he was getting a lot of those today. He gripped Hermione tightly, as he pondered how much he really missed his friends. Hermione let go of the embrace and gazed into Harry's lost expression. She dropped her voice, "How are you, Harry?"

"Oh, you know. Peachy, "Harry shrugged. What else could he say? That he was happy?

"Come on, let us go upstairs and see Ron and Ginny. We've all missed you, "Hermione led Harry away from Molly, as they ascended the rickety wooden staircase of the Burrow and guided him to Ron's familiar bedroom.

Once Hermione opened the door, Harry's face lit up at the sight of Ginny sitting on the floor besides Ron. Harry could feel tears welling up, as he realised it has been so long since they saw each other. Last he recalled they were hunting for the last few Horcrux's at Hogwarts. They saw each other briefly after the Battle, but she left with the rest of her family in mourning over Fred. Since then, he let her be and gave her the space she needed at that time. Now, he longed for her company again.

Ginny bounded up from the floor, and ran to Harry, enveloping him in the hug he so longed for. They held their embrace, for what seemed like an eternity. He buried his face in her long red hair and felt his cheek flush with warmth. He missed her so much. He felt Ginny tenderly kiss his cheek, and rubbed his back soothingly, as he allowed that moment to settle. Eventually, Harry broke off the embrace and led Ginny to the floor besides Ron, who was cross-legged with Hermione now nestled against his shoulder.

"Ron…Ginny…" Harry lowered his head respectfully, "I'm so sorry about Fred."

Ron simply nodded, not sure how he should respond to that. Eventually, he managed to muster up a few words, "Yeah. It still hadn't sunken in yet. We are all in a state of shock, really."

Harry nodded in understanding. Ginny reached out to hold Harry's hand, and leaned against him.

"Harry, how is Hogwarts? We're sorry we haven't come back to help – "Hermione broke the silence.

"It's looking much better. Still a lot to repair, but it looks more like it did before, "Harry said, "It's fine. You guys have enough to worry about. Everyone has been doing shifts, and some coming back to help."

There was a faint sound of sobbing echoing from downstairs. Harry looked from Ginny, to Ron, to Hermione. Everyone looked uncomfortable.

"Mum's been doing that all day, every day, since…You know, "Ginny whispered, sadly. There was a short silence between them all.

The silence was making Harry deeply uncomfortable, "Hermione, how are your parents?"

Hermione blinked out of the sombre trance she was in, "I lifted the memory charm, and everything is back to normal. Though, I didn't have the heart to fill them in on the battle. I just couldn't."

"Say Harry…" Ron shifted slightly uncomfortably in his seat, "How are _you_ feeling?"

Harry clenched his jaw, and shrugged, "I really don't know."

"I only ask because, well…We've all been really worried about you. We hadn't heard from you after we left, and well…People have been worried too."

Harry gave Ron a frown, " _What_ have people been saying?"

Ron began to speak, but Hermione sat up and looked from Ron to Harry. "Well…We've been told that you've been…avoiding people."

Now it was Harry's turn to sit up straight. He gently let go of Ginny's hand, and the look on his face was now pure annoyance, "Told? By _who_?"

Hermione looked uncomfortable, "I can't say who exactly. _Many_ people are worried about you, Harry. We all are. It's just…Not wise to be by yourself. At this time. After everything."

Harry ran a frustrated hand through his messy dark hair, "Stop worrying, I'm fine –"

"-Harry you are NOT fine!" This time it was Ginny to say something, and the sound of her stricken voice caused Harry to jump slightly. Harry looked to Ginny and noticed how sad her eyes looked. They were all looking at him…Watching him. Suddenly, Harry felt suffocated with the sudden tension in the air.

"What did you _want_ me to say? That everything is _okay_? That everything will get _better_? Well, it won't – "Harry stood up, " _How_ can things get better? People _died_ because of me. You all have families to go home to, and I have…No one. I already lost Sirius, and now Remus…" Harry's voice cracked, but no tears came this time. He stood there fuming, trying to calm his breath in which became uncontrollable within his anger. The faces on Ron, Hermione and Ginny were that of shock, as each sat there staring at Harry with their mouths gaped open. "I can't face people again because of my _guilt_. And don't pretend that you understand, because you don't…I – I need some air."

Harry backed out of Ron's room, bolted down the stairs and made his way outside of the Burrow into the crisp night air. He took in a deep breath and gave him time to steady himself. _Ugh, what the hell am I doing. They didn't deserve that. I'm such an idiot!_ Harry looked up at the stars, as if he were searching for a sign that he wasn't completely losing his sanity. After everything that happened, dealing with the aftermath of the war was the most testing.

Hearing a shuffle of feet behind him, he turned to find Molly Weasley making her way towards him. She gave Harry a warm smile and placed a reassuring arm around his shoulders. After a few minutes standing like that, he heard Molly sigh before she began to finally speak, "During the First Wizarding War, I lost both of my eldest brothers – Fabian and Gideon. They were members of the Order of the Phoenix when it was first established, you know. One day, they were locked in a battle with a group of Death Eaters. Their deaths left me so distraught, that I felt terrible that I was neglecting my own young children at the time. Arthur was so _patient_ with me. Even now, I still get sad thinking about them, and wonder what men they would have been today, if they had lived. "

Molly shook her head in thought, and continued, "Anyway, the point of me telling you this, is that it's okay to feel angry and frustrated. But no one says you need to do that alone. You have so many people around you willing to give you some kind of comfort, Harry. _Trust_ that they mean well. Because they do. We can't pretend all that didn't happen. We keep the fallen in our memory, and we use that to _strengthen_ us for the days to come. We can't stay stuck in our guilt. Our loved ones would never want us to stop living. The war is won, thanks to you, sweetheart. Now we can all focus on re-building our lives the best we can. But for now, we must allow ourselves to grieve. Alright?"

Harry was speechless, and all he could muster was a few nods. Molly was right.

"Would you like to stay with us? A little more long-term? Arthur and I would be delighted to have you stay with us, "Molly turned to face Harry.

Harry was taken aback by the request, "Oh, err…I'll think about it, Mrs. Weasley. I don't want to intrude. Really. I still have loads I need to help with at Hogwarts. I might even fix up Grimmauld place, now that Kreacher is a little more welcoming of my company."

The woman smiled sadly, "Alright, Harry. The Burrow is welcome to you whenever you need, and always will be. Let's go back inside – I'll make us some tea."

Harry followed the woman back inside the Burrow and settled himself in the living room by the roaring fire. Eventually Harry went back to apologise to his friends for his little outburst earlier, but he still felt so terrible. He spent the rest of the evening quiet and lost in his own thoughts, and he figured that was safer for everyone this way. Just for now, until he can learn to deal with his grief.

The following morning was sombre and serene, but difficult. Molly and Arthur were insistent on a small service and knew that Minerva McGonagall was planning a larger memorial service for all those fallen in the Battle at Hogwarts. But for now, Fred would be buried with honour and love from his family and friends on this cool afternoon. Molly and Arthur wept, along with George, while Bill, Charlie and Percy stood in silence with their head bowed. Ron held onto Ginny besides the other siblings, and Harry and Hermione stood together in silence.

Once the service concluded, Harry left the Weasley's besides Fred's grave, and Hermione followed suite and found a spot under a tree for the both of them to sit.

"Hermione, I didn't want to mention it yesterday, but – "

"- You found him, didn't you? Snape?"

Harry blinked, "Err, yeah. How did you know?"

"Just an inkling. You tend to disappear for long periods of time when you are focused on something. Surely fixing Hogwarts wouldn't have kept you _that_ occupied, "Hermione gave Harry a playful nudge. She really was incredibly observant, "Where _did_ he disappear to?"

"I found him at the Shrieking Shack. He was in a bad state – He told me Draco had come to his aid shortly after we left him that night. That's why he suddenly showed up to the final fight."

Hermione nodded, "Makes sense. Besides, elaborate on 'bad state'. Is he alright?"

Harry shrugged, "Honestly, I'm not sure he is. I went back the day after I found him, and we spoke a little. A few arguments…Some civil conversations, surprisingly. He got mad at me for trying to help him. He wants to be left alone, but honestly, I'm worried to do that. After everything he's done…He feels just as horrible as I do right now."

"Well, like everyone else, he needs time to properly grieve, I suppose…I mean, he is free from the Death Eaters now. But I understand why he must feel scared to leave. Surely the Ministry will be looking for him, and he will likely be put on trial for Azkaban if they did. He is still not a free man…Poor Snape. He fooled us all."

"Hermione, you were the _only_ one of us who tried to convince us that his actions were good all these years. We should have listened to you. You always saw what we didn't, "Harry reassured.

Hermione shrugged, "I guess I always felt like there was…More to him. But he did his job so well. I can't imagine what that must have been like for him. Having to…kill Dumbledore…to keep his allegiance to Voldemort, and to have no choice but to turn against his friends and colleagues. What he felt he had to do, was horrible."

"Yeah. I'm still shocked by it all."

"Who else knows?" Hermione lowered her voice.

"Just us. "

Hermione's eyes grew wide, "You _have_ to tell McGonagall – "

"- Seriously? Snape will have me _hanged_. He didn't want anyone to know."

"You can't just… _Leave_ him in there! That can't be healthy."

"This is Snape we're talking about. He practically lived in the dungeons for years. Surely the Shack is a step up…"

"Harry, you can't joke about this!"

"I can't _force_ him to leave, Hermione. The least I can do is abide by his wishes. Not that I really know what they are, but…"

"Harry, I _know_ you and Snape have been on opposite sides of the coin since you started at Hogwarts, but…Look at what he _did_ for you. All these years, he looked out for you. Even despite his childhood animosity for your father. Try and at least reason with him." Hermione exasperated.

"I know, "Harry nodded, "I just don't know what good I'll be. I'm just a thorn in his side. I mean, the man still kinda hates me. How do you help a man who still hates you?"

"Surely he can't still actually _hate_ you. _Remember_ what he said to you before he died. We all heard it. What he said, was an indication that you are more like your mother than your father. That speaks volumes, Harry. Snape is a bitter man. But he finally needs someone on his side. I know deep down you want to try."

"Of course I will, Hermione. I guess I can't just do nothing. My mum would have wanted me to try."

Hermione smiled, "That's better, Harry. If it's one person that can help him see reason, it's you. "

Harry chuckled, "What makes you say that?"

"Well, you both have more in common that you may think. You were both motivated by the same person. Just, keep that in mind. Question is, after everything…Do _you_ still hate him?"

Harry sat there for a few moments; brow crinkled in thought. He looked out over to the Weasley's in the distance, "Yes…And no. Knowing what I know now, I can understand why he had to do certain things. But treating me unfairly and horribly at every opportunity since I started at Hogwarts, is not something you just _forget_. He was never openly supportive or understanding."

"Well, perhaps this is a test for the _both_ of you. You didn't see him a second time, without reason. Obviously, you hoped to gain something in that encounter. Otherwise you wouldn't have bothered."

Harry nodded slowly, "Yeah, I suppose. I'd be happy with a truce, to be honest. But I feel I owe him something at least. For all he did. If he didn't give me those memories, and what I needed to see, I wouldn't have known how to defeat Voldemort. He deserves more than just hiding out in an old dusty house, alone with his guilt."

Hermione nodded, "I know you won't give up. I know _you_. Maybe he'll come back to Hogwarts and teach again. "

Harry chuckled, "Funny you should mention that, because McGonagall asked me to consider a teaching position at Hogwarts. "

"That's wonderful! After our DA meetings, I knew you had the qualities of a proper teacher. But I thought you wanted to be an Auror?"

"Yeah, I did. Well, that was _before_ we ended up on the run, and fought for our lives. Now the more I think about it, teaching at Hogwarts sounds like a bit of a relief. I spent my school years escaping Voldemort's attempts on my life…I really don't fancy spending the rest of my years now hunting Dark Wizards."

Hermione smiled, "Very wise decision, Harry."

Harry finally stood up, and took in a deep breath, "Just – About Snape. I need you to keep that between us for now. Tell no one, not even Ron or Ginny. I just need time to figure out what I'm going to do."

"Of course, I will. I'll try and come up with some kind of solution, "Hermione stood up and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "It'll be alright, Harry. We'll all get through this… _somehow_. "

Harry nodded grimly, and without another word, they both made their way to re-join the Weasley's for tea at the Burrow. Harry was hesitant at first, but Molly insisted he stay for a few days with the family. And so he did.

But it wasn't until on the third day of being at the Burrow, where something made Harry's hair stand on end.

"Oh no, "Ronald groaned, as he pulled up the first pages of _The Daily Prophet_ and laid it flat down over Molly's breakfast offerings on the kitchen table. Breakfast was a little less sombre then it had been in the past few mornings since Fred's funeral, but it was still strange seeing George on his own without his trickster twin and partner-in-crime, and it was still something neither could quite deal with. Harry could barely look at George without feeling a wave of sadness for him.

Once Ron alerted everyone's attention, the room went silent.

"Listen to this – "Ron began to read an insert from the newspaper, "' _Reports early this morning indicated hostile activity in the old town of Cokeworth, where it believed to be an old residence of a Death Eater and possible safehouse for followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. An anonymous witness claimed he saw a small group of dark robed wizards enter a residence from the back ally and noticed one of them brandishing a Death Eater mask. Witches and wizards are advised to be on high alert, as the Ministry are still attempting to capture escaped Death Eaters seeking refuge. Contact Auror Headquarters for any further reports of sightings.'_ …Blimey. I thought they caught them all?"

Arthur Weasley looked incredibly worried, "The Ministry have been trying to track them ever since they escaped the battle at Hogwarts. Not all of them surrendered. Mr. Shacklebolt – now elected Minister – is enforcing extra Aurors to this task. I'm heading to the Ministry this morning and I'll try and find out more."

"So, there are more Death Eaters out there? Re-grouping?" Hermione stated in slight panic. She looked at Harry and glared, and Harry returned the look. Worry rose from the pit of his stomach. They both had the same horrible thought.

Harry looked back at Arthur, "Why would they re-group this soon? They know they are being hunted down…"

Arthur took a sip from his coffee mug and placed it down gently. He drew in a deep breath, "My guess, Harry, is that they might be targeting people. One last stand to take out the enemy. You best be on high alert, Harry…I'll contact the Auror office to assign someone to you…Just in case. "

Harry shook his head and rose from the kitchen table. "No, it's alright, Mr. Weasley, I'll go straight to Hogwarts and inform Professor McGonagall. The wards are now active, I'll be safe there. Besides, there is something else I have to do while I'm there."

"Oh, Harry, _please_ don't put yourself in anymore danger. You've had more than your share of it, "Molly pleaded, "Please stay here for your protection."

"I really have to go, Mrs Weasley, "Harry turned towards the living room where the fireplace was situated, "I'll be fine, really."

"I'll go with you, Harry, "Hermione placed down her cutlery, and retrieved her bag, and made her way over to Harry.

"Hermione, what – "Ron started to speak.

"It's alright Ron, we'll be back soon."

Harry and Hermione hurried out of the kitchen and travelled to Hogwarts directly via Floo powder. If both Gryffindors had the same thought, then they would have come to the conclusion that Snape may be targeted. If Death Eaters were regrouping, then more than one life could be in danger.

And it was about time Harry approached Professor McGonagall about it.


	6. A New Problem

**Hey guys! Just a head's up - any paragraphs in _italics_ are flashbacks. As mentioned in the first chapter, I have blended scenes from both book and film in this story. I know this might be frustrating for some readers – I'm just flowing with my headcannon LOL. The flashback scene opening this chapter is mainly derived from the book events, although I like to keep a visual from the films. For the sake of copyright and avoiding the repeat of the scenes we already know from the book, I have added a few extra things within it to help enforce this story of mine.**

**Also – McGonagall to the rescue!**

**Enjoy! =)**

* * *

CHAPTER 6: A New Problem

_Harry picked up his wand as he turned to face Voldemort for the last time._

_They stood face to face in the Great Hall, as onlookers lined its crumbling walls to witness the fight taking place before them. The Horcruxes were finally destroyed, including Nagini and the soul embedded in Harry. Both destroyed. Now the man before him was finally vulnerable. Mortal. And this was the final fight he knew he could not win. At this point, Harry had already told Voldemort how he was fooled and decieved by Snape, and his sacrifice for the greater good, which led to the destruction of his final Horcrux – Harry – One of which Voldemort was unaware of until now. Harry had shared with the now-silent room of the sacrifice his mother Lily made, and how that magic gave him the strength to finally face his enemy. But then Harry offered him remorse, but Voldemort was angered at the mere thought of reprieve._

_Students, Hogwarts staff, Aurors, and Order members…All watched warily and defiantly as both Harry and Voldemort circled each other. Many of the surviving Death Eaters had fled by this point, but some stayed behind in unwavering support of their dying Dark Lord._

_Now seething in anger, Voldemort raised the Elder Wand and sent what appeared to be a bolt of lighting in Harry's direction. The lightning storm which emanated through his wand, began to ricochet of the walls, sending pieces of stone to fall apart from its tapestry. A few of the students screamed and ran, while many of the older witched and wizards raised their wands in defence on the oncoming attacks. Voldemort fired another bolt directly at Harry, but something else happened._

_"PROTEGO!"_

_A glistening white magical shield materialised directly in front of Harry, repelling the oncoming bolt of lightning and redirecting it to three other Death Eaters standing behind their master. It took them down instantly. Confused, Harry turned around and his gaze was immediately shared by shocked gasps and murmurs._

_Severus Snape had returned. This time, with Draco Malfoy trailing hesitantly behind him._

_Snape looked just at Harry last remembered – Truly as if he had rose from the dead, barely holding on to life Harry thought was gone. His own blood still wet and soaked down his shirt and cloak; Face still pale and gaunt. But there he stood now, in front of the crowd with his wand raised, and faced his former master with a sneer Harry was all too familiar with. Harry was not sure who was the most shocked – Himself or Voldemort._

_"TRAITOR!" Voldemort hissed with a bubbling rage at the man who defied him for years._

_"Potter, finish him, "Snape did not dare to take his eyes off Voldemort, wand still pointed directly at him as a warning. "Vanquish this tyrant."_

_"But sir, how did you…?!" Harry asked, still clearly shocked by the man now moving to stand just behind him._

_"NOW Potter, do it!" Snape raised his voice slightly higher this time._

_Without another word, Harry cast Expelliarmus while Voldemort cast Avada Kedavra. Both spells collided in an instant, but this time, the fight would be quick. Harry's spell was overpowering his, once Voldemort realised the Elder Wand was not obeying him. In an instant, Voldemort was defeated. The room immediately erupted in cheers of relief, as the dark wizard was finally vanquished. The battle was finally over._

_Turning around, Harry saw Snape leaving without another word, and the man didn't even give Harry a second look. His black cloak billowing behind him, as he turned to the leave the Great Hall, and disappeared behind the crowd. Harry immediately left to follow him, but Snape managed to fly away from Hogwarts, and finally disappearing from view in a cloud of billowing black smoke._

_Harry stood at the Hogwarts entrance, clearly confused by the encounter. He was there when Snape died…Ron and Hermione witnessed it too. Snape knew he was doing to die – And yet he came back from the dead in time to witness Harry defeat Voldemort once and for all._

* * *

"The fireplace roared bright green, as Harry and Hermione emerged and found themselves in McGonagall's office. They both looked around to find it eerily unoccupied. They cautiously stepped outside and wandered toward towards the office door.

"It feels odd being here now. It's so…quiet, "Hermione looked over at Harry, who appeared deep in thought. "Shall we check the Headmaster's office? I can't imagine where else she'd be."

Harry nodded, as they began to make their way down the deserted corridor. It was hard to imagine any students being here now, and the possibility of a fight erupting here just seemed like an afterthought. It was all just a little too surreal for Harry to ponder, even despite the battle happening barely a week ago. But regardless, Hogwarts started to look more like its old self. Most of everything they saw had been repaired back to its former glory. No longer was crumbled stone laying in a dusty pile or rubble, or broken wands littering the floor, or the sight of fallen students lay helpless.

He can barely imagine school resuming now, with memories of such a dark day embedded into these corridors -

He felt a nudge from Hermione, and he was suddenly snapped out of his wandering mind. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. They were now standing at the familiar eagle statue guarding the Headmasters office. They had not got the slightest clue as to the password.

"Err…" Harry started.

"- Albus Dumbledore!"

Harry shook his head in confusion, and both her and Hermione turned to find Professor McGonagall striding towards them in her magnificent familiar emerald cloak. They were relieved. The statue roared to life as it suddenly scraped the entranceway, as it moved to the side to reveal the spiral staircase.

"Mr Potter. Miss Granger – Your timing is impeccable. Please follow me – "Minerva McGonagall beckoned for the young Gryffindors, and both followed her during their ascent to the Headmasters office.

Once they reached the familiar room, Minerva made her way to the desk, and leaned back on it with her arms comfortably clasped in front of her, "Now, we have an important matter to discuss. There has been reports of – "

"- Death Eaters? Yeah, we know. That's partly why we are here, "Harry nodded.

Minerva's expression was stern, but concerned, "I hope you realise that they will likely try and target you, Potter? You must take extreme precautions. We all do."

"We read about it this morning in _The Daily Prophet_. So, it's true?" Hermione asked.

The professor nodded with a small sigh, "I'm afraid so. It is uncertain how many of them there are, but I daresay enough to be a problem. The Aurors are trying to hunt them down as we speak."

"Has anyone been attacked?" Harry asked.

"Not that I am aware of. But I'm sure it's only a matter of time until they take action. Potter, do you have a safehouse?"

"Well, not really. Grimmauld Place was compromised, but it has not been re-warded yet. It's not safe enough. We haven't been in there for months. Molly asked me to stay at the Burrow, but honestly, I don't want to put them in anymore danger."

"Then Potter, I suggest you remain here at Hogwarts and stay within these walls under my watch. It now has all the necessary magical protections in place. Miss Granger, you are also most welcome to stay…to at least try and keep Mr. Potter here out of trouble. That is, until the situation has been taken care of, "Minerva asked, "I'll send word to Arthur and Molly, so they will not worry. "

Hermione looked at Harry, and both of them nodded.

"That takes us to our next problem, Professor, "Harry drew in a deep breath and looked at Hermione once again. He turned back to McGonagall. "Snape's hiding on the grounds."

Minerva dropped her hands and stood up. Her expression was shocked, " _Here_? At Hogwarts?" Her eyes darted to both Hermione and Harry.

"A few days after the battle, I found him seeking refuge at the Shrieking Shack. He was in bad shape. I don't think he knows about the Death Eaters…They could be after him."

"You do realise, that the Ministry are _also_ after him? Potter, he is a wanted man. His actions during the war were indeed heroic, but the Ministry will still want to interrogate him for his crimes. "

"You have to help him, Professor. Please, "Harry pleaded, "I know you have mixed feelings about him, and what he did. I mean, so do I. But I wouldn't have defeated Voldemort, if Snape didn't share those memories showing me what I needed to do. What he did, was for the greater good. You _know_ him, Professor. Help me, help him. We owe him that much."

"Harry is right, Professor, "Hermione chimed in, "We can't just…Leave him for dead. After all, Dumbledore trusted him until the end."

Minerva pursed her lips together in thought, Her blue eyes tired and wary. "I drove him away from the castle, and I knew I'd have to face him eventually."

"He deceived everyone, Professor. Even Voldemort, "Hermione spoke softly. "It's okay to feel guilty. I'm sure he's feeling just as worse."

"How very noble of you, Miss Granger, "Minerva smiled sadly, as she looked to the both of them, "I'll do what I can, but if the Ministry finds out and intervenes, there will not be much else that I can do."

Harry nodded, "Thank you, Professor. I know he won't listen to me, but with you…"

"Good _heavens_ , I'm going to _put_ that man in his place, "Minerva said, sarcastically. "Does anyone else know about him?"

Harry shook his head.

"Good. We best be sure to keep it that way. Now, lead me to him." Minerva instructed, as she flourished her hand towards the office door.

The two young Gryffindors let Minerva McGonagall out of the castle and towards the Whomping Willow as quickly as they could. Minerva stopped in her tracks when she saw the looming deadly branches of the dangerous tree overhead. Clearly, she was unaware of how to subdue the tree, but she watched with amusement when Harry tapped a spot of the tree with his wand, as the tree snapped back to its usual stationary position. Once the opening was clear, they made their way inside with much haste.

Harry led the way through the narrow tunnel leading towards the Shrieking Shack, with his _Lumos_ -lit wand lighting the way. They stepped through cautiously to avoid making any startling noises. Once they reached the entrance, they slowly descended the old staircase leading to the topmost floor. Minerva looked around the aged and dusty house, but her wand outstretched in caution. Harry walked ahead with careful steps, keeping on high alert for the ex-Potions professor.

"Snape?" Harry whispered. When there was no answer, he continued ahead and entered the room with the piano. The room seemed darker that he last left it. He noticed the windows had been sealed further with panels of wood – presumably taken from elsewhere. It was even more difficult to breath, as dust and mothballs seemed to hang in the air. It was rather unpleasant.

He also noticed that the room had been re-arranged. Damaged. The piano, as he noticed, was in pieces on the wooden floor. The old torn couch overturned, with visible scorch marks on its surface. He turned to find the bed also in ruins, with all the bedding torn in pieces on the floor. There were shards of glass scattered across the room, and Harry noticed the unmistaken scent of old firewhiskey filling the suffocating air.

This was not an attack. Much to Harry's relief. But he could not help but feel nauseated from the worry building up inside him. It has been days since he last left the man during his narrow brush with death…again. And he was in a bad enough state the last he left him, and Harry could not help but feel fearful and guilty. He should not have listened to him and approached McGonagall sooner. As much as he was at odds with the man, he most certainly would not forgive himself if something were to happen to him. As much as Harry would not like to admit it…he felt responsible for him.

Harry felt a light tug on his sleeve and turned to look at Hermione. She looked mortified, as she nudged at Harry to the far side of the room. In the corner, was a mass of black robes leaning against the wall. It was hard to see at first, as the room was so incredibly dark, that even _Lumos_ could not illuminate all places. The man shifted slightly in his uncomfortable position, not fully realising the extra three guests in the room. Beside him, were two large bottles of Firewhisky. One empty and shattered on the floor, and one barely touched. Harry figured he must have used the Cloak to steal them from somewhere. He looked at the sunken form of his ex-teacher against the wall and wondered to himself why he stayed so long at The Burrow. He really did not consider anything like this to happen.

Once Minerva McGonagall followed their gaze, she raced to the man's side and knelt beside him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and nudged him gently. Severus Snape was barely awake and seemed to be staring off into the distance. He appeared dazed and disconnected. Surely that could not have been the after-effects of the firewhisky?

"Severus. Severus, please, "McGonagall prodded him gently a few more times, "Oh good _heavens_ , what have you done to yourself?"

Snape stirred and blinked several times, as if allowing for his eyes to focus. The man squinted as Harry and Hermione drew nearer with their wands lit. He turned slowly to look at Minerva, and his face contorted to dread. He also noticed the other two Gryffindors in the room. "Potter, I _specifically_ told you not to alert anyone. I don't require a bloody audience." His voice was hoarse. Almost as if he had been yelling so much that he lost some of his voice.

"Severus, you are ill-equipped to be on your own at this time. What the _devil_ are you doing hiding in here?" Minerva asked.

"Staying away."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. Potter was concerned for you and notified me. Here, let us get you up off the floor, "Minerva squeezed the man's arm, but he made no move. Frustrated, she threw her arms up in exasperation, "I'm an old woman. Don't make me drag you up."

Much to their mild amusement, Harry and Hermione took that as their cue to assist the man in a standing position. Snape did not say a word, but the mumbles and growls of frustration emanating from him spoke volumes. Minerva turned around at the state of the room and flourished her wand gracefully several times. Almost immediately, the furniture began to repair and re-arrange themselves back to their original state. Splintered wood from the walls and floor began to knit themselves back together. The couch and sofa chairs flipped themselves gently on the spot and slid across the floor into its original place. The piano was finally restored, and the broken glass now melted back together.

Harry and Hermione half-dragged the man to the restored couch and placed him down gently. Minerva settled herself beside her ex-colleague and peered upon his wary gaze. Harry had never seen the woman looked so concerned in the years he has known her. He could not imagine what she must be feeling at this moment. They were not just colleagues. They were friends. Close friends, even despite the house rivalry. Minerva taught young Severus when he began at Hogwarts. All those years she has known him, only now to face a man so broken and defeated. She drove him out of the castle, not knowing at the time that it was Dumbledore he was truly loyal to.

She kept a gentle hand on the man's back, "We must get you back to the castle. We have reason to believe that you may be in danger."

Snape frowned and glanced at the elderly woman, "If you tell me Lord Voldemort is back again, I may as well go and get myself splinched."

"Oh _heavens_ \- no, "Minerva said sternly, "There were reports of surviving Death Eaters re-grouping. They were reported at your residence. Not all of them were captured and sent to Azkaban after the battle."

Severus Snape pinched the bridge of his nose in mild frustration, "They plan to retaliate, even despite their dwindled numbers. They will not hide for long. "

"You do realise that you would be high up on their target list?"

"Let them."

Minerva was shocked, "Are you hearing yourself, Severus?"

"Very clearly. I'd rather them finish me off, than have me thrown into Azkaban by the Ministry. "

"Don't be absurd! We will not let that happen. Minister Shacklebolt will see to it that you are protected. He has always supported you. You will not end up in Azkaban."

"Don't be so sure of that, Minerva."

"I'll testify to the Wizengamot myself."

"I deserve to be punished. Do not harbor me within Hogwarts as a criminal – I'll only put you in unnecessary danger. "

"You are not a _criminal_ , Severus! You had to do terrible things. I know that now. I had only wished I knew before…" Minerva looked saddened. She paused and placed her other hand gently on Severus' forearm. "Why…Oh, why didn't you confide in me? I would have understood. I – "

"– There was nothing you could do. The less I told, the safer they would be, "Severus lowered his voice, "Albus requested I keep it between us. That _wretched_ fool…"

Minerva's bright blue eyes began to water, "Severus, I called you a _coward_. I am deeply hurt by what I said to you out of anger. I _drove_ you from the castle…Could you ever forgive me?"

Severus drew in a deep breath, and looked at Minerva with tired dark eyes, "Of course I will. I know you could never completely forgive me for the things I've done, but I offer you my deepest apology, Minerva. For everything."

Minerva smiled, "You've done well, Severus." The woman looked at the young Gryffindors, as they watched the little exchange with deep empathy. "As for you two, once we get back to the castle, I will send word to the Weasley's, so they needn't worry where you are. I sent the last of the wayward students home yesterday evening, so we can at least keep Severus hidden until we can find a solution."

Severus gave a _hmfph_ at the demand. Minerva shot him a look of warning. "Oh, don't be stubborn. You'll be safer at Hogwarts, _not_ here."

"May I suggest I do a lapse of the grounds and make sure our defences are in check?" Severus asked the new Headmistress.

Minerva was taken aback. Her expression was almost comical. "You most certainly will not! _Stay_ within the castle. Good _heavens_ , you are terrible. You are almost on par with Mr Potter the rule-breaker. I may have to assign Miss Granger to keep a watch on you two."

Harry sniggered, and Snape immediately shot him and Hermione both a warning glare. If it were one person who could joke about Snape and get away with it, it was their Gryffindor Head of House. She was strict and fair, but she had an incredible dry sense of humour. Harry often wondered about their camaraderie and noticed that they always seemed to pair up in dire times of danger in the years leading up to Voldemort's last stand. Even so, he was always amused by their civil rivalry in the House Cup and Quidditch throughout the school year. Despite the playful competition, Harry had never seen them argue. And that was a relief.

Harry retrieved his Invisibility Cloak which he found nestled upon the piano chair and handed it to Snape once again. The man took it without hesitation this time. "Looks like you'll be needing this a lot more than I will."

Minerva smiled at Harry, as she rose from the chair along with Snape, "Wonderful idea. Now, I want the three of you to remain within the castle walls…And Severus, no more firewhisky for you. I must request that you re-stock the Potions supplies and ready-made potions. Much of the supplies were damaged during the battle…Horace wasn't able to replenish them."

Severus Snape frowned at Minerva, "I was under the impression that my services to the school were forfeited?"

"Yes, when I drove you away. I have now been appointed Headmistress by the new Minister, and I would very much request that you stay. Once we can clear your name officially, that is."

Snape clasped his hands behind his back, as the four of them began to make their way downstairs. "Well, perhaps I can _finally_ take the blasted position of Defence Against the Dark Arts permanently, now that the position's hex has now been lifted."

Harry shook his head in confusion, "So wait. You knew the position was cursed? And you still took the position last year?"

Snape stopped in his tracks and turned to the young Gryffindor without a word, hoping that he would understand the reasoning behind it without him attempting to explain it.

"Oh! Well, of _course_ …Dumbledore knew, didn't he? He asked you to take it," Hermione exclaimed in revelation. "He knew that you'd…" Hermione's face fell in horror. "Oh, I'm sorry professor."

Snape nodded grimly, "Precisely."

Harry bit his lip – So Dumbledore knew all along. Well, that explained why he consistently refused him taking the position every year. Until last year, that is. It was a running joke within the school, and they presumed Dumbledore did it out of spite and amusement. The Headmaster knew that it was going to be Snape's last year…The thought alone was sickening. That was a cruel act, even for Dumbledore. And Snape knew it, too. Harry felt terrible that he thought it was a joke.

Minerva was just as horrified by that new fact, "Remind me to yell at Albus' portrait when I return." They made their way down the old staircase, and the woman continued, "Besides, I offered Harry a position at the school, should he choose to return in the near future. Isn't that a wonderful idea, Severus? "The woman shot Harry a smirk. Harry's eyes widened at the idea, but even more amused that the Headmistress anticipated Snape to be annoyed by that.

"What?!" Snape stopped in his tracks again. This time he looked livid.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts. Rather fitting, don't you think? I will _eventually_ need a new Head of Gryffindor."

Snape's face seemed to lose colour, "I will not be demoted by this Gryffindor, Minerva. And I refuse to be stuck teaching Potions again."

"Oh, _lighten_ up, Severus, "Minerva smiled, "You had Potter perform so poorly in Potions, that you can't expect me to give him that position?"

Frustratingly, Severus Snape threw the Cloak over himself as they reached the tunnel entrance of the Shrieking Shack. The four of them made their way through.

"It's alright, Professor McGonagall. I'm still yet to go back and complete my seventh year. I won't be doing any of the sort for a long while yet, "Harry ran his hand through his messy hair, feeling Snape's seething gaze with the idea of being colleagues to the Chosen One he spent years antagonizing. Harry was not all that bothered with the idea. Snape on the other hand, would be hating it with a passion. It was hard to imagine them working together by any capacity.

Hermione smiled at Harry, "Another year? After everything, I didn't think you'd _want_ to come back."

Harry shrugged, "Initially, I didn't think so too. But I'd actually like to finish the year. Proper, this time. At least I can enjoy a school year where I'm not marked for death."

Minerva shot a look at Harry, "Oh, Potter. You and Severus have the same morbid sense of humour."

"I am still here, Minerva." Snape stated, in his usual monotone voice. He sounded annoyed. Harry, once again, forgot Snape was now under the Cloak. But now Harry seemed slightly offended by that comparison.

They finally reached outside, and each one withdrew their wands immediately in defence. Knowing that some of the Death Eaters fled after the battle, it was a matter of time until they found their way back to Hogwarts once again to finish the job their dark master started. Harry's hair prickled on end – They were now being hunted again. Harry thought he was done with this; that it was all finally over. His life, in danger, once again. And he was absolutely tired of it. Tired of being a target. Tired of running and fighting. Tired of trying to _survive_. What would it take to finally have a normal life? It's like sacrificing his life was barely enough – And he meant that in a literal sense.

Once they made their way to the castle, Minerva cast her feline Patronus, and sent a message to Minister Shacklebolt notifying him of Harry's protection within the castle. Snape walked off without a word, as he removed the Cloak, and disappeared down towards the dungeons once again with much haste. Harry and Hermione left the Headmistress and made their way towards the now-empty Gryffindor tower, and settled themselves down within the Common room by the fireplace.

They would have to tell Ron about finding Snape sooner or later. Either one hated the idea of keeping that a secret from him, but for now…As Snape mentioned earlier, the less people knew, the safer they would be.


	7. Lament

CHAPTER 7: Lament

Harry had barely slept that night.

Actually, he barely slept well at all since the fall of Voldemort not too long ago. It is not like he woke up consistently in a cold sweat like he used to when his scar posed a problem, but now it is like he now struggles to even close his eyes. Often, he would lie awake for hours, pondering so many things that kept his mind active to the point of severe unrest. He would lie awake thinking about the events of the battle, and how he was still even here after everything. Every place they visited, every face they saw – etched into his mind. Including those who he lost. Who they _all_ lost. It was vivid, and yet it stirred so many emotions for him upon waking up. It was hard to believe that barely a week ago, he looked upon the bodies of his fallen friends. His _family_. Lupin and Tonks, as they died so close together. Fred Weasley, as he died fighting alongside his family. Hedwig, as she sacrificed herself for him. Alistair Moody, as he died ensuring Harry's safety. Lavender Brown, as she was murdered by Fenrir Greyback. Dobby, as he sacrificed his life to save them from Malfoy Manor.

How could Harry rest with the souls of the dead resting on his conscious? How could he sleep, when the horrors of that battle plagued his mind even during every waking minute? He could not bring himself to tell Molly that he was a burden to the family, and that _he_ was the reason her son was dead. He could not bring himself to face Teddy as he was the reason both of his parents were dead. He could not bring himself to face his friends, because they all suffered because of him. Hermione had to wipe the memories of her parents just to protect them and accompany Harry during his journey of finding the Horcrux's. Ron left his family to join Harry, even if he was against the idea. He left Ginny, Neville and Luna at Hogwarts while they were terrorized and tortured by the Carrows stationed at the school.

Harry was not strong enough to deal with this. Every day he has been trying to put on a brave face, even for Hermione. But he could sense even her difficulties in dealing with him. Harry felt like a failure. Now here he was, hiding once again. A fight that just never seems to end. Harry was tired. Tired of it all. Tired of running. Tired of being a target.

He defeated the darkest wizard of all time, and yet he still feels like he lost.

The following morning, Harry and Hermione ate breakfast in the Gryffindor Common Room. Much to Hermione's protests, Harry summoned some of the few House Elves still present at the school and requested breakfast within their room. At this point, there were only a few House Elves within the school grounds, as school technically has not resumed, so there were less students and staff to provide for. They were saddened to discover that there had been a few casualties, but most survived unscathed, and the remaining were more than ecstatic to be serving at Hogwarts once again.

Once they were content, they found themselves wandering alone through the deserted corridors seeking some kind of purpose. The Headmistress wanted them safe within their walls. But for how long? If it was one thing that frustrated Harry, was the feeling of being helpless. He did not like being a sitting duck or waiting for someone else to do a job for him. He was not that kind of a person. Hermione could sense his agitation, and she tried her best to make sure he did not go running senselessly into danger.

Eventually, Harry led Hermione to the Astronomy Tower. He needed somewhere to clear his head, even though this place bubbled a mixture of feelings for him. Like Dumbledore, he was always fond of this part of the castle. But it was also a place of terrible memories of the night he and Dumbledore disappeared in search for the locket Horcrux, which was also the night Dumbledore died and fell off the edge of the tower. It was hard to remember that the Dark Mark was also cast overhead by the Death Eaters smuggled in by Draco Malfoy that night. Echoes of Fawkes' lament still played within his mind.

Hermione sniffled, and Harry turned around to find a single tear streaking down her cheek. Once she realised Harry had noticed, she hastily brushed it away, "I'm sorry Harry. It is just hard to believe, isn't it? The three of us were here last year discussing leaving Hogwarts in search of the remaining Horcruxes."

Harry nodded, as he leaned on the railings and glanced at the morning sky. The Black Lake glistened in the distance. It was so serene…Quiet. Peaceful, yet eerie. "Yeah. A lot has happened. Everything's changed."

"McGonagall will have to hold the memorial service until this new problem is dealt with. They need to be laid to rest in peace, "Hermione drew in a deep breath, and turned to Harry. "What are you going to do about Teddy?"

At first Harry looked at her in confusion. The memories of war flashing within his mind and had distracted him from figuring out who Teddy was. Gosh, how could he forget? Remus Lupin had asked him to be Teddy's Godfather. The young Gryffindor was too overwhelmed with the recent losses, and it had barely come to his mind that Teddy had lost both of his parents in the war. Much like he had. Currently Teddy was staying with his grandmother Andromeda, but there will have to be a time where Harry would have to be in his life. On the memory of Remus' life - He promised him that much.

But Harry was worried. He was not ready to be a parent in any form. Not now, not yet. He had just survived a war where he had to – _literally_ – sacrifice his own life. He could barely keep himself together, let alone giving up what he had to care for a child. That could not be normal for a seventeen-year old. Especially if that teenager was the Chosen One…or _was_. A young man who risked every year of his life in danger from a sorcerer - A dark entity barely distinguished as a man. Now Harry was asked to care for a child.

He gritted his teeth as he struggled to subdue his wandering mind.

Harry clasped the railings tightly until his knuckles turned white, trying to come to terms with the current turmoil of his dilemma, "I – I don't know, Hermione. I _really_ don't know. I'm not exactly fit to be a parent right now, am I? I'm not sure if Remus was in his right mind when he asked me. Surely there has got to be someone else out there more capable than I am to be his Godfather."

"He wouldn't have asked you, if he didn't have faith in you. "

"It's just – I don't know if I can deal with that right now. Not now. Not yet. Right now, Teddy is safer with his grandmother. That's better than I can ever hope for."

"At least he still has family, and Andromeda will be able to raise him in a loving environment."

"He definitely has a better chance than I ever did."

"It'll be alright, Harry."

Harry sighed in frustration, "Everyone keeps saying that. Everything is not going to be okay. Not for a long while. Now we have more Death Eaters to worry about. It just _never_ ends."

Hermione looked at Harry sadly, "I know. I just want to help, but I don't know how."

Shamefully, he lowered his head, feeling bad for himself, "I know. I'm sorry I've been so…agitated lately. But I'm really glad you're here. I haven't been doing anyone any good. I'm not exactly pleasant company these days. Half the time I just stare off into space. I can barely focus anymore."

"You've been through a lot, Harry. I know we all have, but you _especially_. You need to give yourself time. You seem to forget that you defeated Voldemort only a week ago."

"This just feels like one big nightmare that I can't wake up from."

"I know, "Hermione swung her arm over Harry's shoulder's, and they stood there for a few moments staring out into the distance. "Maybe I can convince Ron and Ginny to stay with us here, and help keep you company?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Maybe tomorrow. For now, I kind of just want a quiet day."

Hermione nodded in understanding, "Alright, Harry."

They turned to finally leave the Astronomy tower and made their way down to the lower floors of the castle. Once they turned down the corridor leading towards the Headmaster's office, they noticed Snape storming out of the entrance, and strided down the corridor with his all too familiar look of pure malice. Something had happened in that office, and Snape was clearly not pleased. He flew passed Harry without even a glance, not even to shoot him a look of warning. He looked directly ahead, not even daring to look in their direction. That was unlike him at all.

That was not the first time Harry noticed him avert his gaze from him. The same thing happened earlier that morning when he and Hermione made their way to the Astronomy Tower. They did not think much it at first, but Snape had walked right on by without a word, or without a glance. Now it happened again in exactly the same way, and he couldn't help feeling that he was doing that on purpose.

"Harry – I think Snape's avoiding you, "Hermione whispered, once Snape disappeared from view.

"What makes you say that?" Well, Harry had several reasons, but he was more curious with Hermione's observations and honest perspective. He was too wary to think by himself this point.

"It's obvious, isn't it? He's angry at you."

"Yeah, what's new? He has always been angry with me."

"Don't you see? For one, he is angry because you told McGonagall about him. Secondly, he likely still feels wrecked with guilt about everything."

Harry shrugged, "Yeah, well I had to tell her – You agreed that I should. Besides, what else can I do? Its Snape – I best let him be moody on his own. He'll figure it out."

"Harry, that is a terrible attitude to have. The man saved your life!"

Harry threw his hands up in the air in defeat, "I can't do a damn thing! He won't listen to me, Hermione. I don't know what you are expecting. He and I are not friends."

"Clearly. But you can at least try and make amends with him. Might help you feel less guilty. Him, too."

"Maybe I should ask Ron what he thinks."

"Frankly, Ron would probably tell Snape to shove it." Hermione sighed, "Are you even glad that's back? That he survived?"

Harry was rather stunned by the question. Was he? "I don't wish him dead, if that's what you mean. I don't wish anyone dead."

"I only say this because I know you are conflicted. You make it sound like you don't care, and yet you already put this much effort into making sure he was okay. "

"Well then, maybe I do. To an extent."

"Then Harry, don't pretend to be heartless. I know he has always treated you poorly, but he had his own reasons to. You've both suffered enough. He is, essentially, the last magical tie to your mother. Perhaps you could consider finding out more about her. He has no more reasons to keep things from you now."

Harry bit his lip, "I could. I just – I don't know what I want from him. He didn't expect to live, and frankly, neither did I."

"I keep telling you that you have more in common with each other than you think. I _know_ you feel awkward about it all – But, this is a chance to be better and do better. We all have the capacity to change. "

Harry nodded. She was right, as usual. "Maybe."

His thoughts were suddenly distracted by delicate wisps of light dancing in the air beside him. It was a Patronus in the form of a cat. The cat pounced in the air and hovered at eye level with both Gryffindors. Initially, the Patronus stared at each of them, but it suddenly began to transmit a familiar voice.

"Mr. Potter. Miss Granger. Please come and see me in the Headmaster's office immediately." It was Minerva McGonagall. Once the message was delivered, the Patronus faded away and disappeared.

Harry and Hermione doubled back to the corridor and made their way up to the Headmaster's office. Once they entered the office doors, they were greeted by five new faces, along with McGonagall perched at her desk and Kingsley Shacklebolt beside her in his familiar turquoise gown.

Kingsley greeted Harry with a warm smile and bowed his head in acknowledgement, "Ah, Harry Potter. Hermione Granger. I had hoped the next time I saw you, would not be to deliver somewhat grim news. Minerva previously informed me of your safety within Hogwarts grounds. It is imperative that you abide by this request until we can fully eradicate the imposing danger."

"You can't expect me to be stuck in here until then?" Harry eclaimed.

"I understand your frustration…After everything, we had hoped for a finite resolution. But the Death Eaters are resilient and cunning. They will not miss an opportunity to attack you, thus, they still pose a dangerous threat on your life." Kinsley could sense Harry's frustration, "I know this is difficult for you, Harry. But I assure you that we are taking extra measures to ensure this is dealt with swiftly and quickly. We hope to have Hogwarts running for the next school year, but we cannot do that until this is dealt with."

Harry nodded, and looked around the room to see the other familiar faces. He shook his head, "Minister, I don't want to have bodyguards following me around."

Kingsley gave a small laugh, "I know you wouldn't. I have assigned a group of Aurors hand-picked by myself, and lead by Rowan Locke here, " The Minister beckoned towards a short, but stern looking man with a tussled moustache and shoulder-length wavy ash-coloured hair pinned back neatly. He wore a lengthy-cut maroon suit with cream-colored embellishments on his gown. He looked like a serious man, not one to be trifled with. The man gave a curt nod. "Rowan will be assigning each to scout the grounds and the boundaries of this castle in rotation, along with regular sweeps within these walls. We must take no further chances."

"Mr. Potter, it is crucial that you allow them to do their job. The sooner they can detain them, the safer we will all feel. In the meantime, under no circumstances, do you leave these grounds. Am I making myself clear?" Minerva McGonagall peered at Harry sternly over her reading glasses.

Harry nodded, "Okay, Professor." He knew very well he wouldn't.

"One other thing before I leave – If you by any chance have word on Severus Snape's whereabouts, it must be reported directly to me. I realise his situation is rather sensitive, but as an ex-Death Eater, he is still wanted by the Wizengamot to be tried for his crimes. By law, he _must_ be put on trial. I'll have you aware that not everyone is in support of his actions, "Kingsley explained.

"But he helped me defeat Voldemort by giving me crucial information. He spent every year protecting me. He gave up everything just to see him defeated. That can't be fair, "Harry answered back.

Kingsley bowed his head, "As I said, his situation is sensitive. When we detain him, I'll be sure to give him a fair trial. Harry, I have always had a measure of trust for him, as I also trusted on Albus' word. But now as Minister, I cannot be biased. He must be judged fairly and by law. I cannot simply let him go."

"We will do our best to keep an eye out for him, Kingsley, "Minerva answered. "Thank you."

"I'll do what I can, Minerva. Please take caution, "Kingsley bowed his head again, and turned to walk out of the office with his Aurors trailing behind him. Once they disappeared from view and earshot, Minerva turned back to Harry with a look of worry.

"Harry, having Severus here is not a wise decision. If they find him – "Minerva looked stricken.

"- We'll try not to let that happen, Professor, "Hermione said. "If we need to, we'll take him back to the Shrieking Shack and hide him there. "

"He did suggest that, earlier. He is aware of our new guests, but it was the Minister's idea. He means well, so I couldn't refuse the offer. Severus is furious about the additional Aurors on our grounds." Minerva sighed. "What else could I do? I can only hope they do not find him. Severus is also a wanted man. The evidence will stack against him, and he will most likely end up in Azkaban regardless of his final good deeds to the wizarding community. "

Harry sighed, "We'll do what we can." He turned to make his way out, and Hermione followed suite.

Harry couldn't fathom why so many Aurors were necessary to be stationed here at Hogwarts. It just seemed to be counter-productive, where their efforts could be spent out there searching for the Death Eaters. The thought of being forced to sit on his hands playing the waiting game was beginning to make Harry feel agitated. Perhaps that was also part of Kingsley's plan. To station enough Aurors to keep an eye on Harry and try and prevent him from running out into danger. They could not expect him to do nothing. Harry wanted to finally end this, and instead they were in hiding. Yet again. Everyone knows that Harry cannot sit idly by while Death Eaters are planning an attack. He wondered if the Ministry even bothered to station Aurors at The Burrow. Surely Kingsley would have thought of that. He refused to put the Weasley's in any more danger. They had all been through enough because of him.

Both Harry and Hermione wondered back to the Gryffindor Common Room and settled there for the afternoon. Once Harry sat down, he pulled out the Marauder's Map, and activated it with his wand. He watched as the map sprang to life – Ink work slowly appearing, outlining every inch of Hogwarts on every floor. He could see every room, and every hidden pathway from the castle, including every statue that indicated a point of interest. With the map now activated, moving images began to appear. Footsteps, as indicated by the tagged name, allowed Harry to keep track of who was around. It surely came in handy during his previous years, but this time, he had only a few names to keep an eye on. Minerva McGonagall was still at the Headmasters office, seated at her desk. The Auror Rowan Locke was wandering the third corridor; With another Raphael Rosenhold scouting the seventh floor. The three remaining Aurors – Dawn Rheingold, Edward Blackmore and Gilderoy Gibbins were observed to be station around the exterior of the castle. Hagrid was seen at his hut – Much to his relief. Filch was pacing the second floor. And Severus Snape was in the dungeons in one of the private potion's labs.

"What are you looking for, Harry?" Hermione noticed Harry staring with interest at the map. She looked concerned, "You're not _seriously_ considering sneaking out of the grounds, are you?"

"I'm not. Just keeping track of who is here, "Harry placed the map on the table beside them, and began to point to various sections, "See here. The map doesn't extend past the start of the Forbidden Forest. If those Death Eaters were to suddenly show up, we'll know. "

"We don't know where they are, Harry. They could be _anywhere_. All we can do, is wait for more information. It's not over yet, "Hermione pleaded. "They'll want to come after you, and they wouldn't pass up the opportunity to do it. I thought after everything we've been through…you'd finally stop running into danger."

With a determined look, Harry glanced up at Hermione, "I want them found and captured, so we can move on with our lives, Hermione. Don't you want this all to stop, too?"

"I do, but not by risking our _lives_ again!" Hermione was furious but then she noticed Harry's hands were shaking. When she finally looked up at his face, she was alarmed at what she saw. Harry's breathing had elevated, and his usually sunken pale cheeks were flushed with crimson. She noticed how dark his eyes looked; They were not as bright as they usually were. The dark bags under his eyes told her more than she needed to know. With a concerned expression, she placed her hand on Harry's arm in an attempt to calm him down. Her voice was soft and gentle. "Harry, listen to me. _Please_ listen. I know you've been having difficulties dealing with…everything. I can see it has been affecting you deeply, and I'm very worried. We all are. You're obviously not sleeping well, and you've been avoiding…well, everyone. I'm not saying you can't take time for yourself. But for extensive periods of time…It's not healthy. "

"How else am I supposed to deal with this? I can't sleep without seeing the faces of the people we lost, and those killed right in front of us. I can't relax when I blame myself for it all – "Harry choked back those last words. He shook his head. He really was going mad. His eyes welled up with tears, and he felt Hermione clasped his hands in hers. "Now with all of this happening, everyone is in danger again."

"It'll take time, Harry. We are still dealing with the aftermath. We'll get through it together."

"I'm _really_ struggling, Hermione. I didn't think this was going to hit me this badly. I just don't feel that anyone can really _help_ me. Especially like this. People are offering to help, but I notice them walking on eggshells around me. Like I'm going to explode, or something. I think I scare people."

Hermione looked shocked, "Oh, Harry. You don't _scare_ anyone. If anything, we are scared _for_ you. We genuinely want to help. We can't take your pain away, but we can at least be there to make it easier."

"You should be there with Ron. Not me. "

"Right now, my best friend needs me. So that's where I'll be, "Hermione gave Harry a small smile, as she squeezed his hands. "Besides, he'll understand."

"I hope so."

"I have an idea. You may not like it, but I think it'll help." Hermione shifted in her seat, "I was thinking we go down to the potions lab and see if Professor Snape can give you a Calming Draught and a Dreamless Sleep potion – "

"- I'm _really_ not in the mood to be going down there right now, Hermione."

"It will really help give you some kind of relief tonight. Besides, we can use the Map to avoid Aurors so we won't be seen going there. We'll go together – I'm not letting you out of my sight. "

Harry sighed, "Fine. Okay. Whatever. "He was really too tired to argue at this point. His heart was still racing, and he could really do with something to take that edge off.

Hermione pulled Harry off the couch in the Common Room and lead him out of the tower and further down to the lower floors of the dungeons. Harry regretted giving Snape his Invisibility Cloak at this point, but that could not be helped. For now, he had the map, and that was as good as being invisible as he was ever going to get. It was drawing nearer to the evening, and he knew at this point the sun had already disappeared from the horizon. The dungeons were always a peculiar place. They were situated so low, that is was beneath the Black Lake. Some of the windows in the dungeons peered out into the lake, and Harry always seemed to find that fascinating. It usually cast a green glow on parts of the dungeons, which really was quite fitting for the Slytherins whose common room resided here. Once the sun did start to set, the green glow would disappear, and it would be dark and murky, and only illuminated by the torches which lined the corridors.

They finally found themselves at the Potions classrooms. There were usually several of them – Ranging from the larger rooms for the First and Second years, to the smaller rooms where the sixth and seventh years would take their class. Then, there were the smaller private labs, usually where Severus Snape would brew his own supplies, or some of the older students would take one of the private rooms for practice. The pair started to peer into each of the classrooms as they walked, not finding the dark-cloaked man anywhere. Hermione, still grasping Harry at this point, redirected him to the private rooms until they found who they were looking for.

Hermione released the breath she did not realise she had held, and gently knocked on the door to the private lab. The door was slightly ajar, and saw the man moving swiftly from each bubbling potions set on the table before him. When the man did not hear the first time, she knocked again, "Professor Snape…Sir."

Harry suddenly felt anxious. He really did not want to be here. He heard the man sigh, and watched as he gently set down the pestle he was using to crush an ingredient. He turned around slowly to find the two young Gryffindors at his door.

"Surely you both have better things to do with your time." The man looked stressed. Harry noticed his gaze averted his own, and yet he was able to look at Hermione with intimidation as if she were still sitting in his class.

"Sir – I was wondering, "Hermione looked at Harry quickly, then back at the slightly furious looking man, "Um…I was _hoping_ , actually, if you had any available Calming Draughts, or Dreamless Sleep Potions prepared…Or anything else that may help."

Snape peered down warily at the young woman, making Hermione feel slightly uncomfortable. He gazed quickly at Harry, turned on his heel to the far side of the room and opened the tall glass cabinet. Hermione and Harry walked in the room slightly hesitant and watched carefully as the man sifted through tiny vials of multi-coloured liquids. Each one labelled and dated.

There was an uncomfortable silence as he did this. Harry looked at Hermione with a look of helplessness on his face – he was anxious. Harry found himself fidgeting with the hem of his jacket and trying his best to calm his still racing heart. His eyes darted from Snape, to the potion's ingredients littering the table, and then found a fixture on the wall to stare at. Eventually, Snape pulled out several vials, and made his way to the duo.

He gently lifted up the small rounded vial of azure blue liquid, and handed it directly to Hermione, "Calming Draught. I presume you know the correct dosage?"

Hermione nodded confidently, "Two drops, sublingually."

Snape nodded, "Precisely." His eyes darted quickly to Harry, who was still staring off to the wall. Snape frowned slightly and turned his attention back to Hermione. He handed her another slightly smaller vial – This time with a liquid of deep plum purple.

"And that would be the Dreamless Sleep potion. Half a teaspoon half an hour before bed."

Snape nodded curtly, "Very good, Miss Granger. "This time he pulled up a third vial and held it up, showing its pearly sheen liquid. Something that Hermione could not recognise. Snape noticed her scrunch up her brows in confusion and handed the vial to her. "Take this. It is a…personal brew of mine. _Animo_ _Silentium_. Or, Mind Cleansing elixir. Three drops of this, when you feel your mind is…too chaotic. It will work well with both potions I have given you. "

Hermione turned the new vial in her hand, studying its contents with interest. She looked up at the man with a grateful smile, "This is brilliant, Professor. Thank you."

Snape's eyes darted back to Harry once more, and noticed Harry still avoiding his gaze. "Potter."

Hermione looked back at Harry and gave him a slight nudge. "Harry."

Harry had been staring off into space ever since he walked into the potion's lab. He just could not focus or pay attention to what was happening. He barely remembered why he was even here, and for some reason he felt so…disconnected. His heart was still racing in his chest, and he did not even know why. It is not that the man made his nervous. Usually quite the opposite, in fact. He also knew the man had been avoiding him ever since they smuggled him back into Hogwarts. Maybe Harry felt like he was intruding on the man's life. Or second life – whatever _life_ you wanted to call this. Harry just felt like such a damn burden. Hermione should not be going through this trouble just for him. He was also surprised Snape did not question the need for the potions – perhaps the man knew that he needed them. He gathered that much from the snippets of the conversation, but he still struggled to focus.

" _Harry_." He felt a nudge again, and this caused Harry to blink several times and look at Hermione. He drew in a slightly shuddering deep breath. He nodded. _What was the question?_

" _Perhaps_ , Mr Potter is in need of a good night's sleep, Miss Granger, "Snape looked at Harry, who was still avoiding his gaze. He stared at the young man, taking in his dulled expression and spaced gaze, enough to remind him of the same expression Luna Lovegood often adopted during his class. Snape noticed him fidgeting with his clothes, and the laboured breathing Harry Potter was now struggling to subdue. Worry started to etch slightly on the man's features. He was clearly not okay.

Hermione nodded sadly; The same worry still etched on her own face. Once she pocketed the vials, she placed her arm over Harry's shoulders, and re-directed him to the door. "I'll be with him. Thank you for the potions, Professor. "

Snape watched as Hermione led Harry out of the laboratory, and down the torch-lit corridors out of the dungeons. Hermione briefly turned back with a look of helplessness, and found the man standing at the door, watching them leave. She could have sworn she noticed the saddest look on the man's face as they left, but it was barely dark enough to notice. She continued on her way, and guided Harry back to Gryffindor Tower.

Neither once of them spoke a word, as she led Harry to his bed in the dormitory. As instructed, she gave Harry the recommended dose of each vial, and watched as he began to finally drift asleep. She found herself slipping into Ron's old bed and nestled there until she finally heard Harry snoring. It took her a while to drift off to sleep herself – She should have asked for an extra set of Potions. But she did not want to take away what Harry needed the most.

Finally, Hermione herself drifted off to sleep.


	8. The Slow Ascent

**NOTE: Hi everyone! So silly me realised I was meant to write this at the start of the previous chapter, but silly me forgot. But I suppose this note could also correspond with this chapter.**

**These last two chapters were a little tricky to write. It is rather difficult to predict how the characters will react to post-event trauma, while trying to be as in-character as possible. I knew Harry would have the most difficult time adjusting, compared to everyone else. And I am still working on trying to convey that a little better from a visual standpoint. He is dealing with some serious C-PTSD right now, and his erratic behaviour is just one of the issues that he is yet to face head-on. Everyone else knows that he is not himself, but Harry does not quite realise the extent of that yet.**

**Hope you guys enjoy this one. Things are going to start kicking up a notch _real_ soon!**

* * *

CHAPTER 8 – The Slow Ascent

Harry Potter woke up with a splitting headache.

Blinking slowly, he waited for the room to stop spinning, but his eyes were hit by sunbeams from the stained-glass window beside his bed. He could sense a shuffle within the room, and a voice sounded in which he could barely make out. Immediately, the curtains were drawn, and his vision began to return. Once he came to, he could make out a figure sitting at the foot of his bed, which startled him.

"It's alright, Harry, "Hermione said gently, as she filled up a glass with a pitcher of water beside him, "Here. You must be parched."

Harry did not speak against that, and gratefully took the glass and downed the liquid in one go. "What time is it?" He looked around blearily and noticed he was still in the Gryffindor dormitory.

"It's just past midday. How are you feeling?"

Harry scratched his head, "Like I've slept for days."

"After the potions we gave you, you fell straight to sleep. You definitely needed the rest."

"We? Who is _we_?"

"I went to take you the potions lab last night and I asked Professor Snape for something to help you relax. You weren't exactly yourself. You don't remember?"

"I dunno. Vaguely. I don't remember much of yesterday afternoon."

"I figured. Did the potions at least help?"

"Yeah, I suppose they did. At least I finally caught up on some sleep and didn't spend hours staring at the ceiling this time. So, it's something."

Hermione nodded, feeling some relief at the thought, "Good. He came to check up on you last night, but you were out cold. "

Harry sat up straight, brow crinkled in confusion, "He did what?"

Hermione drew in a deep breath, "After I took you down to the dungeons, he must have been concerned at the state you were in. He came back here a few hours later to see if you had responded well to the elixirs. "

"…Did he say anything?"

She shook her head, "Not really. He just asked me if they worked, and then…left."

Harry peered at his bedside to find the three potions on his lampstand that he had taken the night before. Admittedly, they worked rather well. He must have been asleep quicker than he ever has since the Battle at Hogwarts, because he barely remembered taking them. He looked over at Hermione who was staring at him in worry. Noticing her frowning, he watched her brown eyes darting from Harry, to the window, then at other points in the room, until she glanced back at him. He knew her well enough – She was holding something back.

"What is it, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, "Hermione responded quickly, but Harry knew she was a terrible liar. Harry glared at her, until she finally spoke, " _Alright_. I just…didn't want to worry you."

"What happened?" Harry swung his legs out of bed and sat on the edge. He realised he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

Hermione bit her lip, "A wizarding family was attacked late last night. By Death Eaters. They burst into their home and had one of the children under the Cruciatus curse. They killed the father, and…" Hermione's eyes welled up with tears, "…They took the mother and child. Apparently, the father had fought in the resistance, and was responsible for the death of one of their own."

Harry buried his head in his hands. _Oh, no no no_. They have started. "Where did you heard about it?"

"It was in _The Daily Prophet_ this morning."

Harry looked up at Hermione, clearly stressed, "They are definitely targeting people. And kidnapping? For leverage? That's not how they usually operate. "

She nodded, "I thought so too. It is probably more for scare tactics if anything. There can't be many of them left, surely."

"Just wonderful. Really, this just keeps getting better, "Harry filled up his water goblet with the pitcher and downed the liquid in one go before finally standing up. He retrieved the Marauders Map at his bedside and activated the magical parchment. He looked at the markers of all the people still within the castle. Good, nothing out of the ordinary as far as he could tell.

"– Harry?"

"Hermione, relax. I'm just checking."

"You can't expect the Death Eaters to just…appear! The Aurors are handling it."

"Are they now? And yet, another family is torn apart. Yeah, they are really doing a brilliant job!"

Hermione looked furious, "HARRY! _What_ has gotten into you?!"

Harry angrily stashed the Map back into his denim jean pocket, "I'm just so sick of this! All of this! How long am I expected to be cooped up here? It could be _months_ until they are dealt with! Now I know how Sirius felt being stuck at Grimmauld Place going stir-crazy!"

"They are doing the best they can. Don't be getting mad at me. It's _not_ my fault!"

"I just want to get back on with my life. Away from…everything. I'm just _done_."

With that, Harry stormed out from Gryffindor Tower, and wandered away with no clear direction in mind. He was livid. Absolutely livid. He did not care for the hurt expression on his best friend's face as he left. He did not even care when the Fat Lady yelled at him for slamming the door on the way out and proceeded to ignore her angry protests. He was half-tempted to give her a piece of his mind, but decided it was not worth wasting the extra energy on a damn portrait. He just wanted out, in some shape or form. He could not bear the thought of more lives being broken apart, tortured, or murdered. He just could not deal with that anymore.

Harry Potter was struggling. He was anxious. He was angry. He was at the end of his tether. He did not care much for his little outburst at Hermione, although he knew he would eventually feel bad about it later. For one, he was glad Ron was not here. He thought he would spare him the decency and allow him time to grieve and mourn with his family. But he was not sure if he could even deal with him right now regardless of this new predicament.

The young Gryffindor wanted to run away. He wanted to escape this madness. He knew he was not okay, but he just could not face it head on right now. There was still so much else to do, that he did not care if he was being unreasonable. Hell, he was barely approachable. He did marvel at Hermione's ability to put up with him, but he already had too much weighing on his mind. The thoughts alone were enough to make him feel like he was suffocating.

He was anxious and knew very well that he was slowly descending into madness.

The young man trailed along the cobblestone corridors of the castle on the sixth floor and found a perch by one of the open windows overlooking the viaduct below. He grasped the stone framework and peered outside into the crisp Spring air, clenching his teeth so strongly that his jaw began to ache. He tried desperately to steady himself and his racing heart. Eventually, he buried his head in his hands, and let out a small sob.

"Calm yourself, Potter."

Startled, Harry looked up and noticed Snape had shifted to stand beside him on his left, just in time to see him remove the Invisibility Cloak. His voice was gentle. Despite his usual snarky demeanour, but it appeared he was careful not to scare to Gryffindor who was clearly having difficulty dealing with his problems. The man looked a little less sullen than before, but still pale. The dressing on his wound still evident, and Harry noticed dried blood which had seeped through the bandage at some point recently. But regardless of that, the man seemed to carry himself differently. Less weight-of-the-world on his shoulders now that he was no longer affiliated with the Death Eaters. But it was noticeable on the man's expression that he seemed more relaxed, which relieved Harry to see. Last thing he needed was to deal with a grumpy Snape.

Slightly alarmed by his new guest, Harry hastily pulled out the Map and felt relieved to find that the Aurors were no-where near their current location.

Snape looked amused when he finally realised what the Map was. "So. That's the function of that _ridiculous_ parchment."

Harry sighed, "How did you find me?"

"I was just…Passing through – "

"- What, following me?"

Snape sighed gently, " _No_ , Potter. I happened to be on my way to see you. I'd be surprised if no one else _heard_ you storm out, albeit the Fat Lady portrait has a voice to wake even the dead."

"I don't need checking up on. Hermione told me you came to see me last night." Harry felt slightly annoyed.

"You may be able to fool others, Potter, but I cannot be fooled."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Snape frowned at the young Gryffindor's use of language, but soon softened his gaze as he lowered his voice, "You are in deep distress. Your mind is far too clouded. "

"I don't need another one of your Occlumency lessons, Snape. No offense, but I'm done with that."

"Clearly, you were missing the point of those lessons, _by far_. I also told you in said lessons that you needed to discipline your mind. The point still remains, even now."

"I can't just switch it off. You _know_ that."

"Listen to me very carefully, "Harry noticed the man look concerned, and that threw his mind off from trailing too far. But regardless, Snape was unexpectantly patient with him. "What you have experienced is immensely traumatic. For someone your age to deal with what you have, is doubtlessly damaging to your current state of mind. This is a delicate time for you, and you must be patient with yourself."

"I'm fine. "Harry looked away and stared out of the window, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Potter, you are far from _fine_. Since your discovery of me in the Shrieking Shack, I have seen you become irrational and spasmodic in behaviour. I have noticed the tremors in your hands, and the way you disconnect from reality when you stare off into the _abyss_. I daresay you even recall Miss Granger dragging you into the dungeons for some method of relief, after your episode of anxiety last night coupled with restless nights."

"How could you possibly know that?" Harry shot him a warning look. He felt slightly uncomfortable of that assessment.

"I was a spy for years. It was my within my duty to observe what goes generally unnoticed. I am attuned to certain behaviours. But I also know that downward spiral from personal experience."

Harry bit his lip when he glanced at Snape, and noticed the man now looked unusually pained. It was almost the same look during the time where Harry accidentally witnessed his worst memory, before the same man threw him out of the room. It was hard to believe that was several years prior. Now that felt like simpler times.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me ever since we brought you here?"

"Not quite, "Snape said curtly, before he pursed his lips in thought, "I admit I was rather furious with your need to alert Professor McGonagall about my whereabouts. Especially when I told you _specifically_ not to tell anyone."

"Excuse me for being alarmed that you may in danger from our ongoing threat."

There was a pause when Snape continued to look at the Gryffindor with interest. But Harry noticed something else about him in that moment. It was not necessarily the concerned expression he had since approaching Harry earlier, or the way he would usually look down upon his students as inferior. But it was more what Harry felt – there was no tension this time. Perhaps he realised that Snape was actually making sense, and he felt like for once in the time that Harry has been at Hogwarts, that they were actually able to see eye-to-eye. That maybe, they could actually agree on something. It has taken them both seven years to even consider such a truce, but in the course of the events of the war in the last few years, it seems even war had changed them both in unexpected ways.

There was a pause. Snape seemed at a loss with words this time, but after careful consideration, he finally responded, "With everything that has happened, allow me to assist you in some way, that I most certainly could not do before."

"No one can help. Besides, I just – I just don't know if I could ever _completely_ forgive you. You do realise that?"

"That is understandable, and I do not expect you to. _However_ , "Snape looked at Harry with sad eyes, "I need you to listen to me. _Really_ listen, Potter. I know you think you have proven yourself now against defeating the greatest dark wizard, but you must resist in the need to pursue the remaining Death Eaters. They will not hesitate to kill you now that their master is dead and they no longer have to worry about focusing on a simple capture. They have no rules or leader to abide to now, and that makes them _extremely_ dangerous. Leave that task to those who know how to deal with them."

Harry frowned, "You want to go after them, don't you?"

"I never said that."

"You were implying. Snape, if you are going to hunt them down, then I want to join you. We both need to end this. _Really_ end it this time. I know you are going just as mad as I am being stuck in this castle and have been told to stay hidden."

"I will _not_ risk your life again. I spent years making sure you were safe, and I am not about to compromise that again, Potter. I want this to end as eagerly as you do, but you need to think logically about this. Don't allow your typical Gryffindor courage blind you from the danger that is still so very evident."

Harry threw up his hands in mild frustration, "They'll kill you, too! You betrayed them, so you are also very much high on their list. I'm sure they saw your return to battle!"

"I worked amongst them, Potter. I _know_ them best. I know how they operate. I _was_ them."

"Why did you even return to the battle? You could have faked your death and left unnoticed. Start a new life. Instead you showed yourself to the final fight. Why?"

"I didn't want to give my old master the smug satisfaction. I left quickly because I did not want to face you after...everything I had to show you _previously_. As I mentioned to you earlier, I thought my death was absolute. I was expecting it to be." Snape looked slightly ashamed at the admittance.

Harry nodded in understanding, "I guess so did I."

Snape looked at Harry and nodded curtly, "I made a promise that I was to protect you, and given the new threat, that is still ongoing."

"I don't _need_ protection anymore, Snape."

"Guidance, Potter. You need guidance."

Harry Potter could not argue with that. Instead, he hung his head in defeat and closed his eyes. "Then what do you suggest?"

"Have patience." Snape responded softly. He glanced quickly at the Map and noticed an Auror making a beeline to their location. Without missing a beat, the man swung the Invisibility Cloak back over his form and he disappeared from view instantly. Without another word, Harry heard as the man walked away in his usual large strides.

Harry knew the man was making sense, but he just did not want to believe it. Perhaps it was merely from habit that he would disagree with him instantly, but he just could not bring himself to do that this time. He spent years at odds with the man and challenging him on every aspect of their interactions. Whether it was within the classroom, or Occlumency, or even just passing him down the corridor trying to mind his own business.

But for once, Snape did not treat him like a child. Not this time, which Harry was most interested by. It was often in the man's nature to belittle and provoke his students as if he took pleasure in their discomfort when it came to the battle of authority during class. Obviously, Snape tried that with Harry multiple times through their interactions, and he was always more furious when Harry stood up to him without batting an eye. The man took pleasure in provoking Harry's ugly side but could not seem to deal with the retaliation from the Gryffindor when it did happen. Time and time again the man would push his buttons, until Harry felt the need to explode in rage.

But it seemed like Severus Snape was doing the exact opposite to what he expected. And Harry was unsure of how to feel about that. If there was any realisation, was that Harry now felt like the arsehole in this situation, and he could not help but feel guilty if this was the trait Snape had predicted of him. After all, his father James was not the saint Harry initially perceived him to be. Once Snape had shown him some of his personal memories after his supposed death, it all started to make more sense. And Harry felt like now, at least, they would finally co-operate. Not as student and teacher, but of allies. Harry spent years hating the man and presuming he was the real enemy.

Perhaps the both of them found a strange power in provoking the other, back in Harry's early school years. But things were very different now. Were they friends? Definitely not. But Harry knew they were no longer enemies, and for once, he found some joy in that. The recent conversation proved that. Severus Snape did not offer him guidance out of need, but…of want. He did not have to offer such a thing, and yet he did. Even if Harry was not sure exactly why the man would even bother.

Like him, Snape had lost too much. Both allegiances he sacrificed his adult life to, now seemed to crumble. He too, felt like he had no purpose. The more Harry thought about that, the more it made sense that Snape considered taking his own life. Both wanted this to end as badly as each other. Perhaps it was fate - or whatever you want to call it – that they both survived. Even though both were anticipated to die. As neither did, they were now unsure how to move on with their lives. Snape longed for death but was rescued. Harry did not want to die but was more than willing and ready to.

Harry could almost envision his mother telling him to stay strong. How could he? He was hurt in so many ways that he did not know where to even begin. The one man he spent years hating, seemed to be the only one patient enough to help him deal with it.

Tears welled up in his emerald eyes, as he began to make his way back to Gryffindor Tower in the hope that he would apologise to Hermione for losing it at her. She really didn't deserve that, after trying her best to help him.

He felt like he failed everyone, even his friends. He was just not strong enough for this.

Once he finally reached the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, he shot a furious look at the Fat Lady portrait, "Don't even think about it, I'm not in the mood." With a _hmpf_ , the Fat Lady opened the door without a word and let the Gryffindor back in.

He should not have been surprised to find that Hermione had left. It was his own fault, really. He would not want to be in his company either. Walking back to the dormitory, he grabbed the Calming Drought and took a blind few drops to ease his chaotic mind. He glanced at the unfamiliar strange pearly _Animo Silentium_ elixir - He would have to ask Snape about that second peculiar potion at some point. He vaguely recalled him saying something about it being a personal brew, but he could not be sure.

Making his way back into the Common Room, he settled himself by the fire in one of the large armchairs. His stomach growled. He did not remember the last time he had something to eat. Was it yesterday? His mind was much too clouded to remember, but eventually, he found himself drifting off to sleep.

When he awoke, he noticed the sun was gone. It was already night-time. No one came to see him, and he even wondered if Hermione was going to return. She was most likely too upset. Sighing heavily, Harry opened his Marauder's Map once again. Minerva was seen talking with Rowan Locke in her office, while the other four Aurors were at their usual stations around the castle. He could not find Hermione on the map, so that answered his earlier question. But something else bothered him.

Severus Snape was not on the Map, either. Anywhere.

Slightly alarmed, Harry flipped through the multiple map pages, and could not find the ex-Potions professor anywhere. The Gryffindor ran a frustrated hand through his messy unkept hair. The man was nowhere to be found. Harry found his heart racing with anxiety. Could he be using the Cloak? Harry was not even sure if the map could even conceal the Cloak. It was not something he ever tested. But this had him worried.

Harry found himself still flipping through the map minutes later, and something else happened. Severus Snape re-appeared on the Map at Hogwarts' warded boundary, and Harry watched as the mans footsteps continued along the path to the Forbidden Forest, and then disappeared at the edge of the Map.

Ignoring his still-racing heart, he left the couch and bounded towards to the exit.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE: So, I figured I'd place my note here. So firstly – thank you all for making it this far! I would like to point out that I generally have the next two Chapters written in advanced, but I prefer to post a chapter once I finish writing one, so it can give me enough chance to edit back if needed.**

**Secondly – The Invisibility cloak is important. For the sake of it being a contradictory magical item, I wanted it so that the Cloak can hide the user within the map. I had to go back and research this because I was curious if it was ever mentioned, but in canon, the Cloak can still be seen with the Map. I found this rather an odd tidbit. A Cloak – crafted from the cloak of Death himself, should really be immune to such magical from something like the Marauders Map. Just takes away from the uniqueness of the Cloak, I feel. So, for the sake of this story, I wanted to have the Cloak hidden from the Map.**

**Just thought I would point that out! =)**


	9. Into the Forest Again

**NOTE: Well, this one was super fun to write! There are a few sweet moments in here, so I hope you enjoy them! =)**

* * *

CHAPTER 9: Into the Forest Again

Harry Potter sprinted down the Grand Staircase, jumping several steps at a time until he reached ground floor. He barely stopped while he fished out the Map from his pocket, and quickly scanned the parchment for any Aurors close by as he ran. He did not want to alert them – That was the last thing he intended to do. He saw Severus Snape walk beyond the magical barrier of Hogwarts. That was not an Apparition. No, he would have disappeared at the edge of the ward, if he did. The man headed directly towards the Forbidden Forest. That much Harry had gathered.

But why? What was he doing there?

The young Gryffindor had so many thoughts running rampant through his mind, and neither of them were pleasant ones. The longer he ran, the more anxious he was becoming.

Once he dodged the sentry paths of the Aurors, Harry found himself sprinting out of the grounds in the darkest of nights, and across the bridge in the direction of Hagrid's Hut. Now he had wished he had a second Invisibility Cloak with him.

The night air was slightly cool and breezy, but the sky was clear. Bright stars littered the black sky – some shining more than others. Harry had always loved staring up into the sky - from finally inhabiting his own bedroom at the Dursley's, to sitting upon his usual perch by the windowsill of his dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. He would not really call it stargazing. He barely paid enough attention in Astronomy to care much about the constellations. But that does not mean he was not fascinated with what was up there. He often wondered how different his view of the sky would be if he was not introduced to the world of magic. Would he still be curious? Even now surrounded by magic, he always sensed there was something extra special with the sky.

Now he wanted nothing more than to feel the cool night air on his broomstick, carefree.

Instead, he found himself running into the Forest and chasing down a man who was meant to be keeping a low profile within the safety of the castle. Then again, Harry should have been doing that as well, but he really did not care at this point. He knew very well that the pair of them were not well-versed on sitting around waiting for something to happen.

He did feel good to be doing _something_ , though.

Once he reached several paces within the forest, he pulled out his wand and cast emLumos/em to light the way. He slowed down, being careful to tread gently along the path he was unfortunately familiar with. He found it ironic that this was the same path he took on the way to his own death.

_'The boy who lived…Come to die.'_

Harry blinked back the memory of that night and tried to push it away from his mind. His breathing became more laboured as more and more details of that night flooded his entire being. He could practically still hear the maniacal laughter of the Death Eaters as he walked the path to his death – This time didn't seem to feel much different.

As he treaded deeper into the Forest, everything grew darker. The trees became denser, and the air around him was foggy and thick with danger. His heart began to beat faster. Every few paces, he would duck behind a tree and try his best to observe his surroundings before continuing ahead. With wand arm outstretched at the ready, he resumed his careful trek. But a flash of white in the shadow of the tree base ahead caught his attention.

It was the white of Snape's sleeve. The man was eavesdropping on something ahead but had not yet been made aware of Harry's presence.

Harry hastily ducked behind another tree and squinted in the darkness to observe what Snape was seeing. Quickly extinguishing his wand light, he struggled with his vision to look ahead. He could make out some movement amongst the fallen trees further into the forest, but his eyesight could not distinguish what was ahead. Harry considered moving closer but made the decision against that. Instead, he tried to focus on calming his breathing. He strained his ears to try and pick up sounds, but his struggled breath made it all the more difficult to hear. Eventually, he managed to take control.

He started hearing voices ahead. There were multiple people in the small clearing amongst the twisted burnt logs. The more Harry listened, the more sounds he could pick up. Eventually, he could hear the sound of a child weeping. He strained his hearing again. No – He could hear more than one child crying. And Harry's eyes grew wide.

It was the Death Eaters – And Harry was positive this was their previous camp from the battle at Hogwarts. Of course! Harry knew this already, but it slipped his mind and it never registered with him. Harry had come here before. This was where he died. This was where he had made his sacrifice. Voldemort had set up camp here, and Harry did not even consider the possibility of the rogue Death Eaters retreating here. And with hostages, no less.

Harry gritted his teeth, and from his position, observed Snape as he, too, was assessing the scene. He still could not understand what Snape was doing here. What the hell was he planning? Harry edged forward slightly, trying to move into a closer position so he could gain a clearer visual. But the young Gryffindor moved too close.

Snape had finally noticed movement in his peripheral on his right side and turned his head in time to see Harry duck down behind a fallen log amongst the dense prickly bushes. Harry was not quick enough – Snape had seen him. Harry peered up between the bushes and saw Snape looking him with a gaze so angry and piercing, that he could almost picture an eleven-year old Neville whimpering in fear. A breath caught in Harry's throat.

The Potion's Master was livid. It took several moments, but carefully, Snape edged his way to Harry's location until he crouched down beside him.

"What in Merlin's name are you _doing_ here, Potter?" Snape hissed. He was so uncomfortably close to him, that he could almost see the whites of his eyes.

"I could ask you the same thing, "Harry whispered angrily back, "You disappeared off the map."

"Absolutely _foolish_ of you, Potter, "Snape made a quick glance at the encampment, and back at Harry. "You failed to comprehend to my earlier warning."

"What? To stay in the castle? Yeah, well, I also recall Professor McGonagall telling you same _damn_ thing."

" _Language_ , Potter."

Harry sighed, "Why are you here?"

Snape frowned, "As you may have already gathered, this is where the Death Eaters have secured a base. They used it during the battle of the castle."

"Yeah, I know. This was where Voldemort killed me."

Snape looked at Harry, and they exchanged an uncomfortable silence between the two. Eventually the man winced, and looked away, "I see."

"I should have realised that the Death Eaters might be here. It didn't occur to me before."

Snape pursed his lips, "I was only ever here once, but I too, failed to make that connection."

"So, what will we do?"

" _We_ are not doing anything. _You_ , are going to head back to the castle immediately."

"No way, "Harry shook his head, "I'm not leaving."

" _Potter_ – "

"Do you still have the Cloak?"

"I hid it before I arrived here. I couldn't risk myself being captured accidentally whilst I was in possession of it – That Cloak is far too valuable to fall into the wrong hands."

Harry looked back on the clearing, and although the masked Death Eaters were standing around, the children were still wailing. As he peered more closely, he could see the metal cage that the children were barricaded in. Suddenly, he could hear one of the Death Eaters laugh, and kick something on the ground. Harry could barely make out what it was not, but it was not until an arm flailed in the air during the force of the kick, did he realise that it was a body. A female body. The Death Eaters had claimed another victim. Harry's hand shot up to his mouth, trying desperately to stifle the gasp that almost escaped from him. His heart started to race again.

Snape remained unmoving – still observing the scene beyond them. Although Harry noticed he looked slightly distressed.

Eventually, Snape broke the silence, "We must go back and alert McGonagall. She can alert the Aurors."

" _What_? We are going to do nothing?" Harry was shocked.

Snape looked back at him in warning, "Potter, we are _heavily_ outnumbered."

"There are kids in there, Snape – "Harry whispered a little too loudly. "We can't just leave them in there. "

Snape looked devastated, "I am fully _aware_ of that, Potter. We must alert the others so they can plan an attack. We are both no good to them, dead. They have them for leverage. They will not kill them."

"Yet - If we alert the Aurors, they'll take you too."

"I'm flattered, Potter, but you _must_ trust me. I have been in this situation before. You cannot run into there headfirst and expect to come out unscathed. It is highly dangerous. We need to plan this _carefully_."

"They'll _die_ in there if we don't act now – "Harry pleaded.

"Harry, _listen_ to me!"

"You can't tell me – Wait, what did you say?"

"I am not repeating what I just told you – "

"No, sir…You just called me Harry." Harry blinked several times in astonishment, not quite grasping the importance of the man's slip in demeanour.

"I most certainly did not."

"Yeah, you _did_." Harry smirked in amusement.

Snape hesitated, and looked away from the young Gryffindor clearly wounded by his own personal blunder. Harry looked back at the clearing and noticed a few more figures appearing. Snape was right – again. It was getting far too dangerous. More and more Death Eaters were Apparating within, but much to Harry's relief, neither of them appeared with any other hostages. However, it was still possible that they had returned from doing further damage.

Harry felt a chill, and immediately, everything began to freeze. He quickly looked at Snape, who noticed the same thing. The pair darted their gaze upwards towards the sky, and faint billowing creatures began to descend from the treetops. Their rattled howls penetrating the air around them. There was no mistaking them.

The bloody Dementors were here.

Snape released a breath he held and looked at Harry wildly, "Potter, _run_!" Immediately, Snape grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled him upwards, making a beeline to the path they had just travelled. There were three Dementors, who began to hover closely above their heads, as they began to take chase. Harry was too focused on the Dementors to pay any attention to the Death Eaters now yelling at them. Snape, still grasping Harry's wrist tightly, bolted down the path with the boy in tow.

Once they were a considerable distance away, Snape released his grasp and withdrew his wand from his sleeve holster, and he turned swiftly on his heel to face the oncoming Dementors. " _EXPECTO_ _PATRONUM_!" With a flurry overhead with his wand, a powerful stream of white shimmery ghost-like mist appeared and started to form a bounding shape of a beautiful silver doe. Harry watched in awe, as the man conjured the doe Patronus – The same one which led him to the Sword of Gryffindor. The doe bounded gracefully and chased down one of the Dementors in a burst of light.

Harry clasped his wand with a shaky hand, " _Expecto_ _Patronum_!" But nothing but a small tendril of light was cast. He blinked and tried again…Nothing happened. He was struggling to think. A Dementor above edged much too closely and attempted to suck the soul out of him. Harry's mind filled with the echoed screams from his mother. Everything happened too fast for him to gather his thoughts. Everything was spinning…

Snape noticed the young Gryffindor hesitating, "Potter, calm yourself! Stay centred. _Focus_." The man redirected his Patronus at the Dementor closest to Harry, and the creature recoiled back.

Nodding, Harry closed his eyes and tried to focus on the intent of the spell. A happy memory. He needed a happy memory. _Anything_. He pondered, until he could see the image of his mother's face within his mind. Being surrounded by Remus, Sirius and his father in the Forest only shy of a week ago. The comfort that they gave him before his death…

Harry shot his wand out once again and yelled out with all his might. " _EXPECTO_ _PATRONUM_!" Finally, the majestic and powerful stag burst from his wand to join the doe in their pursuit of the remaining Dementors. Both Patronus' bounded towards the dark shadowy spectres and repelled them with magnificent bursts of light.

Snape and Harry watched as their Patronus' attacked, but their gaze was broken by the shot of spells overhead in their direction. Harry barely noticed Snape's almost-pleased expression upon the Patronus', until they were being attacked by the Death Eaters now on their tail. Neither one of them missed a beat, and the unlikely pair started firing off spells as quickly as they could muster. Four Death Eaters were advancing on them, and it was nothing but chaos.

" _REDUCTO_!" Harry yelled out to the nearest Death Eater, and a pulse of magic emanated from his wand, and sent an enemy flying backwards into the clearing.

Severus Snape was effortlessly swinging his wand arm and firing off an assortment of non-verbal spells. Harry noticed him cast _Sectumsempra_ , as he saw another Death Eater crumble as he was sliced and struck down in its familiarity. Both Harry and Snape tried to head back down the path out of the Forest, but the Death Eaters were advancing much too quickly. Harry could have sworn more of them appeared, but he was too fearful to stop. He felt an arm grab him by the shoulder, and Harry looked at Snape in time for the man to shove him aside, as a spell shot in his direction. The spell pierced the tree behind him, leaving what looked like several bullet-like holes in its wake.

Harry fell to the floor, narrowly missing the onslaught, but something shiny on the forest floor caught his attention beside him. Without a further thought, he clambered to pick it up and hastily stashed it in his pocket. Once he looked up, he noticed a silver-masked Death Eater spot him as he did, but the enemy was sent flying once Snape had fired a curse his way.

There was a slight break in the fight, and once Harry got back on his feet, the pair took that opportunity to make a run for it. The remaining Death Eaters began to take chase, but they were suddenly hit with spells coming from another direction. Harry and Snape halted to a stop and looked back to find Ginny Weasley had joined the fight. She began firing spells at the oncoming Death Eaters, but that was not all Harry had noticed. In the distance, he could make out the running forms of Ron and Hermione and watched as they had two young children grasping their hands in desperation – It was the children trapped in the cage. Hermione ran ahead with the two young ones, while Ron held off the other Death Eaters on their tail.

Bounding immediately forward, Snape ran to cast a _Protego_ spell between Hermione with the children, and the two Death Eaters pursuing them. "Quickly! Get _behind_ me, Miss Granger!"

Harry ran ahead to join Ginny, and both began to attack the other Death Eater simultaneously.

"Ginny! How? – "Harry said, breathlessly, as he fired a _Stupefy_ overhead.

"Never you mind, Harry. We'll explain later!" Ginny called back and ducked as a curse flew inches over her head.

Harry had noticed Snape and Ron were duelling the Death Eaters on the other side, but slowly, they were inching towards their location. However, Harry's attention was disrupted, and he suddenly felt a searing pain on his right arm, causing him to drop his wand. He fell to his knees and looked down to find his arm was sliced in multiple locations. Blood started to seep through his sleeve almost immediately and ran down to his hand, and with every passing moment, the pain began to build up as his adrenaline started to wear off. He shakily picked up his wand with his other hand, stashed it back in his pocket, and proceeded to cradle his injured arm. He whimpered from the pain.

"HARRY!" Ginny screamed out as she fired a final spell and sent a Death Eater to his knees. Immediately, she ran to Harry's side and tried desperately to conceal the wound with the hem of Harry's jacket.

The others had now reached their location, and immediately Snape dropped to Harry's side, as Ron continued to fend off the remaining two Death Eaters. The two young children – as Harry could now see – Appeared to be barely eight years old. Two young girls, who were still crying upon their escape, where huddled closely with Hermione, who tried her best to calm them down. Ginny decided to leave Harry's side, and join her brother in taking down the remaining enemies and allowed the Potion's Master to tend to Harry.

Still crouched beside Harry in a mess of black robes, Snape began to observe the wound.

Harry was panicked, "They used your spell, Snape." He grimaced, as Snape carefully peeled away pieces of his shredded sleeve. The man began to tear a section of his black cloak and wrap it around the wound in a desperate attempt to apply pressure. The blood was still seeping through and began to drip to the forest floor. Harry started to feel faint, and the forest was starting to spin within his vision.

The man nodded grimly, "It appears so. "The cursed lacerations on his arms appeared as a two large crosses on both his forearm and below his shoulder. There was far too much blood to indicate how deep they were, but it definitely looked horrific. The last few Death Eaters began to Apparate away, along with the few still sprawled on the floor from the unexpected onslaught. Ron and Ginny finally joined them and watched as Snape tended to the wound. Concerned, the man looked up at the young adults, and then his eyes darted to the frightened children, "Are you injured? Are the children unharmed?"

"No, sir. I think we are alright. The kids have been hysterical, though, "Ron looked at the others, and they all nodded in unison. Hermione was still huddled with the small children besides them. "But the bloody Death Eaters Apparated away! I think I may have injured one or two of them, but I can't be sure."

"Mr Weasley – I have concealed the Invisibility Cloak by the burned-out tree-stump in the clearing over there. Retrieve it, _quickly_." Without another word, Ron bounded off in the direction Snape was pointing to.

Snape turned to Harry, and immediately started to trace his wand over the wounds, as he began to perform the counter-curse. _Vulnera_ _Sanentur_. The man's voice was soft, and gentle. Harry had heard this spell before, and seen it performed after he blindly attacked Draco with the same spell. He remembered clearly how peculiar it was, as he had never once heard a spell spoken with a melody before. In fact, it was rather beautiful. He was not sure if the spell was meant to also calm the mind, but he started to feel more at ease as the song-like healing spell began to take effect. It was unusual to hear such a thing from Snape, but it was definitely working as intended. Slowly, the wound began to knit back together, and some of the pooled blood began to retreat back to the wound. It was fascinating. The pain began to subside, but not completely. His entire arm was throbbing and numb, but it was no longer a sharp intense pain. Grateful, he looked up at the man once the spell was complete.

"Unfortunately, this will leave some significant scarring, "Snape explained, as he fished within his pocket robes and pulled out a small vial filled with a deep red liquid, "Here, take this immediately - Blood Replenishing potion. One dosage should be adequate, but I do have few more vials ready within my office if you require more. "Snape watched as Harry downed the liquid without questioning. "Essence of murtlap will be able to soothe it momentarily, but for now, you _must_ get back to the castle." Snape explained, as he helped the young man up on his feet. "Will you be alright to walk?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I think so. "Still cradling his arm, he turned to Hermione and Ron, who had just arrived with the Cloak. "How did you find us?"

Ron retrieved a small green handheld object from his pocket, "The bloody Deluminator. Hermione came to see me before, and sick with worry about you. We decided to come back to the castle and found that you had disappeared. So, I used this thing again, and it worked."

"Once we followed you, we saw the hostages. That's when the Dementors attacked you, and we used that opportunity to save them using the distraction, "Hermione said, as she looked to the distraught young children in her care, "We really have to get them out of here."

Snape nodded and glanced over at the young children, who was still clinging onto Hermione in fear, and looked to each of the young adults in turn as they eagerly waited for instructions, "Listen _carefully_ to my instructions. Miss Granger, you are to take the Cloak and get the children safely to Hogwarts. Understood? Potter, accompany the Weasley's and go directly to Professor McGonagall and alert her of the situation."

"But sir, _you_ need the Cloak – I can't have the Aurors finding you! "Harry responded.

"Never mind me, make sure the children are safe within the grounds. I want you all back safely within Hogwarts _immediately_ , no exceptions. However, I must return to their base of operations, and tend to the victim. I am afraid she may be lost."

"Sir, what should we tell them?" Ginny asked.

"You may have no other choice but to tell the Headmistress a slightly distorted truth. You were on route to see Professor Hagrid, heard a scream and went to blindly investigate, "Snape explained, "It is not a far cry to what you would have done, surely."

Harry nodded, "Alright. Fine. We'll do that."

"And Potter?" Snape asked.

"Yeah?"

Snape frowned at the boy, "Do not run in pursuit of me again. Am I making myself clear?"

"But sir – "

"Just go – _Now_! Before they return." Snape urged the Gryffindors to make haste, and then turned on his heel to make his way back to the Death Eater camp. His dark robes billowed behind him as he disappeared back into the shadows of the forest.

Harry turned the opposite direction and watched as Hermione placed the Cloak over the two crying children, and herself - Just in case they were to be attacked again. Immediately, Harry felt Ginny walk up beside him and wrap her arms around his waist for support. He held onto her with his good arm and felt grateful for her company once again.

"Harry, you _need_ to stop running off by yourself, "Ginny turned to face Harry, "You're always covered in blood when I see you."

"I couldn't let Snape go in there alone."

"He is more than capable of handling himself, I'm sure, "Ginny responded, slightly amused.

"You don't understand, Ginny – "

"- I get it, I do. You were worried about him. Hermione told us earlier that you found him in hiding. "

"Yeah, why did you keep that from us, Harry? We could have helped, you know, "Ron responded.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want many people to know. He'll get thrown into Azkaban if he was discovered. I can't let that happen, not after everything he did for all of us, "Harry replied, "Besides, I didn't know how you all felt about him being back…"

"You told us about what he did for you. For us all, "Ginny asked, "How could we go up against that?"

"You can trust us, you know, "Ron walked ahead, towards the Forests' edge, "Besides, we want to help you. After all, it's still not over."

Ginny nodded, "I think it's time we had a DA meeting, don't you think? "

Harry glanced at Ginny - shocked - and stopped in his tracks, "DA meeting? Seriously? I doubt _anyone_ is ready to reassemble right now. Besides, it's over. The battle is done."

"Well, we are here, aren't we? "Ginny smiled, "I'm sure Neville and Luna will be more than happy to join us. We could even use the Room of Requirement again. The threat isn't over yet."

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Ginny. Besides, I'm certain the Ministry are aware of the DA now. It's no longer a secret."

"Since when did you give a toss about the Ministry and what they think?" Ron interjected.

"I don't, it's just…" Harry hung his head, "Haven't we all dealt with enough?"

"And yet you were more than happy to run into danger again by yourself, because you have a tendency to take matters in your own hands!" Ron threw his arms up in frustration, "Bloody hell, Harry! If you are going to do something _stupid_ like that, then we need to do this properly. Or at least with us."

"Enough, you two. Ron and Ginny are right, Harry, "Hermione's frantic voice emanated beside him, still hidden under the Cloak, "No more risking your life like that. If you are so set on hunting down these remaining Death Eaters, then you need our help. No _excuses_!"

Harry threw his hands up, "I just don't want to put you all into any more danger, alright?"

"You can't keep blaming yourself for everything that has happened, Harry. It's not like you forced us to fight. We _chose_ to. And we _chose_ to stand by you and protect Hogwarts. _That_ is not your fault." Ginny said.

"When are you going to get it through your skull, Harry? We are with you until the end," Ron nodded. "No matter how stupid the idea is."

"Then it's settled, "Ginny smirked, "We'll have a DA meeting, and gather those who still want to help. The sooner we deal with the last of these knobheads, the sooner we can move on with our lives. Agreed?"

Harry nodded glumly. There was no use arguing with them further. After all, he did admire their defiance.

The Gryffindors finally left the Forbidden Forest and trudged up the winding hilled path towards the school, and once they were safe within its walls, Hermione removed the Invisibility Cloak covering herself and the frightened children by her side.

They spent the remainder of the evening within the Headmistress' office with the Aurors on duty, explaining to them what had happened. As Snape requested, Harry told them as much as he was able. The children were taken to St. Mungo's for healing and were accompanied by two additional Aurors as a precaution. As predicted, the Aurors went to investigate the Forest base and found the deceased female victim that Snape went to see. Not much was known about her, but they guessed she was the mother of one of the children held hostage. Once the Aurors had left, Harry made the decision to tell Minerva what really happened, as each of them began to explain the events of the evening and how they came to discover the children.

Once they recalled to her what they could, the Gryffindor's retreated back to the Common Room. While Hermione was tending to Harry's wounds with murtlap essence, Harry retrieved the Marauder's Map once again. His breath was caught in is throat, and his chest felt like an anvil was resting upon it.

Severus Snape failed to show up on the map that night.


	10. Back Within the Shadows

**NOTE: So, this chapter caused me a little stress. It was a massive shot in the dark in order to predict the upcoming interactions. But I admit, it was very tricky. We understand the characters already in a Voldemort-reigned world, but once he is eliminated, it is unpredictable as to the actions of certain characters now. Also incredibly difficult as a particular interaction below, as you'll soon see - We have only truly seen them interact at one point in the books. So, I'd be interested to hear your take on this.**

* * *

CHAPTER 10: Back Within the Shadows

Severus Snape sped off towards the Death Eater camp, and gingerly touched the bandage on his neck wound to discover that it was bleeding through yet again. He was getting tired of patching it up, ever since his revival from the vicious attack by Nagini - Being a snake cursed and bestowed with dark magic, the venom itself was not ordinary. The wound just would not heal, as much as he tried every way possible. The new anti-venoms within his stores seemed to keep it at bay, but it just would not dissipate from his system. Since the attack, the poison would send him into excruciating pain all over his body, as it flowed to every corner of his vascular system. The anti-venom was the only thing preventing the venom from destroying his heart completely. Even still, the few vials he had left with him could only do so much.

Arthur Weasley was lucky enough to have the right care, but at that point, Nagini was not bestowed with additional magical protection. Severus just happened to be highly unlucky.

Severus realised he had given Potter the last vial of Blood Replenishing potion and cursed himself for not bringing more with him. The rest of his stores were back in the Potions lab – A place he would not be able to get to anytime soon.

At this point, he had departed from sending the students off to Hogwarts with the rescued children, and he made his way hastily back to the discovered base to tend to the victim – he presumed her already dead, but he had to make sure. If the woman was still alive, he could at least tend to her wounds before the Aurors show up to take over. Either way, he needed to keep a low profile. He was still a highly wanted man.

Severus reached the campsite with extreme caution. He lit his wand with _Lumos_ and proceeded to scout the grounds for any sign of further hostile activity. Treading carefully, he observed the animalistic cage in which the children were held and noticed rusty broken chains within. Severus's eyes glossed over. The wretched Death Eaters had chained the children within the cage, like animals. The man had seen this before throughout the first and second Wizarding War. During his time as a Death Eater, he was always absolutely against harming children in any form. However, within the ranks of the Dark Lord, Severus was often tasked with escorting them to their fate. But that also meant he had no other choice but to watch helplessly as they were frightened and tortured by his colleagues. He tried desperately to save who he could, but often, his efforts were useless.

No one could forget the young ones who died by the Dark Lord's hands. Especially when they died before his eyes, and their terrified piercing cries were enough to haunt the man forever. Even Occlumency was not enough to help shift it away from the forefront of his mind, and he had no choice but to become numb to it.

He found the poor woman sprawled awkwardly on her back only a few metres from the cage. Realisation hit him instantly as he knew they had tortured her in front of the children. The man released the breath he held and knelt gently beside the woman's unmoving form. It was evident – she was already dead and had been for a while. The woman was youthful; Severus guessed she was in her mid-forties. Her wavy ash blonde hair scattered around her face, and he noticed dried blood through the tips of her hair. She reminded him of Charity Burbage, but the last images of his ex-colleague were not pleasant ones. Another person he could not save.

Gently, he moved some of the hair from her face, trying his best to preserve the woman's dignity. The Aurors would be here soon, and he needed to move quickly. The Death Eaters left nothing else behind in their wake during their pursuit of them earlier. However much to Severus' disappointment, they had all escaped.

He stood up and performed a visual sweep of the grounds. Raising his wand, he began to perform several incantations in his efforts to reveal any wards or barriers created by the dark wizards. Often, the Death Eaters would create concealments around their establishments, in an attempt to hide additional areas, not limited to their prisoners. In past raids, Severus would usually conceal artifacts and potions stores with smaller wards and enchantments to keep them away from prying Muggle eyes or enemies. It was standard procedure.

Suddenly, there was a shuffle of feet in the distance, and Severus quickly ducked behind one of the large twisted trees in time to see several Aurors appear. His wand was at the ready by his side, as he listened to their conversation.

"What a mess, Hector."

"The Ministry isn't going to be happy about this. Blimey, I thought we caught them all."

"The scoundrels got away. Those kids are lucky to be alive. "

"I don't know why the devil Hogwarts students are out here attacking them anyway. Madness!"

"And reckless."

"Oi, we have one here. Poor lass."

"Merlin's beard. Another one."

"Recognise her, Marko?"

"Sadly, not. I wonder if the Malfoys are behind this."

"I heard Lucius got sent to Azkaban. Bloody good riddance to that piece of scum! He petitioned to have my Muggle-born wife persecuted."

"Right nasty piece of work. I'm sure his self-entitled spawn would finish the job someday."

"Crazy times we live in, that's for sure! "

Severus had heard enough. Treading carefully, he slipped away in the shadows of the Forest far enough away from the voices and managed to Apparate away – charcoal smoke blending in with the darkness of the tree canopy overhead. There were only three places the man considered going, and neither were safe options. But he would be damned to make sure those Death Eaters did not harm another life.

This needed to end one way or another, and Severus was running out of time. Least he could accomplish was to try and discover what the scattered Death Eaters were planning to achieve. But he had to be incredibly careful – he has the opportunity to finally finish this, so he best not mess this up.

The world spun back into view once he reappeared at the familiar black iron gates of Malfoy Manor. It was pitch black – lightly overcast, but still an evident windy chill enough to bother him. He hated the cold. He much preferred the warmth and humidity of the dungeons back in Hogwarts, but right now, he did not have that luxury. He would give anything to sit by a crackling fire within his private quarters, reading books on literature, instead of pursing his deranged ex-colleagues, fleeing from being captured and thrown into Azkaban, all while nursing a cursed venom-infused wound in his neck.

He definitely has seen better days.

Slipping behind the overlarge hedged fence, he waited in the shadows to further observe his surroundings. He could see from his perch that there were lights on within the Manor, but he could see no further activity among its exterior. Hopefully, that remains as a good sign. The next problem would be the wards. Once he was confident that no one was around, he casually walked up to the front gates and paused. He was hoping these wards had not been reconfigured – after all, it was he who placed them in the first place, by order of the Dark Lord when it was previously used as headquarters. Perhaps Severus was overconfident, but he knew the Malfoys had fled against the evil regime at the Battle at Hogwarts at the end. Therefore, he predicted that the Malfoys may also be in danger. If the rogue Death Eaters were picking off their enemy one by one, then the Malfoys were also a target.

With his wand above his head, he flourished it towards the gates, muttering several incantations. Once he was satisfied, he opened the gate with a flick of his wand and walked right through without hesitation. Following the cobblestone pathway to the entrance, he continued along on high alert, until he reached the large ebony back doors. Gingerly, he pulled up the sleeve of his left arm to reveal the slightly faded Dark Mark and held it up towards the serpent-shaped silver engraving on the door handle. The serpent emitted a dull glow, and then faded. The door then opened with a click. With one quick glance behind him to make sure he was not followed, Severus hastily stepped inside.

His wand was raised to chest level at the ready, as he walked inside the elegant Manor slowly. Initially, he thought of staying silent, but he was not liking the idea of sneaking up to his comrades. After all, he meant no harm here. His only worry was how the Malfoys will take his appearance since his deception to the Dark Lord.

"Narcissa…Draco…" Severus Snape whispered, as he continued to walk further inside. "It's Severus. I am not here to harm you." He lowered his wand to his side gently, still on high alert in case of an ambush.

He heard a faint shuffle upstairs, and gradually, the sounds of footsteps grew louder. Severus turned to the staircase, as he observed Narcissa and Draco making their way downstairs, both with wands outstretched.

"It's alright, Narcissa, "Slowly, Severus placed his wand back within his left wrist holster and raised his pale hands in a sign of surrender, "We need to talk."

"How are you here? How are you alive?" Narcissa continued to point her wand at Severus, as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Draco looked worried as he trailed just behind his mother.

Severus nodded towards Draco, "He didn't inform you? Your son found it imperative that he save my life. "

Narcissa looked to her son quizzically, then back to Severus. "I don't understand. The Dark Lord told us he killed you. You're a traitor…"

"As were you, Narcissa, do not lie, "Severus's face softened, "You never wanted any part of this, _either_."

"I did it for my husband!" Narcissa fired back.

"And where did that land him?"

Narcissa looked furious, but Draco lowered his wand, stepped beside her and ushered her to stop, "Mother, enough of this. Let's just hear what he has to say."

Mrs Malfoy hesitated, but slowly lowered her wand to her side as her eyes welled up with tears, "I'm sorry, Severus. We do not know who to trust. The Ministry barely let us go. But Lucius…"

Severus bowed his head respectfully, "I know. The Ministry is in pursuit of me also, but you _must_ listen. I gather you are aware of the rogue Death Eaters re-establishing the mission?"

Narcissa nodded, "Yes, but we are no longer a part of that. Not after Lucius was taken from us."

"I realise that, but I have reason to believe that you may both be targeted. I do not know who remains, but they are starting to attack, kidnap and kill those who are within their sights. Resistance and ex-Death Eaters alike."

"Last I heard it was Macnair, Selwyn, and Amycus Carrow, to name a few. I don't recall who else fled their capture, "Draco explained. "They are rounding them all up."

Severus frowned, "Draco, how do you know this?"

"I followed them. Turns out they went straight to your residence in Cokeworth. After all, you did offer it up for use for Voldemort -"

Severus winced, "Do _not_ say his name!" He let out a small sigh. So, they did use his house. Looks like he will not be returning there anytime soon. _Bollocks_.

"Come, Severus, let us sit down. You must tell me what you know, "Narcissa motioned for Severus to follow her, and the three of them settled down within the comfort of the lounge room. At least Severus got his roaring fire.

"I need your word that you keep what I say, between us, "Severus asked, softly. He leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands over his knees. "It is imperative you both keep a low profile for now. You are in a highly vulnerable position."

"Of course. Draco and I are fearing for our lives! I am afraid to leave this house. Not just from the Death Eater attacks, but…everyone else. We are not used to being…cast away like this."

"I understand – "

"How did you do it? Fool the Dark Lord all this time? Fool all of us?"

Severus drew in a deep breath and looked from both Narcissa and Draco. "With delicate precision. I was once loyal to him. _Once_. Then he did something I could never forgive him for."

Narcissa frowned, "It wasn't that Gryffindor Mudblood you fancied at school, was it? You can't be serious?"

Severus' cheeks flushed as he leaned forward suddenly; mouth twisted in a deranged snarl, " _Don't_ say that word in front of me!"

Narcissa leaned forward and narrowed her eyes, "I _knew_ it! She died that night, and I _knew_ you were not the same after that! I had my suspicions; I just wasn't sure. Lucius was oblivious, but I knew."

"What? Who?" Draco asked, confused by this exchanged. Severus hesitated.

"Lily Evans, was it, Severus? Harry Potter's mother. The woman behind this _bloody_ prophecy in the first place, "Narcissa spoke in a patronizing manner, and this seemed to anger Severus even more. She turned to her son, "Your Godfather here went to school with her. Lucius teased him often for that. I remember how devastated he was when they both got separated by house. For the best, I think -"

"ENOUGH!" Severus slammed his fist against the armrest of the couch he was on, causing Narcissa to jump, and Draco to look at his ex-Professor, with a frightened gaze. He had to take a few moments to calm himself, but once he raised his voice, a sharp pain emanated from his neck wound. He could taste blood. Immediately, he placed a hand on his bandage and could feel it seeping yet again. He growled in frustration. " _Bloody_ hell."

Unsure of how to handle this situation, Draco immediately conjured bandages and raced to the man's side. He shot his mother a warning look, "Mother, that is _quite_ enough! I wish we had the courage to do what he did. Whether he fancied her that way or not. Does it really matter to _us_? Father was a fool to trust the Dark Lord anyway – he doomed us all to... _this_." Severus watched, as Draco hastily applied another bandage over the sickly-looking wound, once he gingerly removed the old one. The wound itself seemed to ooze more than just blood, but the surrounding skin appeared to have unusual sickly purple and green tendril-like bruises surrounding it. Feeling ill at the sight, Draco quickly patched it up. He had never seen anything like it.

Narcissa watched as her son tended to his Godfather – she was rather impressed by Draco's immediate response. Once Draco was finished, she looked back at Severus and sighed. "Then what do you require of us?"

Severus leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes trying to calm himself for the faint dizziness he felt. Once that feeling subsided enough, he looked back at Narcissa, "I must ask for your assistance to help me bring them down – "

"No."

"No?"

"You heard me, Severus. I want _nothing_ more to do with them. I just want peace now. With my son."

"Narcissa, there won't be peace until they are rendered silent. They will continue to pursue you if we do not act."

"I'll help you, Severus." Draco interjected with confidence. "Whatever you need, I'll do it."

Narcissa looked horrified, "Do not dare, Draco! I will _not_ have you running blind orders again from someone else!"

"Mother, we have a chance to do the right thing now. Running away like cowards at the end of the battle did us no favours!"

"Allow him to make his _own_ decision for once, Narcissa. The poor boy never even had a choice," Severus said, softly.

Narcissa looked furious, "You don't have children of your own, Severus, so don't give me orders on _my_ own son."

Feeling a severe internal blow at that comment, Severus reeled silently as he lowered his voice, "Running will do us no good. I will not allow them to come after you or Draco. I will put an end to this – _finally_ – if it's the very last thing I do."

Tearfully, Narcissa nodded. Deep down she knew he was right, but she did not want to face it. "Alright." She looked up at Severus' pale and gaunt face, and concern was immediately evident on her own, "Severus, you look absolutely terrible."

Suddenly exhausted, Severus pursed his lips, "I was supposed to die, but didn't. How else do you think I'd feel?"

Draco suddenly looked uncomfortable, and guilty, "I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't just let you _die_ – "

"It's no fault of yours, Draco. The Dark Lord marked me as his victim due to his inability to acknowledge his own simple mistake. The coward couldn't do it himself, so he sent Nagini instead," Severus said bitterly as he recalled that horrible night.

"Why not stay here, Severus? Let the Ministry handle the Death Eaters. Rest. Recover, "Narcissa said.

Severus shook his head, "You and I both know I cannot do nothing. I have, well…Other obligations now."

Narcissa frowned, "The Dark Lord is gone. You can't still be trying to protect Potter? The fight is over. _Leave_ the boy."

"It's…complicated, "Severus said gently. "He is still in danger. As is _your_ son. I still have a duty to uphold. It's not over."

Narcissa sighed and looked at Draco. "Draco, dear, take Severus to the guest room upstairs. I'll prepare something for him to eat."

Severus bowed his head in gratitude, "I appreciate the hospitality. Hogwarts is out of bounds for the time being." He rose from his chair, at the same time as Draco and the pair made their way out of the living quarters and ascended the marble staircase to the floor above. Severus felt slightly faint, but he pushed through his need to stop and kept walking. Draco noticed the man swaying slightly but stood by closely just in case. Severus looked at Draco and noticed his guilty expression.

"Do not blame yourself, Draco, "They reached the top of the stairs, and made their way down the elegant corridor.

"I blundered up your healing spell. I messed it up, "Draco was frustrated with himself.

"It wasn't the spell. It was Nagini. You took a huge risk in coming back for me. Draco, he could have _killed_ you too."

"I didn't think of that – I just couldn't see you die."

They reached the guest room, and Severus stopped and turned to his Godson. Warily, he softened his gaze and nodded, "I know your father would be disappointed in you defying the Dark Lord, but…I am proud that _you_ eventually did. You are not your father. Be grateful for that. "

Draco nodded, "I still feel like I betrayed him, though. Even though I didn't really have a choice. You _know_ that."

"I understand. _Truly_. You were given a near-impossible choice. Even before you received the Dark Mark, "Severus stumbled to the guest bed, and sat down. Reaching into his cloak, he pulled out a small vial of antidote and downed the murky liquid. He closed his eyes, as he felt the potion work slowly to the wound but giving him just enough of a relief to function. Despite that, the wound still stung. He wondered what the implications of using an antidote - such as this one - long-term would be. In all honesty, it was not wise to do so.

"I'll let you be. Goodnight." With that, Draco left the room, and Severus retrieved his wand, and flicked it at the door, closing it immediately.

Severus sighed. What the hell was he going to do? He had no real plan. No real direction this time. For once in his life, he was not taking orders from someone else. From now on, the decisions he made will be his own. Here he was taking refuge at Malfoy Manor, and he knew very well that he could not stay for too long. He was being hunted by the Ministry – He even considered giving himself up. But the man knew that he could be of better use helping the Ministry capture the rogue Death Eaters. He may still be sentenced by affiliation and his past crimes, but it would have given him the peace of mind that he needed. Knowing he betrayed the Dark Lord, the Death Eaters will surely want to execute the man for his treachery. Either way, he could not escape punishment from either side. To Severus, death by Death Eater seemed like a better way to go than sentenced to life in Azkaban. There will be no light sentence.

Slightly stressed by his new dilemma, he reached into his robe pocket and retrieved the torn photo of Lily, which he stole from Grimmauld Place. He watched as her moving form smile – He knew the other side of this torn photograph contained a baby Harry and James _bloody_ Potter, but it was her smile that gave him some peace of mind. She was the centre of it all. Everything he did, he did for her. Whether his Slytherin friends mocked him for it, he dedicated his life to fight for her. No matter how often James Potter and his Gryffindor misfits made his school life a living hell – He still fought for her. Even long after her passing.

His world was slowly crumbling again – And suddenly he regretted ever giving Harry Potter those extra memories. Now everyone knows _why_ he did what he did, and the thought of that absolutely destroyed him inside. He felt ashamed – No one could every understand the lengths he took to keep Lily's son safe from harm. Safe from the attempts of the Dark Lord. No one would ever understand why it meant so much to him. He gave up his adult life fighting for a child that was never even his. Perhaps in a perfect world, it could have been. In a perfect world, he would have been happy. _Free_. In a perfect world, Lily would have forgiven him before her death. In a perfect world, he would have still had his best friend – perhaps more - by his side.

_'You don't have children of your own, Severus, so don't give me orders on my own son.'_

It hurt Severus to think what would have become of him if things were different. How different would he have been if he were loved? If he was not a subject to be bullied ' _just for existing_ ' – From the words of James Potter. Even Lucius would have _never_ dared to jump to his aid, unless it benefit him. Even his own friends cared nothing for the hurt he experienced - he suffered in silence for years.

Neither of them knew how much that hurt him.

Severus placed the photograph down on the bedside table and buried his head in his hands. He should not be here. He should not even be alive. His existence put multiple lives at risk – and now due to his recent return, people are still in danger. Narcissa fears for her family. Draco feels he has no place anywhere. Harry Potter is a psychological mess, and Severus has no idea where to even begin with that.

And what the _devil_ was he thinking? Calling Harry by his first name. Never in all the years he has known the boy, has he ever slipped like that. He felt like a right fool. Harry even admitted himself – he could never completely forgive him. Severus knew that, and yet coming from the Golden Boy, it stung the man more than it should have.

Perhaps Potter was right – He should have just left and never returned. Faked his death like he should have. He was not even sure what he hoped to gain from showing up to battle for one last metaphorical middle finger to the Dark Lord. But he did admit, the Dark Lord's face upon his return was enough to satisfy him for eternity.

Albus left him a near-impossible task. That old fool had it easy. A mercy killing. Oh, what Severus would have given to trade places with him.

"Here you go, Severus, "The wary Potions Master was almost startled by the voice of Narcissa, who entered the room carrying a tray of warm food. The food smelled lovely, but he felt far too poorly to even attempt to eat anything. She placed the silver tray on the table, and Severus noticed a teardrop-shaped vial with sapphire-coloured Potion within. He arched his eyebrow.

Narcissa gave him a small smile, "I don't have much left within my stores, but I found something for pain relief. I figured you needed it."

"Thank you, Narcissa. I shall re-stock your inventory tomorrow. If there is anything you need, allow me to assist you."

"I appreciate that. Bella cleared out my stores before she left…" Narcissa looked at Severus sadly. At first Severus frowned at the woman, and then realisation hit him. She had perished within the battle. That explains why she was not present here at the Manor - She often hung around like vermin.

"Ahh - I see, "Severus looked grim. He cared nothing for that deranged woman. She never trusted him, and he never trusted her. He could not pretend that he cared, as Narcissa already knew that they never got along. But if anything, Severus still had sympathy for Narcissa for losing a sister to a dark regime that destroyed all their lives.

Narcissa hung her head, "Also my apology - About having no children. That was highly insensitive of me."

Severus didn't say anything at that comment, and Narcissa knew that hit a sensitive nerve with the man. He couldn't forgive her for that.

"Get some rest, "Narcissa turned on her heel, and left the room, shutting the door behind her, respectively.

Severus welcomed the silence once again. Picking up the potions vial, he downed the analgesic elixir. The taste was foul, but he much preferred a shot of hard liquor. It was not a strong potion – he already made that assessment upon its hue, but it was all he had to give him a decent night's rest. He could only hope that he got more than four hours of sleep this time.

Slowly standing up from the bed, he removed his torn and bloodied travelling cloak – Most of the blood came from Potter and the horrific injury he sustained with his own spell. _Sectumsempra_ was a gruesome spell he created in his youth, but the effects afterwards were devastating and often permanent. It was his signature spell in battle, so it was no surprise that some dunderhead of a Death Eater tried to mimic it. He threw the cloak over the small black-leather armchair in the corner, and then gently began to unbutton his dress suite top, being careful not to aggravate the ghastly wound on his neck. Once he was done, he kicked off his mud-caked shoes, placed it neatly beside the chair, and slipped right into bed.

The analgesic he consumed worked quicker than he anticipated, and once drowsiness began to settle in his exhausted and battered form, he finally drifted to sleep.


	11. Rise Up

**NOTE: FYI This chapter was incredibly sad to write.**

**I also wanted to give you guys a heads up – From a canon point of view, it is uncertain as to the exact deaths of those 'fifty' who died in the Battle of Hogwarts. I've had to comb through a few names and I made the decision to outline some of the probable deaths, based on lack of canon information in the aftermath of the Battle. Some, we obviously know. But the extra names I've added below are simply personal speculation based on the information I could find. It does not impact the story a hell of a lot, but I also wanted to outline the devastation of the lives that were lost.**

**Also, this Chapter caused me a bit of grief to write +_+**

* * *

CHAPTER 11: Rise Up

"Harry, what do you think? … _Harry_?"

Harry Potter blinked as he snapped his mind back to reality. He realised he had missed half the conversation, as they sat in front of the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room in the early hours of the following morning. Whilst he could hear the voices of Hermione, Ron and Ginny within the room, his own mind was elsewhere, and he found himself tracing over the rough scars of the injury he sustained in the previous evening. The sealed wounds on his right arm were sore, but left quite a significant scar on his pale skin once Hermione insisted, she lather on the murtlap essence she took from Snape's office. His arm was still throbbing with pain.

Once he finally registered his name being called, he looked up to find Hermione staring right up at him.

"…Yeah?" Harry blinked.

Hermione glanced hesitantly at Ron and Ginny, and then looked back at Harry. "Did you hear what I said?"

Harry shook his head.

"I said - we'll send out a message to the other DA members and find out who is interested in helping us."

Harry was tempted to say something rude in response to that but gazed up at Hermione with a worried look on his face. He hated this plan.

Ginny, who was sitting beside him, placed her hand within his and clasped them gently, "We can handle this. We'll just use the coins and see who shows up. It's not like we are forcing anyone to come back."

"I still think we should inform McGonagall about it – After all, we can't have a dozen of us go _unnoticed_ within the school, "Hermione suggested. "She'll know something is up."

"Yeah, because she'll totally allow us to go on recon missions, and stage guerrilla attacks on the rest of the Death Eaters, "Ron said, sarcastically. "She'll have our head for sure."

Ginny grinned, "Well, that's not a bad idea. I'm down for that. With or without McGonagall's word. What is she going to do? Put us in detention? Expel us? "

Harry felt uncomfortable with the entire idea, "They are all in hiding. The only way they are going to reveal themselves if they find their target. In which case, it's still me. It's the Battle of Hogwarts all over again. I told you, this is a bad idea. Let the Ministry handle it this time."

"You just said it yourself. Let us bring them out into the open - We'll force them out of hiding," Ron shrugged, "I don't know about you, but I don't fancy going back out there again looking over my shoulder every day."

"They are still taking hostages and killing people, Ron. What's to stop them from taking someone we know? Could be another student. Their family. _Your_ family…" Harry debated fiercely.

"All the more reason to put an end to it, don't you think?" Ginny said. "Harry, you were the one who _wanted_ to do something about it in the first place. Now that we offered to help, you are completely dismissing the idea?"

Harry sighed, and released Ginny's hand, "I _know_ what I said." He ran a frustrated hand through his messy hair. "Whatever - Fine. If we do this, we need to be careful. We can't be reckless."

" _Blimey_ , the tables really have turned with you, "Ron smirked.

"Is it so wrong of me to feel this uneasy about it? I seem to be the only one here struggling with that idea. After everything that's happened."

Hermione shook her head, "No, of course not, Harry."

"Good," There was an awkward silence for a few moments between the four, which made Harry even more uncomfortable. "I want to go back to Grimmauld Place."

Hermione was getting frustrated with him, "It's _far_ too dangerous to be there right now. Besides, the _Fidelius_ Charm is broken, remember? Death Eaters could be using it for all we know."

"Then we'll take it back."

"Harry, McGonagall wants you safe within these walls, "Hermione was growing more frustrated with him.

"Yeah, I honestly don't care, "Growing more agitated, Harry stood up and started pacing the room, "I can't stay here. I just bloody _can't_. I see enough ghosts when I walked these halls, and I'm not talking about the ones you can see. Everywhere I turn, I just see…death. Don't any of you? Every where I turn is a reminder of what we all lost. You can't expect me to pick up where we left off, because nothing is the same anymore."

"And yet we keep going. We have to, "Ginny interjected, sadly, "I lost my brother that day, Harry. But then I think back to their memory, and then I realise that Fred would not have wanted us to stop and wallow in self-pity despite all that. Of _course_ his loss is devastating to me. And the rest of us. It hurts that he is not here with us now. But I fight for _him_ , and everyone else we lost that day."

Ron nodded, "She's right. Stopping now doesn't seem right. We don't know how many of those Death Eaters are left – After what we saw last night, you can't expect us to just ignore that? I made the mistake of leaving you and Hermione in the forest that day, because I was angry and had enough. Eventually I knew how much of a terrible idea that was, and it still _kills_ me to even think back on that. I still _hate_ myself for it. Don't make that same _bloody_ mistake I did."

"Like you said, Harry. We'll approach this carefully this time and come up with a plan. After all, they know we are onto them. They'll want to continue to retaliate, "Hermione explained, "I want to be with my parents – But even they may be in danger still. _We_ are all still in danger."

Harry paused as he listened to their reasoning. Ron was right – the tables really have turned with him. Perhaps he did not want to admit that he needed help and could not do it alone. He wanted to keep him friends safe and protected – He did not want them involved. But admittingly, they were all right in banding together one last time. It was not over – The Death Eaters were very much still a threat, even despite their diminished numbers. And if they are targeting high-risk people, what will stop them from hurting, kidnapping, or murdering more of their own as a last hurrah? They would not go down without a fight, and neither should they. They all displayed very valid points; Harry could not deny that. Either way, they were still more than willing to put their lives back on the line, and Harry still felt guilty about that.

Harry looked at his friends, "Let's summon Kreacher – He'll be able to tell us what's happening there."

"Oh, of course!" Hermione nodded slowly, "Alright. It's a start." Collectively, the others nodded their head.

Without waiting for further approval, he called out for Kreacher. They waited for a few moments – but nothing. No sound of him Apparating within the room. No sound of his familiar deep drawled voice. Looking back at the concerned faces of his friends, he called out again. Still nothing. Not even the appearance of another elf in his place. There was silence within the room while they waited nervously for some sign of the familiar old house elf. It was rare for any house elf not to immediately respond and that thought alone sent Harry's nerves on edge.

Once he realised their new predicament, he cleared his throat, "Well that settles it, then – We'll do it. Let's get our Headquarters back."

Nodding, Hermione rummaged through her beaded handbag until she retrieved an ornate golden coin. As she held hers up, whilst Ron and Ginny retrieved their own within their pockets and held it up in unity, sharing the same curious smile as each other. Harry couldn't help but feel amused by this – All three of them were more than ready to unite Dumbledore's Army once again, except him. They had always been ready. It was Harry who was reluctant, but the more he saw the eagerness within his friends, the more they inspired him to do something about it. With a defeated sigh, Harry dipped into the pocket of his jeans, and pulled out the master coin that Hermione bestowed the _Protean_ Charm with, allowing the coin to link with the rest.

Raising his coin so the others could see, he looked to each of his friends, "Are you sure about this? We have to be _absolutely_ sure."

"Abso-bloody-lutely, Harry, "Ron said sarcastically, and that caused Hermione and Ginny to burst out laughing. "I think we've more than earned our group a promotion from learning defence spells in secret, to using them to duel and capture dark wizards. "

"At least we have a good Minister on our side this time, " Ginny agreed.

Suddenly, the tension in the room disappeared and was filled with incredible warmth that Harry had missed and longed for. This felt like old times. Before the war. Before Voldemort's return. A time when they did not have to worry about being attacked by the darkest wizard of all time and his blind henchmen. A time when Harry had more confidence within himself and was not marked to be the sole wizard to defeat Voldemort. Harry was done wallowing in self-pity and needed something to distract him from the sadness that was constantly building up within his very core. He needed to stop reminiscing of things he could not change and focus on the fight still going. It was not truly over yet, and he knew that deep down. He only hoped that this was not a bit mistake on his part.

Retrieving his wand, Harry tapped the coin and spoke the incantation needed to send its message. Almost immediately, the coin pulsated within his palm, and numbers appeared on its surface. Simultaneously, the remaining trio in the room received the same message, and the new time and date was shared with the rest. Satisfied with the task, it was a waiting game to see who was willing to return. After everything, Harry was not expecting a crowd. He understood if they did not, and he could not blame them for ignoring the call. They lost multiple DA members that day, and that alone would have become a massive turn-off for them to come back, knowing some of their own had sacrificed their lives.

But the next thing Harry was worried about – The Room of Requirement. Their previous run-in with the magical room had been destroyed by Fiendfyre during Harry's attempt to destroy Ravenclaw's Horcrux diadem. The room was known to repair itself when needed, but he could not be sure if there was ever a time when it no longer would. Harry was not convinced that the Room was gone – Time and time again, it would return another form. Hogwarts was repaired and now still standing. Surely the Room would have been protected by its collective wards and magic imbued within its ancient wards.

The four Gryffindors made their way to the seventh-floor corridor and towards the wall in which the doors would usually appear. They stood there for a while, feeling uneasy with each passing minute when the doors failed wot reveal itself. Harry looked at his friends with obvious worry plastered across their faces.

Concerned, Hermione broke the silence in a quiet whisper, "I sure hope we didn't break the room. "

Ron shrugged, "I wouldn't be surprised if the Room is finally done with us, to be honest."

Harry shook his head and stared intently at the wall before him, trying to echo Snape in clearing his mind. _Come on, Room. Sorry we broke you earlier, but we could really use your help again. We need a secret space…Please._ They waited again, but still nothing. Harry walked closer to the wall, waiting for any sign of indication that the Room was still accessible. _We need to reassemble to stop the remaining Death Eaters._

"Hey Room, open up! Don't be stubborn now, "A familiar voice echoed through the hall behind them and Neville Longbottom walked hastily down the stone corridor to reach the others. Harry turned around to face him, when they heard a low grumble from the blank wall and suddenly, the familiar black lattice doors began to appear.

"Neville, you legend! That Room loves you!" Ron grinned. "Bloody brilliant, that is!"

Neville looked smug, "The Room and I have history. "

Ginny grinned, "We are so glad you made it!"

Neville held up his coin with excitement, "Of course I'd be here. I couldn't believe it at first! Thought I was imagining it. I almost dropped my Gran's teapot."

"Yeah, it was a…err, last minute decision, "Harry explained. "Wasn't sure who'd be interested in coming back, after everything…But, it's important that we did."

The Gryffindors, led by Harry, entered the black decorative double-doors and a collective gasp emanated simultaneously. The Room looked exactly as it did when the DA meetings first began, and suddenly, Harry was reminded of the early days when all they had to worry about was sneaking behind Dolores Umbridge's back. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. The Room of Requirement was incredible - And untraceable. It was the saving grace during the Death Eater reign at Hogwarts, and it harboured the students in order to protect them from the wrath and torture from the Carrows. Now, it looked different, and it had reverted to the mirror-lined walls, tall ceilings, and gold embellishments that they were all too familiar with. Only a small difference was noticed – Large multiple crimson-coloured pillows were arranged on the floor in a circular pattern. Hovering above, were ornate blue lanterns which were emitting a beautiful glow overhead. The Room was asked to prepare for a meeting, and it provided. It looks cosy and welcoming – And Harry was glad to be back.

Harry felt a new surge of excitement as they walked further inside, with his friends close behind.

"Blimey!" Ron was aghast, and most likely on the same thought train as Harry.

The entry doors swung open again, and Luna Lovegood walked inside with a smile. She took a few moments to gaze around the room in awe and wonder and gave a small sigh to herself before she noticed the other people in the room. Her bright blue eyes were wide in anticipation, "I must say, your timing is rather impeccable. I had my coin buried in my garden for good luck a few days ago. Then it rained, and it reappeared. Quite extraordinary. "

As the morning progressed, more and more students began to show up and fill up the cushions on the ground. Their sombre faces were apparent as they walked in, and Harry acknowledged that this meeting will not start on a happy note. It has been almost two weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts ended, and the events were still far too raw in everyone's minds. Since then, everyone had dispersed and tried to rebuild their lives as they all came to terms with loss, and trauma, and the horrors that they have had to witness since Death Eaters infiltrated the school. It was extremely difficult for everyone to be here.

Harry watched as more familiar faces found their seat, although he did notice that there were many who chose to ignore the call. He understood – He would have felt the same too. As the students wandered inside the Room, he saw some of them console each other. The Gryffindor realised that many of them had not seen each other since the Battle ended – If any, this meeting felt more like a wake _and_ a reunion. Suddenly the awe of the revived Room disappeared from his mind and was replaced by an inherent sadness.

Hermione rummaged through her bag and pulled out the original Dumbledore's Army list with a spare quill, and soberly placed it on the newly appeared table behind her.

Already seated were Katie Bell, Seamus Finnigan and Hannah Abbott. Dean Thomas and Susan Bones were shuffling to find a spot, as the Parvati twins and Lee Jorden followed soon after. Eventually arriving was Cho Chang, Dennis Creevey, and Angelina Johnson, and the only one that Harry understood would not show up, was George Weasley. Once Neville, Luna, Hermione, Ron and Ginny sat down, the room was silent as they watched Harry Potter take his seat at the front besides Ron. Harry struggled to look up at the familiar faces gazing up at him – He could only share their devastated gazes as he paused to find the right words. He was struggling.

Eventually, he mustered up the courage to speak but his voice was hoarse, "I know this meeting may have come as a surprise for you…After everything that has happened, I don't blame you for wanting to ignore it. "Harry swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat, as his heart began to race again, "We lost a lot of people that day. It is…difficult for us all. "

Harry looked down at his hands and noticed that they were trembling slightly. He drew in another deep breath, and looked back at the group, still silent and watching. "Words cannot express how _proud_ I am of all of you. You didn't have to stay and fight, but you _did_. Hogwarts is still standing because of you. Those we lost, would have been proud of you, too. "

There were a few sniffles in the room, and he noticed that many of them were huddled against each other in reassurance. The Parvati twins were silently weeping together, while Dean Thomas had a comforting arm around Susan Bones. Cho Chang was sitting alone, but her head was buried in her hands as tears streamed down her face. Ginny was leaning up against her brother Ron, and Hermione's eyes welled up with tears. Harry could not find a single person in the room unaffected by the tragedy they all experienced together.

He was not alone.

Respecting the sombre silence, Harry gently withdrawing his wand, and raised it shakily up over his head, lighting it up with _Lumos_. Holding back tears, Harry continued, "I want you all to raise your wands for those we lost amongst us. "As soon as they watched Harry, one by one, each of the students retrieved their wand and lit them simultaneously, as their collective lights were raised in the air in respect to the fallen. "To our fallen friends and family in the DA – Fred Weasley. Lavender Brown. Colin Creevey. Michael Corner. Anthony Goldstein. Earnie Macmillan. And Alicia Spinnet."

Harry could feel a tear trailing down his cheek, "And to all others who we lost within Hogwarts. Students, and teachers, and allies…They all gave their lives to protect us all. They will never be forgotten."

There was a moment of silence, as everyone in the room sat there with their wands raised. Harry could hear a few of them crying, and he closed his eyes as the weight of the last few weeks plummeted down onto his chest. His anxiety was increased tenfold, and he had to bite back the urge to weep. He just could not do it front of them. The sadness in the room was almost suffocating. The collective grief was heartbreaking, and he could feel the devastation of that immensely.

Once he could take the silence no more, he extinguished his wand light, and placed it back in his pocket. Soon after, everyone else slowly followed suite without a word. Harry drew in another deep breath and gently released it, as so to settle his racing heart, "There are a few things that I want to address. I understand it is hard for you to be here, and I completely respect that. I appreciate you all being here. However – The next thing I want to ask is completely your choice, and I don't expect you to stand with me on this. You may have already heard that there were a group of Death Eaters who were unable to be captured at the end of the Battle. They are going after anyone who opposed them - Even their own. Right now, we are still treading on dangerous ground. And a few of us have decided we want to keep fighting and help the Ministry in finding the last of them…"

Suddenly, there were multiple voices speaking at once in protest, and Harry found it difficult to concentrate amongst the rising voices. "Just hear me out, okay? I don't like this any more than you do, but it's only a matter of time until they come after us again. I want to finally end this, and like I said, I don't expect you all to support us on this -"

"- You're barking mad! After what we've just been through, you want to send us out again? "Seamus was the first to speak out.

"Harry, we've done enough, "Angelina Johnson spoke as she wiped a tear from her face, "What more could we possibly do?"

Harry nodded, "I get it. I know. Like I said, I am not expecting you all to join me. I want to end this. If anything, this is a call to arms." Desperate, he looked to Hermione for some intellectual moral support.

"We understand if you want to be with your families - This is merely of interest. Since the loss of majority of the Order of the Phoenix, we've chosen to step up and assist them, "Hermione explained. "We want to ensure everyone's safety."

"Blimey, we are not going to send you all on dangerous missions," Ron interjected, "And for the record, we are not looking for active participation. If you do, then great. Otherwise we want to know that if we do need help, that you will have our back. That's all."

"So, we have a choice?" Padma Patil said quietly.

"Of course, you do. You all have a choice, "Harry nodded. "A previous Order headquarters was compromised. We want to re-claim it as a base, and use it as a safehouse when needed. It won't be here."

Lee Jordon looked confused, "What did you mean by 'active participation?'"

Harry looked at Ron, then back at Lee as he took over the question, "Meaning, you don't have to fight on the frontlines. If you want to help, but don't want to fight, you can help us by trying to seek out information. Keep an eye on other newspapers, or sources of information, that may help us to uncover where they are hiding out or planning. Every bit helps. We need valuable intel."

"We don't want to force you into something that you don't want to do, "Hermione retorted, "Alright? I left the original sign-up list behind me, so for those interested in helping, can indicate in doing so. As mentioned – it's purely your choice."

There was a silence amongst the group, and slowly, there were a few nods. They did not look all that convinced, and Harry felt like they just wasted everybody's time. They were not as enthusiastic as Harry expected, but after everything, but could he blame them? One by one, the DA members left except for Seamus, Dean, Katie, Neville and Luna. There was a sombre shuffle, and soon enough the meeting was over.

Dean approached the others with Seamus by his side, "Harry, I'm keen to help. You're right, we can't just do nothing."

Beside him, Seamus looked rather moody, but eventually he nodded in support of his best friend, "Frankly, I think it's completely mad that you decided to do this. But I suppose I can help out if you need."

Katie Bell nodded, as she joined them, "I'm with Seamus on this one. I'd feel terrible if you went about it by yourselves – Count me in. Let's go get 'em."

Harry was relieved, "Thanks. I know it seems like an impossible and selfish request, but…we could really use the help."

Shaking her long blonde hair, Luna tilted her head towards Harry, "It's not selfish, Harry. Quite noble, actually. I'd be happy to help. After all, I'd most likely be sitting alone at home - Chess is awfully boring by yourself."

Harry hesitated at the comment, and nodded in acknowledgement, "Thanks Luna." He turned to the others, "Right now, I want to re-establish headquarters. It had a _Fidelius_ Charm previously, but that was since compromised. The house elf there is not responding to my call."

"So, what would you like us to do?" Dean asked.

"For now, we'll handle Grimmauld Place. What we need are eyes elsewhere. Hogsmead. Diagon Alley – Though, I'd suggest keeping away from Knockturn Alley for the time being. "

Dean nodded, "Alright. We'll see what we can find out. I wonder if the Leaky Cauldron is still open. "

"Just…stay vigilant, okay?" Harry warned them.

Hermione glanced over at the DA list she left on the table and was disheartened to see that several members had left behind their coins.

Ron followed her uneasy gaze and shrugged, "Well, we tried. We can't force them. For now, we are enough."

"Until we're not," Harry turned to the remaining members.

Deciding that it was time to put back the effort into the DA again, Harry began to formulate tasks for the members still eager to help. There was still much to do, especially as they had no real direction as far as tracking them, goes. He knew for a fact that something had happened at Grimmauld Place and taking it back within their grasp was on the top of their list of priorities. Second on Harry's personal list, was to find out where Snape went. After the fight down in the Forbidden Forrest last night, the ex-Death Eater failed to show up back to Hogwarts after he made sure the young children and the Gryffindors were safe within Hogwarts. But Harry could not help but worry if he had been discovered. Surely not – The man avoided detection as a double-agent for years. If anyone could avoid being seen or recognised, it was Severus Snape.

Hermione had come up with a brilliant idea to charm the gold coins as an emergency beacon in case anyone ran unto unnecessary trouble. To alert the other members, one would hold the coin in their palm, and chant _Mitto_ _Auxilium_ to activate the coins and emit a small charge to the other coins. Much like the master coin displaying a time and date, it will appear with a name, and the magical charge which can allow the user to Apparate to their location, or close enough, depending on the surrounding enchantments and wards. Much like a magical one-way pull.

Once Harry was satisfied enough with their additional team, he sent Dean, Seamus and Katie to Diagon Alley to scope out the situation there, while Neville, Luna and Ginny decided to investigate Hogsmead and attempt to uncover any suspicious activity. There was an exceptionally high chance that no dark wizard will be lurking in those two locations, but they had to start somewhere. For all they knew, they could be posing as the locals, or using the Imperious Curse or Confundo Charm to keep their location concealed from other bystanders. There was a multitude of ways they could be keeping themselves hidden, and it would be extremely easy for them to induce fear amongst those who did not want to fight, or too afraid to. Fear makes one incredibly vulnerable.

Throughout the afternoon, the Trio converged in the now eerily empty Library at Hogwarts to discuss ideas upon breaking back into Grimmauld Place. Never in their right mind would they have ever considered the possibility of discussing a home break-in, but here they were, doing just that. Harry suddenly felt like a criminal – This idea felt just as terrible as trying to break into Gringott's Bank. Without the urgency of the Horcrux's, breaking into a home – specifically one that was owned by Sirius Black – was absolutely insane. But on the thought of his Godfather, it was an even bigger incentive to get that home back into his possession. After all, everything Sirius owned now belonged to Harry since his death. He would be damned if it let it be taken by Dark Wizards.

Eventually, the others returned from their delegated locations, and discussed what they could.

Diagon Alley was still deserted – According to Katie, there were a few people inside the shopfronts, but presumably there for the clean-up and repairs. Despite that, it was still rather eerie to be there without the usual crowds of families and students preparing for the school year. The Leaky Cauldron was not as empty as they expected. Though they did not blame the locals for wanting to get drunk on Firewhiskey to drown out the anxiety and their troubles signifying the end of the war. With Harry's warning, they avoided Knockturn Alley, and they decided to scope that location out when they were more prepared. Hogsmead was essentially the same - However those who still resided there had been warned of the dark wizards on the run, so many locals were too frightened to leave their homes. The Three Broomsticks was practically deserted – Not even Madam Rosmerta could be seen. Neville and his group concluded that she may have abandoned post – possibly for fear being targeted. The famous bar was destroyed in its interior, but they could not gather if that was a recent attack. Quickly deeming that location unsafe, they relayed that information back to the others at Hogwarts.

Ron and Ginny returned home to the Burrow to check in with their family. Least of all, they did not want Arthur or Molly to worry about their whereabouts. Ron decided that they try and coax their father into spilling some information that they could deem valuable, and Ginny was concerned about leaving George at home alone to grieve the loss of his twin.

Concerned, Hermione Granger decided to make a visit home and make sure her parents were safe. Even despite the wards and disillusionment charms she placed on the house, the thought of the looming threat still caused her feel incredibly uneasy.

At this point, Harry remained in the library with a large tome on _Revealing the Unseen_ , when he was visited by wisps of familiar blue-white light in the shape of a doe. Placing down the quill he was using to write down notes on the parchment beside him, he turned his attention to the Patronus in his company.

A familiar deep drawl emanated from the gentle creature, "Potter. Meet me immediately by the Thestrals. Ensure the Cloak is with you." Once the message was received, the doe's smoky form dissipated.

Harry wasn't sure if he was relieved or concerned by Severus Snape requesting his presence, but sensing the urgency within the message, he made a detour to his dormitory bed to retrieve the Cloak, and headed back downstairs to meet with the man again.

The Gryffindor had an idea.


	12. With Asphodel

**NOTE: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I am always interested to hear your thoughts on my take of these characters.**

**ENJOY! I had a lot of fun writing this one.**

* * *

CHAPTER 12: With Asphodel

As Harry left the grounds of Hogwarts, dusk began to settle. There was a faint light as the sun began to dip low in the horizon, but there was still enough light to see the path ahead. The Invisibility Cloak was swung over his head, as he moved gratefully undetected, avoiding the gaze of the Auror guard sentries in view. Feeling a slight chill in the air, he zipped up his jacket to his neck, and withdrew his wand in caution. The Forbidden Forest was always unpredictable.

He made his way along a different path this time, as he entered the Forest, and made a beeline to the clearing where the Thestral herd were usually grazing. Harry was relieved to have a meeting place he was familiar with. It was not a frequent hang out for the Gryffindor, but he was known to bump into Luna Lovegood here on occasion. Like her, he was always fascinated by the creatures. Despite their morbidity in nature, they were highly misunderstood creatures. Menacing in their dark skeletal appearance, they were actually quite gentle beasts. Once a person was able to get over the initial shock of finally being able to see them, they became even more intriguing.

A part of him used to wish that others could see them too. But he would have never in his right mind think that it would take an entire war to make that happen.

He edged closer towards the small clearing in the centre of thick canopy of twisted old yew and oak trees and spotted the moving forms of the herd of Thestrals ahead. A small foal cantered up to Harry and pressed its snout against Harry's sleeve, sensing the boy under its invisibility charm. Feeling safe enough, he removed his Cloak and reached out to the foal to pet its head.

"Sorry – I don't have any food for you this time. "Harry proceeded the scratch its head, as a few adult Thestrals wandered around the clearing, watching the boy in curiosity.

Hearing a light shuffle towards his left side, he raised his wand as and saw Severus Snape cautiously step out of the tree line and into the clearing. A faint glow of the dusk light illuminated the man's alarmingly sallow appearance. As Snape stepped out with his hands up, Harry lowered his wand immediately.

" _Never_ be so quick to lower your wand."

"Err… "Hesitantly, Harry slowly raised his wand again, and Snape frowned, unamused.

Pursing his lips together, Snape sighed, "Ask me something only I would know."

Pausing slightly to ponder that, Harry could not think of a single thing to ask.

"– Don't think too hard, Potter. You'll give yourself a headache."

Fighting the urge to snap back a usual sarcastic remark, he finally thought of something, "Okay, um – What was the first question you asked me in my first Potions lesson, when you unfairly interrogated me?" Harry was actually surprised he remembered that himself.

It was almost too dark to make out the slight smirk the man had on his face, but Harry could not work out if the man was pleased by the question or pleased at how much he tried to humiliate him during his first Potions class. "During your first Potions lesson with me, I asked – 'What would you get, if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?'"

Satisfied, Harry began to lower his wand, when gave the man a quizzical look. "Aren't you going to ask me a question?"

Snape gave Harry an almost unnatural snort, "I don't need to question you to know that you are, _undeniably_ , the real Harry Potter. In fact, I take pity in the poor sod who would ever want to impersonate you."

"Gee, thanks Professor." Harry felt quite hurt by that.

Snape gently crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, "So tell me, do you recall the answer I gave to that question?"

"The Potions question?" Harry accidently let out a small awkward laugh, "No, sir, I don't."

"And here I thought you were decent enough at Potions to at least know the answer - I retract that previous statement. Well…consider that your homework, Potter."

"You can't _seriously_ be giving me homework?"

Snape, appearing a little to pleased with himself, smirked at the defeated expression on the boy, "I expect you will have the answer by the next time I see you. The answer will be most useful to you."

Harry Potter clenched his jaw as his emerald eyes pondered over the new dressings over the man's neck wound. "How's the wound?"

Hesitating at the unexpected question, he instinctively prodded the thick bandage, tensing slightly from the sensitivity of the affected nerve pain, "Manageable. For now."

"Good", Harry nodded, not entirely convinced. It has been close to two weeks, and it was still causing problems.

"Extend your arm, Potter, "Snape outstretched his palm outwards, and it took Harry a few moments to realise that he wanted to see the boys wound from the attack in the Forest. Initially, the Gryffindor was going to refuse as not to cause a big of a deal, but he did not fancy getting on the man's bad side. Dealing with his rude wit was more than enough. Gently pulling up his sleeve, he raised the material all the way up to his shoulder. The wound itself was slightly damp, from a mixture of murtlap essence and exudate from the wound in its healing process. The wound itself looked rough – Although the lacerations had sealed up, it left a raw red scarring in traces of the crosshatch patterns on his arms. It was tender and sensitive, that even the cool breeze within the dusk night air was enough to cause Harry a little discomfort.

Gently holding onto Harry's wrist, Snape lit up his wand wordlessly with _Lumos_ , as he ran his careful gaze all around the wounds. He was thorough; he would give him that. As he watched the man trace over the wounds with his wand to observe, he noticed Snape's slightly guilty expression as the man's eyebrows crinkled, and his thin lips pursed together in deep thought. Eventually, the man spoke, "Continue using the essence, Potter. I'm afraid there is little I can do for the extensive scarring." Flourishing his wand, Snape conjured up a roll of soft bandages, and began to wrap it gently around Harry's arm, covering below his shoulder, to the boys wrist.

There was a brief pause, and Harry continued, "So…Hopefully you're here to tell me more than just assign me homework."

Snape nodded as he let go of Harry's wrist, watching as the Gryffindor pulled down his sleeve back over the new dressings on the wound. An adult Thestral walked up to Snape and gently prodded his snout at the man's robes. Reaching out with a slightly trembling pale hand, he ran his palm over the bony crevices of the creature's neck. The Thestral whinnied softly as he took a liking to the affection and stomped its right hoof to the ground under its feet. With that prompt, Severus removed a dull plum-coloured pouch from the side of his robes and reached inside – which Harry recognised as using an Extension Charm – and proceeded to pull out a piece of raw meat using his wand to levitate it. With a flick, Snape threw the piece of meat to the ground a few paces away and several other adult Thestrals, including the foal, wandered over to it. Snape threw several more pieces, before he turned back to the young Gryffindor.

Harry was fascinated by the man's affection and patience with the creatures, as he watched carefully as he interacted with them. He had never seen this side of the man before. Well, if there was any creature out there who suited the Potions Master more, were the Thestrals.

Oh, the irony of that.

Raising his wand, the man cast a _Muffliato_ Spell around them in order to conceal their conversations from any potential eavesdroppers, "An anonymous source made it known to me that a few escaped Death Eaters fled to a small property in Cokeworth. I believe it is still in use. "

"Cokeworth? That was in _The_ _Daily_ _Prophet_ the other day, right?"

"Correct. A small group of Aurors were ambushed there this morning in their attempt to appease the anonymous tips, though I am unaware of the casualties sustained. I believe the Death Eaters had the upper hand."

Harry frowned, "What's there that has the Death Eaters interested?"

Snape paused as he pondered the simple question, but his expression softened as he responded, "My residence. I had offered it to the Dark Lord previously as a safehouse."

"…Sorry, sir."

"No matter. It is one of many safehouses; most I am unfortunately, unaware of. I was only privy to a select few."

"Speaking of residences, I was going to ask – "Harry shifted uncomfortably, "We have plans to regain Grimmauld Place. The _Fidelius_ Charm was compromised, and we believe rogue Death Eaters may be using that, too."

" _Far_ too dangerous, Potter. It is _imperative_ that you remain in safe quarters for the time being, "Snape scoffed.

"I _need_ your help." Well. There it is.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We could use your help in gaining it back. I want to continue using it as headquarters – For the Order and the DA, "Harry pleaded.

Concerned, Snape leaned forward, "The Order of the Phoenix is finished. It is _over_. There is no one _left_."

"It doesn't have to be _over_ , Snape. And that's not true - There are still a few of us left. I want to keep it going."

"For _what_ purpose, Potter?"

Harry threw his hands up in frustration, "Like you, I can't just do nothing."

Snape looked warily at the Gryffindor and turned away to look at the Thestrals happily munching on the treats he delivered to them. Harry noticed he looked conflicted. Pained, even. There was a grim silence between the two. For a second, Harry regretted even telling the man. But he knew that he could really use his help, and for once in their lives, they can fight actively together on the same side. It was now possible. With his help or not, Harry was going to round up his friends and overtake Grimmauld place, but Harry revelled at the thought in allowing the man to fight by his side this time.

Finally re-gathering his thoughts, Snape turned back around to face the Gryffindor once more. He drew in a gentle breath, and looked back into Harry's gaze, "Alright." Snape's voice was barely a whisper. "If we are going to take back headquarters, we must do this properly _and_ on my terms. _Understood_?"

Harry nodded, "Okay." That already felt like a small weight of the boy's shoulders.

Expecting a harsh response, Snape appeared satisfied when Harry accepted without question. " _Good_. First, we must scope the premises for any falter in defences. I may be able to detect which charms they used to conceal it, but I will not know until we are there. "

Harry frowned, "We haven't been to see it yet. That was next on our priority for tomorrow."

Snape nodded, "I'm quite relieved to hear that, Potter. I will not allow you to go there unaccompanied by me. We visit tonight - Apparate close to the premises. Observe, then leave quickly. No _dawdling_ or waiting around like sitting ducks. Am I making myself clear?"

"Perfectly, sir."

"Good, "Snape clasped his hands behind his back, and observed Harry. He paused for a few moments before he continued. "There is one another thing I would like to address. Do you know how to send a message with your Patronus?"

Harry slowly shook his head, "No one has ever shown me how to. Didn't really have time to learn before things went sideways."

"Understandable, Potter. If you are willing, I would like to teach you. It is imperative that you know several other methods to contact another witch or wizard, _especially_ in dangerous situations. Should you ever find yourself needing immediate assistance, you can use your Patronus to signal another…Or contact me. If you need." Harry noticed Snape lingering on those last few words, seemingly hesitant with offering such assistance. Was the man ever intending to admit that? Either way, Harry appreciated the offer.

"That would be fantastic, sir. I'd be grateful for that," Harry appeared relieved, and he was very much surprised for this being one of the reasons he was contacted by the man tonight. Immediately, his thoughts wandered to his ill-fated Occlumency lessons, but eventually he settled on the idea of learning a proper important magical skill. One he knows he can utilise, and possibly teach someone else. But what surprised Harry the most, was grasping the concept of Snape being willing to teach him something. This was the second time in the last few days Snape had _willingly_ offered him anything, and he was not sure yet what to make of that.

"Retrieve your wand, "Snape, still clasping his, waited for Harry to do the same. Once the Gryffindor complied with the first request, the man continued, "You are aware of the method in which memories are _traditionally_ extracted, yes?"

"To the Pensieve?" Harry nodded, "Well, yes…Vaguely. I've seen Dumbledore do it. And you…" Harry felt uncomfortable finishing that sentence, remembering far too clearly of scrambling to retrieve Snape's memories in the form of his tears, during his horrific last dying moments. A moment still burned clearly within his mind, and he noticed Snape was also struggling with that memory. It was hard to believe he was standing across from the same man, still standing.

Tensely clenching his jaw, Snape's obsidian eyes glossed over as he hesitated, "Albus used the traditional method, yes. Mine, was…Never mind what _that_ was." The man paused again, until he resumed smoothly back into his usual teaching mode, "A Patronus is essentially the literal form of one _pure_ happy memory. Imbuing the Patronus with a message works almost the same way as extracting a memory for a Pensieve. Only visual difference is that that a Pensive memory appears like a wisp of white smoke. The message does not. Following so far, Potter?"

Harry nodded immediately, "So far."

Content with that answer, Snape nodded in acknowledgement and continued, "Your Patronus, once conjured, is still magically tethered to your wand. Once a Patronus is cast and its animal form is _complete_ , the user must be clear, minimal and _concise_ in their message. Keep in mind it is not a monologue, as a Patronus form has its own active duration. It is not a letter to be sent."

"Makes sense. How long has a Patronus been known to stay active?"

"It is subjective to the user. All depends on the strength of the memory, and Dementors in its vicinity. The longer you retain that same memory as to the casted Patronus, the longer its duration. But obviously, it gets more difficult to hold onto that specific memory when Dementors are attempting to suck out your soul."

"Charming. So, how do I cast the message?"

"Once the Patronus is fully cast – and I mean in its _complete_ form – Your wand must be raised to your temple, "Snape proceeded to demonstrate with his own wand, and held it there against his temple as he continued his explanation, "Your message must be verbalised _internally_. Spoken within your mind. A message is essentially private, thus should not be spoken aloud. The message transmits to the Patronus as soon as your wand leaves your temple. Still in the land of the living with me, Potter?"

Harry tried to stifle a laugh at the irony of the joke, but instead nodded with a subtle grin on his face, "Got it, sir."

"I'm impressed. This is the most attentive I've seen you during my years of teaching you."

"Well, it's you, me and the Thestrals. Safe to say I have your full attention when I'm not being hunted by Voldemort."

Snape winced, "Watch the name, Potter! … _Now_ , I want you to demonstrate." Turning on his heel, Snape wandered over to a considerable distance on the other side of the small clearing, his long traveling black cloak trailing behind him like smoke. He was far enough to hear someone yell, but a decent distance to attempt to send this message. Hopefully without screwing this up. He watched as Snape stationed himself in front of a tree, with his arms clasped behind him sternly, as he watched Harry and waited.

Hopefully patiently.

Pondering what kind of message he planned to send – and trying to keep it sarcasm free – He furrowed his brow in thought, as he gazed up at the wandering Thestrals hoping for some kind of inspiration. Not feeling completely confident, he managed to conjure his stag Patronus. At least he knew he was confident enough to currently do that, considering his almost failed attempt the night before. Thinking back to Snape's explanation of the message, he shakily positioned his wand to his temple.

He attempted to mumble something accidentally, until he heard a shout from Snape, "Your lips should _not_ be moving, Potter. Try again!"

 _Oops_.

He tried again. This time he accidentally lifted the wand off his temple before he finished the message. He swore under his breath.

" _Language_ , Potter!"

Feeling incredibly frustrated with himself, he re-conjured his Patronus and took a few focused breaths before he tried again. Raising his wand back to his temple, he closed his eyes to focus on this one message.

_Thank you for not giving up._

Was it risky? Very much so. Harry knew it was a message Snape needed to hear, but it was also a message he himself would be too anxious to admit again to him. He knew he thanked the man when he found him in a bad state at the Shrieking Shack, but there was no change in feelings there out of pity. Harry truly was thankful, even regardless of their rocky past. Despite everything, here they both were, alive and fighting together on the same side. In all the years he has known the man, never did he expect this to happen. Possibly, neither did Snape.

Harry watched as his stag bounded gracefully across the clearing towards the professor – His heart started to race again. He looked on as the stag began to deliver the message, and within his vision, he noticed Snape's expression change from his typical deadpan teaching-mode, to a man rocked with the emotion that Harry didn't expect the man was capable of displaying. Snape watched as the stag dissipated, and he glanced back at Harry, astounded by the unexpected message.

Feeling slightly sheepish, he watched as Snape made his way back over the clearing to join him and felt compelled to avoid his gaze the closer he reached.

Snape stopped across from Harry and paused again for a few moments before addressing him, "Congratulations. You passed." Harry could have sworn he saw a small smile on the corner of the man's face, but it was far too dark to tell now. Regardless of what he saw, Harry gave the man a small smile, and watched as Snape held out his arm, "It is best I take you by Side-Along Apparition, so that you are not led astray and appear elsewhere. Ready?"

Harry nodded and grabbed Snapes arm with his. Immediately, they were whisked away in black smoke, and suddenly, they re-appeared at the small park on the other side of the street across from number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Once they re-materialised, Snape quickly ushered Harry behind the old crumbling stone wall amongst the flower bushes. They waited a several minutes as a pair of Muggles walked across the pathway, and finally out of sight. Harry watched as Snape glanced behind and around them, taking in their darkened surroundings and making sure they were not seen.

They both watched the house for several minutes in silence, but Harry was unsure of what exactly they planned on doing. Snape leaned in Harry's direction, and dropped his monotone voice to barely a whisper, "Keep your wand at the ready in case of an attack."

Harry looked back at Grimmauld Place and could see no light on in the windows. It was difficult to tell what was going on in there, but sensing the strange magical pull in the air, it was obvious that there were several potent enchantments around the property. It felt like opposite magnets being repelled.

"I've never noticed the magical pull of the wards before, "Harry whispered, unable to peel his gaze from the house.

"A wizard can only feel the _static_ of magical wards when multiple wards are detected at one establishment. This one is particularly complex, "Still clasping his wand, Snape slowly raised it to eye-level and began to chant a series of incantations, none of which Harry could recognise. " _Claustrum_ _revelio_ … _Obex_ _apertum_ … _Ostendo_ _incantatem_ …" Harry watched as his professor drew sigils in the air with his wand, whilst he chanted – the Gryffindor was fascinated with the knowledge this man possessed. As cruel as he could be in his typical teaching methods, admittedly, he would have made a brilliant long-standing Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher due to the endless knowledge he seemed to have.

Once Snape completed this unusual ritual, Harry turned to question the man, "I thought we were going to wait to attack? Why did you bring them down?"

" _Shhh_ , lower your voice, "Snape ushered the boy to be silent, "The incantations I used were to _detect_ , not to remove. We are done here. Let us return to the Forest and I'll discuss it further with you." Snape held out his arm yet again, and Harry clasped onto it immediately, mere seconds before they Disapparated and reappeared back at the clearing with the Thestrals, who remained uninterested by their constantly moving guests.

Still holding onto his Professor as they re-appeared, he felt the man sway on the spot, and quickly looked up at his sullen face and noticed he started to appear ailing and pallid. Harry lit up his wand with _Lumos_ and watched as the colour drained from his face - Apparating clearly did not do the man any favours. Snape lightly shrugged him off his arm, and gingerly made his way to the base of the nearest oak tree. Harry watched him lean up against it, taking the moment to close his eyes and manage the surge of pain still evident on his face.

"Professor? I thought you said you had this managed?"

The Gryffindor watched as the man pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned to the boy and watched as Harry made his way beside him. "I thought so, too."

Harry sighed, "We have to get you help somewhere. Clearly those antidotes aren't working."

"Potter, I refuse to remain bed-ridden at St. Mungos, within the watchful eyes of Aurors guards who want my head. There is far too much to do."

"Once we get Grimmauld Place back, you are welcome to stay and use it as a safehouse…I can help you move your Potions station there, and we can figure something out…"

"I'm not supposed to be alive, Potter."

"Well neither should I, but I've dealt with that. You should to."

"Have you, now? _Clearly_ you have it all together, Potter."

"Does it look like I have it all together?! I barely have _anything_ together. Everything has changed."

Snape broke his gaze and looked away, "Yes. Indeed, it has."

Harry found himself fumbling with the wand still in his grasp, feeling the awkwardness in the situation they were in. There was still much animosity between the both of them built up for years, and it was not something you could just forget. He was not even sure how to approach the man half the time – Was he still a teacher? Childhood enemy? Bully? Ally? He was an odd mixture of all, and even if the man infuriated him at times, he could not help but harbour a certain amount of sympathy for him. Never would he have expected to feel any concern over the man's life, especially when, not long ago, he wanted the man dead when he was forced to kill Dumbledore.

But after the revelation of his deeper connection to his mother – everything changed. Now they both had a second chance to mend whatever pieces of their lives they could, no matter how broken they both still were. Perhaps they had hoped to deal with this themselves, but it turns out the only way they could truly deal with the aftermath of this war, was to make amends for past mistakes as best they could.

Almost sensing Harry's trailing mind, Snape broke the silence, "Potter, _why_ would you tell everyone about the memories? They were private."

"I told everyone what they needed to know. I didn't tell them of the…personal ones."

Harry heard the man sigh. He could tell almost immediately that he was not happy even with that decision. But it was true – Harry was not stupid enough to divulge sensitive information about the man's life and experiences to others who would not understand. The only people who truly knew the sequence of memories were Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Even he was hesitant at first to tell them, but of all the years they suspected Snape as being as terrible as Voldemort, he owed his friends that much of the proper truth. But even despite telling his closest friends, there were some details he decided to keep to himself.

As of how he felt about them. Well, that was another issue entirely, and he knew that not even his closest friends could truly grasp the weight of that.

Snape lightly cleared his throat, interrupting Harry's thoughts yet again. "These are my instructions. Listen carefully, Potter." Harry watched as he steadied himself back onto his feet once again. Snape straightened his cloak as he continued, "I will send a Patronus to you this time tomorrow, and you and your band of misfits will meet me in the same location we were previously. You are to arrive _with_ your Cloak in use, and you will not remove it unless it is safe to do so. Understood?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, okay…sir."

"Leave the wards to me. Now that I am aware of which barrier charms they used; I can deconstruct them."

"I'll inform the others."

Snape turned to stare at the Gryffindor. There was a time when he tried to be intimidating, but now that Harry was seventeen years of age, he was about the same height as the man. "Good. Wait _only_ for my message. I must leave – there is something else I need to attend to."

"Will…will you be alright?" Harry asked quickly, before he turned to leave.

Snape paused, and his usual cold-sterned expression softened. It appeared the man was about to respond, but instead, he pursed his lips and Apparated away, leaving Harry pondering on the possible answer.

Harry Potter eventually made his way back through the castle, now armed with a mission. And a way to contact the others – He was actually rather excited about this. Once he felt confident enough, it will definitely be high on his list of priorities to teach the other DA members. He had never really thought to ask one of the other Order members, but given how quickly things escalated, no one really had the time to teach him that skill so valuable. It could have surely come in handy when all hell broke loose.

The Gryffindor ventured back to the library and took his place in his original seat before he left that evening. It was strange being the monumental library by himself. No students chattering away, doing anything else but schoolwork. No Madam Pince yelling at them to keep the noise to a minimum. No Peeves the Poltergeist pushing books off the shelves, scaring the First Years. It was just him for a short while, and he must admit, the silence was rather welcoming.

During the Battle of Hogwarts, the Library was one of many locations to be heavily damaged. Although much of the room itself was eventually repaired, there were many books damaged and destroyed completely when the hall was set alight. There were a multitude of books which could be recovered, and he remembered how sad Hermione was when she found out about its devastation. Now, there were a noticeable number of books missing from its ceiling-high shelves, and to Harry, the library felt far too empty.

Harry happened to be deep into an advanced Potions book, when he noticed Hermione walking through the entry doors to join him, with Ginny by her side.

Hermione smiled at her best friend and took the seat opposite him. "Good, you are still here."

Noticing one of them was missing, Harry raised his eyebrow, "Where is Ron?"

Ginny spoke, as she set herself down in the seat besides Harry, "Oh, I left him with mum. I've been consoling her all day – His turn now." She noticed Harry reading a Potions textbook, and let out a small laugh, "Good heavens, Harry. You were not this dedicated when you were still in school. What could possibly be so exciting about Potions at a time like this?"

Realising it was slightly out of character for him, Harry shrugged, "I spoke to Snape earlier."

Hermione leaned in closer, dropping her voice, "He's here? In the castle?"

"No, I met him outside. He wanted to meet with me, "Harry looked up at Hermione, and then to Ginny, who looked interested. "He's going to help us take back Grimmauld Place."

Hermione beamed, "That's fantastic! We could really use his help."

"He'll send us a message this time tomorrow, and we'll meet him at the park, at Grimmauld."

Ginny grinned, "Those Death Eaters don't stand a _bloody_ chance, now."

"Let's just be thankful he is no longer one of the Death Eaters we'll have to fight in there, "Harry admitted. Well, it was true, "It'll be the four of us plus Snape for now, and I reckon we'll keep the others on standby in case things go south."

Hermione nodded in unison with Ginny, but slowly, a coy smile appeared once she realised Harry was still flicking through the textbook. "What _are_ you looking for, Harry?"

Harry had just found the page on Asphodel, when Hermione rose from her seat, to join Harry on his other side. "Well…"

"Oh Harry, we learned this in first year! _Honestly_ , you would thought after being interrogated by Snape with this in our first Potions lesson, you would have at least _researched_ it." Hermione looked frustrated with him, "Or at least bother to research the ingredients you actually use."

Harry shrugged, "He hinted that I go look it up. You know Snape - He obviously wanted me to know something and didn't want to tell me."

"But we _know_ asphodel is a type of lily used in the brewing of potions, most noticeably, the Draught of Living Death - which we brewed last year in Slughorn's class -, and other types of medicinal remedies…" Hermione trailed on.

"- Wait…A type of lily?" Harry's breath caught in his throat, as he paused on that statement. It did not take long until Hermione gasped in realisation.

"Oh!"

Biting her lip, Harry watched as Hermione hastily left her seat and wandered off towards one of the shelves further away from their desk, and after some time waiting, she returned with a few tomes in her grasp. Placing them gently, she sat back down next to Harry, and began to flip through a large tome on _Guide on a Thousand and One Flowers and Herbs._

"Perhaps you were looking through the wrong book, Harry, "Hermione flipped through the giant book, until she settled on the page reading _Asphodel_. Hermione traced her finger as she scanned the page, "According to this book, Asphodel – or _asphodelus ramous_ – Is a type of lily also known as Royal Staff. The ancient Greeks associated it with death and the underworld, believing there was a meadow of asphodel in the Elysian Fields after death. It was considered sacred to Persephone, the Goddess of Spring and the Underworld. It was also said to be a remedy for poison, most noticeably snake-bites, and – "

Harry's eyes widened, "Wait, what? It can be used in an _antidote_? Surely Snape would have known that when he had me brewing the _damn_ Potion with him…" Harry was furious. No wonder the potion did not seem very effective, even with using the Basilisk fang as a magical power-up. But again, Snape should have known that…Why did he leave that ingredient out?

Hermione continued, "In the Victorian flower language, the lily means…" She paused, as she placed her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp and read the passage again herself. "Oh, _Harry_."

Suddenly feeling worried, Harry tried to glance over at the page Hermione was looking at. "What is it, Hermione?"

She drew in a deep breath and turned to Harry, "It means, 'My regrets follow you to the grave."

The colour drained from Harry's face. "…So, what the hell does wormwood symbolise?"

Turning back to the book, Hermione flipped all the way to the back of the tome and found the page on _Wormwood_. Hermione looked saddened, as she began reading the passage, "And wormwood symbolises bitterness and grief. Putting both together…Harry….It's obvious, isn't it?"

Feeling slightly ill, he nodded, "Yeah. I know."

It was a coded message from his very first class. It was never truly a Potions question at all.

It was an apology.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE: Have been wanting to incorporate that last segment for a while now, and trust me, it was difficult to find ways for it to make any sort of sense. I absolutely love the symbolism in this, and its hidden meaning, which I find, is such a beautiful sentiment to Snape's character within the series, and I wanted to somehow weave that into this story. I had always hoped Harry would discover what that truly meant, because it would have answered a lot of questions for him. Nevertheless, it is super sweet. But also in this context, it does make for an interesting future conversations for both Harry and Severus. I did research the Harry Potter version of Asphodel and did my own research on Asphodel in the historical and mythological setting, along with reading up on the Victorian Flower language.**


	13. Fade In

**NOTE: T** **hings get a bit, err...explosive this Chapter. Sorry ^_^**

* * *

CHAPTER 13: Fade In

"Blimey, I'm freezing out here. Is he going to send us this bloody message, or not?" Ron furiously rubbed his hands together, as the group stood outside of the grounds just beyond the tree line of the Forbidden Forest.

"Cheer up, Ronald. I told you to bring your jumper, but you never listen to me. No wonder mum gets fed up with you all the time, "Ginny stood beside Harry with her arms crossed, as she watched Ron begin to pace around them.

"If you haven't noticed, mum's been a little on-edge lately."

"We'll you can't blame her. She still keeps calling George, Fred, and then breaking into hysterics. And with everything going on now, she almost didn't let dad leave for work this morning."

Watching as Ron look miserably at his sister, Harry was growing more anxious with every passing moment. He clutched his wand like a lifeline, and began to twirl it nervously, while waiting for that silver doe to finally makes its appearance.

Harry had spent the day going over the plan with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, in their preparation to take back Grimmauld Place. Admittedly, he was growing worried. What if they were discovered and the Death Eaters were waiting for them? What if there was more of them in there than they anticipated? Harry was legitimately scared of what they would discover in there when they finally broke in. And Kreacher…What had become of the old Black house elf?

Too many what if's for Harry to be even remotely comfortable with.

As more time passed, Harry could sense that something was not right. It was unlike the brooding Potions professor to be late, in any context.

Slowly, he turned to the others, "I think we should go."

Hermione frowned, "Snape said to _wait_ for his message."

"I know, but…This is Snape we are talking about. It's unlike him to be late, isn't it?"

"Well, maybe he was caught up in something else?" Ron interjected, finally paused his pacing to stand beside Hermione.

"You said he agreed to help, Harry, "Ginny said, "I mean, has he ever broken a promise?"

Harry shrugged, "I dunno. Something just feels…off. He would have sent me a message if there was any trouble, right? If something happened, he would have warned us."

"Unless, "Hermione said, as a matter-of-factly, "...He _wanted_ to keep you waiting."

Harry frowned, "He wouldn't…." He shook his head, as realisation started to dawn on his face. The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. "Oh, he _would_. Of course, he would." He changed a furious look with the others.

"He left without us?" Confused, Ron trying to understand what was being implied throughout the conversation.

"That's what they meant, you dunderhead, "Ginny playfully slapped her brothers' shoulder. "Maybe he didn't want Harry running off into danger, so he's going to do it himself?"

Fuming, Harry clenched his jaw, "That makes perfect sense. Quick, let's go now."

Without waiting for further confirmation, the group Apparated and re-appeared at the small park across the road from Grimmauld Place. The four stationed themselves at the crumbling stone wall, as they waited in silence, weighing up their options. There was no other movement to be seen, from their obscured view beyond the shrubbery. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary – well, _their_ ordinary. It was usually a quiet street, but they could see no sign of a magical disturbance, or anything that appeared out of place. But there was one thing that Harry did notice – There was now a dull light in one of the windows.

Still seething with the hindered plan, Harry outstretched his palm, and noticed that he could not feel what Snape described as static. The wards were definitely down. With his wand securely in his palm, he turned to the others and dropped his voice in a whisper, "He brought the damn wards down. He's definitely in there."

Without waiting for a response, even despite Hermione and Ron's verbal protests behind him, he bolted from his position and ran directly to the front door. The closer to the residence he went, the more he noticed. There was a sudden purple flash from the window, and once he reached the familiar black wooden front door, he could hear shouting from within.

Glancing quickly behind him, he saw Ron, Hermione and Ginny trailing with their wands at the ready. They noticed it too. Waiting for no other confirmation, Harry opened the door to immediate chaos. A spell exploded by his head the moment the door swung open, and he watched as several figures dashed passed the hallway in the far end, now aware of their new guests. He could hear a shout of hexes somewhere in the upper floors – It was Snape's voice.

Still incredibly angry at Snape for leaving them waiting at the Forest's edge, Harry channelled that energy and began firing spells at the two Death Eaters he could see. Hermione, Ron and Ginny were supporting him from behind, emitting a combination of hexes and shield spells to gain the upper hand. There was an incredibly loud and distracted chorus of screams and an amusing string of profanities emanating from the portrait of Mrs Black hanging on the wall beside them; a red velvet curtain covering her frame. Coupled with that, and the shouting of spells from all sides, the entire household was utter pandemonium.

Despite holes being blasted into the walls, Harry and his friends managed to push the enemy Death Eaters back, but as he regained a clearer view, he could see another fight happening upstairs. From his slightly skewed view, he saw the oddly hooded Potions professor duelling two other Death Eaters on the stairs leading to the upper floors.

From the adjoining rooms, and few more Death Eaters re-emerged to join the fray. Ron and Ginny broke off to battle the enemies hiding out in the kitchen, while Harry and Hermione continued to overthrow the ones lurking on the ground floor living room. One Death Eater was thrown in a full-body bind by Ron, while another was rendered unconscious from a _Reducto_ spell. The two other Death Eaters on that floor, however, managed to escape out of the front door. Once they had cleared the ground floor, they slowly made their way upstairs to join Severus Snape.

"Don't you run from me, _Macnair_!" Harry heard Snape bellow, and then heard a small blast overhead as the old chandelier from the top floor came crashing down on the staircase at ground level. Harry jumped backwards on the staircase as the glass exploded and shattered all over the floor, missing them all by mere inches.

"Says the filthy little traitor – All you do is run! You dishonour _his_ name!" There was another blast and Harry was certain he heard Snape swore.

Eventually arriving at the first floor, Harry finally had a proper visual on Snape battling a Death Eater – who he presumed was Macnair at this point, according to Snape. But Harry was more distracted by the ornate black and silver Death Eater mask the professor was wearing. The professor fired another blast at the man, which sent him dangerously to the other side of the first-floor corridor. Harry and Snape locked eyes for a brief moment, and the Gryffindor hoped that was ample enough time to show Snape how incredibly _livid_ he was at the man - Harry could not frown any harder.

The fleeting moment ended quickly when a curse shot overhead at the pair. Harry and Hermione entered the main grand living room to discover one more Death Eater there. Snape bounded up another flight of stairs to enter the second floor, while Ron and Ginny had a handle on Macnair. Harry almost forgot how big Grimmauld Place was. Once he presumed it safe enough, Harry retrieved the gold coin from his pocket, and gave a signal to Neville and Luna to give them some assistance. Once he was satisfied with the quick decision, he and Hermione ascended another flight of stairs to the next floor to join Snape, with Ron and Ginny close behind.

It did not take long for Harry to recognise the voices of Neville and Luna downstairs, which gave the Gryffindor much relief. This was what he had hoped for – Dumbledore's Army to rise again to the task, even long after the war was waged and essentially won. Although he realised how close he was to abandoning this rebel group earlier, he slowly started to envision the potential of keeping it going. Albus Dumbledore would have wanted it to continue – After all, they did name the group after him. With a new surge of adrenaline at the arrival of their reinforcements, Harry found himself completely skipping the second floor, and bounding up the staircase to the next floor with Hermione close behind.

It was like a dangerous messed-up game of Tag; almost comical if the situation wasn't so serious.

Once the third and fourth floors were cleared, Harry finally reached the dark and dusty attic at the very top, to find poor Kreacher bound to a chair in the centre of the room away from the small grime-covered window. Releasing the house elf from his magical restraints, he helped the old creature back onto his feet.

"Mr. Harry Potter – I had hoped you'd return again, "Kreacher croaked, as he gave Harry a curt bow.

Harry swallowed bitterly, "I knew something was wrong when you didn't answer my call."

"I could not hear it. Those nasty wizards obscured my magic."

"Kreacher, how long have the Death Eaters been here?"

Kreacher paused in thought before he continued in his raspy voice, "There weren't many at first, but after the war ended…A few more arrived to hide. I came back, and then I was ambushed."

"Did you see or hear anything while they were here? Any plans?"

"None at all. My apologies, Mr Harry Potter."

Harry nodded in understanding, but relieved to find the house else unharmed, "Never mind. I'm glad you are okay."

"Don't move! Stay right where you are!"

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny looked at each other quizzically, as they heard Neville's voice echo in the corridor below them. They raced downstairs to find Neville holding a wand to Snape – Who was still wearing his mask at the time, unawares to Neville.

"Put your wand down, you _silly_ boy!" With a flick of his wand, Snape removed the Death Eater mask which gradually melted off his sullen face like a shroud of smoke. His face neutral with his usual intimidating gaze.

Neville looked both mad and terrified, "YOU! Professor Snape!" He still would not lower his wand, but Harry could notice his hand trembling slightly. Harry forgot that Neville and Luna were unaware of Snape's re-emergence after the war, but he could completely understand Neville's reaction.

"Neville, just…" Harry started to speak, but really did not know what to say. He was just as angry with Snape at this point. Silently fuming, Harry turned to Snape angrily, not caring about the words that were about to come out of his mouth. "How _dare_ you just _leave_ us in the Forest – We _waited_ for you! YOU left us there!"

"You are far too gullible for your own good, Potter, "Snape's gaze remained impassive, unaffected by Harry's sudden outburst. The man barely blinked.

Harry's cheeks flushed as he continued, but appeared to get more fired up when he noticed that Snape didn't seem to care, "You can't offer to help me, or agree to when I ask, and then completely ignore it! I was _stupid_ enough to trust that we could finally work together! WHY didn't you send me a message? You were so eager to teach me how!"

"You think because you can take on the Dark Lord, that you are invincible? You remain conceited and over-confident in your ability to handle the Death Eaters, "Snape snapped back, "My decision to have you waiting, was to keep you _safe_. They will not hesitate to slaughter you, Potter."

"So, you took matters into your own hands?" Harry bawled his fists, feeling his blood boil, "You don't trust that we can do it, is that it?!"

"You are jumping too _quickly_ to ridiculous conclusions. You are all barely of age – I had to prevent you from walking into an ambush…Did you want your friend's dead on your accord?"

"I don't believe you! And what's with the mask!?"

"It's called a disguise, Potter! How else would I make it in here without it?"

"Why didn't you let us help?!"

"I will not _repeat_ myself, "Snape narrowed his eyes, still fixating his gaze upon the boy. "Stop acting like a child, Potter."

"Well stop _treating_ me like one! You cannot blame me for wanting to help. I _hate_ you for some of the things you did, and yet I was still _willing_ to try and help you! I _hate_ – "Still seething through his teeth, Harry had to try and stop himself. He felt Hermione's gentle hand on his shoulder and felt her lightly squeeze in order to keep him grounded to reality. Harry was absolutely enraged. He was half-tempted to lunge for the man's throat and strangle him, but it took all of his willpower to prevent himself from attempting that.

Snape's stone-cold gaze gradually softened as he dropped his voice, "And yet you were so determined to want to keep me alive. _You_ requested my assistance, I complied. End of discussion. "Severus Snape made his way to the staircase, and then turned back around once more. "I will enforce the wards back on the residence, with _additional_ measures as I leave, and I will send the incapacitated Death Eaters downstairs onto the Ministry's doorstep. I will return once you've managed your self-inflicted wrath, Potter."

With that, Snape glided back down the staircase and left Grimmauld Place, leaving an awkward silence in the air.

"…Harry, "Hermione began gently, but Harry cut her off almost immediately.

"- Just… _don't_ , ok?" Still fuming, Harry wandered downstairs to scout the remaining floors by himself, making sure they were well and truly safe from their previous intruders.

As Snape had indicated, the two unconscious Death Eaters downstairs were taken away, leaving Harry to assume the others they had fought, also fled. The group spent some time repairing the damage made from the spell blasts, as Kreacher assisted with the clean-up. Barely anyone else had spoken, as Harry noticed Ron and Hermione exchanged awkward glances several times during this task. This made Harry angrier, and he could not understand why his friends did not seem to understand why he was so angry about it. He was used to being let down by adults, so why was Snape an exception? He was not – he was just like the rest of them. No one could take Harry seriously.

While Kreacher eventually made his way to the kitchen to prepare a meal, Harry found himself sitting alone in the dull-lit living room on the first floor. The room was dirty, and dusty. Many of the portraits which lined the walls had been covered previously by sheets of old cloth, and the dust covered windows hindered much of the natural light. It really did not seem welcoming – even despite Harry eventually lighting up the fireplace. Regardless of the warmth of the fire, the room still seemed cold. He could hear the voices of his friend's downstairs, but he did revel in the silence alone, even if those moments were sparce. After a short time later, he was greeted by Luna Lovegood, who appeared a little too pleased to join him.

Somewhat glumly, Harry looked up, "Hi, Luna."

Luna smiled sweetly at Harry and sat down beside him on the old velvet green couch. There was a moment of pause, until Luna finally responded, "Don't feel bad, Harry."

Already unhappy where this conversation was already heading, he shrugged, "Was I wrong?"

"Maybe you should look at it from his perspective, "Luna pulled a piece of her wavy blonde hair and began to twist it around through her fingers. "If I were him, I'd want to try and stop my students from running into danger by any means. In his own way, of course."

"But I don't see that, Luna. I just see another person who refuses to put _any_ trust in me. I had enough to deal with that, from Dumbledore. "

"I know. He is still looking out for you, you know, despite what you may think."

"I don't even know anymore, Luna."

"Well, he is obviously going through his own problems, too. He has his reasons, even he doesn't like to admit them. Reminds me of you, actually."

Harry frowned, "Why do people keep saying that? Hermione said that too. I'm _nothing_ like him."

"Don't take offense, Harry. You both have quite the difficulty expressing your emotions and desires, even when you won't admit them yourself."

"I _really_ do not."

Luna crinkled her nose, "Of course you do. It's obvious. You also don't know how to deal with certain emotions, so you hold it back, and then explode later when it gets too much. Like you did earlier. It usually comes from a horrible upbringing, I must say. Quite common."

Well, she wasn't wrong. But coming from someone else, Harry felt offended by that, "Well, growing up with relatives like I did, kinda have that effect, Luna."

"I think you are still in shock. And I don't mean from the war…I mean the shock of finding out about Snape. You are having difficulty coming to terms with that. Presuming something for years, only to have your beliefs completely flipped on its head. I know, I can tell how conflicted you are about it. Quite understandable, really."

"Look, I just don't know how to approach him now…Things are very different."

"Consider the gravity of what he had to do; it makes a lot more sense. He sacrificed a lot for you. You are thinking too one-sided, Harry."

Harry really didn't know what to think. Was he really feeling selfish about the whole thing? Or was it simply because he needed further convincing that Snape had good intentions? Well, _good_ is a loose term, of course. No one is every truly _good_. As Sirius once said, everyone has both light and dark in them. He himself knew that he was not perfect. He honestly didn't know how his friends put up with him half the time, but he sure did appreciate their patience in helping him deal with his nonsense.

He wanted to believe Luna. He always trusted her truthful judgement, but he just didn't want to believe it. Perhaps he _was_ being unreasonable. However, the more he thought about it, the worse his felt.

Now he just felt dread.

Digging into the pocket of his jacket, Harry retrieved the vial of Snape's _Animo_ _Silentium_ elixir he took from his dormitory back at Hogwarts. He took a few drops onto his tongue, and placed it back into his pocket, already feeling an ease off his hectic mind. Now he felt like a total hypocrite.

The Gryffindor eventually wandered back downstairs to the kitchen and dining room area, just as Kreacher set a very impressive roast dinner on the table. The others, including Neville and Luna, were already at the table waiting for him to finally arrive. He could sense the awkwardness as he sat down with them. Harry started loading a few potatoes, and a small slice of turkey onto his plate.

"So, uh, Harry, "Ron spoke with a mouthful of food, "Should I tell my parents we took Grimmauld Place back?"

Harry poked at the potato on his plate with the fork, "I suppose. I don't fancy on telling them about reviving the DA – or the Order for that matter. Not yet, anyway."

"Well, to be fair, I don't think they knew that the _Fidelius_ Charm was rendered void," Hermione shrugged, "We could probably avoid that conversation with them for the time being."

Neville took a sip from his pumpkin juice, "This place is amazing, Harry. Quite surreal knowing this place _was_ Order headquarters. Kind of wonderful to think my parents actually had meetings here."

"Well, technically still _is_ , "Harry responded, "The third Order of the Phoenix."

Ginny looked excited, "The DA gets an upgrade?"

Harry shrugged, barely eating anything of his meal. "I honestly don't see why not? Our parents fought hard for it when Dumbledore first founded it, so it makes sense that we continue their legacy. For all of them. We'll keep it going for as long as we can."

"Sounds like a wonderful idea, Harry, "Luna smiled.

"Harry, " Ginny looked over at the others, and then turned her attention back to Harry, "Hermione and I went to the basement earlier to give it all-clear, and we found what looked like an old Apothecary down there."

Hermione looked worried, "They were brewing potions, but it looks like some were unfinished. And I noticed one to be Polyjuice Potion, but I couldn't identify all of the others, however…Some looked new. "

Suddenly, Harry lost his appetite, and placed his cutlery a little too aggressively back on the table, "Great. Just fantastic."

"We didn't touch a thing in there because we were overwhelmed by the fumes from something else… I sealed it off, but we do need someone who knows – "

"- _No_ , Hermione. I am not contacting Snape. We'll figure it out, ourselves."

" _Harry_ , he is the best person we know so far that can properly identify them."

"Well, _best_ is kind of pushing it…"

"Seriously mate, get a grip already, "Ron reached for his goblet and took a large sip, still chewing the remnants of his last bite, "You know I still hate the git, but even I know that we could use his help."

Harry was growing increasingly irritable, "Ron, I thought maybe for once, you'd agree with me on this?"

"Well, why did you ask for his help in the first place?"

Harry was silent. He couldn't believe what he was hearing from his friends - who he had _hoped_ \- would understand his reasonings for being angry.

Out of nervousness, Harry found himself subconsciously picking at the fresh and raw rough scars under his dressing which lined his right arm from the previous attack. The discomfort from that was enough to divert his mind and give him a distraction that didn't resulting in him losing his temper again.

"Whatever. Fine. I'll contact him tomorrow," Harry scraped his chair, as he stood up to leave, "Just, let it go tonight, okay?"

Harry left the kitchen without saying another word, and once he made his way to the bedroom of Regulus Arcturus Black – He wasn't comfortable occupying Sirius' room yet. Though he realised Hermione had followed him.

"Harry, I'm _really_ worried about you, "Hermione lowered her voice, afraid of the others overhearing, and slowly followed Harry into the room.

Harry wandered to the old bed, and sat down, as Hermione took a seat beside him. There was a silence between the both of them for several moments, and it was so quiet, that all Harry could hear was his own erratic breaths as he tried to calm himself. Neither of them ushered a word, but the moment Hermione placed a comforting arm around his shoulder, Harry's face finally crumbled as he buried his wary head into his shaky hands and let out several large choking sobs. He felt Hermione gently draw him closer, until his head was resting on her shoulder. His body shook as the tears kept on falling. He couldn't stop them this time. Everything hit him all at once. There was just far too much to deal with, and he hated himself for feeling like this. For feeling so… _broken_.

It only took seconds for everything to shatter. But he was thankful that he managed to hold it all together until he reached the bedroom. He felt ashamed.

"Please…don't tell the others. Not even Ginny…" Harry choked back broken words, hoping with everything he had, that the others would not see him like this.

"Harry, it's alright…"

"No, it's _not_. I'm sorry I'm like this...I let everyone down."

"That's absurd. You are not letting _anyone_ down."

"I keep snapping at everyone…And you…You don't deserve that from me."

"Never mind that, Harry. We are all worried about you, and we'll be here with you regardless. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can…despite everything. "

"I'm not strong enough to deal with… _this_."

"Who says you have to deal with it by yourself?"

Harry dragged his sleeve across his face to wipe away the tears that soaked his face. He avoided Hermione's gaze for the moment, as he tried his best to calm his breathing. His heart was far too heavy, "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm lost, Hermione…I'm just pushing everyone away."

Hermione's arm remained around his shoulders, squeezing gently, "We'll figure it out. Luna suggested earlier that we all stay here tonight…with you. Is that alright?"

Harry sniffled, and nodded in response, "Yeah. Yeah, that will be…Great. I'd appreciate that."

"Harry, I know you might not seem up for it, but may I practice sending a message by Patronus with you? I can teach the others, which will help you take a load off your mind, "Hermione gave a slight hesitant pause, and continued as she released her arm from Harry's shoulder's, "If you'd allow me, I can send Snape the message instead? If you are not up to it."

Harry drew in a deep breath, "Sure. That'll be great Hermione."

Once Harry was able to settle his emotions for the time being, Hermione was able to distract him by encouraging him to teach her how to send messages with their Patronus. Harry felt odd teaching Hermione this new skill, but admittedly, he had to thank Snape for that one. Not as eloquently as he'd like, he managed to diminish some of his negative thoughts, from the memories he used to conjure his Patronus. Although initially thinking it was a bad idea after his uncontrollable waterworks earlier, it did actually help ease his mind as he focused on teaching. Luckily for him, Hermione was an incredibly fast learner. Once Hermione was confident, she left his company to join the others downstairs, leaving Harry emotionally spent.

Feeling slightly ill for lack of nutritional intake earlier, he managed to slip into the cotton pyjamas that Hermione left behind for him, and immediately crawled into bed.

He was quite relieved to know that Hermione was handling Snape's message, because Harry was not all prepared to interact with the man just yet. A side of him still harboured that raw anger he had built up from him over the years, but another part of him felt slightly guilty. Just when he had convinced himself that he was unreasonable, that anger would build right back up. And suddenly, every time he fought back, painfully reminded him more like his father and how much of an arrogant git he was at school. And Harry hated himself for that, because he knew his father wasn't the saint he was led to believe. That day during Occlumency when he peered into Snape's memory, was a harsh reminder of his father's behaviour, and since then, Harry did what he could to avoid being that person. But every outburst that came from Harry reminded him of his father, and thus created fresh self-loathing.

How could he prove to Snape that he really wasn't like his father? _Well, avoid being an arsehole for starters._

He knew that he had to work together with him. Deep down, he _knew_ that. But it still felt like one big cosmic joke, that the man he wanted desperately to end, turned out to be the same man who spent years protecting Harry no matter what dangers he found himself in. He struggled to grasp that idea, and the inner conflict of that drove him slightly mad.

He _had_ to try and make peace with him. Properly, this time. After everything, the man deserved that much.

After what seemed like hours, Harry finally managed to fall asleep. But not without its share of restlessness. Nightmare's plagued his mind throughout the night, filling his vision with images of those he lost. Cedric. Sirius. Dumbledore. Dobby. Remus. Tonks…Time and time again, he would jolt awake, feeling his body seize up as he awoke back to reality in the cold bedroom at Grimmauld Place. His head was spinning, and his head ached from lack of rest. Once he felt his shirt cling to his chest by the perfusion caused by the horrid dreams, he sat bolt upright, concluding that he may as well give up on attempting sleep.

He checked his watch – one thirty-three in the morning. He let out a small groan, laying back down on his bed, eyes wide open.

There was no rest for him tonight.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE: Hope you liked this chapter!**

**On the context of how big Grimmauld place is, you can literally Google search the floor plans, but essentially, is has a ground to fourth floor, with the additional basement and attic. Kind of incredible if you think about it. The place has much potential!**


	14. Into the Depths

**NOTE: Hey guys! Snape POV chapters were never really my initial intention, so I won't be doing them too frequently. I find I will do a Snape POV chapter simply where it fits in the story, especially following certain conflicts/events. I always want to express that although this story is seen mostly from Harry's perspective, I do want to display certain points from Snape's perspective as well, as I find delving into both their minds, not only fascinating, but imperative to the flow and intentions of this story. Hopefully by doing these POVs, it will help fill the gap and understand our Potions Master a little better in that mind of his given his new second chance, and his inner moral conflict. In saying that, I am trying my best to keep all of these characters as in-character (IC) as possible given the scenarios present, but please let me know if at all you think a character's decision is not IC enough. Any criticism helps.**

**I hope you don't mind the flow of that =)**

* * *

CHAPTER 14: Into the Depths

_That surely could not have gotten any worse. He didn't understand. WHY didn't he understand?_

After his heated altercation with Potter, Severus Snape left Grimmauld Place as quickly as he could. The moment he felt the environment turned on hostile ground, he fled not wanting to stick around from any further outbursts from the insufferably unruly teenage Gryffindor. He had enough of that from being Head of Slytherin house and dealing with moody pubescent teenagers on a daily basis.

Once he left the group on the upper floors of the newly reclaimed headquarters, he made his way downstairs and bound the two incapacitated and still unconscious Death Eaters with a magically binding rope he so aggressively conjured. His argument with Potter left him in a such a sour mood, that he conjured a few extra bindings, giving himself the humorous satisfaction of seeing his former colleagues bound together like characters on one of the old child's cartoon shows he used to watch in his youth before Hogwarts. Usually the kind of silly cartoons which often helped to distract him from his miserable home life, as his deranged Muggle father often yelled at his witch mother in the background.

Once Severus had teleported the pair directly on the Ministry's doorstep – and he meant this quite literally – He spent some time replacing the now fractured old wards, into stronger ones. New and improved, with added security. Potter could be mad with him all he wanted, but Severus was still determined to make sure the boy didn't get himself into further unnecessary danger.

Well, he obviously knew that was impossible, considering the boys reputation, but he could at least try. Regardless, he still felt responsible for the child's life.

Eventually, he Apparated back to Malfoy Manor late that evening, to check in on the family he had grown accustomed to. In his own way, he was rather relieved he didn't have to deal with Lucius, especially since he may have still been unaware by Severus' betrayal to the Dark Lord. That was a can of worms that should never be opened, for Lucius and his friends was a big part of influencing Severus towards the Dark Arts in their school years. He will never forgive him for that.

He had been using the Manor as a temporary safehouse since his departure from Hogwarts grounds, but he didn't want to stay there longer than necessary. Severus was more of a target, so he didn't want to further complicate matters on the occasion if he was to be captured. Furthermore, Draco _did_ request to help Severus in their pursuit of rounding up the rest of the Death Eaters, so he could definitely commend him for rising up to the occasion. _Finally_. Actually, if Severus were to admit, he was quite proud of the boy.

Severus entered Malfoy Manor usually in the same rituals he had been doing for the past few days since he took shelter there. Often checking the vicinity of the house of grandeur, and the large surrounding area of the grounds, for any falter in defences. He made it a habit of changing up the wards often enough, as so to keep it well-secured in case of determined Death Eaters attempting to break through. He was confident that it was going to hold.

Once he finally entered through the front doors, he made an immediate turn to the kitchen, which meant he had to pass through the smaller dining room at ground floor. It was not to be confused with the larger one upstairs – That was usually reserved for meetings with the Dark Lord, which now remained abandoned and empty. However, being here in this house, harboured just a few of the man's most sensitive memories, especially as they were quite recent. Nothing good ever came out from those meetings, and reminiscing those ill-fated gatherings made Severus' heart beat just that little bit faster. He glanced his obsidian eyes upwards, almost imagining poor Charity Burbage once again suspended powerlessly above his ex-colleagues. He blinked as he tried to bury that moment in the back of his mind using Occlumency, but he suddenly lost to will to do even that. He paused to steady himself against the dining room chair, leaning forward, trying to push that memory away.

_'Severus, please! …We're friends!'_

Severus' breath became a little more irregular, as he shut his eyes in his desperate attempt to focus. Another woman he could not save. Another woman he had to watch die. Severus's face twisted in anguish, as he could almost see the flash of green light again which ended poor Charity's life as he looked into her eyes. His shoulders tensed when images of the snake entered his mind, with Nagini's hissing reverberating an echo behind him, but he knew that was all in his mind. He couldn't shut them out quick enough. The reptile instilled fresh fear within the man, as the terror from the day of his attempted murder flashed so vividly back into his mind. He could practically feel the force of the bites again, and again, and again…His heart pounding with each vicious lunge.

Severus drew in a deep breath and tried once again to clear his mind. It was the only thing keeping him from wanting to fling the chair across the room. In all his years of mastering this skill, he never thought he'd finally lose control like this. The terrible memories flooded his mind, and to him, it felt like a self-inflicted Crucio. Why have the Dark Lord do it when he could perform that himself by allowing those emotional shields to slowly crumble with the depth of this pain.

Being here at the Manor, or even Hogwarts…Gave Severus Snape too much to remember.

Pushing through the irritating sting of pain that now shot through his neck wound due to the muscles tensing in his neck and shoulders, he gritted his teeth as he gingerly made his way into the kitchen. He immediately got to work brewing a large pot of herbal tea in an attempt to settle his nerves.

"Ah, Severus. You returned. Wonderful, "Narcissa sprung up beside him, though Severus could hear the clinking of her heels from all the way upstairs. She arrived at the elegantly-decored kitchen sporting an ash-grey formal blazer, and black corporate dress pants. Her dark brown and blonde hair was half pinned up and held neatly in place by a very ornate golden clip adorned with tiny emeralds.

Severus bowed his head lightly in acknowledgement, instinctively re-applying his blank facade yet again, "Everything alright?"

"Oh, of course. Draco was looking for you earlier – "The woman suddenly noticed the pain in the man's face, and narrowed her eyes, arching her head subtlety to the side in genuine curiosity. Much like Draco made a habit of doing in school; It was clearly a common Malfoy trait. Once Severus had finished brewing the tea, he poured them both a generous mugful and watched as the woman leaned back against the kitchen counter, holding the ornate mug securely with both hands. "That's becoming quite the problem, hasn't it?"

Severus gave a _hmpf_ , as he immediately took a sip of the herbal remedy, "It is…unfortunate. However manageable for the time being."

"A potions prodigy, and yet you can't cure a simple snake bite?"

"It's not just a _simple_ snake bite, Narcissa. You know as well as I that Nagini was ingrained with the Dark Lords power. Her venom is no simple fix, "Severus looked at the woman dully, and continued after a short, awkward pause, "Not to mention having the Dark Lord slice my throat prior to that. Yes, I have seen better days. That venom will not allow my wounds to heal."

"Whatever it is, you best have it dealt with soon. Especially when my son in within your watchful eye, when you both choose to gallivant into dangerous territory again, "Narcissa took another sip of her tea, and frowned, "Besides, I don't want to be finding you dead in my guest room one morning. I don't fancy the clean-up."

Severus snorted lightly at the comment, but eventually composed his expression on the subject of his Godson, "Speaking of Draco, how is he handling things?"

Narcissa locked gaze at Severus for a brief moment, and looked away, struggling to draw in breath. Severus could tell she was trying her best to keep up appearances and remain calm, but he watched as her eyes blinked a little more frequently and kept her gaze away from his. He watched her take a shaky sip of her tea and clutched the mug securely to her chest. "As well as he could be, considering his father is back in Azkaban, and the Dark Mark serving him as a painful reminder of the decisions he made prior to the Dark Lord's fall. Not to mention he has a target on his head now. I worry about him, Severus."

Severus listened to the woman's plea as calmly as he could. He understood the predicament the boy was in, and he adopted a vast amount of sympathy for Narcissa in wanting to protect her son. The only thing Severus could offer the boy, was his protection and guidance. He was useless at everything else – What support could he possibly give him? He himself _never_ made the right choices growing up, especially when he was Draco's age, and look where that landed him – Conspiring with the Death Eaters leading up to the eventual demise of Lily. He knew the heavy repercussions of that, and even still to this day, remained severely _devastated_ by the events that followed. Because of his adolescent stupidity and ignorance.

He truly understood Draco – Surrounding himself with the Dark Arts so much, that to him, it seemed like the only option. It was the only thing that made him felt like he belonged. And refusing such a path, was likely a death sentence. Draco's childhood echoed his own so painfully, and a part of Severus had wished he had done more for him.

Severus Snape felt utterly useless. He should have done more. Intervened more, instead of allowing his actions to continue. Perhaps if he stepped in front of Draco's consistent bullying of students - not just to Potter – He would have turned out a little differently. Made better choices. Severus allowed the typical dark Slytherin reputation and influence take over the boy. He had a chance to do the right thing as a mentor, and he chose to allow history to repeat itself. That alone wounded the man more than he cared to admit.

It was probably for the best that Severus had no children of his own. What kind of father would he be, if he allowed a child to make the same horrible irreversible mistakes he did? Being a Godfather to this teenager posed enough of an inner conflict with the man than he ever had anticipated. Surely Mrs Malfoy would have found another suitable candidate, who was at least capable of showing the boy the love and care that he needed to get himself through this. He was not that type of person the boy really needed.

Severus didn't know how to love or show love, and that was his greatest personal flaw.

After a quiet delay, Severus finally mustered up a response, allowing his impassive demeanour to slightly falter on subject of his Godson, "Draco will remain under my protection." The man's voice remained deep and resonate, but there was always an unwavering softness to his voice that seemed to put the woman at ease. "I cannot promise you anything, Narcissa, but I will do my best. I cannot offer any more than that."

The woman nodded sadly, "Of course. However, he is your Godson after all, and Lucius is no longer here. I know Draco is not a child anymore, but Severus…He is all that I have left. I can't lose him too."

"I will go see him, "Severus downed the remaining tea, and gently placed the cup onto the counter. Straightening up his sleeves, he looked back at the woman once more, "Everything will be alright, Narcissa. You are safe within these walls, and the additional shields I have placed around the property. Draco and I shouldn't be long."

Severus left Narcissa in the kitchen as he proceeded to the next floor to approach Draco regarding their upcoming excursion. Draco was eager to scope out Knockturn Alley in search for further Death Eater activity, so the pair of them had planned the trip early that morning in hope to be a step ahead in their pursuit. Initially, Severus had dismissed the idea, but once Draco began to discuss options with the man, they were able to lay down some ground rules regarding their infiltration mission. Severus wished he still had Potter's Invisibility Cloak, but he didn't have that luxury, so he suggested they use a complicated disillusionment spell.

Severus reached Draco's bedroom, and stopped at the door. Raising his arm, he gave the door three short knocks. "Draco?"

Within seconds, the door swung open to reveal Draco adorned in his favourite black dress suit, clutching his wand beside him at the ready. Severus was slightly concerned how far too eager this boy was. "I'm ready. Let's get this over with."

Severus raised his eyebrow ever so subtly, "You don't have to do this you know. Remember, this is your choice."

"Yeah, I know it is. I am _choosing_ to do this. Why, is that a problem?"

"It isn't. I just want you _well_ aware, am I making myself clear? "Severus clasped his hands behind him, "Now. Have you practiced the disillusionment incantation I taught you?"

Draco nodded, "I haven't stopped practicing."

"Good. Now tell me, why is it imperative that this spell in particular can only be cast on oneself, and not another?"

Without missing a beat, Draco answered, "Because a _self_ -intended disillusionment incantation acts as a personal shield, or barrier, which cannot extend to another living thing."

" _Precisely_. And so, answer me this – What is the difference between said disillusionment and shielding?"

"Disillusion is tricking the mind of another. And a shield is more literal and physical. Both are essentially barriers in their own specific way." Draco looked incredibly smug with himself.

Severus couldn't help but return the proud smirk, "Excellent, Draco. Final question – What is the duration of a disillusionment charm, and at what factors render it void?"

"The charm only remains active for an average of twenty minutes, but it is difficult to keep it active for that long," Draco paused for a few moments, thinking on that answer, "Direct eye contact with a passer-by with this specific spell is the main reason _why_ they fail before its maximum duration, as that immediately ends the charm. Bumping into solid objects, like walls or even other people, cause the illusion to shimmer. Water, or anything liquid, can also render the charm useless. But goblins and elves can sense you immediately, and any other spell we cast will lift the enchantment."

"Well done, Draco. Most impressive," Severus eyed the boy, "Now do you understand the delicate nature of this mission? We cannot afford any errors. We are both at _incredible_ risk."

The young Slytherin nodded, "I'm ready. Let's go see what we can find out."

Severus ran through the mission again with Draco, as they made their way downstairs to the main front doors of the Manor. Once it was all clarified, and there were no other questions, they exited the house without another word. Once they reached the end of the magical wards, both Disapparated immediately, and reappeared in the small office at the back of Borgin and Burkes in Knockturn Alley.

Draco Malfoy had briefly scouted this area quickly, in the previous day. From what the boy discussed with Severus; Mr Borgin had fled the shopfront after Death Eaters had utilised the Vanishing Cabinet and failed to return. No one knows if he was captured, or killed, or if he simple abandoned shop in fear for his life. Either way, from what the pair could tell now, no one else had stepped foot in here since its collapse, and that was evident by the destruction within the shop. What once housed dark artifacts, ancient tomes, and instruments of Dark magic, was now mostly clear of all its usual items. Some of their remains lay destroyed on the charred wooden floors, but it did spark a flicker of worry within Severus that the remnants may be possession by dangerous wizards. When Knockturn and Diagon Alley became deserted during the war, many of the shopfronts were either destroyed or ransacked by magical locals, clearly taking this opportunity as it stood. If they weren't participating in the war, they were actively stealing.

Keeping his voice barely at a whisper, Severus turned to Draco, "Back here in fifteen minutes, understood? We are here _only_ for information, _nothing_ more."

As Draco nodded, Severus raised his wand and began to chant the intricate incantation, while the young Slytherin followed in unison. As the pair chanted, two wisps of red and white bands of energy dispersed from the wand and melted together to cover every inch of their form separately. The spell gives a chameleon-like illusion, which causes passers-by to avert their gaze. Much like seeing something moving from the corner of your peripheral, the disillusionment chart essentially hides the caster for a short period of time. But it was avoiding detection that was tricky – It was a complex spell, and highly effective, but has many inhibiting factors which meant it was not always a reliable spell to use. Severus has performed this several times before, way back from when the Dark Lord was first coming into power during the First Wizarding War. Since then, Severus avoided using it again, for fear that the Dark Lord could see through it, and that was a risk he did not want to take. He felt safe enough to use it again, now that his old master had finally fallen.

Once the pair was ready, they both dispersed in different directions as discussed. This was the only way they could scout the location undetected, and luckily for them, it was mostly deserted. From Severus' observation, there were a few people wandering around, but there was nothing that seemed out of the ordinary as far he could tell.

The Alley was dark, with the crescent moon overhead casting a pale glow enough to see the shadows of scurrying rats across the cobblestone pathways. Severus _despised_ being here. Draco had been so adamant to scout the notoriously shady part of the wizard world, that Severus could not convince him to let it go. In the end, the Potions Master had no choice but to accompany him and ensure his safety that they do this properly.

He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Keeping two stubborn danger-magnets away from trouble was a task Severus had no idea he'd have to maintain _well_ after his time at Hogwarts.

Taking careful steps and keeping towards the old stone walls, he made his way to the far end slowly to remain undetected. But as he edged further down the notorious Alley, he began to hear a chorus of angry voices emanating from one of the derelict shopfronts. Kneeling down gently, he positioned himself underneath the window's ledge, and noticed a dull glow radiating from inside. Although Severus' view was skewed, he could hear the conversation very clearly as he sat idly by. He recognised a few of the voices, but he could hear several others speaking in hushed tones. This was an impromptu meeting.

"- of course I am aware! You think l don't know that?"

"We need a better course of action. Start again."

"That's the least of our problems, Macnair. We need to cover our tracks."

"A base was lost – Including our little project. We wasted our _damn_ time! Two of us were unable to escape. We were swamped by the traitor and his Potter entourage."

" _You_ messed up the wards, Selwyn!"

"The Dark Lord would never have allowed this to happen."

"We'll start again. This time, we must be careful. We can't allow them to disrupt us again. "

"Calm down, you lot. The Aurors cannot find us – That means we still have the upper hand. So we lost Grimmauld Place and the Forest camp. Big deal. Minor loses."

"What about the filthy little traitor? Severus Snape? He disappears after the battle for two weeks and shows up to overthrow us at Grimmauld. He is highly problematic."

"I have sent men to find him. He must be eliminated quickly."

"Any other news?"

"The Diggory's have been eliminated at Ottery St Catchpole. Tortured them both for a good while before they finally begged for death."

"Good. Well done. That should strike a chord -"

Severus' face fell as he heard the familiar name. Amos and Miranda Diggory. Cedric's parents – The talented Hufflepuff student senselessly murdered by Wormtail during the Dark Lords resurrection at the rigged Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament a few years prior. Taking that opportunity to leave, he quietly made his way back to the meeting point to regroup with his Godson. Draco was already waiting for him, disillusionment removed, and together they hastily Disapparated away from Knockturn Alley.

They reappeared back at Malfoy Manor, and once they were on safe ground again, they began to discuss what they had uncovered. Severus relayed to Draco what he had overheard, and Draco had managed to follow an old shopkeeper at Mr Mulpepper's Apothecary preparing a box of ingredients for an obscured cloak figure that he was unable to identify.

Severus remained passive at what they had uncovered, and he was careful not to alarm Draco of the true severity of their discoveries. He was extremely concerned, and not only was he now certain of the target over his head, but they were planning something big. But with every discovery uncovered a tiny piece of the puzzle. But first, he needed to send word about the cruel fate of the Diggory's.

Draco turned to leave Severus standing in one of the gardens of the Manor while he made his way back home. Severus turned back to leave and send an anonymous message to the Auror office, before he could perform that dreaded task, a silvery white Patronus came into view. The glow of the new Patronus entering the secured area, startled Severus slightly as he could not immediately identify the creature. But as the Patronus dashed closer to view, he was able to distinguish the shape of a small otter. Raising an eyebrow in confusion, he waited with bated breath at the message he was about to receive, as he could not immediately identify the caster.

_'Professor Snape. It's Hermione Granger. Meet us as the Shrieking Shack…We have news.'_

The Patronus disappeared once the message was projected. Feeling slightly alarmed at the urgency of the message, he turned on his heel and left the wards as quickly as he arrived. It was unusual to be contacted by the likes of Miss Granger, which had him worried that something may have happened to Potter. But he wasted absolutely no time, and immediately Apparated directly into the living room of the Shrieking Shack. Once he did, he was hit with an immediate wave of dizziness as soon as he arrived. He gave himself a few moments to steady himself, and as soon as it passed, he was able to make out the forms of Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley in the room.

He looked at Hermione's concerned gaze and crossed his arms neatly in front of him. "Granger. Weasley." Noticing the awkward glances at each of the Gryffindors respectively, he watched as they seemed to fumble with their words. "…Everything alright?"

Hermione clearly looked nervous, "Sir, well yes…Perhaps. Likely not."

"Yes or no, Miss Granger."

"We found something in the basement at Grimmauld Place. Most likely left behind by the Death Eaters, "Ron continued.

Concerned, Severus unclasped his hands and glanced at each of them, "What did you discover?"

"Well, "Hermione glanced back at Ron again, and then stared at her hands as she explained, "We found some incomplete potions in a makeshift lab. I was only able to identify remnants of Polyjuice Potion, but something else in there was…Well, emitting fumes. Like leaving potions brewing for too long. I sealed it off so it didn't flood the house. We have no idea what it is."

Severus frowned, not liking where this conversation was going, "What kind of odour did it emit?"

Hermione crinkled her nose, "It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and bitter almond. It didn't smell like anything I've brewed before…"

"That's because it's not a Potion," Severus' pale face contorted in dread. He knew very well what those concoctions were.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, as Ron looked alarmed.

"Highly dangerous, if it is what I presume it to be." He turned sharply to Granger and Weasley, "I will go there immediately and investigate further. However, I must ask a request of you in the meantime."

Ron nodded, "What can we do?"

"I must ask one of you to send an _anonymous_ message to the Auror office, "Severus spoke softly, but the worry in his voice was evident, "There has been two more victims."

He saw Weasley frown, "…Who?"

Severus' tried desperately to keep it together, but remained calm, "The Diggory's. They live at a residence at Ottery St Catchpole."

Hermione let out a gasp, and her eyes began to well up with tears, "Oh no…Amos and Miranda Diggory. I-I can't believe it. Oh, that _poor_ family."

"How on earth do you know that?" Ron frowned as he pulled at arm around an upset Hermione, as he challenged the man.

"Never mind _how_ I know. Now is not the time to mistrust my word, Weasley." Severus' languid tone was reminiscent of his teaching days. "Go send that message, and I will go directly to Grimmauld Place and deal with the mess immediately. Where is Potter?"

Hermione hastily brushed a tear away, clearly uncomfortable letting the waterworks flow in front of their ex-Professor, "He's with Ginny at Grimmauld Place. Neville and Luna are also there."

Severus nodded, content with the answer, "I commend you for your quick thinking, Miss Granger. Now go, _quickly_."

He watched as Granger and Weasley Apparated away from the Shrieking Shack, leaving Severus standing alone. He didn't want to allow his solemn façade to crumble in front of the pair, but the moment they disappeared he let out a frustrated growl under his breath as he gave a swift kick to the coffee table in front of him, sending it toppling over. Giving himself a few moments to re-compose himself, he could not help but think of how truly screwed they all were.

His ex-colleagues were definitely planning something big. They truly wanted to leave a final mark on the wizarding world, and that was exactly what they were planning to do. Instilling mass terror was their speciality - Severus knew that all too well. He felt sick to his stomach at the sheer thought of what they were capable of.

Time was ticking, and they had to find them before it was too late. Everyone was running out of time.

Including Severus.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE: Just an FYI, there will be no Severus/Narcissa pairing in this story. I still believe they are good friends, and will remain that way.**


	15. The Way Forward

**NOTE: Hey guys! So, I would like to explain something upcoming in this chapter, that is important to touch up on, and I'll try and do so without spoiling the content. I'll keep this one as vague as possible but will give you a small update in the footnote below. I have had ideas in my head about the 'end game' and a big event, that will rattle the magical community a final time. With any war, it doesn't just 'end'. There will always be retaliation, and that is what I hope to achieve with our rogue DE's running rampart in this story. But I'd also like to point out that there will be a discussion between these characters below, regarding a certain part of our history, which I find a certain regime very similar to Voldemort's rise to power and what this may mean. Initially, I never intended to use that as part of the plot, but as the story progressed, the idea of it makes sense so I wanted to incorporate that in my own way, _without_ replicating it. So, I just wanted to make that very clear. The DE's want to induce and act upon that fear and terror a final time, and that's exactly what they are going to do.**

**Also mini sidenote – Heavy chapter upcoming +_+ Admittedly, I really struggled writing this one.**

* * *

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us, and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies." – **Martin Luther King, Jr.**

* * *

CHAPTER 15: The Way Forward

Dull sunlight began to spill through the window of the cold and cluttered bedroom, as Harry Potter began to stir awake. It seemed he managed a few more hours of sleep after his unsettled night, but as he opened his eyes, he was blinded by a dull headache which caused him to immediately shut is eyes again. It took him several moments to recall the events of the previous day, and he barely managed to register that he was finally back at Grimmauld Place.

_What the hell happened yesterday?_

His lack of sleep made him feel like he had far too much firewhiskey in his system. Yesterday felt like such a blur and he was so emotionally charged from it, that he now seemed completely sapped of whatever energy he had left. Recalling his argument with Snape the previous evening, made him all the more driven to just stay in bed for the day. Facing the possibility of confronting the man again at some point, he created a bit of a conundrum with himself.

Did he go too far? Where did Harry draw the line? Was he really being unreasonable?

And yet everyone just seemed to want to convince him to give the man a break. The Gryffindor _did_ have a measure of sympathy for him – Harry wasn't heartless. He knew that. But his trust with him still felt severely broken, and he found it difficult to trust anyone again a second time. So many people have let him down in the past and constantly kept important things from him. Constantly. Everyone was always stepping on eggshells around him, and that annoyed him to no end.

He genuinely wanted to have some sort of truce with Snape. But he found that difficult when he realised both individuals had a difficult time trusting each other. There was no respect between them, and Harry knew that. Deep down, he really wanted it to work. If not only for his sake, but at least on his mother's memory.

Both Harry and Snape needed that peace – They both deserved that much.

"Oh good, you're awake."

Harry yawned, as Ginny entered the bedroom, "Barely."

"Trouble sleeping again?"

Harry sighed, "Every night is the same."

Ginny sat down on the bed next to Harry, as he sat upright against the headboard, "Don't tell Ron that, or he'll offer to knock you out."

"Honestly, that doesn't sound like a bad idea," Harry grinned, as he reached out to clasp Ginny's hand, "Did I miss anything?"

Ginny sighed, "Yeah, but we wanted to let you sleep. Snape's downstairs dealing with the mess in the basement. He seemed very worried about what was being brewed down there, but he wouldn't tell us. I wish you were there to hear him swear when he arrived. Quite humorous, actually."

Harry let a groan, knowing he'd have to deal with Snape at some point that morning, "Any ideas as to what it may be?"

"Hermione seems to have an idea, as always. She looked worried, too, "Ginny held Harry's hand in both of hers, "Also…There have been two more victims."

The colour drained from Harry's face, "Oh no…Who?"

"…The Diggory's."

Harry closed his eyes briefly, giving him time to register what he had heard. His heart twisted in his chest, as he struggled to draw in breath. That poor family – They lost their son Cedric, which already tore their lives apart. And now _this_ …Absolutely devastating. The war is still ongoing, and the thought of that made his stomach do backflips.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's not what you want to hear."

"It's not, but…Thanks for letting me know."

Feeling like he had procrastinated enough that morning, Harry gently peeled off his bedcovers as soon as Ginny left the room and made a detour to the bathroom to freshen himself up. He was afraid to look into the mirror at the monstrosity looking back at him, but a quick glance was enough to leave him feeling repulsed. His pale face appeared alarmingly gaunt – dark rings evident under his eyes. His hair a mess and in desperate need of a wash. Untameable stubble all over his chin, left unshaven for a short while, leaving a scratchy mess on his skin. His once bright emerald eyes now a dull glow, leaving them looking eerily hollow. He only got as far as dousing his face with cold water, not caring about the rest of his appearance. He lost the will to deal with that a long while ago. What was another day?

Eventually, he threw on one of the few shirts and pants in his possession, and grumpily made his way downstairs to see what fresh hell was instore for him that day.

He made his way to kitchen to find Neville and Luna having a conversation with Kreacher over freshly made scones and pots of coffee. Luna was wearing her Spectrespecs and a strange handmade necklace adorned with what looked like an actual starfish and multi-coloured hand painted shells. Upon his entry, the trio glanced in his direction.

Neville beamed, "Morning Harry! Good timing – I had to try and stop Ron from eating the rest of the scones. "

"Morning, guys, "Harry sat down across from them and snatched a warm scone from the kitchen table and began to lather it with a dollop of jam and cream. It smelled amazing, and his stomach grumbled intensely. That was his own fault for barely eating anything the day before. "How did you sleep?"

"Besides that wretched portrait screaming at silly hours of the night, it was alright. I think she got set off by Snape walking in, "Harry watched as Neville tried to stifle a laugh and ended up smirking instead. Must have been the same incident that had Ginny highly amused. Well, he was glad his friends at least found the man remotely amusing at this time. Harry managed to scoff down the scone in several bites and started pouring himself a cup of coffee. The caffeine and sugar hit should leave him remotely functional this morning, even for a short time. Though he knew he'd have to talk to Snape sooner or later, he pondered and wished he had something stronger.

"I'm glad you made it down in time, Harry, "Luna tilted her head to the side, observing Harry a little too closely, "But I daresay you've looked better."

Harry's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "Gee, thanks Luna."

Luna smiled, "I don't mean any offense. You don't look like your usual self these days."

Harry didn't know whether he preferred Luna's brutal honesty, or Snape's. Either definitely could not be avoided at this point. "I'm…working on it." Harry stood up from the table, satisfied enough with one scone. "Will you both be around today?"

"I'm meeting Hannah Abbott at St. Mungo's to see Madam Pomfrey, "Neville explained, "Since everyone got transferred there, we've been assisting the injured. Pomfrey wants to train us as Medi-assistants for now. I think Hannah wants to become a Healer."

Harry smiled. Neville looked incredibly proud of that, and he was happy for him, "That's great! Neville, I'm really proud of you. Wait, are you and Hannah – "

"Thanks Harry – I'm happy to lend my assistance. I never thought I'd be any good at Healing spells, but we've learned a lot. Too bad I'm terrible at potions, though," Neville suddenly looked sheepish, "Oh, Hannah…Well, not really. I do like her, though. I wished I had the courage to get to know her better at school. Better late than never, right?"

Harry was incredibly proud of his friend, "I'm really happy for you. You're both a great match." Harry glanced at Luna, "What about you, Luna?"

The Ravenclaw witch paused in thought for several moments, until she looked back at Harry with widened bright blue eyes, "I think I might make a pretty shell necklace for Dobby today. I think he'd like that, don't you?"

Harry's heart welled up in memory of his fallen friend, and gave Luna a heart-warming smile, "That's - That's a wonderful idea, Luna. He'd _really_ love that. "

"I think so too. Blue suits him rather well."

Harry took a few steps to the door, "Well, hopefully I'll see you both later? Time to investigate the next problem." Harry waved at his friends and began to make the dreaded trek to the basement to finally uncover what was happening down there.

Admittedly, he has never seen the basement at Grimmauld Place, so he really had no clue what to expect. It was always sealed shut. Besides the vague description by Hermione as to what may have occurred, he was in desperate need of an update of the potion's situation, which he hoped Snape can rectify for him. Hermione must have summoned the man quite late overnight, as apparently the toxic fumes were getting worse and needed more magic to contain. Therefore, the arrival of the Potions Master was late, which Harry was not aware of until he awoke that morning.

Slowly descending the narrow staircase to the lower floor, his senses were suddenly overwhelmed by a combination of putrid ingredients. That was not the wake up call he intended for. Once he reached the final stair, he saw Snape carefully stirring something over a steaming cauldron, with Hermione and Ron beside him, prepping ingredients on either side. That visual messed with Harry's head a little too much.

Hermione was the first to see Harry. She looked slightly flustered, and Harry noticed her gaze dart from his dishevelled appearance, until she gave him a small smile, "Morning Harry."

Harry eyed the makeshift potion's laboratory, anticipating the upcoming dread. "So, what did I miss?"

Hermione flicked some wayward hairs away from her face as she continued, "Professor Snape was able to remove the fumes, and clear the room early this morning. As presumed, they were trying to brew Polyjuice potion, but were _thankfully_ unsuccessful. As for the other issue… _Well_ …"

Severus Snape eventually looked up at Harry, and the two stood there glancing at each other in silence, resulting with the man narrowing his eyes ever so subtly at the Gryffindor. Harry clenched his jaw, soon realising Snape was analysing the boys unusually haggard appearance.

Eventually Snape moved to speak, while still gently stirring the potion simmering slightly in the cauldron, "The fumes were isolated, and completely removed. It could have turned deadly _very_ quickly, had Miss Granger not immediately contained it, but it was not intended for you. It was simply left to steep accidentally in their mad dash to depart. The odd concoction they were attempting had traces of elemental sulphur and hydrogen cyanide. It was not exactly a potion."

Harry's eyes widened, as he began to internally freak out, "Cyanide? What the _hell_ were they doing with poison?!"

"After careful examination, I determined that the poison is what is known as a blood agent. A poison used and dispersed as a toxic vapor when activated at optimum temperature and conditions, "Snape spoke slowly, allowing every languid syllable to reach Harry's mind; hopefully allowing that information to sink in. There was a slight pause, then the man continued his lecture, "Are you familiar with Muggle history, Potter?"

Harry nodded immediately, now overly concerned with the new dilemma, "I do, sir. But why do I get the feeling history is going to repeat itself again?"

Snape softened his gaze as he tediously explained, "Hydrogen cyanide was used in Nazi gas chambers in the 1940's. The sulphur contained in this particular concoction, is a natural substance used as a fuel for, most commonly, gunpowder."

Slowly, Harry began to nod in understanding, as he realised what that meant. He swallowed the bitterness rising in his throat, as the idea made him feel utterly repulsed, "They are planning to disperse the poison somewhere, aren't they?"

Snape appeared saddened as he nodded once, "It appears so."

Ron looked mortified, "Sounds bloody horrendous."

"Wonderful, "Harry pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We _have_ to inform the Ministry!" Hermione appeared exasperated.

"And cause mass panic? I don't think that's a good idea," Ron stepped away from the table and placed his hands nervously in his pockets.

"RON!" Hermione looked aghast at Ron, "We have to at least inform the Minister – He _is_ in the Order, after all."

"The Ministry already _know_ that something big is happening again…I mean, the Diggory's…" Harry threw his hands up in defeat, " _How_ did they even find out?"

Snape pursed his lips, "That was I. "He watched as the man's eyes darted to his briefly. But Harry noticed how uncomfortable he looked throughout the entire conversation. Eventually, he watched as the man drop his arms to his side, and let out a heavy sigh as he turned from the potion now allowing to cool, "I trailed Death Eaters at Knockturn Alley yesterday evening and uncovered the startling news."

Harry crinkled his eyebrows, "You _followed_ them? Why would you even _risk_ that?"

"You question my methods, Potter?"

"You're supposed to be laying low! You were supposed to be done being a…spy."

"Yes, well, I've been one for years, _thus_ …Like you, I cannot sit idly by. More lives are at stake, "Snape remained cool and passive, as his voice was quiet, yet stern, "You know as well as I that I cannot do nothing."

Harry paused in thought. After a few moments he looked at Hermione and Ron with a defeated look, "Guys…Do you mind if I speak to Professor Snape alone? Please?"

Hermione nodded, "Of course, Harry. We'll be upstairs if you need us." He watched as she gently clasped Ron's hand, and together, ascended the stairs and disappeared from view to the upper floors. Initially Harry remained rooted to the spot, dreading turning around to face the man's onslaught. But he knew they needed to sort things out promptly before they even stopped to consider that they _needed_ to work together in unison.

Mustering up whatever ounce of energy he had, he eventually turned around to look at Snape, who was quite evidently watching his every move. They were both exhausted – Tired of fighting. Tired of losing themselves. Tired of losing others. Every hardship caused a piece of their soul to crumble, and with every one of them, makes the days so much harder to bare. Harry was already broken enough and knowing that people were risking their lives like this, hurt him more than he cared to admit. Even Snape – The man had done enough for this fight, and Harry knew it. He risked absolutely everything to see the downfall of Voldemort, and yet Harry had the audacity to be the _arsehole_ he wanted to avoid becoming.

Harry felt lost, and he didn't know where to begin. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and stare at the ceiling in self-pity, but he couldn't. This was not over. This fight was not yet over, and he had an obligation to keep going for fear of letting everyone down.

Harry looked directly at Snape, as he began to speak, as softly and as composed as he could, "Look, I realise I was being unfair to you yesterday, but you have to understand that I had hoped we could work together. I'm not eleven years old anymore, Professor. I need you to work _with_ me, not against me. I need you to trust me."

Snape tilted his head, as he listened to the boy's statement. But Harry could tell he was struggling to find the right words as well, "I will not work with anyone who feels the _absolute_ need to blame me for every little thing. I often work alone, Potter. I cannot have you interfering in something so dangerous."

"Like fighting Voldemort wasn't dangerous? I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry for being _angry_ at you yesterday, "Harry was trying really hard to be sincere, but he was stumbling on the right words to say. "You left without us, and…I thought we were going to work together. For once. I _genuinely_ want to help you."

Snape looked exhausted. The Gryffindor watched as he slowly took a seat at the stool by the desk and clasped his hands neatly on his lap. The man appeared paler than usual, almost a sickly grey tinge to his skin. The Head of Slytherin wasn't wearing his usual billowing travelling cloak; Instead, adorned in the dark purple ensemble he has seen him wear multiple times. Without the cloak, Harry noticed the man looked even thinner in appearance. Well, at least Harry knew he wasn't the only one who has lost his appetite in the last few weeks.

"Potter, we have _far_ too much history between us. However, my actions were _only_ to keep you safe. I still stand by that, even despite the now-fulfilled Prophecy."

"I don't want people risking their lives for me again. _Not_ even you - No matter _what_ our history is - "Harry eventually decided to take a seat next to his old Professor and leaned back against the table. "We're on the same side. Obviously, I didn't _know_ that before. But things are different now. _We_ are different now. Surely you must agree on that. I know we haven't been able to find a middle ground, but we need to work together on this."

"Not everything revolves around you, Potter. Other lives are also at stake, "Snape pondered that statement for a moment, until he gave a curt nod, "Indeed, Potter. Everything is different."

"I know that, "Harry drew in a deep breath, "If we alert the Ministry, they'll know you're here. You can't help us if you get sent to Azkaban."

"I am acutely aware of my dilemma. However, remaining in the shadows is _undoubtedly_ , my specialty. Nevertheless, it seems my work is never done. I'm working in conjunction with another to obtain the information that we need in order to prevent this impending catastrophe."

Harry furrowed his brow, "Who is it?"

"I cannot reveal that, Potter. For your own good."

Harry let out a small sigh, and nodded, "Fine. If you can't tell me that, then tell me why you left out the asphodel in your antidote? You must have had a particularly good reason, "Harry hesitated, and lowered his head in guilt, "And yeah…I found out what that question meant. Look, I never knew…If I knew that was an apology…Things would have been _very_ different for us. I would have understood, and maybe not have been such a git."

Snape was silent, as he closed his head in mild defeat. There was a pause between them, and Harry could sense the man's inner struggle, even though he was quite good as keeping his expressions rather passive. After a short while, Snape finally opened his eyes and looked back at the Gryffindor. His expression now solemn, with heavy sadness now evident in the man's dark eyes, "I meant that wholeheartedly. It was coded because you were not yet ready to understand. You were far too young to comprehend it. _Listen_ to me, Potter – _Harry_ \- It was...an accident. I never anticipated he'd come after your parents, your mother…It was all my fault. Furthermore, I take full responsibility for _everything_ that escalated as a result of that."

He shook his head and glanced at the man sadly, "Why didn't you apologise to me in person? Back then…"

"I simply could not bring myself to do it, because even after all this time, the guilt still destroys me. You asked why I left out the asphodel...that is my reason. Ironic, really."

Harry's heart grew still, yet incredibly pained. He simply could not believe what he was implying. "You…Still want to…?" He couldn't finish those words.

Snape remained silent, as he looked away. They sat there together in silence for what felt like an eternity; Both overcome with guilt, and past suffering. Heartaches beyond measure. Their relationship was complicated, but Harry was relieved deep down that they were technically no longer enemies. It definitely accounted for something, and that was important to the Gryffindor. But he could not, for the life of him, understand how the man welcomed his death sentence so casually. Like, he could throw it all away. Harry obviously could never understand the true extent of the man's pain, but his own ran just as deep. Everyone keeps disappearing from his life. Every adult figure he has ever had in his life, either treated him horribly, kept secrets from him – often both – and the ones who genuinely cared for him and protected him have now since died for the cause. Only a few adult figures remained in his life. Snape kind of fell into the centre of that.

He felt abandoned, and he didn't know how to tell him that.

"You _have_ to keep fighting, Snape. We've both lost too much. I want to give up, too, but…I can't. My friends need me," Harry spoke quietly.

"Yes, well, Potter, I am absent of those. However, I do understand."

"I know we're not exactly friends, but you have allies. _Proper_ allies, now. You don't have to pretend anymore."

"It's not that straightforward, "Snape said, tight-lipped. "You need support, but I do not know how to efficiently provide that. I cannot _promise_ you anything Potter, however, I will do my best to be a little more… _dependable_. If you so wish."

"I-I don't know. I'm scared to really depend on anyone, because everyone that I've ever put trust in, or care for, leaves me. Or dies. I don't want to lose anyone else," Harry shamefully choked through those last few words, feeling wrecked with his looming sadness. He removed his glasses, and quickly rubbed his tear-soaked eyes. He felt embarrassed and ashamed of himself; he has never been open about this before. Not even to Hermione and Ron, least of all Severus Snape. Hastily placing his glasses back on his wary face, he tried to avoid the man's gaze. He really was a mess. "You are the last proper tie to my mother. _We_ can at least keep fighting for her."

Severus Snape hesitated, as he began to register exactly what the boy had said. In a way, he understood. The only person he really could depend on was Lily - And he messed that up entirely. Snape tilted his head slightly, as his thin lips curved to a small smile, "I suppose in the end, what we both did, we did for her."

Finally, their middle ground. Despite each of their own moral problems they both faced, at least they could try and see reason with each other. Both were ultimately afraid for vastly different reasons. On one side, Harry had difficulty accepting the losses in his life, and no matter how hard he tried, people kept leaving him. Either metaphorically in the dark, or permanently. He sacrificed his childhood fighting an enemy far greater than he could have ever imagined, because people were relying on him to. But the fallout from that fight stole too much of his spirit and will, and that shattered his heart in so many painful ways. One the other side was Severus Snape – Already still consumed with guilt from his past mistakes, who not only has a personal dilemma regarding his own life, but an unforeseeable duty to _keep_ protecting Harry at all costs, despite the Dark Lord's downfall. He gave up fighting for acceptance and trust, in the midst of his own self-loathing, while battling his own will to live. A part of him wanting to give up entirely – end his suffering quickly. But the other part of him wanted one last chance to do the right thing and help a boy thrown into the centre of his dismal life who clearly needed guidance and direction.

They both desperately needed purpose.

"Potter – your arm…" Harry's thoughts were disrupted by a slightly panicked Snape. He felt a gentle hand wrap around his right wrist, and it wasn't until those few seconds, did he finally look down to find a trickle of blood oozing from his wound. During entire duration of the conversation, Harry didn't realise he had been picking at it from under the bandage, in all his anxiety and worry. He lifted his left hand to find it smeared with blood, which had also caked under his thin fingernails. Immediately, Snape removed the now-bloodied bandages, and transfigured a blank parchment on the table into a cloth. He held it against the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Harry watched as he tended to the wound carefully, and eventually sealed the wound as best it could using magical and Muggle methods. His arm was still heavily scarred, which will never heal completely, but it was now a matter of avoiding touching it out of habit and stress.

Harry hung his head through the silence that followed and looked away. He struggled to even look at him. When the professor finally re-bandaged his arm, he felt Snape's gaze over his face. But he also realised that Snape had kept his hand lingering on Harry's wrist for a few moments after he was finished, before finally releasing his grasp.

Harry began to cradle his injured arm and shot an appreciative glance Snape, "…Thanks."

Snape looked concerned, as he leaned forward resting his elbows onto his knees, with his hands clasped firmly. He spoke softly and reassuringly, "If you are comfortable – and _only_ if you are - I'd like to suggest staying here to oversee and assist with further operations. I realise you had already previously suggested this as a safehouse, but given our situation, I did not want to further complicate things. Having already treated you unfairly recently, I can offer you this. This is purely _your_ choice. I understand if you don't want me here. Regardless, either decision does not inhibit my ability to protect you."

Harry nodded slowly, "That would be great. We still have a lot to do here, and we could really use your help. Though, I don't like the idea of you risking yourself as a spy again."

"I appreciate the concern Potter, but I may not have any other choice in the matter. We need more information, and this is the only way to do it." Snape leaned back in his seat, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think we should round up the remaining Order for an urgent meeting. Professor McGonagall, and the Weasley's…I also have a few DA members who want to help, "Harry explained, "Strength in numbers."

"You will oppose of my next piece of advice, but it is imperative that Minister Shacklebolt shall be informed of these meetings. He is, after all, Order as well. Now that we have a good man in charge of the Ministry, we can be assured that he will do what is necessary. "

"But he'll know you're here – "

"I'm afraid I will not be able to keep a low profile with him for long. Perhaps I can negotiate my assistance to the cause in exchange. It is imperative that I speak with him directly about what I know, "Snape finally stood up, wincing in slight pain from the brief strain in his neck, "I will discuss this option with Professor McGonagall immediately, but Kingsley _must_ be made aware so he can take action. We need heavy assistance if we are to track down and prevent this oncoming attack. They could strike anywhere, that is, if we are assuming there will only be one."

The colour drained from Harry's face with the thought of such a thing, as he also stood up from his seat, "Yeah, I suppose so. Are you sure you are making the right decision? You know – Giving up your freedom?"

"Whatever gave you the impression that I was free? Now," Snape raised his eyebrow, "I will discuss this with the Headmistress. Meanwhile, I suggest you take extra _care_ of yourself, Potter. And I mean that in a personal sense. Understood?"

"Yes, sir. I'll try…Thank you. I really mean that."

Snape nodded, with a hint of a smile on his face, ever so delicately as a blink-and-you'll-miss-it. He lingered there for a moment, without a word, before disappearing up the staircase and onto the main floor to depart from the residence. Once it was safe to do so, Harry smiled in return, revelling in the display that no one else could see. Oh, he was absolutely relieved. The conversation he was dreading for a while, now finally over, and it went better than he had hoped. There were no arguments, no hurled insults…He never thought he'd ever talk with Snape like this. In all his years of being the terrorized student in his class, did he ever foresee something like this. He could only imagine what Remus and Sirius would make of it, but frankly, he only wished that they could been civil with him as well. Remus at least, had a little more understanding for the man's situation, but had Sirius still been here, would have told Snape that he deserved the hatred that he received.

The more he thought about it, the more he was glad he didn't do the things his father did. Sure, Harry was a notorious Hogwarts rule-breaker with a tendency to be sharp with his words. But he knew deep down that he wasn't like him. He loved his father, but knowing he really was more like his mother, made him relieved.

Oh, what he'd give to see her again –

With that thought as realisation hit him, he reached into his pocket and retrieved the small object that he found in the Forbidden Forest a few days ago. The glittering dark jewel in his palm.

It was the Resurrection Stone.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE: So, regarding the hint of the Nazi regime, I really want to be clear that I only want to take elements from that, and not replicate it. In no way do I intend to touch up on that part of history, especially due to its sensitivity. But I always place DE ideals with that of the reign of Hitler, so I may write DE ideals with that in mind. Nor will I have that part of history, take over the plots of this story. Just thought i'd elaborate on that.**


	16. A Call to Arms

**NOTE** : There is a common theme of choice in this story that I'd like to enforce the importance of. For characters we know in canon through the Potterverse history, we know that everything comes down to the choices we make. For some of our favourites, some didn't have much of a choice, and their path was essentially chosen and paved for them. And some chose the wrong choice. Now since Voldemort's downfall, we find that suddenly, they have been given choices that they were never presented with earlier. For some, it is important that one makes their own choices. I think that is a wonderful part of some of these characters, and an evolution of their personality and ambitions with that realisation, that yes, they can make their own decisions now. They no longer have to answer to anyone or be forced to make impossible choices, especially centring around Voldemort anymore. Their decisions are based on this, and I'd like to highlight that.

Also, this chapter is a bit hectic, so I apologise in advance. I had so many possibilities mapped out for this particular scenario, and this one seemed to scream out to me the most and felt more plausible to me. This is just always how I imagined this going. You'll see why when you read through the chapter.

Lastly, keeping in mind that it's only still been a few weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts, so no crazy time jumps.

* * *

CHAPTER 16: A Call to Arms

"I find it hilarious that the Ministry are confused as to how two rope-bounded unconscious Death Eaters appeared in the Atrium of the Ministry, "Ron rustled _The_ _Daily_ _Prophet_ in his hand, as he sat around the kitchen table with the others that same morning, "I can't believe Snape did that. He has a strange sense of humour, that one."

"Do you think telling our parents about him is a great idea? Mum is going to hit to roof, "Ginny looked concerned, "I mean, I know she was always kind of fond of him, but dad might have a row."

"He agreed that we should inform them. He is basically _choosing_ to give up his disappearance to help us. Well, at least tell a select few, "Harry nodded, "No one else has to know. I just don't want people going after him with torches and pitchforks."

"The main concern is how the Minister will react. By law, he will be obliged to put him in custody. But as an Order member, we may be able to reason with him," Hermione explained.

"Or least hold off any possible sentence until after this catastrophe is dealt with. We are lucky it's Kingsley, and not Fudge," Ginny intercepted.

"It's quite plausible, "Hermione stated, "We can only hope Kingsley can see reason. It does put him in an awkward spot, though. There is no good option for Snape either way. He doesn't exactly have a clean record. At least we know Professor McGonagall said she'd be willing to testify to the Wizengamot. We can do the same if the situation calls for it."

"Right now, let's just wait to see how Kingsley will take this. I can't imagine him _wanting_ Snape thrown in Azkaban," Harry responded, "He's smarter than that, and he knows he'll be of use to us still."

Harry, Ron and Hermione had re-grouped in the dining room to discuss the potential disaster regarding what they discovered about the alarming concoction and what that meant. The idea of that put everyone's nerves on edge as they anticipated the eventful day ahead when they round up the other members of the Order of the Phoenix. Snape had disappeared to confront McGonagall at Hogwarts about attending the meeting, meanwhile the four Gryffindors were in deep discussion all morning going through all the complicated possibilities. Kreacher was moving around the kitchen lightly banging on pots and pans while preparing lunch, while Harry was twirling the golden DA coin in his hand, ready to alert the others once Snape returned. This residence was about to get extremely crowded, very quickly.

There was something quite exciting about uniting everyone again, one last time. Well, what they hoped would be the last time for a long while. It felt much the same way during the time they founded Dumbledore's Army in a desperate bid to learn practical spells to protect themselves in an eventual attack, while Dolores Umbridge mad it her mission to prevent that from happening. The DA was such a success, that it not only acted essentially as a study group, but a freedom fighter rebellion. It was the adrenaline rush of summoning those willing participates in a call to arms to help them rid of Voldemort and his dark regime of eliminating the world of anyone not pure of blood. The DA was more than either of them could have ever imagined, and that itself, made Harry feel incredibly proud.

Now during this time, he understood why the others were so willing to call upon them once again. Harry hesitated and dismissed the idea at first, for fear of putting his fellow classmates and dearest friends in danger again. But he soon realised that the DA was voluntary – People _willingly_ signed up and continued to aid them even in the battle of Hogwarts. That alone convinced Harry that they genuinely wanted to help and make a difference, much like himself. They were not forced into this. Except this time, they were a truly united front. The Order, although mostly diminished, had fought in both the First and Second War. The DA no longer had to fight under the radar in Hogwarts during Voldemort's reign anymore. It was exhilarating that both allied groups can work together in unison now.

That was enough to give Harry hope.

Soon enough, they heard the front door swing wildly open, echoing in the hallway as the door slammed against the wall – albeit, Mrs Black goes off once again - and immediately they could hear familiar voices arguing.

"I am _unimpressed_ with you, Severus! How could do even think of duelling them – and with the students no less!" Unmistakably Professor McGonagall. And she was livid.

"We _handled_ it, "Snape sounded extremely annoyed, "They are no longer children anymore, Minerva."

"You could have at least informed me for assistance. Good grief – "

The Gryffindors bolted upright in their seats and watched as McGonagall glided in swiftly into the dining room in her emerald green cloak, with Snape comically trailing behind in defeat clearly losing the argument. It was like seeing a child being scolded. The Headmistress stopped suddenly and stared at each one of them over the rim of her half-moon glasses, looking completely furious and disappointed with the students looking at her with worried anticipation.

" _Every_ year is the same, with you lot, "Minerva crossed her arms over her chest, "You need to draw the line somewhere, and refrain from taking matters into your _own_ hands for once. Mr Potter, you should have stayed within Hogwarts grounds like you were instructed to."

"I'm better use here, Professor. Besides, no one is doing anything about this, _except_ us, "Harry glanced at Snape, and then back at the Headmistress, "I'm going to re-establish the Order."

McGonagall sighed, "Let the Ministry handle this – "

"It wasn't a request. I'm _going_ to set up a meeting to discuss what we know."

Snape turned to his colleague, "I suggested we allow Kingsley in on these meetings. He must know the extent of this arising situation. We mustn't delay this any longer."

The elderly witch shot the brooding Professor a look of surprise, "And are you comfortable being out in the open, Severus? I thought we had agreed that it wasn't a wise decision?"

"Certainly not, but I have no other logical choice, Minerva. I have information that he must hear directly from me."

McGonagall gave a heavy sigh, "Very well." She turned to Ron, "Mr. Weasley. Please go and summon your parents immediately. Severus, another word if you please." Shooting the students another warning look, lingering her gaze more so on Harry, she turned and motioned for Snape to follow her upstairs. Swiftly, the pair disappeared from the dining room.

Ron looked hopelessly at his sister, "Want to do the honours, Ginny?"

"I think not, Ronald, "Ginny smirked, "Older sibling honour. At least mum will yell at you first."

"Gee, thanks. Looking forward to it."

Hermione and Harry chuckled in amusement, as Ron looked just as miserable with his dreaded upcoming task.

"Just tell her Harry's here. That'll lighten her mood a little, "Ginny continued to tease, but as serious as the situation was, it was rather amusing.

Grumbling to himself, Harry watched as Ron headed towards the front door and departed from Grimmauld Place. He turned to look at Hermione with a slight look of uncertainty, "We've made the right choice, haven't we?"

Hermione nodded in all seriousness, "Yes, of _course_ , Harry. I _know_ you wanted to do this your way, but this is far bigger than all of us. What we thought would be a simple task of finding Death Eaters, we've now uncovered what appears to be a, well…a plot of a potentially devastating attack. This is incredibly frightening. Especially now that we know they've also been attempting to brew Polyjuice Potion. They could be anywhere. Or anyone."

"You're right. Besides, we can all work together now. Ministry, the Order, and the DA…We need all the help that we can get, "Harry shrugged, "And no more secrets this time. We don't have to worry about tip-toeing around Voldemort anymore."

"Well, there is that. On that thought, I do feel rather good about this. If anything, the Death Eaters know we are onto them. They'll be running scared. But, _that_ unfortunately, makes them more dangerous and reckless. We still need to be incredibly careful."

"It's hard to properly grieve when danger still lurks at every corner, isn't it? We'll learn to move on somehow when this is all dealt with, "Ginny gave Harry and Hermione a wary smile.

Harry nodded, as there was a slight pause between them. Eventually, Harry lightly cleared his throat, "Hermione - You've been so wrapped up and worried about me since the battle, that I was an arse to you and never stopped to ask how you were. I've been selfish."

Hermione shook her head, "You have every right to feel that way, Harry. You've been through more than most of us, "She stopped to stare at her hands briefly, "I still get night terrors of being tortured by Bellatrix back at Malfoy Manor…It's hard not to think about it, when so many things give you that painful reminder. Ron has been great with me and helping me deal with it."

Ginny smirked lightly, "He better, or I'll have words with him later." She leaned over to give Hermione a comforting hug, leaving Harry's heart to swell with the tender moment between his friends.

But that was cut short when they began to hear a heated conversation arising from upstairs. Harry glanced alarmingly at his friends, as his eyes travelled upwards in curiosity. They were able to strain their ears enough to make out the conversation through the frail, thin walls of the house. It was no doubt Snape and McGonagall – He has never really heard either of them shout before.

"I will _not_ allow you to encourage them!"

"They are of age now, Minerva. They have the right to _choose_ where they stand."

"Albus would not have allowed this. He would not have allowed you to put him – _them_ \- in danger again."

"Absurd! The old _fool_ put him in danger when he kept his precious secrets from him all this time. He had several opportunities to lesson Potter's hardships, and yet he did not take them."

"I agree that his methods were unjust, but you _cannot_ pretend you didn't have a hand on causing poor Potter unnecessary resentment all these years. You had a choice too, Severus."

"Yes, and look where those _wretched_ choices landed me. You couldn't begin to understand them, Minerva! No wonder Albus couldn't trust you with any of this…He would not have even allowed me to inform you. It was not my fault he kept you in the dark."

"You know we could never understand his reasonings, but we trusted him, nevertheless. Now is the time to do the right thing. Voldemort is gone, and you have the chance to make the _right_ choices from now on. It will never erase your mistakes – you _know_ this - but it will at least give you the peace of mind you so need."

"Potter is still under my protection – That is _my_ choice. No longer Albus'."

They noticed a pause in the conversation, "I am relieved to hear that. And I am truly grateful that you did not walk away. Albus would have been, too."

"It was…a surprise to me, also. I've spoken with Potter. We're handling it."

"Good. I suggest you take extra care of yourself, Severus. And I don't mean that in the obvious sense. If you want to continue protecting the boy, then _please_ …Try not to get yourself killed again. As much as you oppose what I am about to tell you, but you are no use to _anyone_ dead. This is your second chance. Don't throw it away for many a decades-long grudge. "

There was another pause, "I'm no good, Minerva. You know that. I'm a terrible man, who has done terrible things. That cannot be erased."

"Terrible things, yes. Terrible man, maybe a long time ago, yes, but I do not believe that of you now. If you were so terrible, you would have never tried to save the life of a woman and her child. I agree that you were so _difficult_ with Potter for personal reasons, and yet you _still_ kept him safe all this time…You cannot forget that." There was yet another pause between the pair, and Harry could have sworn he heard a light sob but he wasn't sure, until McGonagall spoke again more softly this time, that Harry could barely hear. "…It'll be alright, Severus. You belong here, with us. We'll figure it out. "

Harry's heart twisted in knots.

Harry looked at Ginny and Hermione and proceeded to shift uncomfortably in his seat and watched as each of them appeared just as speechless. Hermione looked incredibly saddened, whilst Ginny bit her lip clearly upset by the scenario they just overheard. Still holding the golden master coin, Harry spoke the incantation to its surface, and proceeded to summon the others giving them the meeting time and location. He only hoped that more will show up than he anticipated, especially given the recent unsuccess of the first meeting at the Room of Requirement.

Harry felt uneasy with the conversation they just overheard, and he couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty. He knew he shouldn't, but it could not stop that feeling bubble up within himself every time his name is mentioned. It seems he wasn't the only one with painful moral dilemmas, and in this instance, he felt immense empathy for Snape. As best he could, anyway, but that sorrow for him was enough to make him feel rather ill. Why must emotions be so complicated? He spent years hating him, but as the layers of the man's damaged soul slowly peeled away, he began to understand him a little better. They were so very far from that true level of awareness with each other, but at least they were both willing to compromise a part of themselves to aid them on this new and challenging path.

Since seeing the man at death's door, his perception of him changed. There was something different about witnessing a man dying in front of your eyes, whom you initially wanted dead and loathed for so many years. Harry despised himself since for ever feeling that way, and once he viewed the man's memories, everything changed. Because it all started to make perfect sense, once those final puzzle pieces melted together, and he could finally see the bigger picture.

Now hoping their new relationship – if you could even call it that – could give them both the peace they so desperately needed. If anything, it was a start.

Suddenly, Harry's drifting thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sudden noise erupting through Grimmauld Place, as several people made their way through the front doors, led by Molly Weasley. It was almost in parallel to McGonagall and Snape not too long ago, as Arthur and Ron followed the Weasley matriarch to the dining room.

"Oh, Harry, dear!" Harry didn't get a word in, as Molly swept him into a massive hug enough to knock the wind out of him. As per her motherly habit, she tried to desperately sweep away the wayward hairs on Harry's messy head, failing to part it neatly as his hair simply sprang back stubbornly. "Are you alright? If I had known this place was overrun with Death Eaters, Arthur and I would have helped you. "

"Greetings, Harry -" Arthur followed Molly, but his expression looked a little too stern and thin-lipped for Harry's liking, "Ron has informed us on that. Very, very dangerous indeed. "

"What were you all _thinking_!" Molly continued, as Ron took a seat at the table, followed by – to their surprise – George Weasley, who walked in the room with his head down, hoping to avoid the sympathetic gazes as he sat down. He had never seen the man so broken in all the years he has known him, and that crushed Harry's soul tenfold.

But as the minutes ticked by, more and more familiar faces piled in the dining room, which now seemed to be growing more cramped. Following George was Lee Jordon who sat beside him with his hand on his shoulder reassuringly, with Parvati and Padma Patil behind them. Then Katie Bell, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas made their way inside and took their seats, chatting amongst themselves, with Luna and Neville shortly behind. Suddenly Harry's anxiety tripled and felt suffocated with the amount of people currently in the room. Arthur ended up transfiguring extra chairs and a table extension, whilst poor Kreacher was hastily serving lunch on the table, consisted of a large pot of vegetable soup and an assortment of sandwiches. Some of the students began to help themselves almost immediately.

With the rising voices in the room, McGonagall finally joined the ensemble of newcomers, with Snape quite far behind – He could tell by the sullen and pale look on the man's face that he was now regretting his decision to be there, but he watched as he lingered hopelessly in the shadows behind the doorframe, not quite ready to step into the room yet. Green found the black as Harry locked eyes with Snape briefly as their shared gaze was enough to register between the both of them that they wanted to escape the rising chaos in the room. Those unspoken words spoke volumes, especially when Harry noticed Snape's eyebrow crinkled slightly in worry. Harry gave the man a slight nod in understanding, so far being the only one to notice him there. At least he finally understood why the Potions Professor preferred to stay in the silence of the dungeons.

It wasn't long until Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt entered the premises, sweeping down the corridor to the now uncomfortably crowded dining room, with his usual periwinkle blue and purple ensemble. He had already carried a welcoming presence in his usual demeanour, but now being the new Minister, he carried far more authority and became more commandeering in his newfound presence. And yet, he was always fair, making decisions with his good-hearted nature and clear judgement. As he entered the room, everyone fell silent almost immediately, as he settled to stand at the head of the table with Headmistress Minerva McGonagall by his side.

He turned to address everyone, slightly clearing his throat before he did so, "I had hope that we didn't have the need to re-group this soon after recently suffering such terrible losses. But alas, it has come to my attention that it is far from over." Harry watched as he took a deep breath, and slowly scanned the room, "With great sympathy, I commend you all for your efforts in keeping our world safe. Minerva and I have been attempting to organise a memorial at Hogwarts for the fallen, but now it seems as if that may not be the wisest decision at this current time. Furthermore, as I've been informed, the Ministry and the Auror Office have been diligently working overtime to apprehend the remaining threats. But it seems like a near impossible task, especially with our dwindled Auror numbers. Now, I believe you have further crucial information for me, Minerva?"

McGonagall nodded, "Yes, Mr Shacklebolt – "

"Hey, what is _he_ doing here?!" Katie Bell gasped, as she pointed to the doorway where Snape was lurking, causing everyone else to follow her line of sight in surprise. Suddenly, the room was in chaos once again, as some of the students who were unaware of his presence, began to talk amongst themselves. A few of them stood up immediately, as chairs painfully scraped the floorboards.

Arthur Weasley took a step forward, frowning at Severus Snape with an anger that Harry had never seen on the man before, "Severus, you shouldn't be here. You should be _ashamed_ of yourself! You are no longer welcome - "

Molly Weasley slapped her husband on the arm and turned on her heel to face him with a wild look in her eyes, "Arthur, that is _not_ appropriate! We've _had_ this discussion. Not another word from you!" Molly turned to look at Snape with an expression of genuine sympathy, "…Severus, dear."

"Right, that's it for me then. I don't want to be here, "Seamus Finnigan, being one of the few to stand up beside Katie and Lee Jordon, leaving Dean Thomas looking betrayed by his friends, "I'm not standing in the same room as him!"

"Oi, don't be a bloody idiot. Sit down, will you!" Ron turned angrily at Seamus.

Seamus fired him a growl, "Or what?"

" _Language_ Ronald!" Molly shrieked angrily at her son, in the midst of the rising pandemonium happening in the dining room.

"I'm not comfortable with him being here. Sorry, but I just can't deal with that, "Katie looked frightened by the brooding dark Professor eying her with disdain and narrowed eyes, but was confronted instead by a furious looking Ginny.

"Don't be so daft! Maybe you should hear what he has to say first?" Ginny frowned.

Seamus leaned in towards Ginny, pointing an accusing finger at Snape in the doorway, " _He_ is to blame for all of this! What's there to talk about? He _killed_ Dumbledore! He let the Carrows torture us all flippin' year!"

"Seamus, mate, cut it out!" Dean was starting to get fired up, holding his hands up in defence, "Ginny's right – stop jumping to conclusions until we've heard him out."

Soon enough, the room erupted with arguments, causing Harry to slowly lose his mind amongst the bubbling chaos. He looked over at Neville and Luna who appeared absolutely devastated with the sudden turn of events and kept quiet mostly due to the shock of the outbursts. Kingsley, being the usual gentle soul, could barely usher a word in an attempt to silence the rowdy students. McGonagall appeared absolutely dumbfounded, as she removed her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose; face contorted in disgust and shocked by the behaviour of her fellow Gryffindors. Kreacher had already disappeared and locked himself in his little kitchen cupboard – something that Harry wished he could do at this point. The Patil twins were in disbelief, not wanting to verbalise their thoughts, and remained silent, huddling together. Poor George Weasley had his head buried in his hands, keeping silent, and Hermione sat there with her mouth gaped open in disbelief.

It was utter madness.

He could hear some of the students shouting things like ' _Evil_!'. ' _Coward_!'. ' _Murderer_!', amongst the in-fighting. But the voices were all a blur, and in the end, he couldn't distinguish who was saying what. He was appalled by the behaviour taking place.

Anger was bubbling very quickly within Harry, as his breath began to elevate and heavy heart pounding with adrenaline. He couldn't believe what he was hearing – this was not how he anticipated this meeting to go, and he expected better from them. Now he regretted even suggesting the idea, and he was sure as hell that Snape was thinking the same thing. He was afraid to look at the man at this point, knowing very well every word, and every insult, added just another blow to the man's delicate psyche. But he was still concerned, and soon enough, he eventually chose to glance quickly at the Professor – His heart seemed to break once he did.

The man looked absolutely defeated. Harry could see him tense his jaw, and lips twitching, trying desperately to maintain a controlled demeanour. Snape moved slowly back into the shadows of the corridor, beyond the room, and hung his head slightly; curtains of black hair falling upon his face. But Snape wouldn't look at the boy in return.

Harry had seen and heard enough – Slamming his fist on the wooden table with a loud bang, he rose up suddenly causing his face to flush with anger, "Everyone SHUT UP! Just STOP! We didn't summon you here, so you act like a pack of rabid beasts. What the hell has gotten into you lot? We're here to have a meeting, not condemn Professor Snape for his actions. He helped save us all. If you can't accept that, then bugger off!"

There was immediate silence, and all that could be heard was Harry struggling to maintain regular steady breaths. It was a solid few minutes before anyone spoke or did anything.

Headmistress McGonagall cleared her throat slightly, as her voice remained quiet, yet shaky, "You lot should be ashamed of yourselves…Have you learned nothing at Hogwarts? As your Head of Gryffindor, I am absolutely appalled by your behaviour. Before you so rudely interrupted, I was about to address a few important things. Professor Severus Snape, being one of them." McGonagall looked over at Snape and motioned for him to re-enter the room once more. Despite the few cold hard glares he received, he did so without question, and moved to stand beside his friend and colleague. He managed to compose himself and adopt his usual impassive gaze now that he was back in the unfortunate limelight. He scanned each student with a stern and fixated gaze, reminding Harry of being back in Potions class. That was one way to silence the room, now that things were mildly under control for the time being. The air was still thick with tension.

McGonagall continued, "Now – As you have already observed, _yes_ , Severus Snape is here with us. As Potter already addressed us when he fought You-Know-Who, this man standing beside me, fought alongside Albus Dumbledore in order to maintain his Death Eater status as a spy for us. With _great_ risk to his own life, he protected Harry Potter after all this time. Albus' death was predetermined as he was already a dying man. It was Albus who requested Severus to end his life, to seal his place amongst the Death Eater ranks, and work alone. Ultimately, he gave his life to help Harry defeat You-Know-Who using precious information only Severus had." She took a deep breath and continued, "With that in mind, I will kindly ask you to _refrain_ from your harsh judgement, and work alongside him as we end this war once and for all. As a united front."

Minister Shacklebolt bowed his head in respect of the monologue given by the Headmistress, "Thank you, Minerva. I couldn't have worded that better myself. With that in mind, I presume, Severus, that you were responsible for the two Death Eaters arriving – amusingly, I might add - incapacitated in the Atrium?"

Snape nodded once, "That is correct. With assistance from Potter and his entourage."

The Minister nodded, "Well done. Once this meeting is over, I will need to discuss with you a matter of significant concern. I gather you understand what that may imply. "

"Of course, Minister."

"Now, I believe you have some important information for us to address?"

Waiting for everyone's full attention, Snape began to explain the incident at Grimmauld Place upon the discovery of the hazardous concoction and the poorly brewed and half-completed Polyjuice potion. He told them that Walden Macnair – one of the surviving Death Eaters – was still at large, along with his excursion at Knockturn Alley. He informed them that it was he who eavesdropped on the fate of the Diggory's, and the mysterious figure obtaining a large box of mysterious potions ingredients from Mr Mulpepper's Apothecary, making sure to keep Draco's name out of the conversation.

Everyone else had – _thankfully_ – refrained from causing any further conflict during this time. Katie and Seamus still appeared uneasy, and Harry was surprised they didn't already leave when he yelled at them. He could tell that they were silently seething from anger where they stood, and Harry couldn't help but become so disappointed in them. Once he eventually had the opportunity, he was going to have words with them both – Seamus, Lee and Katie especially – and put them both in their place. He didn't care what he said, and he was sure as hell not going to be nice about it. He wasn't done with them.

Trying his best to ignore his simmering rage, he turned his attention back to Snape who had just finished explaining the details to the Minister.

"So, "The Minister leaned forward against the chair, steadying himself with his hands as he remained standing, "We have much to do. Since we lost several Aurors in the battle at Hogwarts, there are very few that I can spare. We need extra eyes out there stationed at high-volume locations. Minerva. Severus. I must ask the both of you to continue monitor, co-ordinate and lead these missions with anyone in the Order who is willing. I can handle the Auror Office and assign several to you. The Auror team stationed at Hogwarts shall remain there for extra security."

"I will, "Snape nodded, as he gently clasped his hands behind his back "I must request, Minister, that I formulate a team to accompany me to reclaim my residence. I believe Death Eaters may also be there."

"Alright, Severus. However, please update me on anything else you discover, "Minister Shacklebolt reached out to pat Snape on the shoulder, until he turned to the rest of the room, "Anyone else have any questions? And _only_ questions, no objections."

There was a moment of heavy silence, during which, Harry's eyes swept through every face in the room waiting for the next person to rattle his nerves. He noticed Molly Weasley grabbing hold of her husband by the arm firmly, holding him back and he could see the internal struggle on Arthur's face.

"Nothing else? Alright – meeting adjourned for the moment. Please, keep a watchful eye, "Kingsley Shacklebolt turned to McGonagall and Snape, "A word, if you please?"

Harry released the breath he didn't realise he held, as he watched Snape and McGonagall follow the Minister upstairs. The room was still quiet as they departed the dining room, and he could still feel the tension in the air; but the silence became too suffocating. Without thinking, he turned to face Seamus, Lee and Katie with a look of pure disgust. "How _bloody_ dare you – I invite you here, and you spill your _senseless_ BS in this meeting! When I fought Voldemort for the last time, I _told_ you lot that he was on our side the entire time. He gave up everything to save us, including his dignity. His own life. Yeah, he did terrible things - He was a spy working _against_ him. If you don't want to believe that, then I can't have you here."

It was then Harry decided to storm off, leaving everyone else utterly speechless at his angry outburst, and not without a care in the world with who he offended. Making his way upstairs, Harry found the Minister sitting and talking with McGonagall and Snape in the first floor living room. He walked in and slammed the door behind him, marching over the group, still livid.

"Err, Mr Potter, may I ask you to wait outside?" McGonagall jumped slightly from the sudden slam of the door.

Harry shook his head, "No, I want to be here."

"It's Ministry business – "

"It's alright, Minerva. He can stay, "Kingsley smiled at Harry, as he watched the young man sit down on the single sofa, tapping his fingers in anticipation. "As I was saying, Severus, you realise the situation you are in – It's complicated. I am fully in your support, but that is against my decision to make alone. As Minister…my hands are still tied."

"Kingsley, he can be of great use to us still. He wants to continue to lend his assistance. Surely there is something you can do?" McGonagall spoke with worry in her voice.

"Either way, he can not avoid his sentence. I can delay it for now, but once this catastrophe has been dealt with, I will have no choice but to have him detained, with his wand confiscated. That is my only offer. If you come quietly when the time comes, Severus, there is hope for a reduced sentencing. I respect you, and all that you've done, but I must remain unbiased."

Snape nodded solemnly, "I accept that offer. "

"Oh, Severus – "McGonagall looked saddened.

"Can we testify in his defence?" Harry interjected confidently.

Kingsley glanced at Harry and nodded, "Of course. As long as you feel comfortable standing up against the Wizengamot, then by all means, you may. Which I understand, you've had previous experience with."

Snape tilted his head gently in Harry's direction, with a subtly raised eyebrow, "Potter, that will not be necessary."

"Why not? I'll do it. I won't be the only one who will. I won't let them throw you into Azkaban."

"Let's just deal with the imminent threat first, Kingsley, "McGonagall sighed, "We'll have plenty of time to plead his case. Let's just escape with our lives, first."

"That is reasonable, "Kingsley clasped his hands together, and nodded in Snape's direction, "Just be sure not to stir up too much trouble in the public eye. Am I clear? You're still a wanted man, even more so now that you are a target by your former Death Eaters. I would suggest you stay here within safety, but you and I both know that you will not abide by that. Be careful where you tread, Severus."

Snape pursed his lips together, blinking slowly and looking highly unamused, "I refuse to be housebound like a pet."

"Do what you must, however fair warning, "Kingsley stood up carefully from his seat, "Sirius Black was a wanted man after his escape. His inability to follow the rules we set for him, ultimately sealed his own fate. Don't make that same mistake." He bowed his head respectfully, "I best return to the Ministry. Please inform me of any advancements in the mission."

Swallowing the rising distaste in his throat at the mention of Sirius, Harry watched as the Minister exited the room, leaving the three of them to sit in silence in the minutes following. Eventually, McGonagall rose from her seat, and straightened her emerald velvet cloak, taking a few steps towards Harry with a proud smile on her aged features. Once she was close enough, she outstretched both of her hands and rested them comfortably upon Harry's shoulders. Squeezing lightly, she looked upon Harry.

The Transfiguration Professor lowered her voice, so only he could hear, "Your parents would have been so proud of you, Harry. As am I."

Harry was speechless, and all he could do was nod at the woman in appreciation. Eventually McGonagall left the room as well to leave Grimmauld Place, leaving Snape and himself alone in the room. Harry found himself staring at the door for a while, hoping that they can relish in the peace and quiet for a short while, amidst the chaos that horribly escalated not long before. Eventually, Harry turned to glance at Snape, who was still appearing sickly as ever. Eventually Snape's eyes met his, amongst the flickering light cast by the crackling fireplace.

Snape clenched his jaw, and folded his hands neatly in front of his cascading robes, with a shadow of a grin upon his sallow pale face, "I won't ever be able to get rid of you, will I, Potter?"

Harry snorted, "Not a chance, sir."

Snape paused; his expression turned more serious, "You know, the only one who ever really stood up for me, mostly, was Lily."

Harry hesitated, as his brow furrowed in thought, "Well, someone has to. Besides, I couldn't let them attack you like that."

"Yes. So, I heard."

Harry drew in a deep breath, "I'm going back downstairs to deal with the others. Feel free to pick a room for yourself." He glanced at Snape's crinkled bandage plastered on his neck, and then back at the man's face with a frown, "I'm re-brewing that antidote, whether you help me or not."

"I'm certain your bubbling concoction will further shorten my lifespan," Snape smirked.

Harry shook his head, unamused, "I can't stand your morbid humour sometimes. Seriously."

"You are not so different, Potter."

Harry and Snape glared at each other, and he noticed the man's eyes dart away quickly, possibly regretting what he just blurted out.

"I'll have Hermione help me, "Harry straightened his worn jacket, and made his made to the door, until he turned around for the final time, "Also, Kingsley's right. Don't do something ridiculous and leave when you're supposed to be keeping a low profile. "

Harry didn't wait for a response, as he watched Snape fold his arms over his chest with a grumbled _hmpf_ , staring at the boy with his piercing gaze. He left the man standing in the living room and made his way downstairs to the dining room to meet with the others again.

Once he entered the room, he noticed Seamus, Katie and Lee had already left their company – That was to be expected. The Patil twins and Dean waved goodbye to Harry on their way out as they passed each other in the hallway, and he was thankful that they were able remain on good behaviour despite the previous ruckus. Molly and Arthur stayed for a short while, and eventually left with George back to the Burrow. Neville and Luna were the last to depart.

When only a few of them remained, Harry breathed a sigh of relief once Grimmauld Place was serene again.


	17. Falling Skies

CHAPTER 17: Falling Skies

The night drew closer, finally signifying the end of the ill-fated Order meeting that occurred earlier that day. Snape barely revealed himself for the remainder of that evening, only showing up once to re-check the wards on the residence, and poke his head through the dining room door several times to make sure Harry Potter and his friends were still present.

Harry was constantly relaying the day's scenarios in his mind, trying desperately to convince himself that he said and did the right thing. He had an exceptionally good reason to be angry with his fellow classmates upon their uncalled-for behavior. He spent enough of his fifth year receiving harsh accusations and taunts for his supposed claims on the return of Voldemort, sparking much controversy within that year. Many people didn't believe him, and they didn't hesitate to tell him that. They treated him as a liar, and that set Harry's blood boiling. But regardless, he couldn't bear to see anyone else be attacked with such murderous accusations, especially from things that many failed to hear or understand. He had already told everyone about the truth of Snape's allegiance, and yet so many people didn't want to believe it.

The Gryffindor was already well aware of Snape's worst memories – Especially during their final Occlumency lesson when he realized his father and his friends bullied Snape in their youth. Despite their complicated history, he will not allow that to happen again. Harry's feelings about Snape were extremely complicated, but he'd be damned to let anyone else be treated like that, especially in front of him. The thought of what the man must have endured on a personal level made Harry sick to his stomach. It was no wonder Snape took the dark path.

Harry couldn't help but think that it could have been his fate, too. The only difference is that he had good friends who defended and supported him. Snape, sadly, did not. Lily only was, to an extent. She kept him grounded, until that fateful day. Did Harry forgive the man for all of his past transgression? Definitely not. But he could understand his reasoning for those mistakes, and admittedly, Harry would have made the same mistakes had he not surrounded himself with good people.

During their downtime that day, Harry eventually asked Hermione to help him brew another antidote, as Snape quite obviously didn't want to even think about it. He couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed about how much the man didn't seem to care about his own life, and yet risk it even more so to save another. Like he is so willing to accept his fate so easily. There was something about the way Snape reacted to him volunteering to brew it, that bothered him. He still couldn't understand how a simple ingredient could be left out. Was it Snape's way of telling him that it wasn't going to work? Or was he surprised that Harry was willing to put in the effort to ensure that Snape survives? If there was any possibility of survival.

There just had to be one, right?

He was determined to make this work. He had to at least try. Snape obviously couldn't care less at this point, but he had to. Someone had to.

After Harry voiced his concerns to his friends, the four of them ventured back into the basement to begin work on brewing the antidote. As the group spent some time gathering and preparing the ingredients, Harry retrieved the spare Basilisk fang from his storage, ready to use. They immediately got to work talking among themselves, but Hermione seemed very unsure.

"Harry, you're not going to like what I'm going to say, but…I don't think this is going to work."

"Well, it has to. We know he left out that ingredient on purpose, "Harry exclaimed, hoping that Hermione was not about to convince him otherwise. But the more Harry looked upon the concerned face of his best friend, the more he felt like this was just a wild shot in the dark.

"That's stupid. Why on earth would he do that?" Ron asked.

Harry sighed, hesitating telling his friends the sensitive information, "You _know_ the state we found him in. He…he was prepared to let himself die."

"How do we know this antidote is going to actually _cure_ him? Is it even going to work?" Ginny asked.

"I've been thinking about that since we found out, "Hermione turned to Harry, "Asphodel is a key ingredient, yes, but given Snape's condition…He was horribly bitten multiple times by Nagini. That snake was cursed with dark magic. A simple antidote likely won't cure it."

"We won't know until we try it, Hermione," Harry bit his lip, "Besides, this is no simple antidote. We used the Basilisk fang to destroy Horcrux'…Why won't this work? Nagini was a Horcrux."

"Perhaps that is _specifically_ why it won't work. Because _she_ was a living Horcrux, Snape wasn't. We are not using it on her, but on the Professor. Also don't forget that Voldemort enhanced her with additional magical protections. For all we know, he intended to curse her venom, so that any victim could not survive it no matter how hard they tried. He would have done _anything_ within his limitations to make sure that snake was essentially invulnerable. I mean, he reanimated the dead, for goodness sake. What couldn't he do?"

"A supercharged Horcrux. Great, "Ron interjected, "Also don't forget, Voldemort struck him down before Nagini attacked. We know this because we saw it happen. That curse from the snake has probably halted his healing, for all we know."

Ginny shot them a look of distaste, "That sounds like a ghastly way to go. Besides, Harry, you told us that Dumbledore was already dying. How did that happen, exactly?"

Harry focused on the simmering cauldron in deep thought, throwing in the mint sprigs, trying to think back upon one of the memories that Snape gave him. Sifting through each memory from what he could recall, he closed his eyes, and tried to focus on the one which contained a conversation between Dumbledore and Snape. Oh, how he wished he had the Pensive with him. Eventually, he managed to recall that moment. The Gaunt ring. The blackened hand. Dumbledore's death sentence. Snape attempting to prolong his life. Harry's eyes opened again, and immediately; he felt the blood rush from his face.

Concerned, Hermione stepped closer to him, "Harry, what is it?"

With a bitter note, Harry slowly looked up at Hermione. He couldn't tell if his heart sped up, or simply stopped. His chest hurt with the rising dread within him, "The ring. The _bloody_ Gaunt ring. It cursed Dumbledore. That was his death sentence."

Silence swept over the group, and Hermione let out a small gasp as she realised, "Oh – _Oh_ no. Of course. He didn't _know_ it was a Horcrux when he put in on. That makes perfect sense."

Harry nodded glumly, "Yeah. Even after the ring was destroyed, it still cursed him. It was going to kill him eventually, had he not asked Snape to do it for him." He ran a frustrated hand through his messy hair.

"Blimey, "Ron stood there, aghast. "So…Snape's doomed, then?"

"– _Harry_ …" Hermione knew this was not going to work. And yet Harry tried to convince himself that it would.

"Look, let's just brew this and get it over with. It's better than doing nothing – If this will extend his life, then that's what we'll do. He deserves that much, "Harry averted their worried gazes, and focused his attention on the cauldron in front of him, trying his best to ignore the rising feeling of impending dread. His heart felt heavy.

Several hours later, the four Gryffindors had finished brewing the antidote, leaving eight vials of the freshly made teal-coloured liquid sitting on the table. Without a word, Harry snatched up the vials, and made his way upstairs to pay Professor Snape a visit. He made a detour into the kitchen, and asked Kreacher to prepare some soup and sandwiches to take upstairs. He had never seen him eat anything, since the day he salvaged what he could from the kitchen at Hogwarts. His appetite was just as bad as his, it seems. Eventually, he found the ill-stricken man occupying the master bedroom on the second floor – The same room that Buckbeak used to inhabit when Sirius still lived here. Giving the door a few light knocks, he stood idly by waiting for an answer. He knocked a few more times, but still nothing.

Mustering up the courage, he opened the door slowly and shivered by a mild cool breeze which wafted through the room. Peering through the darkness of the room, he squinted to discover that the window was slightly ajar. The whistling of the wind howling against the windowpane. On the edge of the old four-poster bed, was Snape sitting up and clasping a cloth to his nose. The cloth, as Harry could see, was stained with fresh blood, and beads of sweat ran down the man's ghostly white face. He sat hunched over the edge of the bed, now absent of his dark purple dress coat in all but his white undershirt. Harry looked away briefly, to give the man some shred of decency.

Snape warily looked up at Harry entering the room, "Knocking would have been adequate, Potter."

"I did. You mustn't have heard me, and I…" Harry hesitated, and shook his head instead as he watched the man mop up the blood from his face, "It's getting worse, isn't it?"

Once Snape was done, he performed a cleaning spell on the cloth, removing all evidence of blood, along with the stains trailing down his shirt. He said nothing at this point, and all he could convey was a look of wary distaste as he pursed his lips. Harry didn't want to admit it, but he looked miserable.

Harry carefully set down the food package from the kitchen and began to line up the vials of the new antidote beside it, leaving one resting in his hand. Lifting it up, he extended it towards Snape as he sat down beside the Professor, "Here. And don't argue with me on that this time."

Snape frowned, as he observed the boy with all curiosity. Eyeing the vial in his hand, he gave a small sigh, "You are wasting your time." Despite that, he took the vial gently, and began to observe its contents, scrutinizing every pristine drop; opening the cork top and allowed his nose to linger over the scent. He tilted his head towards Harry, "Passable...but this will not work, Potter."

"But, how do you know if it will?" Harry shoulder's slumped over as he sighed, "Just try it. Please? It's better than nothing -"

"You misunderstand – "

"– No, I _do_ understand. You led me to believe that this was going to fix it, right? I thought you were going to be honest with me?"

"I never said I wasn't. I _never_ led you astray. Yet again, you are _twisting_ my words."

Harry bit his lip, "Look, I get it. It's the Horcrux, isn't it? That's why your…condition…can't be cured. You knew, didn't you? That the antidote was unlikely to actually fix it?"

"I'm a dying man, Potter. It is not complicated."

"Actually, yes, it is. You'd gladly risk sentencing by the Ministry because you don't think you'll live long enough to make it through it. Is that it?"

Snape spoke softly, "The antidote will prolong my life, but not eradicate the curse running through my veins. I will only grow weaker as it progresses. _That_ is my fate – to share the fate of the man that I murdered."

"It wasn't murder, and you know that," Harry scowled, feeling frustrated with the man, "If you're going to ask me to kill you, then you have another thing coming. Just _take_ it. Take the antidote. Please." Harry was pleading with all desperation, in hopes this man would not give up. He cannot give up yet – They've come so far already, and it seems the both of them were fated to help each other in the end. In no way was Harry going to allow this man to succumb to this so-called fate of his. Perhaps Harry was in denial that he was about to lose another person in his life – no matter _who_ they were – but to Harry, this was more than just giving up on life. This was about a man giving up any possibility of a _proper_ life, finally free on his previous constraints that ruled over him. Perhaps Snape was afraid to continue; not quite knowing where he stood in this new world. Perhaps Snape had convinced himself that there was no more happiness to be found. Perhaps Snape didn't realise what his second chance truly meant, as McGonagall had already explained that to him.

Maybe Snape believed that he was not worthy of that second chance, and that his life meant nothing.

What more could Harry Potter do? How can you help a man who was once your enemy? Two unlikely souls now given such a renewed opportunity to be different than they were. To be _better_ than they were. To make better choices. To learn to find any ounce of happiness that may be left, despite their losses. To learn to trust and have faith in another.

Perhaps they both longed for any sense of belonging or even family, that neither felt courageous enough to admit it.

As a strange, yet unusually comfortable silence befell them, slowly Severus Snape – deep in thought himself - re-opened the vial in his hands once more and drank the entirety of its contents in one go. Placing the cork back securely, he set the now-empty vial gently at his bedside. For several unwavering moments, Harry could see the worry etched in the aged creases of his face, which could barely be seen with the dull lamplight casting obscure shadows. If Snape weren't already staring at the empty vial, he could have sworn he even appeared…afraid. Snape's breaths began to gradually stabilize, and a tiny flush of color now appearing on his skin, causing him to appear less ghostly.

Digging into the pocket of his frayed jeans, Harry finally retrieved the tiny Resurrection Stone he had picked up from the forest floor earlier that week. He spent days holding onto it, not knowing what to do with it. But giving this grim turn of events, it seemed obvious to him now. Holding it in the palm of his hand, he turned to Snape, "Do you know what this is?"

Signaling Snape's attention, the man turned to Harry's palm to observe the strange black crystal glistening against his skin. He raised his eyebrow, "What exactly am I looking at?"

"It's the Resurrection Stone. One of the Deathly Hallows. Did Dumbledore ever mention it?"

" _Hmpf_. He never spoke of it, "Snape paused in contemplation, "The Three Brothers…Correct? My mother used to tell of the Tales of Beedle the Bard in my youth, but I don't recall them. That was far too long ago."

"Well, the Elder Wand was _one_ of the Hallows. Then the Invisibility Cloak. And lastly, this. It was more than just a story, Professor."

Snape looked sour, as realisation washed over his face, "…That _blasted_ wand. Of course."

"The Resurrection Stone – Dumbledore gave this to me before I…well, died. In the Forest...By Voldemort. It can bring back someone temporarily who has passed -"

Snape's dark eyes grew wide, as he drew back "- _Why_ would you show this to me?"

"I just thought, perhaps you wanted to use it? On one condition that you limit –"

Suddenly, Snape's face twisted into a snarl, "NO. Destroy it. Bury it. I do not want it in my sight." He paused, then looked away sadly. "I _refuse_ to meddle with such a thing. I understand very well the ramifications of that. You should, also."

"I saw my mum and dad that night with it, Snape. With Remus and Sirius. They helped me get through it. Maybe it can help you, too."

"My answer is still _no_."

"Why not? It might help – "

"So, your mother can be further disappointed by me? I think not."

Harry shook his head, "No, I don't believe she will."

"Potter, you fail to comprehend… "Snape cleared his throat, as he continued in his usual meticulous tone, "I'd feel – _ashamed_ \- to face her. I have no doubt within my mind, that she would not approve of me. She may even still hate me for all that I've done."

"No, she wouldn't. She would have never _hated_ you, sir."

"Your persistence in your supposed understanding, is _undoubtedly_ annoying, Potter."

" _Fine_ , "Harry closed the jewel frustratingly into his palm, and placed it back into his pocket, "I just thought it might help give you some…I dunno, closure? Reassurance? Just…let me know if you change your mind. Did Dumbledore ever tell you much about the Horcrux's?"

"I knew nothing of the Horcrux's – Albus only instructed me that the snake must be killed at the last moment. Presumably, he must have anticipated that the Dark Lord would attempt to extract those details from my mind. Approach Professor Dumbledore about it if you so desire."

"The portrait? I'd rather not."

Snape gave a light snort, "You and me both, Potter. I haven't faced the old fool yet."

"He kept a lot from the both of us. I don't _blame_ you for being angry…He asked an impossible task of you."

Snape nodded, "Indeed he did. And yet he mercilessly left us both to deal with the aftermath. Astonishing, isn't it? Speaking of which, "The man slowly rose up from his perch on the bed and clasped his hands neatly behind him staring at the young Gryffindor with an impassive gaze, "Enough reminiscing and frustrations aside for the time being. Downstairs in twenty. _Don't_ forget your Gryffindor entourage, Potter. We infiltrate my residence, tonight. Any objections?"

"Not at all, sir, "Harry shook his head, and made his way to the door.

"Good. Don't be late."

"I won't be. Just make sure you show up this time, sir."

"Watch that _cheek_ , Potter."

With a shadow of a smirk, Harry made his way downstairs to join others and round them up for next mission, feeling unusually confident with himself. At least, he was able to get that antidote to him, much to the man's extreme disapproval. He did enjoy picking the man's brain, of which he was surprised Snape could reveal that much information to him, however. At least there were no more actual secrets this time, or a dark wizard to hide your mind from, or Death Eaters to fool. If anything, it all felt slightly surreal. Never did Harry think that this would have ever been possible. For the both of them. It was amazing how much they could discover about themselves, when Snape wasn't the school bully, or Harry didn't try to fight against him. Harry was older and more mature now, and it seems he understood the notoriously broody Potions Master more and more, and yet it also seems as if Snape has grown to tolerate him after all. _Finally_.

It only took six school years, and Snape finally stopped seeing Harry as James. He often wondered what his father would think about this entire bizarre turn of events. Actually, he thought about that a lot. Would his father have been proud of him now? Or worried, that he has decided to seek camaraderie with the man he bullied relentlessly in school? He wanted those answers so desperately, but even he knew using the Resurrection Stone for such a thing, may not work as he hoped it would. Snape was right – did either of them want to know?

Perhaps some things are best kept a secret, after all.

Harry stood in the entryway corridor of Grimmauld Place with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, waiting for Professor Snape to join them. It was like the Forest incident all over again. Hopefully, this time, it will end up without a fault.

"You sure he's going to show this time?" Ron shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, "If he bails on us again, then that's it, I'm going home."

As Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's remark, Snape chose that moment to glide down the staircase with his black billowing cloak trailing behind him, which always seemed to have a mind of its own. He always did have impeccable timing. The man stopped just beside Ron, with his arms crossed over his chest, peering at the Weasley – no longer down, as Ron was now identical in height - with his eyes narrowed and unnerving, like the feeling of sitting back in Potions class again, "Somewhere else you'd rather be, Mr Weasley? Don't allow me to interrupt your busy schedule."

Ron shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable, "Well actually, sir…"

Snape sighed, as he eyed each of his unlikely team of lions with slight disdain, "Of all students to be _anchored_ to, it's the big-headed, danger-seeking, rule-breaking ensemble of Gryffindors. Lucky me."

"Breaking the rules is kind of our specialty, though, "Harry couldn't help but grin.

"To be fair, this feels like your marching us to detention in the Forbidden Forest, "Ginny smirked, "Nothing we haven't done before. So, where exactly _are_ we going, sir?"

"Ah, how I miss deducting points from Gryffindor. Opportunity wasted, "Snape's expression remained deadpan; his voice resonating, "Now. Our mission is this – A few Death Eaters were spotted amongst my residence in Cokeworth, Spinners End. From my knowledge, Aurors were sent there to eradicate them, but they were outnumbered. We are to Apparate there and disarm them."

"Wait, you live there? We're going to your house?" Ron questioned, clearly not happy with the idea.

Snape turned his head to glare at him, "Problem, Mr. Weasley?"

"Err, no, sir."

"Good. Once we arrive, I would request that you have your wands at the ready. You will _not_ press forward, until you heed my signal. Furthermore, do _not_ cast Lumos. Am I making myself clear?"

Harry nodded, "Perfectly, sir. We know the drill."

"As much as I strongly and _personally_ detest, Side-Along Apparition is our best option, as you're not familiar with the location and where we shall begin. Ready? "Without waiting on verbal confirmation, the Potions professor made his way to the front doors, with the rest of them following closely behind.

It was rather late in the evening now that the moon had well and truly made its appearance. There wasn't much of a Spring breeze, but the clouds thickened overhead as the night progressed. They made their way to the small park across the tiny, private street, and the five of them concealed themselves beyond the thick hedges at the stone wall. Bitterly, Snape extended his left arm, allowing the four Gryffindors to latch on, mere seconds before they were whisked away among Snape's black, smoky Apparition. Reappearing immediately within a gloomy, dark alleyway, the students proceeded to follow suite, and withdrew their wands at the same time as Snape.

Motioning them to remain quiet, Snape carefully edged his way down the narrow, cobblestone laneway, being careful to remain within the shadows obscured by the dull-lit windows above them. Beside the unlikely troop – Gryffindors led by a Slytherin – there was not another soul in sight on the streets. There were faint sounds of families in the adjourning houses, clanging on kitchen pots and pans in a bid to clean up after dinner, but Harry guessed this was mostly a Muggle dwelling.

Spinners End was indeed dull and dreary, and not exactly what Harry was expecting. The area itself seemed to adopt the same rows of identical dark brick houses, much like Little Whinging, but this place seemed to be of much lower class. Harry looked around, observing what he could among the darkness, but as he squinted, he could see the faint outlines of industrial factories in the distance. A few lamps which lined the street, appeared broken, and the one's that were lit, cast a haunting glow over the surrounding residences. Harry crinkled his nose slightly, as the gut-churning scent of sewage wafted from one of the small grates in the street.

Watching Ron's identical look of disgust, the red head fumbled in his pocket to retrieve the jade and silver Deluminator. Snape watched in curiosity, as the boy clicked it once, allowing the dull balls of light to pull from the lamp posts, casting the street further into darkness. Harry heard an impressed _hmm_ from Snape, as they walked further along. A few steps further, Snape extended his wand arm, barring the Gryffindors from walking further.

Snape's voice dropped to a barely audible whisper, " _Wait_ here. Stay alert." Harry and company stayed put as they watched the black-cloaked professor take a few cautious steps forward, with his wand held at the ready. Eventually, the man stopped inches from the end of the alleyway and raised his other hand as if to try and grab something in the air. The students watched in anticipation, as the man seemed to wave his hand at shoulder-height, feeling for any traces of magic in the air. He was feeling for the warded barriers. Harry made a mental note to ask him about that later – The group could definitely do with an advanced lesson on warding.

Finally, Snape began to wave his wand with several precise flicks, whispering a set of incantations that neither of them could distinguish. Once a few moments have passed, the man signaled for them to follow. One by one, the Gryffindors followed the Professor and it was not until the moment they stepped through the magical threshold, did they gasp at what they saw before them.

Standing directly at what Harry presumed was Snape's front door, they watched as the entire residence was crackling with wild flames. It was not a sight that one could see beyond the wards as it was so very well-concealed with magic, but it was enough to induce panic for those that could see. It painfully reminded them of seeing the Burrow destroyed in balls of fires from the previous Death Eater attack. Only difference, is that Harry had never stepped foot here before. From where they stood, they could see flames rise up against an invisible magical barrier that appeared to separate the house from the other residences, but the flames had just begun to scatter.

This house had not been burning for long, but the damage quickly tore through the building like paper set alight.

They watched as Snape threw the hem of his cloak over his nose and mouth, and immediately burst through the still in-tact ebony black door and raced inside the house now building up with smoke. " _Fumus_ _Evanesca_!" Snape began to dissipate the rising thick cloud of smoke, enough so that they could see.

Harry followed the man inside, and turned to the burning furniture in the corner, " _Aguamenti_!" A thin jet stream of water doused the chair, extinguishing the flames he could see. He held his sleeve to his nose, trying not to inhale the fumes. His eyes burned as they watered. He heard a few of his friends coughing beside him, as they struggled much the same. Once Snape disappeared upstairs to deal with the damage there, Harry and his friends swept through the few rooms on the ground floor, trying their best to manoeuvre through the cramp quarters, dousing flames as they went.

"Oh no, the _books_!" Hermione sounded devastated, as she stood in the small sitting room, glancing upon all of the charred books sitting in piles on the floor, and remnants of them on the bookcase. The sitting room was free of flames, but the damage remained irreparable.

But just as Snape descended upon the stairs to join them, they were accompanied by four several silver-masked figures Apparating within the residence, wands drawn out. Immediately, all wands were pointed directly at the opposition, as the tension suddenly ran high.

Death Eaters. They were waiting.

One of the Death Eaters, who they recognized as Macnair, stepped forward, "Well well well, Severus. Consorting with blood traitors and enemies – Gryffindors, no less. Can't say I'm surprised. You _disgust_ me."

Snape gradually walked forward to position himself in front of the students, his wand pointed directly at Macnair, "Give up, Walden. Your master is gone. _Dusted_. It's over."

They heard a chuckle from the masked man beside Macnair, "It's not over until _we_ are. Did the Dark Lord teach you nothing?"

"I cannot learn from someone who has lost their way. We were pawns. _Expendable_."

"You're no Saint, Severus. You're a murderer like the rest of us. We all bare the same glorious Mark. "

With narrowed eyes, Snape sneered, "Antonin. How was the Cruciatus Curse? I heard the Dark Lord was highly displeased by your incompetence the night the Minister fell." Snape gave a small smirk at the end.

Dolohov growled from under the mask, pointing a menacing finger at Hermione, "It was that Mudblood's fault!"

" _HEY_!" Ron stepped angrily forward, but Harry pulled him back.

"Defeated and mind altered by a teenager. Word gets around. My, I could only _imagine_ what the Dark Lord said to you, "Snape looked amused.

"You're nothing but a miserable traitor!" One of the other Death Eaters spoke but were unidentifiable. "I'm glad he rightfully slit your throat! I wish I were there to see you bleed!"

Dolohov was rattling in anger, "You're bloody _done_ for, Severus! We are going to destroy _everything_ you pathetically worked for! We are going to make you regret turning from us." With a forceful flick of his wand, the floor at Snape's feet exploded, sending charred and splintered wood to hit the ceiling. Ron pulled Hermione back and threw themselves to the floor behind the burnt couch, firing curses back at the Death Eaters in return. Snape recoiled backwards from the attack, barely steady on his feet, as Harry and Ginny pressed forward battling the others in an attempt to drive them away. Once Snape regained composure, he fought off Dolohov with finesse and the wild array of the mastery of spells at his disposal.

" _Serpensortia_!" Dolohov chuckled once he spoke, as a carpet python materialized from the tip of his wand and landed with a _thud_ on the damaged floor by Harry and Snape. With that distraction, Harry fired a _Reducto_ spell at the man, sending him flying out through the front door. He averted his gaze to the Potions Professor, and watched as the man's face turned deathly white, noticing a slight quiver of his wand hand. His eyes grew wide in shock in the brief hesitation, and Harry threw himself between him and the snake, quickly realising he no longer speaks Parseltongue.

" _Vipera_ _evanesca_!" Hermione shouted as she stood up, causing the snake to vanish. Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

However, Dolohov, Macnair and another masked Death Eater dashed out of the front door and Disapparated quickly away, as Severus Snape released the breath he held, and fixed his sleeve in agitation. Snape turned sharply to Harry, his face absolutely furious, "Do _NOT_ do that again, Potter!"

Frowning, Harry lowered his wand arm, "You're _welcome_."

"Hey, we got one!" Ron called out from the entryway besides Ginny, both with their wands pointed at the remaining unconscious Death Eater sprawled out on the floor, "Another one down."

Hermione casted a non-verbal spell, as tendrils of vines were conjured and slowly wrapped around the Death Eater victim, preventing him from moving upon his waking. She turned to the others, "We'll summon the Aurors to collect him. Ron and I will stay here. "

Nodding curtly, Snaped turned to Harry once more, "Potter. With me. _Now_."

Worried, Harry followed Snape out of the heavily damaged house, with Ginny trailing closely behind him. Once they were outside of the wards beyond the alleyway, Snape immediately grabbed the front of Harry's shirt with a shaky but firm grip, staring at Harry with madness in his eyes. Harry grabbed Ginny's hand, as the three of them Disapparated and reappeared back at the park across from Grimmauld Place. Without a word, they went inside, slamming the door behind them and setting off the portrait of Mrs Black again. Sensing an impending heated conversation, Ginny cautiously stepped back into the kitchen to see Kreacher.

"Follow me - " Seething, Snape motioned for the boy to follow him upstairs to the first-floor sitting room, closing the door behind him, allowing them both some measure of privacy.

"What – in Merlin's name – Were you _thinking_?!" Harry had never seen Snape this mad since the flying car incident in his second year, "I cannot have you _senselessly_ throwing yourself in harm's way."

"You hesitated! What else was I going to do?"

Snape stood a few steps away from Harry, peering madly at the boy, "You stand _back_ , that's what you do. You no longer have the gift of Parseltongue at your disposal. _Incredibly_ reckless."

"Well, I forgot about that, alright? Besides, Hermione had it handled."

"And what if she didn't?"

"It's _Hermione_ , Professor, "Throwing his hands up in defeat, he responded, "You freaked out. You _hesitated_..."

Snape thinned his lips, " _Typical_ Gryffindor, you are. You could have been hurt. Or _killed_ upon your distraction."

Once a few seconds clicked by, Harry watched as the Professor sat against on the armrest of the couch, with his hands clasped neatly over his lap – he looked exhausted. He watched as Snape gingerly shifted his position and yet remained unmoving. The man appeared conflicted; his eyes wandering in deep thought, as if he were wrestling with his own moral dilemma. The corner of his lip twitched, unsure what he seemed to be holding back. Harry could see the man linger his gaze to scan the boy softly.

Eventually, he lowered his head, keeping a neutral demeanor and lingered on his words methodically, before he sighed, "Potter – you need to _listen_ to me very carefully. We must remain…professional. You are not to risk yourself for me again, understood? I remain here purely on Order business, and to ensure your safety. _That_ is my priority," Snape paused, as he winced at the very words that could potentially crush Harry, "You seem to be seeking solace in the wrong person, and I cannot be the person you need. That must remain clear."

Harry frowned, not quite understanding what he was trying to say.

Awaiting no answer to that, Snape continued, "I am fully aware of what you are trying to do. We've made our truce, have we not?"

"We have, but – "

"And we are working together, are we not?"

"We are _now_ , yeah – "

"Then for now, that is…enough. "

Harry shook his head in confusion, "Surely you know that's not true. Stop pretending that you don't care. You obviously do, or you _wouldn't_ be here."

Snape recoiled slightly at the statement, "It's not a term I can throw around on a whim, Potter. Those I _did_ care for, died."

"But I get that, Professor, I do. I lost any measure of family that I cared for, and a lot of them died. I know what that feels like. But doesn't mean I _stop_ caring. You shouldn't either."

He watched as Snape fixated his gaze upon Harry's green eyes, as his voice barely dropped to a whisper, "You are so much like your mother, more than you realise. She would have assured me much the same. But even she had to draw the line somewhere."

"Then if you won't listen to me, then maybe listen to _her_. What would she think of you like this?" Harry drew in a deep breath.

Snape clenched his jaw, "Don't you _dare_ use blackmail against me, Potter. Your precious Headmaster did the same."

"Is it so wrong that I…" Harry paused in thought, not quite knowing how to voice his concerns, "…Care - What happens to you? I didn't know how to say it before, but…yeah, I actually do give a damn."

"Yes, it's _wrong_! Because…" Snape averted his gaze away and withdrew like a wounded animal, as his shoulder's slumped in heavy defeat. "I _cannot_ accept your forgiveness. Or your…kindness. I'm incapable of any measure of those things you hold so dear. Do not have pity on me, Potter! I will leave this world soon, and you do not need another blasted thing to worry about."

Harry's heart was burning in his chest, as if everything were on fire. His eyes prickling with the tears that threatened to fall, but he tried with every ounce of agony to prevent the floodgates from breaking. Confusion tore through him; he didn't know what to feel because his entire mind was one big blurry mess. After everything they've both endured, Snape was still afraid to get close to him. In all but a few moments, Harry's hopes were crushed. During the last few weeks, he has gotten to know more about the man, than in the entire six years he has known him. He now felt comfortable in the man's presence, and more they were able to convene, the more Harry realized that Luna and Hermione were right – They still had a lot in common.

But Snape seemed comfortable around him too, or at least more tolerable. With this in mind, Harry felt like maybe, it was possible, that they could re-connect in a different way. Similar to the kind of relationship Harry had with Remus and Sirius – But now that just seemed like wishful thinking. He believed that with all his might, that the possibility of such a relationship was there.

Within seconds, Snape crushed whatever hope Harry had for that to happen.

Harry looked directly at Snape, devastation, and hurt strongly evident on his face. He felt his chest rise and fall with every agonizing breath. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream.

Was it wrong to want something so simple? Who was he kidding – It was Severus _bloody_ Snape. Of course, the man would try and be resistive to such displays of emotion. But the man seemed to forget that he, too, was also human.

After a deafening silence fell between them, Harry lowered his voice and spoke as softly as he could, "Showing you care isn't weakness, Snape. If anything, it makes you stronger. No one deserves to die alone, not even _you_ , "With that, Harry turned to leave, slamming the door heavily behind him.

Harry raced up several flights of stairs, and entered his room on the fourth floor, slamming the door behind him. The moment the door closed, he allowed the tears to fall, clouding his vision as his body shook. Eventually wandering to his bed, he sat down and immediately buried his head in his hands, struggling to focus as every breath felt agonizing against his racing heart. How could he be so stupid to have wished for something more than a simple truce? Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Snape – another person he could not save, and another one to watch die before his eyes.

…All over again.

Harry's heart couldn't take much more of this. Just when things couldn't get any worse, it did.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE: I was going to add something here initially, but decided on writing a Severus chapter next, instead, since I figured this would be a perfect position in the story for one.**


	18. The Dark of Night

**NOTE** : Just a teeny tiny insert from The Princes Tale at the end of this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

_"I thought that if I owned nothing, had nothing, was nothing, I would have nothing left to lose, and I wouldn't be scared anymore. Because my whole life I've been so damn scared. Scared to live because I was scared to die. But at the same I was so scared of living, so I wanted to die. Or maybe so scared of dying that I refused to live. You don't have to be afraid to fall, when you're already on the ground. You don't have to be scared to lose someone, when there's no one around to lose."_

**\- Charlotte Eriksson** / Empty Roads & Broken Bottles

* * *

CHAPTER 18: The Dark of Night

_Bloody hell._

Severus Snape watched at the boy stormed out from the sitting room, wincing as the door slammed behind him. He sat there for seemed like eternity, staring at the door as if the boy would walk back in and add something more to the blow. Instead, he sat in silence, unmoving, and listening to the dull beating of his own heart, attempting to come to grips with his own words.

He had been dreading this moment for a while now – A moment he never thought he would ever worry about in his lifetime. And yet, he needed to let the young Gryffindor know. He needed to know that he was not the man he should be confiding in. What could Severus possibly provide him? Severus did not have the capacity to show the kindness that he desperately sought for. He could not show any measure of love, no matter how hard he tried. He could barely show any inkling of compassion that could help ease the boy's troubles. Well, technically he could. But he was very much afraid to. He had no empathy he was willing to show. Unlike Potter, he did not wear his heart on his sleeve. Instead, he kept it buried so deep within his core that no one could see.

Severus wished, deep down, that he _was_ that kind of person. He wished he could be.

He could protect the boy, yes. But the man's limitations did not exceed that to any kind of affection, or care. What good could Severus do? Or be? He was a failure, and he very well knew it. He was too bitter to succumb to such vulnerable emotions. He spent so many years hiding them away, for them now to feel like they deserved to remain locked in the cage within whatever soul he had left.

And yet this wounded him more than he anticipated. Potter was asking the impossible of him.

What was Potter actually expecting? For Severus to hug the boy, console him, and tell him everything will be okay? The pure thought of that left a bitter aftertaste – He wasn't Remus or Sirius. Hell, he wasn't Arthur Weasley – _Merlin forbid_ – but, Severus could not help but be angry that those two dunderheads who got themselves killed leaving him with the emotional clean-up of this lost teenage boy. He truly didn't know how to approach a boy so emotionally scarred and traumatized. This was not what he _ever_ anticipated that he'd be tasked to do.

However, Potter was right – Severus _did_ care, deep down. _Way_ deep down. Even if he didn't know how to truly show it. Or admit it. He _couldn't_ admit it. He was far too afraid to do such a thing. Severus Snape – the bitter Potions Master sulking in the dungeons in self-pity over a life he never wanted, who had the impossible task of protecting the boy of the man who bullied and tormented him for years.

_But he is also Lily's son._

Admitting that he too, cared, would be more of an emotional blow for Severus than it would be for the boy. Severus spent so many years maintaining a dark facade, hating on the boy for years, when suddenly, he came to realise, that he did eventually feel bad for the kid as cursed with life than he had. The ill-fated final Occlumency lesson seemed to the turning point, so it seems. It wasn't just a matter of the brat peering into his most sensitive memories, but after that incident, he noticed the boy seemed to change in his presence. He seemed to be more receptive to the man, even though both still had an inherent sense of conflict with each other. Within the man's fury that day, he refused to see the boy as anything more than his arrogant father. It tore Severus apart. But once he realised that the boy did not use those sensitive memories against him as his paternal counterpart may have done, he soon realised that he was less like his father than he led himself to believe.

Severus couldn't help but think back to the night Minerva drove him from the castle. The night when Severus was alerted to the boy, and as headmaster, had the dreaded task of rounding up the students in the Great Hall. Another memory he wished he could forget. He could still see the disappointment in Potter's eyes – _Lily's_ eyes – when he verbally struck him down to his hollow core. Another public shaming, as if he didn't already hate himself enough for what he had become. When he accused him of murdering his closest friend. However, he knew, at that point, the boy did not know the painful truth.

Yet it still wounded him deeply. To feel so truly isolated and alone at that very moment.

And Albus. Albus had another thing coming. It wasn't just a promise to himself that he protect the boy, but it was a promise to Albus, that his allegiance to the Dark Lord was finished. Since that day Severus swore to him, the old fool manipulated and emotionally blackmailed him up until the day he died. But this was what Albus wanted, wasn't it? Time and time again, it seemed he wanted to desperately to throw he and the boy together. Was that the other purpose of the Occlumency lessons that only Severus could teach him? Not only to attempt to teach the boy how to shield his mind, but for Severus to sift through the boy's memories in a bid to understand him better? To see him less like his father?

But never did Albus ask Severus as to what _he_ wanted. His entire life was paved to protect the Chosen One. To place the boy under his charred wing, and protect him until his eventual sacrifice. But it seemed as if Albus was never concerned about Severus' well-being. Perhaps he knew that his soul was already too damaged beyond repair.

_How dare he. How bloody dare he put me in this position!_

Blinking himself back to reality, he drew in a shuddering deep breath, and ran a pale hand over his face. Sitting in his own company was agonizing. His own _thoughts_ were agonizing. Clearing his mind of his wayward emotions seemed to drain him more that shielding his memories from the Dark Lord. Perhaps because Severus always found it easy to keep his vulnerable emotions shut away. Releasing them from its floodgates, proved even more difficult to seal them away again once they ran rampant.

Severus' time was limited – Did he really want to spend those last moments pushing away the _only_ person currently alive who no longer loathed his very presence? No, he really didn't. It was cruel, but Severus had to stop the boy. He could not give him false hope. He could not give the boy what he did not have. And yet still, the man cared deep down within whatever part of his soul remained unfractured. It hurt deeply, but it for the boy's greater good. It was a feeling the man could not seal away so easily, but it had to be done.

_Potter will get over it. For his own good._

Severus was scared to get too close to him. He was very much afraid of any kind of attachment, because in the end, someone would get hurt. It happened with Lily, and it sure as hell will happen to Potter if Severus didn't draw the line somewhere. It was crucial for Harry's well-being, considering all the losses the young boy sustained already in his life. Severus should not _be_ one of those people.

_Why do I suddenly care so much for the welfare of the Gryffindor? Why now?_

Perhaps the broken really do gravitate towards the broken because it takes a damaged soul to understand another. Is this what Albus was trying to tell him for years?

Harry Potter was depressed – That much was certain. The mental toll on the boy given all his suffering has finally settled in, now that the Dark Lord is gone. Within the last few weeks, he has observed the boy carefully, and noticed the decline in his usual behavior. Those of which, manifested into physical outlets. The boy was anxious; frightened, even. His anxiety attacks seemed to also be a factor at this point, and he often wondered if he ever took Severus' elixir much at all. The trauma from the battle was proving too great for him to handle. His outbursts were a result of that, and now the boy had made it a habit of picking his scars. He was a ticking time bomb. His appetite was poor – Severus noticed the boy starting to look malnourished and thinner by the day, and yet he was so adamant that he still delivers food to the dying, miserable Potions Master instead.

The boy was clearly not sleeping; the dark circles under his eyes were evident of that, coupled with obscured judgement. His friends were deeply concerned for him – He could tell. Even they knew he was not himself. During the train wreck of the Order meeting, he could see Potter struggling uncomfortably.

_And I keep making things worse for him._

The Potions Master finally stood up, as gently as he could despite the slight uneasiness on his feet as familiar dizziness overcome him. Once the mild wave of nausea gradually subsided, he slowly made his way out of the empty living room, with the intention to reach downstairs. He stopped at the doorway, steadying himself against the doorframe, calculating his next move with a heavy sigh, until he finally made the decision to wander back downstairs, clasping the railings of the staircase as he descended. A part of him wanted to go upstairs and check up on the boy, but he knew given the sensitive situation, that it was a terrible idea. He needed to give the boy some time to defuse.

As he reached the last set of stairs, he watched as the female Weasley ascended at the same time but stopped just before she passed him.

Ginny looked concerned, "Harry alright?"

 _No, he isn't._ Severus clenched his jaw as he paused, eventually sighing, "Go to him, Miss Weasley. I believe he will appreciate your company."

The red-head nodded, "Of course. "She continued to make her way up the staircase until she stopped again once she reached the top, and turned around to face the Potions Master once again, "Professor Snape?"

Severus turned on his heel to look up at the redhead, "Yes?"

"I'm sorry about your house. We can try and repair it…if you'd like?"

There was a slight pause as the man pondered that question, but instead Severus shook his head lightly, "No, that will not be necessary. Not worth the effort. That book is now closed."

He watched as the youngest Weasley nodded, and continued to the fourth floor to see Potter, disappearing out of sight. As much as he hated to admit it, but she was the only Weasley that Severus could actually tolerate, especially in the classroom. She was a little too outspoken for his liking, much like Potter, but smart enough to know when to keep her mouth shut. He did find her amusing at times, however, because some elements of her personality reminded him so vividly of Lily at the same age.

Perhaps it was cruel fate once again.

Severus continued forth down the corridor in time for the other Weasley and Granger to arrive through the front door. He grumbled quietly to himself in frustration, in the hopes to avoid anyone else for the time being.

_I can't seem to get away from these bloody students._

"Finally, I'm _starving_!" Weasley spoke, as he walked through the front door. "Those bloody Aurors took long enough. I should have done it myself."

"You are far too impatient, Ron. We honestly didn't wait _that_ long, "Hermione brushed a wayward hair from her face, "Your stomach was enough to wake the neighbors."

"Oi, I can't help it, "Weasley rolled his eyes, much to Severus's mild amusement as he walked straight past him and made a beeline to the kitchen. Not only was he using Grimmauld Place as a safehouse, but he now seemed to be stuck under the same roof with a bunch of teenage Gryffindors – Those of which consisted of two couples. Witnessing the bickering among them was the last thing Severus needed to tolerate.

 _Sickening_. Could things get any worse?

Severus – _finally_ reaching the front door himself – swayed slightly and extended his hand to wall to steady himself. Another wave of dizziness hit, sending his head spinning and his stomach lurching. Pausing for a moment, he closed his eyes, trying to regain composure once again. Eventually sensing careful footsteps behind him – thanks to the horribly creaky floorboards - he warily tilted his head in that direction as he opened his eyes.

Granger had turned around, upon hearing him, and watched the man with concern on her face, "Sir? …Are - are you alright?"

Severus bitterly swallowed the burning acid reflux building up within his throat, " _Fine_ , Miss Granger."

"Shall I summon Madam Pomfrey? I really think we should find someone -"

He drew in a deep breath, and turned his weakened form around to face Granger, clearly not in the mood to argue with another Gryffindor, "- _No_. "

Severus watched as Granger looked defeated, but instead pulled up the beaded handbag she carried earlier and reached down – to what he noticed as using an Undetectable Extension Charm – and pulled out two identically small potion vials filled with amber-yellow liquid.

She extended them towards the professor, "I'm no healer, but I figured you need this more than we do."

Severus gently retrieved the vials, and twirled one in his hand, observing the liquid contained within. He removed the cork, and lightly inhaled its scent, "Anti-Nausea elixir." He raised his eyebrow at the student.

"I had them brewed before we went on the run…Just to counter the effects of the constant Apparition, "Hermione explained, "We didn't need to use them, luckily."

Grateful, Severus gave the young woman a curt nod while still keeping his facade as neutral as possible, "Thank you, Miss Granger."

Granger tilted her head to the side, "Perhaps I can brew some extra potions for you? Just, to…Help in some way. If that's alright, Professor? It's the least I could do. I think better when I'm kept busy. "

"I respect that, "Severus nodded, "I must leave the premises for a short while, Miss Granger. Hold the fort. You seem the only one with any measure of common sense in this household. And try to keep Potter from doing anything irrational."

Granger grinned, "If I must say, sir – I've been trying to do that for the past seven years."

Severus snorted lightly in response, "A near impossible task."

He turned to leave through the front doors, and Disapparated away once it was safe enough to do so. In a desperate bid to clear his mind, he reappeared in the familiar clearing in the Forbidden Forest, close to where the Thestrals resided. This was not the dense part of the forest thus the trees here were more scattered, and less ancient. Within this clearing, he was able to peer through the darkness, and see the silhouette of the great Hogwarts castle high atop on the hill in the horizon of the night sky. He enjoyed being here, in this particular spot. He was enough of a distance away from the castle to admire its magnificence, but it was perfect as students rarely visited here. Except Luna Lovegood, of course.

Severus found a perch among the rocks at the base of an old oak tree, and sat down, allowing his billowing cloak to cascade around him. His gaze transfixed on Hogwarts, wondering if he was ever returning in some capacity. However, he already knew deep down that he'd likely never teach again – He was both saddened and relieved by that. But given his deteriorating condition, he knew that Hogwarts would no longer be his home, as his life was ticking closer to the end.

He already lost a home today. His childhood home, which in all honesty, never felt much like home to begin with. In actual fact, he was glad to have seen it up in flames. Too many bad memories were held there, and it was a chapter in his life he wanted to keep closed forever. Both he and his mother suffered physical and verbal abuse throughout his adolescence, and too many school days were spent trying to mask his bruising from Lily, in an attempt to hide from her curious questioning. During Severus' sixth year, his mother eventually took her own life, and his swine of a Muggle father left, leaving Severus to stay at his deranged grandmother's house until he was finally of age. His mother, despite being a saddened and bitter woman, tried her best to keep Severus safe. But it was never enough. His entire family was fractured severely. The thought of his filthy Muggle father convening and possibly sleeping around with other females out there, made him feel utterly repulsed and nauseated. A part of him felt disgusted to take the surname of Snape.

Severus leaned back to rest his head against the tree, basking in the silence of the night he had to himself. He closed his tired eyes, hearing only the faint whistling of the wind against the trees, and light hoofed steps from the Thestrals behind him. One of the adult Thestrals slowly made his way to Severus, and nudged the side of his head gently, causing the professor to open his eyes once again. Smiling faintly, he reached a mildly trembling hand to pet the creature's head.

"I've been neglecting my visits, lately, haven't I?" Severus continued to scratch the creature's head, as the Thestral whinnied in delight from the attention. He absolutely loved being in their company. And there wasn't much that Severus reveled in, that was not including Potions or the Dark Arts. Despite the dungeons being his usual lair, it was still bustling with students, if not during his classes, but his visiting Slytherin's usually complaining about something. But here, at least, Severus can escape all of that chaos. He always found he could connect well with a Thestral and their nature. Heavily misunderstood creatures. Though he wished he could remain invisible, and not to be seen. He just wanted to remain within the shadows, like he has always done.

Being here gave him a glorious sense of peace. This night was uniquely different. No assignments to mark. No detentions to suffer through.

And no Dark Lord to answer to. At least, his mind can rest his wary mind. He no longer had to endure the Cruciatus Curse because of a simple misunderstanding or incompetent colleague under his delegation.

It would have been a glorious thing to ambitiously ponder on, if it were not for his impending death.

Severus sighed heavily, allowing his exhale to linger, as he continued to look upon the beauty of Hogwarts on the horizon. The more he gazed upon the castle, the more he missed it. Maybe he should just remain here, and not return to Grimmauld Place. Perhaps he could just succumb to his condition, and let nature take the rest of its course in silence. With no one around, but the Thestrals. This location would serve as the perfect resting place for him, and it would have been better for everyone else that way. No one needed to see him like this, least of all Minerva and her insufferably reckless pride of lions.

When Severus' eyes suddenly burned with a tear threatening to fall, he allowed himself to choke back a single sob, as his chest ached with incredible sorrow. Those tears eventually fell, and he could not hold them back this time. No one was around to see – he could allow his dark armor to crumble just this once. He watched through cloudy eyes, as the Thestral sat down beside him, resting its bony head over Severus' lap. He reached out to rest his hand on its beaked snout.

"What do I do? I _don't_ know what to do. Lily, I'm so sorry. I've made a mess of things again." Severus' voice had dropped to a whisper, quivering at the mention of her name.

He was a failure. He knew it. What he'd give for somebody else to take up the mantle, so his soul could rest. Why must everything be so complicated? Why must emotions be so painfully complicated? Potter had tried to reach out to him, and he shot him down like the _arsehole_ he knew he was. He shot him down, because he knew, he could not stand to get any closer to him. He hurt the boy with his forked tongue, because he knew he was better off without him. It was his way of driving a wedge in order to protect the boy from further pain of loss.

Tough love, so it seems.

_Love? Don't be daft, Severus._

Care, yes. Love…impossible. Severus wasn't capable of love. Such acts of vulnerability were beyond him. Lily rejected him because of his forked tongue speaking such filth and hurtful things, and yet he could not repel the boy. Potter was trying to reach out, and he did not let him. He hesitated at the act of kindness towards him, and he threw it into the boy's face. The silly Gryffindor even threw himself in front of the snake, because he knew…He witnessed the Professor tense up at the appearance of the serpent. Severus had frozen up in absolute fear. _Wretched_ fear. Of all creatures for Severus to suddenly develop a fear of, was a snake. How ironic for the Head of Slytherin. Nagini had instilled a new fear within him, and he hated himself even moreso for it.

And yet Severus was more afraid about the boy risking his safety. Angry at him, _yes_ , but afraid.

"The boy isn't even mine." Severus spoke between heaving breaths in his upset state. Saying those words out loud cut through Severus' heart like a searing hot knife. Speaking those words made it all the more real. He could not help but think of what could have been.

Seven long years, and he finally grew to care for the boy after all.

"Lily must know I'm a complete _fool_. I spent years tormenting the boy and undermining his ability, and now… "Severus winced, but as he glanced at the creature besides him, he rolled his eyes, "Here I am talking to a _bloody_ horse. I must truly be going mad."

Feeling a shiver from the crisp cold air, Severus shifted to stand up, and made the decision to finally depart from his little slice of sanctuary. Disapparating away in a flume of black smoke, he reappeared just before the familiar wards of Malfoy Manor, and began to make his way to the front door. Once he activated the serpentine barrier on the door, he entered the house, to find Draco sitting alone at the sitting room by the crackling fire in the next room, with a glass of what appeared to be firewhiskey. He was sporting a crinkled, white-coloured shirt, void of any tie, and simple black trousers, slumped back on the armchair. The boy had been staring into the fireplace, up until Severus walked in.

Draco looked up from his glass and frowned, "Where have you been?"

Making his way to the single armchair opposite to the boy, Severus sat down, "Elsewhere." He eyed the boy's alcoholic beverage with slight concern, "That kind of night, I take it?"

He watched as Draco grumbled, with a look of distaste, "Every night is same, isn't it?"

Severus didn't respond to that question, instead he sighed, "Any further news?"

"Absolutely nothing. I don't even like venturing out there anymore. I almost got hexed this morning by a bloody older wizard when he recognized me as a Malfoy."

Severus leaned back, steepling his fingers together, "Regrettably, I must insist you stay put for the time being. A bounty is on your head, just as well as mine."

Draco raised his eyebrow, as he withdrew his head back suspiciously, "What did I miss?"

"My home was destroyed earlier today. Death Eaters were awaiting my arrival. But, take no chances, Draco. They are determined to bring us both down with every last dying breath."

Draco took a sip of his firewhisky, "So, what do we do, now?"

" _Y_ _ou_ are to stay here, with your mother. I have been discussing options of advancement with Professor McGonagall. However, I have made no mention of you. For the best, at this present time."

" _Where_ do you keep disappearing to? Who else are you meeting with?"

"Do not question me, Draco. I am devising our next move _carefully_. If I can get you under good graces, you will - at the very least - have some adequate protection against the Death Eaters."

"I don't want their _good_ graces. They all hate me and my family, "Draco recoiled, looking repulsed. He narrowed his eyes at the man, scrutinizing his sullen appearance, "If no one else has told you already, you look bloody horrendous."

 _Will everyone stop bloody pointing that out_. Severus pursed his lips with distaste, "So I've been informed."

Severus watched with calculating eyes as Draco downed the remaining firewhisky and proceeded to give it a refill from the half-empty bottle beside him. Concerned, the man gripped the armrests on the side of his chair, observing him carefully, "…How much have you had to drink?"

Draco shrugged, "No idea."

Clenching his jaw, he retrieved his wand from his sleeve holster, and gave it a twirl in the air, vanishing the glass completely, "That's _enough_ , Draco. "

Draco was halfway through lifting the glass to his lips as it vanished, "HEY! I wasn't _bloody_ finished!"

"You are now. I cannot have you absolutely intoxicated when you have a bounty on your head!"

The boy reached for the bottle, but Severus was quicker. Giving another small flourish of his wand, he levitated the bottle towards him and placed it beside himself on the table, away from the boy's desperate reach. Draco was livid. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly not in the mood to deal with another teenage problem.

Draco flushed with anger, "How _dare_ you! You can't do that! You are _not_ my father!"

"Calm yourself, boy – I am your _Godfather_. I'm the closest you have at the present time. Heed my advice when I tell you, that it is not the way. It will only do more harm than good."

He watched as Draco slammed his armrest with a bawled fist, seething in anger. Severus gave him time to calm himself, and Draco shot Severus the filthiest glare he could muster, running his hand through his unusually unkempt platinum blonde hair, "You _don't_ understand!"

"I assure you - I understand more than you realise, "Severus spoke as calmly as he could, "Make better choices, Draco. That's all I ask of you."

"How can I? Everything has changed now. "

"Yes, it has. However, if you cannot do it for yourself, then be strong for your mother. You are all she has left. "

"Is that why you took the Unbreakable Vow? You felt _sorry_ for her?"

Severus frowned, "We both had shared concern for you. Your mother approached me in desperation to save your _life_. Within my limitations and circumstances, I could not refuse."

Draco paused in thought, before he continued, "Would you have still killed Dumbledore, if you hadn't taken the Vow?"

Severus hesitated upon mention of Albus – Unsure of how to proceed with such a sensitive topic. His worry caused his forehead to crease, as he gazed lightly upon his Godson, "Yes." Severus glanced over the fireplace and watched as the flames crackled against the burning wood.

He heard Draco sigh, "What _really_ happened?"

The Potions Master glanced back at the boy, with careful consideration, "The Headmaster was dying. He asked me to end his life, which had been predetermined. In doing so, would spare yours, Draco. Upon taking the Vow, it essentially…Sealed the deal. Much to my dismay, initially."

" _Great_ , "Draco looked at Severus sourly, "And it's _my_ fault he's dead. It's _my_ fault you had to kill him."

"NO, "Severus spoke firmly, leaning forward in his chair, "It was the Dark Lord's wishes. He is to blame, not you. He only wished to punish you in the name of your father's failure in retrieving the Prophecy. You were a pawn, and the Dark Lord _intended_ for you to fail. There was never any glory to be had under his name."

"I can't believe this, "Draco shook his head, shocked at this new perspective. He spent so long blaming himself, that he didn't consider the true reasoning behind it, "My father…My father _deserves_ to remain in Azkaban. He can rot there for all I care. He got us into this mess. Mother and I are paying for it now."

Severus sighed again lightly, feeling sorrow for the stricken boy before him, "I know. Your father, _regrettably_ , did not have your best interests at heart. If anything, I hope he realises that now." He leaned back into his chair and observed the worry on the boy's face. Draco was suffering in silence - Another boy in deep pain. Severus was afraid for both Draco and Harry at this point, and if he were to admit, he was worried about the repercussions of that. He does not wish to impose either to travel down the same dark path as he did, just by making all the wrong choices. The least he could do, was influence both to make the right ones.

The boy looked up at Severus, almost sadly, "…The Dark Mark is never going to vanish, isn't it?"

With tired eyes, Severus looked back at Draco, shaking his head ever so slowly, "Unfortunately not. "

Severus watched as Draco instinctively clasp his left forearm where the Dark Mark was etched into his skin. He almost had the burning urge to do the same, in habit. Severus felt guilty, even though he knew that it was not his fault.

After a short pause, Draco continued, "Are you staying tonight?"

Severus nodded, "For a short while, yes. I need to complete your Potions stockpile, for emergencies. Excuse me, Draco. "He slowly rose from his chair, "And please. _Stay_ away from the firewhisky." He frowned at Draco before continuing, "Do _not_ let me catch you again."

Making his exit, he began to make his way to the Potions lab and storage room close to the sunroom at the back at the Manor. He hadn't intended to stay at the Manor for the night, but given his little altercation with Potter, he felt it best to stay away for the time being until he deemed it appropriate to return. However, he had to be careful, because Potter was still essentially under his protection as it was his obligation still, and Potter tended to get himself into danger without thinking. Even Miss Granger could not keep the boy from making irrational decisions, so that task seem to fall back on Severus' hands, much to his frustration. He could not be in two places at once.

Feeling his stomach heaving – It was either lack of nutrition, or the curse slowly running rampart within his body – he leaned on the counter within the small makeshift Potions lab and steadied himself enough to breath through the discomfort. Reaching slowly into the pocket of his robes, he pulled out one of Grangers' Anti-Nausea elixirs, and downed the amber liquid, grimacing with the bitter licorice aftertaste. After a few passing minutes, he felt the solution warming within his abdomen, giving him temporary relief enough to stop the urge from dry retching.

Severus had enough problems to deal with at this current moment. He couldn't even muster up the courage to tell Draco or his mother of his fatal condition.

He was not emotionally equipped to deal with teenagers – That much was certain. Perhaps he really didn't have the patience. But it seemed that someone had to keep a close on them – Potter _and_ Draco – because if he didn't, then who else would? And now his Godson feels that turning towards an alcoholic beverage to de-stress, was a wise enough decision. Now Severus could barely trust to keep him out of sight for too long. Potter was already struggling with post-traumatic stress, and now Draco is walking a very fine line to becoming alcohol-dependent to ease his nerves.

Whatever was Severus to do? He was dealing with his own problems. And now he was entrusted to watch over two teenage boys who are both suffering with pain, grief, and guilt so immensely. It hurt Severus to see them both like this. Both dealing with loss, past mistakes, and uncertainty for the future. This was not the path he hoped they'd take. He wanted better for them. He _wished_ for them both to lead better lives.

Both Draco and Harry deserved that much.

Helping them – _truly_ helping them - involved sacrificing a part of Severus that he wanted to keep hidden away. In wanting the best for them, he would need to remove a layer of his already-fractured armor once again. And Severus wasn't sure if he was ready for that step. Perhaps he really was a coward. A selfish, bitter, miserable coward who had destroyed more lives than he could count.

Albus put far too much faith in him. Albus, Remus and _bloody_ Sirius should be here instead, _not_ him.

Severus clenched his fists.

_"Very well. Very well. But never- never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear...especially Potter's son...I want your word!"_

_"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face. "If you insist..."_

Severus closed his eyes, doing his best to keep himself as composed as he could.

Did he really want to die alone?


	19. Reaching Out

* * *

**NOTES** : I have a few hectic chapters planned and upcoming, so I'm trying to break them up with slightly mellow chapters like these. Hope this one is okay! One of my goals is to make sure the other characters get enough 'screentime'. If you guys feel i'm being too OOC for some of these characters, _please_ let me know.

* * *

CHAPTER 19: Reaching Out

The past few days were measurably slower than it has been during the previous couple of weeks. It was drawing close to three weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts ended, and yet Harry Potter still felt highly on edge, not knowing when the next attack would take place. There had been several more victims who were kidnapped in their homes within the last few days – One of which turned up dead and placed in Hogsmead intended as a threat, according to Arthur Weasley.

Minister Shacklebolt had sent Aurors to investigate and scout the village, but no new information had come to light. They were still nowhere near discovering when this next attack would take place, or even any further evidence of the new poison they were aiming to set on releasing to unsuspecting innocent people. Hogsmead was still rather derelict, and many of the shopfronts refused to re-open for fear of being targeted. The village has never been more painstakingly quiet before. The locals remain in their homes, magically fortifying as best they could until the Ministry could deem it safe.

It was getting increasingly difficult to follow their trail, as they did their best to cover their tracks. Even despite their numbers, they could not find them quickly enough. Harry and the DA did their best to seek out further information, but with not much luck. Since the Order meeting, Dean had returned with the Patil twins seeking to assist, much to Harry's appreciation and surprise. According to Dean, Seamus and Katie were still furious about Snape being a part of the Order, and once again, with them. Katie was still frightened to see him, even though she was well aware that he had saved her life from the cursed necklace the year prior. Despite that, she could not fully get over the death of Dumbledore by his hand, and that alone, was enough to turn her away. Seamus did want to help Harry, but not at the expense of the ex-Death Eater within their midst. Lee, on the other hand, did join Dean on scouting magical residences, but neither of the trio refused to step back into Grimmauld Place.

Harry wondered if the Death Eaters continued that concerning project elsewhere. However, it was the _elsewhere_ that made Harry nervous. Now with the possibility of them utilizing Polyjuice Potion, they could be anyone, anywhere.

Severus Snape had not returned, since leaving a few days ago. Harry was still mildly bitter about their last conversation and was glad that he didn't have to deal with him for a while. However, the Professor was not meant to leave Grimmauld Place, and there was no word of where he had disappeared to. Harry knew he shouldn't worry – He was an adult and he does whatever Snape usually does in his own time. But Harry still felt slightly worried when he didn't show up. Hermione had mentioned he would return shortly, but he never did. Snape seemed to prefer being alone, so Harry wasn't going to press that issue longer than necessary.

_He'll show up eventually_ , Harry mused to himself.

It was just after lunchtime, when Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna decided to spend the afternoon in the sitting room on the first floor. Hermione and Luna spent some extra time cleaning up the room, removing dust, and making the room felt more open and livelier, less cluttered, and homely. It was a nice change from the old dreary mess it was previously. Sirius would have loved to see it like this – This was what Harry had always imagined the house would have looked if Sirius were alive and finally living with Harry.

Once the crackling fire had started, Kreacher had treated them all to hot chocolate with cinnamon, freshly baked fudge cookies and savoury pasties. Hermione had offered to help Kreacher, but the house elf was insistent she'd stay put. Ron couldn't help but laugh.

"Ron, that's not funny. You _know_ how I feel about it, "Hermione nursed her mug of hot chocolate begrudgingly, as she sat on the couch next to Ron.

"Alright, relax. Kreacher didn't want to be set free. That's his choice, isn't it?" Ron responded.

Hermione sighed a little too angrily, "Yes, I know, but…You know what, _never_ mind."

Attempting to change the subject, Neville cleared his throat, "So Hermione, how are the potions coming along?"

"Slow and steady, "Hermione took a sip of her hot drink, "Ginny and I have a pot of Blood-Replenishing potions cooling downstairs. We figured we'd stock up on that - _just_ in case - given our current situation. I have a few vials of a mild analgesic serum ready, but I haven't quite got enough ingredients for the stronger alternative yet. Also, I have started brewing more Anti-Nausea elixir for Professor Snape…He looked awful when I saw him last."

"If you give me a list of things you need, maybe I can try and find the remaining stuff?" Neville offered, "Basic ingredients have been hard to come by recently…Madam Pomfrey told me and Hannah last week about the dwindling supplies. Even St. Mungo's are struggling with their patients at the moment. Without the correct Potions to cure them, we haven't been able to get them well enough to be discharged home."

Ginny intercepted, "I suppose people are freaking out now, and stockpiling what they can. With people disappearing, I don't blame them."

"I'm going back to St. Mungos later on. Madam Pomfrey wants to teach Hannah and I a new healing spell."

"That's wonderful, Neville, "Luna mused, glancing over at Neville as she sat cross-legged on the floor. A line of chocolate evident on her upper lip, as she happily sipped from her mug, "You'd make an exceptional healer."

Neville let out a small nervous laugh, "I'm no healer. Just lending my assistance. It's completely mad over there." He glanced over at Harry, who sat beside Ginny, staring off into space. Neville tilted his head, "You alright, Harry?"

Blinking back into the present moment, Harry's eyes darted around the room, and finally found Neville peering right at him, despite becoming distant within the conversation, "Yeah, I'm fine. I suppose. Just…Nothing." There was an awkward silence that shifted amongst the occupants, and Harry felt uncomfortable with the sudden spotlight of attention.

Ron cleared his throat, "I was thinking. Do you think there is a way we can put a, well – _tracker_ – on the Death Eaters? Kind of like the hex Voldemort put on his name."

Hermione let out a sudden gasp, causing Ron to jump slightly, "That's _dark_ magic, Ron! We will do _no_ such thing! "She shot him an aghast look.

"Hey, it was just a suggestion. _Blimey_ , Hermione. I figured maybe we could ask Snape if he knew how to do it?"

Harry shook his head, "NO, we are not asking him to do that."

"Surely, there is another way we can do it. I mean, it's not a completely terrible idea, "Ginny suggested.

"Gee, thanks Ginny, "Ron huffed, as he leaned back in his chair, looking defeated.

Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother, "No, what I _meant_ is that maybe we can think up other solutions? Like, oh I don't know…Tracking the Dark Mark, or something? Some sort of magical trace?"

Hermione was deep in thought, "Hmmm. Perhaps? Only problem is that, Snape's Mark might interfere with us tracking the rest of them. Again, we'd have to consult him about that. If anyone knows the most about the Dark Arts, it's him. He can give us an answer."

"I honestly don't think Snape will ever allow us to tamper with the Dark Mark. That's a disaster waiting to happen, "Harry explained, "Besides, we don't want to make his condition worse."

"Well, we can _pose_ the idea, and see what he says. He is a teacher, after all. We could really do with his expert opinion right now, "Hermione wondered, "Besides, we won't be _tampering_ with anything. There are far too many consequences with that."

Ron snorted, "Yeah, and he'd probably tell us to shove it. Bad enough he hangs around here -"

Ron was cut off in conversation, as they suddenly heard Luna happily humming to herself, seemingly unaware of anyone else in the room. The Gryffindors exchanged awkward glances, and it wasn't until there was complete silence, did Luna look back to the others. "Oh. You know that is an exceptionally good idea. It's obvious, isn't it?"

Harry shook his head in confusion, "What is?"

Luna wiped the chocolate from her face, using the back of her sleeve, as she tilted her head, "What about another DA lesson?"

Hermione furrowed her brow, until her eyes widened in realisation, "Oh!"

"Oh?" Neville looked confused.

Hermione grinned, "That's a wonderful idea, Luna! Perhaps we can convince him to, well…instruct one?"

Ron gasped, "Are you _barking_ mad? A bit late for one, don't you think?"

"Wait, _what_?" Harry exclaimed, "No - He is _not_ going to like the idea of that."

"Well, he _is_ a teacher, "Hermione responded as a matter-of-factly, "He allowed us to brew those Potions downstairs – and _with_ him without a fuss, I might add - and he taught Harry how to send a message by Patronus. We can learn so much more from him."

"The man's _dying_ , Hermione. Teaching us anything else will be the last thing on his list, "Harry was a little irritated at the idea. As much as he understood their reasoning for it, he couldn't help but feel bad for using the man in this way. Snape was already doing more than enough for them and asking another favor of him may not bode well for either of them.

Ginny asked, "Well, we can only ask. Besides, i'd like to have a proper defense against the dark arts lesson this time, as opposed to the monstrosity we learned this year with the Carrows. "

"You know my feelings on being stuck in another class with Snape, but he may very well be, well…different?" Neville spoke a little nervously at the idea, "…Hopefully? He may actually give us a chance this time."

"You never know…Perhaps he would be happy to share his knowledge before his death, "Luna shrugged, and continued with her timid, soft tone almost trailing off. "If I knew I was going to die soon, I would want to share what I could to someone else. "Luna gave Harry a small smile and turned her head back towards the fireplace, lost in her own little world once again.

He honestly doesn't know how she does it.

Feeling uncomfortable with the morbid turn in conversation – thanks to Luna – he couldn't help but agree with her statement. Because to be fair, Snape had already done that when he was expecting to die with Harry present. He passed on his memories, including many personal ones that only he knew of, in the hopes to share his knowledge one last time. Perhaps Snape may be willing to share his knowledge again? It could possibly be too much to ask of him now, but Snape could very well be attuned to the idea. Deep down, Harry really hoped to learn more from him. _Willingly_ , this time. Now he was more than ready to pay attention, and perhaps this time, he won't disappoint the man in his so-called mediocre learning ability.

Who knows? Snape may even be surprised at their skill level now, given the turn of events of the year. They learned so much actively fighting for their lives, more than they ever could sitting in a classroom. In fact, besides a few moral hiccups, Snape seemed satisfied enough with their fighting efforts and dueling style in the recent incidences they've fought side by side. From the Forest fight, to taking back Grimmauld Place, and fending off Death Eaters at Snape's residence; it could very well be possible that Snape could be willing to teach them further.

After all, Snape was no longer a spy for Voldemort, thus he had no reason to withhold anything. Technically speaking.

But given their last conversation, Harry was hesitant. Snape _did_ make it blatantly obvious that he wanted to keep it professional. As a student, it couldn't hurt to ask, right? But he was worried how receptive he may be of the new request. But they really could use his additional help.

There was another awkward silence on mention of Snape's impending fate, and it hurt Harry a little too much to think about. The man was already willing to risk his life to keep Harry safe. Only those sitting in that room knew that he was slowly dying. No one else knew the ramifications of his close call from death at Hogwarts by Voldemort's hand. No one else knew not even McGonagall, or Molly or Arthur Weasley. Not even Minister Shacklebolt. It was easy for them to request help from Snape because they didn't know. To them, he was perceived as alive and well. They were oblivious to it.

Harry and his friends knew the truth, therefore he felt he had an obligation to abide by the man's last wishes. Whatever they may be.

After a few moments, Harry sighed, "Fine. I'll ask him. We'll get his opinion on tracking the Death Eaters, and maybe we'll see if he was willing to teach us more about the wards. _Properly_ this time, and not in a mad scramble while we were fugitives. We've had way too many close calls with warding. If ever our shields collapse, I want to be sure we can replace them properly again. "

Ron shrugged, "Sounds fair."

Hermione downed the rest of her hot chocolate and rose from her seat, "Let me know when Professor Snape shows up. I need to fill up those vials' downstairs. Ginny, are you coming?"

"On it, "Ginny reached out for Harry's hand, and gave it a light squeeze, before accompanying Hermione to the basement.

"Wait for me – I need that list, then I best be off. I want to go visit my parents before seeing Madam Pomfrey, "Neville waved, "See you later!"

Hermione left with Ginny and Neville, leaving Harry, Ron, and Luna alone in the sitting room. Ron reached over to grab another savory pasty, and took a large bite, leaving flakes all over the front of his shirt. He gave a quick guilty glance to Harry, hastily brushing off the remnants, "Don't tell Hermione…She's been super mad at me for eating so much lately, but I can't help it. She's been on edge lately."

"Can't blame her. We're all a little on edge. Besides, she likes to keep herself busy at a time like this, "Harry looked down at his hands as he spoke, noticing the slightly frayed edge of the bandage underneath his right sleeve. Harry pulled him sleeve back over the dressing and glanced back at Ron, "She's worried about being unprepared this time. Besides, are you both, you know…okay?"

"Oh yeah, we're okay. It's just been stressful with everything else going on now. Just doesn't seem to end. It's hard to, well…move on. With Fred gone…" Ron bowed his head, as he whispered the last few words.

Harry respectively, bowed his head as well, feeling guilty yet again, "Yeah. I know." He glanced over at Luna, who now at this point, had taken her shoes off and twinkled her pale toes at the campfire, keeping within her own Luna-centric headspace. She made it look easy – Like she had no care whatsoever.

Ron gave Harry a thinned smile, trying to shrug off the sense of sadness rising up, "Hey, what did Snape say to you the other day? You know, after we left his place. I forgot to ask. He didn't harass you again, I hope?"

Harry frowned, and shook his head, "Oh, no no. Well, he got mad at me for moving in front of the snake."

"That's it? Well… "Ron shrugged, "…It _was_ kind of stupid of you."

"Did you _see_ his face? I've never seen him… _look_ like that before. Besides, I forgot about the whole Parseltongue thing."

Ron paused in thought, " _Wonderful_. Now he's afraid of snakes. Poor sod."

Harry sighed, "Can you blame him? If I got mauled to death by a giant vicious snake, I would be too."

"Sure, let's forget about the Basilisk then, "Ron sighed, "Do you think we should tell McGonagall about him?"

Harry bit his lip, "I've been thinking about that, but…I'm not sure. I want to, but Snape was insistent of no one else knowing. Hermione even offered to contact Madam Pomfrey for him, but he didn't like the idea."

"Well, he needs to decide soon, because honestly, it's not our place to take care of a dying man. Even more so our ex-Professor, a Death Eater, _and_ problematic git."

" _EX_ -Death Eater, Ron, "Feeling slightly offended, Harry drew back, "I thought you were alright with him now?"

"Depends. As long as he's alright with you, then I have no problem. Once he starts kicking up a fuss, it makes me hate him all over again. I'm glad he's on our side but doesn't mean I have to like him. Besides, you seem to be worried about him all of the time now. What's up with that?"

"It's…complicated, Ron, "Harry clenched his jaw, "He gave up everything to see to it that I make it this far. That I survive. He didn't have to, but he did. That night when he gave me his memories…" He paused slightly feeling overwhelmed with his attempts to remember that night, "…He showed me many _personal_ memories. Parts of his life…I saw things that no one else did. They weren't necessary, but he showed me anyway. Dumbledore asked too much of him. I saw Snape differently."

"Don't forget how badly he treated you in class, though. He was always foul, especially to you."

"He _had_ to be, or else his cover would have been blown. I was young and stupid, and I made it easy for him to hate me. We all were Ron. I _know_ I'm not my father, but I often reminded him of James. It wasn't my fault. It took him six years to realize that I _wasn't_ him."

"Took him _bloody_ long enough. I'd be mad at him…I wouldn't want anything else to do with him."

"I _did_ , and I _was_ mad at him. Furious! The night Dumbledore died…I _wanted_ to kill him. When I found out he was the one who overheard the Prophecy, I wanted him _dead_."

"Then what changed?"

"The memories, Ron. It was _always_ the memories. Once I realized the truth that he had been helping me – _Us_ – the whole time…It changed everything. _He_ sent the Doe. _He_ led us to the Sword of Gryffindor. _He_ lied to Voldemort's face for years. Every year he saved my life, and I never knew it back then. You may think he's still the same git we knew in first year, but people change, Ron. Sure, he's not a pleasant to deal with, but he eventually came to do good, didn't he? You can't deny that. None of us are the same person we were back then, and neither should he be, either. He _knows_ he messed up, Ron. Every year since the death of my mother, he's been trying to make things right. To me, he has more than earned his second chance…Even if his time now is limited."

"I'm not calling you a liar, Harry. I believe you. I just want you to be careful, is all. If he's ever an arsehole to you again, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."

"We've come to a truce, now. A mutual understanding. It's a start."

"Give him time, Harry, "Luna made her way to the couch, still barefoot, and picked up a chocolate fudge cookie. "He is still concerned for you, so that alone speaks volumes. He wouldn't still be trying to protect you, otherwise."

"Helping him is the _least_ I could do, even if he says he doesn't want my help, "Harry ran his hand through his messy hair, "He has no one. You saw what happened during the Order meeting…Snape was condemned. I _can't_ let that happen again. No one understands. No one saw what I saw."

"You're doing the right thing, "Luna smiled, "He is dealing with a lot, I'm sure. He just needs to find a sense of purpose again."

Harry sighed, "Yeah, I suppose we all are."

Before they could continue, they began to hear additional voices downstairs, along with shuffling down the length of the hallway below. Harry and Ron looked at each other and then began to make their way down to see what was going on, with Luna trailing shortly behind and still barefoot. Once Harry reached the ground floor, they were greeted by the warmth of Molly Weasley.

"Oh! _There_ you are!" Molly beamed at Harry with open arms, enveloping him into a tight hug. He was now taller than Molly, and yet he still felt like the little boy she helped at Kings Cross Station.

Gradually, Harry pulled away from the hug before it became too suffocating, "Hi Mrs. Weasley."

"Nice to see you too, mum, "Ron spoke with sarcasm, "I may as well be invisible."

Molly rolled her eyes, "Don't be so dramatic, Ronald. I _barely_ see you anymore. I hope you are both keeping out of trouble. I don't want to see you both plastered on the front of _The Daily Prophet_ for doing something reckless. "

"We're fine, "Harry tried to reassure the woman, but he could see Molly slowly fuming, "It's alright."

Molly looked stricken, " _Alright_?! Arthur told me you found another Death Eater! You can't go taking matters into your own hands. The Ministry can handle this – "

"I'm sure even Arthur is aware that the Ministry are lacking in Aurors these days. We're just lending our assistance. We're being careful."

Ron shoved his hands in his pockets, "Mum, it's fine. We've fought Death Eaters before, stop stressing – "

"Stop stressing? STOP STRESSING?! RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!" Molly's booming voice echoed through the halls, as she planted both hands on her hips, face livid as her cheeks puffed with anger, "You've barely escaped with your _lives_! It was barely three weeks ago since the battle at Hogwarts, and I am NOT going to lose any more of you!"

Ron argued back, "It's not like we haven't handled them before! Besides, we want to help Kingsley capture the rest of them. We lost a lot of Aurors - Many were Confounded. It's a no-brainer that we do what we can. _Blimey_ , mum."

"Mrs Weasley… _Molly_ , "Harry intercepted gently, "Please. We're being cautious. Besides, we are not blindly running out there, wands blazing. "

"Harry, dear, "Molly drew in a deep breath, trying to calm herself, "It's not that I don't trust you lot – Ron, _don't_ interrupt! – It's just…Aren't you tired of all this? Let someone else take over it for you. Just because you defeated Voldemort, doesn't mean you are obliged to clean-up."

"But that's _exactly_ why we need to do this. If we don't, who else will? Most of the magical population are running scared and barricading themselves in their homes. The Ministry is still broken from Voldemort's hold. Rogue Death Eaters are still out there attacking and kidnapping innocent people. And you want us to stay here, sit around and play Wizarding Chess, and pretend everything is fine? Well, because it's not. It's _not_ fine, Molly. You know it's not."

Molly looked exhausted. And if Harry had any inkling, she looked like she was going to burst into tears. Molly's lower lip quivered slightly, as she looked at each boy before her. Luna was still on the staircase watching on, keeping her distance, as her mind seemed to trail elsewhere. Harry can understand Molly's frustration. In fact, Harry felt the same way before his friends convinced him to keep going. He was sure as hell tired of it all too. But frankly, he didn't want to resume his life on the grounds that he could be attacked again at any moment again. He wanted very much to take Ginny away on a real date this time – Just the both of them. In no way was he willing to do that still looking over his shoulder in constant danger. That was no way to live.

Harry wasn't ready to give up the fight just yet.

After silence befell them, Molly finally spoke again, "I know. Harry, I know. I just can't imagine losing another one of you. I wouldn't be able to bear it. Losing Fred…" Her voice broke at the mention of her son's name, as she looked away.

Feeling a pang of guilt rising within his stomach, Harry reached out to place a hand reassuringly on Molly's shoulder, "What we are doing, we are doing for him. And everyone else we lost. The war isn't over until it's safe again."

"That's like saying we'll have Hogwarts up and running again for another school year. Do you see that happening with this current mess? _Unlikely_. No parent is going to risk sending their kids to school right now, "Ron explained, "Besides, McGonagall doesn't even think it's safe for a memorial yet."

After clasping Harry's hand gently from her shoulder for a few moments, she let go to brush away a tear, "You've both grown up _quicker_ than you're supposed to…I suppose I can't stop you for trying to do the right thing. You are young adults now, and your decisions are your own…Doesn't mean I still can't worry about you."

"We'll be fine, really, "Harry smiled reassuringly at the Weasley matriarch, doing his best to prevent himself from further upsetting her.

Molly glanced from Harry, to Ron, then up at Luna on the stairwell, before turning back to Harry, "Alright then. "She clasped her hands eagerly in front of her floral printed casual dress, "I thought I might fix you lot some dinner. Arthur won't be home until much later, and George is off with Angelina – It took much convincing to get him out of the house, mind you. And Percy has been busy helping Kingsley in reforming the Ministry. I didn't fancy on sitting around alone in an empty Burrow."

Luna smiled, "Would you like some assistance?"

Molly beamed, "That'll be lovely, sweetheart. Come now – "She beckoned for the Ravenclaw to follow, and both disappeared into the kitchen, as Molly led her in with an arm around the girl's shoulders.

Exchanging wary glances, Harry and Ron made their way into the basement to convene with Hermione and Ginny, as the four of them tinkered away at the remaining potion stores. Much to Harry's concern, Hermione had explained to them how dwindled their supplies were, and barely scraped enough for basic potions. Neville had volunteered to seek out herbs from Hogwarts, but considering the danger now lurking in the shadows, it was a risk they weren't willing to take just yet. Harry already knew that Hogwarts had a limited supply since it's destruction and ransacking during the battle. The supplies were either destroyed or stolen, as Harry had already seen while he and Snape were down there several weeks ago. With no one to restock them, they were running out of places to obtain even the basic ingredients.

Neville was already concerned with the lack of supplies at St. Mungos, and Harry did not want to deprive the hospital with potion remedies that could save a life. So, it left the group in a predicament, that they may not have enough to deal with Snape's condition. They could barely scrape by enough to aid them in case one of them became injured.

Whilst mulling over their options at dinner, Harry began to stress more as the evening progressed. He hated feeling like a sitting duck with his hands metaphorically tied. There were no new sightings of the rogue Death Eaters, and he heard no word from the DA members who left behind their charmed coins. That alone was instilling a new fear within him. Without the coins, he could not immediately contact them in secret if the need arose. He could only hope that they were still alive and well, and at least manage to take safety measures.

Once dinner was over, the group assisted in cleaning up the kitchen and dining room and bid farewell to Molly and Luna who departed soon after. With a rising headache within his temples, Harry retreated early back to Regulus' old bedroom; of which Harry _still_ couldn't muster up the courage to take Sirius' room yet. In fact, he hadn't even entered that room for a long while, feeling as if he was intruding on his Godfather's sacred space.

Harry slipped into bed, staring at the ceiling for several hours trying to manage his rising headache before he finally drifted off to sleep. But yet again, he was hit with the same nightmares he has had since the battle of Hogwarts. But given stress upon the teenager in the last few days, this time felt worse.

The nightmare began to sear into his mind like the force from his scar.

It didn't take long for Harry to feel a rising panic. His head started to pound with the force of a drum, causing Harry to thrash within his bed, and tangling himself within his sheets, as the nightmare became too great to bear. Each familiar face vivid of those that were lost, flashed into his mind, further sending him downwards in terror and being forced to relive those memories once again.

_"Kill the spare!" "AVADA KEDAVRA!" A flash of green light blinded his subconscious. "Cedric, no!"_ Harry yelled out Cedric's name, in unison to the memory flashing before him.

_"Nice one, James!" A memory at the Ministry shrouded the previous one in a haze, and with the feeling of adrenaline, fighting side by side with his Godfather Sirius. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" But another flash of green light burned in his mind, as he watched helplessness as Sirius fell through the veil once again. Bellatrix laughing manically as she bounded away in all her sadistic, twisted glory._ Harry twisted in pain and fear, as tears streamed down his face. "Sirius! Sirius, please!" Harry wept, still bound by the nightmare taking hold of him, refusing to let him go.

That memory dissipated and took the form of another as quickly as it played, sending Harry's chest burning within his subconscious.

_A green light flashed again, this time resulting in overseeing Albus Dumbledore being blasted off the edge of the Astronomy Tower…_ Beads of sweat poured down Harry's head, and onto his chest, soaking through his grey shirt, "NO!"

_Another flash of green exploded within his vision, as he saw the crumpled form of Hedwig spiral downwards from the sky, as some of her feathers were taken away by a gust of wind in the night air._ "NO!" Harry's breathing was rapid, struggling against the onslaught of his mind. _Another dissipation of his memory, re-materialized as another. This time he was holding onto Dobby's injured form, feeling the gut-wrenching blow of yet another loss. The sounds of Harry's cries within the memory was drowned out by the sound of the crashing waves on the beach where they sat._

Harry wept silently; overcome by the nightmare he was trapped inside of.

_The memory changed again, as he was forced to watch students crumbling to the floor around him, injured and helpless, as he ran through a destroyed Hogwarts. Explosions sounded around him, as more bodies fell. Screams of terror echoed within his mind, which was not just his own. The memory swirled into another, this time looking upon the faces of the dead before him. Fred…Tonks…Remus…Colin…Lavender…Snape…_

Harry's sob escalated to what sounded like a miserable wailing. He was in pain. His chest…So much pain…His heart ached. He could hear voices in his hear, but he could not make them out. Some were frantic, and he felt his body being shook. But no matter how hard he tried; he could not pull himself out of the death-like chokehold the nightmares were giving him. Like the Devils Snare wrapping around his body…his neck…Inhibiting his ability to breathe.

_Finally, the last ounce of agony within his nightmare. Staring at his own bruised and battered form once again, as he walked in the Forest to his death. The ethereal forms of his parents, Sirius and Remus walking beside him...As another green flash of light snapped him out of terror and back into reality._

Several different voices were crying out in unison, but his head hurt too much for him to even attempt to open his eyes. He felt cold hands grasp his shoulder, shaking him back to reality with a firm grip.

"HARRY! Harry, please!"

"Wake up, Harry!"

"Oh, what's happening to him?!"

"POTTER!"

Finally, and with great effort, Harry opened his eyes.


	20. Seeking Sanctuary

* * *

**NOTES** : Hey guys! This chapter has a bit of a magical-info dump. There is a segment below talking about wards and given how little we know of protective enchantments in the Potterverse, and so I've taken the canon info and delved a little further into it, with my own extra spin on it just to give that branch of magic a little more depth. Also, apologies for the slightly slow uploads recently. Just been going through some personal stuff. I'm usually two written chapters ahead, however.

* * *

CHAPTER 20: Seeking Sanctuary

Harry struggled to breathe.

Every inhale was a burning effort to draw in breath, as Harry clasped his chest in desperation. His vision was blurred due to the lack of oxygen in his system, and he felt a cold hand grab hold of his forearm and pull him upright on the edge of his bed. Harry threw his hands on his knees trying to steady himself, leaning forward in order to maximize each breath, despite the room spinning nauseatingly around him. His mind was a blur, and he wasn't entirely sure if he escaped the intense nightmare he had just experienced. It felt like a vision all over again, with the same intensity, but minus the burning scar and the prophetic snapshots those dreams usually gave him.

"Potter, breathe! _Focus_!"

Harry's green eyes darted upward, feeling slight dizziness, as he noticed the black-clad form of Snape kneeling on the floor in front of him. Harry's breath was rapid, and he could not regain control. His chest felt like it was on fire; heavy as if it were filled with something other than air. He could feel his heart beating fast within his chest and the throb of the pulse in his neck. His body did not feel like his own.

" _Clear_ your mind!"

Harry shook his head, feeling faint as he did so. The gradual pain in his head inhibited any rational train of thought at this present moment. At this point, he couldn't distinguish if his face were wet with tears or sweat, but he knew he looked like an awful mess. Finally glancing beyond the mass, he could see Hermione, Ginny, and Ron looking back at him beside Snape, with worry etched on their faces within the room.

 _Great, an audience._ Harry shut his eyes and struggled to swallow back rising bile in his throat.

"Potter, pay attention," Snape's voice became a soft drawl, but Harry had difficulty distinguishing his voice against the echo of the nightmare still carved within his mind, "Nod, if you can hear my voice."

His mind was clouded, and it felt like dozens of voices collectively yelling at him, and even the sound of his carotid pulse in his neck felt like drums pounding beside his ear. As opposed to the ringing that would not stop. Every sound felt amplified, and he struggled to distinguish the voice of Snape piercing through that.

Between a struggled breath, Harry finally nodded, clenching his fists so tightly, that his knuckles were white.

"Good. Now, keep your eyes closed. Focus _only_ on my voice." There was a slight pause as if Snape were waiting for a sign to continue or watching him with bated breath. Harry gradually began to feel uncomfortable, "Listen to my instructions – Keep your eyes _closed_ , Potter! – Now…Envision something. A location. A peaceful one. A sanctuary, for lack of better term. You are not required to tell -"

"- Sky. Flying, "Harry's voice was hoarse and dry.

There was a pause, before Snape continued, "Alright…That will be adequate. We'll proceed with that. You are more than adept on a broom. Focus on a clear day… "Snape's voice was oddly calming, and dare he admit it, soothing. "Now – Think of the stillness. No crowd. Just you and your broom. Push _away_ all other thoughts within your mind. Try to _only_ envision yourself in flight, and nothing else. "

It reminded Harry of meditating, though he had never really experienced such a thing before. _This is rather embarrassing_.

As if Snape was anticipating this thought process, he continued, "Concentrate, Potter. Don't allow your mind to deviate."

 _Blimey_.

Harry nodded again, eyes still tightly shut, in his attempt to focus on anything else but the flash of green reverberating within his memory. Initially, all he could think of was Quidditch. But Snape insisted on something less chaotic. Instead, he tried to focus on the Quidditch pitch; emptied of the usual crowds within its stands, and devoured of the players circling the stadium. He tried to imagine rising up on his perch on his broomstick – his Firebolt. He tried to imagine a blue sky, with white clouds overhead. A slight breeze. A normal day. No disastrous weather conditions. No Dementors floating about. No Death Eaters after his head.

Just…emptiness. Silence. Peace.

"Focus on your breathing. Large breaths. Inhale…Exhale…" Snape initiated a count, and Harry tried to direct his efforts in breathing in unison with it, "Good. Very good. Keep holding onto that sanctuary you've painted within your mind, Potter. Adapt yourself to the sounds of that location. "

Harry imagined himself flying upwards among the clouds; directing his broomstick to initiate loops and nosedives. He tried to imagine the Snitch fleeting from him like a tiny golden speck in the distance. He chased it – Finding himself speeding past the towers of Hogwarts. Over the Forbidden Forest. Skidding over the Black Lake…

Harry smiled.

He could feel his breathing begin to ease during his immersion into his painted sanctuary within his mind; his chest relaxing to all but a dull ache. Although his head hurt from the previously pounding headache, he began to feel more aware of his surroundings. His panic began to slowly ease, no longer threatening to suffocate him. He drew in one deep breath, and exhaled slowly, as he finally opened his eyes once again.

Blinking, Harry's vision returned to find Professor Snape still kneeling in front of him, watching him with bated breath. But as Snape watched Harry regain a sense of normalcy, Harry noticed his lips twitch to a small smile.

"Congratulations, Potter. You've accomplished the most basic form of Occlumency."

Harry's brow furrowed in confusion, as he watched Snape stand up on his feet. "Huh?"

"What was the first step to successfully learning Occlumency, Potter?"

"…Clear your mind?"

" _Precisely_. Your envisioned thought triumphed over your nightmare. You were able to push them away and focus on something positive."

Harry looked confused, still trying to settle his still-racing heart.

Snape paused in thought as he clicked his tongue in an attempt to bite back a sarcastic remark. Instead, his gaze lingered on Harry, trying to formulate a simple response, "Think of it like casting a Patronus against a Dementor attack, if you will."

"Why did I feel like I ran a marathon instead?"

"You were hyperventilating, Potter, "Snape softened his gaze, "We can…discuss that later. If you still have the elixir I gave you, I recommend three drops immediately." He glanced down at Harry's unkempt form, pausing before continuing, "Get yourself decent…I will be downstairs." Turning on his heel, Harry watched as the man disappeared past his friends and through the door, allowing his traveling cloak to billow behind him.

Once Snape was gone, Ginny rushed to Harry's side, and sat down beside him, throwing her arms over his shoulders. "Harry, we didn't know what to do. We heard you screaming, and we tried to wake you…" Harry felt her place a reassuring hand over his chest, finding well-needed comfort within her touch.

Ron shifted uneasily on the spot, "And I thought your scar burning seemed bad. I've never seen you freak out like that before. Wait, it's not your scar, is it?"

Instinctively, Harry reached for the scar still evident on his forehead, "No. Actually it wasn't. Oddly enough."

"We were so worried, "Hermione leaned in close to Ron, "Snape was already here, luckily. An hour later, we heard an awful scream. We thought you were being attacked, or something."

Harry clenched his jaw, "It felt that way. "

"Well, we'll let you sort yourself out, and meet you downstairs, yeah?" Ron clasped Hermione's hand, and together, they exited the room.

Harry drew in a deep breath and shamefully buried his head in his hands, feeling overcome with exhaustion. He felt Ginny rest her head on his shoulder, and they sat there together in silence, losing all concept of time. Those moments of peace allowed him to come to terms with the events that just transpired, and the hold in which the nightmares he could not let go of. Snape's analogy of the Dementors made sense. Absorbing and soaking up all sense of self and allowing the soul to become consumed with images of terror so great, that it felt like dying all over again. The visions were so vivid, it felt like it was unfolding repeatedly, causing panic to take hold of his body, which did not feel like it was under his control.

It was the same nightmare he had since the battle of Hogwarts, since everything technically came to a chaotic end. But this time felt so much stronger; like it was another entity entirely. The weeks following had the Gryffindor so afraid to fall asleep, that he may never wake up. Plagued with insomnia, he simply felt like a shadow of his former self. A shell. His mind so consumed with stress and the events which have shaped his life, that his mind felt like it contained a fog that would not lift. It made him feel like a ghost, not part of the real world. And those thoughts feed into his soul, fuelling those nightmares so intensely.

He missed the person he was, before Voldemort made it difficult for him to live a normal life.

Reaching over to his bedside table, he retrieved the _Animo_ _Silentium_ elixir, and proceeded to administer three drops as instructed onto his tongue, allowing the pearly liquid to seep into his system. Soon enough, he could feel relief as the apparent brain-fog lifted from his mind, clearing away any dark remnants that may still have lingered from the nightmare.

Ginny watched as Harry re-corked the vial, "Does that really help?"

Twirling the vial within his sweaty palm, he turned to Ginny, "Yeah, it does. It…helps me to focus a little better."

"I just don't want to see you having to rely on that."

Harry nodded, "It's why I try not to use it often. But I can't stop these nightmares, Ginny. I don't know what else to do."

Ginny brushed a few strands of wayward hair from her face, tucking them back behind her ear, "Once we deal with these Death Eaters, we can both focus on, well…Us. If that's what you still want?"

Harry looked at Ginny, almost offended, "Of _course_ I do. Don't you?"

"I do, Harry. I _know_ it's difficult at the moment, with everything going on. It's tough on all of us, "Ginny reached out to clasp Harry's hand, looking saddened, as she looked back at Harry's green eyes, "I'm just worried about you. I'll always worry."

"I'm just sick of this. _All_ of this. Not being able to move on, without – "

"- I get it, Harry. You don't need to explain it to me."

"I just feel bloody useless. I've been distant. _Especially_ , to you. That's not fair on you, when you've been trying to reach out to me, "Harry sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair, "You're dealing with your own problems. I'm just being selfish."

"Don't be daft. You're not being selfish. I'm just giving you time."

"I don't want to keep pushing you away, Ginny. I'm sorry. "

"Look, we both agreed to take a step back. We did, and now that Voldemort's gone, we can take another chance."

Harry nodded, "I know, it's just…I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"I know, "Ginny tilted her head over to the side, "Besides, I can handle myself." She grinned. But in her attempt to break the ice, Harry still felt terrible.

"Ginny…"

Ginny shook her head, "Look, if you _really_ need to hear it, I wasn't going to give up on you. I know when it's safe to, we can properly be together. "

Harry bit his lip, "Are you sure…you still want to be with me? I understand if you don't…"

Ginny's rosy lips curved into a smile, warming Harry's heart just a little bit more, "Yes, Harry James Potter. I still want to be with you."

Feeling a sense of relief, Harry released a breath he didn't know he held, as he gazed up into her glossy brown eyes. These moments – lately it seems – were rare. He had been hesitant and distant with most of his friends, but Ginny above all, he was afraid to spend quality time with. Since coming to a mutual agreement before the battle of Hogwarts, they both decided it was for the best that they end their relationship on grounds during Voldemort's reign. Harry didn't want Ginny as a target, so they painfully decided to step away. They knew that once Voldemort was finally defeated, they would rekindle their relationship once more.

Harry never stopped wanting that, it was one of the few reasons he kept on fighting. For her. For a proper future.

Now that the threat has mostly dissipated, Harry had often wondered if it was safe enough to re-pursue it. He missed Ginny dearly, but admittedly, he had far too much else on his mind coming to terms with his grief. Of course, he still felt it necessary to give her the space she needed, especially after losing Fred. However, he longed for her company like this. It made everything else seem so, insignificant. Even for a little while. But even with Death Eaters still out there, he was still afraid for her life. Everyone he feels he gets remotely close to gets hurt or dies, and he didn't want that fate for her. If something were to happen to her, he didn't know what he would do with himself.

Harry found himself looking upon Ginny's freckled cheeks, as he felt a smile upon his face. She reached out to place a hand over the side of his face, pulling him closer, as she leaned in to plant her lips softly upon his. For several moments, their lips touched, as Harry reached his hand and placed it over the base of her neck gently, feeling her long red hair, as he pulled her closer. Their kiss was tender, and soft, as their lips lingered together in bliss for what felt like an eternity. But eventually, as they parted, Harry tilted his head forward, leaning his forehead against hers lovingly. He felt comfortable and safe within her company, and for this moment, there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

He felt a shift, as Ginny leaned in to plant another kiss on his cheek, before standing up and removing her hair from her shoulder. She smiled, "Get organised, alright? I'll meet you downstairs."

Still slightly in a daze from that moment of happiness, Harry nodded, as he watched Ginny exit the room, and gently shutting the door behind her. Suddenly, it felt cold again.

Pulling some clothes aside – slightly overworn and frayed, but he could not care any less – he gathered what he could and made his way to the bathroom to get himself cleaned up. He soaked himself in the shower, allowing the hot water to cleanse his pale, soft beige skin from the feeling of filth from his night sweats. He closed his eyes, allowing the water to wash over his face, doing his best to re-imagine his sanctuary of flight once again.

When this is all over, he wanted nothing more than to take his Firebolt out on Hogwarts grounds once again. It was too lovely of a thought to not eventually pursue once he felt safe in the skies again. Perhaps he can convince Ginny to fly with him.

Harry couldn't stop grinning at the wonderful thought.

Feeling the time as adequate enough for him, he stepped out of the shower, dried himself off, and changed into another set of clothes. Taking in a deep breath, he wandered down to the dining room, to find Ron, Hermione, and Ginny waiting for him, with Severus Snape oddly sitting a few seats away, opposite from them. Luna was also there, as she must have just arrived. They seemed to be in mid-conversation but stopped as soon as Harry entered.

Lowering his head, he took a spot next to Ginny and began helping himself to the steaming pot of coffee on the table, filling up a large ornate mug before him. He took a moment to inhale the caffeine he so desperately needed on a morning like this, and glanced around the room, trying to avoid meeting Professor Snape's gaze for the time being. After their last conversation, a few days ago, Harry still had mixed feeling about seeing him here. Despite that, he was also embarrassed enough by the wake-up call earlier in his panicked state, along with the impromptu Occlumency-meditation session. His head was still aching. "So, did I miss anything?"

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat, avoiding Harry's gaze, while Ron bit his lip. Harry's face fell, as he looked to Snape for further information, trying his best to avoid his direct line of sight.

Snape clasped his hands on the table before him, before looking back at Harry, looking slightly stricken, "It has come to my attention, that Mr Dean Thomas' parents were taken yesterday evening."

Almost choking on a sip, Harry placed down his mug, a little too forcefully on the table, sending a few splashes of coffee to hit the table, "… _How_?"

"The Headmistress alerted me late yesterday, upon distress from Mr. Thomas. He has reported them both missing at the Auror Office, thus, the Minister is also aware."

"Were they hurt?"

"It is uncertain. I accompanied Kingsley to scout the location once the Aurors left, but no such signs of struggle were noted. I believe his stepfather is also a Muggle, am I correct?"

Ginny, looking worried, bit her lip as she responded, "Yes, he is. Do you think they should be reported by the Muggle authorities as well?"

The Potions Master paused in thought, expression stoic and unwavering, "I believe the Minister remains in liaison with the Muggle Prime Minister, but for now, Mr. Thomas remains under guard at Mr. Finnigan's residence. That, of which, has now been heavily warded. "

"Well, if things go south, he can always come here, "Ron suggested, with a lazy shrug, "Both, if Seamus won't act like a prat."

Snape shot down a look of warning to Ron, upon his use of language, causing Ron to shift slightly uncomfortably within his seat. Upon a few passing moments, Harry watched as Snape's expression turned more concerning, as the man's eyes darted to each teenager in the room much like he used to do in class, his voice now commanding, "In light of these events, I must _insist_ you all remain within the safety of these wards until it is deemed safe enough." He looked over to directly address Hermione, "Miss Granger, I have requested to Kingsley to assign round the clock surveillance to your residence. If they are truly targeting Muggleborn families, then I am afraid you and your family are also at high risk."

Hermione looked upset, and nodded hastily, "…Alright. Yes, of course. Thank you, sir."

Snape lowered his head in light of the gesture until each heard the front door open and shut. There was a slight shuffle in the corridor, and they could hear the portrait of Mrs. Black yelling once again.

"Good _heavens_ , we need to do something about that wretched portrait. One of these days that woman is going to give me a cardiac arrest – "McGonagall walked into the dining room adorned in her favorite emerald green robes and scanned the room, looking relieved to find Snape there, "Ah, good. You're here." She took notice of the somber faces of the students staring back at her, and frowned, "Given by your anxious expressions this time of day, I gather you informed them, Severus?"

Snape nodded, "I did."

With an exasperated sigh, McGonagall took a seat beside Snape, as she looked at her colleague, "I have instructed Filius and Horace to assist in re-stabilizing the wards at Hogwarts. The Aurors stationed there still remain on guard. They've reported nothing out of the ordinary, thus far."

"Do you need any further assistance with fortifying the castle shields, Minerva?"

"No, not at all. For now, I need you to remain _here_. It's far too risky for you out there now, Severus," McGonagall looked over at Harry, "As for you, Mr. Potter…you _must_ do the same. "

"What – "Harry began to protest but was cut off immediately.

McGonagall glared at Harry sternly, "- No _exceptions_. "She clasped her hands casually on her lap, "If we are in desperate need of assistance, we will inform you. For now, be grateful you are in a safe space. The Order must remain on guard. We cannot afford any more _unnecessary_ casualties."

Ron cleared his throat, feeling awkward with two Professors in the room, "Do you think they'd be any way of, you know…tracking them? The Death Eaters?"

Frowning, Snape pursed his lips, "Tracking? Don't be _absurd_ , Mr. Weasley. If there were an inking of a possibility, we'd pursue it. They are highly adept in covering their tracks. If they _could_ be tracked, Aurors would have found them a long time ago."

"I know _you_ would know sir, that's why I asked. Maybe there was another way? The Dark Mark..."

Hermione intercepted, "What he means, is that - "She shot Ron a warning look, silencing him for the moment, until she turned back to the Potions Professor, "- Perhaps we can formulate another way. Some, advanced incantation that may at least give us an area we could search? If they are not convening in wizarding areas, then they most likely will be hiding out in Muggle ones. That's a lot of ground to cover."

Snape leaned forward on the table, placing his hand's palm downwards in front of him, in an effort to subdue his rising frustration, "It is _impossible_ , Miss Granger. The Dark Mark is _imbued_ with dark magic, thus providing an element of protection for the host _against_ any method of detection. It is not only designed to summon, but to essentially, cloak the host from such charms. The Dark Lord would have never made his followers an easy target."

"Not even the _Avenseguim_ Charm will work?" Hermione questioned.

Snape leaned back in his chair, with a heavy sigh, "No, it will not. That requires a personal object of possession, one which they are discouraged from carrying for such reasons. I assure you; You _cannot_ magically track a Death Eater. They move _undetected_ – That is the point."

"What about, oh I dunno… _Altering_ it?" Harry suggested, but suddenly all eyes were on him. That was probably a mistake.

Snape sneered, "Potter, that is the most _ridiculous_ thing I've ever heard. The Dark Mark cannot be tampered with. That is dark magic, even beyond my limitations. If it could be tampered with, I will no longer have it. Regardless, I'd not be so keen to discover its ramifications."

"It was just an idea. I didn't say it was a _good_ one."

" _Potter_ – "

McGonagall cleared her throat a little too loudly, and held up her hands to silence them, "Alright, _enough_. Settle down. Severus, it won't hurt to hear alternative ideas. However, those of which unfortunately, are not plausible by any means, I'm afraid. We'll just have to seek them out the, well…Old-fashioned way. So to speak. We have no other choice."

There was a short silence between the group, before someone else spoke again.

"…Professor McGonagall, "Ginny said.

"Yes, dear?"

"Will we still have the memorial at Hogwarts?"

McGonagall's face dropped, as she looked saddened, "I am afraid it will still be delayed. I cannot risk an attack happening there…Far too dangerous given the current circumstances. The Minister also agrees with that decision."

"Blimey, we can't even have a memorial yet, "Ron looked at McGonagall, glumly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Weasley. There is nothing else I can do, "McGonagall adjusted her cloak, as she rose from the table, "Speaking of which, I must get back to Hogwarts. I don't feel comfortable leaving it for too long. Apologies for the quick visit."

At that very moment, Neville Longbottom walked into the house and proceeded to the dining room. He stiffened slightly on the sight of the Potions Master but turned to give McGonagall a nervous smile, as he awkwardly made his way to one of the empty seats beside Ginny, trying his best to avert away from the Potion's Master's gaze.

"Ah, Mr. Longbottom. How is Poppy?" McGonagall smiled at the sight of Neville entering the room.

Neville shrugged lightly, "She's alright. A little stressed over at St. Mungos, but grateful for all the extra help. It's been bonkers over there."

"I presume so, "McGonagall smiled, "Will you be considering pursuing a career as a Healer?"

Neville chuckled, "Oh, no. Definitely not. Just volunteering for now, but I am learning loads from Madam Pomfrey. But I still want to further pursue Herbology, though." Harry watched Neville trying his utmost best to still avoid Snape's gaze.

Harry watched as McGonagall clasped her hands together. Something she usually did when she was pleased, or proud. Or both. He glanced over quickly at Snape, who looked slightly uncomfortable and rigid, at the current display of the praise of Neville. Harry couldn't help but wonder if McGonagall was doing that on purpose to further tick off Snape, but all amusement aside, he was extremely proud of his friend. If there was one person Harry has known to have grown so much in confidence and skill, that person would most definitely be Neville. Without a shadow of a doubt.

"I'm very proud of you, Mr. Longbottom. All of you, "McGonagall smiled, "Had I have known I'd ever be dueling side by side with you lot, I'd have taken _better_ care to teach you. Nevertheless, you make me proud, "She turned to look at Snape, "Severus, you should be proud too. After all, they did well to carry the mantle. Wouldn't you agree?"

Snape's thoughts wavered slightly as he paused, but eventually, he gave a curt nod in response, "Indeed they did, Minerva. Considering the circumstances…They did more than well."

"Alright, I shall not linger any longer. Be _safe_ , all of you – "McGonagall wandered out of the dining room and departed from Grimmauld Place.

"I like her." Everyone's eyes darted to Luna; whom Harry apologetically forgot was still there. She often remained quiet, but Harry was always surprised how much she still picks up in conversation. Luna shrugged, "I really do miss being at Hogwarts."

Taking the previous conversations to mind, Harry figured he'd finally muster up the courage to ask what they had discussed yesterday. Finishing off the coffee within his mug, he finally encouraged himself to look directly at Snape, "…Sir?"

Snape diverted his gaze back at Harry, and replied in a tone so lazy, Harry had the inkling he wasn't in the mood for such lectures, " _Yes_ , Potter?"

"Can you, err – "Harry shifted slightly uncomfortably in his seat, "Teach us something about the wards? Or, anything…Else? While we're here." _That came out wrong_.

The man stared at Harry with such intensity, that it was unpredictable if he was going to explode with rage, or not. Either way, Harry braced himself, but eventually, Snape curled his lips with much bitterness, "Are six years of teaching you within my classes, _lost_ on you, Potter?"

Hermione's eyes widened, and Harry could have sworn Ron tried his best to suppress a chuckle.

"That obviously came out wrong, "Harry felt annoyed with himself," What I meant, was…We want to learn more from you. Teach us something you wouldn't normally teach in class. If we are going to be stuck here for a while, might as well make it productive."

" _Please_ , no potions, "Neville intercepted, but looked at Snape a little sheepish, as he released a nervous breath, "…No offense, sir."

Snape turned to narrow his eyes at Neville, "I daresay I do not fancy blowing up the basement on your accord, Longbottom."

"Me neither, to be honest…sir, "Neville shrugged, "Besides, I'd prefer to have a defense lesson which doesn't result in using the _Cruciatus_ curse on a first-year."

_Ouch._

Snape stiffened at the statement, as Harry observed, and he realised he felt rather responsible about that added task designated by Voldemort himself. Harry could have never imagined Snape to be Headmaster, and after their infamous confrontation in the Great Hall, he figured that was also something unwillingly bestowed upon him. From his accounts by Neville and Ginny, Snape tried to his best to avoid direct conflict but had no choice in overseeing the Carrows in their horrific acts. Unfortunately, that was beyond anyone's control at the time.

Still, Harry could tell Snape still felt immense guilt over that.

After an awkward pause, Snape eventually relaxed the tension within his face, and gently sighed, "What about the wards, specifically, are you needing to know?"

Harry was pleased, not expecting that response, "Well. It's not really a matter of casting them that we were worried about. Hermione and I had enough experience with that. However, twice I've seen you detect such enchantments…It's like you knew which ones were used. How?"

Snape gently clasped his hands and placed them on the table, retaining his almost-rigid posture. Harry also noticed he looked slightly paler than usual, "With experience, you will come to recognise the after-effects of each protective enchantment. Each inhibiting its own distinguishing feature. As the caster, you will be privy to such effects. However, to bring them down, one must be aware of the specific enchantment used. There is no _single_ enchantment to bring them all down."

"That makes sense, "Hermione gently intercepted, "I read somewhere that wards are rather advanced, thus not many people are able to tell them apart. Is that true?"

"That is correct, Miss Granger. It is a frequent miscalculation when the wrong counter-charm is used blindly, causing it to backfire, in some instances. Aurors are adept in the skill, most specifically, in detecting disillusionment spells. Much like the one that masked my own residence."

"So, how do we tell the difference?" Harry asked.

Snape eyed each student before him, before jumping back into teaching-mode once again, "There are two ways one can determine the wards used. By spell, or by contact. Common sense should prevent you from muttering spells everywhere you set foot – especially in a Muggle dwelling - but being able to _physically_ detect any atmospheric disturbance, will be effective enough. Any wrong counter-spell used could prematurely set it off."

Neville grimaced, "No offense sir, but I don't fancy sticking my hand in what I presume may be a protective shield. I watched Snatchers get disintegrated because they ran straight for it."

"That's because the Snatchers are _idiots_. Any magical dwelling will have some mode of protection among them. They were too power-hungry to keep that in mind."

"So, what exactly do we look for?" Ginny asked.

"Wards are essentially, invisible barriers. But consider those barriers much like…Smoke. The outer layer will be lighter, thus becoming far denser within its core. To detect the ward, we focus on the lighter layer." Snape turned to Harry, with a raised eyebrow as he began firing questions, "Potter, do you recall that evening we went to Grimmauld Place under Death Eater guard? You were able to detect the ward. Tell me, what did you experience?"

Harry furrowed his brow trying to think back, but his mind was still slightly hazy from his horror-induced wake-up call earlier, "It felt like, a…a magnetic repellent."

Snape nodded, "Correct. That was _Protego_ _Totalum_ – A charm used to repel intruders. Did you feel anything else?"

"Well, "Harry bit his lip, in his attempt to remember further details, "Static?"

Snape nodded once again, " _Cave_ _Inimicium_. Can be used to hide the caster, or a targeted area. If you look closely enough, it creates a subtle haze within your vision, designed to avert your gaze."

"And it doesn't mask scents, "Hermione shot Harry a look, "…We learned that the hard way."

"There are several more distinguishing features of said shield charms, however…" Snape paused, as he seemed to stare off into the distance, unusually unfocused. Harry watched as the man's head swayed slightly and noticed him fasten his hold on the dining room table, his face a few shades paler, and his eyes began to blink lazily.

"…Sir?" Harry leaned forward, observing the man with great care. But as he looked closer, he could see his wound began to seep again with fresh blood, flooding the bandage still plastered to his neck. "Sir, your wound…" Harry stood up from the table, and looked over at Ron, "Ron, help me get him upstairs. Hermione, we'll need some of those blood-replenishing potions."

Snape immediately threw his hand up to his neck, trying his best to staunch the wound again. A few drops of blood were falling down over his robes, staining the little Harry could see of the collar of his white undershirt, " _Bollocks_."

"We'll get you upstairs – "The now panicked group watched as Snape swayed slightly as he slowly stood, as dizziness overcame him, causing him to hunch over the table in a bid to steady himself. Hermione dashed from the table and sprinted out of the dining room to make it downstairs to their little potion stores in the basement. Ginny looked nervously at Luna, who both stood up, unsure of what to do. Both Harry and Ron took opposite sides, assisting Snape in the journey upstairs to his room, with Neville following closely behind.

They led the Professor slowly and steadily up two agonising flight of stairs, up to the second-floor master bedroom. They had to stop several times, for fear of Snape fainting and falling down the stairs. The more minutes that ticked by, the more sickly Snape looked. By the last few steps, they practically had to drag the man to the master bedroom. When they finally did, they helped Snape to the bed, as he fell on top like dead weight, losing whatever little of the energy he had left.

Snape's breathing was quick and shallow, which greatly alarmed Harry. Harry made a move to remove the bandage, but Snape immediately grabbed his wrist.

" _Don't_."

"Sir, we _need_ to change the bandage."

"I'll deal with it myself, Potter. Leave me be."

Harry watched as Neville conjured some fresh bandages, and placed them on the bedside table, next to the vials of antidote – two less empty vials, much to Harry's relief.

Grateful, Harry nodded at Neville, "Thank you, Neville."

"I did have a small bottle of essence of Dittany, but I left it with another Healer at St. Mungos," Neville winced, wishing he had more. He bowed his head down apologetically.

"It's alright, we'll just have to make do without for the time being."

At the same moment, Harry could hear the rush of footsteps from the staircase and looked up to see Hermione bounding into the room. She seemed to be carrying several vials of Blood-Replenishing Potion, and the analgesic serum she had brewed yesterday, along with the essence of Murtlap she had left. Appearing flustered, she placed all objects beside the other vials, as she recoiled at the sight of the blood seeping through the man's saturated bandage.

Neville turned to Hermione, "Could you conjure up a goblet with water? He'll need fluids…Y-You know I'm terrible at that. I'm only good with bandages so far," He looked at the ground, sheepish, "S-Sorry."

Visibly flustered, Hermione nodded, "It's alright, Neville. I've got it." Withdrawing her wand, she transfigured an empty potions vial to a goblet and filled it up using an _Aguamenti_ charm.

Snape grumbled in frustration, not so subtly, making it plainly obvious about all the fuss being made on his accord, "Is it absolutely _necessary_ to have the entire Gryffindor brigade present?"

In an attempt to avoid any further arguments, Harry looked at the others, helplessly, "It's alright. I'll handle this."

Hermione looked at Ron and Neville and nodded as the three of them departed from the bedroom, gently swinging the door half-closed behind them. They knew full well that the only person that can get through to him, was Harry at his point.

Determined, Harry clenched his jaw, as he looked back at the sickly Professor, "Are you going to let me change the bandage, or not?"

Snape sighed, "If that's what it takes to have you leave, then yes."

Harry frowned, "You've been extra foul lately. I know you technically told me to back off the other day, but…At least let me _help_ you. Is that so bad?"

"I have my reasons, Potter. You are not required to know _everything_ about me. You know too much already."

"Well, you won't let me tell Professor McGonagall, or Madam Pomfrey…Right now, we've all you got. So…You're going to have to deal with it."

With a look of distaste, Snape exhaled deeply, as he unfastened the few buttons on the top of his suite, allowing easier access to the bandage, "…Just do it. _Quickly_."

Taking that as a sign of compliance, Harry gingerly reached for the bandage at his neck, and slowly peeled it off, causing Snape to wince slightly at the discomfort. Using an extra piece of the conjured bandaged, he bundled it up into a makeshift gauze, and held it to the wound, allowing Snape to take hold of it. Harry reached for the Blood-Replenishing potion and the analgesic serum and handed them both to Professor, who shockingly, didn't hesitate to consume them this time. As he downed them both, Harry offered the goblet of water to him, and he took a few shaky sips.

The blood began to slowly coagulate, allowing Harry to mop up the remnants of blood around the wound, hence giving him to get a closer look at what they were dealing with. He scrunched his face in distaste, as he observed the horrific nature of the wound. The wound itself looked like a mangled mess. It was not a clean laceration, as it was the worst of the man's wounds. Instead of healthy skin around it, there were dark tendrils of what Harry perceived as the curse inhibiting the wound from healing. The wound was clearly infected, as observed by the pustulant liquid oozing as well as his blood. It looked disgusting, and Harry was trying his absolute best to tend to it without dry retching.

Snape pursed his lips, as he observed Harry's disgusted expression, with almost mild amusement, "That bad, I take it?"

"It looks absolutely ghastly if i'm to be honest, "Harry began to apply the Murtlap to the wound as gently as he could, without causing further discomfort to the man. "What about your other wounds?"

"They are sealed, and not as horrendous. This one is far more problematic."

Harry sighed frustratingly, "Look, once I'm done here, I'll let you rest. But afterward, we _need_ to talk." He motioned to the wound, as he began to apply the new bandage, "About… _This_."

Snape shuffled in the bed once Harry was finished tending to the wound and positioned himself in a more comfortable position. With great effort, he looked back at Harry with wary eyes, "Unfortunately, there's no way I can get rid of a persistent Gryffindor, whilst I'm stuck in a house formerly owned by Black."

"Well… _Good_ , "Harry responded, a little too smugly, and possibly a little too snarky than intended. At least Snape couldn't avoid him this time. Standing back on his feet, Harry looked back at the antidote vials, and gave a small smile, "I'm glad you took more of the antidote, Sir…Relieved, actually." Harry sighed, "I'll…leave you to it then. "

Without waiting for a response, Harry left the room to preserve the man's privacy and dignity. So much about what he saw ran heavily on his mind with worry, and given their dwindling potions supply, there was only so much they could do for him. Harry couldn't help but worry. He could only hope that Snape would be able to give Harry a viable solution in regard to how to manage this fatal curse. If he were able to extend the life of Albus, then surely there was a way they could extend his.

If Snape could trust Harry enough to help him now, then maybe there was some sliver of hope after all.


	21. Memento Vivere

* * *

**NOTES** : Excuse the upcoming dark chapter. Heavy warning of depression and anxiety ahead.

* * *

CHAPTER 21: Memento Vivere

Harry was afraid.

There wasn't much Harry would openly admit to being afraid to, but he was more so worried about what may happen. Seeing Severus Snape in that ill state, made Harry feel incredibly guilty and powerless. It took Harry a great effort to convince the man to finally trust him, and it seems as if just as they were getting along, they both got knocked back a few paces.

Snape had been extra bitter lately, and he couldn't help but think that was in the result of their last tense conversation. Just when Harry offered to reach out to him, the man completely knocked him back once he realised he was getting too close. Perhaps being snarky was his way of keeping his distance with him. Or any of his ex-students in his presence. It made sense on Snape's part, but it was frustrating enough for Harry to be dealing with that again. There had been times where Harry had sensed a genuine change within the man but would catch him off-guard as he instinctively fell back to his old spiteful demeanor once again. Perhaps the man had been so used to doing that in the seven years he has known him, that this double-agent role he had become accustomed to, became a little too natural for him. And yet Snape was still compelled to help him, despite the simple fact that Voldemort is truly gone. He technically had no need to stay, and yet he did.

Snape was still struggling to find his purpose and drive to continue his own life, so he fell back into old habits just to keep himself afloat. Protecting Harry, being one of them.

Both were subsequently dealing with their own personal issues. Snape seemed to be concerned over Harry's wellbeing, even in his best effort to avoid personally showing it. Harry on the other hand was dealing with his own psychological issues inhibiting him from thinking straight, and which elevated his levels of stress, causing insomnia and, now, panic attacks. Both were a mess at this point.

Harry often wondered what Snape does when he wasn't seeking refuge at Grimmauld Place. And yet still, despite Snape's efforts to push the Gryffindor away, it gave Harry an even solidified reason to help him. If he didn't try, who else would? No matter their past transgressions, Harry was determined to make things right, and at this point, they both desperately needed that reprieve. They had both suffered tremendously throughout this war, and Harry would be damned to make sure they didn't continue to suffer afterward.

 _Someone_ had to try.

Giving Snape time to rest after his unfortunate relapse, Harry wandered downstairs to find everyone else back in the dining room, sitting in silence, and waiting for him to join them. Slumping down on the chair, Harry lowered his head, feeling defeated.

"Is he…alright?" Hermione said quietly with worry, breaking the short silence among them.

Harry nodded, "Yeah. For now. I don't know what we are going to do once the potions run out."

"I was thinking about going back to the Hogwarts library and doing some research. Though I doubt even the restricted section will have anything on slowing or removing a curse of that caliber."

"I could go with Neville to the Forbidden Forest and see if we can find some more ingredients?" Luna suggested, "We'll have better luck trying to gather our own for now."

"But Snape and McGonagall told us to stay put, "Neville questioned.

Ginny stifled a laugh, "Since when do we ever do what we are told? Besides, Snape's not getting better in there."

"Hermione, any ideas on what we should do?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed, "Not anything else beyond what we've already tried. We _know_ those new antidotes will at least prolong his life, but to what extent, we really don't know. Or at least they seem to be keeping his symptoms at bay. We can provide supplementary potions to counter some of those, but again, we have the issue of lack of supplies to keep up with that even remotely. We can't take him to St. Mungo's because one, he refuses to allow that. And two, he will be snatched up by Aurors quicker than you can say pumpkin pasties." Hermione paused in thought, until she continued with a look of uncertainty, "Only other thing I can suggest, Harry, is that we'll need to know more about the curse that Dumbledore received from the Gaunt ring. By what you told us about that memory, Snape is the _only_ one to better understand how to prevent it from causing more damage. He is, essentially, the best person to ask."

Harry sighed as he nodded, "Once I go back in there, I'll ask him. "Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly dreading that task, "He's just not _listening_. It's been a struggle to get him to comply with _anything_ so far. I don't even feel comfortable leaving him in there for too long by himself."

"I'm sure he'll manage, "Ron shrugged, "He's an adult."

"Ron, he is practically _dying_!" Harry snapped, "You _saw_ the state he was in. After all he did for us, you're just going to shrug it off?"

"I'm not just _shrugging_ it off, Harry. How can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?"

"He spent _years_ undercover, convincing everyone that he was no better than the Death Eaters seeking to murder us. He changed sides _before_ my parents died that night, begging Dumbledore to keep them – us – safe…once he realised he messed up. Since then he's been working for the cause to bring Voldemort down. He is forever _burdened_ by that guilt, Ron. In the end, he did the _right_ thing. We can at the very least, do the same for him. He gave up everything and gained nothing." Harry was saddened, "Look, I don't expect you all to fully understand…You didn't see what I saw."

"Harry, we _understand_. We've seen how involved you are into making sure he is safe, "Hermione reassured, "It's been affecting you a lot. We can tell. I know it's hard to try and well – save someone – _Snape_ , of all people in the world. We're going to try our best to…give him a second chance."

Harry sighed, sitting back into his chair, "I just…I just feel like I owe it to him. If I didn't seek him out in the Shrieking Shack, he would have let himself die. _Alone_. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone, especially not after what he did. "

"I suppose if he didn't give you those memories at the right moment, he would have died without anyone knowing the truth, "Ginny interjected.

Harry nodded, grimly, "…Exactly. And I may not even have known how to finally beat Voldemort. We could have lost a lot more people that night."

"The more I think about it..., "Hermione trailed off, looking saddened, "I can't imagine what it must have felt like to have to…. end Dumbledore's life. The _only_ person who ever truly trusted him. That is _absolutely_ horrid."

Harry shifted in his seat, looking away, feeling the familiar ever-rising guilt within his core, "And I was prepared to kill him. If that's what _that_ guilt feels like, then I can't begin to imagine how much guilt _he_ is going through. If I can offer Voldemort remorse before this death, then why shouldn't I extend the decency of a second-chance to Snape?"

"Because you have a great sense of empathy, Harry, "Luna chimed in, "You've seen both sides to Professor Snape, and despite all the bad things he's done, ultimately, it's his final act of good that eventually, turned his life around. You must ask yourself, why you haven't given up on him?"

Harry looked over at Luna, taken aback by the blunt question. Admittedly, he had been asking himself that same question ever since he found out he survived. He knew why he couldn't give up, but it was more of a personal affair deep-rooted into their history that made the situation far more complex than he ever cared to admit, "Because if Snape had the capacity to care for someone after they died, even despite their falling out, he was more than willing to sacrifice his _own_ life for a cause she believed in. Despite the horrible things he has done - and had to do - He has more than earned my respect. No one could have done what he did. I just hope that one day, he'll accept that from me."

Luna smiled, "I'm quite sure he appreciates it, Harry. Even if he doesn't want to admit that. As you said, he could have left completely. But instead, he chose to stay. I don't think that needs explaining, do you?"

"We'll keep trying, Harry. There has got to be a solution out there for him, "Hermione reassured.

"I know you all have other things to worry about..., "Harry felt anxious.

"…We won't let you do this by yourself if that's what you are referring to, "Ginny shared a small smile with Harry.

"…Thank you, "Harry's voice broke, and he swallowed down rising bile within the pit of his stomach.

Feeling a rising headache building within his temples, he rose up from the table gingerly and overwhelmed with stress as his chest grew heavy. His heart, was undeniably, heavy. Heavy with grief. Heavy with sadness. Today was just a little too much to bear with.

He should be relieved that Voldemort is gone, but really, it left Harry with a gaping hole in his heart. Like a void that struggled to be filled. There was just so much unfinished business now, despite the war being over. _Somewhat_. They were still treading on dangerous ground, and the targets on their backs still shone like beacons. He felt afraid. Still afraid. Like that fear never truly left him. Yet again, the lives of his friends – his chosen family – are still at stake. The fear of losing anyone else tore his heart to shreds.

Plagued by sudden exhaustion, he turned to his friends, "I'm just going to go rest upstairs. Just, let me know if anything new happens, yeah?"

Concerned, Ginny leaned forward, "Do you need some company?"

Harry shook his head, "I…just need to be alone for a bit." Waiting for no further reply, he made his way up four flights of stairs to his room on the fourth floor. He considered checking up on Snape on the second floor but decided to give the man more time to rest. That's a task he'll tackle later. He required a little more brainpower for that kind of conversation.

Harry was not himself. He could not bear to lose anyone else again, because of him. He felt selfish. The need for his friends to remain by his side was so great, and yet with that same fear, he tried to push them away in order to protect them. He was a fool to think he could do this himself.

Is this _truly_ what Snape was trying to do? Push Harry away in order to protect him?

Knowing the man did have a twisted moral compass, he didn't always agree with his methods. Then again, he approached his impromptu Occlumency lesson differently recently, rather than trying to assault his mind like he tried to do in his fifth year. There was always a method to his madness, but Harry didn't always understand or grasp the man's reasonings anyway. One thing Harry was certain of, is that the man was not simple by any means.

Nothing would ever be the same anymore. Everything has changed. Even Harry. Even Snape. Even his friends. The Wizarding World was currently shattered, with the Ministry in a state of drastic reform by Kingsley. Auror numbers were horrifically low, leaving other older wizards and people barely of age like Harry to take up arms once again. Harry was still very much a target. Snape severely ill, with a high chance of facing an Azkaban sentence if he was to be caught by an Auror. The Order was doing its best to function. The DA was all but broken, with over half either dead or no longer refused to participate. Death Eaters were still snatching or killing wizard-kind and Muggleborn families in a last-ditch effort to instill terror within the magical community.

Sirius was no longer here to give Harry comforting words of wisdom. Dumbledore was no longer here to empower Harry with his usual mood-boosting monologue. Remus was no longer here to offer words of comfort and genuine compassion. Fred was no longer here to keep him in good spirits. Dobby was no longer here for companionship. Hedwig was no longer here, wanting affection. No 'constant vigilance' pep talk from Mad-Eye Moody.

As Harry entered his room, a single tear rolled down his face, as he gently shut the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling completely hollow, staring off into space and fixating his gaze on one of the dust-covered paintings on the wall. What a pitiful excuse for the Chosen One. Hiding away in his room because the pain was too great to bear. There weren't many tears left to shed, and now he just felt numb. His head pounding with pressure, but he was too scared to close his eyes again for fear of reliving the same nightmare all over again. All he could hear was the echo of the screams from his mother in the back of his mind, accompanied by the flash of green he's seen far too often in his life already.

He just wanted it all to end. Somehow.

Harry drew in a shuddering deep breath, as he once again, buried his head in his hands. He was anxious for a reprieve that may never come. What would his parents think of him now? Would they still be proud? Would they understand why he feels so detached from people? Would they forgive him for his choices? He would give anything to talk to them again. He knew he had the Resurrection Stone, but Snape was right – It was a terrible idea, and that kind of power should not be wielded so casually. It felt like the Mirror of Erised all over again. It would be so easy to consume oneself with that shred of happiness, but he could see how easily addictive that may be.

His stomach grumbled. What was the last thing he ate? He wasn't entirely sure. It was rare for him to eat an entire meal, but now it seems he was just picking at food out of habit, barely consuming anything at all. Well, that could be one cause for the headache. But he just had no desire to eat, nor did he have a measure of an appetite these days.

What has his life now become? The darkest wizard of all time was finally defeated by his hand, and now he was reduced to a pitiful, psychological wreck. A hurt, vulnerable, and anxious version of himself that he always feared to face. Now he understood why Severus Snape had no desire to live out the rest of his life. It made even more sense. Everything had eventually crumbled, leaving nothing left but a hollow pit within his very soul, trying to come to terms with all that has happened. Like it was just some twisted fever dream.

Yet again, Harry still felt selfish. He tried desperately to convince himself that he was _not_ that man two floors down, dealing with his own trauma, grief, and sense of purpose. And yet still, he understood how it felt to push people away when they were trying desperately to help. He only hoped his friends wouldn't give up on him. He felt ashamed to even feel this way, but he just didn't know how to deal with what he was facing.

He lay back down on his bed, staring up at the faded ceiling like he has been doing since the first night they reclaimed Grimmauld Place. The afternoon light piercing from the window faded to the dull dusk of the sunlight. Eventually, the night settled in, and he was once again lost in his own thoughts.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to re-imagine his painted sanctuary once again, in his desperate bid to remove the horrible influx of thoughts swirling within his mind. Identical to the one he created for himself that morning, he tried to focus on the thought long enough to become immersed once again. Oh, how he wished to be back on his Firebolt again. He replayed the same repeated image in his mind until he felt content enough with such a wish. This time he imagined flying side-by-side with Buckbeak. Well, it wasn't too far-fetched of a thought. Feeling a little more measure of peace within himself - _albeit_ very lightly – he eventually drifted off to sleep.

Once he opened his eyes, he completely lost track of time when he looked to the window to find the crescent moon high overhead through a partially-cloudy sky.

The house was all too quiet now, but at one point, he could have sworn he heard faint sobbing from the floor below. The walls of Grimmauld was far too thin, and it didn't take much to overhear anything. He was too anxious to check it out, but it was the sound of a woman. Was it Ginny? Or Hermione? Both women were dealing with their own issues, and yet Harry felt even more guilty for struggling solely with his own. Unsure of how much time had passed now, Harry managed to force himself up and out of bed and wander slowly downstairs.

Passing the third floor, he found Ron leaning up against the wall, watching Harry descend the staircase. Still hearing the sobbing from one of the smaller bedrooms, he looked at Ron with deep concern, as he slowly approached his friend.

"…What's going on?"

Ron looked worried, "It's Hermione. She was just feeling sort of…overwhelmed. With everything. I've been in there with her, but Ginny's there now. "He shoved his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do, "She's worried about her parents. They are fine, but everything is sort of…catching up with her, I think."

Harry drew in a deep breath, definitely feeling the heaviness of the situation and the toll it has taken on all of them, "…We're a mess, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are," Ron shrugged, avoiding Harry's gaze, "It'll hit us all eventually, if not already. I don't know what to do for her. I feel bloody useless."

"You've been with her, and I'm sure she appreciates that more than you know."

Ron nodded, "Yeah, I suppose. Still feels terrible, though."

"It'll be okay. We'll all be okay, somehow, "Harry tried to reassure his best friend, hoping it was enough to convince even himself.

"I'll just be here in the meantime. Go check on Snape. He hasn't come out of there for a few hours."

"Hours? You didn't check?"

Ron shook his head with a look of mild distaste, " _Me_? You must be joking. One knock from me, and he'll turn me into a footstool. So far, you seem to be the one less on his nerves right now. Ironic, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is. You've got this, Ron – Stay here with Hermione. I'll-I'll just be…downstairs, "Grasping the railings with a slightly trembling hand, he continued down the next flight of stairs, approaching Snape's room with much caution. Knowing Hermione's situation was being handled by Ginny, he decided to pay the Potions Master a visit, and make sure he was still at least marginally okay. Despite the feeling of invading the man's space once again, he needed answers. Grasping at straws in the dark wasn't getting anywhere and he was sure to lose it next time Snape decides to send him away again for his 'greater good'.

Harry knocked gently on the door several times, hearing a shuffle from within. _Good, he's awake_.

"It's err...Harry."

There was a pause before the familiar baritone voice pierced the silence, "…Enter."

Pushing the door open carefully, he entered the dark room, only illuminated by a single candle at his bedside. He found the man sitting up on the edge of the bed, looking mildly better than he last found him and watching as Harry walked in through the door, closing it carefully behind him. It was hard to tell within the candlelight, but he appeared somewhat better than his faint, sickly appearance earlier in the day at the dining room table. Snape's usually stern face appeared relaxed – He possibly managed some sleep after all, and better than Harry's disastrous efforts earlier last night.

With an outstretched arm, Snape motioned for Harry to sit in the horrifically unappealing emerald velvet armchair stationed in the corner of the room. "Sit, Potter." Harry couldn't tell if his blank tone indicated if he was irritated by his appearance yet again, or perhaps he simply expected the Gryffindor to eventually show up.

Without another word, Harry hesitantly took a seat as instructed, being careful to avoid the man's direct gaze, and feeling nothing more than dread rising in the pit of his stomach. The last thing he needed was to give Snape an opportunity to peer into his mind.

_Well, good luck deciphering that catastrophic mess._

Snape had been eyeing Harry carefully ever since he entered the room. Harry hated it when he did that because it made him feel like he was under constant unnecessary scrutiny. Once Harry had sat down, Snape did his best not to glare at him directly, as if he sensed a mode of sensitiveness with the situation at hand.

Shifting his posture upright, the man lifted his chin, allowing the curtains of his black hair to fall back away effortlessly, so his view of the Gryffindor could not be skewed. With a careful pause, Snape began to speak once more, "Did the imagery help?"

Confused, Harry shook his head, not understanding what the man meant, "Imagery?"

"Occlumency, Potter," Snape remained calm and meticulous with his responses, in which Harry observed instantly.

"Oh, _that_. Yeah… "Harry's cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment, "It did. It…helped."

Snape remained unmoving, still observing Harry before him, "Good." His expression then relaxed; in fact, the man looked mildly amused, "… _Finally_."

That last word caused Harry to smirk, realising the ridiculousness of the ill-fated lessons in fifth year, and since Voldemort's downfall, now it seemed to work, "Yeah, it worked eventually. Only took two years."

"Better than not at all, "Snape's amused face quickly faltered, as he became more serious, "Occlumency is more than just a mental shield, Potter. By painting a new vision within your mind, you are able to dissipate the remnants of a nightmare – or fear - slowly and temporarily, and regain control. It is a _considerably_ basic form of the art. It's not a permanent remedy as you are aware, but it can act more like a practical form of…meditation, if you will. "

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Surely, it can't be that straightforward? Why couldn't you explain it like that, last time?"

"Increased stress levels and anxiety before you sleep, coupled with certain traumatic events, can induce a nightmare, thus can cause distress upon waking. By thinking of more pleasant thoughts before rest, it can decrease the likelihood of that happening. At least, dull down the negative effects. "

"But how can that be Occlumency?"

"I said it was a basic _form_ of Occlumency. There are several methods to its success. It is the first step to clearing the mind by replacing it with a vision of your own. A…Sanctuary. If you will. That self-made imagery essentially provides you with protection from an oncoming attack of Legilimency, or in your current case, trauma-induced nightmares. During your lucid state, your strongest emotions are relaxed. Once your mind is invaded, you must be able to visualise something of your own making, in order to protect your own memories. An invader would not know the difference between the two."

"Okay, "Harry furrowed his brow in thought, "So, is that what you did with Vol- _him_? Visualised your own sanctuary?"

Snape winced at Harry's attempts to hold himself back from saying his name, sneering slightly before he finally answered, "To a degree. I was able to block his attacks by planting false memories among my own. A faux layer. It was the only way to hide my intentions. My true loyalty."

"So, can it be used against the _Imperius_ Curse?"

"It can. However, only those highly skilled in the art will be able to resist it, but even so…That requires a far greater mental aptitude and perseverance for it to be somewhat effective. It is not always guaranteed to work, even with the required method of control."

"What about the _Cruciatus_ curse?"

"You ask far too many questions, Potter," Snape frowned, "Occlumency can dull the pain, but in this instance, you must also use common sense. Masking the pain will indicate to the caster that it is ineffective; thus, they will continue to use it in a longer duration of time. As you are aware, the long-term effects of that are irreversible. Sometimes the wisest decision is to…succumb to it. Regrettably. Make it quick." Snape shrugged a little too casually for Harry's liking.

Thinking back to Neville and the fate of his parents, made Harry feel sick to his stomach. "Did he…Ever use those curses on you? …Often?"

The man narrowed his eyes briefly, " _Silly_ question. You already know the answer to that. _Crucio_ was his favorite," Snape spoke the last few words with such disdain. There was a slightly uncomfortable silence between them, on the thought of the Unforgivable Curses that have ruled both of their lives, and it was obvious that neither of them wanted to continue with that train of thought.

Snape paused as his mind wandered, suddenly amused with something else on his mind, "Your mother and I used to have, what we called _magical_ _quandary_ discussions. In our early years, we often questioned much during our education and procured questions like these designed to test our intellect. We had rather fascinating debates, pitting two controversial subjects together in our bid to further understand it. Like you, she was always curious."

Harry's mood suddenly perked up on the subject of his mother, "I can definitely imagine that. Was she -" He stopped himself, unsure how to pursue further questioning in regard to his mother. It was a sensitive subject for the both of them, but if anyone could tell him more about her, it was Snape. After all, he knew her for the longest time. But Harry was well aware of their parting of ways, and he was walking a fine line of trust already with Snape. But he just wanted to know more about her. Whatever he could. After all, they were best friends, before things took a nosedive for the worst. There was no way he was going to approach his Aunt Petunia about it.

"- She had a remarkable sense of humour. You adopted her _cheek_ ; I have no doubt about that. Sarcastic even at the most serious of times. However, she laughed often. I do recall several incidences that had her scolded in class for doing so. I believed she earned herself her first - and _last_ \- detention in Transfiguration for uncontrollable giggles…"

Harry couldn't help but smile, suddenly feeling the warmth of her memory within his chest, "From the little I've seen in photographs, and the mirror, and the stone…her smile what I always see."

And he was sure he saw a twitch of a smile on Snape, ever so lightly, but he could definitely see the sadness upon the man's expression, "She was always a positive spirit. Always willing to see only the best in people. Lily was the only person who truly saw me beyond the Dark Arts I delved in. She kept me grounded…Until her view became clear. "

Harry hung his head in shame, even though he knew he shouldn't blame himself, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked – "

"No. You have _every_ right to ask about her. The least I can do is preserve her memory for you… _Somehow_ , "Snape's voice lowered, almost to a whisper, "I can offer you that much. What happened after, was my biggest mistake and greatest regret. The fault lies only with me."

"And you spent every year after her death making up for it, "Harry looked back at Snape, this time allowing himself to glance at the man's sorrowful eyes, "You _have_ to forgive yourself at some point."

"There really is no forgiveness for me, Potter." The man was far too casual about that.

"I forgive you – "

"-You _shouldn't_. I don't want that from you. You, of all people, shouldn't. _Because_ of me, you became an orphan. "

"But I've come to terms with that, now. But you saved me. Every year, you _protected_ me, and I spent most of that time suspecting you as the one wanting me dead…" Harry clenched his jaw, "I spent years _hating_ you. Truth is when I found out you were the one who overheard the prophecy, yes, I wanted you _dead_."

Snape's eyes suddenly turned cold. Blank, even, as his voice dropped to a horrifying calmness that sent Harry feeling very unnerved, "Then do it, Potter. _End_ it. I won't stop you. It'll be merciful."

Harry was livid, "No, you are _not_ pulling that card on me. No, I'm not going to do it. I'm showing you mercy, _now_ , Snape, "He paused in an attempt to compose himself, trying so desperately not to yell in the man's face. He didn't want to argue again," I don't hate you anymore. We had a truce, and you told me that was enough. Is it, though? I want to preserve my mother's memory too, and I want to do that by doing the right thing. You may have messed up in the past, but it was _Peter_ who betrayed them. They would have been safe if it weren't for _him_. "

Snape closed his eyes briefly, feeling tense and doing his best to remain composed. Once he opened his eyes again, he lowered his head, still deeply pained, "Regardless, the guilt destroys me. And it will continue to do so, despite your attempts at your…blind reassurance."

"It's not _blind_ reassurance, Snape. I'm being genuine. As Lily's son…I _want_ to help. If my mother helped to keep you grounded, then allow me to do the same, "Harry leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees, as he looked away from Snape for any willing sign of resolve. He heard a sigh from the man, just as stubborn as he was, as they sat in a diffusing silence, hearing nothing else but the faint ticking of the small antique clock upon the mantle. Both were tired of the conflict. But Harry could see that his words were gradually getting through to him, even if this were taking longer than he anticipated. After a pause, Harry sighed, "Why _did_ you give me those memories? The personal ones. I mean, I know many of them were private..."

Snape pursed his lips, "It was the last plate in your armor – the last drive – to bring the Dark Lord down. You needed the _entire_ truth to do what needed to be done. Figuratively, I hadn't expected to survive beyond that."

There was another pause – they seemed to be doing that a lot lately – which Harry suspected now was there automatic way of biting back words that could potentially be devastating for both of them. Harry nodded in understanding. But he was sure it may be his attempt to diffuse the situation and redirect the conversation into something less stress-inducing, and they both knew that they were on a path that neither expected the other to travel on. It was a peculiar sort of fate. Here they were, once enemies, finally trusting the other enough with such sensitive information. Harry was so determined to understand Snape, and Snape although still bitter, cared enough to share things about Lily. If Dumbledore were here, he'd definitely be more than amused by this strange connection between two odd souls amidst an old feud.

"Speaking of those memories, I have to ask…" Harry drew in a deep breath, finally summoning the next bit of required courage for his next dreaded task, "How did you combat the curse? Dumbledore's. The memory you gave me…"

Snape's expression turned sombre once more, "It was never _combated_ , Potter. It was simply halted temporarily. The curse is irreversible."

"That potion you used – "

"- Will not work."

" _Why_?"

"Because it's missing a key ingredient, "Snape explained, "Fawkes's tears. As you know, that bird is long gone."

"You didn't keep any?"

"Phoenix tears must be fresh. They dissolve after a short duration of time, rendering them completely useless."

"Surely, there has got to be something else we can do?"

"The curse is designed to be fatal. It was passed on from one vessel to another."

_Wait did he just…?_

Perking up once again, Harry's brain began to reignite on a potential solution, "So that means, there will be a way to…send it back? Give it another vessel?"

"Tampering with a curse is _highly_ dangerous, Potter. I daresay if that has even been attempted before. That requires Dark magic, those of which I _forbid_ you to utilize at any cost. "

"We're not _creating_ a new curse, sir. We just want to, well… _shift_ it. That can't be Dark magic."

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, " _Stubborn_ Gryffindor. Do _not_ go and do something foolish. I refuse to allow you to risk your life on my accord. I didn't spend every year keeping you safe, only for you to run off and do something reckless that could potentially have you _killed_. I will not allow that!"

"I'm going to look into it, and we'll find a safe way, alright?" Harry pleaded, "I don't want to feel guilty for not trying hard enough."

Harry watched as Snape's eyes glossed over, but the man was consistent in remaining passive within his expression. He commended the man for not throwing him out this time by the scruff of his shirt or no exploding jars over his head. The cogs in Snape's mind were ticking; The Gryffindor could sense that by the way the man's breathing suddenly became shallow, and his eyes darted. If there was a way, Harry will find it, and he will make sure that he exhausts all of his options beyond his ability.

"Potter – "Snape's voice was deep, but he made every effort to convey Harry's name softly this time, rather than his usual commanding tone.

But Harry cut him off. "- You've been taking your antidote. That tells me more than I need to know. I'll leave you be." Harry rose up from the chair before exiting the room, gently shutting the door behind him.

The fact that Snape had managed to consume more of the antidote was satisfactory enough for the Gryffindor. That alone, told him that he intended to keep fighting, and with that small fact, Harry started to have hope once more.

If there was a way he could save this life, then he'll gladly do it.

Whatever it takes.


	22. Exit Wounds

* * *

**NOTES** : Get ready for things to be kicked waaaay up a few notches in the next few chapters!

* * *

CHAPTER 22: Exit Wounds

_Crafty Potter. He should have been a Slytherin._

Severus watched as Harry Potter exited his room, leaving him uttering a frustrated growl once he was alone once more. The boy was annoyingly persistent, he'd give him that.

He glanced over at the empty vials of the antidote by his bedside, and observing the remaining ones with deep thought. Perhaps he even surprised himself, that he was so willing to consume the other two this time, without further protests. As if he weren't thinking straight, and for once, not at the expense of a pleading Potter.

 _A pleading Potter._ Desperation? Desperate over the life of a miserable man, who Harry had actually convinced himself that he was worth saving? _He_ – Severus Tobias Snape. Why was he determined to consider that Severus' life was anything worth saving? He couldn't quite grasp that concept. What was it that the boy was expecting? He was so used to being his silent guardian – his _protector_ – that he didn't know how to be anything more. His work as a spy and a teacher _was_ his life, and without it, he was nothing. Just a mere shadow.

But Albus the old fool was right – Harry was far more engaging than Severus had convinced himself otherwise. He was so blinded by seeing the boy as his eleven-year-old self, that it was hard to grapple with the idea that he was far more mature than he originally presumed. Harry Potter was no longer the little boy curiously seeking the Philosopher's Stone, but now the teenage Chosen One, leading a rebellion, who destroyed the Horcrux's with extremely limited knowledge and defeated the darkest wizard of all time, while sacrificing himself to do so. The boy most definitely exceeded his expectations, even despite Severus' attempts to constantly undermine his ability out of habit and bitterness.

Now, Severus struggled to admit to himself that Harry Potter wasn't so terrible. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever envision spending any sliver of time with the Gryffindor. He allowed himself in his company so much more in the last three weeks, than he ever dared to in the seven years he had known him. Well, it was impossible for him to do so, previously. It was so easy to repel the boy during school, enough so that Harry made every effort to avoid him. It was easy to single the boy out and enforce his authority within his class. It was far too easy to force the boy to hate him.

But now – Harry admits that he no longer _hates_ him. Severus was unsure of how to feel about that. He was afraid he was growing soft, that maybe too much time with the boy, had caused him to perceive him differently. Harry was the first person to admit such a thing, and the feeling that Severus was no longer hated…made him feel vastly overwhelmed with emotions he never thought he was capable of displaying. He spent his entire life being hated and misunderstood, that the idea of anyone – _Potter_ , of all people – could even _consider_ forgiveness, of all things. To him.

He didn't deserve the boy's forgiveness. Or his kindness. Or his empathy. Not even Albus could express those virtues to him when he needed it the most. But _Potter_ …

He had been wrestling with his dormant emotions for so long, that he had immense difficulties coming to terms with what they were. For so long, he prevented himself from feeling anything that would be perceived as a weakness. He suppressed certain emotions for so long, that he forgot he still possessed them. Severus didn't consider it before, but he _did_ care. He cared about the boy's wellbeing. He cared enough to teach him. He cared enough to take the antidote, because deep down within his dark core, he didn't want to let him down now. This was his chance to make peace with his past, and this was his only opportunity to save what was left of his damaged soul.

He _had_ a reason to live now. He was too terrified to admit that maybe, Potter was his second chance after all. That maybe he _was_ too afraid to be alone. Or die alone. Perhaps retaliating against his old master wasn't the only noble thing he could do. Saving Potter – _Harry_ – For Lily, was the other. But not just for her this time. Saving Harry, would ultimately, save him too.

Severus just needed to learn to trust him.

The following morning was a quiet affair within Grimmauld Place and its occupants, and for the most part, Severus relished in the stillness that befell them all. Whilst Mr. Weasley was playing wizards chess with Potter in the living room, Miss Weasley and Granger were making use of their time at the Hogwarts library. Severus had spent most of that morning and afternoon tinkering away in the very minimal make-shift potions laboratory in the basement, trying to replenish an array of potions in case of an emergency. He was quite frustrated for the most part because their supplies were painfully dwindling, and Severus could only go so far to procure the ingredients himself. Despite that worry, he was thankful to have a room by himself that didn't involve any Gryffindor – or Ravenclaw – to intrude on his privacy.

The afternoon eventually turned to night, and he allowed the other occupants to share dinner among themselves without his presence. Severus usually felt uncomfortable dining with them, which resulted in requesting Kreacher to send up a meal to his room. It took him this long to finally succumb to the idea of hiding out at Grimmauld, of all places. It was going to take even longer for him to feel comfortable with the idea of dining with them during mealtimes. He was far from eager. Eventually, the students went back to their original tasks in order to kill time.

Feeling more than capable on his feet now, he wandered swiftly upstairs to the kitchen to find Neville Longbottom nursing a large mug of what Severus detected as tea, while sifting through an obnoxiously large magical tome. Besides the boy, was a small stack of books, and from what he could observe by the cover, they were a mixture of healing texts and herbology. He was far too engrossed on the book in front of him, to notice the Potions Master enter the room.

Severus eyed the boy curiously, as he poured himself a mug of tea, and snatched a mildly warm blueberry muffin from the center of the table, sitting down opposite to the boy, several seats down away from the boy's direct view. Finally allowing himself a clearer view of the distracted Gryffindor, Severus noticed a scar on the side of Neville's face, as a result of an altercation he heard of between him and Alecto Carrow several months ago. Severus kept his expression blank, but deep down, he felt a pang of guilt that physical harm had come to him.

"Light reading, Longbottom?" Severus' snarky baritone voice caused Neville to jump in his seat and almost spilling his tea, much to his anticipated amusement. He watched as Neville hastily shifted his mug away to prevent any further accidents, as he looked nervously up at the man.

"Oh…err, yeah…Just a little…Sir, "Neville shrugged, feeling slightly sheepish. The sudden company of the Potions Master was enough to startle him.

Masking his satisfied grin behind his mug of tea, he took a sip and placed it down in front of him. "Barely three weeks out of school, and you pick up a textbook? Admittedly, even I couldn't foresee that from you."

Neville gave a light laugh, "Well, I want to stay productive. It helps keep my mind off things."

"A wise decision," "Severus nudged his head towards the book, "What are you reading?"

"Oh, I'm just reading up on the Wiggentree, "Neville shrugged, "Just trying to learn what I can with Herbology. It's not like I learned much else this year, besides trying to defend the school from the Carrows. This is a nice change."

Severus furrowed his brow, "Noble efforts, Longbottom. Noble, yet incredibly _foolish_."

"We did what we had to, sir. If we knew you were on our side, we could have done things a little differently. But I don't regret what we did." Neville was confident in his response, and Severus really did silently commend him for that, "Though, sorry for trying to steal the sword."

"Again, a very foolish idea. It would have been too great of a risk to lose that sword and _jeopardize_ my mission, "Severus drew in a breath, "Regrettably, I had to play my part enough to be convincing. To both the DA and the Carrows. I cou – "

Quickly, Neville interjected the Professor, "– I know. Your hands were tied. I understand now. But what's done is done. We can't change that."

Severus lifted his head, curious of how Neville Longbottom suddenly grew into his own. Surely, he wasn't the same timid, bumbling idiot he taught in first year? The same boy who stupidly bought his toad to Potions class in his third year. The same boy who melted his own cauldron. The same boy who had his boggart turn into him during Remus' absurd Defence class, which Severus was begrudgingly well aware. The same boy who left his Gryffindor common room passwords lying around amidst the infiltration of Black. The same boy who couldn't brew a simple Potion by himself, without disastrous effects. Instead, he never imagined him to take a stand, lead a rebellious group within Death Eater hold, and was willing to endure torture to save other students. Surely, that could not have been the same boy?

Regardless, Severus was pleased that perhaps, education wasn't lost on him after all.

Severus stared at the boy, still perplexed by his sudden transformation. With careful consideration, and for once in his life, cut the boy some slack, "Your leadership is…admirable. "

A smile tweaked on the corners of the boy's face, "Thanks, sir. That means a lot coming from you."

"Regardless, never stop learning, "With a curt nod, Severus withdrew his wand, and with a small flick, the magical tome Neville was reading, immediately slid all the way across the table away from his reach. Neville recoiled back, not expecting it, and frowned at the man. Satisfied by the response, Severus raised his eyebrow almost mockingly, "Now tell me, Longbottom - What is the etymology of the Wiggentree?"

Neville hesitated for a moment, as Severus noticed slight panic within his face. But he quickly composed himself and clicked his fingers several times in a bid to jog his memory, "Err, the Wiggentree is a magical rowan tree, which derives from the folk name of 'wicken tree'."

"Primary use?"

"Protection against dark creatures and is used as ingredients in potions, "Neville barely came up for breath, as he fired off an answer.

"What creatures usually guard it?"

"Bowtruckles, sir."

"What potion is it best known for, and what elements are used as ingredients?"

"Err…The bark and twigs are used in the Wiggenward – "

"- Wiggen- _weld_."

"Yeah, Wiggenweld potion, "Neville winced at his small blunder, "That's the one. A healing potion, and an antidote to Sleeping Draught, and Draught of Living Death. So…did I pass?"

Keeping his usual passive expression, Severus raised his eyebrow ever so subtly, " _Acceptable_."

Neville sat up straight in his chair, clearly quite pleased with himself, "Fantastic, sir!"

"Don't be too _pleased_ with yourself, Longbottom. I'll quiz you on something else tomorrow, "Severus responded, a little too smugly as he watched the color drain from Longbottom's face, but just as he opened his mouth to speak again, a wisp of white light materialised beside him, taking the form of a housecat Severus immediately recognised as Minerva's Patronus.

The cat danced around the table, until it sat down directly in front of Severus, boring its ethereal misty white eyes at his black ones as it conveyed her message with her voice, _"Severus. A word if you please. Shrieking Shack would be ideal."_ Once the Patronus's message was delivered, it disappeared like smoke into nothingness.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on things here," Neville offered.

Nodding once at Longbottom, Severus slowly pushed himself up from the table, despite the mild throbbing pain in his neck, he made his way to exit the room. Bounding out of Grimmauld Place, he Disapparated beyond the wards, directly into the Shrieking Shack where Minerva was waiting patiently for him.

"…Minerva", Severus bowed his head, respectively.

"Apologies for pulling you away at this hour, Severus, "Minerva sat down against the armrest of the old couch and clasped her hands over her lap neatly.

"No matter. Everything alright?"

Minerva nodded, "Oh, yes. Don't be alarmed. In all honesty, I was hoping for any updates you may have since I saw you yesterday."

Severus gently shook his head, "Nothing new to report. I've heard no further updates as of yet."

"…How's Mr. Potter handling things?"

Pausing upon mention upon the boy's name, Severus clasped his hands in front of him, slightly fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve, "…Managing."

Minerva's face fell once she was able to read the man's face. Years of comradery with him was enough to indicate that his voice wavered with concern, "Oh, _Severus_. I could tell when I saw him yesterday, he looked…" She shook her head sadly, "Anything you'd like me to do for you?"

"Nothing at all. Potter and I have been…Speaking."

"…Oh?"

Severus' eyes shifted focus, "…On civil terms."

Minerva gave an exasperated sigh, "Well, I'm _relieved_ to hear it. I _don't_ want to see you both arguing again. Merlin forbid, you've known the boy for years."

"It's a work in progress. If I'm to be housebound in the _same_ location as Potter, then it is necessary for one's sanity."

Minerva smirked, "I'm sure it's more than necessary. You treat the boy like a menace. He's come a long way; I hope you know."

"Haven't we all?" Severus drew in a deep breath and took a seat at the couch. He was almost tempted to tell her about his injury, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It took every ounce of strength to mask the throbbing pain within his wounds, but even still. He couldn't bear to tell her the truth. Not yet. That was another worry for another day.

Minerva's face crinkled in concern, "You've dealt with a lot, Severus. I can't imagine how _you_ must be coping with everything."

Severus frowned at the woman, "There is…a measure of relief not to have to report to the Dark Lord anymore. "

"Then _why_ are you still insistent on addressing him that way? It's Vol-"

"- _NO_ , Minerva. It's so easy for everyone else to say his name, but when you've had to report directly to his _face_ for years…" Severus closed his eyes briefly, wishing that he didn't have to deal with such a thing that others may perceive as meaningless. To him, it was so ingrained into his being, that he felt like he'd be punished again for not addressing him by his own title. Still, he refused to be that careless. He still hadn't fully convinced himself that his old master was truly gone.

"That part of your life is over now. Surely there are other worries worth investing your energy in."

Severus opened his eyes, to glance at Minerva's comforting ones, as he nodded, "Of course."

"I think it's rather admirable that you are still persistent on protecting Potter. I was adamant that you were keen to flee…after everything."

"The danger is still very real now, Minerva. I will protect the boy for as long as I am able. Besides, I am not such a coward." Severus averted his gaze away, knowing that he struck a chord with the woman.

Minerva's face fell, knowing full well it was her who ushered such words to the man before her, "No, you most certainly are not. Please don't take this the wrong way, Severus, but he is lucky to have you."

Severus frowned at the woman, "I am _only_ protecting him. Nothing more."

"If you insist, "The elderly witch tilted her head at Severus, "Albus keeps asking about you."

"His requests of me now, are _useless_."

"You'll have to face him at some point, you know."

Severus scoffed, "I _most_ certainly will not. I'm no longer obliged to attend to such a task."

She threw her hands up, "Good _heavens_ , your stubbornness is enough to land you in Gryffindor."

Severus looked offended by that comment, "I highly beg to differ."

"Just try and make the effort, if you please? "Suddenly startled, she stood up from her perch, with her line of sight passing just over his left shoulder, "Oh -"

Closely following her distracted gaze, Severus stood up and turned on his heel to find the corporeal form of a feline Patronus phasing through the wall of the Shrieking Shack, and materialising before them. They both watched as the ghost-like creature bounded through the air, and settled between them, but it faced Minerva at it moved to relay a message. It was a Lynx, casted by Minister Shacklebolt.

 _"Minerva - There has been an attack. Dark Mark spotted at Godrics Hollow. Several casualties thus far. Reinforcements required immediately."_ And with that disheartening message, the Patronus vanished.

Stunned by the message, Minerva turned to Severus, eyes wide with concern, "Go back to Grimmauld Place _immediately_. _Stay_ with Mr. Potter! I'll round up Arthur, Filius, and -"

"- Minerva – "

"- Don't _argue_ with me, Severus! Now. GO!"

Clenching his jaw, he turned on his heel and Disapparated away, reappearing back at the park across from Grimmauld Place. Barely waiting for his smoky form to completely solidify, he darted swiftly across the street and burst through the front doors, ignoring the angry protests from Mrs. Black's portrait.

Severus made a beeline to the kitchen but found it empty, all except for the stack of Herbology textbooks Longbottom had been sifting through earlier. The previously occupied chair was found toppled to the floor. Slow panic was arising within Severus' chest, as he began to race up the old staircase to the first floor, ignoring the persistent throbbing of the wound on his neck, as he entered the sitting room.

"POTTER!" The room was empty. The half-played chess set was lying on the small table between the single sofas in the corner of the room, unoccupied by neither Potter nor Weasley. Severus withdrew his wand, as a breath caught in his throat. Abandoning that room, he raced back out and began the ascent of the stairs to the upper floors. He hastily checked each room as he passed, but there was no sign of Potter and his cohorts anywhere.

"POTTER! _Answer_ me!"

Dread rose up in the pit of his stomach when he realised that they must have stupidly run off to Godrics Hollow, however, he was unsure of how they were signaled in the first place. Kingsley would have avoided getting Potter involved, as he knew he was a target. So surely, the message would not have come from him. The only thing that came to mind, was another member of the DA rebellion group had beaten him to it. Perhaps one of them alerted the others? Too many questions ran through Severus' mind, but his first priority was to find Potter.

Finally reaching Potter's room, his suspicions had been confirmed. Neither of them was present when he discovered this room to also be vacant. Growling in frustration, Severus entered the room, and quickly scanned the contents he could see, until his eyes rested upon the Gryffindor's Invisibility Cloak. Leaving the premises onto public ground was an incredible risk to the elusive Potions Master unless he was absolutely careful. Surely Potter wouldn't mind if he borrowed it again for the time being. He couldn't risk getting caught.

Swapping his traveling cloak for the Invisibility Cloak, he burst out of Grimmauld Place with his wand clutched tightly in his hand, swinging the Cloak over himself, and Apparated away as soon as he was ready. Reappearing by the small pathway behind St. Jerome's Church within the village, he hunched down beside the building, scanning the area, and calculating his next move. Immediately, he could hear yelling and screams a few streets away.

Godrics Hollow. Being here was enough to make Severus utterly repulsed with himself. He had not been here in almost seventeen years since the very night the Dark Lord proceeded to eliminate the Potter's. That fateful night, which forever brought a chill to the man's heart whenever he was reminded of his actions. On that night, Severus' Dark Mark had faded, immediately indicating to him that something had happened. Upon word that his then-master had done the terrible deed, Severus had immediately fled to this very village and bared witness to the aftermath of the cottage in which the Potter's were supposed to be protected in. Hiding in the shadows once more, he had watched helplessly as Muggle and magical folk flocked to the scene and the destruction that befell them. Overhearing enough of the crowd, was enough to tell him that all was lost.

Lily. Gone... _Dead_. Because of him, and that fatal mistake…

NO! No…It was that pathetic, filthy excuse for a rat. Wormtail! HE betrayed them!

Severus' heart began to race against the turmoil of his mind. Being here sparked too much self-fuelled anger and regret. He directed his gaze upwards to find the familiar Dark Mark plastered across the clear, starry sky. The green glow of the Mark was enough to cast an eerie illumination of emerald light across the small village, which made Severus recoil in distaste. Instinctively, he reached for his left forearm, where his own Dark Mark was etched into his skin. Another painful reminder.

Tightening the hold of the Cloak around him, he pressed forward, being careful to take silent steps to mask his position. He had to avoid being caught by an Auror at all costs. That, or being ratted out by an Order member who was still very disapproving of his actions. Both of which were highly likely to occur at this point. His trust in anyone ran very thin, but his main priority was to keep Potter safe, and that's what he intended to do.

As he edged forward, the voices of those in battle grew louder. But upon his line of sight, he saw an unmoving form of someone hidden away beside a garden hedge on the pathway to the village center. Severus examined the area quickly, and once he deemed it safe enough, approached the victim cautiously with his wand at the ready. It appeared to be a deceased middle-aged man, sprawled onto the dirt, tangled up in a mess of navy and purple robes. Blood seeped through his robes and saturated the ground underneath him. His ivory-colored wand lay inches away from his hand, which was also covered in blood. He wasn't sure if it was an Auror or another magical bystander who tried to help, but the sight was still unnerving.

People thought that Severus Snape was a foul, sadistic creature, who took pleasure in seeing harm come to others. No. Not this. Even this was enough to make Severus feel repulsed.

Abandoning the poor victim, he turned on his heel, and headed straight for the village center, keeping himself close to the old cobblestone fences as he went. Once he saw movement up ahead, he stopped in his tracks as two dueling figures came darting furiously into view. The unmistaken voice of Miss Granger was one of the two, which left the other either a Death Eater, rogue Snatcher, or simply a Dark Lord supporter. In retrospect, not all of the Dark Lord's followers were Death Eaters. Whoever he could round up, was sufficient enough. As long as no Dementors were present, this would be could easily dealt with.

Severus watched Granger fall back behind a cobblestone fence, as the opposition advanced at her with explosive spells, whilst the Gryffindor tried to deflect them as best she could with an array of shield charms. Wasting no more time, the Potions Master bolted towards the pair and raised his wand, flicking it in a powerful downwards motion, causing the ground under the Death Eater's feet to explode, hurling him backward onto his backside. The enemy scrambled to his feet, looking wildly around for his invisible attacker, as he made his move to retrieve his wand meters away. Without a click too late, Severus flourished his wand again, sending a jet of blue tendrils of magic to the man's chest, knocking him out instantly. Granger jumped back up onto her feet to the now-disarmed man and conjured up ropes to finally bind him.

Once she was done, she extended her wand out in front of her defensively, looking around for the person responsible.

"Calm yourself, Miss Granger, "Severus stood a short distance beside her, "Are you injured?"

Looking relieved at the familiar voice, Granger answered breathlessly, "Oh, _good_. I suspected it was you, but I wasn't sure… _Yes_ , I am alright. "

"I presumed you were at Hogwarts? _Where_ is Potter?"

The Gryffindor bit her lip, knowing full well they once again, defied orders, "Hannah Abbott's family lives here. She alerted Neville, he alerted us, and well…we ran to help. Once we Apparated here, it was complete chaos. Everyone sort of…dispersed. Harry ran off somewhere, and I was occupied with… _this_ one. He was leading me away. I couldn't get back to them -"

Severus growled, "- Of _course_ he did. That's what they do when they have intentions to kidnap. They lead you away, leaving you defenseless without an ally."

The color drained from Granger's face, soon realising her close call, "Oh."

"Re-join the others. I must proceed to the city center at once – "Without a further response, Severus ran off away from Granger, in his frantic bid to find Potter.

However, he didn't pursue further enough, when suddenly, one of the cottages beside him burst into flames, and several figures bolted out of the residence, frightened for their lives. One of them brandished a wand – a young woman – with two younger children at her side. Another man followed closely behind her but turned back to the house in a desperate bid to douse the flames with his own wand. With the attacker nowhere to be seen, Severus wasn't quick enough as he watched the house crumble like burning matchsticks, flames consuming the residence as quick as it caught alight. The family was visibly unharmed, and that provided its own measure of relief for him. Ignoring the rising guilt of not staying, he pursued quickly onwards, trying desperately to ignore the wailing cries of the children behind him. The children and their parents were safe, and that's all that mattered.

As he reached a crossroads, he saw more familiar faces up ahead. A group duel – Three verses four others; The four were wearing Death Eater masks. The ones dueling them were fierce. Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Hannah Abbott. One of the Death Eaters sent Thomas flying backward, only for a steady stream of flames - unmistakably exuding from Finnigan's wand – which hit the same Death Eater square in the chest. Severus waited as Mr. Thomas rolled in a sitting position, only to be nursing a fresh head injury as observed by droplets on blood cascading down his head. Once he took notice of their predicament, Severus headed towards them with his wand raised above his head.

' _REDUCTO_!' Casting non-verbally, he watched as his spell caught all four off-guard, however barely catching two of them, as they were whisked off their feet. Both Abbott and Finnigan looked around, confused, but once they realised they gained the upper hand due to their unknown ally, they continued to disarm their foes without further harm. Two of the four Death Eaters had since fled, and presumably, Apparated to safety. Severus couldn't afford to stick around, but he had hope that Abbott would attend to Thomas's injuries. From what he knew, both she and Longbottom had been volunteering at St. Mungos to aid the injured from the Battle of Hogwarts, so Severus was confident that would be able to handle it from there.

Leaving that group, he darted off in pursuit of the elusive Potter. The longer he was unable to detect his location, the more worried he became. He tried to convince himself that he was fine and holding his own. As he ran down street after street, it became more and more difficult to evade curious eyes and wary combatants, as he tried to remain undetected under the Cloak. The closer he edged to the village center, the more people he encountered. He did manage to spot Dolohov once again, but this time he was accompanied by one other, both who seemed to be dueling both Mr. Weasley and Longbottom. They were in an awkward location that Severus could not get to, but as he ducked behind a hedge, he watched as they fought.

Severus couldn't help but be pleased by the strength his students have now grown into. Although he fought side by side with Potter and his friends in the Forbidden Forest, the infiltration of Grimmauld Place, and his own residence, this was the first time he truly stopped to observe them. During his forced reign as Headmaster, he could not be directly involved, thus often left the Carrows to their own devices. But now, he could truly see those students fight with fierceness and confidence he was unable to bear witness to before.

And he couldn't help but feel immense pride.

Smirking underneath the Cloak, he waited behind the hedge and scanned the area before he proceeded. He had a closer view of the village center now, and his breath caught in his throat. From his skewed view, he could see approximately thirty allied combatants all dueling the opposition in slightly decreased numbers. He could see the bodies of some of the fallen victims scattered around, but he could not be certain if they were alive, nor even who they belonged to. Severus glanced to his right to see Filius against two others. Several meters behind them, was Lovegood dueling another, sporting a bloodstained jacket, who he could only hope didn't belong to her. In the far distance on the other side, he could see a few of the Aurors he recognised who was previously stationed at Hogwarts, whom he could only presume was re-directed at Godrics Hollow by Minerva.

But _still_ , no sign of Potter.

As he watched Katie Bell and Lee Jordon attempt to pursue a single Death Eater to his left side, Severus thought he finally caught sight of the reflection of Potter's glasses.

But it was not until a single explosion blasted from one of the buildings to his far-right, sent a shockwave through the village, knocking Severus completely off on his feet. He fell forward, missing a crumbled stone piece by mere inches from his skull, as he landed in a heap, tangled up the Cloak. Amidst the ringing in his ear from the noise of the blast, he could hear distorted screams in the distance from those struggling to convey what they had just witnessed. Severus let out a small groan, as he was hit by a stabbing pain in his neck, feeling fresh blood slowly weeping through the bandage once again. Severus clutched the Cloak, as he slowly pushed himself up off the ground, wincing at the new pain in his left wrist. He must have landed on it when he was knocked off his feet. He looked around wildly on the ground around him, sighing in relief when he found his wand several paces away.

Feeling slightly dazed and confused, Severus steadied him on his feet, as finally looked around to get a good look at the fresh destruction around him. A building a street forward from Severus was up in flames leaving nothing in its wake. Thick black smoke billowed from what was left of its structure, but as he could see, several surrounding houses around it were hit collectively. Magical and Muggle houses were definitely in the line of fire, and his breath caught in his throat hoping above all else, that there were no fatalities.

_POTTER! Where the bloody hell are you?!_

The entire right side of the village centre was covered in burning rubble, and damage far from an easy repair. Edging forward slowly, he did his best to carefully tread through the rubble, looking around for any victims within his reach. Through the smoke, he can make out a few figures slowly collecting themselves up off the ground and looking around for their former allies. As Severus pressed forward, he saw a crumbled female form, as her brunette hair cascaded around her face. He walked closer, and as he could carefully see, despite the ash and dirt that skewed her face, he was able to identify as Katie Bell. He raced to her side, and immediately checked for vital signs. With great relief, he discovered she was alive.

Her breathing appeared labored, and her left leg was twisted among the rubble, with a significant flesh wound. Using his wand, Severus carefully brushed her blood-soaked hair away from her face, to reveal a nasty gash from her ear to chin. Miss Bell started to stir and let out a pained groan as she began to awaken. Amongst the smoke of the ruins around him, he dropped down the Cloak over his head so that she could see his face. Despite her previous opinions of him, he had to let her know that he meant no harm.

Miss Bell finally opened her eyes, and let out a small gasp, before her face contorted in pain once again.

"Shhh, don't move," Severus lowered his voice to a calming whisper, and he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Be still. You have sustained a serious leg injury. It appears to be broken."

"…What happened?" The young woman looked frightened.

"I'm afraid I do not know, Miss Bell, "Severus moved his wand over the gash on her face, ushering a healing spell as he did so, as the wound began to mend itself. He started to remove pieces of rubble around Katie's leg, to reveal the full severity of her injury, causing Severus to furrow his brow in concern. Hovering his wand, a small jet of blue light that illuminated her leg, began to reveal the damaged skeletal structure. It was a clean break sustained to her femur.

Severus looked to the woman, "I cannot move you until I mend the bone. This will -"

"- Just, get it over with – "Katie grimaced, as she braced herself, "Please."

He raised his wand, and flourished it over her leg, " _Femora_ _Emendo_." With a sickening crunch and small yelp from the woman, her fractured bones melted back together. As he sealed the wounds as best he could, he conjured up bandages and allowed it to wrap around securely over her leg, to support it following the mend. He turned to her, "Can you attempt to stand?"

Katie Bell scowled, "I'll try. Years of being pummelled in Quidditch, gives one a high tolerance."

Gently pulling her back onto her feet, he watched as she limped on her still-injured leg, and guided her towards a safer area, and away from the rubble.

"Thank you…sir, "The young woman winced as she sat down, but gratefully looked up at the Professor, "I'll be fine here." She then shook her head sadly, "I'm so sorry. About the other day at the meeting…I was just shocked. I shouldn't have -"

"- No _matter_ , Miss Bell, "Clutching his sprained wrist, Severus frowned, "I must go tend to the wounded." Turning on his heel, he sprinted off, quickly throwing the Cloak back over his head as he left.

Severus did his best to navigate through some of the rubble undetected, but there was so much more activity now that some of the smoke had started to settle. He watched as Aurors attended to their injured comrades, and some of the magical residents comforted some of their own amongst their shock. There were many wounded. Severus turned his attention to the village centre, and he noticed some of the wounded gathering there for safety. He scanned their faces, but still no sign of Harry Potter. He stopped, and turned around, scanning the area for any sign of him, but with no success.

As he walked closer to the village center, something else caught his attention. There was a large square-shaped garden marking the center of Godrics Hollow, with pathways, and stone benches, and flowerbeds blooming with the seasonal flora. Pink carnations, orchids, and gardenias to name a few. But that was not what averted Severus' gaze. In the very center, was a large stone monument – a statue. He had heard stories but could never bring himself to see it. The statue itself was of three figures. The Potter family; a testament and memorial for the night that family was torn apart that fateful Halloween night. The statue displayed James and Lily, with a baby Harry sitting on his mother's lap.

It was said to have a Muggle-repelling charm imbued upon it, giving it an illusion of a war-memorial obelisk to non-magical eyes. Only witches and wizards were able to see it.

He glanced at the James likeness of the statue and twisted his face in pure disgust. To Severus, no act of nobility from his past tormentor could erase the pain he created within his life. Hogwarts was supposed to be a place Severus could feel at home in. Instead, his tormentor made it a personal hell.

There was a reason Severus never wanted to return here.

The moment he looked upon the immortalised face of the Lily-likeness, he fell to his knees. Anguished and pained, he lowered his head, as he tightened his grip on the Invisibility Cloak completely masking the broken man underneath.

He truly deserved to be punished for what he did.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE** : Apologies for the crazy chapter! Another chapter that I could not seem to end and didn't want to rush through it. So, I basically ended up cutting it into two and changing POVs, and thus, events will continue in the following chapter. Another side note, which I'll explain more in detail at the end of the next chapter - Some of Severus' negative traits has emerged a little more in this chapter. I made that decision, as I feel Snape still has a long way to go in breaking free of those 'old habits', so at times you will still find him a little ruthless in certain scenarios, but still driven by that one goal.

Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed the madness so far!


	23. Shards of Glass

* * *

**NOTE** : Just a little amusing note…Sorry in advance for the slightly more-than-usual mild swearing below. You'll see why it's necessary **grins**

* * *

CHAPTER 23: Shards of Glass

There was no plan. No inkling of a strategy. Just all hands-on deck once they arrived at Godrics Hollow, of all places to be.

It was only shy of seven o'clock that night when Neville had received a startling message from Hannah, as she notified him of a Death Eater attack at the village where they lived. Once Neville warned the others, it was complete chaos from there. Harry made use of the charmed master DA coin and signaled to the others in hope that they would hear the call. That wasn't even a debate. Once Hermione and Ginny hastily responded to the distress call, they appeared back at Grimmauld Place from their excursion to the Hogwarts library, delivering a stack of books in their attempt to find a solution for Snape. However, there really was no other time to waste, and Harry didn't even give it a second thought as the five of them raced out of Grimmauld Place and Apparated directly into the village. Almost immediately, they were fired upon.

A jet of red whirled past Harry's head, as he rolled to the side, hitting the floor. He watched as a masked silver-masked Death Eater advanced on them, but Ron fired a Hex back and knocking him right off his feet.

Ron extended his hand, to help Harry up, "You alright?"

Back on his feet, Harry clutched his wand tightly in his hand, "Yeah, I'm fine." He looked around, as Hermione, Ginny, and Neville quickly convened around them. They heard yells and screams in the distance. " _Quickly_ , let's go!" Without wasting another second, the group burst into a run towards the strained voices they could hear, trying to take in the situation at hand as everything happened so fast.

A billow of smoke appeared on Harry's left, and three Death Eaters Apparated and immediately advanced to fire, completely catching them off-guard.

" _PROTEGO_!" Harry fired off a Shield charm, repelling one of the spells from the opposition. Another curse flew by, exploding the cobblestone ground from beneath their feet. He heard Ron yell out a string of profanities, as both Ron and Ginny were completely knocked off their feet by a stray curse. Hermione hit back with a non-verbal _Reducto_ , giving them a taste of their own medicine as the spell found its target. One Death Eater was knocked out cold, leaving two more advancing on them once more. Once Ron and Ginny clambered back up onto their feet, Neville threw himself in front of the pair.

"OI POTTER! A little rusty, are we?" One of the Death Eaters threw back a sniggering laugh.

"Oh, sod off!" Ron yelled.

Seething, Harry swung his wand arm furiously over his head as he fired, " _INCENDIO_!" A powerful jet of flames hit the second Death Eater in the chest, sending his robes on fire as he flew backward. Harry watched as he scrambled to douse the flames with a water charm, but the remaining Death Eater was eager to finish one of them off. Once he could see that he was far outnumbered, he Disapparated away with his wounded comrade, leaving behind the unconscious one.

"Well, at least we got one, "Neville shrugged, looking over at the fallen opponent, "I'm going on ahead, and see who needs help."

"Neville, I'll go with you, mate!" Ron offered. Harry watched as both Neville and Ron darted off towards the village center.

Hermione cast _Incarcerous_ , bounding the remaining enemy in magical ropes. Tilting her head, he watched as she picked up the fallen wand at his side. She looked back up at Harry's puzzled face, "…Well, you _can't_ expect me to leave it here."

"We've done enough wand theft for the year. What's another one?" Harry responded.

Satisfied with their capture, Harry took off on his heel once again, with the remaining Hermione and Ginny by his side. As they passed several more streets, more familiar faces came into view, leaving Harry feeling relieved that they weren't alone here. They passed Dean, Seamus, and Hannah dueling against their own enemies, in what appeared to be an even match. But they pressed on forward once they saw them handling that situation without them.

However, something burst into flames beside the trio. Startled by the noise, Harry and his friends turned to find a house caught on fire and witnessed a black-robed figure dart away from the scene. Hermione immediately burst into a run after the culprit, despite Harry's verbal protests after her, but she was long gone, leaving Harry and Ginny to try and douse the flames with a water charm. In their collective effort, they were able to extinguish what they could, when Harry immediately burst through the hot, burnt front door. Ignoring the sprayed embers, he looked around for any sign of life. Ginny followed closely behind him, recognising Harry's intention.

"Harry!" Ginny called out to Harry, " _Please_ be careful! This place is going to collapse any minute!"

Frantic, Harry responded, "I _know_ , but – Someone might be hurt in here."

They took a few minutes to rummage through what was left of the building when Harry stopped to find a fallen figure sprawled on the floor in what was once a sitting room. Harry's stomach lurched at the sight of the extensive burns this person had, but they were too horribly disfigured to identify. They were unmoving, without a breath. Lifeless. They couldn't be saved. He wasn't even sure if they were Muggles, or not. There was no wand to be seen. Ginny clasped his shoulder, knowing too well they were too late for this poor soul.

Suddenly, they heard a small whimper on the other side of the room. Harry turned to find an unburned section of the damaged rubble being shifted. Turning to each other in shock, Harry and Ginny raced over and began to shift away what they could. Eventually, they uncovered a young child, buried under the rubble. The child appeared to have a few burns to his arms, and legs, and a few cuts from the collapsed wall, but he was alive. Immediately, Harry picked up the child, as he and Ginny raced back out of the house, in time to see half of the house collapse from the extensive damage.

Taking the child to a short distance away, Harry placed the frightened little boy on the unsinged grass, but the child was too scared to pull away. Ginny and Harry tried desperately to peel away the clothing around the boy's burns on his arms and legs, as they conjured soaked bandages to cover them. Once they managed it enough, Harry knelt on the grass beside him, with his arm gently around the boy's shoulders, as Ginny stood anxiously on guard. Terrified, the boy clasped Harry's clothes like a lifeline.

"What's your name?" Harry asked the boy, who appeared to be about five or six years old.

The boy whimpered again, likely still shocked to cry. He peered up at Harry's face under his messy ash blonde hair, furrowing his brows in thought, "Um…Um…My name. Elias. "

Harry tried to offer up a comforting smile to the young boy with intense blue eyes, "Nice to meet you Elias. My name is Harry. We are going to keep you safe. I promise -"

"- Harry," Ginny watched as another figure ran over to them, with their wand to their side. The woman looked familiar, "- Hey, is that one of the Aurors stationed at Hogwarts?"

Curious, Harry squinted his eyes to get a better look through the smoke emanating from the house. It was one of the female Aurors, with wavy blonde hair. She appeared in her mid-thirties and sporting a slightly torn dark purple dress coat, with some remnants of what was left of the silver sequins along its hem.

"Mr. Potter? Oh, brilliant, you're alright, "The annoyingly perky Auror took a sullen glance at the destroyed house behind them, and back at the little boy huddled with Harry, "Oh dear."

"One person inside didn't make it. I don't know if they were Muggles…" Harry looked worried, "You're one of the Aurors the Minister sent to Hogwarts, yeah?"

She nodded, "Yes, yes. I am Dawn Rheingold. The Minister sent word for a few of those in our squad to investigate. Let me tell you, I didn't expect this. What an absolute mess!"

"Is anyone else hurt?" Ginny asked.

Worried, she bit her lip, "A few of my own have been injured. One dead. However, we did manage to capture two Death Eaters, so there's that."

Harry slowly rose up off the ground, with Elias still clutching tightly to his side. "I have to find my friends. Have you seen any of the other Hogwarts students?"

She shook her head, "I'm afraid not. Well, I didn't really have time to look. Though I did see Professor Flitwick – I think that's his name – Somewhere near the cemetery. It's been chaos since I got here. "She beckoned to them, "Come on, let's get you to safety. We have a make-shift Infirmary already…"

Harry looked at Ginny, as they both followed the Auror down the street. Some persistent tugging by Elias, told Harry that he didn't want to walk anymore. So, without further protest, Harry picked up the boy and held him up against his left side as they continued forth. He couldn't have felt more awkward by this point, and he tried his best to avoid the small grin by Ginny beside him.

They passed down several more streets, avoiding stray spells from the duels within their view. Eventually, they spotted Luna running after another Death Eater in the distance, but they were too far away to call out to her. Ginny made a move to run after her, but the Auror blocked her exit, raising her wand as a blockage.

"You _must_ stay close!" Dawn warned Ginny.

Ginny angrily turned to face her, "She needs help!"

"She'll be – "

Within that very second, suddenly a huge deafening blast exploded in front of them, knocking them all off several meters off their feet. Harry clutched Elias tightly as they toppled over, and he watched as Ginny flew further behind. A painful ringing in his ear induced a new kind of headache, as pain ravaged through his entire body. The wind entirely knocked out of him, as he became extremely disorientated to what just happened.

Then there was an eerie silence as the world seemed to stand still.

His vision was blurry; He wasn't quite certain if he had simply lost his glasses or he knocked his head somewhere. The pounding in his head was too great, and all of a sudden, a shooting pain hit his right shoulder. Did he land on it? He could barely process anything at this point. His wand…Where was his wand?! Harry groaned as he tried to push himself up. His right arm was incredibly weak, almost feeling like dead weight. His vision was still blurry; He slapped his left hand to his face and realised that he did indeed lose his glasses. He felt around the ground, feeling the jagged edges of glass shards pierce his skin until he felt the familiar hilt of his wand.

 _YES_!

Clasping his wand with relief, he summoned his glasses. Once repaired, he put them back on his face to survey the scene around them.

From what he could see, a few houses in front of them had completely exploded. The force of the blast hit surrounding buildings, enough to knock them all off their feet. Once his vision became clearer, he looked around for Ginny and the little boy he promised to protect. But he could see neither of them.

"Ginny...Elias…" His voice was dry and hoarse. His heart pumped in overdrive, anxious, and worried. Clutching his pained right shoulder, he turned around and squinted behind to see something moving under the rubble. A mass of wavy blonde hair indicated to him that it was the Auror that was with him. But, something about her looked different. He watched as she slowly clambered to her knees, wand shaking beside her, as she eyed the unconscious injured forms of Ginny and Elias close within her vicinity. She seemed oblivious to Harry at this point. But Harry could see both Ginny and Elias, who were still breathing, which caused him to breathe a sigh of relief.

But everything that followed happened so quickly, that Harry barely had a chance to react.

Finally, the Auror looked at Harry with her hazel eyes; an odd gleam of victory and malicious intent that immediately set off alarm bells in Harry's brain. The closer Harry could see, the less the Auror resembled Dawn Rheingold. A breath caught in his throat, as he froze.

Polyjuice potion -

 _NO_!

In a split second, the Auror impersonator picked up little Elias off the ground, Disapparated and reappeared at Ginny's side, only to soon Apparate quickly away, leaving Harry shocked to his core as he sat alone.

_No. No, no…NO!_

Harry sat there, unmoving. Blinking heavily, trying to clear his vision once more. He wasn't entirely sure that he is saw correctly. She took them. The Auror…Or what he thought was the Auror. She took them both. Ginny, and the little boy he intended to keep safe. Slamming down his left fist on the ground in front of him, he let out a scream of frustration.

How could he have been so stupid?!

Once Harry was able to finally pull himself up off his feet, he stumbled over to the spot where Ginny was laying. There on the ground was her wand. He picked it up and twirled it within his hands as if by a miracle, she'd reappear, and all will be okay. Why didn't she take him instead? It could have been easy to kill him then and there, and yet by some twisted intention, she chose to take Ginny and the poor little boy frightened out of his mind. Was she trying to break him? Was that the plan? Laughing at the weakened Chosen One, so consumed by his inner turmoil already, that it'll be more fun to watch him slowly destroy himself? Harry yelled out again and kicked a piece of rubble out of anger.

"HARRY!"

Harry turned around to find Ron and Hermione running towards him, both looking as worse for wear as he was. They appeared to have been caught in the blast as well. But as they arrived by his side, the expression on Harry's face told them that something was horribly wrong.

"Harry, what is it? What _happened_?" Hermione asked, breathlessly.

Still seething in anger, he clutched tightly over his injured shoulder, "They took her. They _bloody_ took her!"

"Who took who? What are you on about?" Ron asked.

" _Ginny_ , Ron! They bloody took her!"

"Say what?!" Ron's eyes widened in shock, " _Who_ took her?!"

"We were tricked. Ginny and I went to save a kid in a burning house. One of the Aurors from Hogwarts came to our aid, to take us somewhere safe…AH! I'M SO STUPID!" Harry bit his lip, trying to best to contain his anger, but it clearly wasn't working.

Hermione furrowed her brow, shaking her head in disbelief, "But why would she – "

"Polyjuice potion, Hermione. When we got hit by the blast, I saw her face change. But she took Ginny and the kid, and Disapparated. I wasn't able to see her real face."

Ron raised his hand up to his head, "Where on earth are they taking these people?! So what, they are impersonating Aurors now? What's the bet that the ones at Hogwarts aren't the real ones?"

Hermione was devastated, as she clasped her hands to her mouth, "Now we know their reason for the Polyjuice potion. I-I can't believe it…Poor Ginny. Harry, I'm _so_ sorry."

Harry held Ginny's wand up so they could see, "I-I couldn't save her. I know she's alive, but…I couldn't save her. Where do we look now? I _don't_ know where to look -" Harry was clearly losing his mind.

There wasn't another verbal response from either of them, but before Harry could finish, Hermione gathered him up in a comforting embrace. Harry was not thinking straight as he was still trying to process the last five minutes. He simply refused to come to terms with what had just happened. Like Ginny will re-appear any moment, and she'd be unharmed, and probably have a jab at Harry for still waiting around here for her. She was right there, and then like that, she was gone.

But she was alive, right? They wouldn't have taken her if she were dead. And Elias, that poor boy…Harry didn't even know if he had any family left.

Pulling back from the embrace, Harry looked back at his friends, "Anyone else hurt?"

Ron gulped, "Two dead Aurors, according to my dad. Multiple injured. And no one can find Lee Jordan."

"He was fighting alongside Katie Bell just before the explosion hit, "Hermione explained, "She said Professor Snape pulled her out from the rubble. He also helped me subdue a Death Eater - He's here somewhere looking for you, Harry."

Harry's eyes widened, "He _shouldn't_ be here. If he got caught – "

"He's using your Cloak. He must have freaked out when neither of us were at headquarters."

"We did manage to capture a fair few Death Eaters, though. I'll have to ask my dad…" Ron then swore very loudly in a string of profanities that no one else needed to repeat, "…How the _hell_ am I going to tell him about Ginny? He's going to _lose_ it. And mum…" Ron ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief.

Suddenly, Harry felt extremely guilty, "Ron, I'm sorry…"

"Harry, you would have saved her without question. I _know_ you would have. I don't blame you."

"We'll find her, "Hermione reassured, "Harry, please don't blame yourself. That Death Eater caught you both off-guard. I think one tried to take me, too."

Ron snapped a shocked look at Hermione, " _Wait_ , you didn't tell me that?!"

Hermione looked uncomfortable, "He led me away from the fight. If Snape didn't notice, I would have fallen for it too."

"BLIMEY HERMIONE!" Ron was angry.

" _Don't_ get mad at me, Ron! We _really_ have to approach this differently, now, "Hermione exclaimed, "We have to take proper measures, and question _absolutely_ everything. We'll question _only_ the people we know. "

"Which means we can't even trust the Aurors. _Great_ , just what we need, "Harry interjected.

"Also, according to Neville, one of the Carrows were seen here too. He was furious regarding the death of his sister. The Death Eaters are certainly on personal vendetta's, so we have to be _extra_ careful."

Harry nodded glumly, "Right, you two go and find the others. I just…there's something I have to do."

"Where are you going?"

"Just…I need some time to process what just happened. I'll see if I can find Snape, before he has my head on a pike."

Hermione's face dropped in concern, "…Would you like one of us to stay with you?"

"No…Really. I'm going to see who else needs help. I'll see you later. I'll be fine."

Hermione nodded, "Alright. But Harry, _please_ be careful! We'll meet you back at Grimmauld Place. I might suggest to the others to stop by for an urgent meeting. _Please_ , don't be long."

Harry nodded in agreement as he turned away from his friends and wandered back through the village center. From what he could see, some of the other witches and wizards were beginning the cleanup operation of the damaged buildings. He dreaded to see the _Daily_ _Prophet_ in the morning. They were right screwed at this point, and at the end of it all, the Death Eaters still got the upper hand. Without a master now, it was free reign. They could kill who they wanted, torture who they wanted, and kidnap who they wanted. They no longer had Voldemort to answer to, and that made them even more dangerous.

Harry passed by the Potter monument on the way through the city center, but he could barely glance up at it without feeling torn up inside. Originally, he wanted to go back to the cemetery and see his parents, but he was still consumed with a wave of seething anger from watching Ginny be taken away from him, that it was probably a bad idea to visit them at this point. He was far too much in shock and disbelief over what had just transpired, that he figured he'd make that a task for another day once it was safe enough.

As Harry wandered past one of the empty cobblestone alleyways looking for any of the fallen, he felt a forceful tug at the front of his shirt, as he was suddenly hauled around and held up against the wall.

"WHAT-"

"-That was _absolutely_ reckless, Potter!"

Well, he found Snape. Or rather, Snape found him. "Hey, let go of me!" Harry felt the invisible force let him go immediately, as he rubbed his chest, "You could have just yelled out!"

"What the _BLOODY_ hell were you thinking?!" Snape lowered the hood of the Invisibility Cloak, revealing his absolutely livid face. The alleyway was dark and unlit, so he could barely see the raven-haired man anyway. Harry's eyes darted down to see that Snape was sporting a tight bandage around his wrist. Anything to distract him from the fury etched on the man's pale face.

Frowning, he finally snapped his gaze back to Snape, "They _needed_ our help, so I went to them! _Why_ is that a problem?! I don't need your _bloody_ permission!"

"I didn't just _waste_ my time trying to find you tonight – "

"- They took Ginny!"

Snape's face fell in mid-speech, "… _What_?"

A Death Eater disguised as an Auror. Ginny and I rescued a kid and she…ARGH!" Harry cried out in frustration, clutching his right shoulder as he grimaced in pain, "After the blast, they took them both…"

"…The Polyjuice Potion, "Snape gritted his teeth once he realised, angry at the entire situation, "This is WHY you cannot just run into a battle _unprepared_ , Potter! This could have been _avoided_!"

"IT'S NOT MY BLOODY FAULT!"

" _CALM_ YOURSELF, POTTER!" Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to steady his own breathing as his adrenaline of the evening amped up. Eventually, his breathing became steady and controlled, and his onyx eyes found the green ones once more, "From now on, you _listen_ to me. _Really_ listen, because any wrong move could get you _killed_. You are no longer privy to the blood protection of your mother, or the Dark Lord's soul fragment. You are _vulnerable_ like the rest of us, and it is _crucial_ that you listen to my expertise to avoid _any_ further disastrous mishaps."

"Why didn't she just kill me? She had the opportunity to do it – "

"- They _want_ you to suffer, Potter! _That_ is their intention. Killing you now would be far too easy."

Harry stood there in silence, breathing heavily from his outburst. But with every breath, a shot of pain radiated from his shoulder.

Snape seemed to do his best to calm himself, too. He looked at the stressed-out teenager before him and finally adopted his self-controlled neutral expression once more, as he darted to the area the boy was clutching. "Allow me to look at your shoulder."

Harry hesitated, but it was obvious to the man that it was contributing to his distress. Without a word, he nodded breathlessly, as he pulled down the collar of his shirt and jacket to reveal a green and purple bruise across his shoulder. Lighting up his wand with _Lumos_ , they were both able to get a better look. It appeared to be slightly bent at an awkward angle. He watched as Snape carefully prodded the area with his fingers, looking for any further signs of damage. Once the man was satisfied enough with his assessment, he looked back at Harry with a raised eyebrow.

"Partial dislocation. You might want to brace yourself for this one, "Snape extended his other hand and firmly held it up against Harry's opposite shoulder in order to steady him. He slowly raised his ebony wand, and without waiting for another second, muttered a spell under his breath. With a sickening pop and a yell from Harry, his shoulder was set back into place. Snape flourished his wand again, as Harry felt a thin layer of frost coat the extent of his shoulder, immediately cooling the area and providing much-needed relief as it subdued the swelling.

Harry carefully pulled away from Snape, clasping his shoulder, "…Thanks. I didn't know you were that skilled in healing spells."

"As a spy, one needs to self-sufficient in the field. I am not just a _mere_ Potions teacher, Potter."

"Clearly."

Noticing the worry on Harry's face, Snape lowered his voice with concern, "We'll find her, Potter. But you must take _extra_ care. You are to return to headquarters _immediately_ and wait for me there. I need to do a further sweep of the area for any injured."

"I think Hermione is gathering everyone for a meeting. We need to warn everyone else about what happened."

"A wise decision. Take this as a valuable lesson learned, Potter, and I will see to it that you don't make the same mistakes again. That goes for all of you, "Snape crossed his arms over his chest, and stared directly into Harry's gaze, making him feel slightly uncomfortable, "Now go. Before I drag you there myself."

Clenching his jaw, Harry Disapparated away, and reappeared across the road from Grimmauld Place, immediately storming inside the familiarity of its walls. Once he walked through the doors, a chorus of voices yelled out during a heated discussion in the dining room, indicating to Harry that all hell was about to break loose once more. He was in no mood to be dealing with any of it at this point, but he had to face them sooner or later.

As he made his way halfway down the corridor, Molly Weasley was slowly descending the staircase and spotted Harry instantly. Harry's stomach lurched as he noticed her reddened eyes which indicated to him that Molly had been crying.

"Oh, Harry!" Molly approached him in short, but quick steps, and clasped both hands on his shoulders. Harry winced slightly at the contact to his injured shoulder, but that was the least of his worries, "Harry, _what_ happened? Is my Ginny alive? _Please_ , tell me…." She looked distraught.

Harry's cheeks grew hot with shame, "She is. She's alive. I couldn't- Molly, I'm sorry. It all happened so fast; we didn't know…"

"Ron told me, "She enveloped Harry in a hug, as she buried her face against his shoulder. Harry succumbed without protest, but after a few moments, they eventually pulled away, "I can't believe it. Arthur is at the Ministry in discussion with Kingsley. I've contacted Minerva, and she has banished the Aurors from Hogwarts for the time being. She couldn't take any chances. She sent for Filius, Pomona, Horace, Rolanda, and Sybill to remain at the school. She couldn't leave it unprotected."

"Have anyone found Lee?"

Molly shook her head, "No, I've not been informed. He's not here. "

Harry extended his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing away the building tension and feeling distressed at the current situation, "We'll find her, Molly. I promise. We'll get her back."

Eyes brimming with tears, Molly nodded sadly. He watched her try and smile, but Harry's heart further broke for her. Eventually, Harry left the Weasley matriarch's side and wandered into the dining room, suddenly faced with a room full of his classmates, like it was an impromptu DA meeting. Scanning the room, they all seemed to be engaged in their own little heated discussions, most likely relaying what they had just dealt with. Harry wasn't sure who had shown up to Godrics Hollow to defend but looking at the injuries they seemed to have sustained, most of them were there, oblivious to him.

Harry stood at the doorway unmoving, watching as everyone was engaged amongst themselves. Much to his relief, they hadn't noticed him there yet. Katie Bell sat nursing a heavily bandaged leg, as she sat beside Seamus Finnigan, chatting. Hannah Abbott was sitting closely beside Neville, as she attended to some of his cuts and bruises on his face – which Harry amusingly observed to be a little more a tender moment. Moving his gaze away from them, he saw the Patil twins together towards the back, sitting in silence. Much to Harry's relief, they appeared unharmed. Harry took notice of George Weasley besides Ron, burying his head in his hands. The disappearance of Ginny would have hit him hard, and so close in time from losing his twin brother Fred, and the sight of his distraught state made Harry's heart drop to his stomach. Hermione was sitting with Luna, with her arms around her shoulder in comfort, while he noticed Angelina Johnson and Susan Bones finally making an appearance since abandoning their coins at the revived DA meeting at Hogwarts. And yet, still no sign of Lee. Or Dean Thomas.

He heard a shuffle of footsteps behind him in the main corridor and turned to see Snape talking with Molly. He didn't catch the verbal exchange as he was so caught up with the crowd in the other room, but Snape seemed to stiffen slightly when he saw Molly rest her hand on his arm in gratitude. Molly nodded tearfully, as she walked away back into the kitchen to keep herself distracted. Snape turned around to find Harry watching him, causing the Gryffindor to withdraw slowly back into the dining room. Frowning at the seemingly harmless eavesdrop, Snape strode directly past Harry and entered the dining room with a cold authority, reminding Harry of being in one of his classes once again.

As soon as Snape entered the room, everyone fell immediately silent, as he made his way to the head of the table, with his arms clasped tightly behind his back. The man scanned the room, eying each individual with a piercing gaze, remarkably without moving his head. Harry slipped into one of the middle seats quietly.

Snape drew in a deep breath as he addressed the room in a stern callousness that Harry thought he wouldn't ever have to see again, "Well, well. I could start off by telling you all how undeniably _reckless_ you all are, but I believe you are already aware of that. _Now_ …" Snape darted his gaze around the room again, frowning upon the realisation of another missing individual, "Where is Mr. Dean Thomas?"

"I took him to St. Mungo's, Professor, "Hannah Abbott spoke timidly, with a hand half-raised, "He had a moderate head injury, and needed overnight care. He'll be okay."

Pursing his lips, he redirected his attention to the rest of the room, as his deep, booming voice resonated amongst them, "In light of the most recent attack at Godrics Hollow, it has come to my attention that a common trait appears _painfully_ absent with you all, as you attempt to advance on an… _elusive_ enemy." Snape clicked his jaw, as he paused, "As it stands, the remaining Death Eaters have utilised Polyjuice potion in an attempt to emulate the identities of Aurors. However few of the Death Eaters that were eventually captured, a few students were also taken. I cannot stress enough the _seriousness_ of this situation. If you intend to leave a battle unscathed, then you do well to heed my upcoming warnings and advice."

Seamus growled, "I didn't come back here for another Defence lesson."

Snape shot an immediate scowl directly at Seamus, "Considering your brawn and no brain approach, Finnigan, it does not surprise me in the very least that you would choose to dismiss such a lesson that can _potentially_ save a life. Now if you had any measure of common sense left in that noggin of yours, I'd suggest you stay seated and keep your mouth _shut_." Snape turned his attention back at the rest of the room, "That goes for the rest of you. Merlin help me, as I teach a majority of a room full of Gryffindors about _common_ _sense_."

With a deep breath, the Potions Master began to pace the room, "From now on, _no_ one goes off into battle by themselves. No matter how dire the situation is, you _must_ remain with a trusted ally at all times. Assemble in pairs, if you must. Play to your strengths. No _mindless_ heroics. Be aware of your surroundings. And question _absolutely_ everything. Do not communicate with someone you do not know, especially now in this case, an Auror. Am I making myself clear?"

"What if an Auror is trying to help us?" Parvati Patil spoke.

Snape stopped to answer, "Trust no one but your own. A Death Eater disguised as an Auror is at an advantage because you likely wouldn't know them. They are purposely taking advantage of your ignorance. Therefore, your questioning is limited. Do not follow them. You _must_ be cautious. They will do anything to bring you down, and they will attempt to separate you in order to do it."

"How are we going to find my sister? And Lee? And everyone else?" Ron interjected, ignoring the cold stare from the man across the room.

Snape leaned forward clasped over a vacant dining room chair, drawing in a shuddering deep breath. Harry could tell instantly that he really didn't want to be here giving everyone a serious pep talk. The man looked tired and weary, and Harry could see the blood seeping through his bandage once again, causing Harry to feel even worse about the new situation they were faced with. The man was ill, and it was already bad enough he was risking his life out there rounding everyone up like a shepherd herding sheep. They hadn't even begun to find a real solution to Snape's problem, and yet, now they were faced with something even more worrying. If they all didn't start to work properly together again, then the entire group was more than done for. Harry didn't waste his time initially rounding everyone up for it all to crumble, causing people to get injured or missing.

"For now, Mr. Weasley, it is most wise to further focus on the recovery of our injured until we can discuss a viable solution. I can't have you all _hobbling_ after Death Eaters, incapacitated, putting you all further at risk, "Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, as he stood up straight once again, "Our numbers are dwindling far too much for you all to take such risks now. This adolescent defense group is more than just a rebellion now. You are a _united_ front. You fought _together_ to defend the school _and_ your allies at the Battle of Hogwarts. Don't allow your strength to falter now. This war isn't over yet until we are working together to make it safer."

There was a pause and a silence among the room, as several others starting to nod their heads in understanding.

Luna tilted her head to the side, with an odd smile plastered across her face, "That sounds like something Dumbledore would say." Snape's eyes widened with the remark, looking quite offended, "…Sorry, sir. It's not a bad thing."

"…Too soon, Luna, "Ron whispered.

Harry shifted uncomfortably, as he leaned forward resting his arms on the table in front of him, "What Professor Snape _means_ , is that we need to go about this differently now. If we are to get our loved ones back safely, we need a proper plan. The Death Eaters don't have a leader now, so it's free for all."

"Yeah well, neither do we. Since when do you work _with_ Snape now? "Seamus crossed his arms.

"Since I _know_ he's on our side now, you insensitive git, "Harry snapped, " _Stop_ making this difficult. I'm _really_ not in the mood for you. Besides, you all wanted me to lead the DA back when it started. When I left Hogwarts with Hermione and Ron, Neville took charge. We've had leaders, and still do. Besides, Snape is with us now."

Snape frowned at Harry, as he flared his nostrils in contempt, "Potter, I said I'd oversee, not lead."

"No, but you see. You _know_ the Death Eaters. You can help us coordinate _against_ them. I can't think of anyone else more capable to direct us, than you. We need someone, well…level-headed. Right now, it can't be me, "Harry admitted, "I want nothing more than to go back out there and find them all, but that could do more harm than good for everyone right now."

"Gryffindors, a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, lead by a Slytherin. What can go wrong?" Seamus retorted a little too angrily.

Snape looked oddly triumphant, " _Everything_ , if you don't listen to my advice, Mr. Finnigan."

"I trust Harry's word, "Hermione spoke, as she addressed everyone, "Besides, we need a _proper_ plan. We can't go in blindly next time. I think we've learned that the hard way tonight. We can't afford any more mistakes." She turned to Snape, "I also think it'll be a wonderful idea if you could teach us what you know, Professor. You're right – we are not just a rebellion group anymore. Fighting at Hogwarts made that very clear, and after tonight, we need to learn more than just minor defense."

There was a pause, as everyone looked towards Professor Severus Snape at the front of the room. Harry could see the man wrestling with the decision that they seemed to corner him into. It wasn't a bad idea. In fact, that may have been the best idea that they had at this point. What better opportunity than to be mentored by Snape – Master spy, ex-Death Eater, Portions prodigy, and an expert with the Dark Arts. Not to mention his extensive knowledge of healing and injuries, which makes him the perfect go-to. Well, almost perfect, if he wasn't usually bitter and spiteful.

Eventually, Snape's eyes scanned the room of willing participates once more until his obsidian eyes rested upon Harry's emerald ones. Snape raised his chin slightly, "Very well. Seven years of education, and you all still have so very much more to learn. "He turned to the rest of the room, as she crossed his arms over his chest once more, "Go home, and recover…Class dismissed."

Without another word, most of the occupants shuffled out one by one out of the dining room and through the front door. Molly left together with George, leaving Hermione and Ron staying behind at Grimmauld Place once again. It felt strange without Ginny. The absence of one person, made the entire house seemed completely empty without her. The four of them, including Snape, remained behind once everyone left.

Reaching into his pocket, Harry retrieved one of the spare DA coins he had from one of the other students who never reclaimed theirs. He extended his arm out to Snape, revealing the fake Galleon for him to take, "Here. I have the Master coin. Whenever we plan a meeting, I activate it to time and place."

Eyeing the coin with curiosity, Snape gently retrieved it from Harry's hand, observing it. He raised his eyebrow to Harry, "Hmm. So this is how you did it. The _Protean_ Charm? Ingenious."

Harry nodded, "As of recently Hermione added another charm to act as a beacon. By speaking _Mitto_ _Auxilium_ , it will send a charge to the other coins allowing us to Apparate to their location. You're now an honorary member, sir. Saves you giving up the identity of your Patronus -"

"- _Harry_ , "Hermione gasped.

Startled, Harry turned to her, "What?"

"I think you just found a way to find Ginny."

* * *

 **FOOTNOTES** : This chapter was a result of 3 major changes that I made. I had one scene in mind that I loved but decided to add that in a future chapter as it didn't flow well with the events. But it is super sweet, and I felt it wasn't time to do that just yet.

I went through two more last-minute changes, and finally, came up to a 'leap of faith' situation with one of the main characters. Now I'm talking about the scene where Severus finds Harry, and they have a bit of a heated exchange. I made the decision to have Severus kind of 'revert' to his almost ruthless behavior briefly and have him kind of 'slam' Harry against the wall in anger and frustration because he didn't do what he was told. I still want to stay a little true to that side of Severus, but on the other side, he is learning (veeery slowly) how to be more patient and more dependable with Harry. But, as they say, old habits die hard, and it will take Severus a while to properly break out of that cycle.

It's a small scene but paves way for change in later chapters as these characters slowly grow out of who they were and evolve into a better version of themselves. It just seemed to fit given what has just escalated. Plus, Harry is very angry right now, so you can expect them both to clash very easily. When both are angry, they are horrible. But during the times when they are both calm, they actually work together very well.

As for Ginny, well…I needed to amp up the stakes of what is happening with the Death Eaters, and the scenario just sort of…wrote itself.

Sorry for the long-winded footnote, but I just wanted to clarify that in case I get asked. Thank you for reading this far! I'm really happy to read all of your reviews! Warms my heart! **smiles**


	24. The Lunar Dilemma

* * *

CHAPTER 24: The Lunar Dilemma

Upon their realisation that they may have found a way to reach Ginny, Harry had a surge of energy within himself knowing that there was hope out there after all. He clasped the faded golden coin within his hand like a lifeline, at it tethered his newfound hope to Ginny, realising that there was a way to track her. The only concern was when she would eventually realise that the coin was the answer. The coin that was likely sitting idly in the pocket of her jacket, awaiting her signal. The only way they could Apparate to her, or close enough, was for her to activate the coin, wherever she may be. Once they could obtain a location, it was decided by Snape that it should be carefully scouted before they decided to rain on their parade, wands blazing.

It was well past midnight now as the trio was deep into a discussion when Snape hastily re-directed them to bed until they can go over a decent plan in the morning. They were all exhausted, injured, and seriously lacking sleep, and all were slowly ticking into insomnia-induced delirium. Already Snape was agitated with them, so eventually, all four of them dispersed to their respective bedrooms to attempt a night of rest. Well, somewhat.

Harry was too energised to sleep. All he could think about was bringing Ginny back safely. And it was his own idea when he unknowingly sparked the idea of the coin. Neither Hermione nor Snape shot it down, so it had to be a good solution. He couldn't help but overthink all the possible scenarios, and he hoped above all else, that she was unharmed. The more he thought about it, the more dreadful he began to feel about it.

Feeling anxious again, he shut his eyes tightly, trying to subdue his racing mind. Thinking back to his Occlumency sanctuary, he tried to envision himself soaring high on his Firebolt once again, but his mind was far too much into overdrive to focus on anything of the sort. It didn't help, so he eventually dismissed that idea as it wasn't doing him any good at this time. Finally, upon hours of staring hopelessly at the peeled ceiling, he eventually drifted off to sleep.

Still exhausted from the events of the previous evening, Harry eventually rose up about ten in the morning and made his way to the kitchen for some well-needed nutrition. He was feeling rather dehydrated, and his stomach was grumbling to the point where it ached. Kreacher had prepared a spread of breakfast on the table for the early risers – It was usually Hermione and Snape these days – leaving the remaining ham and cheese omelets sitting idly on the table with a warming charm for the others. As Harry entered the kitchen, he found Snape tucked away on the other side of the room with a mug of a tea, and a half-eaten croissant at his side. His pale face mostly hidden behind the _Daily_ _Prophet_ he was reading.

Upon seeing the paper, Harry groaned to himself a little too loudly, causing Snape to lower the newspaper and arch his brow at the Gryffindor.

Harry looked sullen, as he stormed into the room, "Don't even read me the headline, I really _don't_ want to know."

Pursing his lips, Snape threw the paper down on the table and picked up his mug. He stared at the exhausted-looking teenager, taking in his disheveled appearance, "Rough night, Potter?"

"Yeah, _wonderful_ , "Harry was clearly in a grumpy mood this morning. A combination of frequent insomnia and witnessing Ginny being taken from him the previous night. Yeah, he was in a fabulous mood.

"Nightmares again?"

"No, just...overthinking."

"Did you practice – "

"- _Yes_ , I tried that bloody Occlumency thing! And no, it _didn't_ help, "Harry snapped, as he breathed heavily through his nose like a bull at a gate. He paused to try and calm himself.

Clearly irritated by the boy's mood, Snape gave a heavy sigh of frustration, as he took a sip from his tea, "You are _exceedingly_ lucky you are no longer a Hogwarts pupil in my class, otherwise I'd have you scrubbing cauldrons by hand for a month with that attitude of yours."

Pouring himself a glass of orange juice with the pitcher, he slumped into a chair closer to the center of the table away from him and helped himself to the other omelette, ignoring Snape's previous comment. He couldn't allow the man to fire him up, and he wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He picked up his fork and knife and proceeded to impale omelette with a little more aggression than usual, causing Snape to further frown as he watched with a mixture of amusement and concern for the few minutes following. Harry was unusually transfixed with his meal, that he didn't realise Snape was staring at him the entire time. Halfway tearing through the omelette, Harry slammed down his cutlery to take a sip of his orange juice. Harry made no effort to hide his frustration.

" _Easy_ , Potter. Any more antagonistic, and your cutlery might just fight back, "Snape's armored languid tone pierced through the awkward silence.

Harry almost choked on his juice, "Sorry, sir. I'm…stressed out. "

"… _Clearly_."

Leaving half of his meal behind, Harry slid his chair back causing a screech as he stood, enough to make them both cringe by the sound, "Have you seen Hermione?"

"The usual. Upstairs, in the sitting room buried in books, "Snape noticed Harry hadn't finished his meal, "Potter, _sit_ back down and finish your meal."

Harry frowned as he looked sourly to his half-eaten plate of food, "…I'm not hungry."

Initially, Snape frowned but gradually allowed his expression softened, "I've _barely_ seen you eat or drink anything at all since I've been here. You'll need your strength."

"Yeah, well, you _barely_ eat anything either, "Harry bit back.

Snape expression suddenly turned sour, "Don't argue with me. Just _do_ it, Potter." He knew full well his appetite was also wretched, but definitely not as bad as Harry's. Looks like stress got the better of both of them, "Finish it, _then_ you can leave."

Clenching his jaw, Harry sat back down and picked up his cutlery, finishing the meal without the added anger behind it. He ate the remaining meal in silence, leaving Snape to continue reading the _Daily_ _Prophet_ , occasionally peering over the top to observe that Harry complete the request. Once Harry was done, he rose from the table, and made his way upstairs without another word.

Harry climbed up the staircase, still in a foul mood, and wandered into the sitting room to find Hermione sitting alone on the floor beside the roaring fireplace, surrounded by books.

She looked up and smiled at Harry, "Oh good, you're awake. Ron's still snoring away." She crinkled her brow, "I've been trying to come up with alternative solutions for Ginny, but I'm afraid I've not come up with anything better them simply… _waiting_ for her to use the coin."

Harry sat down beside her, "Yeah, I figured that was the case. Tracking won't really work either, will it?"

Hermione shook her head, 'No. It'll just direct us to the others. Multiple coins will interfere with it."

Harry paused in thought, "Would it be possible to track with something else? Like maybe, her wand?"

"I did think of that, but from what I could research into magical tracking, nothing in these texts mention anything about tracking using a wand as the primary object, "Hermione flipped some of the pages of the large aged tome in front of her, as she continued to look, "We could definitely try that, but we'd have to go beyond the wards without interference. Although, I'm not sure what the limitations are in casting a spell on an actual wand."

"How does the spell work, exactly?"

"The _Avenseguim_ Charm, can enchant an object to quite literally, guide you in the right direction, "Hermione explained, "However, it cannot pass through activated wards. So, it may not be able to give us an exact location, but close enough."

Harry paused in thought, "So we just…follow it? I can't say I like the idea of following an enchanted wand through Muggle areas. Can we use any object?"

"The more personal the object, the clearer the pathway, "Hermione stated, then shrugged, "It's worth a try. Though I must suggest we don't attempt this in the middle of the day. Just in case it goes awry. Far too risky."

Harry looked worried. He really didn't want to wait until nightfall.

Noticing Harry's worried look, Hermione continued, "As long as she refrains from taunting them, she'll be fine. We'll run this plan with Snape and get his advice."

Harry nodded, "Sure, I suppose."

He watched as Hermione slammed one of the books shut and reached over to the other tomes in front of her and pulled out a worn-out dull grey book. The book appeared centuries old. The cover was faded, and Harry could barely make out the silver diagram of the lunar phases on its surface. There were scratch marks on the cover and on the bindings, and the pages itself seemed to have pages torn from it. Harry watched as she placed it in front of her, and began to flip quickly through the pages until she reached a double page with an image of something being pulled out from a man. It reminded Harry of a Dementors' Kiss being performed.

"Blimey Hermione, when did you have time for all this?"

"I spent a few hours at the Hogwarts library yesterday. When we got called away, I, well… _Borrowed_ them, "Hermione shrugged, "Madam Pince wasn't there to see, and no one else is there. So, I brought them back here."

Harry leaned over to see the page, and slowly began to read the inscription on the title, "' _Anathema_ _Excerptum_ '. "

"Curse transference, or extraction," Hermione leaned forward to Harry, so neither of them can be overheard, "I spent a little extra time in the Restricted Section. I found a few variations of spells to this effect, but this one seemed more logical. The _removal_ of a curse is essentially, a branch of dark magic. But this spell doesn't actually _involve_ using any dark spells. It's more circumstantial that makes it dark. The spell, and potions, are especially complicated. And _very_ time-sensitive. "

Harry scanned the first page for the potion's ingredients, and frowned, "Why do I get the feeling most of these ingredients aren't found in your average potions lab?"

"Some of it will be, regrettably, problematic to obtain."

Harry continued to scan the pages, but became more confused as he read on, "…I don't know what I'm reading."

Hermione drew in a deep breath, "Alright. For this spell to have any effect, a Potion must be consumed in conjunction with three full Lunar cycles. Each Potion takes fourteen days to brew and must complete its final day, on the day of the full moon. Now, if you recall our first Astrology lesson, each full lunar cycle is approximately 30 days. So _effectively_ , this entire incantation should take us through three months."

Harry's face fell, "That's worse than brewing Polyjuice potion."

" _Much_ worse, "Hermione continued, "Now, the potion itself acts as a stabilizer; protecting the magic of the person inflicted and preventing _their_ magic from interfering with the final extraction. There is a separate potion, that takes the entire three months to brew, and is consumed on that _final_ full moon night, with the third protective potion. _That_ potion aids to transfer the curse itself."

Harry drew in a deep breath, "This kind of sounds like a disaster, Hermione."

She shook her head, "The potions itself are straightforward to brew, but it's the ingredients I'm worried about. But there are several factors in this spell that must be considered. As I mentioned, this spell is very time-sensitive. Forty-eight hours _before_ the full moon, the inflicted must go into a complete fast. That also means they won't be able to consume any other potions whatsoever because that will greatly counteract the potions they must take with the incantation. Unfortunately, he won't be able to take any other antidotes, or even any supplementary potions to counter his side effects _only_ during those forty-eight hours."

Harry bit his lip, "That's not going to bode well."

Hermione shook her head, sadly, "No, it won't. We can for the remaining time, but just not for those two days prior. But the protective potions he will take will hopefully, alleviate some of that. The spell also requires a new vessel; either living or object. Something personal."

"What? Like…A Horcrux?" Harry shook his head, "Nope, we can't do this. This was a _bad_ idea."

"Yes, and no. A Horcrux is an object housing a trapped _soul_ fragment. We're dealing with a _curse_ here. All we are doing to transferring it from one vessel, to another. The curse isn't sentient, Harry, "Hermione placed her hand on the book, "The object he chooses _must_ remain with him during the duration of the full moon, once he consumes the potion and chants the inscription that will ultimately, and gradually, shift the curse. Until its final extraction."

Harry swallowed down rising bile within his throat, "…Will it hurt?"

Hermione's face fell, "I-I don't know. The potions he will take will protect his magic, and himself, from the negative effects. But, according to this book, the curse _can_ retaliate if not done correctly."

Harry hesitated, "Is there anything in there about it being…successful?"

"I did further research about spells much like that one, and there have been charted incidences where it _has_ been successful. But mind you, this spell is complicated, and not many people have performed it. But then again, Snape's situation is also unique, and well…It's a shot in the dark."

"When's the next full moon?"

"In about three weeks' time. So if we do this, I will have to start brewing both potions in a week, and we _must_ have everything we need very soon."

Closing his eyes, Harry leaned back against the couch behind him. What an absolute disaster. There are just so many things that could go wrong with this spell, and all Harry could think of were the negative effects. Fasting? Hell, they wouldn't even be able to give him his antidote at all during those two days. This could potentially leave him far weaker than before, and would he even have enough strength for that final potion? The potential ramifications of this spell seemed horrifying, and the thought of even explaining this to Snape sent dread right through his bones. There was no way he was going to agree to this.

And what happens if it doesn't work? Snape may not even have more time, or life left, to try again. Neither one of them knew what kind of time the man had, because it was all just guess-work. For now, they were just doing their best to manage the man's symptoms as best they could. How long could they keep that up? Harry was worried by the thought of finding Snape unconscious or bleeding out somewhere because of the unpredictable advancements of the curse. Snape was currently spending his remaining time either keeping them all safe or teaching them what they needed to survive, and the least Harry could do, was make the effort.

Harry told Snape he would do whatever he could to try and help him, and this spell was right up there with one of his biggest leaps of faith yet. He didn't want to feel guilty for not trying hard enough. He couldn't back down on that.

Harry finally opened his eyes as he turned to Hermione, "We're going to have to tell Snape. He'll need to help us with the Potions, otherwise, we're just wasting time.

"I think convincing him will be more difficult than performing the spell in its entirety."

"Wonderful," Harry sighed, "When we do, you're coming with me to explain it to him. He's not going to take this well from me… "

Hermione paused, with an odd look of uncertainty, "…Unless, we _don't_ tell him?"

"…Please tell me you're joking?"

"Well, if we told him _now_ , he'd likely flat out refuse. In fact, I'm certain he would. But once we go through all this trouble…Perhaps he'll see that we are willing to go this far for him?"

"Yeah, and presenting him with a rare concoction of a potion as a surprise gift on a full moon is going to go down _real_ well for him, "Harry sighed, "Where will we brew this? We definitely can't do it here."

"Hogwarts. We can use one of the private Potion labs. No one is going to be using them for a while. If on the rarity that Hogwarts is resuming again, September is far well in advance for us to get this done before then."

"You know Snape's going to figure out what we are up to _very_ quickly."

"Think about it – If we tell him about this now, is he really going to let us continue with it?"

Harry paused in thought, "No, he really won't. "

"Look, I can go ahead and brew it myself. These instructions aren't all complicated, and it's more the time-consuming part of it that will be a little frustrating, "Hermione closed the book in front of her, "I'll make a parchment copy of this, and give the potions list to Neville. If he can find us the herbs we need, we can try and find the other rarer ingredients. " Hermione started to gather all the books, and slowly stood up off the floor, "I'll go and wake Ron, and we'll make a trip back to Hogwarts and see what we have to work with, in the potions stores. Maybe Snape has some rarer ingredients hidden somewhere."

Harry slowly picked himself up off the floor, looking worried, "I hope we can pull this off."

Hermione shrugged, "If we can sneakily brew Polyjuice Potion in our second year between classes, then surely this won't be as bad. Besides, don't worry. I've gone through this spell multiple times, researching _each_ ingredient. There is no counteraction. This will work. It will just take time."

Harry nodded, as he looked concerned, "Yeah, I know. I'm just worried we'll run _out_ of time. "

Hermione reached out to place a reassuring hand over his shoulder, "We'll do what we can, alright? Keep an eye on that coin for Ginny. Perhaps you can discuss the tracking with Snape? As much as I don't want to wait until nightfall, that's the safest way we can go about this."

"I'll deal with Snape."

Harry watched as Hermione took a few steps forward, then turned on her heel to face him again. Her voice dropped to a whisper, "If I were you, I'd focus on practicing Occlumency."

Once Hermione finally exited the room, Harry hung his head, "Great. _Wonderful_."

Harry was then left standing alone by the fireplace, wondering how things got terribly stressful, very quickly. Once he was done processing her final words, he gradually made his way to the couch and sat himself down, lost in his thoughts. For the most part, he was glad Hermione was confident about it because he sure wasn't. Was hiding this from Snape, of all people, really the best idea? The man was far too attuned to what was happening around him, and Harry would be surprised if he could keep himself from spilling the magical beans until they started the brewing process. Snape already knew he was a terrible liar, and the idea of trying to keep something like this from him made him super anxious. What an absolutely daft idea.

And Occlumency? He could barely use it to stop a panic attack, let alone blocking his mind off to one of the most skilled Legilimens of all time. He'd know if he was prying into his mind…right?

_Don't be stupid, Harry. Speak one word wrong, and he'd know you're lying._

Now he felt panicked.

Trying to distract his mind to something else, Harry rummaged inside of his denim jean pocket, as he retrieved the DA coin and proceeded to flip it several times in the palm of his hand. It was almost as if he expected to immediately teleport to Ginny's side. He had far too many pressing issues at hand, and two of them had its own delicate time restraints making both considerably complex to deal with. Harry had hope, above all else, that Ginny remained unharmed. He couldn't begin to imagine how they would be treating her, or the conditions she was thrown into. Without her wand, she was rendered essentially powerless. The idea alone caused Harry's stomach to churn.

Resting back onto the sofa, Harry closed his eyes as he drew in a slow deep breath, followed by a long exhale. He allowed the sound of the crackling fireplace beside him to fill his core up with a comforting warmth, as it helped provide him will a well-needed sense of calm. He could hear a slight whistling of the wind against the arch windows in front of him, echoing behind the sound of his breath. The Spring morning allowed rays of light to pierce through the windows as Harry could feel the sunlight on his face. He allowed those sounds to help him emulate the sanctuary he created for himself within his mind. Flying high on his Firebolt, amongst the clouds on a slightly breezy, yet sunny day. No sounds of a bludger tearing past his head, or the sickening raspy voices of Dementors on his tail. No heavy winds or plummeting rain and bolts of lightning to knock him off his broom. No attempts on his life mid-flight.

Just much-needed nothingness as he allowed his mind to soar with something he so desperately wanted to do again.

Slowly, Harry opened his eyes, feeling almost a little drowsy yet unusually relaxed. Like waking up from a pleasant dream, and now he wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with that lovely thought planted into his mind. Feeling a little more in control of himself, he took another breath and exhaled just before he rose up from the comfort of the sofa. Still holding the coin, he wandered out of the door and paused just before the descent of the staircase. He didn't hear a thing upstairs, so Hermione and Ron must have left already. Harry must have been so focused on his sanctuary, that he likely didn't hear them bolt down the stairs to leave. Instead, he heard consistent coughing reverberating from downstairs. Taking another deep breath, he made his way downstairs to find all other floors empty. Instead, he followed the sound to the basement.

Instantly, he crinkled his nose to a putrid smell that reminded him of a combination of petrol and old socks. As he descended the basement stairs, he saw Severus Snape hunched beside the bench coughing persistently. The man held a grey cloth to his mouth, and Harry could see that it had spots of blood seeping through. Grabbing the nearest wooden stool, he dragged it across the stone floor and planted it beside Snape without a word. Snape wildly felt for the chair beside him and lowered himself onto it. Allowing himself a moment of rest due to the over-exertion and persistent coughing, Harry watched the man attempt to regain control once more.

Pointing to the cauldron beside him, Snape managed to choke through the next few words between haggard breaths, "Two…tablespoons…dried lavender…Stir anticlockwise…Until aqua…"

Jumping straight into it, Harry proceeded to add the lavender and began to stir the boiling pot, allowing the scent of the newest ingredient to dominate over the putrid one he smelled earlier. Taking a few side glances at the man struggling beside him, he turned his attention back on the cauldron. He had no idea what he was even brewing.

Snape slowly spilled the next set of instructions between the raspiness of his breath, "…Twenty milliliters…salamander blood…Use dropper…"

Immediately reaching for the teaspoon, he did a double-take and swapped it for the measuring dropper beside the flask of salamander blood. Drawing it out carefully, he added the required amount to the cauldron, watching as the contents darkened to a murky aqua color. Harry's eyes darted beside him, as he noticed Snape watching him carefully.

"…Add stewed mandrake…Already prepared…There…" Snape pointed to the dish on the other side of the table, which Harry recognised as mandrake. "Two drops…flobberworm mucus…Stir clockwise four times…"

Harry proceeded to add the stewed mandrake, and the mucus, proceeding to stir the ladle beside him. He watched as the bubbling mixture turn from a dark aqua, to a ruby red in the time it took to completely stir.

"Now, adjust heat…to simmer…Eight minutes…"

Adjusting the burner to the required heat, he watched as the flames reduced, changing the bubbling to a calm simmer. Harry reached for the stash of empty vials in the storage box on the shelf on the other side of the room, and pulled out a handful, as he lay them out ready onto the workbench. He looked over to Snape, who had since turned away, and mopping the stream of blood from the corners of his mouth. Setting the timer, Harry leaned against the table, not knowing how else to help him.

"Did you…need anything else?" Harry was concerned.

Snape merely shook his head wearily and pointed again at the potion simmering in front of them. Perhaps it was some variation of a cough suppressant or analgesic. Harry wasn't sure. The potion did not appear familiar to him, and he was certain he hadn't learned this particular one in Potions class before. Perhaps it was Snape's own brew. He could only wonder what else the man knew. It made Harry feel slightly guilty that he did pay close enough attention in Snape's class. Maybe he would have learned a little more if he had properly followed instructions like he was supposed to. The Half-Blood Prince had a plethora of knowledge at his disposal, and yet Harry spent most of his classes horsing around with Ron and not taking things seriously.

It was no wonder Snape was always mad at him.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the growing silence, Harry pulled up the other chair and planted it in front of the table, a small distance from Snape. He didn't feel comfortable leaving him here just yet, as any more of a coughing fit, would surely send him toppling to the floor. Harry was in no way a healer by any meals. He could barely perform a successful _Episkey_ charm on a small cut. He wouldn't know what to do if the man decided he wanted to collapse right in front of him. Perhaps he could fire those kinds of questions at Neville since he'd been volunteering at St. Mungos in the last three weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts. At least how to manage certain symptoms, somehow. If Hermione and himself were seriously planning this transference spell, then they had to learn alternative means to treat his symptoms during the required fasting. Perhaps it was even a good idea to obtain some Muggle books to help them with that.

So much to do, so little time.

Within the silence between the odd pair, Harry picked up the DA coin he left on the table in front of him and stared at the fake Galleon. There was no time nor place on its surface. It was left blank, to await the next call. Now it seems like its purpose was not only to summon those for a meeting but to call them during times of danger. This coin was no longer just a secret messenger. But a beacon, to call him to his comrades. His friends. And family. Waiting for Ginny's call that may never come was more than agonising for him.

Snape tilted his head at the boy, "Staring at it…will not activate it any sooner." Harry could hear his voice slightly hoarse, but was returning some of his breath, much to his relief.

"She's smart, she'll figure it out, "Harry responded automatically, still staring at the coin, as he twirled it within his hand. "Do you think it's possible to track her using her own wand?"

"Possibly."

"Possibly?" Harry wasn't sure if the man's response was sarcastic to his request, or he likely didn't know for sure.

Snape slightly cleared his throat, slowly wincing at the obvious shot of pain that it created, "…What is her wand core?"

"Hmm…Dragon heartstring."

"Do you know…which one of you…have the same core?"

"Hermione does."

"Then…it is possible. It is most effective…when two matching wand cores…call to each other. As you are very… _well_ aware." Suddenly, the timer began to ring, and Snape pointed back to the cauldron, "Remove from heat…allow to cool…"

Retrieving his wand, Harry turned to the burner and extinguished the flames. Then he retrieved the heat-proof gloves from the table and placed them on his hands as he removed the small cauldron from the burner and its tripod, placing it on the cold marble slab beside it.

"I'd like to try tracking with it. Hermione and I decided it was best to do it at night since we'd need to go beyond the wards," Harry slumped back down on the chair, "I just can't wait around for this coin to signal, sir. It may not be for another day until Ginny realises to use it."

"I will not allow you…to leave, Potter."

"I'll go with Hermione, that way we can both use the Cloak. Any sign of danger, then we're out of there." Harry sighed, "Any progress is better than none. If we can eliminate an area, then we're still one step closer to finding her."

" _Far_ too dangerous."

"We were on the run for nine months, camping out in forests, and getting hunted and frequently pursued by Snatchers and Death Eaters. So, don't _lecture_ me on danger, sir. I know _full_ well it's dangerous. But so is leaving Ginny out there on her own. When are you going to learn to trust me?"

Snape ran a pale, slender hand over his face, eventually allowing his head to be held in his hand and resting his elbow on the table as he did so. Snape's face was hidden now at this point, but it was likely for the best that Harry didn't see what he was dealing with. Snape gave a heavy sigh and said nothing.

Turning his sight away from the man, Harry re-directed his attention and stared back at the coin in his hand. Subconsciously mirroring Snape, he gave a heavy sigh, "Why are you so worried, anyway? We can handle this. We're not eleven anymore."

Snape still was unable to form a response. Tilting his head to the direction of the man, Harry watched as he began to shift his hands, and plant them on the table in front of him, clasped unusually tight together. His fingers and knuckles white as paper. His raven-hair shook with each shuddering breath, still unnervingly raspy, and became the only sound in the room that Harry could hear. He still couldn't see the man's face, but it was clear Snape was fixating his gaze on the vacant stone basement wall ahead, almost in a daydream. A man so usually focused and controlled was slowly crumbling before him. And Harry knew it was not just the illness that was slowly eating away at him. Clearly, his mind was just as plagued as Harry's.

Still twirling the coin within his hand as he waited for the potion to cool, Harry decided to take this opportunity of silence from the man in an attempt to get back some sort of moral sense. If Snape were deciding to be begrudgingly unhelpful now, then maybe he would be able to properly listen to Harry this time. Whether it sparks a response from the man or not, Harry did not want to seem careless. Harry cared. But with Snape, it was incredibly difficult to express the genuinely of that to him. The man was so seemingly emotionally limited, that perhaps it was just that difficult for Snape to accept. Was it really that easy for Snape to appear so careless? Surely not.

"You know, sir. Back at the Forbidden Forest, when you taught me how to send a message with your Patronus…" Harry bit his lip, refusing to look at the hunched brooding Snape beside him, "The message I sent you, about not giving up? They weren't just empty words. I meant it." Without a further response from Snape, Harry continued, "Back in my fifth year, I was against the idea of starting up the DA. That was Hermione's idea. _She_ convinced me that it was a good decision, so I trusted her word for it. We hoped for a teacher, and they all elected me because of my…well, experience. Many lessons later, and knowing I helped them develop their skills, made me feel…less worthless. It gave me a purpose. Looking back on that, I don't know what I'd be without them. And not just a study group to spite and rally against Umbridge, but…to fight together. Even now. Sure, I wanted to give up restarting it again because I didn't want anyone else getting hurt. But even now, I'm glad I did decide to unite them again, with encouragement from Hermione, Ron, and Ginny...In going ahead with it, I _chose_ not to give up. And from where I see it, you chose not to give up too. I know this because you're still here sitting next to me, listening to me rambling on."

Harry stood up from the chair and began the process of filling up the small round vials. He picked up the beaker and began to ladle the now rusted red color of the potion directly into it. He then proceeded to carefully pour it into each empty vial, as orderly as possible without spilling a precious drop. Once he was eventually done, he corked each of the ten vials in front of him and slid them off to one side while he did his best to clean up. Snape was still seated in the same spot, unmoving.

Was he in some kind of shock or something? It was strange behavior, even for Snape.

Once Harry was done, he sat back down where he was before, retrieved one of the vials, and carefully placed it directly in front of Snape's line of vision. After a short while, Snape decided to finally spring into life again, as he picked up the vial gently, uncorked it, and gradually poured the contents into his mouth. Harry watched cautiously as the man downed the liquid, and soon enough, Snape's raspiness began to ease and he no longer looked like it was a struggle for him to breathe.

Harry felt instantly relieved.

But as soon as Harry shifted to leave, he felt a heavy hand reach for his shoulder and rest there, gradually relaxing in grip. They both sat there for several moments, unmoving. Harry wasn't sure how to react with that gesture, as he never expected such a thing with him. It was strange, and yet so very unpredictable with this man. Perhaps he didn't know how to truly respond, so he went with a simple comfort. A gesture that would usually mean so little to someone else, but for Harry – and even Snape – that meant more than words could ever express.

Harry turned to Snape, but Snape struggled to do the same. He could see the side angle of the man's face now; a mixture of anguish, and a haunting sorrow that Harry wished he could erase. Snape moved to speak, but no words came out. He watched as the man retracted his hand and looked away.

Harry gently shook his head, and spoke quietly, "You don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to listen. But…thank you." Harry offered the man a light smile, but he knew he wasn't looking his way again. Instead, Harry stood up and silently made his way to the stairs, where he got a last glimpse of the man sitting hunched by the table before he made his way back up to the main floors.

He didn't know exactly what that was, but it further fuelled his drive to help him.


	25. Melancholy Reminisce

* * *

**NOTES:** Thank you all for your reviews! Often you'll find in this story, that I do like to 'tie up loose ends'. Often in the HP world, we do not always have answers to some of the magical theories, and thus, I try to do my best to fill those gaps with my own take, without straying from canon (though if I overstep there, please let me know!). I enjoy planning and writing the complexities of some of the magical theory, and I wish we had more of that in the bookverse. Sometimes if I find there is a gap in canon knowledge, I'll insert something to mesh it all together. Hopefully, that doesn't bother you guys too much, but it helps me envision the story when I can fill the gaps that otherwise cause me to question.

This chapter is a little 'lighter' than the previous chapters, but that's the compensate for the next one ^_^ ENJOY!

* * *

CHAPTER 25: Melancholy Reminisce

Harry found himself pacing his room, anxiously awaiting Ron and Hermione's return from Hogwarts. After the monumental event with Snape in the basement Potions laboratory earlier, Harry was left amongst his own thoughts, with no one to share them with. There were still so many unspoken words between them, but the man's gesture left him feeling overwhelmed, yet reassured. If the man were harboring anger against him, he would have easily thrown him out of the room. Or cut him deep with some harsh truth that Harry may not be ready to hear. Although the man was silent, at least he was able to finally listen to the Gryffindor. Something had happened at Godric's Hollow with Snape, and he couldn't quite understand what.

Both concealed so much grief and unresolved issues, that it was difficult for them both to be completely open with one another. They were both honest people. Snape usually with his bitter truth, and Harry unafraid of speaking what was on his mind. Neither were liars. But in a sense, Harry could understand the man's silence. Sometimes things can get heavy, and an immediate reaction would simply withdraw from others and yourself. Sometimes it was easier to bottle it all up within because sharing with someone was too painful and difficult. Harry understood that. There was still so much even his friends couldn't begin to understand, but in a sense, Snape did.

That itself was the strangest thing. Snape _did_ understand. That was the truth. He seemed to understand him better than most, and perhaps that is what compels Harry to constantly seek his advice for that peace of mind and confirmation that he wasn't a completely hopeless case. He often wondered what ran rampant within the man's thoughts through all the years he protected Harry like a silent guardian. It was hard to think that the man who openly expressed his hatred towards the boy, was the same man struggling with ill-health in the basement, assisting Harry in finishing his potion, and then offering a reassuring hand on his shoulder like it was his way of an extending an olive branch as a peace offering.

Harry knew he couldn't blame himself for the actions of his father upon Snape in their youth, but he couldn't help but feel responsible for it. Even though he knew it wasn't his fault. If Snape were to get any kind of resolution, then the only person it could truly come from, had to be from Harry. Through all the years Snape had known him, Harry was always burdened by the actions of his father from Snape's eyes. From years of putting his father on a pedestal, it was suddenly tarnished by those memories Snape had been delicate in harboring. And yet it wasn't fair that Harry never knew his father personally, so he didn't have a chance to create his own memories of him. But since that day he accidentally peered into Snape's memories in his fifth year, he had come to learn that everyone had their own demons locked away. He loved his father so much still, but he was not the saint he expected him to be. And despite that, Snape wasn't the devil Harry originally perceived him to be, either. He still did terrible things, but he spent years making up for those mistakes.

And yet Harry had the capacity within his heart to forgive both of them. The only way to move forward is to let go of things beyond any of their control. It made no sense to stay locked within what could have been. That is not living. That is self-made torture. There is a time for grief, but eventually, one must let go, because holding on hurts just as much.

Harry wondered what Remus and Sirius would think of him if they were here. Remus most likely would have forgiven Snape, but Sirius? He would have been glad to see Snape suffer, and would have probably done his best to taunt and cast him away. Was it cruel fate that neither of them were here to see him now? They would probably ask him why he was even bothering with the man downstairs. But Harry couldn't bring himself to turn away from him, just like the Marauders did. Or even as his mother did. He had a chance to do better, and this was the path he was willing to take.

Deciding to finally distract himself from his thoughts, he made the decision to finally enter Sirius' room after delaying that task for the last few weeks since his return to Grimmauld Place. Since they used it as a safe house when they were being hunted, Harry had been hesitant in disturbing Sirius' room, so he left it exactly how he last saw it. Living at Grimmauld Place was one personal dilemma, but disturbing the bedroom of his Godfather since passed, just seemed like a horrible intrusion on the man's life. Like he had no right to be here. It took a long time for Harry to come to terms with his death, but he never liked the idea of cleaning up the room. Every object, every piece of furniture had its rightful spot placed there specifically by Sirius, and to move things around seemed like he was going against his memory. It was a silly thing to be thinking of, but that's how he felt.

Opening the door slowly with an ear-splitting creak, Harry walked past the threshold into the dark and dusty room, which may as well have been the attic. Scrunching his face up from the dust wafting in the stale air, Harry approached the scarlet curtain, and drew it all the way back, allowing the Spring light of the afternoon to bathe the room. He tugged at the window, which didn't budge initially, until he finally withdrew his wand and opened it all the way, allowing a fresh breeze to take away the enclosed, suffocating air. He turned back to the bedroom and saw the piles of letters and photos that he left abandoned the last time he was here. He did a poor effort to tidy up the pile previously, but now he knelt on the floor and attempted to do a better job.

Stacking the papers together, he placed them back in the empty faded box beside him, being careful not to damage the parchments containing the history marked across these pages. It took him some time to realise why the letters had been on the floor in the first place, but now he remembered. Snape's memories. His mother's letter, and photo…Could Snape possibly still have them? He never did find those missing pieces, and then flashes of Snape's memories flooded his own mind as he recalled the man taking the other half of a letter, and the photo…Harry's heart skipped a beat when he realised it was he who tore it in half.

How the hell was Harry going to ask him? Technically, it wasn't Snape's to take in the first place, but then again, he felt too guilty to approach him about it. Harry had mixed feelings about this scenario. He understood why he did that, but regardless, it was wrong of him to do so. It was almost like looking through someone's personal diary.

Harry spent the next few hours cleaning up Sirius' bedroom and making sure it was as dust-free as possible. The bed linen was cleaned, the rug now a few shades lighter as opposed to the layer of dirt and dust it had originally. The curtains were fixed of all rat-eaten holes at its hem, and the furniture looked far brighter than he ever thought possible. He was able to accomplish much of it magic-free since it just seemed to feel far more comfortable for Harry to do. Years of experience doing that at the Dursleys, had Harry feeling more accomplished. He noticed several claw marks on the old wooden floors, and Harry couldn't help but grin. Thinking back to some of the days Sirius was going stir-crazy being secured, yet housebound on strict orders, so he must have transformed to his Animagus form out of pure boredom. He could just imagine Sirius running around in dog-form, annoying every single Order member that walked through the door. Even Snape, most likely.

It was only fitting Harry and Snape were housebound too, and hopefully, they ended up less stir-crazy than his Godfather did.

Harry had finished combing through every inch of the room, making it as pristine as he possibly could within his limitations, magical or otherwise. Everything that was once scattered on the floor, had found a rightful place within the room. The photos of Sirius and the other Marauders were cleaned and still remained fixated on the walls, while the framed ones had their place upon the mantle. The Gryffindor colors that were clearly evident in Sirius' room, made Harry smile and feel proud. The scarlet and golden hues were reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room that Harry missed so much.

He leaned against the edge of the bed, proud of his little handiwork and effort, despite having felt emotionally incapacitated recently. Subconsciously, he began to rub the scars on his right arm; something he seemed to do out of habit now. But at least he had stopped picking at them when he became anxious, and now, the wounds were healing up well. He had long since removed the bandages now. Yet still, the scars would not fade. Just another scar to add to his collection.

Not long after Harry was done dealing with Sirius' room, he heard the sounds of Hermione and Ron bounding up the stairs calling his name.

"Good, you're still here, "Hermione was exasperated when the pair entered Sirius' bedroom and looked around in awe at Harry's cleaning efforts, "…You've been busy."

"Clearly, I have nothing else better to do. Honestly, anything to keep my mind off things, "Harry shifted a sofa chair back to its original spot, as he decided to wander back to the bed and sit on its edge. "Any news?"

"Well, Ron and I managed to salvage some of the ingredients in Snape's lab and stores, "Hermione sat down on the edge of the bed with Harry, as Ron slumped down on the single armchair opposite them, "I gave Neville a list of additional things we need, so he's going to search for the rarer herbs for us. We still need Acromantula ashes…That's not going to be a fun one to obtain. Along with the matured dragon scales, Abraxon hair, Occamy egg, and lionfish spines."

"Don't you dare ask me to tag along to get those ashes. No way in hell am I'm dealing with giant spiders again, "Ron grumbled, "No bloody more. I'm sick of it."

"Well, considering they are incredibly hostile to us even more now, I wouldn't want to either, to be honest, "Harry responded.

"We can't avoid it. We'd need them eventually, "Hermione turned to Harry, "Ron and I went to see Hagrid earlier, and he is going to help us get the scales, the egg, and the Abraxon hair. They are a little harder to obtain, but he's going to find them for us."

"…You didn't tell him why, did you?"

"No, of course not Harry. Besides, it's Hagrid. He knows better than to ask."

Harry bit his lip, "...How is he? I haven't been able to see him since I was last at Hogwarts."

"He's doing alright. Busy with new Hogwarts fortifications on McGonagall's orders…He asked about you, "Hermione tilted her head, "He was worried since he hadn't heard from you. But I told him you've been laying low given the current situation, so he understands."

Harry started fumbling with the hem of his shirt, "I should probably send him an owl, or something. Though, do you think that's too risky?"

"I don't think it's going to be much different now. Owl post hasn't been safe for ages. But I doubt the Death Eaters are going to waste time on owl watch now, "Ron mentioned.

"Harry, did you ask Snape about the tracking?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded, "Yeah. He says it's possible to track another person's wand, so long as both the caster and the wand they are tracking, have the same core. Ginny's core is dragon heartstring, same with yours, Hermione. "

"Well, that's good then, "Ron responded, "It's better than waiting, Merlin knows how long, for my sister to use the coin. For all we know, she could have dropped it somewhere."

"Once it's dark enough later, we'll try it out."

Hermione frowned at Harry in a warned look, "Harry, it might we wiser for you to stay here."

"What? No, I'm going."

Ron crossed his arms, and leaned back into the chair, "Snape might permanently hang you from the chandelier if he catches you leave again."

Harry shrugged, "Honestly I thought he would too, but when I told him I was going to try and track the wand tonight, strangely enough, he didn't say a thing. I think he yelled at me enough yesterday, and he wasn't keen on giving me the same old lecture again. He knows full well I can't just sit around, waiting. "

"He's a bloody weird one," Ron rolled his eyes.

"Well, he has his own personal problems, Ron. Cut him some slack, "Harry warned, as he threw up his hands in defeat. Even though he could understand Ron's apathy towards the professor, he was frustrated that his friend still displayed that biased view, and that made Harry more than a little mad. There was a time when Harry thought the same way about Snape, but now that seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Look, let's have a chat with him about our options. I wonder if there was a way we can narrow it down, "Hermione interjected, clearly annoyed by the rising conflict between Ron and Harry, "Perhaps he may know some of Voldemort's previous camps? I mean, he seemed to be familiar with the one at the Forbidden Forest. If he could give us an area we could start in, it will make our job finding Ginny and others, far easier."

"Well, they'd have to be somewhere remote, right? They won't be partying at Hogsmead, that's for sure, "Ron leaned forward in his chair, "Maybe they have multiple camps in the Forest, and we only happened to find one of them?"

Harry started to drum his fingers on his legs, slightly anxious, "It seems likely. I mean, where else could they go that can easily hide their operations? They would have had several safe zones in place if things went awry."

"And they'd have to be well away from Muggle eyes, and magical residences, "Hermione drew in a deep breath, "Makes sense. But surely not the Forbidden Forest."

"Where _else_ could they be?"

"Well, I was thinking because Firenze and the other centaurs would have driven them away and McGonagall if they did, and we would have been informed about it. The Death Eaters would want to be further away from Hogwarts, so they won't be disturbed."

" _Great_. They could be anywhere," Ron grumbled.

"Look, we don't have anything else to go on. We need to narrow it down, and maybe Snape can help us with that, "Hermione stood up the bed and beckoned for the other two teenagers to follow suit, "Come _on_ you two. If we can sort this out soon, we _may_ be able to get Ginny and Lee back tonight."

Harry and Ron looked at each other, and rose up from their perches, as they followed Hermione downstairs. It didn't take them long to find Professor Snape sitting by the fire in the sitting room, with a random old book in his hands. Most likely from the ancient-looking bookcase in the corner. The trio walked to the room's open doorway, with Hermione giving a polite knock at the door, knowing better than to barge straight in. Snape raised his head from the book to find the trio making their way inside and taking their respectful seats adjacent to the man. He followed their path without a word and watched them awkwardly take a seat.

Harry noticed Snape quickly gazing once directly at him and then averting his direction elsewhere, likely still a little uncomfortable regarding the incident earlier that morning. At least that made Harry's job of sealing his mind off from the man, a little easier.

As Hermione sat down, with Harry and Ron on each side, she fumbled with her hands awkwardly trying to formulate a response, " _Sir_. We were just wondering if you can tell us more about the Death Eater camps?"

Anticipating a lengthy discussion, Snape gently closed the book and placed in on the table in front of him. He leaned all the way back in his chair, with his arms folded neatly over his chest, "…Go on."

Hermione drew in a deep breath, "We wanted to know if you had any ideas of where they might be. Surely they can't still be in the Forbidden Forest."

Snape's expression turned sour, "I was not often privy to much of the Dark Lord's plans…unless it directly affected Potter. I was only able to be made aware of a few primary campsites but were denied further knowledge. "He subtly rolled his eyes, "…Seems to be the running theme on both sides I was to report to."

"How many did they have?" Ron asked.

" _Many_. It was rare for them to find a permanent headquarters. They often moved around to different locations, removing most traces of their presence whenever they did so."

"Like Malfoy Manor? Do you think they could be there? Could Draco have something to do with it?" Harry asked.

Snape looked at Harry sharply as he frowned, "They are as much hunted, as we are, Potter. I assure you; they do not know. They want nothing more to do with them."

"What other camps do you know of, sir?" Hermione asked.

Snape paused in thought, furrowing his brows as he tilted his head, "I only know of one other; however, I do not believe they are still operational." Harry could tell the man was stalling. There was something about the way he said that that had him worried.

" _Please_ tell us. We have to start somewhere. We can't rely on the Ministry, still. Not after our latest Auror problem. We need to stop them before they murder more people," Hermione glanced anxiously at Ron and Harry beside her, "We are running of allies, sir. We _can't_ enlist the Minister's help because we have no Aurors we can trust. It will be unwise to pull any other faculty from Hogwarts and leave it unprotected. What's left of the Order and the DA – _us_ – Is _all_ we have."

Harry watched as Snape drew in a wary deep breath, as he paused upon Hermione's statement. There was something about Snape's expression that changed. Harry never usually paid so much attention to him before, but since finding the man severely injured in the Shrieking Shack almost a month ago, he has since been able to read the man's face more clearly. It wasn't as if Snape let his usual façade crumble completely. He still carried his armored demeanor with authority, but the changes that _did_ happen were subtle. The delicate changes in the man's tone when he was being genuine, or the way his eyebrows crinkled that told him that he was worried. Or even at times when the man's eyes grew wide in fear. Perhaps it was due to the frequent interactions with him, that Harry was able to pick up new things that others wouldn't dare to notice. Harry spent so many years not paying attention to him, only to now realise that he _should_ have. Ron and Hermione had their own views, but only Harry has seen the man show a different light than what they were all used to before.

Only Harry noticed the man's eyes widen in blinding fear when faced with the snake at Spinners End. Only Harry noticed the way the man's face crumbled slightly when he gave him his first Patronus message in the Forest. Only Harry knew how often the man almost begged for death. Only Harry knew how much pain he really harbored, beyond what Ron and Hermione could even begin to comprehend. Only Harry saw the subtle smile on the man when he told him things about Lily. Only Harry knew that Snape's gesture this morning was enough, and meant more to him than he could ever express in words.

But this time, Snape's jaw dropped, as his eyes widened in slight fear. Harry watched as the man leaned forward, and rested his elbows on his legs, staring at anything else but the three sitting before him. Once Snape's voice dropped, Harry knew that this was more of a personal affair, "I know of only one. The Misty Dell."

Harry clasped his hands together, repeating the man's words, "The Misty Dell?"

"It was…An old site," Snape gave a shuddering deep breath, as he continued, "An old stone house used to stand there. It was surrounded by swamplands… _Wretched_ place. It was used frequently during the First war, but I am unsure if they ever used it recently."

"What was it used for, exactly?" Ron asked, but his expression told them that he probably shouldn't have asked.

Snape pursed his lips, "It was a prisoner encampment. Back when I was a… _loyal_ …Death Eater, we were often called there directly after a raid. I – "Snape paused, as he broke his gaze at the pair, leaving his mind to trail off. But then Snape sat up straight in his seat and focused his energy in re-composing his impassive gaze once more, "- You don't need to know what happened there. Trust me when I tell you, that in some instances, it is _best_ to remain ignorant. "

It only made Harry wonder what Snape was about to say. But given the man's reaction, Harry was afraid to find out. Instead, Harry leaned forward, "Where on Earth is this place?"

Snape drew in a shuddering breath, "…The Forest of Dean."

There was a collective grumble and frustrated sigh from the trio. Ron slumped backward in his chair, staring up at the ceiling, while Harry and Hermione glanced at each other in uncertainty.

"Of all places. _There_? You _must_ be joking! "Ron spoke a little too sarcastically, and he leaned forward again. He looked at Snape, who couldn't look any more serious, "…Clearly not joking."

"I realise this information would not be taken kindly. I'm only telling you this so that you are not blindly wandering around unfamiliar enemy territories. Or _anywhere_ else. Furthermore, I will be accompanying you, to ensure you return in one piece. _Especially_ there. "

"You mean to say, sir, that Death Eaters have been hiding out at the Forest of Dean?" Harry threw his hands up, "We were camping and hiding out there for _months_ and didn't run into any of them. How – "

"- You were _exceedingly_ lucky. Your wards must have been stable enough to draw no attention from them. Granger's handiwork, no less?"

Hermione shrugged sheepishly, as she nodded, "Y-yes, sir."

In stubborn resolve, Snape clenched his jaw, "Listen to me. I really _don't_ want you wandering in there. Regardless of if it is occupied or not, it is not safe. But I fear you will find yourselves there anyway, _defying_ orders as per usual. If there was no real reason you three should be running off, I'd have you all in a full-body bind and lock you in the attic. But you have missing loved ones. I will do my best to ensure they are extracted safely."

"Thank you, sir. So, how do you propose we do this?" Hermione asked.

"I will Apparate in close vicinity, and scout the area for activity – "

"– No, sir, you're not," Harry interjected.

Snape spun his head to look at Harry, "I beg your pardon, Potter?"

" _We_ are going with you, "Harry responded, "Besides, you said it yourself. We have to be careful. You're not going in there without backup. You're just as much of a target. "

"I'm flattered, Potter, but I am perfectly capable of the task."

"Well, we didn't suggest the idea only for you go _instead_ of us, "Harry clenched his jaw, "We'll all Apparate there. Two of us will use the Cloak, quickly look around and scout ahead. Once it's safe enough, we can use it as a starting point to track with Ginny's wand. Surely that charm can't work over long-distances, so she must be _somewhere_ in there."

"As long as there is no bloody camping involved, I think it's the best idea we've got, "Ron grimaced, "I don't want to delay this any longer…I can't lose another sibling."

Hermione reached for Ron's arm, and rested her hand there, "Ron and I will contact Neville and Luna and let them know to be on standby. Just in case things go awry. "

"I don't care about the Death Eaters; I just want my sister back."

Harry turned to Ron, "We are not coming back home without her. We'll keep going all night if we have to."

All three Gryffindors nodded among each other and eventually turned their attention back to Professor Snape seated before them. Snape sat unmoving, darting his obsidian eyes to each teenager as they spoke. Harry could see the man's careful calculation. It was a risky plan, but the alternative was to stay put and wait around for the coin to buzz which may never happen anytime soon. Every hour that ticked by posed more danger to Ginny's life. Neither of them could bear to sit around waiting any longer. Harry hated being a sitting duck.

Snape carefully stood up and turned his head to the window, to see the sun began to dip low behind the houses across the street, almost obscuring its view. The day was almost at an end.

Turning back towards the trio, Snape finally addressed them again, as he towered over them with his hands clasped behind his back, "Meet at the bottom of the stairs in _one_ hour. I _suggest_ you pack supplies, with appropriate wear pending weather conditions. I will salvage what I can of the potion stores should an emergency arise. We must be well-prepared."

The collective nods of understanding between the Gryffindors were a sure-fire way of boosting their adrenaline. The moment Snape finished addressing them, Ron and Hermione bolted off the sofa, to alert the others should they need help. Harry made his way to follow them but turned around in time to see the look of dread plastered across the Snape's pale face. This time, Snape made no effort to hide it. Admittedly, Harry always felt a little more confident when Snape was, especially when out on a mission. But seeing that look of uncertainty now did not make Harry feel any better.

The last thing Harry wanted to do, was to go back to that forest again. But he was willing to risk that fear again, to bring Ginny back home safely.

Within the hour, Hermione managed to pack a few supplies, such as food and extra clothes for the three of them. She was amusingly ashamed to say that the tent was still stuck in the Forest of Dean, from when the Snatchers eventually got a hold of them. Ron let out a laugh and joked about how the wards may still be in place around it and possibly lost forever. Then he made a joke about Snape not having to worry about bringing extra clothes because he often wore the same thing. That itself, earned a horrified slap from Hermione, causing Harry to stifle a laugh at Ron's expense. Serves him right.

Hermione had placed Ginny's wand inside her beaded bag for safekeeping, even if Harry felt empty parting with it, while Snape was stuck in the basement preparing things that they may need.

Eventually, as the hour ended, all four of them assembled in the main corridor, and without a word, they departed Grimmauld Place lead by Snape just as the last light of the day dissipated. Snape teleported the trio using Side-Along Apparition, and when they suddenly re-materialized in the familiar oak tree-filled forest, Ron cursed under his breath. Immediately, Snape withdrew his wand and cast emLumos/em, as the others followed suit.

It was painfully quiet. This part of the forest was filled with ancient trees around them, as the canopy of leaves overhead almost obscured the view of the starry sky above. The instant cold hit them immediately as the evening breeze blew through, even though it was barely at the end of May. It shouldn't be this cold. Now Harry wished he were back by the crackling fireplace and familiar comfort of his own home. Dressed in a thick sweater, and the warmest pants he owned, Harry approached Hermione who immediately retrieved the Invisibility Cloak from her bag. They followed Snape in silence, trailing behind him and making their way slowly down a sloped stony hill, watching their footing as they went. Eventually, they came across an old wooden shack, barely the size of Harry's bedroom at the Dursley's. The shack itself was falling apart. Sections missing from the wall, almost barren of anything inside, except for an old, shredded rug and remnants of a campfire someone else had attempted to use previously. They spent a few minutes securing it and repairing sections missing from the roof. Ron swore a little too loudly, earning a hissed scolding from Snape when a large black spider landed on top of him.

Snape turned to Ron and Hermione, and dropped his voice to a whisper, " _Wait_ here. I recommend placing wards once we leave. We won't be long. The Misty Dell lies at the bottom of this hill. _Potter_ , with me."

Ignoring Snape's sullen look, Harry threw the Invisibility Cloak over both of them, which did its best to cover them, albeit not completely. Harry could have sworn he heard Ron snigger as the pair of them left, knowing full well the Cloak wasn't able to cover their feet. For now, this was the best they could do. There was only one Cloak, and Harry was adamant he would accompany Snape down to the bottom of the hill. Harry was stubborn, and Snape knew that well enough now to argue with.

The further down the hill they trekked, the quicker the mist began to envelop them quickly. Harry mentally kicked himself for thinking the Misty Dell was just a name. He did not anticipate the place be shrouded in mist, and instantly, Harry felt an unnatural shiver through his bones.

What was this place?


	26. The Misty Dell

* * *

**NOTES** : Heads up for an upcoming dark, morbid and spooky chapter ahead (sorry +_+)! The Misty Dell was one of three sites the DE's used, which as an FYI, are actually canon to the Deathly Hallow games _only_ , and never mentioned in the books or films. During my research into Voldemort's reign, it gave me a cool idea to delve further into them and provides a creepy backdrop. There was no more information regarding the camps as they only served the purpose of holding prisoners. So, I took that information and decided to create my own little twisted lore and story about this location. I did not play the games, so the information I know it purely found on research.

On a side note, I do apologise for the references to 'Potter', 'Granger', 'Weasley' in this chapter. This one is written in Severus' POV. There is a good reason he does that.

* * *

"There are many things that we can't understand. The past. The bad things that happened...and we become afraid. Of what might happen in the future. It's okay to be afraid. But we have to keep hoping and believing...to keep hoping and trying our best to be good and do good. Even when we're afraid."

\- **Nafisa Haji** / _The Writing on My Forehead_

* * *

CHAPTER 26: The Misty Dell 

If Severus could guess any events following his near-death experience, trekking onto the haunted grounds of the Misty Dell with the Chosen One, was far from one of them.

There was nothing else Severus could do to convince the bone-headed trio to remain beside the safety of Grimmauld Place. No matter what he'd suggest, they will likely go off on their own accord anyway. They have had far too many near misses when they've decided to run off oblivious to the situation, so the very least Severus could do was be brutally honest with them about what they were getting into. Well, almost honest. As much information that Severus was able to provide, without frightening them into submission. Potter had enough to deal with in that head of his, and Severus didn't want to unnecessarily add to that. The Misty Dell was notorious among the Death Eaters, and the horrifying things that took place here were something that no teenager needed to hear.

Either way, Severus knew that they would find this place upon the use of their tracking charm, so much to his displeasure, accompanying them during this task was the only logical option. There was no way he was sitting alone at Grimmauld Place while three Gryffindors gallivant off into Death Eater territory. He didn't want to be here any more than they did. This place haunted many, even for Severus. The Misty Dell was not a place to be treated lightly. It was a place that still plagued Severus' dreams, even now, and it was a place he'd never thought he'd ever see again.

Severus and Potter made their way past the ancient, twisted trees around them, as they slowly descended the stone steps to the bottom of the hill. The further below they ventured, the more the mist shrouded them and soon enough, they could barely see the canopy of trees overhead. Combined with the Invisibility Cloak that both of them remained under, they were as good as the mist that surrounded them. The steps were slick with the condensation, and a few times Potter slipped over a few steps, causing Severus to frequently grab the boy's jumper instinctively, they finally reached the bottom without further blunders.

Once the rough, rocky steps blended into the forest floor at ground level, they continued on the path now obscured by thick fog.

"When you mentioned Misty Dell, I didn't think you meant that _literally_ , "Potter whispered.

"The mist – or fog now rather - is an enchantment to repel Muggles, Potter. No one will be stupid enough to blindly venture down here, unless they knew exactly where they were going, "Severus' voice was barely audible in response. The fog was the perfect cover for an operational base and was highly successful in keeping away prying Muggles, or otherwise. The charm as it now appears had been active since the First War and did its job of masking the horrors within.

He _didn't_ want Potter here. Severus would have been more than willing to venture here on his own, just to appease the Gryffindors. But he knew Potter would likely follow him here, and he was not about to let that happen again.

Eventually, the unlikely Slytherin-Gryffindor duo diverted away from the path to their right and stopped just beyond a rockface with a small carving of a strange symbol on its surface.

Immediately, Severus removed the Cloak and handed it to Potter for safekeeping, "Keep the Cloak with you. _Any_ sign of danger, you run to the others and Disapparate back to headquarters. _No_ further discussion. _Otherwise_ , remain close to me within my view, understood?"

With a hasty nod from the Gryffindor, Severus turned towards the twisted old willow tree within their view, and took several strides toward it, raising his wand. Once he reached the tree, he took three more strides beyond it and stopped. He heard Potter's shuffling of his feet, as he stopped just beside him. The atmosphere was eerie at the very least, just as Severus remembered. The fog itself not only acted as a visual barrier but a sound barrier as well, absorbing all sounds reverberating from within.

Which from Severus' past experiences, were for the best.

Outstretching a careful hand, Severus tried to feel for the wards that may be present, but nothing could be sensed beyond his knowledge. Crinkling his brow, he took one more step forward and tried again. But still nothing. Finally raising his wand, he began a series of detection incantations in a barely audible whisper, but once he was done, he was left confused. There were no wards in place, except the fog charm which was all but harmless. Severus stood there for a few moments in thought, calculating his next move. Their sight was limited, and Severus knew that the path would take them directly where they needed to go. He considered bringing down the fog charm, but for infiltration's sake, it was wiser to keep them active should they need to use it to their advantage.

Severus turned to Potter and motioned for the teenager to follow him. He was rather surprised the Gryffindor wasn't firing twenty questions at him, _thus_ far, so he commended his current ability to keep his mouth shut when the situation called for it. They made their way back onto the stone path and followed ahead when eventually, the fog began to lighten, and their view less cloaked. A few steps forward and the fog suddenly dissipated once they crossed the invisible threshold. Immediately, Severus grabbed Potter's wrist and tugged him to the side behind another willow tree a few strides away. They ducked down as far as the mudded roots went, and they waited.

Severus peered beyond the tree to finally obtain a better visual of what they were dealing with. A quick sideways glance, and he noticed Potter doing the same.

There it was. The infamous Misty Dell. Only known to Death Eaters, and a site with far too much spilled blood soaked into its grounds. Severus' breath was caught in his throat, as his onyx eyes rested upon the old stone house that was situated in the center of a small clearing. The house itself had crumbled in places, and a wall had crashed down. At certain points around the area, there were remnants of other buildings long since destroyed, but some of its walls and stone foundations still remain. Around the main house were areas of swampland, covered in wetland flora, with the familiar putrid smell of rotted leaves and human remains. Severus turned his nose in disgust as he surveyed the area. The site itself was not much to look at, but the things that took place here were beyond anyone's nightmares.

Though one thing which made Severus unexpectedly uneasy; there was not another soul here.

With a single nod at the Gryffindor, Severus moved out from behind the tree and pressed forward towards the old stone house, wand raised at the ready. The darkness overhead was so unnerving, even despite the moonlit grounds, that even the _Lumos_ charm provided no sense of comfort as they wandered closer to the center. It wasn't long until a sickening _CRUNCH_ was heard directly behind him. Severus spun on his heel immediately, to find the horrified expression of Potter as he glanced down at his shoe to find the shattered remains of the bone structure of someone's hand. Severus let go of a breath he didn't realise he held.

But during Potter's unsettling discovery, it was then Severus glanced down at the muddy terrain around them, beyond the now concealed path they were once on. Coming here was a mistake. Perhaps he should have body-binded them after all. That, at least, would have been easier to deal with.

Around them, was littered with skeletal remains of prisoners dated all the way back during the First War. Men, women, even children. Severus was barely older than Potter when he was first initiated into the Death Eater stronghold among the Dark Lord's proud achievements. Receiving the Dark Mark was a sign of glory and power, and the highest form of honor for the wizard amongst the dark ranks. But what followed that initiation, was enough to even repulse some of the senior Death Eaters. The Misty Dell was not just a prisoner encampment.

Severus shut his eyes.

This location was one of the main sites during the Dark Lord's tamper with Necromancy. One of the most sinister branches of dark magic to have ever plagued the magical world. It was here, that the Inferi were reborn into tools of destruction and unimaginable horror. Creatures so twisted and dangerous, that even a glimpse of them, sent shivers down one's spine. Severus, as a new recruit, was often tasked with assisting to transport prisoners after a raid to deliver them here pending their fates. It was also here that Severus was tested, and it was here that he made his first cold-blooded kill.

Severus made one of his mistakes by taking the Mark. But taking an innocent life…Severus wished he could erase that deed from his mind. This was not what he signed up for.

The victim was barely a few years older than he was at the time. Ripped away from the clutches of his younger sister, a mother who was an Auror, and a father who gathered wand woods for Garrick Ollivander. They raided a small town, mercilessly destroying property, while many of his new comrades casually killing those in their path like they were nothing. Severus was tasked with kidnapping to appease the Dark Lord. He took this boy; this young adult and delivered him directly into the Misty Dell. The other Death Eaters tortured him as he watched trying desperately the mask the horror on his face, as the man writhed in pain before him. But Severus' mission was not over, as his next task was to perform his first act of the Killing Curse on this victim already so damaged. The man looked at Severus in the eye slowly weeping, as Severus cast the curse, convincing himself endlessly in the nights following that it was out of mercy. Refusing such an act would have resulted in his death. He had no choice.

The screams of the prisoners before their untimely deaths would forever haunt Severus. One by one, the prisoners were eventually slaughtered and turned into Inferi, ready to fight. The fog charm was ideal in keeping their ghastly presence hidden, but the swamps…

"…Professor Snape?"

Severus opened his eyes at the call of his name and found Potter standing before him concerned. He was torn; he really did not want to be here. Severus hesitated as his heart raced within his chest, trying desperately to remove those horrendous memories from his mind.

"…What exactly happened here?" Potter's voice dropped, as he struggled to formulate any kind of sentence. He was quite noticeably anxious, too.

Severus' voice quivered, "Do you recall the lesson I gave on Inferi in your sixth year?"

Potter frowned, "Yeah, I do. But I've encountered them…With Dumbledore on the night that he…" The Gryffindor bit his lip. "…We were retrieving a Horcrux that night. It was guarded by them."

"I see… "Severus' eyes glossed over, "Well, as you can see here, these are…the remnants."

"You said this was a prisoner camp?"

"It is. And… _were_."

"Wait, those Inferi were actually prisoners? Then…" Potter took another glance around him and looked stricken. He grimaced, "…If this camp hasn't been used since the First War as you said, then their reanimation must have forfeited once Voldemort was killed the first time."

"Yes, precisely," Severus winced, "And _watch_ the name, Potter. It holds a different measure of power to me that you so carelessly throw around."

Potter continued to look at the Professor with worry, "Something tells me you've seen enough here. Before, I mean."

Severus pursed his lips, trying to subdue his rising nausea from being plagued by such a horrible place, "This was not a pleasant dwelling, Potter. _Many_ terrible things happened here. Things that _still_ haunt me to this day."

"I didn't mean to drag you here – "

"-I _couldn't_ let you come here alone, Potter. We are lucky this site is inactive. But…No one should witness this."

They began to slowly walk along the pathway to the ruins of the stone cottage, as they continued in conversation. Potter couldn't help but ask," …What did they do to the prisoners?"

Severus' heart lurched within his chest, as he looked at Potter with distaste, clearly bothered by it, "That, Potter, is something I do not wish to disclose. Some things are best left unsaid."

Potter sighed, "Well, it looks like no one has used this place since. Can I summon Ron and Hermione now?"

Severus gave the Gryffindor a curt nod, "Certainly."

The Potions Master watched as Potter retrieved the coin, and spoke the incantation to activate them, indicating that the charm extends only to Weasley and Granger. A few minutes later, and the pair Apparated to their side, looking in horror at the littered boneyard around them. Immediately, Granger extended the sleeve from her jacket and held it against her nose and mouth, trying to mask the putrid smell. Weasley looked nauseous.

"That's disgusting, "Weasley grimaced, as he looked at Severus, "You couldn't have picked somewhere more…pleasant?"

"The Death Eaters cared not about pleasantries, Mr. Weasley, "Severus retorted. He eyed each student before him, carefully, "Do not stray too far, and keep _away_ from the swamps."

"…What's in the swamps, sir?" Granger lowered her voice, almost frightened to wake the dead.

"The Inferi…They kept the Inferi in the swamps, didn't they?" Potter asked. It was a relief to Severus that the Gryffindor was increasingly developing some intellect and method of common sense.

Severus looked at Potter and nodded grimly. "The Dark Lord hid many of them there until they were needed. As a result of his downfall, they likely have all reverted back to their lifeless state," He looked uneasy, as he turned to the others, "We'll continue ahead, and scout the cottage. We don't need to stay here longer than necessary."

Turning swiftly on his heel, Severus raised his _Lumos_ -lit wand and continued up the path to the cottage. Granger and Weasley wandering around the area, a distance behind the Professor, while Potter was hovering between them and Severus. Stopping multiple times, Severus paused as he surveyed the area he once frequented during his youth. Everywhere he turned, he envisioned exactly the places he treaded through. It felt like yesterday that he was here last, and yet those memories would haunt him until his death. No matter where he looked, he could see his Death Eater comrades, sadistically torturing poor victims either by magical or Muggle means, like it was a sport. He was too powerless to do anything as he was forced to watch and pretend it didn't affect him. That was no life for a teenager barely older than Potter now. A life of darkness that Severus never wanted.

"…Sir, did you ever…participate here?" Potter snapped him back to really once more, as his voice pierced through the tortured silence. Severus silently admitted he was grateful for the company.

Severus felt ill to his stomach, as he looked sadly at Potter and nodded, "I was not much older than you are now. I was forced to do things against my will. It was either that or face death much like these poor souls."

Potter turned away, looking at a curled up skeletal form a few steps away. They both slowly continued on the path together, reaching closer to the cottage. Potter turned back to him after a short pause, "What did they have you do?"

Severus was not liking these questions at all. The boy didn't need to know everything, so he attempted to keep it vague, "A part of the Death Eater initiation was to perform your first Killing Curse. I _senselessly_ took a life here once I was forced to watch their torture. That is _all_ you need to know."

Potter hesitated as he bit his lip, "I understand it must have been – "

Severus turned quickly to look at Potter, eyes wide with fear, " _Don't_. You could _never_ understand what that was like." He took a deep breath and turned away from him, "I was in an impossible situation, Potter. Had I known that it was part of the job description, I _never_ would have taken the _bloody_ Dark Mark in the first place. "

Severus watched as Potter's face fell, "Sorry…I-I won't ask again."

Once Severus softened his gaze in appreciation – and relief – the pair reached the cottage. Baring the Gryffindor from walking no further than he, Severus crossed the threshold in the open door with Potter following closely behind. The cottage itself was only one-level, and often a small dwelling where the Death Eaters would rest in shifts, while the others guarded and tortured the prisoners as they saw fit. It wasn't constant, but there was no way anyone could rest here with screams and anguished cries of those poor souls writhing in pain echoing in the distance.

Severus felt incredibly uneasy being here. It wasn't so the fear of Death Eaters returning to find him here but were blood-soaked grounds which induced a panic-induced terror with the man and the resurfaced memories. There was another teenager much the same age as Severus at the time, who took the Dark Mark on the same day he did. Severus watched him perform the killing curse, as he remembered how visibly upset he was after that. Three days later, the boy took his own life.

Once the Dark Lord required a need for a spy a year later, Severus did not hesitate to step up to the task. There was less bloodshed involved in that role, and in a way, he was hardly required to participate in raids. That provided his own measure of relief, but often Severus would still be forced to watch his comrades and their twisted sadism. The thought was repulsive, even to Severus.

Room by room, Severus combed the dwelling with Potter for any sign of life. It was clear already to Severus when they first arrived that the Misty Dell had not been used since the First War, but he had to make sure that this place was nothing more than ruins. Severus could sense Potter's burning desire to ask more questions, often glancing up at him in deep thought. But he was at least appreciative that the boy kept his word and remained silent. Severus was pained enough to be here, and he refused to answer any more questions.

There was nothing more to be found within the cottage, much to Severus' relief. The swamplands had slowly taken over the stonework, leaving twisted, moss-covered vines to cover most of its interior as the forest attempted to reclaim it back. The worst of the Misty Dell was outside on the haunted grounds, where the mud was littered with the bones of the dead, once turned to Inferi. They exited the cottage and made their way back to Granger and Weasley, who were still scouting the grounds.

"Ready to escape this horrid place?" Severus stated.

" _Gladly_ , "Potter responded, looking uneasy. Severus was struck with a pang of guilt.

"What are we going to do about…This?" Granger spoke with a timid whisper, as she motioned to the remains surrounding them, "We can't just sort of…leave them here."

Severus crinkled his brow at the unusual request, "You…want to bury them?"

Potter and Weasley shared a confused look and glanced back at Granger who appeared stricken. Potter looked back at Severus, "She's right. It's wrong to leave them like this…It'll be the honorable thing to do."

The trio looked at Severus, awaiting a response. There was a short silence between them, as he scanned the collective grim expressions of the Gryffindors before him. A part of Severus just wanted to leave, and never look back. But the teenagers inherited a delicate measure of compassion that Severus, regrettably, didn't really have enough of. As much as he didn't want to admit it, perhaps he might learn something from the Gryffindors after all.

Severus drew in a deep breath, as he spoke softly, "Very well. The quicker we do this, the quicker we can make haste. Understood?" The trio nodded in compliance. Good. No arguments.

Turning on his heel, Severus scanned around them for a location they could use, giving the area a thorough sweep with his gaze. Eventually, his wary onyx eye's rested upon an old, twisted willow tree by the cottage ruins, and he began to make his way towards it, hearing the careful steps of the Gryffindors following closely behind. Once he stopped at the tree, he raised both of his hands, wand pointed at the ready.

In his usual cool, silky voice, Severus chanted, " _Tera_ _amoveo_ ". His wand glowed with a bright white light, as the ground beneath the tree began to shift. Sounds of rocks grinding together could be heard, as the dirt began to shift away, gradually digging itself deeper until there was a giant hole in the ground. The loose dirt and mud piled up beside it. Resting up against the tree, were skeletal remains of someone long lost. With a non-verbal _Wingardium Leviosa_ , he meticulously lifted the remains and lowered it into the new grave within the ground. Severus heard a shuffle behind him, as the Gryffindors realised what they needed to do.

The trio and Severus combed the grounds for anyone they could find, and gently lowered them into the mass grave. There was not a word spoken between either of them, as they completed the task with utmost silence, giving respect to those who lost their lives here. It took some time to walk around the darkened grounds, but once they found all they could, Severus closed the grave over once more, as the four of them stood idly in silence once the deed was done. Several moments passed them by, as Granger slowly walked up to the grave and magically rearranged the stones littered around to form a circle. Inside the stone circle, she conjured a wreath of white gardenias, which seemed to glow in the moonlight overhead. She stood back up and re-joined them once more. In light of Granger's kind gesture, Severus' lips twitched into a small smile, which was hidden anyway by the shadows cast over his face.

Breaking the silence as softly as he could, Severus turned to the somber Gryffindors. "Time for us to leave. Now, they can finally be at rest."

Leading the way, Severus and the Gryffindors made their way back through the charmed fog – Severus felt it was best to keep the Misty Dell concealed from prying Muggle eyes, so didn't bother to remove it – and all the way up the hill from whence they came. They made the small trek in silence, and likely reminiscing at what may have happened there, and those who lost their lives. Severus did not want to reveal the details, because even that was far too much for him to fathom himself. But now they were venturing into uncharted territory. Severus knew there were several more camps likely concealed within the Forest of Dean, but he was not made privy to that information. As a spy certain information had to be withheld from him in case of capture.

Lighting the way with _Lumos_ , Severus led the others to a less dense part of the forest, far away from the swamp marshes of Misty Dell. At least the night sky was far clearer in view, and the moonlight was able to illuminate the darkened forests around them. Once he felt it safe enough, he turned to Granger, with his hands tightly clasped behind his back. His traveling cloak was billowing slightly amongst the nightly breeze.

"Miss Granger, you may retrieve Miss Weasley's wand. We'll attempt the tracking charm here."

He watched as the female Gryffindor retrieved her own wand, as she called upon the other with an _Accio_ charm over the beaded bag she was carrying. A slight rattling emanated, and the other wand shot up from its opening, allowing Granger to swiftly catch it in mid-air.

Granger held up Miss Weasley's wand, as she spoke the incantation with confidence, " _Avenseguim_." A jet of orange light encompassed the wand, as it flew up out from Granger's hand and hovered in the air in front of them. It took a few moments for anything to happen, when suddenly, the wand began to fly off in an easterly direction, still enveloped in the charm's orange glow. Immediately, the four of them took off after the direction it was heading, keeping up a medium pace with the self-directed wand. The wand itself spun through the breeze, twisting, and turning, giving the four no clear indication of where they were heading. Severus watched as the three Gryffindors darted defiantly ahead after the wand, leaving the Potions Master to keep a watchful eye on the grounds behind them in case they were followed. Despite the throbbing pain within his neck, he was still sound in mind and senses, so he used that to remain on guard.

They continued for what seemed like several hours, pausing occasionally to rest, mainly due to Severus' lapse in energy. There wasn't much spoken between the four of them, but once he allowed the trio to venture ahead, they were amidst in conversation. Severus couldn't help but acknowledge the tenacity and determination the Gryffindors adopted. They were far too headstrong for him to truly give credit too, as boneheaded at times they may be, they wore their hearts on their sleeves and continued forth with a determination Severus admired. Obviously, his own Slytherin approach was far different from theirs, but the three of them had overcome so much adversity in their lives since arriving at Hogwarts. It seemed liked an eternity ago now when Severus first laid his eyes upon Potter at the Sorting ceremony in his first year. When he saw nothing more than a copy of James in all his arrogance and pretentious glory. When every single thing Potter did throughout the years was so much like his father, that Severus had difficulty dissociating.

Never in his wildest dreams did he ever have his own change of heart and perception, that Potter grew up as a less likeness of James, and more into a version of Lily that Severus once remembered. And for that, he was grateful. He didn't want to continue hating the boy until his dying breath. Hate was far too much of a burden to bear.

Severus was now growing more wary with each passing moment. The four of them kept a medium pace – the wand was ahead slow enough to keep them from running after it. Several times Potter and Weasley seemed to trip over twisted roots within the dark, earning a scowl from Severus for making too much noise. Once they ventured closer to another clearing, Severus stopped the three within their tracks.

" _Not_ so fast, Gryffindors!" Severus hissed, as the three halted to a complete stop. The wand kept going a few more paces as the four of them watched it fly off. But then, it suddenly stopped as if it hit an invisible barrier, as it dropped to the floor. Potter went off to retrieve it and stared off into the space it hit. Severus felt something wet drip from his nose, and as he went to dab it with the edge of his thumb, he discovered a trickle of blood. He let out a frustrated sigh. Granger had noticed and transfigured a blank piece of parchment from her bag, into a cloth for him to use as she looked concerned.

Hastily snatching the cloth from Granger, he held it to his nose in order to stop the flow of blood. Taking that opportunity during their break in pursuit, Severus leaned up against one of the surrounding oak trees.

"…Are you alright, sir?" Granger asked.

Severus shot a look of frustration at the young woman, " _Never_ better. Just…give me a moment." Severus watched as she re-joined the other two, who were also looking alarmed in his direction, giving him a chance to try and catch his breath. It was getting more difficult to function with each passing day, and it was a challenge to mask the shooting pain he felt in his neck every few hours. The pain itself was manageable, but he anticipated that it will gradually become debilitating for him. He didn't know how long he had left, or when this curse decides to release the quarantined poison again in increments. He knew it was going to happen eventually. It will happen, and yet masking the internal effects from the others was proving even more difficult. Despite the pain he felt, he tried desperately to keep up his strong front. It was bad enough for him that Potter had witnessed him in his more weakened states recently, but no one else needed to see him like this.

He knew Potter was growing worried. He thought that Severus wouldn't notice, but he did. He saw Potter dart his gaze his way occasionally, probably making sure he didn't find Severus collapsed somewhere. Severus already felt like a horrible burden that the boy did not need, and yet he couldn't shake him. The last wish he ever wanted for Potter was to take care of a dying man. He did not want that for him. Or any of them. There was no way that Potter could understand the turmoil this man was enduring. He couldn't. And yet the boy kept trying.

Since his difficulty breathing that morning in the lab, Severus couldn't stop thinking about Potter's speech about not giving up. To be willing to keep going despite the odds, but he often wondered if Potter thought the same when he learned he had to die so that the Dark Lord could be defeated. How the boy managed to harbor that strength to sacrifice himself like that, was beyond Severus' understanding. Harry Potter was indeed brave and courageous. _Reckless_. But selfless and compassionate. Severus could undoubtedly see that, even more so recently. They were more of Lily's traits as he last remembered. The boy was more concerned about Severus than anyone had ever been the course of his life, and he didn't know how to feel about that. It was ironic enough that the boy he spent years hating, had finally come to understand him, and was willing to reach out as a sign of kindness.

Severus' heart, as cold it was, was slowly warming up to the boy. The young man, now that he was. His presence no longer an irritation to the man's personal space, but now he seemed to actually enjoy conversations with him. Who'd ever would have thought?

Not being able to formulate his feelings into words was an impossible task for Severus, so the only small comfort he was able to provide was a reassuring hand to Potter. That was as much as he could muster, and even that was a conflicting gesture within his mind. He didn't really know what he was thinking, but it felt...right. It felt like the humane thing to do when both of them were hurting in their own way. He knew Potter was hurting, deeply so. He could see it in the boy's eyes. It was a feeling all too familiar with him, so in a way, Severus could relate. He just wished he knew how to properly help him. He didn't know how to truly _be_ there for him. But he was trying, at least.

After clearing what he could of the blood, he ushered a cleaning charm on the cloth and stashed it back into the pockets of his robes. At the same time, he withdrew another analgesic potion to subdue the throbbing pain that would likely cause him to be incredibly grumpy later. Once he took the potion, he slowly made his way to the others, relieve relief as the potion kicked in. He often wasn't reliant on healing potions, but only if he felt he struggled enough and couldn't continue without them.

Severus walked up to the tree line and outstretched his hand out where the wand had stopped. Immediately he could feel the pulsating power of the wands that were assembled before them. From his line of vision, he could see the stony surfaces of what appeared to be an old quarry ahead. Some of the quarry was obscured with large oak trees and shrubbery. But most of what he could see had adopted a haze, designed to conceal whatever it was from outside onlookers.

He turned his head to the trio, "Lesson time. Hold your hands out here and tell me what you detect." As the trio looked at each other, one by one they lined up beside Severus, feeling ahead at the area he indicated. Severus watched the faces of the Gryffindors as they were deep in thought. A few moments ticked by without an answer, and Severus looked dully at the trio, " _Ideally_ , sometime tonight."

Naturally, Granger looked at Severus in deep thought, "It feels like an odd kind of warmth. Like there's a fireplace there. Plus…it feels like my hand is being repelled, like a magnet. "

Severus nodded, "And do you recall some of the wards I mentioned with those effects?"

Granger scrunched up her face, " _Protego totalum_ , and… _Homenum revelio_."

"Anything else?"

"It feels like I'm getting bloody zapped, "Weasley quickly retracted his hand, "No idea what that one is, though."

"Very eloquent of you, Mr. Weasley."

" _Fianto_ _duri_ , right?" Potter interjected as he looked hopeful at Severus.

"Correct, Potter. What is the other ward that gives off static?"

" _Cave_ _inimicium_ , "Granger replied.

Severus smirked, "Good. Very attentive. Now follow closely," Raising his wand, he turned to the barrier," _Claustrum_ _revelio_ … _Obex_ _apertum_ … _Ostendo_ _incantatem_ …" With each incantation spoken, a shimmer within the shield rippled, and emitted a series of harmless colored sparks as Severus drew each sigil in conjunction to each.

"Those are detection charms, right?" Granger asked.

Severus clasped his hands behind his back, "Indeed they are, Miss Granger. As you have just witnessed, I have now shown you _both_ methods of ward detection. The latter, as the sparks indicate, are positive detections of said wards."

Granger grinned, "This is wonderful to know, sir. I understand, now."

"I sure don't," Weasley looked frustrated.

"I'll run through them again with you later, Ronald, "Granger smirked.

"Okay, so how to break through them? You haven't shown us that yet, "Potter asked, "If the wand stopped here, then Ginny might be in whatever is beyond that."

"Possibly. _However,_ now that we have stumbled upon an active ward, we will be certain find enemies hidden in there, "Severus dropped his hands to his side, as he looked at Potter, "We'll require more than just the four of us, I assure you."

Potter frowned, "Wait, so you're saying we can't get Ginny them back tonight? You _said_ you were going to help us."

"I said I'll _do_ my best, Potter. We've crossed off _one_ potential location, and we've located another. This one is heavily fortified. We know _enough_ to meticulously plan this. We walk in there, and we may not be able to leave unscathed."

"Granger nodded as she turned to Potter, "Harry, he's right. We won't know what we are dealing with. I _know_ you want to get Ginny back, so do I…But if we are to do this, we have to do it properly."

"I can't bloody believe this!" Weasley threw his hands up in defeat, looking incredibly sour.

"Do you _want_ to come out of there, alive?" Severus responded as he bared his teeth.

Potter looked upset, as he turned away from Granger. Severus could tell the boy was heartbroken, but he had to be honest. They were no good to the prisoner's dead or captured themselves. It was shattering enough for Severus to tell them that news, but It was crucial that they understand what was at stake.

Severus drew in a deep breath, and spoke softly, "Tomorrow, I recommend assembling the DA and I will discuss this plan with everyone present. Perhaps I might even give you an advanced practical lesson in dueling if everyone is willing to cooperate. Trust me when I say, we are ill-prepared to tackle this now."

Potter looked frustrated, "Fine. _Whatever_."

"If _anything_ happens to Ginny in the meantime, I swear, that's on _you_ , "Weasley seethed with anger, as he frowned at Severus. With a final glance, he turned to Granger, "Come on Hermione, let's go." Granger shot a helpless look at Severus before the pair of them Apparated away. Not that Weasley ever had a personal impact on Severus, but those words cut through his heart like a hot knife. He didn't want to let them down, and now he felt like he did.

Potter was left standing with Severus, looking hurt. There was a short silence between the both of them, but Severus could see how devastated Potter was. And that hurt him, too.

"Potter, I want to help you. You cannot afford another Godric's Hollow incident. What if it were Granger or Weasley who gets attacked and taken next? My suggestions are not to _spite_ you. They are to _protect_ you. I – "

"– I _know_. You're right, I know. I just can't help thinking about what they must be doing to her. After what we have just seen at the Misty Dell…" Potter looked away, as his voice quivered. Severus' heart shattered, as he heard a sniffle from the boy, "I-I can't lose her."

Severus didn't know what to do. He was also worried about her safety, but he had to think logically about this. He could not afford to risk any more lives at the expense of a possibility. He spent years as a spy. It was his job to obtain the correct information, and any slight mishap could cost precious lives and likely torture by _Crucio_ as punishment for false information. This was not a risk he was willing to take, and Potter just might go off and get himself killed if he didn't listen to him seriously.

"I understand. _Harry_ – "Potter's gaze redirected to Severus at the call of his first name, "I _cannot_ allow you to run into danger. We could all be killed, and what good will that be to the ones we are to rescue? I spent many years as a spy. Running blindly, headfirst into danger is _against_ my better judgment. Ginny is alive – If they wanted her dead, they would have done it while you were there at Godric's Hollow. If you run in there now and something happened to you, I'd _never_ forgive myself."

A tear tracked down Potter's face, looking defeated. Finally, he nodded without another word.

Severus looked upon the boy's face; he could tell he was struggling to put up a strong front, too. There was a fleeting moment when their eyes met, and Severus could not peer any further. He didn't intend to look any deeper – He did not need Legilimency to know that the boy was having difficulty processing what was happening. But from what he could sense, there was a strange block that Severus could not access without intentional force. A haze, preventing him from looking no further. But he also noticed that Potter had been avoiding his direct gaze since earlier that day. Did Potter feel uncomfortable with Severus' gesture? Or was he hiding something? He wasn't sure if that's why Potter did his best not to look at him today. He couldn't quite understand it.

Severus closed his eyes, feeling a wave of dizziness overcome him, as he outstretched his hand to steady himself against the oak tree. He cursed under his breath. But as Severus heard a panicked shuffle of footsteps beside him, he felt his arm being pulled up and over Potter's shoulder. Severus opened his eyes, barely registering the boy next to him as he started to feel sickly once more.

"I'll Apparate you back to Grimmauld Place, "Potter gently reassured, but Severus could not verbally respond. Instead, he nodded, as they were suddenly whisked away in Disapparition.

They arrived at Grimmauld Place, where Potter assisted him to his bedroom on the second floor and remained there until he was confident that Severus was comfortable. Potter was persistent in having him take an anti-nausea potion, in which Severus didn't protest against this time. He was grateful for the relief, even if that allowed him to rest to some degree. If he anticipated in advance that they'd be traveling to the Misty Dell, he would have brewed some Dreamless Sleep potions. Tonight was definitely going to be rough.

Severus didn't register much else, as he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep as the analgesic potion kicked in, just as Potter closed the door in his bid to preserve whatever shred of dignity he had left.


	27. Raise the Banner

* * *

**NOTES** : Phew! This one was unexpectedly lengthy. But a fun one! A little bit nervous to post this one, but I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

CHAPTER 27: Raise the Banner

Harry Potter should have known that sleep was going to evade him again that night.

They had only returned to Grimmauld Place several hours ago from the Misty Dell, and the clock chimed just past three o'clock in the morning. Since then, Harry lay in bed wide awake, attempting to process what he had just seen at a place that held so much horror in a fight long forgotten. It was crushing to know that such a place existed and concealed so much unnecessary violence and bloodshed ravished on innocent people so long ago. It took Harry far longer to remind himself that there _was_ a great war even years before he was born and that his parents were a part of fighting that war with the newly established Order of the Phoenix. It was hard to imagine that such a time even existed, far beyond his own.

But it wasn't so much as what Harry had seen in the Forest of Dean that night that sent goosebumps throughout his skin. It was more the things that Snape had spoken of, that made him feel saddened and uneasy. He couldn't begin to imagine what had taken place there, and the things the man would have witnessed during his years as a newly appointed Death Eater. Harry had forgotten that he was not much older than he was when he took the Mark, and that of which also reminded him of Draco Malfoy's dilemma in his sixth year, too. Both teenagers easily swayed by the Dark Arts, who paid a devastating price. But both were given impossible choices because the alternative choice was death. He mused and wondered what kind of people they would have become if they were not influenced around them by those who practiced dark magic and worshiped such an evil tyrant.

Harry was ultimately grateful for Ron and Hermione, even despite their occasional moral conflicts, however, both hearts were in the right place. That was enough to keep Harry grounded. Even when Voldemort's soul was imbedded in Harry, it was his friends that kept his heart and his own soul aligned to the right side. Without them, he could have easily traveled the same road as Snape and Draco. As Snape was currently doing, he could only hope that Draco was going to atone for his mistakes without the influence of his father. Snape spent most of his life making up for those mistakes and the endless grief he faced, even still. Harry wondered if Draco was also capable of the same. He, at least, had the support of his mother.

Snape had no one.

Feeling frustrated, Harry rose from his bed and dragged his blanket off from the mattress, as he made his way downstairs to the sitting room. With his wand, he restarted the fireplace, dragged the single sofa chair closer to the fire, and sat down. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he wrapped the blanket around him like a cocoon, feeling the comforting warmth of the fire upon him as he tried to get into a comfortable position. And yet still, he could not sleep. He spent what seemed like an hour just staring into the fire feeling the hollow sadness build up within him, as his eyes prickled with the tears that were threatening to fall. His heart was heavy, and yet it felt it was ripping into different directions, slowly being torn at the seams. Harry couldn't cope with the constant loss within his life. He deeply wished Sirius, or Remus, were here to help him keep a steady mind. Or even Dumbledore, for that matter.

It was a horrid thought to think he would soon be eighteen, and yet, his life just seemed like a constant struggle against the looming darkness. As if he was still unable to take a breath of fresh air. There just seem to be no resolution for him or end in sight, and it seemed that his life was a constant uphill battle. He felt like a hollow shell, being dragged across the sand by string by some unknown assailant. Day by day was all he could plan for, but even that was not guaranteed for him. Neither he nor Snape could focus on rebuilding their lives, as they were still living in their old one. There was no peace for them yet.

The light, as pinprick as it was in that endless tunnel, seemed too far out of reach right now.

As Harry felt another tear finally run down his cheek, he heard a shuffle in the room behind him as Snape entered the room and stopped in his tracks as noticed the Gryffindor by the fire. Snape looked disheveled, still adorned in his dress pants, white dress shirt, and his black traveling cloak wrapped around him much the same as Harry did with his blanket. It was an odd sight to behold, but it seemed as if the Professor had the same idea. Sleep was definitely not on either of their agenda's that night.

Snape raised his eyebrow, " _Hmpf_." He hesitated at first, then turned to leave.

Hastily wiping away the tear down his face, Harry shook his head, "- Uh, I don't mind. You're welcome to stay." Harry watched as the man paused in thought at the request, then eventually sat down at the opposite single sofa by the fire, pulling up the edge of his cloak up to chin in an effort to get warm. The light of the fireplace cast a welcoming glow within the room, which felt far more cozy than his own room. And from what Harry gathered, the man most likely thought the same.

"Look at us – Two moping night owls. And here I thought I had a _ghastly_ sleep schedule, "Snape mused, as he shifted in his seat, looking up at Harry's exhausted face.

"Only just two _really_ messed up people who never seem to sleep."

Snape snorted lightly, "I cannot argue with that. No wonder your homework was always incomplete and poorly written. "

Harry shrugged, "Well, you couldn't expect me to give you the 'You-Know-Who is trying to kill me so I couldn't finish it' excuse. "

" _Still_ not a viable excuse. Ten points from Gryffindor for _cheek_."

"…Ten? Seriously?" Harry pretended to be shocked, but he knew full well that man no longer had that power. But he was sure Snape knew that too.

"Make it twenty. Don't test me, Potter." Snape's expression was deadpan, but it was rather hilarious in the context of things, but he could see the triumphant gleam in the man's eyes.

Now it was Harry's turn to smirk. _Typical_ _Snape_. Well, at least they were both able to diffuse a bad situation with a bit of humor. It was probably far too soon to be joking about Voldemort after the Battle of Hogwarts, but at least neither one of them had to face him again. He was quite certain Snape had a far more colorful choice of words within his vocabulary to express how he felt about that, but he dared not share that.

After a short, comfortable pause, Snape cleared his throat, "About last night, I – " He paused to drew in a deep breath, darting his eyes away from Harry, " – I _apologise_ for taking you to that…place. Neither one of you should have bear witness to that, but I feared if you three went on your own, and Death Eaters were present, they would have ambushed you. Anyone who used to enter unknowingly were unable to leave."

"I know, "Harry hung his head, and looked at the fireplace, "And I'm sorry for dragging you with us when you didn't want to be there. It wasn't easy for you."

"Nothing ever is _easy_."

There was a time when neither of them would back down in pure anger, nor as stubborn as each other. But to think they were now at a point when they were both allowing themselves to be somewhat apologetic with each other. That was monumental in its own right. Harry was usually quite understanding anyway, but Snape…Since when did he willingly apologise like this? And not out of anguish or despair. Guilt, perhaps. But his apology here was because he felt he needed to, and that felt like such a big thing for Harry. Seven years made quite the difference.

Snape and Harry met their gaze briefly, and within that fleeting moment, there was a comfortable, mutual understanding. Despite that neither of them were adept in listening to each other, there was a measure of trust present that never used to be there before. Harry felt like Snape was treating him more like an adult now then ever, even if sometimes his snarkiness was still present. And he seemed to listen to him more now, instead of shooting down everything he said. In fact, Snape was still willing to educate Harry even though he didn't have to. It was as if he actually _wanted_ to pass on his knowledge. After so many years withholding such precious information now was the time where he was finally able to share what he could without consequence. Perhaps his near-death helped him to realise, that he didn't have to play an agent anymore. He didn't have to hide elements of himself, to pretend to be someone everyone should rightfully hate. He was already a bitter, spiteful man. Deep-rooted in his traumatic upbringing, which caused him to become vindictive, cruel, and mean. Not that he ever made himself likable, even though that was half the point. But perhaps he couldn't allow himself to get too attached to people, as that would have made his job far more morally problematic.

But as their strange connection seemed to strengthen over the past three weeks, they were able to understand each other more than they ever could before. Harry was thankful for that. It was disheartening to think he may never have gotten to know him like this if he was not rescued from death that night. Snape would have died, leaving Harry only with his memories, and the negative memories he shared with him.

Harry tilted his head at the Professor, still staring at the flickering flames of the fireplace, "I notice you…don't mention Dumbledore much."

Snape looked slightly uncomfortable, as he pursed his lips, "Perhaps because I ended the man's life? I spent my reign as Headmaster talking to a portrait. That shouldn't require further explanation."

"I should have listened to him when he constantly told me to trust you. He died thinking I didn't believe him, "Harry sighed, as he slumped his shoulders, "He kind of left us both in the dark, didn't he?"

Snape nodded, "Indeed, he did. We had many a debate, especially regarding your wellbeing. I practically had to _beg_ him to give me more information, until he finally told me about the soul fragment embedded within you. _That_ revelation was a shock to me. I spent years trying to keep you alive, only for Albus to present to me the idea of…letting you die." His voice slowly trailed off.

"At least he didn't present you with a storybook, a Golden Snitch, and a Deluminator to be sent on a wild goose chase for nine months, seeking out objects we had no clue about."

Snape's wary eyes widened, "He did _what_?"

Harry sighed, "I suppose he didn't tell you that either? I guess he tried his best to be vague, in the hope we figure it out eventually. Especially as Vol… _You_ -Know-Who, could peer into my mind. We were both at risk of him discovering that."

In bewilderment, Snape ran a slender hand across his face, resting it just under his chin, "Dastardly _fool_. We were both placed in impossible scenarios, Potter."

"Yeah, "Harry nodded, "Yeah, we were."

"…Despite his twisted sense of morals, he – "Snape hesitated in thought, as he sighed, "- really did care a great deal about you. You were like a grandson to him."

"…I know. He just had an odd way of showing it."

After a short pause, Snape's gaze softened, "I don't blame you for wanting to kill me when I ended Albus' life, you know. I wished you knew the real reason. I had to let you – _everyone_ – believe that I was truly with the Dark Lord. It pained me to do so, but that was my ultimatum. It had to be done. It was the _only_ way, "Snape lowered his head, "You may have been a thorn in my side, Potter, but I _never_ wanted you dead."

"I know that _now_ , "Harry reassured. Snape looked appreciative of that, even though it was far too late for such an admittance.

"I made things difficult for you. The vitriol towards you, was…unwarranted. However, you _must_ understand it was also difficult for me, regarding your… _father_ , "Snape made no effort to hide the look of disgust on his face with that last word, "You are allowed to hate me for it. For all that I've done."

"I told you, I don't _hate_ you."

Snape's eyes widened, as he recoiled, "You _should_ , Potter. You have _every_ right to." He was almost pleading. Is that what he expected? Or wanted? Because he feels as if that's what he deserves?

But once again, he found Harry averting his gaze again, which Snape had noticed was happening a little too frequently. Eventually, the man arched his eyebrow when he caught Harry looking at the fireplace once again.

"Potter…look at me." Those words again.

Harry's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't tell him about the transference spell just yet. Deep down he knew he was giving off all the wrong signals, but he couldn't help it. He shifted a little too uncomfortably in his seat until he briefly looked at Snape but did not hold that gaze for long.

Snape raised his chin slightly, "...Something you wish to tell me?"

Harry clenched his jaw, "No, sir. Nothing. Just…stressed. About everything. Ginny, the Death Eaters…" And Snape. _Dammit_. He couldn't possibly tell him that, though. Snape knew that Harry wanted to try and help him find a solution to his illness, but he didn't know how deeply worried he was about it. Snape narrowed his eyes at the boy. He definitely knew something was up, but Harry did the amateur thing and looked away. He knew the man could easily burst into his mind, and if that involved direct eye contact, well…he was desperate. No sanctuary was going to help him here.

Even though he was purposely avoiding his line of sight, he could practically sense Snape staring at him. Almost willing for him to look at him once more. Eventually, he heard a heavy sigh from the man, hearing a shuffle as he rose from his seat. After a short pause, Snape spoke quietly, "Potter, I must request that you summon your DA for a practical session later. If we are to tackle the Quarry, I want you all well-prepared. Now…get some rest." Snape didn't say another word as he made his way towards the exit door but stopped at the doorway, lingering for a few more moments, until the man finally made his way to his own room.

Removing his glasses and setting them aside on the armrest, he buried his head in his hands, as he curled up further within the chair like a domesticated cat. Within half an hour, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep as he dreamt of flying with Ginny on the Quidditch pitch both chasing after an elusive Golden Snitch. Just the two of them. But once Harry finally awoke in the light of the morning, an incredible idea sparked within his mind.

He filed out of the sitting room and made his way to the empty kitchen where he found Kreacher sweeping the floors. It was barely shy of eleven in the morning, but he helped himself to the pot of coffee on the table.

"Mr. Harry Potter, "Kreacher grumbled as Harry entered the room.

"Morning, Kreacher. Have you seen Ron and Hermione?" Harry sat down at the table and retrieved a chocolate chip muffin from the table.

The aged house-elf looked up at Harry and nodded, "They were here earlier, then left. I heard them mumble something about a potion…"

_Ah. They must have headed to Hogwarts_. Harry considered sneaking out to join them, but he wasn't in the mood to be suffering Snape's wrath if he did. Now he understood how Sirius must have felt, trapped in this house. Well, at least Harry was no longer Undesirable Number One. But still high up on the enemy's target list.

"Thanks, "Harry thanked the old elf, before taking a sip of his coffee and digging into his muffin.

Eventually, he retrieved the master DA coin and stared at it in deep thought. Ushering the incantation, he set the time and location and sent its message. Rallying up the troops for a training session was going to be an interesting affair, no doubt about that. Severus Snape was a skilled dueller. Perhaps he wanted the students to fine-tune their skills on the field. Participating in the Battle of Hogwarts far from qualified them to be skilled fighters. Snape certainly knew that. Harry himself knew that his skills were sloppy and sometimes sporadic, and left much to be desired. He really did want to learn more and be better and considering the number of spells at the Professor's magical repertoire, he couldn't think of anyone else worth learning from. The thought of that, actually made Harry rather excited.

Harry initially suggested that they would utilise the sitting room of Grimmauld Place, as they were lacking in adequate training space. But he was surprised to find that Snape was more inclined to utilise Hogwarts and take advantage of the lack of students and some of the faculty at the time. With the Aurors sent away, the risk of Snape being discovered by them was minimal. Not wanting to argue with the idea, Harry told Snape about the Room of Requirement, which would be ideal for further cloaking them. With that plan, Harry changed the location on the master coin. But that left another worry.

What if Snape decided to venture back down into the dungeons to his lab? They couldn't afford to have him find out about the curse transference spell yet until they were ready to tell him.

_Bollocks._

Once Harry retreated to his room, he focused on sending a Patronus message to Hermione who was currently at Hogwarts with Ron to warn them about the change in location. Casting his stag Patronus, he sent his message to Hermione: _'Location change. DA meeting at Hogwarts soon. Snape's idea. Hide the potions!'_ Once he was satisfied with that, he watched the stag's ethereal smoky form disappear through the wall and disintegrate, feeling relieved with this new mode of communication.

As midday approached, the pair – As Harry urged Snape to use the Cloak – departed Grimmauld Place, and Apparated just outside of the warded barrier of Hogwarts. Together, they entered the grounds and made their trek through the familiar corridors all the way up to the seventh floor. Harry felt slightly uneasy being here, as it became a little too triggering for him. All he could envision were scared students bolting to safety, screaming in terror, on that fateful dark day.

They stopped at the blank wall at the seventh-floor corridor, as Snape removed the Cloak.

He gave Harry a quizzical look, "Potter, I would have thought six years of gallivanting through these corridors, you would have an _inkling_ of where to go. There is no room here."

Harry smirked, "Wait for it."

The pair stood staring at the wall when suddenly, the familiar black double doors of the magical room began to appear before their eyes. Harry glanced back at Snape, who looked rather impressed. Once the doors were fully materialised, Harry pushed through them revealing the familiar room they once held DA lessons in. Feeling a sense of familiarity and sentimentality, Harry felt glad to be here once more. Snape walked through the door after Harry, with black cloak billowing behind him in all its glory. It was rather amusing to see his Professor observe these new surroundings and watched as he approached the bookcases along the wall, which contained many textbooks on defensive spells and theories. The man ran his slender hand against each binding of the book, giving each a subtle nod of approval as he scanned the title of each one. He had never heard of this room before, and when Harry mentioned it earlier, he thought he was lying. There was a twisted sense of victory in proving the man wrong.

"Hmm. So, _this_ was where you and your fellow rule-breakers carried out those defense lessons?" Snape gave a subtle tight-lipped smile, as he turned back to Harry, " _Intriguing_. However did you happen upon it?"

"Dobby told us about it, "Harry grinned, "When we needed a place in our fifth year…Well, let's just say, the room called back."

" _Impressive_. I surely could have used a room like this in my youth. How does it operate?"

"It changes to what you need at the time. We needed a practice space, so this is what it gave us, "Harry threw his arms up as he explained, "…This was also where the students disappeared to when you were Headmaster. The Room looked after them." Almost on cue, several wooden stools popped up in the center of the room awaiting its inhabitants.

Snape raised his eyebrows, "Ah. That explains their unusual absence." The man frowned as the furniture began appearing, almost mesmerized.

Whilst Snape was observing every inch of the room, the door to the Room opened, and familiar faces began to spill inside immediately penetrating the comfortable silence that fell upon the pair. Luna was the first to arrive, happily making her way through the doors with an excited spring in her step. Following closely by Ron and Hermione who walked in holding hands. At this point Hermione had given Harry a brief nod, letting him know that she received and understood his Patronus message earlier. Eventually, the Patil twins made their way through the door followed by Dean who was engaged in conversation with Katie and Seamus, likely about his recent stay at St. Mungos. Neville and Hannah arrived shortly after, chatting away among themselves, with George trailing behind him looking heartbreakingly dismal. Last to arrive were Angelina Johnson and Susan Bones – both whom Harry believed had abandoned their coins in the first meeting that Harry organised not too long ago. He knew that George had been in recent contact with Angelina, so it was possible he had relayed the message to them. There were a few others who were not present, most noticeably Cho and Dennis Creevey, who had since forfeited their coin. And of course, Ginny and Lee.

Soon enough, Dumbledore's Army was – _almost_ fully - reunited once again.

Once everyone was present, a few of them began to notice Severus Snape in the room with them, causing a few more uncomfortable glances. Harry knew this was a challenge for them, and he could understand how difficult it would be to face this man again, least of all having him instruct the group again. But this was a time to set aside all differences and unite to a common goal once more. Harry's fellow classmates began to slowly assemble before the Professor, as each took a seat. A stern look from Snape was enough to cause the students to fall silent, as he stood confidently with his hands neatly behind his back. His presence always carried a sense of intimidation and authority, and frankly, Harry was relieved he himself didn't have to instruct this class today.

Snape raised his chin and looked towards the direction of Dean, "Welcome back Mr. Thomas. "

Dean nodded in acknowledgment, "Thanks, Professor."

Standing idly in front of the group, Snape pursed his lips eyeing each teenager carefully, "You might be wondering why you were summoned _here_ at Hogwarts, rather than Grimmauld Place. That is for two reasons. _One_ , I must request your assistance to embark on a rescue mission to retrieve Miss Ginny Weasley and Mr. Lee Jordon, among others. And _two_ , I want to see if your skills in precision are up to par," Snape drew in a deep breath, "Important matters first, I will start off by discussing our _primary_ dilemma -"

Before Snape could continue, he was cut off by the whirling sound of magic forming, as suddenly, an obnoxiously large blackboard seemed to materialise directly beside him. There were a few chuckles among the group when they realised the Room must have sensed an upcoming grueling lesson. Snape was rather amused, as he simply tilted his head at the new object.

Finally turning back to the group, he bluntly continued, "…As I was saying…another enemy dwelling was discovered last night. Heavily warded and within a _dangerously_ unstable area. Due to a positive indication of a tracking spell, we have reason to believe that _two_ of your peers are held captive there. With careful planning, we should be able to retrieve them without further mishaps. The unfortunate incident that took place at Godric's Hollow a few days ago, will come as a careful warning to you all."

"Can't the Ministry organise a team? Why us?" Hannah Abbott questioned.

Snape turned to the Hufflepuff, "Because due to said incident, Death Eaters have been using Polyjuice potion to pose as Aurors. If you had listened, I had already mentioned this at the previous meeting. Minister Shacklebolt is doing his best to eradicate the imposters. Not to mention the Aurors that _are_ available, are dwindling in numbers both due to loss of life, or suffering the effects of long-term control of the _Imperius_ Curse by You-Know-Who."

"So where do you think they are, Professor?" Padma asked.

Snape looked at the Ravenclaw, and began to pace the front of the room, "They are located at an old quarry, in the Forest of Dean. The wards have already been scouted, so I should be able to bring them down quickly, so no time is wasted. "

"I know the one. The Tintern Quarry? That has been de-commissioned for years, "Seamus spoke, as he crossed his arms over his chest, "Ever since the First War, last I heard."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, that's right. Since the Battle at Hogwarts, some of the Aurors moved the Dementors there and locked them down with a magical shield. I know because I helped them do it."

" _What_?" Ron shot a confused looked at Dean, "The Aurors?" He looked at Snape, "What's the bet that some of _those_ Aurors were not Aurors at all?"

"So, the Death Eaters took hold of the Quarry once most of the Dementors were captured?" Neville looked confused, "I know the Ministry tried to round them up, but…Does that mean the Ministry still think they have control of it?"

"Of _course_ , "Hermione interjected, "Once the Aurors relocated the Dementors, the _remaining_ Death Eaters took control, using Polyjuice to disguise themselves as Ministry staff. They didn't start using Polyjuice potion to finish the job until _after_ the Battle of Hogwarts. The Ministry still think they still have control of the site," She glanced back at Snape, "…Right, sir?"

Snape gave a curt nod, "Seems highly likely. The Quarry, since de-commissioned, appears to be a secure enough location for such creatures. The Ministry must have presumed they still had control over them. I believe they have since been eliminated from Azkaban, furthermore, they are _still_ under Death Eater control as soon as they were relocated." Snape paused briefly in thought, as the group watched him closely, "That causes a… _different_ dilemma for the retrieval. A distraction will be needed because we now have more than one enemy to worry about. Regrettably. "

"But Death Eaters can't conjure a Patronus to manipulate them? So how – "Katie spoke.

" _That_ is untrue, Miss Bell, because I _can_ conjure one, "Snape answered coolly, as he ignored the curious murmurs within the room, " _Most_ cannot because a Patronus is made from pure, _good_ , magic. However, the Dementors answer to those Death Eaters, so they do not require such magical forms of manipulation. They have no need for a Patronus. They ally together."

"I have an idea, and I think it'll work in our favor. I thought about it this morning, "Harry finally spoke, after careful consideration, "A good portion of us are skilled flyers, right? We quite _literally_ , have an entire Gryffindor Quidditch team here. Being a Quarry, it will be difficult to get down there on foot. Therefore, we can attack and distract them from above, while the other half can cover the ground."

Seamus nodded with a smirk as he looked over at George, "Hey, George, do you have any more of those fancy fireworks?"

George managed to perk up a little and muster up a small grin, "Yeah. I do, actually."

Snape gave a light snort, "No wonder Professor McGonagall asked her students to blow up a bridge." He turned back to Harry, after he paused in deep thought, " _Yes_ , Potter. That plan has…potential. Whilst the flyers are being _aerodynamic_ , the rest of us can pursue the Quarry on foot, repelling Dementors and attacking the Death Eaters stationed there. I do not know how many enemies we are dealing with, but we _must_ give them the illusion that our numbers are far greater than we are. That will deter them off-guard." He turned to Dean, "Mr. Thomas, since you've been there, I require an adequate visual of the Quarry."

Snape motioned to the blackboard, as Dean hastily stood up and began to scribble away what he could of the area as far as his knowledge of the location could reach. The group spent the following hour discussing ports of entry and allocating tasks to certain people to allow for a smooth retrieval process. It was quite an in-depth discussion, and one Harry was thankful that Snape was able to lead. It was quite engaging once every single person in the room became involved in the planning, and with each idea, they began to feel more confident. Snape himself seemed to be oddly pleased with this. After their Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons with Snape in their sixth year, he knew that the man was driven to teach them useful information that will help them succeed. Admittedly, he actually enjoyed it when Snape taught that subject, even despite their usual thick tension, because it was exactly the things Harry wanted to learn. The man taught practically, and that's how Harry was able to learn best. But as Harry was observing Snape discussing strategies and dueling, he noticed the man looked at ease now. He was in his element. After all, he always wanted to teach this type of subject, but now, Defence Against the Dark Arts just developed a whole new meaning. Armed with Snape's own personal knowledge, and not what the curriculum wanted him to teach, he was free to give them whatever education that would deem far more appropriate and valuable. And as much as some of the students still weren't completely accepting of Snape, Harry could tell that they seemed to enjoy this meeting, too. Snape was thorough and yet committed to their safety. That much was obvious.

Harry couldn't help but smile.

Once they concluded the plan, Snape began to run through alternative solutions in case things went awry, which resulted in several heated discussions. But eventually, they rested upon a collective understanding without any unnecessary conflict. He enforced that they remain in pairs, and he didn't want to catch them 'running off by themselves', as he witnessed during the incident at Godric's Hollow. Drumming that thought into their head, his words were met with nods of understanding amongst the peers. Harry was glad, for once, that Seamus managed to keep his demeaning thoughts to himself this time. He would have quickly realised that they would all be royally screwed if they didn't have Snape willing to guide them in the right direction.

If Harry, Ron, and Hermione attempted to go the Quarry unaided, then they would have surely got themselves in a complicated mess. Snape was right to recall them and discuss a proper plan, _with_ calvary.

Then Snape jumped back into teacher mode once more and ran through basic healing spells as tools that they should absolutely know and encouraged them to take initiative when on the field. Once he was done, he shifted the blackboard all the way to the back of the room with a casual flick of his wand, as he turned back to the group awaiting the next instructions.

Standing tall with his arms neatly behind his back, he raised his chin, " _Everybody_ stand up. _NOW_. Line up in the center of the room, and withdraw your wands, "Snape began to bark out orders, within his commanding baritone voice, as one by one, the room's occupants shuffled around to stand in a line as instructed. Once he was satisfied, he continued, "Before I separate you all into pairs, I want to be certain you know how to send colored signals. Raise your hand if you do." One by one the students slowly began to raise their hand, as Snape eyed each person individually. He gave a single nod, "Good. Hands _down_. Now I want to make this _absolutely_ clear. Once we retrieve the missing, I will send up a _single_ white spark. That means the mission to free the prisoners is complete. Meet back at Headquarters at Grimmauld Place _immediately_ following. If I send up _two_ white sparks, that means we are in trouble and outnumbered. Flee immediately back to Headquarters, no arguments. Following so far?"

There were collective nods and responses of "Yes, sir" from the students before him.

Snape continued, "If you are in danger and need immediate assistance, send up a _red_ spark. Anyone who is close enough is required to aid them, if not myself. If you or one of you are injured, send up a _green_ spark and I will do my best to get to you. Have I made myself clear?"

There were further responses of nods and "Yes, sir", which seemed well received.

A short pause came between them as Snape pursed his lips. He drew in a sharp breath, "Remember, our primary goal is to _rescue_ the prisoners. We shall not linger there more than necessary. Now – Get into pairs and line up on each end of the room, _quickly_. Potter, with me."

There was a mad shuffle of feet, as everyone within the room began to assemble in pairs, each stationing themselves on either side of the room facing each other. Once they were ready, Snape raised his wand and conjured four large bludger-sized multicolored balls for each pair and bewitched them so that were hovering in the center above them close to the ceiling. Allocating Harry as his unfortunate partner, Snape instructed him to stand at the opposite end, with their own set of targets. The other students turned to Snape at the front of the room, awaiting instructions.

Snape raised his voice, as he addressed the class, "Let's start with some _simple_ target practice. Those on Potter's end of the room will send a set of sparks to their opponent. Those on _my_ end of the room must deflect it to the moving targets above using a simple shield charm to redirect the attack. I don't want to see any mindless arm-waving or yelling. I want to see precision and concentration, with non-verbal spells _only_. Do _not_ use hexes or curses for this session. Allow me to demonstrate." With a cunning smirk, Snape turned to Harry, dropping at a battle stance with his wand at the ready. "Now Potter, fire _four_ sparks simultaneously in my direction."

With a slight hesitation, Harry drew in a breath as he raised his wand and steadied his stance. In short bursts, Harry fired off four red sparks in Snape's direction which spun in the air to seek its target. In four very swift arm motions, Snape blocked each spark and redirected it to the moving balls above. On impact, all four separate targets exploded in the same red sparks like fireworks, and within seconds, the balls re-materialised once more and began to move again.

Snape turned back to the class, " _Proceed_!" His voice bellowed, as immediately the students began. Those on Harry's side of the room sent what looked like a wave of multi-colored sparks at their opponents, and all that could be heard was the simultaneous sounds of the balls exploding, and sparks hitting at multiple points in the room. Those on the offense sent bombardments of harmless sparks to their partner, as those on the defense either dodged the attack or successfully cast their shield spell. Some spells hit the opponent as they delayed their shield charm. Whilst some spells got blasted to the back of the room, accidentally shattering one of the glass panes on the back wall.

Seamus sent a barrage of green sparks at Dean, which ended up exploding at his feet before he could put up a shield charm. "Mr. Finnigan, your aim is _dreadful_. Try again!" Snape bellowed at Seamus, who tried again, this time allowing Dean to make a successful block, though unfortunately missing the targets above.

Hermione was sending an – almost comical – barrage of red sparks at Ron, who spent most of the time cursing out loud, and earning a scolding from Snape. Ron was able to successfully place a shield charm from Hermione's attacks, but he re-directed the sparks within multiple areas of the room, almost hitting Dean beside him. "Sorry, mate!" Ron yelled, "Hermione, ease up, will you." Hermione grinned, victorious.

Neville, paired with Luna, was quite an unusual sight. Neville was tasked with the sparks, which he managed to accomplish rather well, but Luna was transfixed on the pair beside her and wasn't quite paying attention. She was hit several times, earning frequent apologies from Neville. "Pay _attention_ , Miss Lovegood! Keep your eyes on your opponent," Snape remarked.

George was firing sparks at Angelina, who was able to deflect the attacks and hit two of the balls above. "Mr. Weasley adjust your stance. Steady. _Good_ , Miss Johnson, but aim your shield a little higher."

Hannah was on the offense, and Susan's deflected aim was all over the place. She managed to hit one ball above, but the other sparks were redirected to Neville and Padma, who had to jump out of the way, barely having time to react. Snape cursed under his breath, " _Concentrate_ , Miss Bones. Your movements are far too sporadic."

Parvati was going quite well, deflecting her sister Padma's flurry of sparks, and was the first one to hit all four targets. "Well done, Miss Patil. "Snape was definitely pleased on that one.

Once Snape had seen enough, he had the pairs swap roles, and he observed their movements once again. This time around made equal progress. Hermione's shield charm was flawless, but her aim was slightly off. Seamus was able to redirect most of his attacks at the targets, much to Snape's relief. Neville, although slightly nervous with Snape keeping a close eye, he managed to hit a few targets, which Snape definitely wasn't expecting. Padma's movements were precise and fluid, along with Hannah equally. George was struggling to concentrate a little but was able to hit a few of the targets above. They did seem to improve over time, and Snape decided to increase the difficulty and removed a target, leaving the remaining balls to pick up speed above them.

While the others were occupied, Snape instructed Harry to practice his shield charm. Harry braced himself, as the Professor fired a barrage of harmless green sparks in his direction, leaving Harry to physically dodge one, and redirect the others to the targets above. One target exploded, and the other spark flew right to the ceiling. "Try again, Potter. _Adjust_ your footing." Attempting another round, Harry was able to repel two more and hit one target above, but he wasn't quick enough, and one spark hit his shoulder. He swore under his breath as it gave him a small electric shock. " _Too_ slow. Try again." Snape fired again, and this time, Harry was able to deflect all three sparks and hit two targets this time. " _Close_. Try again." Snape fired again, this time sending green sparks at different height intervals, further challenging Harry. Clenching his jaw, Harry was able to successfully redirect the sparks, finally hitting all targets separately. Snape looked pleased.

After a short while, Snape raised his wand and eliminated all the targets overhead. On that cue, the students lowered their wands and turned to him, as silence befell the room. With his hands clasped behind him, he glanced at each student individually, acknowledging each and every one of them. "It is _important_ to use your opponent to an advantage. Redirecting their attacks either back at them or at another target can give you the upper hand as you catch them off-guard. The skills you displayed today will… _suffice_. But I suggest you ensure that your attacks be precise and clean. Shield charms are, nevertheless, simple. They will save your life when used _efficiently_. Now, as discussed earlier. Meet at the designated location at midnight. Do _not_ be late! "Snape paused, as his words were met with nods of understanding, "…Class _dismissed_."

One by one, the others silently departed the Room of Requirement leaving Harry, Snape, Hermione, and Ron behind.

Exasperated, Hermione turned to Snape, "Do you think we should we let Professor McGonagall know?"

"Once she discovers I'm leading her lions into battle, then she would without a doubt, forbid it," Snape answered passively.

"I sure hope we can pull this off, "Ron exclaimed, looking rather anxious.

"Considering you were able to handle yourselves well at the Battle of Hogwarts, you have the _willpower_ to do what needs to be done. As long as you all have listened to my advice, then there is a chance we can all escape unscathed tonight, "Snape responded, as he placed his hands in his lower robe pockets, "Careful planning can save lives."

Once their meeting concluded, the four of them departed Hogwarts back to Grimmauld Place and further discussed their plans for the mission that night. Kreacher had prepared a large dinner of roast turkey, potato bake, and an assortment of grilled vegetables, and for the first time, Severus Snape finally joined the three Gryffindors at the table. Snape was usually hesitant in doing such a thing, but Harry had requested he dine with them, at least in his way of letting the man know that his presence was welcome.

After Snape gave his time to teach them all today and plan with them, it was the least Harry could do to extend his gratitude.

If this plan was successful, Ginny could be back with them tonight.


	28. A Rocky Pursuit

* * *

**NOTES** : This one was a little nuts to plan. For a visual reference, you are welcome to google Tintern Quarry, as it is a legit place in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, England. It actually closed in 1981 and is used as a rock-climbing location. Coincidentally (maybe?), 1981 was also the end of the First Wizarding War.

* * *

CHAPTER 28: A Rocky Pursuit

The upcoming rendezvous was no doubt a nervous affair. Harry wasn't used to having a plan as detailed as they discussed earlier that day because usually he and his friends would jump straight in and plan as they went. Knowing that Snape was strict and thorough, admittedly, made Harry a little nervous. The plan was well thought out, and Harry didn't want to let him down by completely messing it up. A small blunder would risk the lives of the prisoners within Death Eater's grasp. They really had no idea what they were in for, but Harry was glad he had asked for his assistance because he was certain anything that Harry would plan for would have fallen apart instantly. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever foresee Severus Snape leading Dumbledore's Army on a daring rescue mission.

Once midnight arrived, the four usual Grimmauld Place occupants departed and made their way to the meeting location without a word from either of them. Awkwardly clutching his Firebolt, Harry Apparated and was soon reunited with the others within the Forest of Dean, hidden away in the canopy of the trees just beyond the magical barrier. Snape chose the same meeting location as when they departed the previous night. This spot was well-concealed within the surrounding, thick oak trees, and thus far was safe. Once the barrier would be deconstructed, the Tintern Quarry was exposed. They didn't know what lay ahead once the wards were removed. Snape was careful to plan for an alternative.

There were a few last-minute changes in their plan once they arrived. Most noticeably, the sudden extra people within their midst once the entirety of the DA arrived. As Harry approached his fellow classmates waiting anxiously for their arrival, they were taken aback by the new familiar additions. As soon as George Apparated within view, he was shortly followed by most of the Weasley family, minus Charlie. Molly looked livid, with Arthur in tow, arriving together. Bill and Fleur arrived a few seconds later hand-in-hand, followed by Percy shortly after. Both George and Bill were eagerly clutching their broom.

George gave a lopsided grin, "…Our battalion has just increased."

"Mum! Dad! What are you doing here?" Ron looked shocked, as he peered over at George, "What – "

Molly placed her hands on her hips, "- Well, when I saw George try his best to sneak out some of those fireworks of his, with his broomstick in other hand, I had an _inkling_ you were all planning something again. I was _close_ to grounding him then and there!"

"Worst interrogation ever," George looked offended, as he looked at Ron, "I didn't go quite as incognito as planned. I fell a bit out of practice." George shuffled his feet and uncharacteristically looked at the floor. His mixed expression made Harry's heart drop, as he realised in silent horror that Fred was not with him. Since the loss of Fred, poor George seemed to have lost any spark he had previously. That usual mischievous grin was nowhere to be found on the Weasley, and his eyes now seemed devoured of the joy he previously shared with his twin. Harry was rather surprised he was willing to join them on this mission, but he knew he couldn't stay home and anxiously await the fate of his sister. Another loss of a Weasley would devastate them all.

Arthur peered at Snape, looking absolutely furious, "Severus…I _should_ have known!" Suddenly, the Weasley patriarch withdrew his wand and pointed it threateningly at Snape, inches from his face. " _What_ do you think you're doing? Leading them all out here like this?!"

Snape didn't flinch at the gesture and remained unmoving. He frowned, as his lips twisted into a snarl, and stared directly into Arthur's eyes, "Lower your wand, you _idiot_."

Arthur refused to obey, thrusting the wand closer to the man's face, "The Ministry is handling this!"

Snape raised his eyebrow, "Are they, now? Yes, well, your _precious_ Ministry is still in scraps still, is it not? Your Aurors are dwindling; imposters among them. Yes, Arthur, I am _well_ aware of the Ministry's predicament."

"You _shouldn't_ be leading these kids out here, Severus. They've been through enough!"

"They are no longer kids anymore, or do you need a vision check?" Snape narrowed his eyes, clearly unfazed still by the wand pointed at his face, "I didn't _force_ them against their will. They are free to leave if they so wish. But if you want your daughter back _alive_ , then this is the only way we are going to accomplish that. _Now_. Lower. Your. Wand."

"It's alright, Mr. Weasley, "Harry stood between them, with a careful hand outstretched at Arthur, urging him to reconsider, "We _have_ a plan. We're going to get Ginny back, and we _need_ his help. Frankly, we could use your help, too."

Arthur refused to take his eyes off Snape before him. But after a few moments of what appeared to be an impressive stare-down between the two men, Harry watched as he finally faltered, and slowly lowered his wand. "Harry, I sure hope you know what you're doing. Because I _don't_ trust him."

"Yeah well, I _do_ , "Harry defended, as he looked at Snape whose expression seemed to subtly soften by the Gryffindor's remark.

Ron took a step towards his father, "It's alright, dad. We can handle this. With more of us, we stand a better chance."

"For _goodness_ sake, Arthur, please behave!" Molly hissed as she turned to her husband, shooting him a look of stern warning. Once Arthur drew in a deep breath to try and settle his nerves, he eventually gave a curt nod despite his distaste. Looking relieved at her husband's compliance, Molly turned eagerly towards Snape, "Severus. What would you have us do?"

Gathering the group for a last-minute change in orders, Snape re-arranged some of the assigned pairs to accommodate the additional Weasley's, taking in those extra flyers with a broomstick. Snape was careful in his planning and made sure to pair any two who would complement each other in skill and communication. Being able to observe them during their target practice, gave him some indication at their skill level. But each person had an important role, and it was imperative that they perform to the best of their ability as proficient and swiftly as possible. Snape also made sure that at least one person among the pair was skilled with the Patronus charm, in order for them to repel the Dementors while their partner forged ahead. Once Snape ran through the plan with their new additions, the group responded in nods and murmurs of ' _Got it_ ' and ' _Yes, sir_ '.

With the final chess pieces in play, Harry watched as Snape finally strode up towards the magical barrier and began the process of deconstructing the wards with his wand raised, and arms outstretched. The Professor whispered the counter-spells under his breath, as the group waited anxiously for their signal to proceed. When a light crackling emanated from the now broken wards, they knew it was time, as the barriers became no more. Turning to face the group, Snape gave a curt nod, allowing four pairs to start making their way to their allocated locations in the Quarry, which Snape had decided to split into four quadrants – North, South, East, and West. Each chosen pair were to be sent to each to point, to set up the fireworks – curtesy of George Weasley, in honor of Fred – And await further signal.

The Patil twins Apparated to West point, to set up. Seamus and Hannah went East. Neville and Luna went South. With Hermione and Susan taking up the North point. Harry approached Snape, as the pair of them tried to get a better visual of the Quarry, and neither one could barely see the pairs working away on their respective sides. That was a good sign because from their vantage point, neither could see any Death Eater in their vicinity. But Harry was more worried about the Dementors because they could not yet be seen, or felt. There was no mistaking the icy chill when they approached, and Harry could sense neither of that. So, there was some measure of relief.

Harry handed the Invisibility Cloak to Snape, who looked at the Gryffindor grimly, as he gently retrieved the mystical object without a word. Snape was insistent that he approach the center of the Quarry solo, and with his own head start, to give the others a better chance. With the Cloak, he could get close enough to get a good vantage point without being discovered. Harry had swapped his Master DA coin with Snape temporarily because it would be Snape's signal that they would be waiting for. With a final nod of confirmation at Harry, Snape placed the Cloak over his head, as he departed and disappeared within the shadows, leaving Harry to lead the remaining members once it was time.

There were seven flyers – Harry, Ron, George, Katie, Bill, Dean, and Angelina. Each once mounted their broomsticks as they awaited Snape's signal in agonising silence. Grasping the coin within his hand, Harry waited anxiously for further instructions. Snape's role was to get as close as possible to the center as their scout and relay the enemy information directly to them before he signals the ambush for the others to set off the explosives as a distraction and intimidation tactic. The man was meticulous in his timing and made sure to enforce that they wait only for his sign. If either of them proceeded prematurely, then that would ruin the entire plan. The idea was to minimise allied casualties and free the prisoners, however many there were. Ginny and Lee included. Retrieving them was first priority. Once they completed that task, then they were all meant to flee to safety. It didn't matter how matter Death Eaters they could take down. So long as they were able to at least distract or disarm them, then that would still work in their favor.

Harry's visual of the Quarry was not a clear one. From their position amongst the tree line hidden in the shadows, the Quarry looked like one giant crater: stone paths weaving inwards to the center like a spiral pattern. There were some overgrown hedges and greenery scattered around it's outside, providing adequate cover, but he could not see within the site. He knew once he was airborne, he could get a better look. For now, it was really all just wild speculation.

And yet still, no enemies could be seen. One part of Harry deeply wished that to be true, so they could all leave unharmed. But no enemies would mean no prisoners, and therefore, he couldn't bring Ginny back home. Harry closed his eyes, trying to envision his sanctuary with Ginny by his side, in his desperate bid to calm his rising fear. Being here in the Quarry about to divebomb into enemy territory, was not what he hoped for, but if it meant rescuing Ginny, then that was all that mattered to him. He patted down the side of his jacket, making sure that Ginny's wand was still tucked secured underneath.

After what seemed like almost an hour, Harry grew worried hoping with every fiber of his being that Snape didn't get himself caught. There was still no signal from his coin, and a sickening feeling in his stomach began to rise within, causing his anxiety to build up. His chest grew tight, as dread gripped him. He felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder and looked beside him to find Ron with the same worried expression. He must have sense Harry's slight panic, and if Ron weren't there, he would have surely abandoned his post and pursue ahead anyway.

But then suddenly, Harry's coin vibrated within his hand. On its surface were two sets of numbers: Twenty-nine and ten. Twenty-nine enemies, and ten prisoners. Harry's heart fluttered as he drew in a deep breath. That was signal one, which in turn, set off the next chain of events.

Signal two were the simultaneous rockets that were now set alight, spiraling out and diving into the Quarry. Several explosions happened all at once all around the rock formations, like some magnificent new years display. The small rockets exploded into smaller ones, as they dispersed leaving behind a multi-colored trail of smoke and sparks. One firework exploded and shaped itself into a giant red sparky animated lion, in honor of Gryffindor – which Harry figured was George's idea – as he could only imagine Snape eye-rolling at the feat by the notorious prankster. The fireworks themselves were only meant to act as a distraction, and they surely did its job. Because from that point on, it was utter mayhem.

With the second signal now active, the flyers kicked off from the ground as they darted towards the Quarry, with Harry leading the way. As soon as they reached the center, they dispersed towards their allocated quadrants as instructed by Snape. Once he was airborne, he was finally able to get a better visual of the ground below. The location, most noticeably, looked abandoned due to its overgrowth which also provided the perfect set-up for a Death Eater hideout. As Harry flew over for the first time, he noticed a thick outline of bushes and small trees lining the stony pathway spiraling to the center below, trying to reclaim the site as its own since being decommissioned many years ago. Due to the overgrowth, it was clear that Muggles hadn't returned to the site for many years, so it left Harry wondering how long Death Eaters have been utilising it.

The role of the flyers was to draw attention away from the prisoners, attacking from above, as those on the ground worked to distract the enemies. This left Snape to make his way down to the prisoners using the Invisibility. Well, that was easier said then done, if not for the Dementors who began to ascend from their stony perches and convened on their location like a moth to a flame. Once the pyrotechnic distractions were unleashed, Harry could see multiple duels taking place below him, as his friends entered the fight. A few red hexes were sent flying in Harry's direction, and he pulled up on the broom immediately, as they flew inches past his face. He spun around sharply on his broom to encounter his first Dementor racing in his direction. All he could hear was the raspiness of the foul creature before him. The moonlight barely cast enough to illuminate it, and now it just looked like a shadow chasing after him.

Clutching his Firebolt tightly with one sweaty hand, he raised his wand with the other, " _EXPECTO_ _PATRONUM_!" A large misty white stag burst from the tip of his wand, as he pranced around the night sky around the wizard and bolted ahead towards the shadowy phantom. Its antlers collided with the creature, as the Dementor recoiled and spiraled towards the ground hissing at it was overpowered. The stag began its chase, doing its best to repel to it. Once that creature was taken care of, he made a dive to the bottom of the Quarry.

Ron sped past him on his right side, pursuing a Death Eater who seemed to be in flight using a broomstick. Harry watched as Ron fired off a curse, narrowly missing the enemy, as the pair of them disappeared into the night. But Harry continued to redirect his broom towards the ground, and it was here where he was able to get a better view of the combatants below.

Harry spotted Arthur and Percy locked into a fight between two other Death Eaters on a ledged path below, as Percy fired an _Incendio_ Charm towards the enemies. The jet of flames missed the targeted Death Eater and set the tree behind them alight. Flying closer to them, Harry cast a hex under his breath, exploding the ground beneath the Death Eater's feet, catching them off guard. He heard a shout of "Thanks Harry!" from Arthur, as the Chosen One sped off once again, leaving the pair regaining the upper hand.

Seamus and Hannah, from what Harry could see, were occupied with several Dementors on their tale. A silver fox and an ocelot Patronus was sent forth and attacked the shadowy creatures within their vicinity, but as Harry squinted further through the darkness, he could the approaching figures of Death Eaters behind them.

"SEAMUS, _BEHIND_ YOU!" Harry screamed out, as he redirected his broom towards the pair seconds from being attacked from behind. Katie Bell must have seen it too, as she zoomed past Harry and sent a ' _Stupefy_ ' towards the enemies, but the spell hit the ground a few paces away, missing their target. Hannah continued forth to repel the Dementors, as Seamus heard Harry's warning as he turned to face their newcomers. More Death Eaters began to emerge behind the pair on the ground, as both Harry and Katie raced their brooms closer to them. As Harry cast a non-verbal ' _Expelliarmus_ ', a Death Eater cast a fireball from the tip of their wand, hitting Katie's broom bristles and setting the end alight. Her broom jerked from the impact, sending her slightly off-course. Harry tried to douse the flames with a water charm, but it missed horribly. In all but a few seconds, he watched helplessly as Katie lowered herself close to where Seamus and Hannah were, and managed to hit the ground with a rocky landing, rolling to the floor on impact. Harry circled overhead, but thankfully, he watched as Katie picked herself up off her feet and assisted Seamus with the Death Eaters. She appeared unharmed but her broom, unfortunately, had snapped in half. That was one flyer out of the sky.

Feeling content that they had it handled, Harry noticed a jet of red sparks fly upwards from someone's wand elsewhere in the lower ledges. That was the danger signal. Wasting no time, Harry circled Katie once again and increased his speed as he approached the call. The closer he reached, the more Harry's vision cleared as he could finally see Neville and Luna occupied with four Death Eaters who seemed to surround them.

As he circled the pair, he noticed a steady stream of blood dripping from a tear in Neville's shoulder. Lowering his Firebolt, Harry cast ' _Petrificus_ _Totalis_ ' at one of the enemies below, hitting one of them square in the chest. The silver-masked Death Eater immediately went rigid, as his body fell to the floor like a plank of wood. One of the Death Eaters noticed Harry's sneak attack and sent a barrage of curses his way. The Gryffindor flipped his broomstick, narrowly avoiding each attack, and was thankful for his Quidditch skills at this moment as he twisted and dodged through the air. The Death Eater fired again, and Harry had diverted his gaze quickly to Luna, and so his brief distraction caused him to get hit. The curse sliced the top of his left hand, causing his grip to loosen with the intense pain and the blood coating the broomstick handle. Cursing under his breath, Harry managed to lower himself to the ground closer to Neville and Luna and landed safely on his feet. During the Death Eater's distraction, Luna was able to fire a hex, sending that enemy flying backward. She quickly grabbed the fallen wand, and hastily snapped it in half, rendering him powerless. Harry stumbled towards them, and the three of them dueled the two enemies remaining in their vicinity. But both Death Eaters began to Apparate away, leaving the trio frustrated, yet relieved. As Neville bound the fallen Death Eater, Luna ran to Harry.

Harry clutched his bleeding, injured hand as he grimaced in pain. "You guys okay?"

"We're alright, Harry. Here, give me your hand, "Luna outstretched her hand, as Harry placed his injured hand on hers. " _Episkey_." Harry watched as the laceration on his hand began to seal closed, leaving behind a thin scar in its wake. "There you go."

_Great, another scar._

"Thanks, Luna, "Harry nodded in thanks, as Neville approached them, breathlessly.

"Any sign of Ginny?" Neville wiped a bead of sweat from his face.

Harry shook his head, as he quickly reached for his Firebolt, "I haven't been able to get down there yet. I've been helping Arthur and Percy, and then Katie almost had an accident mid-flight."

"Blimey, Harry! We'll keep heading down. Thanks for the help!" Neville nodded.

"Go on ahead. We'll catch up, "Luna said, as both she and Neville raced down the path.

Without another word, Harry mounted his broom and kicked off the ground, going airborne once more as he left Neville and Luna behind. He watched as George whirled by overhead, attacking a solo Death Eater below, as Dean was able to conjure a non-corporeal Patronus to fend off two Dementors overhead on the other side. As two Death Eaters pierced the night sky on their own brooms, Harry watched as Ron and Bill sped on after them. But Harry continued to descend the center of the Quarry, now gaining a better vision of what was going on down there.

Within the trees below, he could see several large electric orbs hidden amongst the overgrowth. They were prisons; cages bound with magic and guarded by a group of Death Eaters below. The cages looked like circular webs of a silvery-white, containing the defenseless prisoners within. The enemies supposedly guarding them looked occupied, as they appeared to be battling an invisible opponent. Harry couldn't help but be amused at their increased confusion, because he knew exactly who was down there.

Snape.

No one else was down there just yet as far as he could see, so he guessed that Snape managed to sneak further below without being seen. But now, they knew he was there. As Harry flew closer, he watched as Snape conjured a powerful beam of icicles sending it forth to the enemies within his view. One Death Eater was instantly hit, who immediately - and _literally_ \- froze his entire body to the ground. Three more Death Eaters approached Snape from behind, as one of them flickered his wand, causing the roots of the trees surrounding them to pierce through the ground and grapple Snape at his legs. Snape was able to dodge one, but a thick tree root shattered the ground beneath his feet, causing him to fall to the ground with a hard _THUD_ , as the Invisibility Cloak slipped off. Still clasping his wand, he rose up on a knee and threw his arm out to the side in one sharp motion, sending the familiar _Sectumsempra_ his way. The Death Eater immediately crumbled to the ground, as his chest was sliced open. There was no saving him.

Snape struggled to break free of the hold of his ankle, as a single Dementor approached him from above. The man looked up in horror, as the sight of the creature seemed to cripple him. It was enough to crumble even a man usually so focus and controlled. But the Dementor began to perform the Kiss, rendering Snape scrambling for breath.

Speeding closer in view, Harry circled the Death Eaters swiftly and fired a Blast Curse as he swooped low to the ground. Once his attack hit the ground below their feet, a small explosion ripped the ground apart, leaving the remaining Death Eaters to catapult into the air and fall helplessly to the ground like ragdolls. But the force of the impact of the spell sent Harry to fly off his Firebolt, and plummet to the ground as he took a painful tumble towards the overgrowth.

Instantly, the ground around him began to freeze over. The tumble caused him to become slightly disorientated, as he failed to process what was happening around him. His glasses were cracked, and a piece was missing, but it miraculously stayed on his face as he gingerly rolled onto his back. His shoulder began to ache again; the same one he dislocated at Godric's Hollow. But at least this time, it was still functioning. Feeling like a weight was crushing his chest, he opened his eyes to find a Dementor zooming in rapidly on his location. Harry tried to raise his wand, but he realised it was no longer in his hand. He started to panic; the air around him grew colder, as be began to hear the haunting raspiness of the creatures overhead. It was so dark that he could barely make out the shadowy figures descending on them.

"HARRY! HARRY! GET _UP_! GET YOUR WAND!" He heard a frantic scream. A familiar voice. He turned his head awkwardly towards the magical cages, to find a familiar redhead pointing in the opposite direction, past Harry.

 _Ginny_!

Harry turned to the direction Ginny was wildly pointing at, to find his wand lodged within the shattered ground, amongst the loose rocks. As he began to make his way towards it, his body suddenly consumed with an unnatural chill. He let out a horrifying gasp, as a Dementor finally reached him causing him to fall backward, the creature inches from his face. The wrath's decayed, skeletal hand reached for Harry's throat, pinning him down to the ground. The stench of rot filled the air, leaving Harry feeling nauseous. Hot tears prickled his eyes, as he felt his soul being ripped from his body. Everything went numb, as he was unable to move, rendering him absolutely useless.

" _EXPECTO_ _PATRONUM_!" Snape's baritone voice bellowed throughout the bottom of the Quarry, as his wand lit up; a silvery-white ball of light formed in front of his eyes. He flung the non-corporeal Patronus in Harry's direction, hitting the Dementor in the back, ripping the creature away from him. The Dementor recoiled and emitted a piercing scream as it flew off, leaving the teenage Gryffindor sprawled on the ground. Recalling the Patronus once more, Snape pulled it back towards him as if the ball of light were attached to a string and redirected it to the Dementors who were latched onto him. Once those wraiths were dealt with, Snape was able to blast off the tree root's hold on his leg and break free of his magical restraints, drawing in a frosted breath out of panic of his own near miss.

Ginny screamed; her voice was all but an echo to Harry who felt the world spin around him. His breath shuddered, as his entire body twitched. His eyes were open, but he lay there staring at the starry sky above, feeling immense darkness rocking his very core. It was as if his heart stopped beating. Emptiness, and overpowering dread, inhibiting his ability to think. He had suffered the wrath of the Dementors before several times, and each ended with the screams of his own mother as she gave her life for his. That was a sound he could never erase from his mind.

He felt someone drop beside him, grasping the front of his jacket, "…Potter! _Respond_ – "

Harry blinked several times, still staring up at the night sky, spells being thrown overhead from the flyers above. He shivered, unable to shake the aftermath of the Dementor. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but the cold chilled right to his bones. Finally, he turned his head to Snape and looked upon the man's sickly white face, his dark eyes widened in panic. His nose was bleeding once again, most likely caused by the stress upon the man's body during his own Dementor attack, "I'll be fine. Go get Ginny. _Please_ – "Harry managed to croak out a few words, enough to let the man know that he was present.

Without a word, Snape assisted Harry to sit up. He removed his own black, light traveling cloak and wrapped it around Harry providing much-needed warmth, as the Gryffindor continued to shiver. It was then Harry was able to get a proper look at Ginny within the web-like magical cage; There she sat which a devastated look on her face, and clutching the little boy Elias whom they rescued from the burning house at Godric's Hollow several days ago. Ginny looked disheveled. Cuts and bruises all over whatever skin Harry could see through torn clothes. She also sported a nasty bruise across her face and her neck. Harry's heart almost slowed to nothingness.

But before Snape left Harry's side, two Death Eater's Apparated behind the man, and one immediately raised his wand.

" _AVADA_ – "

Before he could finish, Harry was able to draw in enough energy to shove Snape aside, because no words of warning would have been quick enough. Snape hit the floor hard, as Harry's quick dodge and roll to the side allowed the Killing Curse to soar over his head and hit the ground painfully close to him. With a growl under his breath, Snape clambered to his feet, and fired off a non-verbal curse, lifting the enemy up into the air and throwing him aside with a sharp swing of his wand arm. Several cracks were heard as the man hit the floor with much force, appearing as if he broke every bone in his body. Harry couldn't help but cringe at the sickening sound.

The second Death Eater turned to one of the cages close to Ginny, and pointed his wand towards it, causing it to crackle with energy. Within seconds, there was a series of jolting energy, as the victim inside was subjected to a powerful electric shock. A what appeared to be a young man, Harry and Snape heard him scream as he crumbled to the floor, twitching as the jolts rippled throughout his body. The sound eventually ceased, as he did not move again. Horrified, Harry froze to the spot, aghast at what he had just seen. Ginny had covered Elias' eyes and ears in a desperate bid to protect the young boy.

Then Harry witnessed something he had never seen. Snape's face suddenly twisted in furious anger as he turned on his heel and fired a smoky green curse at the enemy, consuming him as the smoke entered the man's mouth, and suffocated him from the inside. The man convulsed, as the wretched sounds of a gasping breath were heard. The man dropped to the floor, unmoving. Snape didn't even hesitate.

_What even was that?_

Harry watched as Snape stared at the man on the floor, seething in anger, wand hand, shaking. The Professor appeared in a state of shock. It didn't even occur to Harry before, but it was likely that Snape knew some of these Death Eaters. Perhaps even used to be friends with them. Again, Snape was placed in an impossible position, and now Harry felt guilty yet again.

"…Sir?" Harry tried to snap the man out of his wandering thoughts, as he struggled to get back onto his feet, still clutching Snape's cloak wrapped around him.

Snape flinched as he turned to look unnervingly at Harry, lips quivering in seething fury at what he had just done. Harry stared at the man for several moments, allowing him his anger to finally dissolve so he could finish the task they came here to do. Clenching his jaw, Snape finally turned on his heel and worked on freeing the remaining nine prisoners trapped within the cages. Snape raised his wand and began to whisper several incantations that Harry could not identify. One by one, the cages disintegrated, releasing the prisoners from their magical restraints. Once freed, Ginny bolted straight to Harry, flinging her arms around him in a tight embrace. Harry buried his head in the base of her neck, overcome with emotion as he tried his best to hold back on the tears.

That was far too close of a call.

Meanwhile, Snape sent up a red spark, to alert an ally to their location. Immediately, Arthur, Hermione, Molly, and Bill Apparated to his side, wands at the ready. Upon seeing their daughter, Arthur and Molly frantically raced up to Ginny as she greeted them both with a warm embrace.

"Oh, Ginny! I'm so relieved – "Arthur said, breathlessly.

Molly cried as she cupped her daughters face in her hands, "My dear – "

Snape turned to the newcomers, "- Apparate the rescued to Grimmauld Place _immediately_. I'll alert the others to retreat. We'll meet there. Regrettably…one was unable to be saved. "Molly placed a hand over her mouth in horror as she turned to the poor victim crouched in a fetal position, within the now disassembled magical cage. Arthur gently pulled his wife away, as he nodded in Snape's direction. Raising his wand again, Snape released a single white spark into the sky, indicating that their mission was complete. Hermione assisted two of the rescued and Apparated away with them. Bill followed suit. The remaining flyers above landed just beside them, as they assisted to teleport the rescued to safety. One by one, the last of the DA began to Apparate away from within the Quarry.

Arthur teleported away with Ginny and Elias, and as Harry finally retrieved his wand, he and Snape were the last to Disapparate. They reappeared at the park, and Harry watched as Arthur filed in with the remaining members towards Grimmauld Place, but as Harry turned to make his way inside, he noticed that Snape was still rooted to the spot beyond the stone wall across the street, hidden away in the shadows. Harry stopped in his tracks and hesitated in his bid to deal with his inner conflict. Instead of following the others inside, he decided to backtrack and approach the Professor.

Without a word, Snape handed Harry the Invisibility Cloak and his master coin, while Harry traded back the man's own black cloak and his own coin. The Gryffindor took another glance at the man, who had barely bothered to clean up the trail of blood from his nose; green eyes met the black. And all Harry could see was the pain beyond the man's eyes.

"…Why did you do it?" Snape broke the silence, in a whisper.

Confused, Harry frowned, "Do what?"

"You…pushed me aside. He could have _killed_ you instead – "

"- You were in his line of fire! I couldn't let that happen! He would have killed you right in front of me."

Snape paused, breath shuddering, "You cannot keep _doing_ this, Potter. I _forbid_ it."

"You can't stop me for trying to save your life, "Harry responded, "But you were able to risk your life for mine when a Dementor went after you? That's a hell of a double-standard, Snape -"

"- Because I am _not_ worth saving! "Snape hissed, "… _Why_ aren't you comprehending that? Surely, you cannot be that _thick_ -headed -"

"- You're _not_ as expendable as you _think_ you are. You're just as important here, as anyone else. We couldn't have done what we did tonight without your help, "Harry challenged, ignoring the visible anger building up within the man standing before him.

Snape steadied himself against the stone wall staring at the Gryffindor, as he tried to wipe away the blood streaming down his face, "Potter, your future is far _less_ bleak than mine. What do you _think_ will happen once this is all over? You all have lives…a _continued_ purpose. I have _nothing_. I will go about my usual, _most_ likely end up in Azkaban, and – "

"- Die alone? Is that _really_ what you want?" Harry paused, as he watched Snape's face turn grim. The man grew silent, as Harry continued, "We've been over this. I'm sick of _arguing_ with you on the account of your life. You can shout at me or hex me all you want, but I would be willing to save your life like that all over again. Give me the typical demeaning Gryffindor speech you usually do, I don't care. I don't regret my decision. Just...why are you so _afraid_ to live?"

Snape flinched, clearly stunned by the question, almost looking offended, " _Absurd_! I am hardly afraid – "

"- Oh, really? I saw how scared you were when the Dementor approached you tonight. Do you want to know what I hear when a Dementor tries to suck out my soul? My mother _screaming_ as she dies. _Over_ , and…over again, "Harry's voice broke within those last few words, as he watched whatever color was left of Snape's face, drain away, "I can't _lose_ any more people again, Snape. Not if I can help it."

Harry's gaze connected with Snape's, long enough to see the devastation reaching every line on his pale, gaunt face. He went silent, unable to muster an audible response for the Gryffindor. The Professor clicked his jaw, observing Harry from what he could uncover in the moonlight overhead. There was a silence between them, but Harry couldn't help but look away. It was a tough spot for both of them. Years of tension still hung in the air between them, at times unmasking the bitter resentment that the man harbored within him. They weren't friends. That was still clear. Yes, they were more tolerant of each other's company now. But Harry could sense the doubt rising within the man, and it reminded Harry of the times Snape caught him wandering the Hogwarts corridors after hours, about to be interrogated. As of the current events, that wasn't a great feeling. Snape could sense something amiss.

Raising his chin, Snape broke through the heavy silence, "I know you are hiding something from me. You can't _fool_ me, Potter. You've been _avoiding_ my direct gaze for several days now…"

Harry immediately shook his head, "…No."

_Bloody hell._

" _Liar_ ," Snape's voice dropped softly, almost at a whisper, "You could never _fully_ learn Occlumency. You struggle to close your mind off from your emotions within and allow them to consume you. Your current attempts are _atrocious_ , and so instead you turn away from me. So, Potter. What is it I should know? I am giving you this opportunity to explain yourself."

Harry clenched his jaw, wrestling with what he was willing to share. He and Hermione agreed that they would not tell him yet, because he would surely try and stop them. Any hint of a curse transference spell would send Snape completely against the idea. Of course, he would have to know forty-eight hours prior to the first stage for fasting purposes, but until then, that would give him enough time to muster up some sort of logical explanation for it that would at least deter Snape's wrath in reasoning.

Eventually, Harry inhaled deeply, as he allowed his breath to slowly escape him as he turned back to Snape, "We may have a way to, well…cure you. But I _can't_ tell you how. Not yet. You're just going to have to trust me on this."

Snape's breath caught in his throat, "Potter, you _cannot_ – "

"- _Please_ , sir. Just trust me. That's all I ask." Harry looked down at Snape's tremoring hands, "Are you – "

Snape clasped his hands together to stop them from shaking, as he hid them hastily under his traveling cloak to mask it, "- _Fine_."

"We'll fix this. I couldn't save Cedric or Sirius. I couldn't even save Remus, Tonks, Alastair, or Fred. Let me at _least_ , try and save you. Just… _trust_ me. I know that's difficult for you to do."

The man before him hesitated, seemingly lost for words. Instead, Snape managed to muster up a single nod that otherwise, Harry sensed as well-received, leaving him to release a breath of relief. Well, hopefully, for the sake of argument. Slowly and surely Harry was getting through to him, even if it was taking a little longer than anticipated. Snape was always difficult to reason with, if not just as stubborn as he was.

"Come and join us, "Harry turned to leave for Grimmauld Place, but stop when he realised the man remained unmoving.

Softening his voice, Snape spoke, "Not tonight. I must depart to deal with…other affairs. I'm sure the Weasley patriarch can liaison with the Minister in light of tonight's events. I'd rather not stick around."

Harry frowned, "Are…are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Fine. Just, before you go…Thank you. For saving Ginny."

Snape drew in a deep breath, as he looked saddened, "I was unable to save your mother, Potter. But I know what losing Miss Weasley would have done to you. I'm sure we can _both_ agree that we don't need history repeating."

Without another word, Snape Disapparated away in a billow of black smoke leaving Harry standing alone in the park once more. Shuffling his feet with his Invisibility Cloak tucked under his arm, he made his way across the street and entered into Grimmauld Place, immediately hearing a chorus of voices emanating from inside.

He drew in a deep breath, barely ready to face the aftermath of their rescue. But now, he had Ginny back and that was already one weight off his shoulders.


	29. A Hopeful Heart

* * *

CHAPTER 29: A Hopeful Heart

Grimmauld Place was most certainly the busiest it has ever been. Harry was incredibly thankful – and relieved – by the space it held. With it still acting as safe Headquarters, they desperately needed it. After the rescue mission at the Tintern Quarry, they spent that night attending to those that they were able to save. The nine remaining prisoners, including little Elias and Ginny, were taken to St. Mungo's for a health assessment and any treatment they may need. Molly had accompanied her daughter on this journey and refused to leave her side.

However, much to their disappointment, Lee Jordan was not among the rescued, as well as Dean Thomas' parents. That could only mean that there was another location well-hidden and closely guarded. After this attack, they were surely made aware of the rescue attempt and that could pose an even bigger problem, further fortifying their defenses. But that would have to be a dilemma for another day.

The DA, including the additional Weasley's, managed to escape the Quarry in one piece. Besides minor injuries, they were able to attend to each other fixing minor cuts and bruises. Despite the unfortunate death of one of the victims, they did better than they expected. Catching the Death Eaters off-guard certainly worked in their favor, even despite Harry's and Snape's near-miss.

Arthur had contacted and alerted Minister Shacklebolt, who arrived at Grimmauld Place immediately in person. Harry and Arthur were able to brief him on the situation, despite Arthur's frustration in Snape leading them there in the first place. In a way Harry was relieved that Kingsley was understanding towards Snape, and but he only wished Arthur extended the same. He really didn't want to argue with Arthur about it, so they did their best to keep their conversation rather minimal on that subject. Once Kingsley was made aware of the Auror imposters at the Quarry in regard to the Dementors, he sent for assistance using Aurors – in which he interrogated himself – to sweep the area. Three Death Eaters were found dead – well _brutalized_ , curtesy of Snape - and eight others were incapacitated, and taken straight to Azkaban. It wasn't many, but it was something. That left eleven Death Eaters unable to attack another innocent life again.

Once Kingsley departed with Arthur and Percy back to the Ministry to deal with the immediate aftermath, the remaining official members of Dumbledore's Army dispersed back to their respective homes to recover. Eventually Harry, Hermione, Fleur, and the rest of the Weasleys' – now currently Ron, George and Bill - made their way to St. Mungo's to visit Ginny.

At barely six in the morning, the group departed Grimmauld Place, and made their way to the familiar old Muggle department store, left derelict. But once they stepped through the window of Purge and Dowse, they entered the busy reception of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Behind the reception desk, was a large emblem of the hospital; a wand crossed with a bone. Bill immediately approached the reception desk and the blonde-haired witch behind the counter was able to re-direct them to Ginny, who was thankfully allocated a private room on the fourth floor. Entering the familiar floor, they passed by multiple Healers adorned in identical lime-green robes, with the hospital emblem imprinted on the left side of their robe. As they turned down the corridor, they passed by the Janus Thickey Ward, which they knew were currently housing Alice and Frank Longbottom, as well as the previously obliterated Gilderoy Lockhart. Harry glanced sullenly at Hermione and Ron beside him, who returned the look with the same thoughts he had.

They made their way to another ward, where they were finally re-directed to Ginny. As they entered the room, they found Ginny sitting up in the bed, with Molly sitting in the chair beside her. Both faces lit up upon the arrival of their visitors. As they all filed in the room one by one, Bill gently shut the door behind them.

George was the first to embrace Ginny, followed by Ron and Hermione. Bill and Fleur followed suit soon after, leaving Harry to embrace her for the longest time. Bill conjured up several more chairs, as they all sat down, weary, and exhausted.

"Ginny, how are you feeling?" Hermione was the first to speak.

Ginny shuffled in her bed, sitting up further, and drawing up the pale blue hospital-grade blanket over her chest. She was wearing a white hospital gown, which didn't look too comfortable. Her long red hair was messy and pulled to the side, spilling over a visibly injured shoulder. She looked incredibly worn-out, and it hurt Harry to see her like this. Molly was holding her hand and didn't let go, as she comforted her as best she could.

"More alive now than I have been in the past few days, "Ginny's voice was hoarse, "Last I remember I was with Harry, and then something exploded, and I ended up wherever _that_ place was."

Suddenly all eyes were on Harry, and he felt his stomach lurch, "I barely registered what happened. The Auror we were following? She was a Death Eater. They used Polyjuice Potion. We figured out that much."

"Well…That answers that question. I woke up with a _ghastly_ headache, and she was nowhere to be been, "Ginny responded, as she pulled up her knees to her chest, further pulling her blanket upwards. Molly waved her wand and performed a non-verbal Heating Charm over her daughter's blanket, providing her with much-needed warmth. Ginny looked up at her mother and smiled weakly, "Thanks, mum."

"Were there more people – "George began, looking a little heartbroken at the state of his sister.

Ginny turned to George, shaking her head, "-As in other people who were kidnapped from Godric's Hollow? Yeah. A few of them were Muggles. I suspect they'll be obliviated once they recover."

"Why the _hell_ did they take you?" Ron asked.

"Bait for Harry, most likely. They needed something to lure him in, and well, I was convenient for them at the time," Ginny glanced at Harry, looking apologetically.

Harry bit his lip, "What did they – "

"– do?" Ginny sighed, "The Death Eaters at first used the _Cruciatus_ Curse on each one of us. Some of them got bored and preferred to get a little more…Violent. Mainly just roughing us up, though. I ended up with a few bruised ribs and cuts all over me. The Healers are keeping me here to monitor the effects of the Cruciatus, and the Dementor attack, "Ginny pointed to the horrific bruise on her face," Some _plonker_ decided to slap the kid I was looking after, across the face, because he wouldn't stop crying. So, I spat in his."

" _GINNY_!" A few of the Weasley's exclaimed in unison.

Ginny shrugged, "Serves him right. They didn't do much else. Once they got fed up, the Dementors did their rounds to keep us at bay." She turned back at Harry, "I tried to use the DA coin, but the strange cage they kept me in must have rendered it absolutely useless."

Harry shook his head, "It's alright. We thought about it too, but we tracked with your wand instead. We were going to go straight in there, but Snape suggested we re-group with the DA."

Ginny nodded, "Good, I'm glad he did. You wouldn't have made it far in there, otherwise. From what I saw, it was a _bloody_ good plan."

Ron interjected, "Yeah, Snape rounded us up for a DA meeting at the Room of Requirement. Never thought I'd ever see the day. Actually, it went rather well, considering the great big bat lead us in there with a decent plan." Hermione shot him a look of warning at his choice of words.

"Well, it was a hell of a plan, but it worked, "Bill crossed his arms over his chest, "Everyone did extremely well."

"I'm just _thankful_ you are all back in one piece," Molly said, "I just about lost it when I caught George sneaking out of the house near midnight with his broomstick in one hand, and a box of fireworks in the other. The _nerve_!"

There was a slight chuckle amongst the visitors, even from George who, despite being caught red-handed, looked mighty pleased with himself. However, it did work in their favor. The group spent the following hour telling them all about the battle, including Ron's interesting recount of his pursuit on his broomstick in strange detail. Hermione and George excitedly told them about the fireworks they had planted as a distraction, and Bill's full-body wrestle with a disarmed Death Eater. Eventually, as the light of the morning began to shine through the window, Bill and Fleur said their goodbye's and departed back to Shell Cottage. Molly stayed with Ginny and told Harry that they will update them on when she was able to leave.

Before they left, Ginny told Harry about Elias, and that he was located a few rooms away. Hermione and Ron left for Grimmauld Place, and Harry went off to find the room the little boy was in, whilst George wanted to return to the Burrow to await his father and Percy. Still sleep-deprived and exhausted, Harry shuffled his way down the corridor and passed several Healers along the way, until he reached Elias' room. Once he entered, a young brunette Healer was inside running a diagnostic on the little boy, who was awake and watching the Healer, mesmerized with what she was doing. Bandages wrapped around his small limbs, from where he suffered the burns. Sitting beside the boy, was a youthful woman adorned in peach-colored robes with petite lace embellishing's on her sleeves and collar. She appeared to have the same ash blonde hair as the little boy, as pale features and rosy cheeks were matched evenly between them both.

Harry stopped by the door, conflicted about the prospect of disturbing them. But it was too late. Both the Healer and Elias looked over at Harry, with the little boy displaying the most heart-warming toothy grin he had ever seen.

"Harry!" The little boy called out, almost startling the Healer beside him. His face lit up, unexpectedly melting Harry's heart.

The Healer had finished her task, and turned to the woman beside him, "I've detected nothing out of the ordinary, so for now he remains stable. But we will continue to monitor him throughout the day for further dizziness, of course. I'll be back with his Essence of Dittany due in about twenty minutes."

The woman beside the boy nodded, "Thank you." Her voice was soft, delicate, and oddly soothing.

The Healer walked past Harry as she exited the room, but Harry remained unmoving, feeling as if he was intruding.

The young woman smiled, as she beckoned for Harry to enter the room, "When Elias told me he was saved by Harry, I never _dreamed_ it was Harry _Potter_ , the Chosen One!" The woman stood up, and immediately enveloped Harry into a hug, taking him by complete surprise. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! When I was alerted that he went missing, my heart sank."

Pulling back from the unexpected hug, Harry's cheeks flushed, completely taken aback by the kind gesture, "Are you his mother?"

She shook her head sadly, "No. That was my beautiful baby sister, Serena. It was her you found in the house. My name is Desiree Bellevue."

"I'm…so sorry for your loss," Harry bowed his head respectfully as the woman, as he sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning over the boy who was determined to hug Harry tightly enough to render him breathless. "We did what we could – "

Desiree raised her palm gently at Harry to respectfully stop him from speaking no further, "- There was nothing anyone could do. You _saved_ my nephew. And again tonight. We are both forever blessed by what you did."

"It wasn't just me – I had help. But I'm glad he has family. I wasn't even sure if he came from a magical family."

Her steel-blue eyes were soft and reassuring, "Well, his Muggle father left before he was born. No ill-will. He simply couldn't grasp the magical world, and Serena accepted his decision without conflict. Elias now, will be staying with me and my partner," She glanced lovingly at Elias, who rested his head against Harry's arm, "Elias adores you. He was always a shy boy. Mischievous, but shy."

Harry smiled, "Maybe I'll see him at Hogwarts when he's older?"

Desiree beamed, "Oh! That would be absolutely _wonderful_. This soon-to-be Hufflepuff will love to see you there, won't you, Elias?"

The little boy sat up straight and nodded wildly, beaming up at Harry.

"He's a wonderful kid. Such a little treasure and gentle soul, like his mother, "Desiree looked back at Harry and smiled sadly, at the loss of her sister.

"I'm sorry for the short visit, but...I have to go now, "Harry stood up from the bed, and gave one last hug to the little boy, "You're incredibly brave. Get well soon, Elias."

Desiree turned to Harry and placed her hands on his shoulders, "I am _ever_ so grateful for this chat, Harry Potter. Thank you for stopping by. We truly hope to see you again sometime."

With a final shared smile between Elias and Desiree, Harry turned to finally make his way home back to Grimmauld Place. He wasn't expecting that encounter, but it left Harry with such an incredible warmth within his chest that he could barely describe that feeling in words. It was an immense relief. Joy, at a little life, saved and to be reunited with such a sweet family. Harry knew what it was like to lose a mother, but he never knew his, like Elias knew his own. The boy was young, and now there was no forgetting the traumatic experience he just went through in the last few days. But he kept in good spirits, and that in itself was a small blessing. He truly hoped to see the boy again.

Well, looks like he can't refuse that Hogwarts post by McGonagall after all.

As soon as he arrived back at Grimmauld Place, Harry went straight to his room and crashed on his bed, absolutely overcome by exhaustion. And for the first time in a long while, he fell straight to sleep. He wasn't rocked with nightmares this time, but he did end up having a string of very strange dreams. One dream had him performing aerial flips on his Firebolt to a Quidditch pitch filled with house-elves, and another had him being chased by one of George's fancy rockets through the city of London.

Eventually, Harry awoke to sunbeams illuminating on his face from the curtain on the window he forgot to close. He glanced at the clock, which ticked just over midday. Harry himself was shocked he even slept this long, uninterrupted. Rolling out of bed, he left the room to take a shower and get himself cleaned up, giving him the opportunity to finally see the new collection of bruises forming around his hips and legs from his tumble off his Firebolt. Thankfully, nothing too horrendous. Once he left the bathroom sporting a fresh pair of clothes – disregarding his very limited choices – and made his way downstairs. He stopped by Snape's room, and peered inside quickly, but frowned when he discovered the man didn't return. Trying not to worry about that so much, he entered the kitchen to find Hermione and Ron at the kitchen table eating lunch. Ron was busy tucking into fresh sandwiches and hot tomato soup, while Hermione sat with her nose a book. Nothing unusual.

Harry walked in and sat down beside Hermione, across from Ron, and began to help himself to food to appease his painfully grumbling stomach.

"I can't _believe_ you slept longer than I did," Ron was the first to speak, "That's got to be a record for you."

Harry chuckled, "I'm honestly just as surprised." He bit in into a tasty swiss cheese and turkey sandwich, feeling rather content.

Hermione turned to Harry, "I'm going back to Hogwarts today to try and sort out these potions for Snape. I need to start brewing these in _two_ days, and we still need the Acromantula ashes, and pay Hagrid a visit for the remaining items."

Harry nodded, "I'll help you with the Acromantula. Besides, I should probably see Hagrid myself."

"He'll be happy to see you, Harry. He was quite sad last we were there because there were no students around. He's been kind of…lonely."

"We can always ask him to come with us to get the Acromantula, "Ron suggested, "…That way _he_ can go instead of me."

"Oh, _Ronald_."

"Do we need anything else for those potions?" Harry asked, "Sooner we start, the better. Snape kind of interrogated me last night…"

Hermione's eyes widened, "What?"

"He definitely knew I was hiding something. I, well…" Harry shrugged awkwardly, "Kept avoiding his gaze because I was nervous, and he was getting irked by that. So, I told him we had an idea of how to cure him, just so he didn't expect anything too ridiculous. I didn't give him the details."

" _Harry_!" Hermione's voice made Harry jump in his seat.

" _What_? You _know_ I'm terrible with the Occlumency thing," Harry took a sip of his coffee, "Snape knows that, too."

"Well, you should have been taking his lessons seriously. _Honestly_!"

"I never thought I'd actually have to use it against _him_! Besides, those lessons were doomed from the start."

"Blimey, Harry, "Ron tried his best to suppress a chuckle, just as he reached for his pumpkin juice, "Of all people to try and hide something from, it had to be bloody Snape."

"Look, he doesn't know what we are doing yet, so for now, we keep going," Harry reassured, "Right now, he seems to be a little more trusting towards me, and I really don't want to screw that up. Especially after being at each other's throats for seven years."

"Yeah, and you still have to figure out a way to tell him. Doesn't he have to stop taking potions for two days, or something?" Ron asked.

Hermione nodded, "Any magical, even nutritional interaction can completely throw the entire thing off. He won't even be able to use a simple bruise salve. The ingredients are extremely sensitive. For the potion to work efficiently, he needs to undergo a _complete_ cleanse. Kind of horrible, especially for Snape's sake."

Suddenly, Harry wasn't so hungry anymore, "Yeah, I was thinking that. I might try hunting for some non-magical books for any way to help him without resorting to magic. At least for those fasting days because they are crucial."

That's a great idea, Harry, "Hermione nodded, as she gently closed her book, "Actually, I might see what I have at home. If not, I can easily use the internet and do a little research there. Perhaps my parents may have some medical textbooks hidden somewhere."

Ron looked confused, "Internet? What the bloody hell is an internet?"

Harry and Hermione shared a laugh.

"Kind of like a…Library, without books, "Harry attempted a simple answer, but the confusion further deepened on Ron's face, "Just…never mind, Ron. Far too complicated to explain." Ron's expression was further met by Hermione and Harry who continued to giggle.

Once they concluded lunch together, they made their way towards Hogwarts to pay Hagrid a visit and obtain some of the black-listed ingredients that only he knew how to find. Hagrid was more than happy to help them out, making their job in rounding these ingredients far easier. Some of these ingredients were rare and delicate, and in a society still broken and reeling from the aftermath of the war, those ingredients were difficult to procure. That left Neville in doing his best to gather the remaining herbs and flora required, some of which were difficult to gather as a few required to be picked under certain environmental conditions. Luckily, Neville was well-versed in Herbology more than any of them were, and they were relieved. But as Hermione had mentioned previously, it was the brewing process that was the most difficult. To gather the ingredients required was one thing but making sure there were no errors in the delicate brewing process was another. Even to the point that certain herbs had to be ground up at a certain thickness, and some of the liquids required a certain cleansing process in order to use. It was enough to make Harry's head spin.

And likely even Snape if he discovered this.

Once they arrived at Hagrid's familiar cabin, Harry knocked on the large wooden door. Instantly, he was greeted by the half-giant who hugged him so strongly, that he lifted the teenager up off the ground in delight. It seems Harry was subjected to many rib-crushing hugs recently, elevating such a blissful feeling he thought was long buried. Immediately, Hagrid beckoned for them to join him inside, where a crackling fire instantly warmed Harry to his core. The Hogwarts gamekeeper got busy and began brewing them a pot of tea, while his dog Fang took a nap by the fire.

"I've been wonderin' when ye were going to see me, 'arry, "Hagrid spoke, setting the lopsided and slightly chipped mugs on the table in front of the trio.

"I know, it's just been rather…hectic. Hermione and Ron probably gave you the simplified version, "Harry responded, watching Hagrid pour tea into their mugs.

"So, I 'eard. And Ginny – "

"- She's recovering at St. Mungo's at the moment. "

Hagrid looked incredibly relieved, "Oh, that's _wonderful_ news! Professor McGonagall raced up to my cabin when she heard abou' the incident at the Quarry. She thought I must've known about it. She was rather, well… _unpleasant_ , when I told her I didn't have a clue."

"She knows?" Ron asked.

"O' course she does. Once the Minister informed her about it, she was livid. I suggest you watch ye back, Harry, "Hagrid sat down on the over-sized single sofa in the corner by the fire, "She also mentioned a memorial. It ain't set in stone yet, but it's coming up to the, ah, well…One-month anniversary since, ye know…"

"Yeah, she did mention that, "Hermione responded, "She was conflicted by the idea with the Minister because it doesn't seem safe enough to gather all of those students and teachers, and everyone else who fought that day. Especially now when Death Eaters are taking every opportunity to ignite fear again. People are still going missing."

"All I know is that Professor McGonagall _really_ didn't want to delay that any longer. It didn't feel righ' to, "Hagrid took a large sip from his own mug, and set it down on the table a little too forcefully, causing some tea to spill down the sides, "Besides, it'll be within Hogwarts and protected by 'eavy wards. They ain't taking no chances this time. She's making damn well sure of that. "

"Well since the recent attack, I think they may be laying low for a while. So, now's a good as time as any to do it, "Harry suggested, cupping the steaming mug of tea within his hands, "Hagrid, were you able to get the ingredients we need?"

"Ah, "Hagrid rose up from the chair and retrieved a small tattered brown cloth bag from the tiny kitchen counter. Placing it on the table in front of the trio, he began to retrieve the items, "I sure did. I had to play a little poker to haggle for the fresh Occamy egg, but otherwise, piece o' cake." Hagrid handed Harry the large egg, as the shell glistened in pure silver, almost allowing Harry to see his dull distorted reflection upon its glossy surface. He knew that this egg would need to be melted down, which will be required for the final, more intense potion that will be needed.

"This is wonderful, Hagrid, "Harry turned the warm egg within his hands, before returning it to the bag. Hagrid had placed a clear container filled with large pearl and peach-colored dragon scales, along with another container containing multiple pieces of long silver-white Abraxon tail hair.

Hermione was incredibly pleased, "Fantastic! This is such a _huge_ help." She turned to Harry, "Once we get the Acromantula ashes, then I'll have to start melting the Occamy egg down because it needs to be weighed, separated, _and_ cooled completely in two days."

"Did you mention Acromantula ashes?" Hagrid asked, "I can help you with that. That'll be the easiest because some of the dead were taken back to the Forest. It probably won't take us long to find a dead one somewhere. The larger ones take months to fully decompose."

Ron looked repulsed, "Good, I'm staying."

"Relax, they're _dead_ , Ron, "Harry smirked.

"So will we, if we find live ones with them!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, as Hagrid chuckled, completely lost in the moment. Harry was amused but relieved that they almost had what they needed to start the potions. They just needed Neville to return with his haul, and then they could begin.

The trio and Hagrid, along with Fang, made their way into the Forbidden Forest on the hunt for deceased Acromantulas which were apparently littered around the darkest parts of the forest. For once, they were able to hunt for it during the comforting light of the day, which brought them all a measure of relief. With Fang's help, they were able to locate one with surprising ease, despite Ron's unease. As Hermione retrieved an empty glass jar within her plum-colored beaded bag, Harry set the deceased creature alight and transferred the fresh ashes into the jar. Content with their find, they made their way back to Hagrid's cabin to retrieve the ingredients and bid him farewell as they journeyed back into Hogwarts.

Hermione led them to a small, empty classroom on the sixth floor, overlooking the North Tower courtyards, away from Ravenclaw Tower. After the possibility of Snape accessing his own Potion laboratories again once the stationed Aurors were sent away, Hermione had to find an alternative room to work in. In her search, she found a small empty classroom that she used to conceal with simple disillusionment charms to deter anyone from discovering the potions set-up she had going. It was a brilliant idea because it will be able to prevent Snape or McGonagall from discovering it accidentally. Plus, they could work in there without being discovered themselves. The room itself, as Hermione discovered, was a spare classroom so the chances of anyone else utilizing it were slim.

There was a multitude of cauldrons on the large table Hermione had transfigured, along with various tools that they needed to prepare such delicate ingredients. Already, there were ingredients sectioned off and ready to use, along with empty vials to seal the potions once ready. It was really quite a sight, and now was the point of no return. They were going to do this because there really was no other alternative than letting a man be consumed by death in such a cruel and horrific way. Even if it was Snape, the ex-Death Eater. It was still Snape, loyal Order of the Phoenix member, and the main instrument resulting in the downfall of Voldemort once more. There was no way Harry was going to allow him to succumb to that. He tried to save Sirius from his fate, and that failed. Now was his chance to try again.

Perhaps there was a sense of selfishness within his request, but Harry wholeheartedly believed that a second chance for this man would be one where he could live a life he was previously deprived of. Perhaps a life where he wasn't so hated or despised, or constantly walking a tightrope to his demise. Even he deserved a second chance like Harry did when he made that choice to return.

The trio began preparing some of the ingredients. Hermione was in charge of melting down and measuring the silver Occamy egg – Harry and Ron did not want to tamper with that one at all for fear of messing it up, so they left that tedious task with her. Harry began weighing up the required amount of dragon scales and set aside one amount to be added whole, and the remainder needs to be finely ground up. Ron was tasked with cutting and grinding some of the dried herbs and split them into threes for the protective potions. It was a lengthy process, but at least they were prepared for the hour in which it needed to start brewing. Both the first protective potion and the final potion had to commence at the same time. The final extraction potion was a continuous three-month process, whilst the protective potions had to be brewed every fourteen days, ending on the full moon.

And yet still, Harry had absolutely no idea how to break this to Snape. He obviously didn't want to get their hopes up, but Hermione felt extremely confident about this, and Harry trusted her word for it. At least telling Snape of a possibility of a cure, could inspire some sort of hope within the man he so desperately needed to hear. He needed that drive; that chance of living a better life. That must be enough for him to keep going. It just had to be.

Once the trio had prepared what ingredients they could, Harry decided to leave Hermione and Ron behind and make his way out of the castle. But as soon as he reached the main courtyard, he heard someone behind him call out his name.

It was the Headmistress. _Uh, oh._

Wincing in anticipation of a heated discussion, Harry did not dare ignore the elderly witch. He turned on his heel to find her walking briskly towards him, adorned in her black and grey robes, and picking up the hem as she went. Her greyed hair mostly up in a loose bun, aside from a few wavy stubborn locks which flew in the breeze as she walked.

"HARRY POTTER!"

Waiting until she reached him, Harry clenched his jaw, "Hi, Professor."

"We need to talk. _Urgently_ , if you please, "The woman's expression was stern. Her wrinkled face expressing the deepest frown he has ever seen etched upon her.

Sticking his hands in his pockets, he nodded, "Uh, sure." They began to walk slowly together within the courtyard, oddly devoured of any other soul. It was strange not to see students around. Last he stood here; Harry pretended to be dead in Hagrid's arms within the most terrifying death procession lead by Voldemort.

"Don't give me that Potter, I _know_ you know what I'm referring to, "McGonagall sensed Harry's attempt at ignorance, "What _happened_ last night? Going in there was _reckless_. And when I see Severus, he's getting an earful from me. Kingsley informed me early this morning."

Harry appeared grim, "We _couldn't_ wait, Professor. Snape helped us to plan it. "

"So, it was _his_ idea?"

"Actually, I asked him to help us find Ginny. And we did. I was willing to go in there, but he insisted we wait and plan. It's not his fault."

She shook her head, "I wasn't blaming him. My _displeasure_ with this is the fact that no one bothered to inform me about it. Or the _Minister_! When I find out that many of my students, led by Harry Potter and my ex-colleague, stroll right into danger, of _course_ , I'd be livid. If any, I could have assisted or sent for reinforcements…"

"We didn't want to take you away from the school, Professor, "Harry explained, "Besides, we ended up with extra help. Molly and – "

"-Yes, yes, I am aware, "McGonagall stopped to turn to Harry, clasping her hands neatly in front of her, "Why are you here, Mr. Potter? You're meant to be _safe_ at Grimmauld Place. Don't think I am not aware of your friends frequently visiting Hogwarts. I am not the only one present here, you know. Horace told me he saw Granger heading down to the dungeons the other day. I _know_ Severus is not here in the castle. Something is amiss."

Harry hesitated, as he shook his head, "It's nothing."

She raised her eyebrow, "I highly doubt that. It's never _nothing_ with you, Mr. Potter. Years of teaching you have warned me of that. If it's something I can help with – "

"-It's Snape." _Well, there it is._

McGonagall was taken aback, as she frowned, "What about him, Potter?"

Harry drew in a deep breath, looking defeated, "…H-He's dying."

The color from McGonagall's face drained away, as she was lost for words. Her blue eyes widened in shock, "What? _How_?"

"The snake…Nagini. She was cursed when she attacked him, and he almost died by Voldemort's hand. Draco was able to bring him back from near-death that night, but the curse is _still_ there, Professor. It stopped his wounds from healing, and it's getting worse. It's almost the same one Dumbledore suffered from, before he...You know…"

She looked away, as she placed a shaky hand on her chest, overwhelmed with this new information. Eventually, he looked back at the young Gryffindor, entirely devastated, "Potter…I-I had no idea. I knew he looked terrible, but I never thought…Oh _dear_. I cannot – "

"- I know. We've been kind of looking after him at Grimmauld Place, because he has nowhere else safe enough, to be."

Her heart skipped a beat, as she responded with a shaky breath, "…Who else knows?"

"Besides Ron, Ginny and Hermione, only Neville and Luna. No one else knows. Not even Kingsley."

Harry watched as the elderly woman wandered to the nearby stone bench and sat down, staring off into space. Gingerly, Harry followed her and sat down beside her. They sat in silence for a few moments, allowing McGonagall to come to terms with what she was just told.

"I did not anticipate this to happen. Poor Severus…" She hesitated, "I've known him for _years_ , Potter. I _taught_ him."

" _Please_ , don't tell him you know. He specifically didn't want anyone else to know. He'll probably try and strangle me if he found out I told you."

She looked at Harry, and nodded in understanding, "Yes, very much like Severus to request such a thing."

"The reason we've been here at Hogwarts is because we may have a way of removing the curse. Hermione is confident it will work, but it's tedious and will take time."

"Oh, _please_ do not dabble in Dark Magic, Harry. You've been through _enough_ of that, haven't you?"

Harry shook his head, "It's not like that, Professor. It's complicated, but it's not necessarily Dark Magic. We don't know how much time he has left, and we're managing, but…If we don't at least try this, then there will be no more hope left for him. We can't take him to St. Mungo's because he is still technically a wanted man. Hunted by both Aurors _and_ Death Eaters. If an Auror catches him, it won't end well. He'll be facing either Azkaban or death."

The elderly witch drew in a deep breath, "I understand the predicament." McGonagall managed to muster up a small smile, "Albus would have been proud of your efforts, Potter. Of both of you. Setting aside your differences, _now_ …I realise you have _both_ been on opposite sides for years, personally. But I am deeply relieved that you have found a sense of common ground. _Trust_ , that you both should have had."

Harry nodded sadly, "Yeah. I just wished we realised that sooner. I mean, we are not _friends_. But…we have a mutual understanding. And for us, that's a big thing. I think we both realised that we can't keep _hating_ each other. It just seems so _pointless_ to do that now, after everything."

"After what everyone has experienced recently, I most _certainly_ agree, Mr. Potter. Hate consumes too much of you, "McGonagall responded in agreement, "In the end, we must focus on going forward, no matter how painful the past may be. If ever you should require anything -"

"- I know. We almost have what we need, but we'll let you know how it goes."

She nodded, sadly, "Thank you for letting me know…About him."

"Well, I wanted you to know _eventually_. So, if anything happens, you know why…And maybe give you a chance to fix things properly with him. I know you still feel guilty for attacking him that night."

"…That's exceedingly kind of you to say. I shall take that into consideration, "She smiled, as she rose from her seat, "I must leave you now Mr. Potter. Do update me or send a message if you so require immediate assistance. "

"Yeah, I will. Thanks, Professor."

Patting Harry on the back as she turned to leave, he watched as McGonagall hastily make her way back inside the castle, leaving Harry sitting alone in the courtyard. As soon as the Headmistress disappeared from view, Harry buried his head in hands, leaning his elbows on his knees.

The reality of it all seemed to hit him all at once. It was too much for Harry to deal with, and he knew he made the right choice to let McGonagall know about Snape. What else was Harry to do? Someone else, most important of all McGonagall, needed to know. In fact, she is now currently the only person alive who knew Snape for the longest time. The fact that this man was on the brink of death, would have shocked the elderly woman to her core. Knowing they still had so much history together, saddened Harry. Snape had no family. Harry would have never known what their friendship was, aside from what he noticed in the Great Hall, the classrooms, and even Quidditch games. There was a measure of trust there, even despite the friendly house rivalry they often shared, more than even Harry could sense. That was obvious. In fact, if Harry could guess, aside from Dumbledore, she was the only one that Snape seemed to trust the most.

In fact, it hurt Harry to think that McGonagall knew nothing about his true allegiance after all this time. In fact, it likely hurt Snape more to know that he had to keep it a secret, even from her. Harry should have known, too. Dumbledore gave Harry every reason to keep trusting the man, and yet he let his animosity and years-long grudge blindside him to what was so obviously placed right in front of him. The feud turned them into horrible versions of themselves. Even when he saw McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout drive him from the castle that day, he should have known he did not want to attack them. The wounded expression on his face was clear as day, and yet Harry was determined to persecute the man, just like everyone else did.

It was all just a little too much. Had he died that night along with his memories, no one would ever have known the truth. That fact rocked Harry to his core. A man neck-deep in a suicidal mission would have died without honor. His true courage and bravery would have never been known. Despite his past fatal mistakes, he did everything he could to rectify that. He _risked_ his own life for a cause he opposed as a child. He was willing to change in honor of a loved one now passed because of him. And yet after all this time, he risked everything and gained nothing.

Or so he thinks.

Harry was willing to give him a fighting chance. When Snape thought he gained nothing, he never completely _realised_ he gained a second chance. To make amends. To settle past misdeeds. To leave behind a version of himself that he clearly wanted to stay buried. To finally realise that he now has someone on his side that is willing to fight for him, when no one else would. Dumbledore may have given Snape a chance to prove himself those many years ago, but now Harry felt he needed to continue his work on his behalf. Snape just needed a nudge in the right direction to give him a purpose.

Harry was always a determined soul, dedicated to saving a life no matter who it was. If he was willing to give Voldemort a chance of remorse, then Snape had every right to live.

James had no regard for his wellbeing, and Lily eventually gave up on him. Harry has long since accepted that with mild bitterness, and yet he did understand why. But neither of them were alive to see Snape now, and what he risked, despite his fatal choice to tell Voldemort the prophecy. The threat upon Lily's life was Snape's wake-up call. He defected against Voldemort even before the death of his parents. He tried to keep them safe, even if that meant approaching the enemy of his master in desperation. But in the end, it was Peter Pettigrew who betrayed his family. A close friend. It was he who broke the _Fidelius_ Charm and told Voldemort where they were hiding.

Snape tried to fix it but failed. Harry recognised that. He recognised how deeply embedded his pain was, even now after all this time. He was never able to fully come to terms with it. It was almost as if he was never able to properly grieve, before being thrust into the dangerous life of a triple-agent. A life-long debt that would forever consume the man that everyone despised.

Harry couldn't change the past. Neither could he. But all they can do now is finally mourn over the lives lost now that Voldemort is truly gone.

Now, they both must learn to finally grieve and let go.


	30. Second Light

* * *

**NOTE** : Hey guys! Okay, so I wasn't intending to do a Snape-centric chapter this soon after the Misty Dell, but due to some chapter 're-arranging' this made more sense. Plus, there are a few themes I'd like to touch up on in this chapter from Snape's POV, which will set up upcoming arcs.

* * *

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." - **_Plato_**

* * *

CHAPTER 30: Second Light

_The boy. Potter…_

Severus Snape was terrified. He didn't want to admit it, but he was shaken to his core. This boy, this Chosen One…So determined to fix this broken man, that the possibility of surviving left an unnerving emptiness he did not expect. What if he _did_ survive? Then what? He'll end up rotting in Azkaban for the rest of his life, still hated by the majority of the wizarding world. What life was this – Roaming between Grimmauld Place and wherever else was safe for him at the time. The only person that seemed to tolerate his very existence, was Harry Potter.

Some cruel twist of fate.

Perhaps he _was_ afraid to live, after all. He was afraid to live because he simply didn't know how to. Never in all his life, had he ever been afraid to die. Even on that night when he gave Potter those memories – the final pieces of the puzzle - he welcomed death as a sense of relief. A finite end to his misery.

But now he really was afraid to die. That the threat of death now scared him, and maybe the possibility of finally living gave him an odd sense of hope. This was unfamiliar territory for him. But how does a man such as Severus learn to deal with that? Perhaps he decided to hold on to this world, like a ghost with unfinished business. He couldn't fathom that at first, but the longer he spent with Potter, the more it started to make sense. Guilt was the only thing destroying him from the inside. The only thing keeping him from truly moving on with whatever life you could call this.

So, in order to appease his guilt, he began chipping away at small victories. Saving who is could, still. Rounding up his Death Eater ex-colleagues who posed an immediate danger on the wizarding world, in order to make it safer to live. For those who survived the Battle of Hogwarts, he genuinely wanted them to thrive. After everything. The only person who didn't deserve to thrive was himself. He never once made _himself_ a priority – The first and last time he ever did that, was when he ran to the Dark Lord like a wolf sinking its teeth into something that would feed them all. He was selfish, and that selfishness came at an incredible price. He couldn't suffer through that again.

It was difficult for Severus to forgive others, much less himself. Now he felt like he wanted to continue on that pledge he made to Albus. Not only on the night he begged for Lily's safety, but on the night she was murdered. To protect her son.

But after everything that has transpired by the outcome of the battle, Potter was still in danger. His work was not complete. It would have done Lily, and Albus, a great disservice if Severus were to abandon the boy and succumb to his death somewhere where no one dares to tread. Somewhere dark and forgotten, as he felt he deserved.

Potter wanted him alive. It didn't occur to Severus before, but he noticed the way Potter watching him, concerned. He's seen the fear in the Gryffindor's eyes when Severus hesitated. When at times the curse will trigger him once more, sending him deteriorating in front of his eyes. He didn't want the boy worried about him, and yet he did. Severus was shocked himself, that he even cared about this. He knew how hurt Potter was with all the losses he sustained over the course of his life. Even Severus couldn't match that. He will always feel guilty for the mistakes that cost Potter the lives of his parents. Nothing he felt he could do, will redeem him from that. But Potter was still insistent he tries.

Potter saved his life from the Death Eater that night. And yet Severus got angry at him for doing so.

The boy was getting too close to him, and that was painful for Severus to accept. He couldn't afford to get close to him, too. Any sense of attachment will be ripped away upon his death, and he didn't want the boy to suffer on his accord. Attachment was far too painful. And yet Severus couldn't help but feel attached to _him_ , too. In a strange way, even he was unfamiliar with it. That itself posed a new set of dilemmas. Now, he couldn't bear to see the stubborn Gryffindor run off into danger alone.

Severus left Potter that night and decided to find a place to subdue his racing mind. He did not want to return to Grimmauld Place that night, for fear of harsh confrontation. There was simply too much there that he didn't want to deal with, so he made the decision to turn away. Arthur Weasley was already far too personally problematic, and in no way was he interested to hear what Kingsley Shacklebolt had to say. He knew he made a daring decision in leading the children in there, but what was the alternative? Allowing them to go in there alone and unprepared?

He did have to pause and marvel at the feat. Teaching students how to utilise their skills and arm them with the education and practical tools they needed to survive. He actually did enjoy teaching a class, who finally knew _his_ truth. It seemed to make teaching far easier for him without feeling like he was placed on the moral pedestal as a triple-agent. He was able to teach without constraints, and that seemed to provide him with a sense of unexpected bliss. A sense of…purpose.

And they actually listened to him. They _wanted_ to be there. That was more of a shock to Severus than he cared to admit.

Severus went to his favorite, secluded section of the Forbidden Forest where the Thestrals lived. No one was around, and it was the only place where he felt truly at peace. His anger was still bubbling due to the ramifications of the fight at the Quarry, so he needed a place to cool down. He was still rather angry at Potter for putting his life on the line for him, but he was also deeply confused at what the boy was hiding from him. No wonder Potter refused to look at him. It made sense that it was an amateur reaction to his lack of Occlumency skills, and inability to close his mind yet again. Severus was unable to keep a steady eye contact long enough for him to try and peer into his mind. Potter may not be the brightest student, but he was definitely clever and cunning, which definitely weren't typical Gryffindor traits at all.

Severus stayed a while among the Thestrals, sitting with them for several hours staring up into the crescent moon overhead, basking in its soft glow. A mild breeze swept through the forest, gently rocking the trees surrounding him. He needed that sense of calm and enough serenity to clear his mind. He didn't need to strain himself with Occlumency to do that, so instead, he took himself to a place that will do that for him. Severus was wary enough. He couldn't afford to waste precious energy on a skill he may never need to rely heavily on again. For this moment, his mind can be at rest.

He found himself dozing off, lightly snoring, and was awoken by the nuzzle of an adult Thestral beside him. Stirring awake, he glanced at the now orange sky, as dawn slowly approached. He didn't intend for this to be slumbered sleep just yet, but he felt incredibly exhausted and lethargic. The blood under his nose crusted over from the events of the Quarry. With a wary breath, he turned to the Thestral beside him, as he reached out with a pale trembling hand to rest on its bony snout.

"You've been quite the companion, haven't you?" The corner of Severus' lips twitched into a small smile. The creature snorted lightly, content in the company of one of the few people who dared to give them any attention. The Thestral nudged the man again, "Don't give me that. You know why I can't name you." He lifted his hand to watch as the tremor remained consistent. He knew this was one of the unfortunate effects of his illness. The poison within him halted, as the curse teased his mortality, making him further suffer in silence. A slow and painful death was not what he wanted.

These same trembling hands were the same ones who killed his previous Death Eater comrades that night. Slaughtering them, without hesitation. He was not about to let them off lightly from his grasp. But his decision also cost a poor young victim, his life. He should have foreseen that. His anger blinded him, and he should have done more to prevent that innocent loss of life. There was always another way.

It could have been Ginny Weasley dead in that cage.

Picking himself up from his perch against his usual ancient oak tree, Severus made the decision to Apparate to his old home at Spinner's End. He'd been avoiding his return here ever since his mission with the Gryffindor trio a few weeks prior. Now that the dust had settled there – both figuratively _and_ literally – He entered through the disillusionment wards that were still in place from his last visit. From the outside, it looked just like one of the usual replicas of the houses that lined this dreary street. But once you step through the magical enchantments, is then you see the extent of the damage caused by the Death Eater's who set alight his home in retaliation. A home he previously gave up to the Dark Lord's cause, and the thought of his home previously being offered up to him was utterly repulsing.

He walked through the charred doorway; door no longer existent, as it remained in wooden splinters scattered inside. Sections of the wall of the property were missing due to its extensive damage. There was rarely an item within that provided him any sentimental value to him, but the home was still under his ownership. Not that this home itself meant anything to him whatsoever. If any, it gave him too many terrible memories as a scared little child, waiting for the next whip to the back, or bruise to the face. He was more than happy to see this place in ruins. Too many corners of the home previously occupied by his frightened, cowering young self. That in itself was sentimental enough. It deserved to be up in flames.

With that bitter thought, Severus instinctively reached for the spot on his right arm still lightly scarred from that night his father hit him with a belt, remembering the searing pain as the buckle caught his skin. He vividly remembered leaving for the Hogwarts the day after during the start of his second year and doing his best to mask the pain – both physical and emotional. Even now, those scars still remain.

Despite Hogwarts still providing him with terrible memories, it was still more of a home than this place ever was.

Once he scouted the floors for anything further he could salvage, picking apart any piece of destroyed furniture he could, Severus departed the property and Apparated to Malfoy Manor. The Potions Master began to make the familiar journey up through the pretentious cobblestone pathway, lined with various statues and pristine shrubbery, and past the large black iron gates. Brandishing his own Dark Mark like a key, the serpentine markings on the door glowed where the door opened with a click. It seems to be the only use for the faded mark, which was still imbued with a dormant power long after the Dark Lord was vanquished.

Once he walked through the front doors, immediately the unmistaken scent of alcohol wafted under his nose, setting off alarm bells within his brain. The chill within the air was sharp, and even despite the early morning light which pierced the large arch windows of the Manor, it was not enough to warm this dwelling. The bitter cold was enough to send shivers down his spine. This place held no warm memories for him. It was all but tainted by the presence of the Dark Lord, and the ill-fortune that seemed to bestow anyone who was merely a guest.

Severus immediately made his way to the main sitting room on the ground floor as a good place to start. Walking into the room, he found Draco sprawled onto the large sofa, lightly snoring away. His white shirt wrinkled and unkempt; sleeves rolled all the way up in a lazy manner. His blonde hair messy and appears it has been unwashed for quite some time. The Slytherin's shoes were still on his feet, his wand lay dormant on the table beside a quarter glass of whiskey, with an empty bottle. Another empty bottle lay scattered across the ornate rug, as some shards of glass lay dangerously against the marble floor.

Severus took a few hasty strides towards the boy and watched for any abnormal signs. His breathing was deep, but not alarming. The smell of alcohol drenched the room, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that the teenager had been drinking all night. Against Severus' advice previously. Withdrawing his wand, he turned to the fireplace and ignited the flames, instantly bringing some measure of warmth within the room. Little by little, he began to the vanish the broken shards littering the floor and cleaned up whatever spilled whiskey he could find on the table, including along Draco's shirt. Once he was done with the clean-up, he conjured up a blanket and gently placed it across the teenager barely causing him to stir.

He stood there for a few moments, watching his Godson carefully with deep concern and guilt for not doing more. Another boy he did not know how to help. Upon hearing the light patter of feet on the marble floor, Severus' onyx eyes darted to his side to find Narcissa standing by the doorway, looking generally upset. In all his years of knowing this woman, there was never a time he saw her looking unkempt and disheveled. Except now.

Narcissa always took pride in her appearance and taking much care of the nobility and social status of the Malfoy family. She had to appear powerful; rich, and elegant. Classy, yet distinguished. To stand beside her husband Lucius in honor and commanding within their presence. To gain influence and authority within the wizarding world was their highest priority. They reveled in that power.

But now Narcissa stood at the doorway, blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun barely held together by a single silver clip. Her face contained no ounce of make-up; something she usually took great care of no matter the situation. The only jewelry she wore was her ornate wedding ring, and she wore casual grey pants and a simple black blouse. Severus cared not for the appearance of others, but for someone like Narcissa, the sight was a little unnerving and unexpected. Her eyes were noticeably red, and it was plainly obvious that she had been crying recently.

Taking a few steps away from Draco, Severus walked over to Narcissa relaxing the frown he had on his face, following her into the next room to allow Draco space to rest.

Severus turned to Narcissa with concern, "How long has this been going on?"

"Long enough, "Narcissa's tone of voice was dull and wary, "Oh Severus, do not act surprised."

Severus sighed, "I discussed this with him upon my last visit. Yet again, he refuses to see reason."

The woman paused, observing the man before her, until she raised her eyebrow, "I suspect you haven't heard?"

"I have not exactly been well-versed in the social dynamics of the wizarding world recently, Narcissa."

She appeared saddened. "Lucius' case will not be put to trial. Well, at least not for a long while. The Ministry cares not for his plea but they said they may consider it in the near future. Otherwise, he will spend the rest of those days rotting in Azkaban…" Narcissa's voice broke, as she did her best to keep her composure, "The Wizengamot are hesitant in trialing Death Eaters this time. Especially those who were noticeably loyal to the Dark Lord. There is not much hope left for him."

Severus' dark eyes flashed with certitude, "I am not surprised in the slightest."

Narcissa scoffed, "How could you _say_ such a thing? You've known Lucius for _years_. You adopt the same Mark as he!"

"I wasn't the Dark Lord's loyal leashed _hound_ , "Severus hissed. "It would be false to presume I'd be shocked with this revelation. I _foresaw_ that outcome."

"And yet Draco will be, once again, without his father, "Tears welled up within Narcissa's eyes, "I don't understand how _you_ are entitled to escape punishment, Severus."

Severus recoiled, "Entitled? I am _still_ upholding my duty. And permission from the Minister himself. Furthermore, I wouldn't go that far as to say I _escaped_ punishment."

"Protecting that Potter brat? Are you _daft_ , Severus? There's nothing left to protect him _from_! _You_ are responsible for the downfall of our Master. Your _betrayal_ -"

"- HE got what he deserved. As did Lucius. His choices were _continually_ immoral. If he had any measure of concern for the safety of you and your son, his sentence would not have been as severe. Draco _endured_ the Dark Mark to atone for _his_ failures. Lucius put you _both_ in incredible danger."

"Don't tell me what _my_ husband should or shouldn't have done! You have _no_ right!"

"And yet you and your son are paying the price, are you not? "Severus pointed to the sleeping Slytherin in the other room, to prove his point, "And now he _thinks_ resorting to alcohol as a nightly routine will fix his problems."

Narcissa grew silent, as a few tears finally fell. She lowered her head, voice dropped to a mere whisper, "…I don't know how else to help him. I've _tried_ talking to him, but he will not listen to me. We have no one else to turn to."

Severus exhaled softly, merely unsure of how else to comfort the distraught woman before him, "I do not know what else to suggest. I can attempt to talk to him again, but I highly doubt he wants to hear that from me. _Nevertheless_ , I taught Draco under my wing at Hogwarts for six years. He _knows_ me. I will see to it that I reason with him."

"I hope so. Because I surely cannot, "Narcissa tried her best to brush away the tears, until she looked hopelessly at Severus.

Severus noticed the defeat in her tone of voice and did his best to reassure her, "Hope is all we have, Narcissa. Even if at times, we lose sight of it."

The woman nodded, "Yes, I suppose so."

"Don't give up on him. He is in a delicate state, and he needs _you_ on his side. We are headed into trying times, as we attempt to mend our _broken_ lives. It is difficult for us all."

Narcissa placed her hand on Severus' forearm, causing him to flinch slightly from the unexpected touch, the faint scar lines resulting from the Unbreakable Vow still evident on her skin's surface, "I am glad you are here. Traitor to the Dark Lord or not, you've always been an integral part of the Malfoy family. That I knew, was genuine. You would not have bothered to return here if you didn't have any measure of compassion for our family. Especially, for Draco."

Gently pulling away from Narcissa, he clasped his hands behind of him, trying his best to retain his personal space without offending the woman, "I always maintain integrity, and I will uphold my word that I stand by him should anything happen."

Narcissa looked relieved, "Thank you, Severus."

The man frowned, "Speaking of which, has another attempted to contact you?"

Narcissa drew in a deep breath, and exhaled softly, shaking her head, "No. Not a word. They all fled after Hogwarts, and I haven't seen them since. They must have deemed the Manor unsafe for them, for fear we might expose them out of self-perseverance."

Severus pursed his lips, " _Good_. For now, fear will be enough to drive them away. You don't need the added danger -" Suddenly he was struck by vertigo, as a ringing in his ears caused him to wince in pain. He swayed slightly on the spot, reaching outwards to steady himself against the doorframe.

"…Severus?"

Severus outstretched his other palm to halt the woman, "A…minor hindrance. Mind if I retreat to your guest room – "

"- Of course, you may. My home is always welcome to you. Do you need -" Narcissa was concerned.

He shook his head, "- Not at all, Narcissa. I appreciate the hospitality. I will return downstairs later to see Draco. Excuse my departure."

Severus turned away from Narcissa and began to make his way to the grand staircase, taking a shortcut through the smaller ground floor dining room. Using the handrails to steady himself, he felt the world around him spin several times. The sudden onset caught him by surprise, and he knew he had over-exerted himself within the last few days. Once he finally reached the familiar guest room, nausea began to build up within the pit of his stomach, as he made an immediate dash to the adjoining washroom and within seconds, made it to the basin of the toilet in time to expel whatever contents of his stomach he had left. He felt the surface of his skin flush, as vertigo took hold of him once again. He shut his eyes tightly, trying his best to maintain some measure of control. He heaved again, expelling nothing but acidic bile, leaving the foulest taste remaining within his mouth. He allowed himself time to kneel upon the marble floor tangling amongst his black robes until it was safe to stand again. Once vertigo passed, he gradually pulled himself onto his feet and attempted to clean himself up at the sink basin, flushing his mouth from the extreme distaste and bitterness that he could not seem to erase.

One glance of the mirror, and he immediately regretted doing so. He felt, and looked like, he had endured several rounds of the Cruciatus curse. His head was throbbing to the beat of his own heart. His skin several shades paler than usual, and his raven-colored hair more unkept than he ever cared for. A shower would be a wise decision if not for the urge to puke again. Glancing downwards at the dressing plastering across the side of his neck, he grumbled at the prospect of changing it again. It had become quite a daily chore for the man, and even he was repulsed by the horrific state of the infected wound. The black tendrils that were so prominently encased around the wound, had been growing by the day because it seems he consistently needed to enhance the size of the dressing in order to conceal it. He didn't want anyone to notice the gruesome progression of the curse.

For now, rest was what he needed at this time.

Once he had enough with the sight of the washroom, he fumbled within the pockets of his robe, and pulled out of the remaining vials of the anti-nausea potions that Granger had so thoughtfully brewed for him previously, and immediately downed the liquid in one go. Re-pocketing the now-empty vial, he stumbled his way back to the guest bed as the sunbeams from the morning light pierced the room, causing the light sensitivity to induce a sharper headache. Withdrawing his wand, he flicked it at the curtains, but all it did, was ruffle as if a slight draft caught them. Frowning, he tried again, with all but the same result. Cursing harshly under his breath, he walked up to it and closed the curtains with frustration, and stumbled back to the guest bed. Perhaps he was unfocused due to his exhausted state. He only hoped that was the case. He felt too poorly to deal with that just yet.

An empty goblet sad idly at his bedside and Severus barely managed to successfully fill it with water – much to his relief - and downed the entire contents. He felt parched and dehydrated and knew full well he has been neglecting his own needs lately. Once he was satisfied enough, he allowed himself to lay back onto the bed, and within minutes he fell asleep as he finally succumbed to his exhaustion.

Severus managed to sleep for several hours without any further disturbance and awoke feeling a little more energised and manageable in pain. Rising up from the comfort and warmth of the guest bed, he made sure to utilise the shower to refresh himself and give his clothes a proper clean with a simple charm. He vaguely remembered his fluctuating magic previously but pushed that from his mind as he blamed it merely on his lack of cognitive awareness in spite of his vertigo and nausea. Once he completed that task and got dressed, he decided to tackle his dressing, taking extra care to change the bandage without further aggravating it. It was all but a ticking time bomb, not knowing when the curse will further spread, along with its poisonous remnants. That alone was enough to scare _even_ him.

Wandering back downstairs, Severus eventually found Draco sitting by himself in the small Malfoy library, with his face buried in a large tome. Sunlight poured from the large arch windows, casting a comforting warm glow over the old bookshelves, filled with tomes passed down through generations of the pureblood family. Draco sat at one of the varnished wooden tables, wand resting idly beside the book. As Severus stepped inside the room, the young Slytherin looked up with a frown.

"You look bloody terrible."

Severus noticed dark circles under the teenager's eyes. His face thinner than he last recalled, and there was still a faint scent of alcohol in the air from his previous and most recent pastime. He sat down across from the Slytherin and pursed his lips. "Allow me to extend the same criticism."

With a _hmpf_ , Draco sneered at the man sitting before him, "What are you doing here, anyway? Freedom finally _boring_ you?"

Severus tilted his head at the teenager's sharp remark, "You seem to be under the false impression that I can roam the countryside and do as I please without consequence. I am _not_ so free, Draco. " Severus noticed Draco's look of disgust and resentment and wondered if his bad mood was influenced by the whiskey he drank overnight, "Perhaps if you _refrained_ from consuming the whiskey as I discussed with you previously, you'd have a more _reasonable_ and sound frame of mind. I told you that it would not solve your problems."

Draco bawled his hands into a tight fist, noticeably trying to subdue his rising anger, "I suppose my dear _mother_ told you about my father?"

Severus nodded grimly, "Yes, she has informed me. However, Draco, be thankful that you do not have your _own_ cell in Azkaban."

"Oh yeah? Because I really have the better deal here, then, haven't I?" Draco slammed his fist on the table, tipping over the dormant candleholder off the table allowing it to fall to the floor with a loud crash. Severus did not even flinch.

"You're _alive_ , Draco. Be grateful for that," Severus' baritone voice emitted a touch of annoyance at the teenager's lack of optimism.

"Grateful? So, the Ministry cleared me of charges because they felt _pity_ for me? I can't even walk out of that door, without the entire pathetic magical community _sneering_ at me in repulsion. So, don't give me that wise-cracking pep talk, emSeverus/em."

Severus eyed the teenager in warning, " _Calm_ yourself. I cannot reason with you when I still smell alcohol plaguing your breath."

"Maybe one day you'll stop treating me like a bloody _adolescent_ child," Draco rolled his eyes, " _Huh_ , like you never drink. You mean to tell me you never _once_ decided to resort to the bottle when you were neck-deep in your little spy duties?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, ignoring the Slytherin's remark about treating him like a child, "I was _never_ an alcoholic. I drank whiskey on rare occasions, but I _never_ allowed that to consume me. I am well-versed in the implications of that. "He was almost tempted to tell him about the uncontrollable bouts of anger his Muggle father adopted when he was a severe alcoholic himself. But he really did not fancy divulging on the details that often resulted in very dark nights for his younger self.

Draco said nothing, as he turned back to his book and angrily turned the next page, still with a look of wretched distaste upon his face.

The Potions Master gave a light sigh, observing the Slytherin carefully, "Any further news regarding the retaliation efforts?"

The younger Slytherin looked back at Severus and frowned, "You mean risking myself going back out there? And for what?" Severus looked unamused, and Draco curled his lip, " _No_ , I've heard nothing. Though I swear I've seen someone lurking out there a few times. Beyond the wards. "

Severus crinkled his brow in deep concern, "…Who? Your mother was _adamant_ she has not been contacted -"

"- That's because she doesn't know. And I'd rather not worry her like that, if i'm to be honest," Draco lowered his voice slightly. "Besides, your guess is as good as mine. They were masked."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

Draco paused in thought, "Ah, well. About three days ago, I think. I only ever saw one. "

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, not liking the sound of that at all. Wonderful. Just what he _didn't_ want to hear. He clenched his jaw, and leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms neatly over his chest, "Are the wards still in check?"

Draco nodded, "Yeah, they are. I check them multiple times a day. Check them yourself if you don't trust me."

"Good. Though I may suggest you _remain_ indoors for now. I shall extend my stay here and keep a watch on the boundaries in case of foul play. I wish to catch the intruder."

"Who do you think it is?"

"I know of a few of our fellow _fiends_ still alive. Antonin, Walden, and Merek are still at large. Though upon my pursuit at the Quarry base yesterday, neither of them were present."

Draco frowned in confusion, "Base? What are you talking about?"

Severus pursed his lips. He was hesitant informing Draco at first but decided to keep it vague for his own protection, "A rescue mission for recent captives."

"You wouldn't have managed that by yourself. Even I know you're not _that_ reckless. Who did you go with?" Severus remained silent, and he knew Draco was more intelligent than he believed himself. Draco's face gradually contorted in disgusted, " _Them_? You went with _them_? Blimey, when do I vomit? You can't be serious!"

"My predicament is a little different from yours, Draco."

"Why even bother? Most of the wizarding world still _hate_ you, too. Why not just pack up and leave? _Forget_ them. It's not your job to pick up _their_ pieces."

Severus flinched at the remark, feeling his skin flush with annoyance, "It is not that simple."

"Sure, it is. You have no need to stick around because it's not going to _benefit_ you in the slightest, "Draco curled his lip, "You should flee now before you end up in Azkaban sharing a prison cell with my father. I didn't bring you back so you could _join_ him."

Snape eye's flashed with a building rage, as he sneered in his silky, deep voice, "That is quite _enough_ , Draco." The man paused, leaning forward in his chair, watching the fired-up Slytherin and clearly having enough of his attitude. "My reasons are my own. You couldn't even _begin_ to comprehend them."

"Well, I clearly know what _your_ priorities are. Trying to get back into the good books with them? Attempting to win back whatever recognition you _think_ you deserve? Oh, please! Yeah, I comprehend that quite well."

Severus flinched, feeling like someone drove a pin through his heart. "What _nonsense_ are you regurgitating, Draco? I made a crucial choice to… _do_ the right thing. When people I cared about were in danger, I saw clearly when I realised I made a terrible mistake in following the Dark Lord on this… _destructive_ path."

"Yeah well, at least _you_ had a choice! The right thing? What a load of bull! You don't _care_ , you never did. You'll still _grovel_ at the Ministry's feet to earn you a free pass out of Azkaban. If you hated the Dark Lord, why didn't you fight him yourself? You're _still_ a coward."

Severus slammed his hands on the table in front of him, seething in rage, "I AM NOT – "

"- _Whatever_ helps you sleep at night. _Sir_ , "Draco shot Severus the filthiest look he could muster and slammed the book closed, rising up from his chair. "This conversation is _finished_." With that, Draco stormed out of the Library, leaving Severus sitting alone.

Severus ran a frustrated pale hand over his sullen face, as he watched the Slytherin depart from his company. His hands were trembling, and his head shook with rage, as he felt the beginnings of a headache begin to manifest again.

He didn't expect him to understand, nor was he wanting to explain those reasons to him. He had to try and remain level-headed. In time, the teenager will see reason, but that would have to be a discussion for another time. In truth, he really couldn't disclose those details with him. That he was spending the last few weeks making sure Potter didn't get himself accidentally killed. That he was still undergoing a mission to keeping him safe. Sure, there really was no need to keep doing so, as the Dark Lord was now gone. But since coming to a mutual truce and an understanding, Severus never expected to develop some measure of concern for the boy. Perhaps a touch of empathy, which Severus made himself ill to even consider such a thing was possible for him.

All in all, Draco was a different boy to deal with. Draco was, essentially family, and he didn't want to let him and Narcissa down. They were relying on him to watch over their family during this time, and he had an unforeseen duty of care, and he'd be dammed to allow that to crash and burn as a repeat of his past mistakes. Now he had a chance to do the right thing, for both teenagers. Despite Draco's still skewed view upon Severus' decisions regarding the war.

Severus stayed at Malfoy Manor for a few days in order to observe the wards and whatever unwanted intruder decided to appear. But neither incident resulted in any find. No one appeared in sight that may look suspicious. He very well knew that it wasn't a one-off incident and that it was highly likely that they would return, much to Severus' deep concern. Despite that, he was careful to check the wards for any sign of disturbance and being thorough in combing the Malfoy grounds as a precaution.

Each day Severus' grew more wary, and he knew he'd have to return sooner or later to Grimmauld Place to retrieve the remainder of his antidotes. He didn't expect to be away this long, but he had to be certain that Malfoy Manor was safe enough before he considered departing once again. So instead of heading back to headquarters, he made the decision to contact Kingsley Shacklebolt in order to discuss those matters in private. There was no way he can be at both places at once.

Severus chose Hogwarts as the safest meeting ground to talk to the Minister, which was an ideal location for both of them. He knew he'd eventually have to face Kingsley regarding the Quarry incident, but that was not his priority as such. Severus waited, almost a little too impatiently, within the clocktower courtyard, beside the fountain he was particularly fond of. And for once, he could admire it without having to be pulled away from his teacher, Order, or Death Eater duties.

"Ah, Severus, "The Minister strolled up rather calmly from the courtyard entrance, greeting Severus with his usual kind demeanor. He always favored Kingsley from the Order, as he was one of the few people he could actually wholeheartedly tolerate and at least one of the more sensible members who was always attentive to what Severus had to say.

"Minister. I appreciate you meeting with me here, "Severus nodded in acknowledgment, "Apologies for the untimely notice."

Kingsley gave a small light-hearted chuckle, " _Kingsley_ , will suffice, Severus. We've known each other for quite some time, have we not? I'm still not quite used to _Minister_ yet."

"Of course, "Severus clasped his hands behind his back, neatly, "I have a matter I'd like to address with you rather urgently."

"Yes?"

Severus pursed his lips, "It is regarding the Malfoys."

"If this is about Lucius…?"

"Not at all. That, I understand. However, my concern lies with Draco and Narcissa. I believe a Death Eater has been spotted by Draco himself beyond the wards of Malfoy Manor."

Kingsley frowned, "Are they still communicating with them?"

Severus shook his head, "No, they have completely detached from them. I have been to the Manor myself, and I can assure you, that they are concerned for their lives. They want nothing more to do with the regime. "

"I see, "Kingsley paused in thought, "I can suggest posting an Auror or two there to keep an eye on the property if that is what you wish? I will screen them myself to ensure that we don't run into problems again."

"That would be most helpful. I cannot always be there if I am to continue to ensure the safety of Mr. Potter at headquarters and further coordinate. I know the remaining Malfoy's have been cleared of charges; however, they are also in danger."

"I will see to it that it gets attended to, Severus. Worry not, "Kingsley said, reassuringly, "Besides, we need to keep you out of the limelight. Any capture by an Auror and I'm afraid my political hands will be very much bound. I alone, cannot sway the decision of the Wizengamot. I hope you are aware of the risks?"

Severus furrowed his brow, "I am indeed aware. Though you know I cannot sit around waiting. "

"I understand, however, just…watch yourself. You will be of no use to anyone captured. Or dead. I'd quote Alistair, but I know you've heard that far too often to be reminded again."

"That wretched _constant_ _vigilance_. Yes, and that worked rather well for him, didn't it?" Severus sneered.

" _Severus_. Even though I had my doubts about you like everyone else did, I still hold a measure of respect for you by what you did, "Kingsley spoke firmly, but his expression turned to warning, "But _please_ , next time you send teenagers barely of age into an extremely dangerous rescue mission, you _must_ inform me prior. Is that understood? I will do my best as Minister to provide the necessary precautions, but I _cannot_ protect you if you get caught. "

Severus curled his lip, as he nodded. He knew full well, the implications of such a risk. However, he wasn't a fool. He would never dare send those teenagers into a danger zone unprepared and will do his utmost best to ensure their safety by any means necessary. There was no point arguing with Kingsley about this, but he did understand the man's concern. For now, he won't be taking the warning any lightly, and getting thrown into Azkaban was not on his agenda. Especially if that left both Draco – and Potter – open and vulnerable to attack.

Severus had to be extremely careful.

Departing from the meeting, Severus decided to finally make his way back to Grimmauld Place to check up on the Gryffindors. Since the attack on the Quarry, he hadn't returned as he was occupied with the happenings at Malfoy Manor and dealing with Draco's foul attitude. But he desperately needed to replenish the potions stock, both for emergency needs, and his own.

It was growing nearer to dusk, as the Spring afternoon ended. Once he reached beyond the magical boundaries of Hogwarts, he Disapparated away and reappeared at the familiar enclosed park across the street from Grimmauld Place. However, upon immediate Apparition, a wave of vertigo and nausea hit him again unexpectedly, causing him to stumble and immediately drop to his knees, expelling further contents of his stomach into the unfortunate shrubbery beside him. Severus scrambled to steady himself, as he felt the world around him spin further. His breathing grew shallow, yet irregular, as the surface of his face flushed with an abnormal warmth. Waiting for a few minutes, the dizzy spell eventually calmed to a tolerable dullness, and he was able to scramble up shakily on his feet once again.

He didn't remember much from this point onward because everything seemed to spin within his vision. Narrowing missing a Muggle pedestrian on a bicycle, Severus was able to navigate himself across the street and towards the familiar black door of Grimmauld Place. Once he pushed through the door, everything became hazy.

The last thing Severus remembered, was the face of Hermione Granger racing towards him before he blacked out.


	31. Stepping Stones

* * *

**NOTE** : Just a heads up – This chapter overlaps and taking place simultaneously with the previous Chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER 31: Stepping Stones

**14 Days until the Full Moon**

After revealing Snape's prognosis to Professor McGonagall yesterday, Harry did feel a slight weight lift off his shoulders. It didn't feel right withholding such information from her, and despite knowing how angry Snape would feel about this, it was still the right decision. It really wasn't fair on Harry to keep this secret amongst his friends, because in all honesty, he was panicking. The thought of taking care of a dying man was a frightening thought for the teenager, and he knew he should not take this burden upon as his own. He knew full well that he was not obliged to do so, and yet he felt responsible.

It wasn't fair to place Harry in this position and crush him with such a responsibility, but there really was no safe alternative. At times Harry's anxiety would creep up within his chest, causing his heart to beat painfully faster. What if they messed this potion up? What if it kills him quicker? Harry would never forgive himself for causing the man further pain, when all he wanted, was to take it all away. It caused him to feel as guilty for wishing death upon the man because even his greatest enemy did not deserve the crippling agony of a curse tearing you from within ever so slowly.

Today was the day where they would need to start the potions for the Transference spell or the _Anathema_ _Excerptum_ , as it was so-called. Harry was anxious. There were many elements to this spell, and the potions themselves were extremely time-sensitive and delicate in its ancient process. It was an old spell – consisting of potions and a series of invocations designed to effectively tear the curse from the host, which filled up roughly ten pages within the old tome Hermione found, dating back to 1501. The spell itself was nauseating, from what Hermione had explained to him. She held onto the book ever so tightly, that even Harry was unable to read each page. His only thought was that perhaps he could not comprehend its complexity, so decided not to question her about it and trusted her wholeheartedly. Which was not necessarily unusual.

Harry eventually informed Ron and Hermione that McGonagall knows about Snape's prognosis, which did give the others a sense of relief. Himself, included.

The trio made their way back to the unused classroom at Hogwarts once dusk settled, along with the remaining herb supply that Neville kindly delivered for them. They were required to begin the potions on the first night, which will conclude within the same hour, fourteen days from commencement. Once they arrived, they found Neville and Luna preparing some of the herbs in advance, leaving Hermione absolutely appreciative of the extra helping hands. By candlelight, Neville was gently cutting up some of the freshly picked squill bulbs, whilst Luna was happily grinding up fresh unicorn horn at their makeshift potions bench. The white glow of the moonlight spilled into the classroom, casting a peculiar eeriness, which to Harry, was rather fitting for what they were about to do.

"We figured we'd give you a bit of a head start with the preparation. I hope you don't mind, "Neville greeted the trio, still rather focused on his preparation, "The squills had to be prepared soon after harvesting, so it made more sense to prepare them here, right away."

Hermione began by double-checking the ingredients list for both potions; something she did at every opportunity, and Harry was surprised she didn't yet have it all memorised. "Not, at all Neville. Honestly, this is fantastic. These potions are a bit of a nightmare, and we're grateful for the extra help."

"Do we have everything we need?" Harry asked, glancing at the now melted down and cooled Occamy shells on the table beside the empty cauldron.

Hermione nodded, still checking her list within the tome a named _Shadow-Phases of Alchemy: Blight Manipulation, Concealment, and Extraction, Volume Five_ in which she was able to obtain within the dark depths of the Restricted Section, "It appears so. Ron, are you able to fill up that silver bowl from the water pitcher over there, right to the brim, and place it on the window ledge?"

Without questioning, Ron did exactly as she asked, "…So, what if this doesn't work?" The Weasley carefully carried the now-filled ornate silver bowl over to the window's ledge, allowing the bowl to bask in the direct moonlight overhead.

Hermione looked at him quizzically, "I am confident it will. I spent _hours_ cross-referencing this spell with other texts in vast detail, and it _has_ been performed before. Plus, Neville has also helped me identify some of the rarer herbs listed. Of course, it's not an easy spell, hence why not many have bothered with it, according to historical records of previous casters. It's an incredibly _old_ incantation, Ron."

"Yeah, but what if it _doesn't_?"

The room fell silent, as everyone stopped what they were doing to look at Ron. Harry felt a little uncomfortable with the thought, and he did have a point. Nothing they did here was guaranteed, but he had to at least remain optimistic about it.

Harry clenched his jaw, "…Then, Snape runs out of time, "He turned to the small cauldron, and began to measure out the required volume of freshwater that they previously obtained from the Great Lake." Look, we won't know until we try. There have been incidences where it _has_ been successful, and that's enough for us to attempt this, don't you think?"

Ron shrugged, "Yeah, I suppose. It's just…complicated."

Hermione began on the second cauldron, preparing the freshwater base for the final potion, which was a three-month straight brew, "Well, it's not a swish-and-flick kind of spell, Ron. This one is _highly_ specific, requiring four potions in total, and a series of incantations required to elevate its spell power. It's not like we are curing the common cold."

Igniting the burner of his cauldron, Harry waited for the water to begin simmering before adding five drops of dragons blood, watching as the liquid automatically turn scarlet, "At least this is not a _Dark_ ritual. No sacrifices required. Actually, it's quite the opposite. "

"So…why the moon, and not say…The sun?" Ron noticed Hermione's disapproving glare, and shrugged, " _What_? It's a valid question."

"The moon itself has rather a gentle effect, "Luna interjected softly, "The full moon happens once a month when the sun's ray illuminates its surface. When it is shining its brightest and fullest, we're receiving maximum light and vitality. It provides us with grounding and purifying energies."

"Well, burning him in the direct sunlight is hardly the intention, "Neville grinned in Ron's direction. "…But yeah, what Luna said."

Luna collected emptied the freshly ground unicorn horn into a small porcelain bowl, and placed it beside Harry's cauldron, "This spell provides protection to the body of the host, while it works on detaching the curse gradually, as safely as possible. The moon's magical force provides an element of healing, that the sun cannot give. Sometimes when I'm home, I take my pillow with me and sleep outside. Gives me the most peculiar dreams…"

Ron's raised an eyebrow at Luna's last comment, before proceeding to respond to her clarification, "That's…sort of comforting. I mean, we are not performing an exorcism, "The Weasley sat down on the nearest chair, leaning back with his arms crossed over his chest.

Hermione paused in thought, "Well, the logistics are… _admittedly_ , almost identical. The curse itself is something that needs to be extracted, under specific conditions and a magical inscription to accompany that. This method is just…a less of a graphical depiction."

" _Lovely_ ," Harry grimaced. The thought of this incantation resembling an exorcism, caused his stomach to hurl. That wasn't the image Harry needed within his mind, but considering all factors, that is _almost_ exactly what they are trying to do. However, instead of removing the curse entirely, they needed to find a vessel for it. This curse, this…dark _entity_ needed to be removed in order for Snape to recover. Once the curse was extracted, then they can focus on simply treating the poison and manage any long-lasting, or even permanent, effects. However, that was a problem for another day.

One step at a time.

"It'll be alright," Luna mused, turning her big blue eyes towards Harry, sensing his worry, "But Harry, you need to make sure that Snape is confident with this, too. For a moon ritual like this one, and for this spell to work, it requires strong intention. Like a wish. He needs to, well… _Want_ to get better. A ritual like this will not work with negative energies. The moon is all about positive manifestation. Quite simple, really."

"Yeah, real simple, "Harry drew in a deep breath. He definitely had his work cut out for him. However, he has had this conversation with Snape several times before, and each time, he was slowly convincing the man that death was not the answer to his problems. Ironically enough for the Boy Who Lived. But for Snape, it had a different meaning.

The group continued working on the potions for a few hours that night until Neville and Luna departed for home. It was close to midnight when Hermione suggests that they return home themselves. Each potion required roughly about thirty ingredients for each, and they barely made a dent within the instructions. Harry was still stirring his own potion, and after adding in a few more ingredients, turned bright acidic yellow. Hermione's brewing of the final potion had turned a dark plum color and emitted a smell of rotten eggs – which was normal, according to the text – leaving Ron dashing out of the classroom dry-retching. Once they could brew no further that night, Hermione had charmed both cauldrons to self-stir, once the burners were ignited to minimal heat, as per the instructions. Satisfied, the three Gryffindors departed for Grimmauld Place.

The following day was a quiet affair. Harry was dealing with another night of restless sleep, so Hermione suggested she leave early that morning to check up on the potions and begin the next few steps with Ron as her unwilling assistant. That left Harry alone by himself at Grimmauld Place attempting to sleep, but instead spending every waking hour thinking about all the things that could go horribly wrong with this spell. Well, except for Kreacher roaming the halls, mumbling to himself as he usually did. Hermione had already delivered several Muggle medical books to Harry, so he made it his mission to try and read through them that day.

Harry didn't feel comfortable leaving headquarters unattended. Snape had not returned for a few days, and he wanted to make sure at least someone was present in case he decided to show up again. He wasn't concerned about it before, and he knew he'd be back, but given his deteriorating condition, he couldn't help but worry about it. Snape was an adult, with other issues to attend to, and Harry had to try and convince himself that the world didn't always revolve around himself. But given the man's illness and painted target on his back, it was still a worrying thought.

The Gryffindor decided to tackle the potions lab in the basement and make sure they had ample supplies. Their ingredient stocks were painfully dwindling, though a good portion of that was offered up for the curse transference spell that Hermione was currently working on at Hogwarts. Nevertheless, Harry tried to work with what he could. Dedicating several hours over the afternoon, he managed to brew another set of antidotes for Snape, and a few blood-replenishing potions to use up the remainder of the supplies. He had to be sure to make restocking a high priority. Even if that means heading into the Forbidden Forest himself to procure what they needed. He absolutely hated dealing with potion inventories and wondered how Snape managed that at Hogwarts without completely losing his marbles. Even worse when some of his ingredients were often stolen from him.

_Oops._

After he had finished brewing, he collected all of the books he had in his possession and made himself comfortable within the sitting room. Molly Weasley had sent word via Arthur's Patronus that morning, to inform him that Ginny was doing well and was to be released from care at St. Mungo's later that day. With that piece of good news, Harry was sparked with newfound energy, and could barely concentrate on the texts in front of him.

Abandoning his poor study efforts, Harry departed Grimmauld Place and made his way to the Burrow, waiting in anticipation for Ginny to return. Many of the Weasley's were not present at the dwelling, but only George remained home during that time. Molly was still with Ginny, and both Arthur and Percy were at the Ministry.

The Burrow had always felt like home to Harry. He knew that whatever happened, he could trust it to be a safe space for him. Since the day he met the Weasley's on Harry's first journey to Hogwarts within his first year, he always felt like a part of the family. They were welcoming and delightful, and Molly was the closest person to a mother that Harry had ever known. It brought Harry a sense of comfort and solace knowing that he considered them a family – a real family. Every time he stepped foot in the Burrow again, it felt like coming home.

Harry walked into the kitchen and found George nursing a mug of hot chocolate, with marshmallows slowly melting on its surface. The Weasley had since removed the bandage that covered his previously severed ear – something that still disturbed Harry – and he clearly did his best to cover it up with his lengthened, yet unkempt, red hair. He had already informed him that it was Snape's unfortunate handiwork during the aerial battle in their attempt to sneak Harry away from Privet Drive that night. He felt it was necessary to tell him the truth, as he saw in Snape's memories. In the man's attempt to stop a Death Eater from harming both Remus and George, he fired off one of his curses, accidentally sacrificing George's ear in return. George was surprisingly accepting of that, which left Harry incredibly relieved. In fact, George found it mildly amusing in the context of things, and still reveled in the 'holey joke' he told Fred on the night it happened. Harry really couldn't afford another person against Snape during this time.

"…Mind the company?" Harry asked George, who received a lazy nod in return. He chose a seat across from the Weasley, and sat down, "Your dad told me about Ginny coming home today. Just thought I'd see how she was feeling before I go."

George gave Harry a weak smile, "Yeah, she is. Best news I've heard in a while. So, you guys official yet?"

Harry's cheeks flushed, as he gave an embarrassed shrug, "Official? Uh…maybe?"

George took a sip out of his mug, "Understandable, though. It's been a…difficult time, adjusting to the new normal. Whatever that is."

Harry nodded, drawing in a sharp breath, "Yeah, I get that. Are you and Angelina -?"

George raised a cheeky eyebrow, "- Maybe."

"Really? That's – really great!"

The Weasley shrugged, "We're not _official_ either, but…She's been a great friend lately. After losing Fred…She's been wonderful to talk to. Right now, I'm enjoying our companionship. We're taking it super slow."

Harry nodded, "I'm glad. Really. She's patient and understanding. With everything going on, it's…what you need. Sorry, I can't offer any words of advice. "

"Yeah, I know. It's a bit, well… _shite_ , isn't it? Just… _everything_. I still can't believe he's really gone. I still expect him to pull a disappearing prank on me, and return with that silly grin of his, "George's smile faded, as he stared hopelessly into the depths of the mug he was nursing, "…It's like half of me is missing, that I can never get back."

"He would have been proud of you, George. For not giving up, "Harry tried his best to reassure the grieving Weasley, but he didn't know what he could say that would help.

George looked saddened, "Yeah. I _had_ to put on a brave face. For my sister's sake too, along with the rest of my family. It's just…difficult. Sometimes I wake up and throw a pillow at his bed, thinking he's still there… _sleeping_. Then it leaves me feeling _wretched_ all day."

Harry was well-versed in loss, but the thought of losing a twin…Devastated him deeply. He could not even begin to imagine the pain George must be feeling. Having to look into a mirror, echoing the reflection of an identical twin no longer alive. It shattered Harry's heart into a million pieces.

He himself was still grieving over everyone else who fought in the battle of Hogwarts, and throughout the course of his life. Lately, he has been able to control the direction of his mind, by focusing on other things. Like rescuing Ginny and trying to help Snape. Those things at least kept his mind from wandering to darker places. But every so often, he would be reminded of the losses, sending his heart aching in deep sadness and emptiness. He longed for Sirius to be here. Even Remus. They would have taken complete control over the repaired Order, and Harry would be left feeling relieved upon the lifted responsibility. Given he'd have no idea how they would have reacted to Snape's true loyalties, but that didn't matter. They both would have been alive, and to Harry, that would have been enough.

Harry and George sat in silence for a few moments, but eventually, the Weasley quietly excused himself from the table and made his way upstairs. Folding his arms across the table, Harry rested his head on his arms, waiting patiently for Ginny to return. He knew he was a little over-eager to see her, but he just wanted to be sure she was okay, before allowing her to settle back home with her family. There was no way Molly was going to allow Ginny to leave the Burrow for a while, and Harry understood that. She needed to be with the family for a while, and he respected that wholeheartedly. He wanted her to be safe and well, and within the company of her family was the best place for her.

As the afternoon slowly ticked by, Harry eventually fell asleep at the helm of the Weasley's kitchen table.

"Hey, sleepyhead, "A familiar voice gently stirred him away from his unexpected slumber, until his green eyes rested upon Ginny's face. A faint bruise was barely visible on her face now, but she was still beautiful in his eyes.

A wave of relief washed over his face, as he stood up from the table, and enveloped Ginny in a hug, burying his face in the base of her neck. Ginny's arm wrapped around his torso, as they stood there for some time, but at that moment, they both felt safe. Safe within their company once again. Ginny softly kissed his cheek, as she hugged him tighter. Words could not express how happy he was to see her return home. Eventually, they pulled away from each other, still holding onto each other's arms.

"Ginny…It's good to see you back, "Harry smiled.

"You didn't have to wait for me, silly."

"I didn't _have_ to but I…wanted to. I-I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Ginny clasped Harry's hand in her own, "I'm fine, Harry. Really, I feel okay. _Good_ , even. And awfully glad to be home." She raised her hand carrying Harry's and pressed his hand against her cheek. "I'm glad you're here."

Molly squeezed Harry's shoulder gently, as she rounded the kitchen, almost startling him as he forgot that she was still present, "…I'll leave you two alone." The Weasley matriarch left the kitchen, with a pleased smile on her face, leaving Harry and Ginny alone. Together, they walked to the sitting room and sat down on the couch, as they leaned back. Ginny leaned her head on Harry's chest, as he wrapped his arms around her, leaving them both utterly content and comfortable in each other's company. It was the most relaxed Harry's felt in a long while.

"I hope your St. Mungo's stay wasn't too horrid, "Harry broke the silence.

Ginny gave a light chuckle, "It wasn't as bad as people think. The Healers were wonderful, and mum was with me most of the time. I'm just glad they released me today. I couldn't tolerate another day."

"Good, "Pleased with that response, Harry nodded to himself, "I hope you didn't give them a rough time."

Ginny chuckled, "Of _course_ not! Though, I think they were glad to finally get rid of me."

Now it was Harry's turn to laugh, "Always the trouble-maker."

Ginny turned to look at Harry, with a look of amusement upon her face, "Says the _Chosen_ One."

Harry winced at the name, "Ugh, I hope to never be called that again if I'm to be honest. I think it's now since expired."

" _Duly_ noted. I believe that name is far too outdated now, "Ginny re-shuffled herself on the couch, sitting up against Harry's shoulder, "So, what's Ronald up to?"

"Ron and Hermione are at Hogwarts tending to those potions for Snape. We started them last night."

"Well, that came around quick. If you guys need any help…"

Harry shook his head, "It'll be fine for now. Neville and Luna have also been helping out."

"How's Snape? He looked oddly shaken up when I saw him last."

Harry bit his lip, "He hasn't returned since the Quarry. I figured he was just tending to other business. Can't expect him to stay locked up with me, of all people."

Ginny looked concerned, "I was very worried for you. And him. When I was stuck powerless in that cage, all I could do was watch helplessly as those Dementors came after you. "

"It was…Awfully close, "Harry drew in a deep breath, thinking back to that dangerous night.

"Well, let me know when he does decide to show up. I kind of want to thank him. It was pretty badass watching him fight before you got there. He was using the Invisibility Cloak. The Death Eaters were so frustrated when they couldn't see him, and I thought that was _utterly_ brilliant."

Harry smirked, "Yeah, it was _his_ idea to travel down undetected with the Cloak. He sent us the go signal. Everything worked really well. Well, almost completely."

"All hiccups aside, it was quite wonderful to see you both fighting side-by-side. Quite the turnaround of events, isn't it?" The youngest Weasley smirked.

"Yeah, it really is. Ask me several months ago if that was ever possible, and I'd tell you that you were _barking_ mad."

Ginny chuckled, "Well, I definitely don't fancy on physically breaking you both up in the near future."

"For now, things are…Civil, "Harry was incredibly thankful for that. He couldn't even imagine accomplishing the magnificent feat at the Quarry if they were both still at each other's throats. He definitely didn't fancy another showdown with the Potions Master. Harry shifted in his seat, still holding Ginny's hand, "Hey, did you want to go…flying sometime? Just you and me. When it's safe enough, obviously."

"Is that your way of asking me out on a date?"

Harry's cheeks flushed nervously, "Well, I suppose it is."

Ginny smiled, "Well, I'd love that. Once we deal with the rest of this mess, of course. Mum will have a right fit if I even consider leaving the Burrow anytime soon."

"Then, it's a date," Harry smiled, as he tenderly caressed her hand in his. They sat together in blissful silence, comfortable in each other's company. It was a simple connection that ignited Harry's soul; happy to share a love that was equal in return. It made him feel wanted and accepted. He was still rather terrible at the prospect of any kind of relationship, but this was a start and one of the few pure things to happen after everything they've all endured recently. Being with Ginny gave him a sense of blissful joy, and it warmed his heart. It was one of the few things keeping him from being lost within his own mind and kept his head above water. It was a hope he so desperately needed, and now the possibility of them going on a first date sparked nervous butterflies within his stomach.

After sitting together chatting for a short while, from happening of the DA, to the possibility to helping George revive Weasley's Wizard Wheezes joke shop in Diagon Alley, in memory of Fred. They talked of many things, even so simplistic and occasionally mundane, and it reminded Harry of a time when they didn't have a war to worry about. It was a small slice of normalcy that they needed. Ginny wanted to return to Hogwarts and repeat her sixth year, which further sparked Harry's interest in returning for his seventh. It was a lovely thought, and he hoped things will reach some kind of safe medium for them all to return for the other students to return to school once again.

Eventually, Harry left Ginny's side and allowed her time to settle back home, whilst he departed for Grimmauld Place. Content in knowing that she was safe and well, he resumed his task of sifting through the Muggle books, doing his best to retain whatever information he could. Admittedly, he was a little hopeless. He always struggled to study for upcoming tests and exams, but even at his leisure, he was still doing a poor job at doing so. He hated learning from books because he was a visual learner. He could never recite texts within books as effortlessly as Hermione, but Harry was far more confident learning in a practical environment and with someone who could simplify such instructions for him. Hence why he always performed better in practical subjects, such as Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, and Transfiguration.

Harry felt painfully overwhelmed with all this new information, and the more he delved into it, the worse he felt about the entire thing. Trying to keep Snape alive long enough throughout the entire Transference spell was looking even more impossible the more he pondered. This was entirely out of Harry's expertise, even with the help of his friends. Maybe there was a way he could enlist Madam Pomfrey's help, or at least discuss this possibility with McGonagall. Now that the Headmistress is aware of Snape's impending doom, she could suggest alternative ways to help him. Perhaps he could ask Neville to set up a meeting between them, as both he and Hannah were still volunteering at St. Mungo's. For Hannah, she was a little more serious in pursuing a career as a Healer, but at least with some convincing, Harry could ask for Madam Pomfrey's help. After all, the Hogwarts Healer knows Snape, and likely had to tend to his needs returning from unfortunate Death Eater duties.

Hermione had made a stop to Grimmauld Place to check up on Harry, leaving Neville and Luna further prepping ingredients, whilst Ron made a trip back to the Burrow to see his sister.

"Glad to see you've been making use of those textbooks I gave you, "Hermione to a seat across from Harry, looking slightly flustered, "I know they are a little complicated, but it's all I could obtain at the moment.

"It's a little… _overwhelming_ , "Harry flipped a page on the book he held in his hands, and pointed to a detailed diagram of a human brain labeled _Three Types of Strokes,_ "I mean, looking for signs of a stroke? This is _beyond_ me, Hermione. I don't even know what half of these terms mean."

Hermione bit her lip, "Unless you have another alternative?"

Harry helplessly shrugged, "Well, not currently. But when things get _really_ bad – and we both know it will for him – then we are going to need an… _expert_. "

"We can't _take_ him to St. Mungo's. You _know_ the issues that will arise with that, Harry. Could you imagine leaving him there? Once word gets out, and the _Daily Prophet_ is still potentially dangerous right now, he will likely get attacked while he's in there. They will be after him with torches and pitchforks. Remember, not everyone knows what he truly did."

"I know, but…I was thinking of asking McGonagall if it was possible if she can, oh I dunno…Assign Madam Pomfrey to him, since she is Hogwarts staff. Away from St. Mungo's, like… _here_."

Hermione paused in thought, "It's not a bad option, but I thought you said Snape didn't want her involved?"

"Yeah well, I _can't_ keep giving him that choice, Hermione. I don't care how stubborn he is. If she is an option, then we'll take it. Either way, we _need_ a proper Healer. Not amateur students who knows a few basic healing spells. That _won't_ save his life."

"I agree that looking after Snape with what he has is only going to get far more complex. There really is only so much we can do, "Hermione drew in a deep breath, "I think talking to McGonagall about it will be a wise decision. Now that she knows, she'll be able to understand our predicament."

Harry gently closed the book in his hands and placed it on the table in front of him. He leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses as he began to rub his eyes.

Hermione observed Harry's noticeably increased stress, "I know this is _very_ worrying for you Harry. And I'd hate to be the one saying this, but…Even though I _am_ confident that this spell will work, but…there is an _exceedingly_ high possibility that he may not survive, Harry. Either the spell actually fails, or we simply run out of time…" She paused, as she lowered her voice, "I just want you to know that we are all doing the best we possibly can for him. That's more of a chance than _anyone_ has given him."

Placing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose, he looked sadly at Hermione as he nodded grimly, "I know. I-I think about that often. I need to be hopeful, even if I know the possibility of him dying is very real. I just can't let him down. But it's just…Not fair, Hermione. I _know_ that sounds childish, but it's true. I simply refuse death to be his fate, after _everything_."

Hermione nodded sadly, "I know, Harry. And I _know_ this hits harder for you more than anyone. But he knows you _are_ trying for him, and for someone like Snape, I'm sure he appreciates that more than you know. But he's willing to make it this far, right?"

"Yeah, "Harry nodded, feeling his voice break slightly, "Yeah, he is. I also feel bad that I've been trying to keep him hopeful when he may not survive. Is that…cruel of me to do such a thing?"

Hermione was aghast, "Oh, _no_ Harry, please don't think of such a thing. You gave him _hope_ , Harry. That is always a noble thing to do. And I _believe_ that he is starting to see a reason to keep holding on. I mean, surely he has _already_ changed from when you first found him in the Shrieking Shack?"

"A lot, actually. He didn't want to face _anyone_ , and he was ready to die alone, but now…" Harry paused to ponder, "… _Now_ , he is willing to fight alongside us and finish this fight once and for all. And he will keep doing so until he will no longer be able to. Even now, he is still trying to make up for his…sins."

"As you said, no matter what, we _keep_ going. Like we always have, "Hermione offered Harry a small reassuring smile, "We all didn't get this far by giving up. Professor Snape included."

Harry nodded, "Yeah. You're right." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, in a desperate bid to change the subject as he cleared his throat, "I saw Ginny earlier. She arrived home a short while ago. She looked well, and definitely glad to be back."

Hermione smiled, "Yes, Ron informed me. I'll pay her a visit tomorrow once I've set up the Acromantula ashes to infuse with the leech juice for twelve hours. I'm so _pleased_ she is back home. George must have been so relieved. "

"George and I spoke as we were waiting for her."

Hermione lowered her voice, "…How is he?"

Harry sighed, "Struggling. I honestly can't imagine what he must be feeling. He looked so broken."

"Losing a twin…It's just _horrendous_ ," Hermione looked incredibly upset.

"Ginny and I suggested we help him get the shop up and running again. Maybe Ron will be interested? Might help lift his spirits up and keep him occupied and not at home wondering when Fred was going to show up after pranking him."

"He said that?"

Harry nodded sadly, "Among other things."

"Well, that's a wonderful idea, Harry. Once it's safe enough, we can start moving on with our lives, "Hermione leaned back on the couch, "Are you still hoping to go back to Hogwarts for seventh year?"

"Yeah, I do. I didn't like the idea initially, but it feels right to. Now that the threat of Voldemort is gone, we can focus on graduating without looking over our shoulders every day."

Hermione smiled, "Wise decision, Harry. It will be rather odd to be there after everything, however, education is important. I'm sure McGonagall would be overjoyed to have us back."

"She might regret it on the second day, "Harry smirked, "I wouldn't be surprised if she throws us all in detention just to keep us out of trouble again."

Hermione grinned, " _That_ appears likely. I'm trying to convince Ron to return as well, but he's being rather grumpy about it."

Harry chuckled, "Well, I never imagined he'd want to, after everything. I suppose we'll do it without him."

Hermione stood up from the chair, "Alright, I'm going back to Hogwarts to check up on the potions. I shouldn't be too long. "

Gingerly, Harry picked up another textbook as Hermione left the room, intending to continue reading through the afternoon. However, moments later, there a mild _thump_ from downstairs, and Harry looked up, arching his head to the doorway. Seconds later, he heard Hermione's voice yelling from downstairs.

" _HARRY_! GET DOWN HERE QUICKLY! IT'S SNAPE!"

Throwing the heavy book roughly back on the table, he bolted from his chair and ran downstairs to see what fresh hell was in store for them this time.

* * *

**_FOOTNOTE_** : I am SO sorry for the cruel cliff-hanger again! I didn't initially intend to end it like that in this chapter ****ducks****


	32. The Risk of Morality

* * *

**NOTE** : Just a warning for an upcoming awkward scene (on Harry's part) at the start of this chapter, reminisce of something we know in historical canon, in Snape's past. There really was no alternative to it, but Harry's thoughts explain everything, vague because I didn't feel it appropriate delving into the details.

Also, please let me know if the pacing of the story, in general, is too slow. I have a lot planned still, and I don't want to rush into any of the other arcs, without slowly establishing certain points and character connections first. I'm trying to keep the timeline flow as realistic as possible.

Lastly, just a little apology that I can't get this uploaded as soon as I'd like. I have a sick father who I'm attending to every day, so it gets difficult to sit down long enough to chip away at these chapters. You should see the notes on my phone when I'm away from my laptop +_+

* * *

CHAPTER 32: The Risk of Morality

**7 Days until the Full Moon**

Harry bolted downstairs as quickly as his feet could take him, skipping the staircase several steps at a time. Once he reached the ground floor towards the entrance, he found a mass of black robes collapsed in a heap on the floor. Hermione had fallen to the floor beside Snape, gingerly prodding the man's shoulder for any sign of consciousness. Harry looked at Hermione, as he knelt beside them.

"What happened?!"

Hermione was frantic, "I-I dunno. He walked in just as I reached downstairs, and he just must of… _blacked_ out. He didn't say a thing."

" _Snape_? Can you hear me?" There was so further response for the man, leaving Harry to turn to Hermione, "…Okay, we _need_ to get him upstairs. Help me get him onto his back, "Harry and Hermione positioned themselves as they gently rolled the man onto his back, taking immediate notice of the sweat glistening and drenching the raven-colored hair curtaining his face. Snape's neck dressing was seeping through with blood once again, staining the collar of his usual white undershirt. As they rolled him, Harry noticed further wet patches on the man's torso, which he knew was where the other snake bites had occurred previously. Snape's face was pallid and gaunt. His breathing appeared labored, and a small welt was forming on his head from when he fell.

Retrieving her wand, Hermione cast a non-verbal _Mobilicorpus_ Charm on Snape, slowly levitating his body from the ground. Gently, they guided his unconscious form up two flights of stairs, being extremely careful along the narrow corridors. Once they finally reached Snape's room, Hermione gently lowered the man onto the bed, ceasing the charm when it was safe to do so. As Hermione raced down to the Potions lab in the basement, Harry tried his best to remove the man's traveling cloak and upper-pieced black suit as carefully as he could retaining as much dignity as possible, hoping above all else, that the man did not wake at this moment, knowing full well what had happened to him during his worst memory. As soon as he was able to pry off the man's buttons – causing Harry to inadvertently curse under his breath – he left his white shirt remaining. It was then he was able to see the extent of the man's seeping wounds around his torso, resembling the horrific fang marks left behind by Nagini, that would never heal so long as the curse remained active.

Gingerly retrieving his own wand, he carefully opened the man's shirt with his free hand – feeling incredibly guilty with invading on the man's privacy – and tried his best to re-seal the wounds as best and quickly as he could with a simple healing charm. It wasn't the best handiwork, but it at least stopped the smaller wounds from bleeding. Finally closing up the man's shirt, he watched as his breathing slowly began to steady, but the faint sound of wheezing emanating from the man was slightly disconcerting. Harry watched as Snape began to stir ever so slightly, drawing in a shuddering breath every few minutes. Harry retrieved the man's own wand from his inner robe pocket and placed it – a little too forcefully - on the table beside him, earning a very small disapproving growl from the man lying helplessly on the bed.

Harry's cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment.

Beside the wand on the table, Harry could see a single vial of the potion Snape had used previously to clear his lungs and regain normal breathing patterns once again. Snatching the vial, Harry knelt on the ground beside Snape's prone form.

"…Professor Snape?" There was a faint stir from the man upon the call of his name, but still no adequate response. So, he called his name again, as the man's eyelids noticeably struggled to open. "Sir? If you can hear me, open your eyes. Or nod. Or… _something_." There were a few passing minutes where nothing seemed to happen, but Harry watched carefully as Snape eventually managed all but a few shaky nods.

Feeling relieved at the small response, Harry uncorked the potion vial within his hands, "Sir, I have a potion here for your breathing…Let me help you sit up a bit…" Not knowing what else to do, Harry was able to assist the man in raising his head high enough to take the potion within his hands whilst supporting him with his arm. Snape struggled to ingest the potion, as he spluttered a few times, further alarming Harry. Once Hermione re-entered the room, he was able to further assist the man in taking a blood-replenishing potion, one of the specialised antidotes, and an anti-nausea potion. Once he was able to ingest them safely, Harry was able to lower Snape's head onto the pillow and place a single blanket over him. Hermione was able to fill up an empty bowl of ice cubes, allowing Harry to wrap a few within a cloth, and place it over the swelling that was slowly appearing on the man's temple as a result of his earlier fall. Harry managed to sit on the edge of the bed, as he tended to the man directly.

Harry looked over at Hermione still clasping the ice-filled cloth to his head, who watched helplessly at the man's bedside, "…He'll be okay once the potions take effect. He just needs rest."

Hermione's voice was shaky with concern, "I was worried when he hit his head…"

"His breathing has settled a bit, and I've managed to re-seal his other wounds for now, "Harry looked back at Snape, "I'll be okay here, Hermione. Go and check on those potions at Hogwarts. I'll stay with him. If I need you back, I'll send you a message via Patronus, alright?"

"…A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll sit with him."

"Alright, "Hermione looked worried, as she slowly pocketed her wand, "Please, call me. For _anything_."

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I will."

Lingering for a few moments staring at Snape's ill state with a look of devastation and concern, Hermione turned around on her heel and departed Grimmauld Place, leaving Harry alone sitting beside him.

Harry sat with Snape on the edge of the bed, holding the ice to the man's temple for a few more passing minutes, watching the Potions professor begin to snore lightly. Eventually, Harry settled in the sofa chair in the corner, keeping an eye on the sick man before him. For now, they were able to get him stabilised as best as they could, with whatever they had available. At this rate, they are going to need a lot more variety and volume of potions to even get them through this lengthy spell process. He really wasn't liking these odds.

The Gryffindor sat, for what seemed like hours, refusing to leave his side until he awoke. He would have felt guilty the moment he left the room, not being there if anything were to happen. Again, Harry would blame himself. So instead, he stayed where he was. But gradually, Harry began to doze off, fighting sleep until he could prevent it no longer.

He wasn't sure how long he slept for, but he was awoken by the sound of shifting blankets and a heavy, frustrated sigh within the room. Harry slowly began to open his eyes, as he observed Snape trying to best to sit upright without much luck, wincing in pain and occasionally, cursing under his breath. Bolting from his chair, almost startling the man in the bed - who likely didn't realise he still had company - Harry dashed to his side. He began to reach out to assist him, but Snape batted his arm away, fully insistent of doing it himself. Harry watched the man struggle, trying to resist the urge to at least help him move. He didn't want to get on the man's nerves already, so instead, stood back, watching helplessly.

Eventually, Snape managed to sit himself up, sighing heavily as he closed his eyes to regain his breath, leaving Harry to wander back to the sofa and sit on its edge, still watching the man closely. The pair sat in somber silence, hearing nothing more than the old ticking clock within the room.

"…How long have you been here?" The man's croaky voice startled Harry.

"I, ah…Never left, sir."

There was a defeated sigh from the man, who still sat with his eyes closed. Harry bit his lip, unsure if he should leave and give him space away from The Boy Who Lived. Retrieving the empty goblet from the bedside table, he filled it up with a water charm for Snape. Snape warily opened his eyes, and they immediately darted to his shirt, still stained with his own blood. Frowning, he looked over at Harry, who clearly looked uncomfortable.

"S-Sorry…I had to. You were bleeding. I patched them up as best I could…"

Snape peered just under his shirt, observing Harry's amateur healing attempts, raising his eyebrow, "…I daresay, could be worse."

"I'll, err…Leave you be… "Harry made a move to leave.

"… _Stay_ put, Gryffindor, "Snape narrowed his eyes at the teenager, pulling up the blanket against his neck, "So…" He shifted slightly in the bed, "…What was your bright idea for eradicating this… _blasted_ disease?"

Harry drew in a nervous breath, as he sat back down, "It's a… _complex_ spell – "

Snape was clearly impatient, "- _Obviously_. What is it called?"

"I didn't want to tell you… _yet_."

Snape looked dangerously at Harry, "You can't _expect_ me to be on-board with this idea if I have no clue what it is. So, I will ask again, Potter. _What_ is it called?"

"… _Anathema_ _Excerptum,_ " Harry bit his lip in anticipation.

The Slytherin crinkled his brow in thought, "The term sounds vaguely familiar…" Suddenly, he widened his eyes, "If this is _Dark_ Magic, Potter – "

Harry immediately shook his head, "- It's _not_ , sir. We've…already begun the required potions. "

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, " _Why_ didn't you approach me about this _before_ you commenced with it? I _demand_ to see wherever it is you stumbled across this spell."

"We didn't want to tell you before, because…Well. You may not have wanted us to try it."

"I am _not_ your experimental rodent, Potter," Snape looked over at Harry, and narrowed his eyes, "Is it a blood ritual?"

"No."

"…Any sacrifice required?"

" _No_ , of course not."

Snape frowned, "Is it time-sensitive?"

Harry nodded, "… _Very_."

The Potions Master paused in thought, not knowing how to proceed with such information, "What book did you procure this from?"

"Hermione has it. She's tending to the potions at Hogwarts as we speak. One potion must be brewed every two weeks, and the final one takes the entire duration of three months. As I said, it's… _complex_. When she comes back, you can see it for yourself."

"I still think you are _all_ wasting your time."

"That's why we didn't want to tell you yet. _This_ is the only solution we could find."

Snape sighed heavily, appearing incredibly exhausted, "And a _waste_ of precious ingredients."

Harry frowned, "It's not a _waste_ if it can potentially save your life."

" _Potentially_."

Now it was Harry's turn to sigh frustratingly, "You know, it wouldn't hurt to have a little _optimism_."

Snape scoffed, "Says the ever-valiant _Chosen_ One."

" _Stop_ calling me that. I know you are trying to deflect me when you're being an… _arse_."

Snape frowned at the teenager, "…I _beg_ your pardon?!"

"Don't deny it, sir. It's true, isn't it? I'm not as _stupid_ as you think I am."

Snape pursed his lips at the Gryffindor, "I never said you were… _stupid_. Just – "

"– Just _what_? Stop berating me for no bloody reason, and work _with_ me on this."

Snape paused, as he clenched his jaw, "…As I said, you are wasting your time."

"This spell will only work if you _want_ this. I'm not going to see you drop dead because you think it's the _easy_ option. We can't do this by ourselves, so you need to…meet us halfway. Everyone has been helping to put this together. Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville, Ginny…Even Hagrid."

Snape's eyes widened, "…That _oaf_ knows?"

Harry shook his head, "No, but he helped us find some of the rarer ingredients. All I'm saying is that it's not _just_ me. It's a…collective effort. We are _willing_ to go this far. Is that not enough for you?"

Snape looked away from the teenager, unsure of how to respond. Harry couldn't quite read the man's face, unaware of how he was registering this. Snape remained silent. Something he usually did when he simply did not want to answer. Curtains of raven-colored hair shrouded his pale face, hiding whatever emotion he didn't want the Gryffindor to see. But Harry was ever-persistent, and he was the only one who could truly get through to him.

Harry shuffled to the edge of the seat, resting his hands underneath his chin, "Sir. Remember when we first got Grimmauld Place back? We had that conversation in the potion's lab downstairs…You offered to me that you'd become more…dependable. If I so wished. Those were _your_ words. Well…I'm _depending_ on you now. _Look_ into my mind if you don't remember."

Harry heard the man draw in a shuddering breath, as Snape turned to face the Gryffindor again. His onyx eyes glimmered, and instead, his expression turned to defeat as his face softened. The man nodded, and responded quietly, "…Yes…Indeed, I did. I remember quite well. That is…still your wish?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah. Since you asked me the first time… _Yes_. Otherwise, if you regret saying it, _tell_ me, so I know where we stand. I know you pretend not to give a damn when I see that you actually do. "

"It was never a mere slip of the tongue, Potter. I… _meant_ it, "Snape paused again, observing the teenager intently, and with a mild curiosity within his gaze, "… _Alright_. We will proceed with this…spell. _Nevertheless_ , I still insist to see the text. I need to be _fully_ aware of what I'm in for."

Harry exhaled a huge sigh of relief, "That is…That is _brilliant_ , sir."

Slightly off guard by the unexpected response the corners of Snape's mouth twitched ever so slightly into a smile at the teenager beside him, "…I suppose the only risk of that spell, would be the expense of my life. How much worse could it _possibly_ get?"

"Better than doing nothing at all, "Harry responded, then suddenly smirking lightly at his next train of thought with an attempt at some mild humor to lift the heaviness of the air around them. Well, it was risky on the account of the man's unpredictable mood, but who knows…Maybe the man would appreciate it. "…Besides, I refuse to go see Dumbledore's portrait again by myself."

" _You_ wish to drag me there?" Snape scoffed, "I'd rather _bloody_ not. My conscience will _not_ be able to tolerate another _manic_ cryptic response."

Harry smirked, "Well…he _is_ a portrait now. At least, you can just, well… _leave_."

"Perhaps we shall take a bet on which one of us departs first in a feat of fury? "Snape looked rather amused, "My patience tether is painfully thin."

"Well, if my predictions are correct, sir, I'd say…Professor McGonagall might beat us to it," Harry couldn't resist a grin, knowing full well she would be the first to get mad at the three of them collectively.

But suddenly, Snape did something that took Harry by complete surprise. The man chuckled. He clutched the wound at his neck, wincing from the pain with the sudden movements. But it didn't stop him.

Harry wasn't sure if that was sarcasm or actually genuine, but despite that, he felt accomplished. Who else could have achieved the task of causing Severus Snape, the miserable Potions Master, to laugh? If they were going to continue being morbid about the entire situation, and he knew Snape to be heavy with his own dark humor, then they could at least try and see the upside to it. It seems rather amusing that, even though they both didn't always see eye to eye, they could at least attempt to understand each other in some twisted way. If he had this type of heavy conversation with Remus, he would have clearly felt uncomfortable and walked out, and Sirius probably would have told him that he reminded him of Snape and scold him. Well, possibly. It was difficult to know how either of them would have reacted, now that so many things have changed.

Feeling rather content with himself, Harry stood up from his chair, "I'll let you rest a bit, sir. I'll be downstairs…If you need anything." He made his way towards the door.

"…Potter?"

Harry turned around.

Snape opened his mouth to say something but bit back those words. Instead, his mind lingered, as his expression turned serious. Harry could see the inner conflict within him, because he knew very well it was difficult for him to openly express any kind of softness, within whatever emotions were still deeply buried within him, "I was…wrong to assume you were exactly like your father. I…recognise my mistake. But as it turns out you surpassed even the traits of your mother. I was a _fool_ , blinded by past perceptions. You are, in fact, _far_ different than either of them. "The man winced slightly at his own words, not knowing if the teenager would be receptive of them from him, of all people.

A breath caught in Harry's throat as he nodded, catching him completely off guard by the strange compliment from none other than Snape, "I, uh…Thank you. Sir." Mustering up a small smile, he turned slowly on his heel as he left the room. Closing the door gently behind him, he made his way back to the sitting room to curl up by the fire and do his best to pick up another book and continue as he did before finding Snape on the floor, but his mind was racing a little too fast for him to focus.

The man actually apologised. In his own way, of course. And not in the way Harry expected. He knew he felt guilty about the deaths of his parents, but to apologise for perceiving Harry on a one-sided view…That was a shock even to him. Knowing that after all this time – seven years, actually – Severus Snape finally admitted that Harry was his _own_ person. No child was ever like either of their parents, but a mixture of both. But even so, Harry himself knew that he was nothing like his father, and likely more resembling his mother. But understanding some of his mother's dismissive behaviors in her youth, Harry realised that he wasn't like that at all. He was thankful for at least, have some of her more compassionate traits. But he often wondered how different they would have both been if they were still alive today.

Because everyone changes.

Suddenly, his anxiety began to elevate again, and he could feel his heart racing. It was almost as if he finally came to terms with the amount of moral pressure he was facing, juggling the man's life, and especially now that Snape trusted him enough to actually go through with this.

Since the Quarry rescue, neither of them had heard anything regarding the Death Eater retaliation efforts. They were definitely laying low for now, until their plans to attack again somewhere. It seems there was still far more work to be done, and now they reached a bit of a dead-end in their efforts. There were still people missing, including Dean's parents and Lee Jordan. Not to mention nothing else had been discovered in terms of the mysterious poisonous gas that the Death Eaters had been brewing at Grimmauld Place before they took it back. The upcoming threat of that was so very real, and it was a frightening thought not knowing when and where they would strike with it. Perhaps there was another base at the Forest of Dean that was still very much concealed, but Harry had no desire to trek back into there again anytime soon.

How many more lives were at stake, even still?

Harry considered rounding up the DA yet again for another discussion, but it was still far too soon after the Quarry to consider sending anyone back out into danger again. And with Severus Snape weakening by the day, he will eventually be too unwell to participate. That was inevitable.

After a few hours had passed well into the evening, Harry made his way towards the kitchen and sat down at the far end of the table, with his head in his hands, deep in thought. His anxiety was still rather problematic.

"…Would Master Potter like a drink?" The croaky voice beside him startled Harry.

Harry glanced over to his side, to find the house-elf Kreacher looking up at him. " _Harry_ will be fine, Kreacher. Um…A hot chocolate would be great, actually."

Kreacher bowed his head subtly, as he shuffled his feet along the old wooden floorboards and attended to the kettle, clicking his fingers here and there, magically conjuring all the required utensils. Minutes later, the smell of hot chocolate began to waft through the air, which already started to calm him nerves. At the same time, Harry heard the front door open, and the sound of a light patter of feet echoed through the corridor. Hermione walked into the kitchen and looked relieved when she found Harry.

"Oh good, you're still here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else, "Harry sighed, "…Everything okay?"

Hermione nodded, as she sat down beside Harry, "I've just finished adding the Occamy egg piece and the mandrake root, so that needs to boil for another four hours before I stir it again," She bit her lip, "So…how is he?"

"I stayed with him until he woke up. He was a bit grumpy, which is nothing unusual, but…I told him about the spell. He really wants to see the book before he is fully convinced."

"Oh, of course, "Hermione retrieved her wand as she dug into her purple beaded bag, and summoned the miniaturized dusty tome, expanding it again once she placed it on the table. She noticed Harry's confused expression, "Well, you _can't_ expect me to leave it laying around, do you? We can't afford to misplace it. Even I can't memorise all of this."

"Right, yeah, "Harry bit his lip, "So far, he has… _finally_ …agreed to go along with it. "

Hermione lowered her voice, "…Was he angry?"

"Frustrated, is probably a better term. I think he was too exhausted to argue. But he is _willing_ , so that's something at least."

Hermione looked relieved, "Good, I'm glad. The first phase of the incantation takes place a week from now. We still need to find somewhere adequate to do this."

"What are the rules?"

"So firstly, it has to be somewhere not overly concealed. As in, out in the open. It must be in direct line of the full moon."

Harry nodded slowly in thought, "Okay. I have a few places in mind."

Hermione took a deep breath, "Secondly, it has to be secluded, and _away_ from potential eavesdroppers. Human or creature, alike. It _does_ allow people to be present, but it _can't_ be witnessed."

"What, why?"

"Because the curse can easily seek out another living thing upon direct eye-contact when it senses that it is being extracted. It's more of a…defence mechanism. Similar to how you ended up with your scar. The eyes are essential, a conduit. Snape will be protected because only _he_ can speak the incantations."

Harry furrowed his brow, "So say, if I go with him, I'll be at risk?"

"You can be there, but you cannot witness it. You're safe, so long as you…well, don't look."

"That's a…rather unnerving thought, Hermione. I've never heard of a spell like that before."

"It is an incredibly _old_ ritual, dating back to the twelfth century upon the realisation that dark magic was becoming popular among aspiring witches and wizards in order to threaten civilians and take over lands, "Hermione explained, "This ritual itself was designed to counter some of the curses that were being created. As time continued, and curses became more complex, the ritual was undergoing frequent changes to accommodate some of the environmental changes resulting in some of the diminishing ingredients. It was ever-evolving with time, adapting with newer curses."

Kreacher delivered two cups of hot chocolate, along with a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies, to both Harry and Hermione. Harry immediately took a sip, feeling a comforting, invigorating warmth, "I suppose it lost popularity when counter-curse spells were being constructed, so then they had no need to resort to such a complex ritual."

"Exactly. Obviously, through time, a dark wizard would create a curse that is unmatched and unable to be eradicated through normal means. Hence why rituals like this are _rare_ to perform. I've found this same spell in other books, and they all tell me the same thing – The curse itself is very dependant on the person. What may work for one person, will not work for the other. "

Harry nodded, "That reminds me of what Luna said. He needs to focus his intent in a positive way. I suppose the curse itself feeds on that dark energy, further latching onto the host. Makes sense."

Hermione took a sip of her hot chocolate, " _Precisely_."

Harry sighed, nursing his steaming mug within his hands, "It doesn't help that he thinks this is all just a waste of time. You try convincing him. It's _bloody_ difficult. And you thought I was stubborn."

"You're the only one he'd _most_ likely listen to, oddly enough, "Hermione reached out to place a reassuring hand on Harry's forearm, noticing the rising worry within his face, "It'll be alright."

"What would you do, Hermione? If you were in my position."

"I wouldn't give up either if that's what you are implying."

"I'm not being unreasonable? Or…selfish?"

Hermione shook her head, squeezing her grip on his arm a little tighter, "Of _course_ not, Harry. You've _always_ been selfless. You don't want to see people suffering. You were compelled to approach Snape who was dying that night at Hogwarts…Even though you _still_ saw him as the enemy because you had not yet witnessed the memories he gave you. At that point, we _all_ believed him to be Voldemort's most loyal Death Eater. Even then, you _still_ went to his side being none-the-wiser. "

"It was the humane thing to do, wasn't it? After what we've all endured with Voldemort, at least Snape was willing to do the right thing in the end. Regardless of his horrible choices and upbringing, "Harry bit his lip, "Besides, I'd feel guilty if I don't at least _try_. I just want to put an end to this…cycle of _misery_. For us all. I just want us all to live _better_ lives."

Hermione smiled, "And we will. Once we deal with this mess – "

The pair heard a shuffle from the floor above, and minutes later, those sounds were met with careful footsteps descending the old creaky staircase, immediately causing Hermione to remove her hand from Harry. Snape walked into the kitchen and paused at the doorway, steadying himself against the frame slightly breathless, when he discovered Harry and Hermione occupying the table. The Professor stood with his usual formal ensemble, minus the traveling cloak, albeit a few buttons purposely unclasped from his neck. His haggard appearance not much improved from when Harry saw him earlier, but the extra light in the kitchen seemed to further highlight his ashen, gaunt face. Upon the man's pause, Harry noticed his hesitation. But a further look of acknowledgment from Harry told unspoken words, and eventually, Snape made his way – very slowly - to the seat across from the pair, eyeing the book in interest.

Snape arched his eyebrow, still looking at the book, "…This is it?" He slumped down in the chair.

Hermione nodded, "Y-Yes, sir." She reached over to the aged book and flipped about a third of the way until she reached the start of the incantation they were working on. Carefully, she slid it across to him, anxiously awaiting his response.

Harry sat tensed and watched as Snape pulled the book closer to him, observing the aged, yellow pages closely, running a slender finger across each text. There was an uncomfortable silence between the three of them, as both Harry and Hermione observed the man before them. It was actually rather nerve-wracking, and Harry felt like he was being subjected to a one-on-one NEWT level exam, causing further anxiety to creep up within his chest. Trying his best not to stare, Harry hastily took a sip of the hot chocolate which was slowly cooling within the mug in his hands.

Occasionally, Snape would frown at the text before him, while giving a timely nod where he saw fit. He was most certainly deep in thought, mind analysing, and Harry knew better than to interrupt. He stared tight-lipped at the old pages, as a trembling finger trailed all the way down through the text on each page. Not knowing his immediate thoughts were likely the most panic-inducing, and it was difficult to anticipate if he was going to completely explode in foul anger or shrug it off like a simple hex. And Harry most certainly knew that Hermione had the same thoughts.

" _Miss_ _Granger_ , I cannot give this book my _full_ attention if you continue to nervously tap your foot." He did not look up from the book when Snape's typically commanding deep voice caused Hermione to jump in her seat, after a lengthy silence, and immediately clasped her hands on her lap feeling rather embarrassed with herself.

They continued to sit in silence, watching as Snape finally reached the lengthy ingredients list. Harry watched as Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, wincing at a few of the things he was reading. It didn't look like a good sign for him to have that response, and he could only hope it was because of the likely reactions of said combinations that may have caused him to be concerned with. And definitely far more aware of them than even he or Hermione was.

"Occamy egg…Carefully melted _and_ weighed precisely?" Snape began to fire off ingredient's questions.

Startled, Hermione nodded, "Yes, sir."

"…Red clover added _before_ the ashwinder eggs?"

"Yes."

"Timely cuttings of the squill bulbs _moments_ after direct harvesting? Skin removed and _finely_ chopped?"

"Yes – Neville took care of it."

Snape tensed, as he winced slightly, "…Not the most ideal volunteer."

"He is particularly good with herbology. He knows what he's doing, "Harry quickly interjected.

Snape pursed his lips as he redirected his gaze back to the book, mumbling other ingredients to himself, in his own attempt to decipher the logistical nightmare. Eventually, he reached the three pages of incantations in Latin, as he carefully read each passage, and the required objects needed to complete it.

"So, it requires a vessel. Seems to be painfully reminiscent of those _bloody_ Horcruxes," Snape curled his lips in distaste.

"Well, it's…not the same, sir. This is transferring the curse you _already_ have, _into_ a non-living object - "Hermione attempted to explain but was sharply cut off.

"- I am fully _aware_ what this incantation entails, Miss Granger, "Snape sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "It is not a _pleasant_ concoction of ingredients, and I am fully aware of the desired effects of each. Under _said_ conditions…It requires no drawing of blood by any means, nor need for a sacrifice, so it has no moral barriers that I would be privy to protest." His frown softened as worry seeped into his face, "This is not a spell I'd recommend by far. But…I do have respect for its… _method_."

"So, it's…okay?" Harry waited in anticipation for the answer, "You're not…mad?"

Snape looked up to glare at Harry, "Well, I am not _overjoyed_ about it. I've heard vague recollections of this incantation in the past, but I've never read into it in _finite_ detail…" He then looked at Hermione, and both seemed to share an uncomfortable understanding, causing Snape to purse his lips and draw in a deep breath as Hermione looked away. Harry was confused.

Harry noticed this odd exchange between the two, causing him to look incredibly worried, "…What is it you're not telling me?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but was cut off again by Snape who extended his palm up to silence her, deciding to answer instead, "Rituals that _forbid_ any witnesses, are often due to the…Nature of the spell effects. Because they are also, well… _unbearable_ to witness. What does that remind you of?"

At that moment, Harry's heart seemed to stop. Yes. He knew exactly what that implied, "…A-A Dementor's Kiss?" He shook his head, "…But it's not the same thing. Right?" He looked at Hermione, who appeared incredibly upset.

" _Technically_ not, no, "Hermione's lips quivered, "I didn't quite understand that at first, but the more I kept reading into it, the more it made sense. The effects are undoubtedly… _similar_. It wasn't until we were _well_ into the commencement of the potions, did I realise…Oh, _no_ …" Hermione threw her hands over her mouth, feeling incredibly terrible and ashamed about the situation.

Snape looked dismal, as he spoke quietly, "Well, if this doesn't do the deed, then _nothing_ will. It is _potent_ , and no doubt effective. However…" He clasped his hands together, gently, "…I am willing to proceed with it. Curse removal is never intended to be a simple feat. That's the intention."

No matter how much Snape tried to diffuse the complicated situation, Harry could not help but shake the image out of his mind. He's seen what happens with a Dementor, and it was enough to make him feel absolutely disgusted with himself. To purposely subject anyone to that, was horrendous, and that thought alone made Harry feel sick to his stomach. He knew it was no simple spell. And he had a feeling Hermione knew more about it than she dared to tell him. He was a little mad at Hermione for not telling him the details, but he also understood why she decided to keep that from him. Had Harry known the true effects of the spell, he may not even have agreed to it. But Harry, in all his blind persistence into keeping someone alive, did not realise the severe costs that may arise from it.

How could Harry be so… _ignorant_? Maybe he was selfish after all, and in his meticulous care into the man's wellbeing, had no idea that this was likely to cause him more harm. It was still a great risk, even on the possibility of removing the curse completely. But to enact a spell that causes a certain level of devastation…Harry couldn't bear it.

Harry did his best to keep calm, but that was a ridiculous attempt when Snape could read him like the book before him. Harry's voice trembled, "If this works…The curse will be gone from you. _Completely_?"

Snape tilted his head gently in Harry's direction, eyeing him carefully, "…Yes. _If_. "

"The three potions he'll need to take will give him some protection from the negative effects, "Hermione finally managed to compose herself enough to respond, "…That's what they were _designed_ to do. Right, sir?"

Snape nodded, "Indeed. Otherwise, I doubt any host would survive the first night, without them."

Harry swallowed the rising bile within his throat, still feeling rather wretched from the idea of it, "Fine. I suppose…" Rising slowly from his chair, feeling his chest tighten from the panic exploding within him, "I-I need to go…" Lowering his head to avoid the concerned gazes of Hermione, and even Snape, Harry abandoned the rest of the conversation and made his way to his room, knowing very well if he stayed with them any longer, he would explode in either rage or tears. It was unpredictable which way they would turn, and Harry felt torn.

He slammed the bedroom door behind him and kicked the bedside table before he sat on the edge of the bed, feeling so mad with himself. His hands shook in anger. Why did everything have to be so difficult? What will it take, to not have the risk of losing people again? No matter how hard Harry tried, he always seemed to inadvertently risk death to someone he knows. Nothing was ever easy, and Harry had far too much he wished for. But something always had to go horribly wrong, and this was just another cruel example. It just wasn't fair. It was just a little too much.

It didn't take long for Harry to hear footsteps ascending the stairs when several sharp knocks caused him to jump a little within his skin. Initially, he ignored them, thinking that whoever it was, would just go away. But they were a little persistent.

" _Answer_ me, Potter."

Harry groaned, not keen on the confrontation.

The door eventually clicked open, and Snape walked in with a concerned frown, "It will be wise of you to answer when I call. Silence can be, at times… _concerning_."

Harry looked up at the man and clenched his jaw, "…I just needed some time alone."

With a deep breath, Snape walked over to the bed and sat down beside Harry. They sat together in silence for a few moments, before Snape turned to the Gryffindor, "Listen to me very _carefully_. Do _not_ unleash your anger on Miss Granger. However, this is _exactly_ why you should not meddle in magic you do not understand. Things are not always as black and white as they are on a page. There are reasons why incantations such as this one are rare and complicated because they can create _unseen_ catastrophes – "

"-But – "

"– _Let_ me finish, Potter, "Snape was calm, and collected, reading the concern upon Harry's face, " _Nonetheless_ , I will proceed with this ritual, "He sighed, "…When I made my pledge to Albus to protect you upon the night your parents died, that pledge alone… _Saved_ my life. It is only fitting that I continue to extend it for as long as I live."

"I'm sorry – "

"- I _don't_ want your apology, Potter. We both continue to _blame_ ourselves for things that have happened to us _beyond_ our control. Yet we still feel immense guilt. You and I know this _very_ well, do we not? "Snape fixated his gaze on his own trembling hands neatly upon his lap, whilst releasing a shuddered breath in defeat, "I've always welcomed death as an act of clemency, however, being threatened by it daily with this _wretched_ curse…I refuse this to my fate."

A breath caught in Harry's throat, "Once we get rid of it, and we clear your name, then you'll be…free. And you don't have to see _my_ face anymore."

" _One_ step at a time, Potter, "Snape raised his eyebrow, and turned his head to face the Gryffindor, "Furthermore, I _forbid_ you to be there upon the first night."

Harry frowned, "Why not? What if _something_ goes wrong? I can't just…leave you there."

"Whatever happens, I don't want _you_ to endure it. You've _suffered_ enough – "

The pair were suddenly startled by a consistent pecking at the window. Harry and Snape turned to find a brown and white owl perched outside at the windowsill, with a letter clutched within its beak. Harry stood up and opened the window, retrieving the letter as the owl flew off immediately into the night sky. Turning the letter within his hands, he flipped it over.

"It's addressed to the both of us, "Harry noticed the Hogwarts seal, as he tore the envelope and pulled out the letter from inside, making his way back to the bed to sit beside the Professor once again. He scanned the neat, handwritten inked letter, feeling immediate dread as he passed it to Snape to read. "It's from Professor McGonagall. The Memorial is happening in three days' time, on the one-month anniversary."

Snape's onyx eyes darted over the letter, with his expression filled with just as much dread as Harry did. Harry merely leaned forward burying his head in his hands. At that moment, it was clear to the pair that neither of them wanted to be there. More wounds that they didn't want to reopen.

It was true that both of them still felt immense guilt for all that happened. But more so, for all the lives lost that day.

To be once again reminded of that was a little too painful to bear.


	33. Of Hearts and Minds

* * *

**NOTE** : Here's an early chapter treat for you guys ^_^ Hope you guys enjoy this one. Our favorite Potion Master's psyche continues to unravel.

* * *

CHAPTER 33: Of Hearts and Minds

The upcoming Hogwarts memorial was creeping up ever so quickly, which left a very somber atmosphere among the residents at Grimmauld Place. Each individual was doing their best to keep busy to avoid thinking about it too much, but not many words were spoken between them. It was safe to say that admittedly, they all dreaded that day.

The following day, Snape had been busy in their potion's lab replenishing stocks, with Harry occasionally lending him assistance whenever he could. They both did their best to avoid talking about the memorial, or anything else regarding the ritual that Snape was subjected to. The first phase was drawing near, and Harry was extremely anxious about what may happen. It was difficult to remain relaxed when so many heavy things weighed upon his mind at that moment. Effectively, working with Snape seemed to distract his mind, especially when he decided to overload him with alchemy questions to pick the Gryffindor's brain. Due to Harry's frantic train of thoughts, it was difficult to concentrate at times. At one point he dropped a liquid ingredient on the floor, earning an immediate scolding from Snape, who seemed to quickly bite back his words, diffusing the harshness within his voice. Besides the occasional clumsiness, Snape was able to teach him a few techniques, which came as a welcome relief for Harry.

They didn't engage much in conversation this time. It was obvious to both that they were lost in their own thoughts. Except with Harry, who seemed far too consumed by them recently. Harry was impressed by Snape's ability to remain collected, in contrast to the visibly stressed-out and distracted Gryffindor within his company.

Once they were satisfied with their fresh stocks of prepared potions, both Harry and Snape traveled to Hogwarts to check up on the other potions that were still bubbling away. Despite Snape's criticism of the set-up, he had no quarrels regarding the preparation process. Hermione and Ron were already there, being close to finishing the first protective potion, as Snape continued to study the remainder of the old tome within his hands, absorbing every detail. Occasionally, Harry would look in the man's direction and there was no mistaken the subtle worry on his face. That was enough to cause Harry's heart to sink further into his chest.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at Hogwarts, crossing off further steps to both potions. Once they were able to successfully complete the first protective potion, the next two brews of the same thing – they were required to be repeated to maximise potency – would be easier. Harry stood by the table and watched with interest, as Hermione and Snape tended to both with ease, and yet he could sense the nervousness within Hermione as she worked alongside the strict Potions Professor. He did feel relieved that Snape was fully aware of it now and didn't have to keep this from him. Not to mention, they really needed his expertise in making sure they didn't mess these potions up. They wanted to cure him, not further poison him. Several times that afternoon, Snape was struck with a few dizzy spells, causing him to remain seated and unable to continue during several incidences. Harry continued the potions from him, while Ron had the amusing task of making sure Snape didn't tumble out of his seat. If he wasn't actively involved in the potion-making process, then he was forced onto watcher duties for a man he still heavily disliked.

Once they could proceed no further, Hermione charmed the cauldrons to self-stir once again, as the four of them made their way back to Grimmauld Place. But as they made their way past the Great Hall to exit the building, they were approached by Professor McGonagall, who was gliding up the steps towards them from the opposite direction.

"Ah! I thought I caught a glimpse of you lot, earlier. Follow me, if you please – "The Headmistress beckoned for the four to follow her into the Great Hall, where they gingerly entered after her.

Ron and Hermione followed McGonagall into the Great Hall first, leaving both Harry and Snape trailing behind. Harry's heart seemed to freeze within his chest upon stepping over the threshold, feeling a wave of fresh memories flooding his mind as he tensed and stopped in his tracks. His breath fell out of sync, and he presumed that no one else could see. It wasn't until he felt a light nudge to his left shoulder, did he realise that Snape sensed his hesitation. Of course, he did. Harry drew in a deep breath as he looked at Snape beside him with a struggled nod, as they walked together to join the others. McGonagall sat on the edge of the Gryffindor student's bench, close to the entrance door, with Ron and Hermione joining her at her side. Harry and Snape took a seat opposite them.

It was strange being back within the Great Hall. A place once filled with pure, happy memories, now filled them all with despair as the final moments of Voldemort's last stand was still so evident within their minds. Death still filled this room, even despite those horrible events taking place almost a month prior. He obviously felt uncomfortable being here – Perhaps it was a bad idea to return to resume his seventh year of education after all. He couldn't shake the memories that still haunted him. And not just for himself, but for so many others as well.

McGonagall clasped her hands on the table in front of her, and looked sternly at each person within her company, undoubtedly sensing their sorrow, "…I gather you received the letters?" Her question was met with nods, "I understand that this is not what you all want to be dealing with at this present time, but the Minister and I agreed that it mustn't be delayed any longer. There will be extreme safety measures in place to ensure it goes undisturbed."

"As of the Aurors, Minerva?" Snape questioned.

She nodded, "There will be several stationed, yes. The Minister has personally screened them himself. Besides, the rogue Death Eaters would be _daft_ to attack a memorial service filled with hundreds of wizards and witches. Now, Severus, as with you – "

"- I wasn't planning on attending."

Harry turned sharply to frown at Snape, "To hell, you're not."

Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry, clearly unamused by his choice of words, "Because I felt it would be _inappropriate_ for me to be there. However, I cannot be seen. You are aware of that, Potter."

"You _can_ be there, sir. Just…Use the Invisibility Cloak."

McGonagall shot a warned look at Snape, "He's right, Severus. You should attend. No one else has to know." The Headmistress drew in a deep breath, "Filius, Sybill, and Pomona are setting up as we speak, alongside a memorial committee formulated within the Ministry. It will be a service by the Great Lake, and we have a monument in their memory in view of where Albus is laid to rest..." She noticed the saddened expressions of the younger Gryffindors, along with Snape's grim one, "This is extremely difficult for everyone. We must finally honor those we lost on that day and lay rest their poor souls."

"I can't believe it's been nearly a month already…" Hermione lowered her head, still in disbelief. Ron extended his arm around her, pulling her closer to him in comfort.

Ron looked at McGonagall with a worried expression, "We don't have to do…well, speeches or anything, do we?"

The Headmistress shook her head slowly, "Not at all, Mr. Weasley. Only if you feel comfortable to," She glanced at Harry, "…You're not obliged to either, Mr. Potter. I wish to make that clear."

Harry swallowed distaste rising nauseatingly within his throat, "I don't think I could cope with that, to be honest, Professor."

"Understandable, of course. You've been through enough. _All_ of you," McGonagall looked at Snape, "Severus, may I have a word with you, privately, please? Excuse me, you three."

"Thank you, Professor, "Hermione responded quietly, as she rose from her seat, with Ron and Harry following closely behind.

The three of them slowly wandered to the main courtyard in silence, with thoughts of the memorial weighing heavily on their minds. Ron still had his arm around Hermione and stopped to embrace each other once they reached the courtyard. Harry watched as both of his best friends held each other for a short while, knowing that he was recently able to share a moment like that with Ginny. After everything that had happened, and _was_ still happening, it was difficult to find moments where they were able to forget things for a little while. Occasionally Harry felt guilty for allowing himself to succumb to those feelings of love and connection with Ginny, because to him, it never felt like the right time. Especially when the threat of danger and further loss was still there. His priorities appeared seemingly skewed.

Eventually, Snape re-joined them once again, as the four of them Disapparated back to Grimmauld Place, immediately dispersing in their own respective rooms. Snape was already reserved enough and refused to be unnecessarily sociable, so he retreated immediately to the basement as he usually did to keep his own mind occupied on replenishing further potions stores. Ron and Hermione sat together on the couch in the sitting room in silence, embracing each other in front of the crackling fireplace, while Harry stayed in his room in his own company for a short while, allowing his best friends some time alone.

It was clear at this point, that everyone currently present at Headquarters, were busy thinking about the Memorial in two days' time. The dread of facing everyone still in deep mourning and uncontrollable grief was inevitable. Everyone was still dealing with their own personal losses, and now to attend a large gathering in remembrance for those fifty-odd students, adults, and creatures who lost their lives tragically that day. Harry was still guilt-ridden to attend, but he knew of all people, he had to be there. He couldn't avoid it as much as he wanted to. Now he wished he could have been the one to go unnoticed under the Invisibility Cloak.

Everyone was expecting him to be there.

That night, Harry was overcome by another nightmare. Something he hadn't had for a while, but with the impending memorial, nothing but terrible thoughts ran through his mind which he couldn't escape from. But this nightmare was a little different than his previous ones. Yet again, he wasn't just witnessing their deaths all over again. Instead, they were taunting him mercilessly.

_"Why didn't you save me?"_

_"You didn't do enough!"_

_"Pathetic!"_

_"It's all your fault!"_

_"You hid when everyone died for you!"_

_"Disgrace!"_

_"The Boy Who Lived, while the rest of us were left to die."_

Harry was overcome with anguish, as he shot up within his bed, faces of the dead still fresh within his mind. Scrunching up a mass of blankets, he buried his face within them, until his body shook with the sobs he could no longer hold back. His chest felt heavy as it tightened the grip on his heart, so filled with fresh sorrow. Panic rose within him once again, as he struggled to compose himself. But he continued to let go of the tears, gripping the blankets so tightly that his knuckles went white. His muffled cries released the rising tension he held within his body accumulating from the last few days, allowing himself to feel those emotions so deeply. He tried his best to contain them, but they could not be stopped this time. The floodgates finally burst, and he could not hold them back any longer.

Heavy footsteps bounded up the staircase, every creak easily distinguished, as Snape entered the room in a slight panic. It must have been still deep within the night because he was now wearing his black night robe which hung loosely around his tall, slender form.

" _Potter_ – "

Harry continued to weep; oblivious to the sounds around him. His chest tightened, and he found it incredibly difficult to draw in a breath, even though burying his head within his blankets was not helping matters. His struggled gasp most evident from the crushing panic. But he knew once he looked up, he could not stop his cries from rising to an uncontrollable crescendo. Especially knowing that Severus Snape was in the room, and the last person he wanted to have witness his waterworks, was this man. He didn't even have to look at him to see that even he did not know how to console the terror-stricken teenager. This was new territory for both of them.

He heard a shuffle beside him, and a pop of a tiny cork – most likely from the vial of _Animo Silentium_ – sitting idly, with about a quarter of the vial remaining.

" _Focus_ , Potter. Deep breath in; Long exhale – "Harry felt the bed dip slightly, and he knew the man was perched beside him once more.

But Harry continued to shake his head, struggling to even adhere to what was meant to be a simple task. His choked sobs preventing him from focusing on anything, as his mind was far too clouded and obscured. All he could see was the faces of his friends, family, allies…Deaths still fresh within his mind.

"Potter, I want you to sit on the edge of the bed, _immediately_. Feet firmly on the ground – "Harry shook his head again, "Do as I say, I will not ask you again. _Sit_ on the edge of the bed and keep a straight posture. It will increase the capacity of your lungs and aid in your breathing…"

Releasing another choked sob, Harry finally threw the blankets aside and swung his legs over the edge with great effort, as if they were made of stone. He finally opened his eyes. The room was dark; faint moonlight cast a pale glow through the old, stained windows. Although, his vision was blurry as his glasses were not on his face, which seemed to work in his favor in slight victory, as the last thing he wanted to do at that moment, was glance up at Snape with a tear-filled face.

"- _Concentrate_ on your breathing – "

"Harry's body shuddered at the struggled breaths, feeling his heart beat painfully within his ribcage, "I _can't_ …I can't do this…anymore -"

"- Be silent. Focus."

Harry buried his head within his sweaty palms, feeling his face flush with humiliation and disappointment within himself, "I _can't_ …get them out…of my _mind_ – "

Snape extended his hand with the elixir to Harry, but in the Gryffindor's distraught state, suddenly flung his arm outwards, knocking the vial out of the man's hand. It spun in the air, and hit the wall, shattering into multiple pieces as its pearly liquid splattered across the surface, dripping slowly to the ground. Snape clenched his jaw and recoiled from the sudden action. Harry let out another choked sob in utter defeat.

"Potter, for me to assist, I require your _compliance_ – "

Harry shook his head again, feeling a blinding headache piercing his temple, causing his focus to be unmanageable.

Snape sighed heavily, "Try and _visualise_ your sanctuary, as I taught you that morning, remember? Let the image flood your mind – "

"NO! It _won't_ bloody work!" Harry suddenly cried out in frustration.

" _Keep_ trying, Potter! I cannot help you if you _refuse_ to put the effort in – "Snape watched as Harry bit his lip, and upon the teenager's distress, drew blood immediately. The man watched helplessly, as he realised this called for a stronger intervention, "…There is another way, but you will not like it."

"Anything… _Please_ …Take it away…" Harry finally looked up at Snape with pleading, tear-filled green eyes; wavering voice struggled between breaths, "…I _can't_ keep going…like this…I just want it all to end..."

Snape rose slowly from the edge of the bed and knelt down on the floor directly in front of Harry, finally being able to closely observe the traumatic Gryffindor in front of him. Snape softened his gaze, as he did his best to mask the frustrations upon being unable to provide him with the comfort that he needed.

"As I said you will not like this. For me to help you, I _must_ establish a connection within your mind with…Legilimency, "Snape immediately saw Harry tense up upon the term and shake his head in immediate fear. " _NO_ , not like that. This will be…less disruptive. But this time, I must ask for your _consent_ , Potter, if I am to _proceed_. I will not subject you to that again, _unwillingly_."

Harry was noticeably conflicted, as he knew how horrible those Occlumency lessons were, and the emotional toll that took on his mind. But if there was truly a way for him to ease his suffering at that moment, he was willing to do anything at this point. He just wanted all that pain to stop, and he was getting desperate. Eventually, Harry nodded breathlessly, "Just…Just _do_ it."

Relieved, Snape nodded slowly withdrawing his ebony-colored wand, " _Good_. Now, I recall you mentioned previously that you enjoyed flying. I can work with that – "The man drew in a deep breath, still observing the struggling teenager in front of him, "Now, Potter… _Look_ at me."

It took a few moments to regain Harry's attention, but eventually, the Gryffindor locked eyes with the man kneeling in front of him, wand slowly pointed towards him. He knew he should relax, but from his past experiences with Occlumency, he could not help but tense up defensively in dreaded anticipation. He only hoped that this time will be a different experience.

Instead of Snape's usual commanding tone of voice, he spoke the next word with a delicate softness that seemed to ease Harry's nerves almost instantly.

"- _Legilimens_."

_The room spun around him until all he could see was darkness, and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of Harry's anxiously beating heart thumping within his chest. A few moments passed, and his vision was met with flashes of light in the distance before an image sped into view. The image itself was distorted, but eventually enveloped his entire range of view, catching him by surprise. Suddenly, he found himself on his broomstick. However, it wasn't him exactly, because he was now just a mere bystander, watching a replica of himself. His vision-self was noticeably younger, adorned in his scarlet and golden Quidditch robes, with leather pads fastened to his shins and forearms. His broomstick was hovering above the Quidditch pitch, as loud thunderous cheers emanated from the stands below. He was too high up to see exactly who was down there, but he knew his friends were there somewhere, cheering him on._

_There was a match in progress as flurries of red and green filled the pitch – This was clearly a Gryffindor vs Slytherin match. Harry's vision-self hovered in the air, waiting patiently for the elusive tiny golden Snitch, to claim victory on this match. The clear-skied conditions, and the familiarity of the match itself, along with his Firebolt, indicating to him that this was the final match of the Quidditch season in his third year. This was also Oliver Wood's final year as the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, and final year at Hogwarts, as he could see him defending the goal posts as Keeper. He watched below as the match continued just as he remembered, as his vision-self began to glide slowly through the air in search of the Snitch._

_It was like witnessing the match all over again, and one of the few games which didn't involve some kind of disaster. It was as normal as he remembered, and it made him smile. He watched as his vision-self raced Draco Malfoy, the then-Slytherin Seeker, towards the Snitch. It was a close call, but within seconds, Harry clasped the Snitch within his hand, earning his team one-hundred and fifty points, and a Quidditch Cup season victory. He watched his thirteen-year-old self fly over the stands, listening to the cheers from the crowd below, as he flew down to celebrate with the rest of his team._

As much as Harry wished for that to continue, the vision began to distort and gradually begin to fade away.

Harry gently opened his eyes, immediately feeling a sense of calm and recollection within his mind, as he still held his gaze between the Professor still kneeling before him. He watched as the man furrowed his brow in anticipation, picking himself up off the floor, as he pocketed his wand once more. Harry was doing his best to piece together what just happened. It wasn't the Occlumency he was used to. It was not a fake memory because he was there. Harry remembered that match, albeit not vividly, but it was there. It was his own.

Snape clasped his hands behind his back, watching the teenager carefully as they both remained in silence for a few moments. Harry's panic had since calmed, with his breathing had now – _finally_ – resumed regularity.

The Potions Master reassured the Gryffindor, with a furrowed brow, "Should you _wish_ to join me, I'll be in the sitting room. Sleep…eludes us both, it seems, "With a turn of his heel, Snape exited the room, leaving Harry sitting in silence trying to recollect what he had just experienced.

Still in an odd mind-space, Harry sat up from the bed, placed his glasses on his face, and made a dash to the washroom to apply cool water to his face. His shirt was mildly damp from sweat, which made him feel rather disgusting. Instead, he decided to jump into the shower, until he felt refreshed enough to leave. Applying clean clothes, he stumbled back to his room to retrieve his wand, taking notice of the clockface reading close to four in the morning. Grumbling to himself, he figured there was no point in attempting sleep again that night, so he shuffled downstairs to face the Potions Master once again. His mind was plagued with questions.

He walked into the sitting room on the first floor, and found Severus Snape by the crackling fireplace, with a large mug of what seemed like tea within his hands staring aimlessly into the flames. He must have heard the Gryffindors feet enter from the stairs because Snape looked up upon his arrival and watched him enter the room. The man looked surprised that the Gryffindor even considered his invitation, least of all, adhere to it. Setting his own mug down, he proceeded to pour Harry a mug of tea from the steaming ornate teapot in the center of the table and handed it to the teenager as he sat down.

"Peppermint, with a hint of ginger, "Snape retrieved his own mug and sat back against the single sofa chair he was occupying, "Works as an effective stress-reliever, along with anti-nausea properties, strengthening mental clarity and focus. emWithout/em a doubt, you need it."

"…Where's Ron and Hermione?"

"They departed late last night."

Harry nodded as he curled up on the opposite chair, drawing his own nightgown closely around himself, "…Thank you. For…what you did."

"Desperate times, called for desperate measures, Potter. "

"What exactly was that? If you don't mind me asking. It didn't...feel the same, "Harry inhaled the crisp scent of peppermint from his tea, feeling the warmth of the mug within his hands.

"It was still Occlumency. I _merely_ found a memory of your own and brought it forth, within that _disastrous_ clouded mind of yours, that I gather you'd still find some contentment in re-visiting, "Snape took a small sip of his tea, "It was rather difficult to procure a Quidditch match that didn't end in a catastrophe. And I mean that physically speaking."

"Actually, I'm surprised you gave me a match where I won against Slytherin."

Snape looked bitterly at Harry, "As much as I personally detest that, I couldn't show you a _losing_ match, now could I?"

"No, I suppose not, "Harry tenderly touched his lip, where he bit it earlier, feeling the surface of his lip swell up slightly, "But sir, thank you…for asking."

Snape pursed his lips, "Well it would be wise to avoid a _repeat_ of those sessions. And before you ask, you are in no state to resume said lessons. It will not do you any good at this point in time. That time of dire need has since diminished."

Harry drew in a deep breath, "Oh, I know. I wasn't even going to ask. I wasn't exactly an… _easy_ student for you."

Snape snorted lightly, "In most instances. Though as of recently…You haven't been too _terrible_."

"Well, that's a relief. But also because we are both no longer at Hogwarts. Different environment, with, well…different circumstances. Kind of strange, isn't it?"

"Strange... _indeed_ ," The Professor looked grimly at Harry, after a short pause, "When I peered into your mind, Potter, I saw that nightmare of yours. I did my best to repel it to the back of your mind, but I _cannot_ erase it. Nevertheless, and I know this is difficult, but it is far from the truth. You mustn't blame yourself. War can skew one's mind as easily as ripples in a lake."

Harry took a sip of the burning tea, feeling a slight sting from his lip, "I know, but it's hard not to. Your brain tells you one thing, but your heart, another."

Snape nodded slowly in agreement, "Quite right. There is a time for the head and a time for the heart. Both will lead you on different paths."

"I still don't know how you did it."

Snape frowned, "Do what?"

"… _Fool_ everyone, sir. After all that time."

"Sometimes I wonder how I did it, too," Snape took a careful sip of his tea, and drew in a deep breath, "I suppose you can allow that as an example of head winning over the heart. If I _succumbed_ too much to the latter, I wouldn't have any measure of success with facing… _him_." Snape spat that last word with extreme distaste.

"Maybe. But you still used both."

Snape raised his eyebrows, "Still doesn't make me a good person, Potter. I had to go against the moral grain, even personally. I jeopardised my trust with my true allies, in order to sneak into the higher ranks of the Dark Lord. I did things that I'm not particularly… _proud_ of."

"If you never signed up to be a Death Eater, what would you have done instead?"

Clearly startled by the question, Snape frowned, "You ask far too many questions, Potter," Eventually, he relaxed his expression and drew in a shuddered breath as his gaze averted, pondering the thought, "…No one has ever asked me what…I _want_. Seems like a rather foreign concept to me. Even now."

Harry's heart sank a little within his chest. From the memories he recalled from the man, he knew he grew up in a terrible household. Abused by his Muggle father, leaving his witch mother too traumatised to protect him. The small snippet of the man's memory of his younger self cowering in the corner was enough for Harry to understand. His own time with the Dursley's was another painful reminder of that. It was easy for adults to crush the dreams of children, without a doubt. But not only that, the man spent most of his life serving others. He never had a sliver of a chance to pursue his own wishes.

"There had to be _something_."

Snape pondered, "Perhaps something meaningful, I'm sure. I most certainly never wanted to _teach_." He allowed his gaze to wander who Harry, who seemed rather extra attentive to the conversation, "It was never an aspiration, but writing has always been a creative outlet of mine. The possibility of publishing a few books always seemed to capture my interest. However, I try not to dwell on what could have been."

"You still _can_ , sir," Harry shrugged.

Snape snorted lightly, "We'll see. If luck is on my side – _perhaps_ \- once this curse is…vanquished from me," There was a slight pause between the both of them as Harry took a sip from his mug of tea. Snape was conflicted with several things running through his mind, and neither of them were at each other's throats within that point in time because at that moment, both appeared to be somewhat relaxed within each other's company. Snape's expression suddenly turned more serious, "Potter. Does…my being _here_ , bother you?"

Harry frowned, as confusion seeped through his face, "Uh, I…I don't quite understand what you mean, sir."

"Allow me to rephrase – Are you… _uncomfortable_ with me, here? After…everything."

Harry shook his head immediately, startled by the question, " _No_. No, I'm not. I mean, I guess I'm still wrapping my head around it. It still falls under strange territory, for both of us, I think. Actually, I could ask you the same thing, being stuck with me under the same roof. I kind of never expected you to, well, _want_ to stick around."

"I supposed I never intended to, initially. However, things…change. _Inevitably_."

"Forgive my choice of words, but…I didn't think you actually, well… _cared_ about it."

Snape shot Harry a stern look of warning, "I am not as _heartless_ as one may presume."

Harry shook his head, "No, that's…not what I meant. I just thought…Just…Never mind." Words seem to elude the Gryffindor and thus decided not to pursue that train of thought for fear of letting slip the wrong thing from his mind. He was never great at expressing himself openly. Actually, he rather hated it. It made him feel too vulnerable for comfort. Upon Harry's broken sentence, Snape looked at the Gryffindor in his bid to read his face. Being under scrutiny from the Legilimens mastermind did make Harry feel uncomfortable at times. Especially most often than not, the man sitting before him could read the teenager as easily as he came to terms with, himself. With or without the skill.

"For now – We must adapt to these… _changes_. When you remove the darkest threat of our lives from the equation, you end up with something…remarkably unforeseen," Snape subtly tilted his head, oddly satisfied with the conversation.

Finally, Snape downed the rest of his tea, and rose up from his seat, steadying himself against the armrest as he swayed slightly on the spot. Harry watched as he shut his eyes, trying to compose himself, and heard the man curse under his breath.

"Do you need…?"

"- _No_. Finish your tea, and get to bed, Potter, "As Snape's apparent dizzy spell subsided once more, Harry watched as the man carefully made his way out of the room, most likely to attempt some rest himself.

Harry waited until he heard the door upstairs slam shut, and no further alarming sounds, until he finished his own tea and made his way back to his own bedroom. The tea itself was just what he needed, and it definitely did its job of easing some of his anxiety resulting from his previous nightmare. He stumbled back up the several flights of stairs and entered his room once again. Falling onto the bed, he slid under his tangled covers, until eventually, he drifted off to sleep.

The Gryffindor awoke to multiple voices downstairs, oddly loud and disruptive.

Although Grimmauld Place had a multitude of floors, it still felt rather small, and it was easy to hear what the rest of the house was up to. If it wasn't Kreacher creaking all over the floorboards in his cleaning resume or making too much noise in the kitchen, it was discovered that Snape actually did snore rather loudly, when he finally did sleep. Or the occasional coughing fits from the man every few hours. Or when the others were present, Ron was usually cursing under his breath as he stumbled to the bathroom in the middle of the night to relieve himself. Hermione seemed to be the only silent housemate thus far.

But the house itself was met with other voices. Harry sat up within his bed, as his head felt strangely heavy from his rather eventful night, although he was surprised that he managed to get more sleep. Placing his glasses back on his face, he noticed the clock had just ticked past eleven in the morning. He sat up and hastily threw on whatever appropriate and moderately clean clothes he could find, frowning at the smashed potion against the wall that he shamefully caused overnight, and made his way downstairs to see what going on. As he descended each flight of stairs, the voices grew louder.

"I don't want you ANYWHERE near my daughter again, do you hear me?!"

"Who did you expect to rise to the occasion? _Yourself_? Yes, you most certainly have your hands full. What's on the Ministry's agenda today, attack of the possessed garden hose?"

"I BEG – "

"Arthur...Severus! That's _enough_!"

" _Stop_ defending him, Molly! Have you forgotten what he's done?!"

"Why yes, do enlighten me, Arthur Weasley."

"You have _no_ right!"

"Dad, cut it out!"

Arthur and Snape were having a heated conversation, with Molly's shrieking voice chiming in on occasion. Not exactly what Harry wanted to be dealing with at this point. Before Harry reached the ground floor, he saw Ginny exit the kitchen and ushered him back away into the corridor.

Harry dropped his voice to a whisper, "What the hell is going on?"

"We got here a short while ago, but they've been going at it for the last ten minutes," Ginny responded, also trying her best to lower her voice.

"…What's the reason now?"

"Dad seems to think it was Snape's fault that I was taken in the first place, but he seemed to have forgotten that I wouldn't be here without his help. "

Harry threw up his hands in defeat, "I'm so sick of this! "

"I know, Dad is being ridiculous. Mum's been trying to get him to leave, but he's being unreasonable -"

Suddenly, the pair heard several shattering's of glass and a loud _THUMP_. Harry and Ginny alarmingly looked at each other, until they both ran into the kitchen with Molly yelling loudly at Arthur. Once they walked in, they saw Snape and Arthur locked in a brawl. Snape had a small gash just under his eye and evidently bruised, and Harry presumed that Arthur threw in the first punch. There were glass shards all over the floor and covering the kitchen table. A broken chair sat in pieces on the floor.

"WHAT – "Harry immediately threw himself between the unruly pair without thinking, trying his best to pry them apart. Molly tried to pull Arthur back, as Harry wedged himself between. But in those split seconds, Snape's arm accidentally swung forward, hitting Harry across the face, causing the Gryffindor to rebound, and painfully hit the edge of the table. Harry's vision became blurry for a few seconds, as he realised half of his glasses broke on impact. A sharp pain radiated from his jaw, and he could taste blood within his mouth.

Snape's eyes widened, "- _Potter_!"

Withdrawing his wand in frustration, Harry cast a non-verbal charm to physically separate the pair, sending Arthur and Snape into the nearest seats. "That's-That's _enough_! Just, stop it! _Both_ of you!"

The room fell silent for a few moments, as each individual tried to process what had just happened. Molly slowly sunk slowly into the nearest chair, burying her head in her hands, as Ginny cautiously sat beside her. Arthur and Snape were still seething at each other, both trying to catch their breath. Blood trickled thinly down the side of Snape's face, as Arthur clutched an injured hand.

Harry clenched his fist, "If you two are _done_ , I don't want to see you in the same room together again. Am I clear? If you can't sort it out -"

Arthur pointed threateningly at Snape, "- He is NOT welcome at the memorial, tomorrow. Harry, I've known this man for years!"

"Well, clearly you don't," Harry snapped.

Snape bared his teeth in anger, "Yes, well I didn't think fists of fury was a Weasley trait, right Arthur?"

"STOP! Both of you! That's enough!" Harry's voice was loud and clear, earning a scowl from Snape and Arthur respectively.

"You both should be ashamed of yourselves. We have _enough_ problems as it is!" Molly interrupted, as she turned to Arthur, "We've had this conversation before, Arthur. He risked his life for _our_ daughter. _He_ didn't take her, _they_ did."

"I don't trust him, and I never will!" Arthur clenched his fist, "The memorial is the last place he should show his face. I don't care what the Minister thinks, this man deserves to be thrown into Azkaban with the other _disgraces_ of society – "

"Dad, _stop_!' Ginny yelled out, "Honestly! You're being ridiculous!"

Arthur turned to face his daughter, "So you're taking _his_ word over mine?!"

"I'm not taking _anyone's_ word over another. Professor Snape _saved_ my life. Stop placing the blame where it shouldn't be, Dad."

"Listen to your daughter, Arthur, "Molly drew in a deep breath, "Fighting about this will _not_ get you anywhere," She glanced at Snape, "And this also applies to you, Severus. I don't want to see any more _petty_ fighting. We all have enough on our minds, don't we?"

Harry nodded, as he gingerly touched his sensitive jaw, "Just everyone…Calm down, or… _leave_."

"Harry! Do you not understand what this man – "Arthur started again, earning another scolding from Molly.

"- _Yes_ , Arthur, I fully understand what this man did for the Order. For all of us, "Harry responded.

"Even if he murdered Albus in _cold-blood_?"

"It wasn't _cold_ -blood, Arthur. He was already dying – "

"- I don't _believe_ that one bit. I'm _sorry_ Harry, but I don't. I – "Arthur stopped himself, face red with rage.

"… _And_?"

"Yes, _do_ go on. I find your tale absolutely _enthralling_ , "Snape spoke icily, looking sourly at the Weasley patriarch.

Arthur drew in a sharp breath with his nose, reminding Harry like a bull at the gate, " _Harry_ – He was, and _still_ is, a Death Eater. That is evident by the Mark still _branded_ onto his skin. It remains a _permanent_ fixture of the path he chose to take. He did _terrible_ things, and Albus expected us to sweep that under the rug?!"

Harry shook his head, "You have that all _wrong_ , Arthur. He _chose_ to work against Voldemort, and the only one who truly _knew_ that was Dumbledore..." He took a quick glance at Snape and noticed his left hand – where the Mark was emblazoned – clench into a fist. Snape himself, was obviously trying to remain composed, but his dark eyes flashed with obvious hurt. Harry glanced back at Arthur, " _Look_ , you know why. And I don't want to discuss that any further. Any other problems, confront Dumbledore's portrait." At that moment, Harry felt guilty for telling everyone in the Great Hall about Snape's motives that day he defeated Voldemort, and he knew Snape had wished above all else, that it was still his shameful secret. But neither of them expected Snape to survive that, and yet, it was a revelation that he himself had to face now that everyone knew the truth. But for some like Arthur, even the truth was not enough to convince them.

"Arthur, dear. Severus has _every_ right to be at the Memorial tomorrow. Don't make this difficult. He saved our daughter. _Please_ , leave it at that, "Molly interrupted with a composed voice, towards her husband.

A short pause later, Arthur Weasley rose from his chair, still cradling his injured hand. He looked at Snape in deep distaste. Turning repulsively from the Professor, he faced his wife, "Molly, are you coming?"

"I'll meet you at home soon, alright, sweetheart?" Molly responded, softly. "...I can't leave this place in a mess."

Without another word, Arthur strode out of the kitchen and left Grimmauld Place. The front door slammed heavily behind him, earning startled shrieks from Mrs. Black's portrait. The remaining residents sat in silence for a few moments, until Snape turned to Harry, observing the fresh bruising forming around his jaw, where a tiny cut was now evident. He fished within his robes and pulled out a small jar and handed it to Harry cautiously.

Snape's face fell, "Bruise salve. I – "

"– It's _fine_ , sir. You didn't mean it," Harry retrieved the jar, grimly.

"It's _not_ fine, Potter. None of this is _fine_!"

"Severus, please, "Molly looked at Snape, clearly saddened, "I'm sorry for my husband's outbursts -"

"- I care not, for what he thinks. He _refuses_ to see the truth, and I _cannot_ reason with someone so close-minded! "Snape responded, frustratingly. He slowly rose up, still feeling guilty for his accidental strike upon the Gryffindor. Actually, if Harry noticed correctly, the man looked repulsed with himself. He watched as he clutched over the Mark instinctively on his left arm, took one last visual sweep of the room, and turned on his heel as he left. The creaking of the staircase indicated that he departed back upstairs.

Molly reached out to grab Harry's arm, tenderly, "I'm so sorry, my dear. I've tried talking to Arthur, and well…The war has turned him rather… _cynical_."

"Dad will come around eventually. Even if that takes a while, "Ginny lowered her head.

"Ginny, sweetheart. You are welcome to stay here tonight, and I'll see you at the Memorial tomorrow, alright?"

Ginny nodded, "Okay, mum." Her mother leaned over to give her a hug and rose up from her chair to proceed with the clean-up.

The kitchen was in a bit of a mess, but with combined efforts from Molly, Ginny, and Harry, the room was back to its normal state. Glass shards removed, and the chairs repaired once again. Once that was done, Molly left to return to the Burrow, while Ginny happily stayed behind with Harry. They sat for a short while together, while she gently applying the bruise salve to Harry's jaw, which was already turning into a faint shade of purple.

"Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day. But Harry, you won't be alone – "As Ginny placed the bruise salve back on to the table, she leaned forward to embrace Harry in comfort.

They sat there together for a while, holding each other, and all they could hear was the sounds of their beating hearts against each other's chests.


	34. Ode to the Fallen

* * *

**NOTE:** There is a poem spoken below, which I will have referenced in a footnote at the end. It's not mine (I wish!). I did not write its full version, but I have posted the link below should you wish to read it in its entirety. It's rather beautiful.

Also, regarding the last chapter – I love Arthur, and I don't intend to paint him in a bad light. He is a father protective of his children and simply does not trust Severus anymore. But he trusts Harry, hence why he is not telling the authorities he is there. He wouldn't go that far. Part of this story is dealing with such ramifications that no matter what sacrifices Severus made for the Order, he still did bad things (even beyond his control), and some will still see him as a Death Eater. This is just another obstacle that Severus (and even Harry) must navigate through. Because the only living person that knows the entire truth about our Potions Master is Harry.

* * *

_Viva enim mortuorum in memoria vivorum est posita_

The life of the dead is retained in the memory of the living

* * *

CHAPTER 34: Ode to the Fallen 

It was no lie that this was the day that Harry Potter had been dreading the most. The Memorial has always been within the back of his mind and he tried his best not to overthink it, but now that the day was finally here, he wanted nothing more than to stay in bed in self-pity. He felt extremely nauseated at the prospect of seeing everyone there, along with the families of the victims now passed. To see the somber faces of his classmates, teachers, and families were too much for Harry to cope with.

How could he face them? All of them?

His Gryffindor bravery, of all days, became nothing more than a mere wish. He barely had the strength to pull himself out of bed and face the difficult day, but now he was nothing more than a coward.

The Boy Who Lived, wishes he didn't.

Harry knew deep down that he shouldn't blame himself. It was their choice to fight. And yet still, Harry will still carry that guilt, and continue to do so for the rest of his life. How can he live on when many of them died to keep him alive? How can he live on when so many died defending Hogwarts against Voldemort's onslaught where Harry was hunting for the final Horcrux'? Not that he _felt_ selfish about it – it was a war, regardless of Harry's supposed destiny. Since being marked as the Chosen One, it was a pressure that no child should ever have to bear the weight of. And that alone, drove his mind into chaos. It was too much on his consciousness that morning. And every other day that grimly passed by since the Battle of Hogwarts.

It didn't feel like a victory. Yes, Voldemort has since been defeated. But he still didn't feel like he won. He lost. He lost so much.

Harry ran to the bathroom to throw up early that morning upon first light, with Ginny dashing after him with concern. He felt humiliated. Defeated. The Boy Who Lived, throwing up in rising panic, with Ginny trying her best to soothingly rub circles on his back. Even she was at a loss of what to do. Eventually, she ran downstairs to see Snape and managed to obtain an anti-nausea potion from him. Snape must have anticipated this, as he handed the vial to her without hearing the rest of her plea, knowing very well the Gryffindor was struggling upstairs. Harry didn't even question the vial, as he downed the contents immediately, not caring exactly what was in. Eventually, once his nausea subsided ever so slightly, Harry got himself cleaned up and wandered back to his room, watching the clock tick by until it was time to go. Ginny sat with him for a while in silence, holding each other's hand, and wishing for this day to finally be over.

What seemed like an eternity of a wait, Snape wandered upstairs towards the pair, adorned in his formal suit, reminding Harry of the one he wore at the Yule Ball in his fourth year. After spending so much time recently with the Potions Master, Harry realised the man actually did have a variety of suits and did not have the same identical set of robes as he originally presumed. The man could attend in his pajamas today, and no one would know, as he'll be the lucky one utilizing the Invisibility Cloak. Harry noticed he took a little extra care with his appearance today. His suit was un-wrinkled and neat. Raven-hair in an oddly manageable degree hanging just atop his slumped shoulders. His face looked less pale today, and his dressing carefully concealed on his neck, behind his favorite black cravat. Harry couldn't even believe that he is noticing Snape's favorite things, now. Not a revelation he ever dreamed of having, but it provided Harry with some sense of normalcy prior to the service they were about to endure.

As of that night, the man would need to begin his two-day cleanse, as per the incantation, so that was another worry seeping into Harry's mind.

Once Snape made it to Harry's room, slightly breathless by the exertion of the several flights of stairs, he interrupted and pierced the quietness with his baritone voice, "…Time to leave."

Reaching for the Cloak hanging up beside his bed, he stood up and handed it to Snape, "…Lucky you."

As Snape took the Cloak from the Gryffindor, he tucked it under his arm neatly, observing Harry's sorrowful expression. Upon a slight pause, he continued, "…I know you don't want to go, Potter. "

"Neither do you, sir."

Snape sighed, "Just another task we must overcome. Let's get this over with, shall we?"

Harry nodded, as Ginny walked up beside him.

Snape turned to the youngest Weasley, "Miss Weasley, wait for us in the corridor downstairs if you will? We will be there shortly."

Giving Harry's hand a quick squeeze, she nodded, "Okay, Professor." With one quick reassuring look to Harry, she turned on her heel and made her way back downstairs.

Snape took a small step forward towards Harry, and leaned forward, observing the bruise across Harry's jaw, which had now turned a light yellow. "…Have you been using the salve?"

Reaching for his jaw, Harry instinctively touched the tender spot, "Yeah, I applied more this morning. "

Snape furrowed his brow, apologetically, "I – "

"- I _know_ , sir. I'm not blaming you. I know it was an accident, "The Professor looked relieved by that response, but Harry could tell that he still felt terrible about the accident. "Look, I just wanted to let you know…That Mark doesn't define who you are. No matter what Arthur said to you yesterday. You're no longer that person anymore."

A breath caught within Snape's throat, thrown off guard by Harry's words. The man clasped his hand over where the Dark Mark was etched upon his skin, "I suppose we both have scars that we cannot… _erase_. Your scar marked you as the Dark Lord's chosen _slayer_. Mine…"

"…Is a reminder of what you fought _against_. You _mustn't_ forget that. "

Snape stared at Harry, unsure of how much of that he was willing to believe. He wanted nothing more than to protest that sentiment – as much as Harry tried to be genuine – but he figured that it was not the time for such things. Snape also felt guilty about the loss of those innocent lives. The students, that he swore to protect. He simply couldn't do enough.

Instead, Snape cut the conversation short, "…We must leave. "

Swallowing the rising distaste within his mouth, Harry nodded. Upon noticing Harry's sullen mood, Snape solemnly extended his hand and rested it upon Harry's shoulder, squeezing gently. For a moment Harry closed his eyes, appreciative of that small comfort. He didn't recoil or tense up. It felt…normal. It was strange how things have progressed. After what they had both endured, each surviving their expected demise, it seemed to further fuel that connection between them. Harry didn't really know what to call this – relationship – yet. They had a mutual understanding, that was now certain. In some ways, Harry still saw him as a mentor, but even now, he saw this man as an equal. Allies, definitely. It wasn't even a friendship, not in the way Harry would presume of it. It was a… _mutual_ respect. Yes, at times they still didn't see eye-to-eye. But at least now, they were able to be more reasonable with each other. Each understood what the other needed, and in a way, it came as a welcome relief to the Gryffindor.

After losing so many of the adults within his life, this unexpected connection was one that he never knew he needed.

Harry finally opened his green eyes, meeting Snape's black ones briefly. Giving the man a defiant single nod, Harry turned to leave the room, with Snape closely behind.

They Disapparated away from Grimmauld Place and reappeared close to the Hogwarts greenhouses, giving Snape a decent distance away from potential onlookers. Once Snape threw the Invisibility Cloak over himself, Harry listened as Snape's footsteps trailed off into the distance to join the Memorial in secret. Harry felt bad that he had to do that, and he wished there was another way, but showing his face now would not bode well for him. Especially due to the attending Aurors, that was not a risk neither of them was willing to take.

Harry and Ginny made the somber walk to the Great Lake, hands entwined with each other. As they drew nearer to the location, they began to see more and more people among the wizarding community join the rest of the masses. Harry's heart began to race and cursed himself for destroying Snape's calming potion the previous morning due to his own irrational stupidity. Instead, he only hoped the anti-nausea potion he consumed earlier would subdue his stomach long enough until this was all over. Not that Harry had much left in his stomach due to his poor appetite in the last few days.

It was a cloudy, early Summer day. Mildly breezy, but gentle enough not to pose a problem. The white, fluffy clouds overlapped the few grey ones, as they cast clear reflections upon the Great Lake. A small clearing was made way for all the attendees, but as Harry and Ginny rounded the hill, they could see the extent of the service that was about to take place. In the distance, Albus Dumbledore's white marble tomb glistened in the sunlight upon its resting place in the center island of the Great Lake. As if the losses weren't already too much to deal with.

Before the water's edge, was a large, marble white monument. Specifically, a small obelisk, not much taller than Hagrid. Perched atop of the obelisk, was a marble statue shaped like a phoenix adorned with gold embellishments, with wings outstretched. The impressive statue seemed to glow within the midday sun. Hovering above the phoenix, was an empty silver ornate bowl, further sparking Harry's curiosity. Engraved upon the surface of the obelisk, where the names of all those who lost their lives on the day of the Battle of Hogwarts. Besides the monument, was a small stage with a podium, with a small tapestry over the front, emblazoned with the Hogwarts emblem. On one side of the stage were multiple chairs, where many Ministry officials were seated. In front of the podium, were what looked like hundreds of white chairs arranged neatly, with an aisle space in the center. Already half of those were filled with adults and students alike. On one side he could see Firenze and his fellow centaurs, engaging respectfully in conversation with Hagrid. In the front row, he recognised some of the Hogwarts faculty already perched and sat silently awaiting the service to begin.

As Harry and Ginny approached the chairs, they turned to find Hermione calling his name.

" _Not_ so loud Hermione. I was kind of hoping to sneak in without drawing attention, "Harry lowered his voice.

Hermione's eyes widened, "Oh, I'm sorry…Ron has saved us some seats around the middle – Harry _what_ happened to your face?"

It took Harry a few seconds to realise that she was talking about the bruise along his jaw, "Oh, that. Oh, err – "

"Dad and Snape had a massive fight yesterday, "Ginny whispered, "It was _horrendous_. Dad threw in a punch, and it got pretty nasty…Poor Harry tried to intervene."

Hermione was aghast, "Oh my – "

"- Let's just say, it'll be wise to keep them separated for now, "Harry winced.

Eventually, the three of them wandered towards where Ron was waiting for them and joined them as they occupied the empty seats. Neville and Luna were seated a row behind them, and Harry noticed the rest of the Weasley's seated several rows forward, with George sitting beside Angelina. Much to Harry's surprise, Charlie Weasley had also joined his family in paying respects to the fallen. Everywhere Harry looked, were familiar faces. Not just of the DA, but the remainder of his classmates from each House. He noticed that there were only a few Slytherins present – Harry knew that not all the Slytherins had fought against them, so the ones that did fight by Harry's side, sat nervously within the back rows. Many students were present, ranging from the current first-years to those seventh years who had to endure the Dark Year – as Ginny grimly put it. Many students and their accompanied family members took up most of the seatings.

As the time clicked closer to midday, all the seats were filled, and Harry noticed Kingsley making his way towards the podium. Adorned in his usual turquoise and purple robes, he pulled out his wand and pointed it towards his throat, casting a charm to amplify his voice.

"If I could have your immediate attention, please. Once you have all found your seats, I must reassure that this space is well-protected. Aurors, you may proceed – "The Minster addressed the crowd, as a few wayward guests immediately scrambled to their seats, and it wasn't until they were completely seated did Harry notice the Aurors stationed around them. He knew he shouldn't feel uncomfortable, but given what had happened at Godric's Hollow, it made him feel slightly uneasy. Ginny immediately clasped his hand, and he knew she felt the same. He still couldn't completely trust them.

One by one the stationed Aurors raised their wands and began to cast an assortment of shield charms, as a white ethereal barrier formed a bubble around them. Harry understood the precautions, but as McGonagall said, the Death Eaters would be utterly senseless to attack them all here and now.

Minister Kingsley cleared his throat, "It is with a heavy heart that I, Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt, lead the remembrance to celebrate our fallen brothers and sisters…Students and teachers…Family and friends. For all beings, human and creature, who fought valiantly and with immense bravery on the second of May – a month to this day - to protect this school and overthrow the greatest threat to our lives."

"It was a dark day for anyone present at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and for those who upheld their values and morals to fight for the cause on that day, your efforts will never go unnoticed. Furthermore, today is the day we pay our deepest respects for the Fallen, and collectively mourn those that are no longer with us. We will honor their memory, now and always. "

The Minister outstretched his hand towards the monument beside him, "In respect to those who lost their lives fighting alongside their allies, friends, and family…This monument stands erected as a permanent display of their noble sacrifices." Pointing his wand at the silver ornate bowl hovering just above the marble phoenix, a blue flame erupted within its center, burning brightly and magnificently. It reminded Harry of Hermione's bluebell flames charm, she favored. "I ignite this eternal flame as a symbol of their memory. This flame can never be extinguished, as of the imprints on our hearts our Fallen have bestowed upon us." He turned back to the podium, "Now, I would like to invite the Hogwarts Headmistress Minerva McGonagall to say a few words before we proceed…"

There was an almost suffocating silence, as McGonagall rose slowly from her chair in the front row, wearing her formal black robes and black pointed hat. Amongst the silence, the other sounds that were heard were the gentle lapping of the lake's water against the earth, and the sobs that escaped multiple seated attendees upon the Minister's opening speech. As McGonagall reached the podium, Harry noticed a grey handkerchief clasped tightly within her left hand.

"Thank you Minister for the lovely sentiment – "McGonagall paused for a few moments to compose herself, overwhelmed by the grieving crowd before her. Her aged face was incredibly saddened, which caused Harry's heart to sink further within his chest, "Never in all my years within the service of Hogwarts, did I ever imagine to be up here, addressing all those we lost on that day. A great evil, now, which has finally been vanquished. And we will _never_ speak of his name again. Not out of fear now, but because his name tarnishes against the souls we lost. No – We will speak of Fallen with honor and dignity. Their deaths are not in vain." McGonagall paused, as she was clearly overcome by grief, "These losses have _devastated_ us all. No doubt, moving forward seems like an impossible feat. But as Hogwarts was able to be rebuilt and restored, so will we."

McGonagall turned to the Minister, as they swapped places at the podium. Kingsley further addressed them of the proceedings, which involved the Ministry committee in stating each name of the Fallen. Harry turned to Ginny beside him and noticed tear-tracks down her freckled cheeks. He squeezed her hand, bringing her back to the present. This day was difficult for everyone.

All Harry could think about was his nightmare a few nights ago. All those faces of the dead, further taunting him and blaming him for their deaths. Their faces flashed before his eyes, and Harry tried his best to think of the Quidditch match Snape had brought forth within his mind for him. It seemed silly to think of something as mundane as a Quidditch match while they were all here sitting at the Memorial for his dead allies and classmates, but it was all he could do to keep his tears from exploding like a burst dam again. He turned to Hermione beside Ginny, who had her head on Ron's shoulder. Her hand clutched a fistful of tissues.

_"…Sally-Ann Perks…Alicia Spinnet…Patricia Stimpson…"_

Each Ministry Official stood up to read the names of those who were lost. Harry could barely focus on the remainder of the service because each name called was like a punch in the gut. Each name – each life – lost in this fight that should never have happened. Perhaps if Harry gave himself up earlier, they would have stood a better chance. He could have saved more lives…

_"…Colin Creevey…Anthony Goldstein…Jimmy Peakes…"_

But it was not possible. If Harry had known earlier that his own death would result in Voldemort's demise, then he would have tried that earlier. He couldn't have known. There was no way of knowing…

_"…Lavender Brown…Earnie Macmillan…Megan Jones…"_

And yet, Snape tried to contact him earlier that day. But Harry allowed the other teachers to cast him from the grounds, not knowing any different. He should have done more…

_"…Michael Corner…Lisa Turpin…Fred Weasley…"_

_Oh, Fred_. This should never had happened. If only Dumbledore told him about the Horcrux within him far earlier, then they would have been able to find a better solution. Did he believe that Harry would be cowardice and not do the deed when the time came? Harry couldn't help but think of all the things that could have worked alternatively.

_"…Mandy Brocklehurst…Stewart Ackerley…Terrence Higgs…"_

If only Snape had contacted him earlier and told him what needed to be done. Regrettably, he knew Snape was just as left in the dark with the entire plan more than Harry was. Dumbledore told Harry to trust Snape, but he didn't. He couldn't. But Dumbledore should have found another way. Dumbledore should have come up with a _better_ plan. They could have all prevented this…

_"…Professor Remus Lupin…Nymphadora Tonks…Desmond O'Halloran…"_

Harry wanted to vomit.

Eventually, the Ministry officials concluded the long list of names of all the Fallen, and upon each name called, was another blow to Harry's conscious. At this point within the service, there were many who sobbed with anguished cries, and a few incidences, some attendees had to be escorted away because they were hysterical. And he was sure one of them was Molly Weasley guided from her seat by George. At this point, Harry finally allowed a few of his own tears to fall.

It hurt too much. He just wanted to go home.

As if he didn't feel terrible enough, one of the sixth year Hufflepuffs he recognised stood up to the podium and recited a text, undoubtedly concluding the service, _"…If I be the first of us to die, Let grief not blacken long your sky._ _Be bold yet modest in your grieving, there is a change but not a leaving...When you walk the wood where once we walked together,_ _and scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow. Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,_ _and spotting something, reach by habit for my hand…And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you…Close your eyes._ _Listen for my footfall in your heart._ _I am not gone but merely walk within you..."_

By this point, there was most certainly not a dry eye among the crowd. For those that managed to compose themselves enough, one by one, some of the attendees made their way to the monument to conjure wreaths of rosemary – a herb symbolic of memory. As soon as the centaurs released their arrows of honour into the now-summer sky, the seats began to gradually empty as the attendees turned to leave. Many of them lingered to embrace one another, but most were too emotionally distraught to stick around. Some of the students – undoubtedly close friends with the Fallen – sat at the base of the monument, in tears. Harry was feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Eventually, they all began to depart. Harry noticed McGonagall hastily try to brush away her own tears in the first row, but she was comforted by Professor Trelawny. Hagrid was weeping, as Harry saw him shudder with each escaped sob. Most of the Ministry officials turned to leave, with two staying behind with Minister Kingsley. The Aurors stationed remained behind to make sure people could Apparate safely away.

Harry and his friends remained seated, unable to gather the courage to leave. He stared transfixed at the blue flames flickering atop of the marble phoenix, wishing above all else, that he could bring them all back. His stomach twisted in knots, sickened by the rising helplessness within him.

It was just far too many losses.

Neville, who was sitting with his grandmother, had walked up to the monument and stood in silence. Taking that opportunity, Harry slowly rose from his seat and made his way towards him, trying his best to ignore the stares upon the Boy-Who-Lived. Sure, they labeled him a hero. But Harry did not think of such things of himself. He was far from a hero and didn't deserve such a pompous title. He was no hero when he couldn't save the lives that were lost.

Harry cautiously walked up to Neville, standing side-by-side with his friend. Together, they stood in silence, both reading the names of the Fallen inscribed upon the marble.

Neville quietly broke the silence, "…Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"Yeah, "Harry lowered his voice, almost feeling unworthy of speaking, "Are you considering going back?"

Neville turned to Harry, "To Hogwarts? McGonagall told me that she'll accept seventh years if they wish to return again, but she also mentioned that we can come back and re-take our electives for whatever career we choose to pursue."

"That's good. So, I suppose you could have, say, a half year?"

"Basically, yeah. What about you?"

Harry paused to ponder, "I'm still thinking about it. I'd have to sit the full year, but I actually wouldn't mind pursuing teaching there in the future."

Neville's face lit up, "Really? Who knows, we could both end up colleagues!"

" _Shhh_ , not so loud Neville. It's not definite yet. McGonagall offered for me to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, but I want to spend some time helping Kingsley with our Death Eater problem. I don't think I want to be an official Auror. Settling with something a little more normal, seems rather…welcoming. After everything. Plus, teaching allows me to, well…give back, _somehow_."

Neville smiled at Harry, "Seems like you have it planned out."

Harry shrugged, "I'm sure I'll have a proper answer eventually. It's just an idea, really."

"You'll be a great teacher, Harry. Being at Hogwarts would be good for you, I think, "Neville's eyes darted over Harry's shoulder, "Time for me to go. I think my gran is getting a little impatient. See you around?"

"Yeah, see you Neville – "Harry turned to see McGonagall walking up to Harry, and taking Neville's place beside him. Immediately, the Headmistress wrapped her arm around Harry's shoulder, still clasping her handkerchief tucked within her hand. "Professor, the service was…" Harry frowned, as he paused. What could he possibly say?

Sensing his stumbling words, McGonagall nodded, "…I know, Potter. It was beautiful, though nothing seems to be enough to express that…They are _well_ -honoured. Poor Albus tried to calm me in the Headmaster's office earlier, but…How can one honestly prepare themselves for something like this?"

"I-I wish I knew, Professor."

McGonagall lowered her voice, so only Harry could hear, "You know – I tried to talk to Severus to coax him to open up about his illness, but as usual, he was rather…rudely dismissive."

"Doesn't surprise me. He probably doesn't want to worry you. He feels bad enough that I know."

The woman smiled weakly, "Perhaps. He always preferred to carry his own burdens. Has he been…Well, _lenient_ , towards you?"

Harry was stunned by the question, not quite understanding what she meant, "Aside from some disagreements, he is…More tolerable. We've been, well, talking a lot actually. Which is strange, considering our previous…misunderstandings."

McGonagall squeezed Harry's shoulder gently in comfort, "I'm very relieved to hear that, Potter. Despite Severus' bitterness, he does have a soft spot somewhere within his depths which I know he _chooses_ to hide. He is capable of empathy, I know because I've seen it, but he chooses to brush it off with that usual snarkiness of his. He _despises_ his own vulnerability, you know. Perhaps now with You-Know-Who gone, maybe he can allow himself to well… _feel_ , again."

"Makes me wonder what he would have been like if the world was kinder to him."

McGonagall smiled, sadly, "I often wonder that, too." She glanced at the marble phoenix perched upon the obelisk, "His name would have been here, you know. Etched amongst the Fallen. I'm glad he survived. That man has endured far too much, as with you, Potter. As fate will have it, the war connected you both, even if it took seven years between you. "

"I suppose it did, Professor – "Harry turned his head to find the Minister walking in his direction. McGonagall released her arm from Harry's shoulder nodded her head in Kingsley's direction.

Minister Kingsley offered Harry a somber smile, "Harry."

"Hi, Kingsley – Any word on Lee Jordon? Or Dean's parents?"

Kingsley shook his head, "Sadly, no word. The Death Eaters are keeping a quiet front for now since the attack on the Quarry, but I fear it won't be long until they strike again. I gather no word on your end either?"

"No, sir. We've been laying low since. Ginny only returned from St. Mungo's a few days ago."

McGonagall looked relieved, "I'm relieved she is doing better."

"I see, "Kingsley lowered his voice, as he leaned closer to Harry, "There is an issue that I'd need to address with you regarding…Severus. I'm afraid it's not good news."

Harry frowned, "…What is it?"

Kingsley drew in a deep breath, "He killed two Death Eaters that night, Harry. Whether they were accidental or not, it will not bode well for his defense if he was to be discovered. Multiple witnesses would confirm what they saw."

McGonagall looked alarmingly at Harry.

"It _was_ defensive, sir. One of them was about to use the Killing Curse – "

"I know, Harry. And I _know_ Severus. He wouldn't do it without good reason. But will the other witnesses share your testimony? I'm afraid not. Just – "Kingsley clenched his jaw, "– Make sure whatever he does, does not paint him any darker. I cannot help him when the odds are stacked against him."

Harry swallowed rising distaste within his mouth, "I'll try, sir. Thank you for letting me know."

Kingsley stood up straight, and smiled warmly, "You're a good man, Harry. Today was a challenging day, but allow us to move forward positively, alright?"

"Yeah, "Harry watched as the Minister turned on his heel to walk away.

McGonagall turned to Harry, " _Please_ , do try and keep him out of trouble. Contact me for _anything_ , alright, Potter?" The Headmistress reassured as she turned to join the rest of the Hogwarts faculty and make their way back to the school.

Harry was rather worried now about the implications of the murdered Death Eaters by Snape's hand. After all, one of them attempted to use the Killing Curse on him, and so they had no choice but to defend themselves in any way possible, even if Snape had to resort to Dark Magic. Unfortunately, that did result in the death of one of the poor victims. Neither one of them was aware of what those barbaric magical cages could do, and the thought of that made Harry sick to his stomach.

Now, he couldn't erase that from his mind.

Harry had been spent of all emotional energy that day and decided to head back to Grimmauld Place in his attempt to calm his mind. Ron and Ginny decided to return to the Burrow with the rest of their family. Molly had offered to Harry to join them, but he kindly declined. He was in no way mentally equipped to deal with Arthur at this point, so he decided to leave that confrontation for another day. Hermione made a quick stop to check up on the potions brewing within the empty classroom before she decided to head back to her parents' house to spend some time with them. By this point, everyone was too saddened by the memorial service to face anyone again that day. Upon McGonagall's conversation and the Minister's words of warning, Harry just wanted to be home.

Once he left the safe wards of Hogwarts later in the afternoon, Harry Apparated back to Grimmauld Place, to find Snape had already arrived before him. He found the man sitting in the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea in his hands. Harry caught the scent of lemon and honey.

"…You're here early sir."

"Actually Potter, _you_ were late – "Snape raised an eyebrow, "– I departed as the service ended. I had no desire to stick around longer than necessary."

Snape looked exhausted. His face a shade paler than usual, and he noticed his eyes had trouble focusing. Harry was doing his best to read the man's expression, who appeared rather pensive and solemn. Like Harry, Snape didn't want to be there today, and likely for the same reasons as his own. Perhaps Snape felt just as guilty for the lives lost, knowing he couldn't do anything about it. He wondered what Snape was doing on that day – maybe Voldemort had told him to remain behind, not wanting to lose his important source of intel. Snape must have felt as entirely as useless as Harry.

Harry cautiously took a seat across from the man, sharing the same grave expression as he. His stomach ached from the constant nauseating feeling all day, as he accidentally let out a small groan in response.

Snape looked at Harry, quizzically.

"Just...Too many things on my mind."

"Well, I would have suggested taking a few drops of the _Animo Silentium_ elixir, but you so _carelessly_ destroyed it. "

Harry hung his head, embarrassed, "I know, I'm…sorry. I'll help you brew more – "

Snape sighed heavily as he raised his hand to stop the Gryffindor, "- _No_ matter, Potter. You need food, and rest."

Harry grimaced, "I'd probably just throw that back up, to be honest."

"Then I suggest rest. And do _not_ protest against it, Potter. I don't fancy the clean-up," Snape frowned.

Nodding in response, Harry wasn't up for arguing against that as he picked himself up from the chair and made his way to his bedroom to rest for the remainder of the afternoon. The day took a lot out of him, and he felt so emotionally drained. His heart remained heavy. It was a sad day for everyone.

Harry ended up sleeping through the night uninterrupted – much to his surprise – until he woke up in the late hours of the morning. Lately, he had trouble sleeping any earlier, and when he finally did drift off in slumber, he would awake later than usual. Almost beating Ron in sleeping habits. Half the time, Harry found it difficult to get out of bed. Often, he figured that there was no point. He never used to spend so much time in bed, but lately, it seemed to be his new normal.

Finally gathering enough energy, he wandered back downstairs to the kitchen to find Kreacher preparing a stack of pancakes for him. He managed to eat half of it until he could tolerate it no more. Harry figured that he'd try to test his appetite, but given his response to the pancakes, it may not have been the wisest choice. Plus, he knew that they'd be enacting the first part of the incantation tomorrow night and knew that Snape had begun fasting. Suddenly, he felt terrible again.

Cutting his meal short, he found Snape in the sitting room reading the _Daily Prophet_ by the fireplace. As neither one of Harry's friends were present, he figured he would join the Professor to kill some time. Otherwise, he may end up crawling back into bed.

"Any exciting news in there?" Harry curled up back in his sofa chair. He was amused by the thought of both he and Snape adopting their own chairs now because it was now becoming quite the odd habit between the pair. The comfort of the sitting room by the fire reminded Harry of the comfort of the Gryffindor common room – though not as good – and Harry was half-tempted to decorate the room in Gryffindor colors. But he knew he would forever earn criticism and snarky remarks from Snape if he dared try it, though Harry was tempted to give that a go sometime just for the self-amusement and reaction from the Slytherin Potions Master.

Without taking his eyes off the newspaper, Snape responded lazily, "If you count some _dunderhead_ smuggling baby Cornish pixies during a quick stop at The Three Broomsticks, and releasing them accidentally in his drunken _stupor_ , then perhaps."

Harry snorted in amusement, trying to grasp the image of that scene within his mind, "I didn't realise they were open."

"I'm sure Rosmerta wouldn't waste an opportunity to re-open, so that doesn't surprise me in the slightest, "Snape neatly folded up the newspaper and placed it back onto the table, "There haven't been any new enemy sightings thus far. "

Harry looked worried, "That's…concerning."

"Without a doubt, they will be _far_ more meticulous and elusive. They know we are onto them."

Harry paused for a moment, hesitant at first with speaking what was on his mind. But he decided to try asking as it would forever tug at his brain, "Sir? …What exactly was that smoke spell you used on that Death Eater at the Quarry that night?"

Snape raised his chin slightly, eyeing the Gryffindor carefully, "Nothing _you_ are required to know, Potter."

Harry shrugged lightly, "I was only curious."

"And often mere curiosity can get you killed."

"Well, I'd _like_ to know, in case a Death Eater wants to use it against me," Harry had to stop himself from smirking, as he found a loophole to the request. Surely Snape couldn't deny this kind of knowledge to a student? Harry was definitely testing his luck. _And_ the man's patience.

Snape huffed under his breath and gave a subtle eye roll. He definitely sensed Harry's cunning, "I will not delve within those details to you."

" _Fine_. At least be vague?" Harry was feeling extra determined, despite walking a fine line prodding the bull.

"NO."

"I just want to _know_. Seriously, I'm _not_ going to attempt it, if that's what you are worried about."

That earned a glare from Snape, who shifted to clasp his hands over his lap, eyeing the Gryffindor as he paused to consider the request. "… _Very_ well. It is a curse that can suffocate the unfortunate victim from the inside. _Satisfied_?"

Harry paused, waiting for the man to finish, but he didn't. The Gryffindor frowned, "…And?"

Snape raised his eyebrow, slightly amused, "No, _and_ , Potter. I was _intentionally_ vague."

Harry sat back in his chair, not quite satisfied with the answer, with Snape looking ever so smug overpowering the Gryffindor in a battle of wits.

_Well, it was worth a try._

After a short pause, Snape's expression turned serious once more, "Retrieve your wand."

Harry looked confused, "But sir -?"

"Surely you're not as _deaf_ as you are thick-headed? I will not ask again."

Slowly, and still confused, Harry retrieved his wand. Snape moved to stand, also retrieving his own wand, as Harry wordlessly followed suit. He wasn't going to teach him that spell, was he? He didn't ask so that he could learn it. As sadistic as Snape could be, even he wasn't stupid enough to teach Harry a dark spell such as that one. His experience using _Sectumsempra_ was enough of a lesson.

"I am going to teach you the freeze charm I used at the Quarry, which I presumed you witnessed?"

Harry actually felt relieved, "Uh yeah, I did. That was quite impressive, sir."

" _Without_ waving your wand, I want you to repeat after me - "Snape lowered his wand pointed to the floor in passive stance, as Harry mirrored his move, "- _Glacius impedimenta_."

Harry repeated the spell without fault.

With a curt nod, Snape turned to the side and faced the center of the room, "Watch my wand movements _closely_ , Potter. Allow me to demonstrate - _Glacius impedimenta_." Turning to the unfortunate inanimate object which was the dormant lamp atop of the dusty piano in the corner, he expertly flourished his wand into a spiral, followed by a harsh diagonal strike upwards. When the tip of his wand burst a ball of ice, it froze the lamp completely, but the force of the spell caused it to crash to the floor. Waving his wand again, he cast a non-verbal _Finite Incantatem_ and _Repairo_ , sending it back into its original state and place.

Snape turned on his heel to face the Gryffindor, "… _Proceed_."

With a deep breath, Harry outstretched his arm –

"– _Watch_ your footing, Potter. Do _not_ lock your elbow. Relax the arm slightly – "

Harry nodded, adjusting his stance as best he could. He was admittedly, a little sloppy within his dueling posture. Fighting alongside his fellow students didn't exactly give him the most professional skills. With Snape, he only expected a higher quality and advanced level, and frankly, he could use the added discipline. Harry had to keep in mind that he was old enough to take this seriously now and avoid being so amateur as he felt like he was sometimes.

As Harry spoke the incantation, a ball of ice exploded from his wand but soared too high up, missing the lamp, and hitting one of the painted portraits on the wall, causing it to come crashing down. Harry winced with the impact.

"Try _again_. Work on your aim."

Harry made another attempt, this time aiming too low, freezing the piano chair instead. He cursed under his breath.

"Adequate, but I want you to be _precise_ with your target. _Again_."

Gritting his teeth, Harry tried again. This time he managed to hit the lamp successfully, causing it to immediately shatter on impact. Harry smiled in victory.

" _Good_. With experience and precision, you can manipulate the spell into a beam to enable maximum effect," Snape gave a single curt nod to Harry in acknowledgment and turned towards the new mess of glass shards scattered across the floor. He took a large stride forward to flourish his wand and repair the damage, but the effect was met by a few shards lifting up slightly, then falling back to the floor in a lazy heap. A breath caught in his throat as he tried again, making a little more progress. He was able to finally piece together the lamp but could not lift it up magically off the floor.

The color further drained from Snape's already paled face.

Harry watched closely, and with identical horror as the man's magic was slowly diminishing in front of their eyes. Eventually, he stepped in on behalf and levitated the lamp back onto its perch atop of the piano, and turned to face his teacher.

"…Sir?" Harry was admittedly scared to say anything more.

Snape stood, rooted to the spot, still staring at the lamp. He remembered having some difficulty that day at Malfoy Manor, but he didn't anticipate it to be an occurrence he'd face again.

Snape's voice dropped quietly, and quivered, "…It seems as if the curse is progressing faster than I anticipated. And inhibiting my ability – "

For once, Harry didn't know what to say. It was actually heart-wrenching. He couldn't ever imagine slowly seeing one's magic slowly disappearing. For a wizard as skilled and powerful as Severus Snape was, Harry actually felt bad for him. They could only hope that it would return once the curse could finally be removed. Until then, there was nothing else that they could do.

Snape's arms slumped to his side helplessly, as he turned to the Gryffindor. Their gaze met, and Harry could see a deep sadness within his obsidian eyes. It was one thing to purposely hide your vulnerability, but it was another to have it become visible and apparent, beyond your control, stripped away.

And at that moment, they knew their problems became far worse.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE:** I won't repost the poem in full here because it's long, but you can search the poem name in Google with the details below, you should find it there. I cut the poem down to fit the chapter.

"If I Be the First of Us to Die" – by Nicholas Evans


	35. Crimson Sky

* * *

**NOTE** : The first phase of the ritual is here! ^_^ Now, I just want to touch upon a few things.

The ritual itself takes some elements of modern-day witchcraft, which I am familiar with, but I want to stress that these rituals are not _fully_ reliant on it. That being said, the incantations spoken below will actually be in Latin, but I will place the English translations within the Footnotes as an FYI. I have researched Latin texts in favor of this story (and boy, it took foreeever +_+), and have approached more expert assistance on the language so I can avoid being completely amateur about it. Not that I'm saying that these are 100% accurate, but, this is to let you know that I spent much time in the research phase (I have seriously about 6 pages on the transference spell already, if that's any indication).

Lastly, yes, this will be a Severus POV chapter. Since Harry is unable to witness it, it just makes sense for the POV to change. But I will delve into Harry's thought process about it in the next chapter because it's rather important also from his POV.

I'm so sorry what I'm about to put them through **cries**

**TRIGGER WARNING** : Touches upon physical, emotional, and verbal abuse (not in detail).

* * *

"When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret."

― **Shannon L. Alder**

* * *

CHAPTER 35: Crimson Sky

**Two nights until the Full Moon**

Severus was left absolutely stricken upon his now-faltering magic. It was like a part of himself was slowly fading away, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He didn't think it was ever possible to mourn for the gradual loss of his magic, but his recent display in front of Potter that morning was now evident in the seriousness of his illness. His magic – his source of comfort and protection – now diminishing. The thought itself actually frightened him.

How could he defend himself? How could he _protect_ Potter? He felt so ashamed with himself. He was becoming unbearably useless.

_And I hit him. I hit Potter…What have I done?_

Even though the boy himself was not angered by that unfortunate act, Severus felt sickened with himself. As much as the Gryffindor frustrated him at times, he would never dare purposely lay a hand on him like that. But he did strike him, and he was utterly repulsed by it. Potter may have sensed that he was genuinely hurt by it, but he didn't understand the extent of Severus' horror.

Severus was reminded of the unfortunate nights where his own father would hit him across the face, usually consumed by his own intoxication and realised his own destructiveness on both he and his mother. Suddenly, he reminded himself of his father, and that thought alone sent shivers down his spine. He did not want to become that man. It couldn't be possible…He couldn't allow that to happen. Upon his own bitterness and self-loathing, he did not want to become his father.

He didn't mean it. He didn't intend to hurt Potter. The boy has suffered enough.

_Oh Lily, I'm so sorry. You must think so little of me._

Severus couldn't help but dwell on Arthur Weasley's words about his Dark Mark the previous evening. His Mark was a reminder of one of the worst choices of his life. A path he so carelessly and blindly followed, thinking it would give him that security and comfort within such a rising power, and that dire need to truly belong somewhere. He couldn't have been more wrong with himself. His priorities and personal vendetta's cost him both his humanity and Lily. His Dark Mark caused him to lose everything.

Potter had asked what he would have done if he never joined the Death Eaters.

Every single day he dwelled on what could have been. What life he could have had instead. Perhaps he would have found someone willing to accept him for who he was. Perhaps he may have been open to some type of love with another woman. That need to _be_ loved. He wanted _someone_ to love and care for. A partner he could feel safe with. Perhaps he may even have been married. With a child, perhaps? Was he even _capable_ of being a father?

Definitely not in this lifetime. It was a wish that was never meant to be.

Severus didn't know what it felt like to have a child. One he could call his own. Although he did understand Arthur's outburst and need to protect his children, it still deeply wounded him. He made Severus feel like a threat…a _danger_. He was no enemy, and yet that Weasley seemed confident enough to brand him one, even still. After everything.

He couldn't help but think of those words echoing within his mind as he stood behind the crowd of mourners in the far back at the Memorial, leaning against a tree with the Invisibility Cloak wrapped around him. He really didn't feel comfortable attending because he felt like he was intruding on something sacred. Like he was a mere shadow imposing on something so intimate. He didn't belong there. Severus tried his best to protect those kids during his ill-fated period as Headmaster, but he could not save them. He could not join that fight, as he was still undercover until his dying breath. Perhaps he could have saved some of them. _Any_ of them. He failed to protect them. He failed them all. He knew that, and he would forever be burdened by it. The service itself was beautiful, but he could not help but stare at Albus' tomb in the distance, just to further the blow to his own soul. It hurt too much to be there.

He left as soon as the service ended. It was all he could tolerate.

Severus felt poorly for the remainder of that day, where he made it back to headquarters in time to sneak in a mug of tea before his fasting period. He was to cease taking any type of potion that would potentially counteract the one he was meant to take prior to the incantation. In other words, he could not consume anything. Once he completed the first stage of the spell, then he could resume taking them. For now, he just had to grit his teeth and deal with the symptoms as best he could.

Most of the following day was spent feeling nauseous, as his stomach decided to do backflips in retaliation of the curse effects which continued to run its course. He couldn't eat anything, and water was all he could consume. But even that could not stay within his stomach. It was difficult to keep up with adequate fluid intake when his stomach just wanted to expel it right back up. As with the onslaught of headaches, it did not help matters. Every bit of light which penetrated through his window, caused him pain as the sensitivity caused him to feel even more ill. So, Severus spent a little too much time in the bathroom. Several times during the day, Potter arrived banging on the door, making sure the Professor was still alive in some shape or form. After a while, Severus got annoyed and yelled at him to leave him be. He knew the teenager meant well and had no idea how to help, but Severus was adamant he could deal with this small setback himself. He did his best to try and retain as much dignity and independence as he possibly could until there was a time when it likely would not be possible.

But Severus was exhausted, frustrated, and irritable.

Instead, he tried to stay within the familiar confine of his room, avoiding Potter for as long as he could. It was terrible enough for him to see him in his current ghastly state and did his best to mask the pain behind his usual stoic demeanor. He could see Potter trying to remain cautious, but even he could not hide his struggles from the Gryffindor. Upon a hasty trip to the bathroom, Severus found himself overcome by dizziness once again, causing him to slowly slump to the floor within the second-floor corridor. Potter must have heard his attempts to grab hold of something until he reached the floor. Eventually, Potter assisted the man back to his room and even became frustrated with himself for attempting to travel on his feet in his slightly disorientated state.

Eventually, Severus gave in and remained in bed. It seemed like the safest option at that point. He felt defeated and refused to talk to Potter for the rest of that day. He hated feeling so trapped, so… _helpless_. He hated being assisted against his will, like some victim to be pitied. The idea was repulsing even to him, but deep down, he knew he required help. Begrudgingly.

The nausea at least happened in waves. But the pain was consistent with the wound on his neck. It felt like being pierced slowly by a hot knife, over and over again. Severus gritted his teeth, but even that caused him discomfort. He was losing this battle, and there was nothing else that he could do. Even his Occlumency could do him no favors this time, as each day left him weaker than the last. He had previously told Potter to eliminate the potions within his room, in order to remove any kind of temptation. One falter, and that could drastically affect this incantation. Potter felt guilty upon the request, but even he knew it was for his own good.

The boy even used the potions as an incentive for him to keep going. He just had to get through another single day like this.

Just one more.

* * *

**Full Moon**

Severus barely managed a few hours of sleep that night. The pain had dulled but was still problematic. Potter had knocked several hours earlier offering to help him with anything, but instead, Severus sent him away yet again.

If things couldn't get any worse, the full moon was that night. That meant he had another restless day of symptoms he could barely manage himself. He was tired and losing strength fast. But once he could deal with the first stage tonight, he could start to take further analgesic and anti-nausea potions to send him at ease. For now, it was his driving force. He just wanted this pain eliminated. And this was in preparation for what was to come. Although he had an inkling of what might happen, it still left him with a rising dread. Each hour that ticked by, left him far more anxious than it should. He hated delving into unfamiliar territory. He was a meticulous, calculative, and knowledgeable man.

But for once, he didn't know what was going to happen tonight, and that scared him.

Severus reached for the goblet of water at his bedside, but his tremoring hands caused him to lose his grip, as it fell off the side with a loud _CLANK_ on the wooden floor. He growled and cursed harshly under his breath. Heavy footsteps ran down the stairs, as Potter burst through the door looking alarmed.

" _POTTER_ , you are required to knock!" Severus responded through clenched teeth.

Potter looked slightly sheepish, "Sorry sir, I thought you… _fell_." His eyes darted to the goblet laying on the ground along with the pool of water forming underneath. The Gryffindor withdrew his wand to clean up the mess and refilled the goblet once more. Much to Severus' disapproval, he eventually allowed the Gryffindor to assist him to sit up in order to take a few well-needed sips to quench his thirst. Severus slumped back against his pillow, devoured of energy.

"The potion will be ready in a few hours – "Potter swallowed thickly, and Severus sensed his nervousness too. He watched as the teenager gingerly made his way to the chair to sit beside him, "- Then we'll make our way to the forest."

Both he and Potter had discussed possible locations previously and decided that the Forbidden Forest was the most obvious place to perform the incantation. It was difficult to discover a location where it is un-frequented by wizardkind and one that not many creatures would dwell. They had to find a section of the Forest that was secluded, but away from the usual habitats of some of the creatures that lived there. Severus knew of a spot close to where the Thestrals usually grazed, and it was upon a small clearing where the moon was visible. It was the only logical option at this point.

Severus shook his head, "Once we arrive there, you are to depart _immediately_ back to Headquarters – "

"- You _can't_ change my mind, sir. I don't care what you say. I'm going, "Potter appeared annoyed. They both had spent the last few days heavily debating this, and yet they still came to the same conclusion. There was no shaking the stubborn Gryffindor from his midst, as much as he tried. Every attempt to repel the teenager gravitated him further towards him.

If anyone had asked him this a year ago, he would have done everything in power to prevent an audience. Least of all from Harry Potter.

Upon the man's near-death a month prior, that experience admittedly frightened him beyond anything he ever experienced in his life. Severus didn't believe in fate, but it was by a blessed chance that Potter was there to receive those memories in time. Any minute too late he, and those memories, would have been lost, and who was to know what would have transpired then? But it had nothing to with the memories that had Severus afraid. It was death itself. Potter was there amongst his final moments, and admittedly, it was a small comfort. Knowing that someone was there, even though that person happened to be Potter, of all people. The person he had spent protecting for half of his life. At that point in time, it didn't matter. Nothing else had mattered then. Because it was at that point, Severus had done all he could for him. Even though Potter would have still seen him as the enemy.

But he could not have imagined laying there, bleeding to his death, scrambling for life. Alone. That thought scared him senseless. He couldn't imagine being left there to die, and no one would ever know until they stumbled upon his lifeless form. It would have all been for nothing. He spent so many years preparing for possible death, and he thought he was comfortable with the idea. Willing, in fact. Now that the threat loomed once more, it sent him on-edge.

Now, he wanted to live.

But the truth was, amongst his own shame, he wanted _someone_ there now and the only one that wasn't completely repulsed by his presence, ironically, was Potter. This time, he really was scared to be alone once more. But could he dare admit that to the boy? He couldn't. The Gryffindor knew too much already. Potter was somehow expecting his usual confident teacher to be completely calm and collected throughout this entire ordeal. But truthfully, he was scared out of his mind.

And yet he was also scared to have him there and witness whatever was about to transpire that night. His desires were conflicted, and he couldn't put the teenager through further pain on his own accord. He had put him through enough hardships through the course of his life and being a dying burden upon him was not what he intended. But Potter _chose_ to remain with him. It was his choice.

Severus was far too worn-out to argue. Each time he tensed; a hot pain would shoot through this neck. He couldn't deal with this anymore. He just wanted this to be all over.

'…Sir?"

Severus clenched his jaw in pain, and replied with a muffled voice, " _What_ , Potter?"

Potter hesitated slightly upon the man's grouchy tone of voice, but that didn't stop him, "Remember you told me about my mum? When you were at school with her – "He continued, as Severus suddenly turned his attention back at the Gryffindor, "– You had those…magical quandaries you mentioned? Well, to help keep your mind off the pain…I have one for you."

Severus didn't know if he was kidding or trying to further irritate him. He had no more energy to yell at him to leave, and thus, there was very little resistance on his part. But upon the boy's mention of Lily, already that seemed to deter his mind of their current problem. Until Granger returned with the completed potion, they were to wait.

Severus shuffled up within the bed with great effort as he did his best to position himself better, once again, waving his arm away at the Gryffindor to halt his attempts to help.

Once he took a few moments to compose himself, he drew in a large deep breath and responded rather feebly, "…Go on."

Potter seemed rather pleased with that response, and sat back in the chair, "Alright. If someone were under the Imperius Curse, and they drank Veritaserum, could the curse by-pass their ability to tell the truth?"

Severus looked at Potter as if he suddenly grew an extra head, "…What kind of _ridiculous_ question is that?"

"Did you prefer I ask you what your favorite Bertie Botts flavors, were?" Potter smirked.

Severus opened his mouth to speak but instead closed it again as he paused to ponder such a question. It was actually quite a complex one and he was rather surprised it was Potter to think of such a thing. The Gryffindor was definitely here to further pick his brain. Well, this wasn't the method Severus had to take his mind off the excruciating pain, but it was the only way he had at this point. So, he decided to go with the distraction as a welcome relief.

Severus arched his head, "Veritaserum is _undoubtedly_ potent, but not definitively reliable. The potion effectively overrides your ability to lie. It cannot work fully if the victim's mind is damaged or manipulated because that will provide a skewed sense of what they _believe_ is the truth, "Severus paused, as he drew in a struggled breath, "…But I suppose it all depends of the strength of the caster of the Imperius Curse. If the caster can _successfully_ warp the mind of the host upon their control of the person's will, then the Veritaserum should _only_ react to _that_ skewed truth. Furthermore, given that logic, Veritaserum will essentially triumph, but would likely prove ineffective."

"That poor host would never know what the actual truth would be. I can't imagine them being, well…the same after that, "Potter squirmed a little within his seat, looking slightly mortified, "I suppose that's never really happened before?"

"Not to my knowledge. Given the circumstances surrounding the… _psychological_ assault, you are correct to assume that they may not be the same after it. Once they come to, I doubt that their truth perceptivity would be pure and untainted. "

Potter grimaced, "So what if that person were an Occlumens? And they were under the Imperius Curse _and_ Veritaserum?"

Severus raised his eyebrow and scoffed, "I'd rather perish than succumb to either of those, simultaneously, Potter. An Occlumens can _cloak_ the truth, but Veritaserum alters the chemical construct of your brain temporarily, so the truth would still come to light. But as mentioned previously, Veritaserum is not _always_ reliable."

"That…oddly makes sense."

"Is the answer satisfactory enough for you?" Severus couldn't help but smirk. He wasn't entirely sure because he amused the Gryffindor with an answer to a seemingly impossible question, or simply threw the teenager off guard. His face suddenly turned deadpan, "Also…Cinnamon and grape."

"…Excuse me?"

"The answer to your second question."

It took a few moments for the Gryffindor to register what he meant, because once he did, Potter burst into laughter. Severus hadn't meant for it to be funny, but for a brief moment, he forgot all about the pain and focused his amusement from the now incoherent teenager across from him. There was something cathartic about it, and even for a fleeting moment, forgot all about the looming ritual ahead. And the corners of Severus' mouth twitched into the most subtle smile he could muster. Lily would have had the same reaction as the boy beside him.

It was rather comforting.

As the evening clicked closer, Granger had arrived bearing the first completed potion, which turned into a thick crimson color, resembling blood. As Severus finally gathered enough energy to stand on his feet without the room spinning around him, he got himself dressed while Potter and Granger were having a discussion downstairs. There was no distinguishing such conversation, but he concluded at least, that it wasn't a heated argument.

Carefully, Severus made his way downstairs as slowly as he could tolerate. Potter was kind enough to dim the lights for him, as he currently knew how sensitive to harsh light he was. Upon reaching the kitchen, Granger was clasping the book tightly to her chest, while Potter was carrying a bag full of the supplies that they needed; both stopping to look at him as he entered.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me accompanying you – "Granger was insistent.

Severus steadied himself against the doorframe, " _That_ will not be necessary, Miss Granger."

"It's fine, Hermione. I'm going with him, "Potter responded.

Granger's eyes widened, "Harry, _remember_ – "

"- I _know_. It's okay, "Once he retrieved the book, Potter turned to Severus, slightly anxious, "Ready to go, sir?"

Severus responded with a single nod, "…Let's get this _blasted_ thing over and done with."

Nothing else was said after that, as departing seemed like such a solemn affair, and Severus was getting uncomfortable the longer they waited. The Potion's Master was already having issues with balance as the world seemed to spin before his eyes, so Potter was tasked with Apparating them both to the Forbidden Forest. Once they re-materialised, Severus dropped to his knees, fighting a wave of nausea on the forest floor. He was most certainly devoured of energy to the point where he could seriously just lay down, curl into a ball, and drift off to sleep. It seemed rather inviting.

"…Sir?" That seemed to prod Severus back into reality.

Severus grumbled under his breath, "Just…leave me be. Leave me here. Go _home_."

Potter dropped to kneel beside him, "No, we are almost there. Don't make me summon Professor McGonagall."

Severus shot Potter a murderous look, "Don't you _bloody_ dare, Potter."

"Then, _listen_. Here, I'll help you up – "Despite Severus' low growl in defeat, Potter slung the man's arm over his shoulder as they stood up in unison. Severus swayed slightly on his feet, but Potter did not let go, "…We'll walk there together."

They walked in silence as they passed the clearing where the Thestrals lived, taking each step carefully. It almost felt like he was marching to his death. The experience itself was unnerving, and the closer they traveled, the more anxious Severus started to feel. He did his best to mask the uncertainty on his face because if he could be useful for one thing, he could at least give the teenager the illusion that he was confident about the incantation. Seeing the worry on the Gryffindor's face did not help matters.

They arrived at their chosen secluded clearing with the full moon shining brightly overhead, illuminating the area around them. In the distance, a few lights could be seen within Hogwarts castle, but their view was concealed by the thick trees around them. The sky above was mostly clear, albeit for a few clouds floating by. Releasing Severus gently, Potter did his rounds to place wards around the area to conceal them as much as possible away from any potentially prying eyes. Meanwhile, Severus began setting up his workspace. It wasn't complicated and didn't require many objects. Potter pulled out five large selenite rods from the bag and place them within the ground in a circle leaving Severus room in the center for where he will be stationed.

According to the text, the selenite will act as a protective barrier upon commencement of the first incantation, allowing safe space for the caster. As the first stage is likely to disrupt the curse, it will prevent it from being released prematurely out into the open and redirect it to the chosen vessel instead. The curse itself is not meant to be removed completely upon the first stage, but merely attempt to gradually shift it. The incantation is performed in stages to preserve the health of the host. Thus, the selenite cage will make sure it is contained and not accidentally escape into the next living thing.

Severus retrieved a small silver bowl and placed it to his left, with a small white candle to his right. The book lay open and ready upon the first page, with the small tear-drop shaped vial of the protective potion wedged in the center of the book. Severus pulled off his traveling cloak and cast it aside, as he knelt down in the center of the selenite ring.

"Please don't tell me you left the vessel behind?" Potter broke the silence.

Retrieving his wand, Severus waved it gently to his side, when an object began to form in front of the book in a smoky apparition.

It was his ornate silver Death Eater mask.

Severus looked to Potter, who merely looked speechless, "Rather poetic, don't you agree?"

The Gryffindor nodded in surprise, "Uh, yeah. "

"Once the curse is completely removed, then I can bury it, and never lay eyes on it again, "Severus looked at the book before him, avoiding the Gryffindor's gaze, "Potter, you are to sit behind me a distance away. Keep your eyes _averted_ , and I will inform you once it is complete. We pack at first light in approximately five hours' time, which concludes the first phase."

"Okay, but – "

"– _Allow_ me to finish, Potter, "Severus turned to look at Potter directly, in all seriousness, "I do not know what will happen, but by any means, do _not_ intervene at any cost. Whatever ensues, you _must_ allow it to continue. I cannot have you _unnecessarily_ at risk. Even if that means departing whilst I finish, then I encourage you to do just that if you are unable to tolerate it. I will understand. For once – _Harry_ – Please _listen_ to me."

Potter didn't say a thing. Instead, the Gryffindor nodded.

"…Now, go, "Severus' voice dropped to a whisper, fully reading the boy's worried expression as he turned to walk away.

Once the boy had turned away, Severus shifted into a more comfortable position. They were going to be here for a while. It was a small blessing that sunrise was earlier, given their recent transition to summer, otherwise, he would become far too impatient. He withdrew his wand and filled up the bowl with water and lit the candle. Much to his relief, there were no magical hiccups this time.

Sitting up tall, he flourished his wand, " _Claustrum initium_ ". The selenite crystals which surrounded him glowed brightly, as strands of white light connected them together. Nothing could penetrate it. Like an ethereal spider web, it created a cage of sorts, keeping Severus safe within.

Or locked away.

Amongst the looming dread now, and with a trembling hand, he picked up the vial of the potion that will initiate this ritual. It was no surprise that he was familiar to what was contained in such a brew, but he was not as prepared for the purging effects that such a potion will create. Drawing in a deep breath, he exhaled calmly and slowly, in his bid to settle his nerves. Once he could wait no longer, he downed the thick crimson potion in one go, consuming every available drop. The potion itself even tasted like blood, and that itself was nauseating. The potion immediately gave him a warming effect throughout his body, but it was not a pleasant experience. The warming gradually turned to a burning sensation, and he knew immediately, that there was no turning back.

Leaning forward, Severus began to chant the first inscription, " _De caelo superiore…De tellure inferno…Ab igne dextero…Ab aqua sinistra…Quod incepimus conficiemus…Quocumque sequenter venit_ …" Upon each line of text, the bowl of water beside him began to ripple, like it was being hit with invisible rain. The candle flame on his opposite side extended upwards above him like a fiery rope and flickered for a few moments until it reverted back to its usual harmless flame.

Severus flipped the next page, where the next incantation lay. This was the one that was likely to cause him problems, and he was to chant this one, three times. He dreaded this one, but there was no going back now. He needed to finish what he started.

He drew another deep breath, ignoring the burning sensation radiating to his fingertips, " _Ex tenebris in lucem ducar? …Constitui pergere. Non mihi solum_ …" His stomach heaved, but he pushed through and continued the text, "… _Aegroto dum anima est, spes est…Dum spiro, spero..."_ He felt the burning slowly advanced up to his throat, but still, he pushed through, "… _Libera ego primum metu mortis...Hac vita aut proxima_ …" His eyes began to prick with a horrible burning, and his vision began to distort slightly. He was still able to read the text, but everything else around him began to spin. The Death Eater mask before him started to glow a shimmering white. The object was being primed to become a vessel.

The moonlight above further distorted his vision, and he began to see strange shadows casting themselves within his line of sight on the forest floor. He wasn't entirely sure if it was the trickery of the light, or the spell itself was doing something to him. He still needed to chant that text a further two more times, but something in his mind screamed. A terrible, high pitched scream wailed within his head, causing him to shut his eyes. That scream was met with another, and another…until a chorus of unknown voices cried out within his mind. He could not distinguish them.

Severus felt a tug at his neck. He knew it wasn't Potter because the selenite cage would have kept him out. He opened his burning eyes, but not a soul was there. He frowned, as a sense of strange stillness overcame him momentarily. But as he leaned forward to chant the text again, that tug progressed into a mild stinging within his neck, causing his eyes to water.

Yet, he persisted and spoke with a controlled calmness, " _Ex tenebris in lucem ducar? …Constitui pergere. Non mihi solum_ …" The stinging began to elevate once again, as he felt the curse shift within him. The stinging turned to severe burning, causing Severus to pause for a few moments to compose himself, _"…Aegroto dum anima est, spes est…Dum spiro, spero…"_ Severus lurched forward suddenly, feeling as if someone had slashed him across the neck again. The pain was becoming too intense, and the cries within his mind were making it far difficult for him to focus. His vision continued to spin, and through irregular, panting breaths, he continued, "… _Libera ego primum metu mortis…Hac vita aut proxima…"_

Suddenly, he felt a terrible ripping sensation from the wound in his neck, causing Severus to let out a horrible cry out in pain. The force of the sensation caused him to lean forward, supporting himself with trembling hands. Through his blurred vision, he watched as his silver mask continued to glow. The tearing sensation in his neck caused his eyes to further water, as he struggled to endure the pain which was more than he'd ever felt before. This felt far worse than the Cruciatus curse. He could practically _feel_ the curse being ripped away from him.

Severus clutched his face with his hands, as the voices ran rampant through his mind. They were slowly being reduced from senseless wailing, but he could now start to differentiate them. One of them was yelling at him. Severus opened his eyes, feeling as if they were there. But through his distorted vision, he could see a shadow of a figure, looming over him.

_"You filthy, worthless fool!"_

"…F-Father?"

_"You disgust me, Severus. What good are you?!"_ A sound of a cracking belt could be heard, causing Severus to immediately flinch, expecting some kind of impact. But none came.

"No, don't hit me – "

_"No wonder your mother took her own life. She couldn't deal with you!"_

"No…That's not true…It was you…"

The horrible sound crackled again, further causing Severus to flinch. _Father, go away! It was not my fault. She took her own life because of you, not me…_ Severus felt a tear fall down his face, but he hastily brushed it away, not wanting his father, or what appeared to be him, to have the satisfaction of his defeat. _It's this blasted curse. A vision. It's taunting me…It knows it's being attacked, so it's giving me these hallucinations as a defense mechanism…Don't believe them…_

_"How could anyone ever love a hopeless case like yourself?"_

"Father… _please_ …" Another tear fell. How could he not?

_"We should have just sent you away. The sight of you sickens me."_

_Come on, Severus. One more chant of the verse and this will all be over soon._ Severus tried his best to deter the hallucinating from his mind, but his father was still standing over him, threatening him in the ways he remembered clearly. An imaginary sound of his belt still rang through his mind, as he struggled to focus on the text in front of him. It was like a bad dream.

" _You don't deserve life, Severus. You are no son of mine_ – "

Severus shook his head wildly, determined to shake the man's voice away. But he will not leave.

"Keep going, sir, you're almost done…" It was Potter's voice this time. He wasn't sure if he was really there, or it was the hallucinations playing tricks on him still, but it was enough to bring his mind back to the present, "…One more time…" He could sense the wavering panic in the Gryffindor's voice. How much of that had he heard?

Gritting his teeth through the intense pain again, he resumed, " _Ex tenebris in lucem ducar? …Constitui pergere…Non mihi solum…"_ He felt a stabbing pain in his neck, recoiling once more from its rising intensity, "… _Aegroto dum anima est, spes est…Dum spiro, spero…"_ He gasped for breath and managed to choke out the last few lines, _"…Libera ego primum metu mortis…Hac vita aut proxima..._ "

The pain he felt next was excruciating. It felt like being skinned alive. The pain itself numbed his entire body, and at that point, he didn't care how much he yelled out in agony. He knew it was the curse being magically poked and prodded, and it was retaliating. Severus felt himself keel over to the floor, writhing in pain as the curse took him in a chokehold. There was nothing he could do. The Death Eater Mask before him continued to glow, and he could see wisps of black smoke wafting towards it, protruding from his neck. Occasionally the selenite cage would glow like a flickering light. The curse itself had no choice but to flee towards the chosen vessel.

" _Ahh, Severusss_ …"

Severus tensed at the new voice.

_"You cower, just like the others. Had I known you were so fearful of death, I would have taken you out of your misery a long time ago."_

"…My Lord?"

_"Traitors have no place within our midst."_

Severus tensed, expecting the familiar round of Crucio. The wait for it was almost as agonising as the curse itself. But like the belt, nothing happened. The hallucinations were playing tricks on him. Taunting him mercilessly. And yet he could hear Nagini around him, echoes of her forked tongued hissed, ready for another round to kill…Severus felt shivers down his spine. _No, not again…please…_ His eyes grew wide in fear.

_"What a pity. You could have been so much more. Was that filthy Muggleborn you lusted over, really worth it, Severus?"_

Severus shook his head, "No! You wouldn't understand…"

_"Understand what, Severus? Love? That sickening, weak emotion you favored, over power? Pathetic. And where did love get you? You still are…nothing."_

"It's not weak! I'm not – "

_"Lily is dead, by no other fault but your own. It was your desire to eavesdrop on Albus Dumbledore that night, was it not? You could have fled. It was you who sealed her fate, Severus. You mustn't forget your hand in this. "_

"NO!"

_"And you begged me to spare her? How very desperate of you."_

"She didn't deserve to die…She didn't…" Severus' face twisted in horror, as he tried his best to pull that horrible memory from his mind. It was no use. The memory was so clear within his mind, that it felt like it happened only recently. He allowed another tear to fall. Nagini was still around him, somewhere…The snake hissed again as if she was right beside him. His body tensed again as he heard every slither of voice from the snake, he feared, anticipating its attack again.

The curse began to claw at his wound, further pulling his mind in a tangent. He couldn't focus. He was right. It was his fault. Everything that happened, was his fault…The hallucination before him began to distort once again, but Severus remained laying on the forest floor, writhing from the pain in his neck. He couldn't take this anymore. He wanted this to be over.

"It's my fault…It's _all_ my fault…" A sob escaped from Severus' lips, for he could no longer contain it, "I caused it…I caused it all…What good am I? Albus, you should have just killed me… _Please_ …I can't bear it any longer…"

Between Severus' suffering, he could have sworn he heard someone sniffle behind him. His mind was far too much of a mess to register anything else, and he could barely notice if the boy were even still there. Potter shouldn't have stayed. What had he heard? He really didn't want to find out.

"…I shouldn't be here…I should be _dead_ …"

Severus had lost all concept of time. How long had he been out here? He wasn't sure. With tearful eyes, he looked at the sky above. The night was lifting, but the sun still could not be found. Dawn was drawing near, and yet the spell was still tearing him from the inside. Everything hurt. And not just the curse latching onto him, but his heart hurt. So very much.

He heard a shuffle behind him. Severus' eyes widened and responded with shakiness in his voice that he could not prevent, " _Potter_! Stop where you are! Keep your eyes averted! Don't you dare turn around -"

"I-I know, sir. I'm not looking, "Potter sounded upset, as his voice trembled with those last few words, "…It's almost over. I'm right here."

Severus buried his head in his hands. He did feel some measure of relief that he was here. Or someone was, at least. Although he told the boy he was welcome to leave, it was admittedly, a test to see if he did. When he realised that the Gryffindor hadn't left his side, another few tears fell down his stricken face. Furthermore, the spell did work in his favor and the boy was unable to see his face. Severus would never purposely allow his vulnerability to show like this. The only other person who did was Albus on the night that Lily died. But this night contained such a rawness within his soul, that he wouldn't openly display to anyone. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't contain it any longer.

Everything just seemed to crumble all at once.

"Sir…" Potter lowered his voice, as it echoed from behind him, "No one could have known what was going to happen. You can't keep carrying that guilt forever. Remember what I told you a few days ago? You are not that person anymore."

"I _failed_ , Potter. I failed everyone."

"No, you didn't. I'm here, aren't I? If you failed, I wouldn't be here."

"You couldn't begin to understand my predicament. I won't waste my breath explaining it to you."

"…Then, don't. You can't change what happened."

The pair sat in silence, hearing the slight rustling of the trees around them. Severus glanced down at the silver mask, which continued to glow. He suspected once the time was up, that it would cease that effect. Until then, it was a waiting game. The pain within his neck continued to burn, causing him to wince and clench his jaw to try and mask that pain, but it didn't seem to do much good.

Severus noticed the boy hadn't moved from his spot, "You should have left, Potter. Why didn't you leave?"

"Because I told you I wouldn't."

Severus drew in a wary breath, "You are not to disclose what you heard tonight, to _anyone_ else, do you hear me?"

"I won't do such a thing. Do you _really_ think I would?"

There was a pause. Maybe there was a time when he believed that he would, without a doubt. Before…everything. Now, no, he really didn't think so, but it was difficult to put trust in anyone over a simple request. He knew that the Potter patriarch would have loved that opportunity to tell the entire student body personal things such as that. Even though he knew Potter here was really not like his father, he was worried that he may one day slip up. Just like Severus had done when he accidentally hit him.

Severus glanced up into the distance to find the first rays of light peaking through the horizon. He sat there unmoving, as he watched the new light of the day slowly wash over them both. Exhausted, Severus leaned over and extinguished the flame from the candle, ending the first phase. He ushered the spell to bring down the selenite cage, and sat there for several moments, not wanting to move from his spot as he observed the glow of the mask slowly fade. Severus closed his eyes. He heard a shift beside him and immediately felt the Gryffindor drop beside him so that they were almost shoulder to shoulder.

Admittedly, it was a small comfort for Severus. Knowing that someone was there. Even if it was the Chosen One, it still caught him by surprise. He didn't deserve anyone.

He couldn't help but feel so unbearably wounded by the words of his father and the Dark Lord, despite them being hallucinations. But how far different could that have been? Both already saw so little of him. His father was right. Who could love a hopeless case like he was? Who could ever love someone like Severus?

"I'm sorry. I didn't intend to put you through that…"

Severus sighed, "I _don't_ require your pity, Potter."

"I never said I did, sir. Despite what you may think, I actually _do_ care."

_As do I._ But he couldn't tell him that, could he? How could he even begin to share that with him? Within his absolute horror, Severus began to tear up again, still reeling from the emotional hurdles he had to jump through earlier. He turned away from the Gryffindor, further ashamed of himself.

It's too late. He got too close to the boy. It was never supposed to be like this. He was never supposed to care. Not like this…

"You'll find peace again. Someday. Even despite everything. Just know that I don't _hate_ you, "Potter was sincere. There was no mistaking that. It was hard to believe how they both ended up where they were in that moment. Two damaged souls sitting together, watching the sun start to rise. Potter, however, continued, "…And you've stopped hating me, too. I can tell, and I'm not going to hold that against you. Then, let that be your way forward."

_Hmpf. Isn't that what Albus said to me on the night Lily died?_ He couldn't be sure, but those words seemed to echo within his mind as if he'd heard them before.

"…I ceased hating you a long time ago, Potter. Ever since I saw how your _wretched_ relatives mistreated you, during our Occlumency lessons…I blamed myself _severely_ for it. However, I couldn't allow myself to get close to anyone because of my role as a… _triple_ -agent. It was merely impossible for me to do so. Becoming attached would have been a death sentence. Not just on my part, but for those…" Severus lowered his head, "…I had to play my part effectively."

"Well, I say it's about time we put our past disagreements aside. _Properly_ this time. And we can both move forward, "Potter reassured.

Severus turned away from the Gryffindor and reached into his robe pocket. It was then that he pulled out the torn photo and half letter of Lily that he so carelessly stole just after Albus' death. With a whisper, he extended the items to Potter beside him, "…They were never mine to take."

Potter blinked at the objects within his hands, "Wh- "

"- _Just_ …take them. "

"Are you sure?"

Severus nodded, "Yes."

Potter gently retrieved them from his trembling hands, "Thank you…That, means a lot," The Gryffindor looked grateful, "Here, let's get you back home – "

_…Home_ …It has been his home recently, but he had no place else to go.

Finally composing himself, Severus closed up the book and dissipated the silver mask. He felt trickles of blood down his neck, soaking his chest, causing him to sigh in frustration. Just another thing to deal with. He tried to stand on his feet, but the onslaught of pain from the retaliation of the curse weakened him severely; his energy clearly diminished. Potter didn't even have to ask, as he immediately helped him to his feet the same way they arrived, slipping to his side, to support the damaged man.

They made their way back to Grimmauld Place without another word, and Potter assisted him to his quarters.

But for the first time in Severus' life, he finally realised he was no longer alone.

* * *

**FOOTNOTE:**

_De caelo superiore._

_De tellure inferno._

_Ab igne dextero._

_Ab aqua sinistra._

_Quod incepimus conficiemus_

_Quocumque sequenter venit_

By the Sky above.

By the Earth below.

By Fire to my right.

By Water to my left.

What we have begun we shall finish

To whatever comes next.

* * *

_Ex tenebris in lucem ducar?_

_Cōnstituī pergere. Non mihi solum_

_Aegroto dum anima est, spes est._

_Dum spiro, spero._

_Libera ego primum metu mortis._

_Hāc vītā aut proximā._

May I be led from the shadows to the light?

I have chosen to go on. Not for myself, alone.

As long as there is life, there is hope.

As long as I breathe, I hope.

Free myself first from fear of death.

In this life, or the next.


	36. A Time for Healing

* * *

**NOTE:** Thank you all for your kind reviews/kudos. You guys rock! Your comments make me smile, and I really hope you still continue this journey with me. Here's a slightly more subdued Chapter, until things pick up again very soon.

There are some cool little moments in this one and a funny scene towards the end which I couldn't resist writing. I had to give you guys some kind of reprieve after the previous heavy chapter +_+ Enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER 36: A Time for Healing

Harry could not stop thinking about the events that transpired that night. Once he arrived home safely with Snape and assisted him with the potions he could now resume, he retreated back to his own room and sat on the edge of the bed in deep thought. Ron and Hermione were home waiting for him, but he didn't even have the willpower to usher a single word except for a single helpless look that told them more than they needed to know.

He felt terrible. What Snape assumed as pity; it definitely wasn't.

Harry wished that there was a better way. What he saw – well, _heard_ – was enough to freak him out. He realised now why no one was meant to be present for such a spell. To witness and hear the subject in torment and suffering, was not what Harry expected. Echoes of the man he knew with his usual controlled expression, was succumbed to unimaginable pain and whatever else he was seeing. Visions? Hallucinations? He wasn't entirely sure, but they were most certainly giving Snape further grief.

But that wasn't what had Harry shocked to his core. Severus Snape broke down. He didn't have to see the man, to know that he was crying. That thought alone pulled at Harry's heart. Aside from seeing the man in deep despair in one of his memories, never did he actually dare to witness such a thing himself. Suddenly Harry didn't care much for his own shame of weeping in front of him several days ago, but this…this was different. How does one help a man like Snape?

Harry couldn't help but cry when he heard Severus' pleading and begging for death. Hearing the man struggle like that, was simply too much for him to deal with. It was horrible and heartbreaking.

An armored man usually so fortified and unbreakable, began to slowly disintegrate. One by one, pieces of his armor began to fall away, and Harry was there to witness it.

Harry spent a little too much time staring upon the photo Snape had given him. He since repaired it to its completed state with the other half, and he was even more mesmerized by the now-completed photo of his parents and himself as a baby. It was a small comfort but meant so much to him. Although, he was more shocked that it was Snape's decision to return it to him. He did feel like he was taking something so precious from the man, but he was right – it was never his to take. He wasn't mad at him. After all, it was finally returned.

Eventually, Harry allowed himself to finally drift off to sleep, hoping above all else, he could have a peaceful night without his own nightmares.

He must have slept for far too long because he heard the distinguishable creek from his door and saw the silhouette of Hermione and Ron slowly enter his room. Harry shuffled in bed and leaned over to place his glasses onto his face, finally gaining a clearer view of his friends. Ron cautiously stayed by the door, as Hermione approached him, and sat on the edge of his bed once she realised that he was awake.

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione was deeply concerned.

Harry simply stared at her in defeat and hopelessness.

"What _happened_ last night? You had as worried when you didn't say anything…"

Harry was saddened, "I don't really want to talk about it."

Hermione exchanged worried glances with Ron, and quickly turned her attention back to Harry, "…Did it work?"

"Given how horrible it was, I sure hope it did, "Harry swung his legs off the side of the bed, and stared at the floor, still trying to come to terms with what he experienced.

Ron walked closer to the bed, and sat down beside Hermione, "I'm sure he can handle it. If he can face Voldemort square in the face and lie to him, then this would have easy for him."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't wish _this_ on anyone, Ron…" Harry ran his hand through his unkempt hair, and looked at Hermione, "Why didn't you tell me what was going to happen? You and Snape seemed to have the same _damn_ understanding, and I didn't."

"Woah, hang on mate, don't blame this on her – "

Hermione looked shocked, as she placed a hand on Ron's knee to silence him, " _Harry_ – I _couldn't_ have been sure what was going to happen. Only the ingredients which would have counteracted for the purpose of – "

"- What? Making him lose his marbles? Was that even a part of the incantation, or just a _simple_ side-effect?" Harry was growing frustrated.

"It was _meant_ to happen. Did you not understand the _purpose_ of the incantation?"

Harry threw his hands in the air, "It was only supposed to shift the curse. What else could it have been?"

Hermione stared at Harry in disbelief, "Harry, the incantation works in _conjunction_ with the curse. The magic invoked, acts as…well, a judgement. Remember what Luna said about the moon's influence? The spell itself, works as a…magical purge, for lack of better term."

"…Judgement?" Ron raised his eyebrow.

Hermione nodded, "The spell calls upon magic of a higher power to _judge_ the individual until it deems it worthy of life or death. Each vision – or _hallucination_ , or rather – is key in that decision-making. Once it concludes them worthy of life, the curse removal would be successful. If not, the curse will run its course as intended. As, well…punishment."

Harry looked confused, "So how are they judged? On history, or choices? Because _neither_ of those are going to work in his favor, so it'll doom him for sure. How – "

"Harry, I _really_ don't know. Surely it won't judge on past choices alone. Because in all honesty, we'd all be in trouble, "Hermione sharply inhaled, "The point is, it must consider his choices now in the present, rather than past choices. His will to live _must_ be a crucial factor. He must be hanging on because if he didn't, that spell would have deemed him unworthy. He's trying."

"I-I can't subject him to that again – "Harry was exasperated. It was torture. Actual torture and he felt bad about it.

"Blimey. It's no wonder no one bothers with a spell like that anymore, "Ron shook his head, with a look of disapproval, "It sounds brutal."

Harry crinkled his brow in worry, "…I suppose he knew what he was getting himself into. "

Hermione was visibly upset, "I'm _sorry_ I couldn't tell you. Would you have wanted to proceed with it if you knew?"

"I don't think it matters now, does it? It's up to Snape now. I've given him reasons to…keep going. The rest is up to him now, "Harry tapped his hands nervously against his leg, yet again, feeling useless.

"Not necessarily, "Hermione's voice wavered, "He's here because you _encouraged_ him to. He's gradually realising that he doesn't have to pretend to be someone else now. You're helping him see that."

"Well, surviving the first phase of the incantation says a lot, doesn't it? He must have done _something_ right, "Ron interjected.

Harry raised his eyebrow, "And here I thought you _still_ detested him."

Ron shrugged, "Oh, I still do. But I also see that he is, well…changing? He's still bitter and infuriating, but your influence on him recently has seemed to bring out, something else within him. Something _we've_ never seen. "

Hermione nodded in agreement, "He's not wrong. Not that I fancy comparing both, but Harry, you also did the same with Sirius. He spent twelve years locked up alone for a crime he _didn't_ commit, and knowing you were in his life after he escaped, made him… _softer_. Professor Snape may never fully get over what happened to him, but I'm sure he realises now that reconciliation can heal you both."

Ron snorted, "Don't let Snape hear you say that."

"What is he going to do? Take off house points?" Harry shrugged. _Will he ever even want to return to Hogwarts?_

Harry sighed heavily.

Ron stood up from the bed, "I'm going downstairs. Kreacher is making lunch."

"You know, I _really_ think you should free Kreacher, Harry, "Hermione said, disapprovingly.

"I offered it to him, but he wants to stay. What else was I going to do? Besides, this is still Order headquarters. Still might be risky," Harry responded, standing up to join Ron.

Hermione flicked her hair over her shoulders, irked by the comment, as she followed the other two out of the room. The trio slowly made their way downstairs, where they were overwhelmed with pleasant smells of fresh vegetable pasties and shepherd's pie wafting throughout Grimmauld Place. Harry's stomach grumbled. He barely remembered the last thing he ate. He vaguely recalled eating half of his pancakes the previous morning, but due to the nervousness the rest of that day, likely didn't attempt to eat anything else. While Hermione and Ron continued to the kitchen, Harry decided to make a quick stop to check up on Snape. It didn't hurt to check, consider how things turned out for him overnight. Now that he was back using proper potions to manage his symptoms, at least it will be less likely to dampen his mood. Besides, he also realised he hadn't eaten anything for two days.

Harry gently knocked on Snape's bedroom door, and when he heard a disapproving grumble on the other end, he pushed open the door to peek his head inside. Snape wasn't in bed, or rather, sitting at the study desk scribbling away on a piece of parchment with his quill. He didn't look up when Harry entered.

"Just wanted to let you know that there is lunch downstairs. You are more than welcome to join us. Otherwise, I can get Kreacher to send something up – "

"I'll consider it, Potter. "

Harry paused for a few moments, before nodding, "Err, okay." He stood there for a little while longer expecting him to say something else, but he didn't. "Are you – "

This time, Snape stopped what he was doing and turned to glare at Harry, "- I said I'll consider it."

Taking that as a hint, Harry left, shutting the door gently behind him. He had an inkling that he didn't want to be bothered – well, _more_ so than usual – but given the events overnight, it was understandable. The man was often withdrawn and at this point, likely didn't want to face anybody else. Snape looked exhausted and wary. It was no wonder given the psychological torture he had to endure overnight.

Harry made his way down the stairs and finally entered the kitchen, noticing Ron already tucking into the food spread on the table. Harry slid into the chair across from Ron in the center of the table and immediately reached for the pitcher of juice in front of him. He was almost tempted to go straight for the bread and butter pudding first, but the pasties looked incredibly delicious.

Harry began to help himself to the food, and hastily bit down on a pasty, "So, heard much from the rest of the DA?"

Ron shook his head, "Nah. Well, except for Angelina. She and George are kind of a thing now."

"I knew that already. "

Ron's eyebrows were raised to his hairline, "You know? _How_? I only just found out!"

"Honestly, Ron – "Hermione tried to stifle a laugh, "You're a little slow."

"You too? Well, it's not exactly at the forefront of my mind these days, you know."

"George told me about it the other day when I went to see Ginny. He says they aren't officially together, "Harry scooped up a serving of Sheppard's pie, and added it to his plate, "She's been there for him since…losing Fred. I can't imagine him rushing into it."

"Why am I _always_ the last to know these things?" Ron spoke, a little gloomily upon the mention of Fred.

"Maybe because you've been avoiding actually talking to him?" Hermione added, refilling her goblet with juice. The three of them fell silent.

Harry glanced at Ron, as his heart sunk, "Ron – "

He noticed Ron looked rather miserable all of a sudden and watched as he placed down his cutlery. The mood had suddenly turned grim, and Harry felt terrible that he never asked him about how he was dealing with everything. Ron had been so focused with Hermione and helping Harry with Snape's situation, that he didn't even stop to consider how one of his best mates was feeling.

Harry felt like an absolute idiot.

Ron's eyes shifted to each of them, as he lowered his head, "What do I even say to him? We lost our brother a month ago. _And_ we nearly lost Ginny. Nothing I say will make a _bloody_ difference. Our family will never be the same again."

Hermione placed her hand on Ron's, now upset, "George needs you too, Ron. You _need_ each other, especially now. Just…reach out to him. _Please_."

"He'll appreciate you being there, Ron. Just don't keep avoiding him. You have to face him at some point, "Harry offered, but really didn't know what else to say.

Ron frowned, "Yeah, easy for you to say. _You_ don't have siblings."

"RON!" Hermione gasped.

Ron pulled his arm away from Hermione, looking hurt. "George isn't the _only_ one struggling. Being home at the Burrow makes me depressed. Mum still cries half the time, and I haven't got a clue what to bloody do – Ginny is usually with her. Dad has been working endlessly, which is his way of coping. Same with Percy. Bill and Charlie tend to disappear, and how come they don't get scolded for it?!"

"Ronald, please…"

"What – else – do – I - do?!" Ron finally buried his head in his hands.

Hermione looked stricken, as she glanced at Harry helplessly. She threw her arm around Ron's shoulders and held him for a few moments. Harry glanced away, not wanting to intrude on their little moment of intimacy. He listened as Hermione murmured words of comfort to him.

Yeah, Harry definitely felt like an idiot.

Lowering his voice, Harry looked at his friend sympathetically, "Ron, I know I could never fully understand, but…Hermione's right. You can't keep avoiding him. Right now, George probably thinks everyone has abandoned him because he knows everyone is walking on eggshells around him."

Head still buried in his hands, Ron nodded and responded with a muffled voice, "What do I even say to him?"

"Just _be_ with him, Ron. Everyone grieves in different ways, and I know you haven't really talked about it at all since…" Hermione started to become teary-eyed, "…Just, reach out to him."

Ron slowly raised his head, and Harry could see that his eyes were red. "…I...I just _really_ miss Fred."

"…We miss him, too, "Hermione spoke softly, "W-would you like me to go with you?" Ron looked helplessly at Hermione, and simply nodded without a word. She glanced over at Harry.

Harry gently shook his head, "You guys can go. It wouldn't do you any good if I were there. I'll be fine here… "He rose up from the table and began to put some lunch together for Snape upstairs, who obviously didn't feel up to joining them. He withdrew his wand and placed a warming charm on the food. He nudged his head upwards. "I don't want to return one day and find him sprawled on the floor again. He can't – "

Hermione frowned, "- He can't, what?"

_…Right. The others don't know about his magic. Nope, let's keep between Snape and I for now._

He shook his head, "Nothing, it's fine. "

Harry picked up the tray of food and made his way upstairs to deliver the meal to Snape, hoping he was at least well enough to eat something. There was no point accompanying Ron and Hermione, as it wasn't really his place to go with them. A part of him felt awkward enough, and there wasn't a person Harry knew who wasn't grieving. Some could hide it well, others could not. And some never really stop grieving, as with the man occupying the bedroom on the second floor. He heard the front door close and knew that both of his best friends had left. As he reached Snape's door, he fumbled with the tray about to knock, but Snape bet him to it and pierced the silence with his deep, reverberating voice.

"You may enter – "

Harry opened the door and slipped inside the surprisingly sun-lit room, and placed the tray of food beside Snape, who was still scribbling away at his desk, "…I figured you'd be hungry."

Snape looked up from the parchment to glance at the food, eyeing it curiously, "Thank you, Potter."

"You know you can stop calling me _Potter_. We're…not at Hogwarts anymore," Potter responded calmly, as he took a perch in the spare seat beside him, "I know you've said my first name a few times to get my attention, but…why do it?"

Snape pursed his lips, thoughtfully, "Because there is a…sense of attachment with the use of a first name."

"That's not always a bad thing, is it?"

"Attachment would have made my job far more difficult, Potter. I had to be distant. You know that. "

"Yeah, but that was _then_. You're _not_ working for him anymore, "Harry tilted his head, observing the man carefully.

Snape paused, furrowing his brow as he stopped writing. Harry couldn't quite notice what the man was working on, but he could see multiple rolls of used parchment piled together on the opposite side of the desk. He hesitated, placing the quill back on its holder, and turned to face the Gryffindor as he leaned back in his chair. It was the first time since Harry had really seen his face since the commencement of the incantation. He looked tired – which was really nothing new. But it was not just a physical kind of tired, but an emotional one. He was wary and likely still dealing with what he experienced the previous night. It wasn't something you could not easily erase from your mind, and Snape was likely still ashamed of himself from his break-down that neither of them had predicted would happen.

The Slytherin's dark eyes glistened, as his voice trembled ever so subtly, "Is that…what you prefer?"

Harry nodded, meeting the man's gaze with a small smile, "That would be great, sir. I mean, if you still feel awkward about it around the others, you can still call me Potter if that makes you _feel_ better. But Harry would be fine by me."

"Very well… _Harry_ , "The corner of Snape's mouth twitched into a subtle smile. _Still a work in progress, "_ I gather within these _faltering_ formalities, you expect to have the courtesy extended?"

Harry shrugged, rather sheepish, "Well, until you get sick of me calling you _sir_ or _Snape_ …I guess _Professor_ doesn't _really_ still imply, does it?"

Snape snorted lightly, "I suppose it doesn't. Though, I am technically still your mentor. In a sense."

"So, do you _really_ oppose me calling you…Severus?" Harry folded his arms over his chest, unsure of how amused or serious he should be about this discussion. Trust often does walk a fine line, "I figured it was time we, oh I dunno…Move past all that."

Snape tilted his head towards Harry, as his eyes softened, "Surely, it couldn't hurt." He drew in a deep breath, "Just…keep that between us. As of what you may have heard last night, or seen…"

Harry immediately shook his head, "I _won't_ tell anyone. You'd be surprised by the things I _don't_ share with the others."

Snape raised his eyebrow, "Is that so? And here I thought Gryffindor's are usually so eager to spill their secrets."

" _Definitely_ not this Gryffindor, "Harry shook his head again, "Besides, I figured it'll give you a chance to…move on. From everything."

Something flashed within the man's onyx eyes and Harry couldn't quite place it. He seemed taken aback, but his stoic expression masked anything that Harry could potentially uncover. He was good, he'd give him that. Although he couldn't help but feel the man struggle immensely with displaying his own emotions to others, hence why others would have been so easy to perceive him as heartless. Harry knew, more than anyone, the man was far from that. Snape still felt vulnerable, and that showing his emotions were weak…But to Harry, they really weren't. There was an admirable quality in the man that Harry had come to know recently, and he had every respect for him trying to overcome all that he had endured. All those years of being seemingly emotionally rigid and withdrawn now gave him a chance to attempt to be relieved from that. But Harry could also see something else within him - a sense of calmness now. Perhaps his own break-down came at a sense of release along with the tears he thought he could hide from him. Harry may not have seen them all fall, but he knew…He knew that they were released like floodgates. And oddly, it further connected them both.

It would have been liberating for him, to finally… _feel_.

Snape looked grateful. Genuinely grateful, which didn't appear subtle this time.

Harry gently cleared his throat, "I was thinking – "

"Another one of your _bright_ ideas?" Snape couldn't resist a smirk.

Harry chuckled, "Just hear me out." _Alright, here goes nothing,_ "So, I had an idea, if you wanted to…Go with me to see my parents."

The color seemed to drain from Snape's face, as he drew in a sharp controlled breath. He shook his head, "It would not be appropriate for me to be there. _Surely_ you – "

"- I _know_ you may not want to go. But it's not for my benefit, but…more for yours, "Harry bit his lip, watching the uncertainty on the man's face, "I think it might actually be _good_ for you to, well…talk to them."

Snape looked slightly upset, "I beg to differ. My presence would…Taint your mother's memory. I cannot be there."

"You are welcome to go without me there if it helps. You _have_ my permission."

Snape looked away and focused his gaze upon the fawn and black colored quill in front of him. "It will be most _unwise_ …"

"I just thought it might help. You know, to talk it out. To both of them. Think of it as closure."

"I'm not a _ghost_ with unfinished business, Po - _Harry_ , "Snape clenched his jaw, as he looked back upon Harry's pleading face. _Well, it wasn't that far from the truth, was it?_

"I'm not saying you are, but there are some things you _have_ to let go of. For you to move on, "Harry lowered his head, "Look, I mean no disrespect or anything. You can take the Cloak with you if you choose to go. The offer is there."

"Do not _dare_ patronize me, "Snape glared at Harry darkly, as he spoke softly. It was slightly unsettling.

Harry shook his head, with pleading eyes, "I'm _not_. Just, _please_ consider it?"

Snape leaned forward, eyes slightly widened, "What could I _possibly_ say? It won't _fix_ anything!"

Harry paused to look upon the man who seemed to falter before him. He didn't mean to agitate him, and he realised it was a sensitive topic, but he meant well. Genuinely. He really wanted Snape to let go of those troubles, even as a bit of a release. To hold onto the same pain for almost eighteen years had definitely taken its toll on him, and it was obvious that he had difficulty letting go. He didn't blame him of course. When you indirectly cause the death of someone you care about, of course, one will never completely get over it. Harry blamed himself for a lot of the deaths that had happened over the course of his life – Cedric and Sirius being some of many. But eventually, that grief lessens its chokehold, and it becomes less painful. It won't ever disappear, but letting some things go makes it easier to deal with.

"My parents are _dead_. They won't be able to respond, but…" Harry sighed deeply, "…Maybe they'll be able to hear you. With whatever kind of afterlife there is for wizards."

Snape flinched at the blunt remark, as he ran his hand down his pallid face, "This is _absurd_."

"The first time I spoke to my parents was through a _damn_ mirror when I was eleven. _You_ saw that memory. How's that for absurdity?"

"Enough."

But Harry stubbornly continued, "If I could do that, then _you_ can talk to their graves – "

"- _Enough_!" Snape seemed to be trembling slightly, as he continued to stare at the Gryffindor with a warned finality.

Harry must have gone too far because he closed his mouth mid-speech and hung his head. He hoped a little too hard this time, and by the man's reaction before him, maybe it was a bad idea. They both sat in almost deafening silence, as Snape was left seething and breathing heavily. He watched as the Slytherin suddenly clutched the edge of the desk and leaned forward looking several shades paler and wincing as if he was stung by something sharp. Snape shut his eyes tightly. Unsure of what he needed, Harry bolted from his chair and dashed to the bedside table, scrambling to collect an assortment of ready-made potions. He set them down on the desk in front of Snape.

"…W-what do you need?"

Snape couldn't get the words out, as he clasped the sides of the table tightly causing his knuckles to go white. The man grimaced painfully.

 _Pain it is, then._ In his own panic, Harry quickly uncorked the analgesic potion, and grabbed Snape's trembling hand to place the vial within his palm, "Here…Take this for the pain…"

Snape raised the vial to the lips and downed the concoction, accidentally spilling some down his robes in desperation. Harry hastily took the empty vial and waited until the potion took its effect. Snape was breathing heavily, as he clasped onto the table desperately once more.

 _Oh, this is bad. What the hell do I do?!_ Feeling rather useless himself, he did the unthinkable and placed a reassuring hand on Snape's upper back holding it firmly in place. More so that he didn't keel over in front of him, but it gave him vague recollections of that night in the potion's lab downstairs, where Snape did the same to him, to the shock of the both of them. Harry only hoped that a small bit of reassurance would help, even if it were only for a short while. Slowly and surely, the potion began to take effect, and Snape had managed to get his breathing under control. It took a little longer this time for that potion to work.

Harry was concerned, "…Looks like you'll need stronger potions."

Snape nodded, eyes still closed, as he still winced with the pain, "…It appears so." The man shakily reached up to his neck, and it was then Harry realised his wound was bleeding yet again. " _Bloody_ hell."

Snape gingerly rose from his chair, and stumbled towards the bed, with Harry cautiously trailing behind. He watched as the Slytherin lowered himself down on the edge of the bed and sat there for a few moments to further compose himself. He withdrew his wand and flourished it over his bedside table, but all but a few strings of wool appeared. Snape growled under his breath.

_Oh. Bandages._

Harry took out his own wand and conjured the bandages that Snape was trying to accomplish. He watched as he slowly unclasped some of the buttons of his usual suite, and gently peeled off the blood-soaked bandage. This situation was no longer unfamiliar to them, and Snape eventually felt a little more comfortable with the task at hand. He'd much prefer this way than being doted upon by multiple Healers every hour at St. Mungo's, and he'd rather perish than end up in there anyway. So stubbornly, Harry had to adapt to tackling the wound at Grimmauld Place, and away from prying eyes, or people that wanted him dead.

The wound itself was getting worse. It was already horribly large to start with, but over time the wound began to look more sickly as the poisonous remnants were essentially, eating away at his flesh. It was enough to cause Harry's stomach to lurch, and he was certain the portions of his lunch wouldn't hold for too long. The curse had grotesque complications. It was no wonder Snape had difficulty managing the pain. The blacked tendrils that Harry had seen a while ago around the wound, had now spread far worse than he feared. The curse had covered the entirety of one side of his neck and shoulder, while slowly edging down his pale chest. The bandage alone was larger than he remembered, and some tendrils could be seen inching up to his jawline. His hair, and liking for tall collars, were luckily able to conceal it. But regardless, it was not a pretty sight.

With Harry's assistance, they were able to patch it up as best they could, using a combination of a wound salve that Snape had created solely for this purpose, and several potions used to decrease the inflammatory symptoms.

"Thank you, Harry."

Harry smiled, hoping that would mean he can stop using _Potter_ for a while, "When you feel up to it, I'll help you brew something stronger."

"At this point, a few shots of firewhiskey might work wonders instead, "Snape shifted in discomfort.

"Well, when this is all dealt with, we'll go have a few rounds of firewhiskey to celebrate."

Snape snorted lightly, "If the curse doesn't kill me first. What else is there to celebrate?"

" _When_ you are cured, "Harry couldn't help but smirk, "And we can celebrate Vo… _snake_ face…being toasted to oblivion. Enticing enough?"

Snape's eyes widened upon Harry's blaspheme response to their old enemy, but soon altered as he looked at Harry with an odd triumphant gleam in his eye, "You have yourself a deal."

"I'll leave you to it…Severus, "There was an odd comfort in a first-name basis, and Harry was pleased that they could finally come to a point where they could both agree on that.

With a grin, Harry decided to leave Snape alone for some peace away from the teenager and made his way downstairs to the kitchen to make himself a mug of tea that Snape seemed to get him strangely addicted to. He had to wonder where the Slytherin was getting all of his herbal tea from as it seemed he had an endless supply of various assortment of them. After being a little too indecisive, he settled upon a comforting green tea and lemon blend, with a generous addition of honey, and made his way to the sitting room on the first floor. It was definitely a healthier alternative than relying on coffee to get him through the day.

Harry sat there awhile by himself and reveled in the silence that befell him. All that he could hear was the crackling fire beside him, which brought him a sense of warmth and comfort. Some time by himself was what he needed. After everything within the last few days regarding the Memorial and the first phase of the _Anathema_ _Excerptum_ spell, peace was what he needed. It was no wonder Snape was usually so antisocial – he didn't blame him at all. Being so focused on others takes a lot out of you, and it was always necessary to take time alone so one didn't go too stir-crazy.

Upon Hermione and Ron's departure, Harry finally decided to change the sitting room up a little. He didn't exactly have a repertoire of renovation spells, nor was transfiguration really a strong suit of his, but he managed to change up the dreary dark wallpaper into a welcoming maroon color with gold trimmings, which uplifted the room almost immediately. He didn't do much in a way with the portraits except for cleaning the caking dust, but he did change the couches into something far comfier and new. He was still tempted to hang Gryffindor banners to friendly-smite Snape, but he decided against that. This was a public space, and both would be sharing it, and he didn't think Snape would fancy sitting in a room filled with Gryffindor fanfare. He could almost picture the man in deep disgust. Smirking at the thought, the room already looked far better than it did. It was less dark and murky, and far brighter and comforting.

Harry decided to sneak out of Grimmauld Place and check out Honeyduke's Sweet Shop – which he had recently re-opened a few days prior according to the _Daily Prophet_ – and bought himself an impressive supply of unhealthy treats, along with a quick stopover at Zonko's. He didn't fancy sticking around for too long, so he dashed back from Hogsmeade quickly. The village itself was eerily quiet, and most of the other shop fronts were closed. There weren't many people around, and those that were seemed to too frightened to even leave their homes for a short amount of time. Hogsmeade had sadly lost its curious and delightful atmosphere and instead became rather dull and dreary. Harry felt slightly unnerved to be there.

As Harry turned to leave, he heard a scuffle within the alleyway beside one of the empty shopfronts. As curiosity got the better of him, he snuck down behind a small stone wall, cursing himself for not bringing the Cloak. Upon sitting incredibly still uncomfortably on his knees, he struggled to distinguish the voices around the corner.

"– What do you _mean_ , you can't find him? "

"I'm not the only one who can't! It's like he…left. _Completely_."

"Oh, rubbish. He's around. Probably hiding somewhere like a fool."

"But he was seen, wasn't he? Merek _told_ me so. They _saw_ him. He's around, no doubt."

"We'll keep trying. The traitor needs to be punished. He thinks we're idiots!"

"I couldn't give a toss about _him_ , Blaise – What about the dungeon bat?"

"Merek said he looked sick. I hope he keels over and finally meets his end."

"How's _that_ for karma." The female voice scoffed.

"And here I thought you fancied him." There was a male chuckle.

"Yeah, when we thought he was on our side."

"Just, lay low okay, Pan? The others are planning something big. They'll sort this out. We can't let them get away with this."

"Sure, if I end up in Azkaban, I'm dragging you with me."

There was a collective snigger between the pair.

"I'll update you if I see anything worth noting. Otherwise, I'll keep an eye on that house."

" _Seriously_ , be careful – "

"Yeah, we best not meet here again. We don't want to interfere."

Harry's body tensed. He clearly had heard enough. That seriously had him worried. Was that Pansy and Blaise? And who were they talking about? Draco or Snape? Both? Given the snippets he heard, someone had spotted Snape and noticed he was sick. Could it have been at the Quarry? Merek Selwyn – the Death Eater - maybe? He had far too many questions, but the thing that had him even most concerned was that they were being watched. They didn't specify. Could they have meant Grimmauld Place? Or somewhere else?

The thought alone sent shivers down his spine.

He had to get out of there. He had to tell the others. But if they had something against Draco, then was it possible that he had defected too? _Completely_? As with Snape, he was also a target. But why were they even at Hogsmeade? Harry didn't trust Draco, but if he was truly against the Death Eater resume now, then maybe he really did attempt to change. He needed to gather a meeting, and further figure out what they were planning. Because at it stands, Draco must also be in trouble.

Harry did not waste time getting home and remain in the safety of its walls and magical shields. He stumbled back within Grimmauld Place, and he could hear voices talking on the floor above him.

"– _Try_ again, Longbottom."

 _Poor Neville._ Harry couldn't help but chuckle under his breath. Not that he ever really found it funny, but given their post-war and ex-Hogwarts situation, it was rather amusing that Snape would still be in lecture mode at any given opportunity. Even still. Given the man mentioned he never wanted to teach, and despite his impatience and snarkiness most of the time, he was actually good at it.

" _Aconitum napellus_ , from the family Ranunculaceae."

"Precisely. And how many segments does it typically have?"

"Five to seven."

"And where is the poison most concentrated?"

"The roots and seeds…sir."

"…Still giving Neville a hard time?" Harry bravely announced as he walked into the sitting room. Snape and Neville were sitting across from each other on the couches. A stack of Herbology books was piled onto the table between them. Snape must have walked in on Neville and proceeded to fire questions at him. From what he could hear on his way up, Neville was doing rather well, even if he had no clue what they were talking about. He always hated Herbology.

Snape glared at Harry dangerously, like a hawk, " _Where_ have you been, Potter?"

Harry sat on the edge of the armrest, "We need to have a meeting. With the others. _Urgently_."

Snape tilted his head, and narrowed his eyes, "For what purpose? What did you see?"

"More like…what I heard, "Harry nervously wrung his hands within his lap, "I'll explain more when the others are here. Not the _entire_ DA, just a few of us for now."

Neville looked concerned, as he stood up from his seat, "I'll go and get Luna."

Harry nodded, "Thanks, Neville." He watched as his friend immediately left the room, as he withdrew his wand. Summoning his stag Patronus, he sent a message to Hermione to come back right away with the others. He watched as the ethereal creature darted away and disappeared through the wall. He turned to Snape, who looked rather pleased.

"You've been practicing with sending your messages…Well done, "Snape responded, with a subtle smile.

"I learn best when you are not biting my head off, "Harry shrugged, "And don't think I'll forget that compliment."

" _Don't_ push your luck."

Harry finally set down his haul from Hogsmeade – ignoring Snape's glaring protests – in his bid to uplift his mood upon his accidental eavesdrop. He tore open the box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans, and drew one blindly, before handing the box to Snape.

 _Yup. Testing my luck right now._ Harry couldn't help but smirk.

Snape narrowed his eyes at the box that Harry had handed to him, and carefully took it. He stared at Harry, and although he kept a straight face, his eyes flashed with amusement as he took a bean without looking.

"Before the others get here, "Harry grinned, as he ate his bean with a little too much confidence and regretted that immediately, " _Gross_. That was soap."

Snape snorted lightly, "That'll teach you to be less of an insufferable _cheek_." He eyed his own bean carefully, and leaned in to take a sniff –

"– Hey no cheating!" _Typical Potion Master habit._

Snape stopped before he could complete the task and raised his eyebrow, amused, "Slytherin virtue." He slipped the bean into his mouth, and grimaced, "…Earthworm. "

"Well, aren't we a pair of unlucky sods."

* * *


	37. Wish

* * *

**NOTE** : Apologies for the suuuuuper late upload. Things are about to get a little heated within the next few chapters, but there are also some cool upcoming developments. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER 37: Wish

Within an hour, the other occupants had returned to Grimmauld Place upon Harry's request, which turned out to be a somber affair. Neville and Luna had returned first, with the Ravenclaw sporting a rather whimsical rainbow dress – earning a not-so-subtle glare of disapproval from Severus. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny followed shortly after. The group piled within the newly decorated sitting room, as Kreacher decided to fill the table with blueberry muffins and assorted sandwiches, with the smell of hot chocolate wafting from the large flask in the center of the room. Severus proceeded to cradle his own mug of tea in his hands, as he waited for the teenagers to finally get settled, wincing occasionally due to the discomfort of his wound. Harry was careful to notice because he knew other's likely wouldn't. Hermione and Ron were still slightly uncomfortable regarding the sick man and didn't quite know how to handle his deterioration as Harry himself had grown used to. He and Severus exchanged careful glances, as Harry drew in a sharp breath to inform everyone of what he had overheard.

Harry sat on the end of the couch, next to Luna and Ginny, as everyone turned to look at him, waiting anxiously. "So, I know we haven't heard of any activity lately regarding the Death Eater's since the Quarry, "Harry bit his lip, "But I went to Hogsmeade earlier for a quick visit – "

" _POTTER_!" Severus was definitely annoyed, as his hand holding the mug shook causing a bit of his tea to spill over his cloak. He cursed under his breath.

Hermione's eyes widened, "You went by yourself?! _Please_ tell me you used to Cloak?"

"There weren't many people around – The place was desolate. I went alone, "Harry avoided looking at Severus, knowing full well he would be shooting murderous glares his way, "Just, _never_ mind that. I think the Death Eater's are going to attack again soon. I overheard a conversation between Pansy and Blaise."

"Those two idiots?! Why am I not surprised, "Ron scoffed, ignoring Severus' piercing glare. After all, they were _his_ Slytherin's, despite being on opposite sides of the court.

"Are you _absolutely_ sure it was them?" Severus interjected, icily.

Harry nodded, "I only heard the conversation, but I am sure it was those two. I recognised their voices, and they referred to each other by name. They are not _actually_ Death Eaters, are they?"

Severus leaned forward in his chair, "Not last I am aware of. Nor are their families, but they are closely tied with families who _are_. And what, pray tell, did they discuss?"

Finally, Harry locked eyes with Severus, "Well, they know about you for one. A Death Eater named Merek told Pansy that you were…sick. He must have noticed at the Quarry."

Severus' lip curled into a venomous sneer, "Merek Selwyn is indeed, a Death Eater…And it doesn't surprise me that they did. What else?"

"They mentioned another traitor, which I could only guess was Draco Malfoy. I thought that maybe, he had something to do with it, but it seems he doesn't want to be involved in any of that. According to them, anyway."

"That is correct, Potter. I assure you; he wants no part of it, "Severus took a sip of his tea, eyeing each teenager carefully, despite a few disapproving glances from Ron and Ginny.

"How can you be sure of that?" Ron questioned, as he redirected his questionable gaze to the Potions Master.

Severus looked at the Weasley male with a steely gaze, "Draco, is in fact, my Godson. I still remain in contact with them. But above all else, I do not want you targeting them, am I making myself clear?"

_Godson? I had no bloody idea. That explains a lot._

"Okay, fine. But either way, they could be targeting him too – "Harry explained, "Also, something else that you all need to be aware of. I think they are watching his house."

There was a collective grumble amongst the teenagers, and a few of them shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

Ginny looked startled, "But the wards should be cloaking them?"

"I know, but it's possible that they discovered its approximate location. Or maybe they spotted one of us coming here, or walking across the street to Apparate, "Harry responded, as he threw up his hands, "I don't know. I'm just telling you what I heard."

Hermione was exasperated, "Well, maybe they followed _you_ , Harry? You should _not_ have gone to Hogsmeade – "

"That decision of yours was _exceedingly_ reckless, Potter. What if they spotted you? You could have been easily ambushed – "Severus' nostrils suddenly flared up in simmering anger, sitting up straight within his chair.

"- You _can't_ seriously expect me to hide in here forever, sir, "Harry responded in disbelief.

"That's what your mutt of a Godfather said before he _foolishly_ ran into danger and got himself killed, despite his warnings to stay put!" Severus hissed, "We need no repeat of such feats of stupidity. _Least_ of all from you, Potter. Have you learned nothing?!"

" _You_ wouldn't understand! Turns out you didn't learn a damn thing either!" Harry snapped.

Severus' eyes flashed murderously, "I BEG YOUR – "

"- I _don't_ want to hear it! You've made your bloody point, now _LISTEN_ to me!"

Everyone except Harry and Severus shifted uncomfortably in their seats, not daring to intervene between two tenacious individuals. Ron and Neville exchanged wide-eyed glances, while Hermione sat there in horror. The only one who barely blinked was Luna, who looked at each Harry and Severus, expecting the tirade to continue.

Harry was the only one who ever dared to respond to the Potions Master in that way, and the Gryffindor couldn't care less. The others may have been too timid to speak up, but Harry sure as hell wasn't.

Harry shot Severus' a furious glare, before feeling Ginny's arm clutch his in a vice-grip of warning. Rage was bubbling inside of him, and he did his best to quell that feeling. He would not expect any less from him and taunting the memory of his Godfather was not something he would stand for. Severus – _Snape_ \- was infuriating and condescending, and he very well knew it. He knew how to antagonize and push Harry's rage buttons, and it took every ounce of strength to keep himself from racing up to him, grabbing him by his collar and shake some sense into him. But he knew that would do neither of them any favors at this point. Severus knew he was striking a chord, and he was expecting Harry to lash out. No, he will not give him that satisfaction. He knew how easily Harry's anger would spill over the boiling cauldron, and if this was one of his other 'tough lessons' scenarios, then he was definitely going to have words with him later.

After a short pause, and still glaring furiously at the unruly Gryffindor, Severus narrowed his eyes, "… _Continue_ , Potter."

Gritting his teeth to quell his simmering rage, Harry continued, "Look, I think we should consider scouting Hogsmeade. Or at least, ask the locals to see if they've noticed any strange activity. They mentioned not meeting there again so they don't _intervene_ with whatever might go down there. Obviously, something is about to go down."

"And walk back into the dragon's den? Are you _mental_?" Ron shot a dangerous look at Harry, "You know I'm all for catching these lunatics, and given their new fixation with Polyjuice Potion, what's to say with what you overheard, was a trap? Was it even them?"

"For once, I agree with Mr. Weasley's rather – _acute_ \- assessment. Those Death Eaters will do absolutely _anything_ to draw you out. They will taunt you and provoke you until you submit. They were likely waiting for you to finally show up, "Severus exclaimed, still seething. He looked at each other teenager individually, " _As_ with the rest of you. You _must_ remain cautious. Even safe places can be compromised."

Harry's stomach lurched at that idea.

"I think we should go and see Aberforth at Hog's Head, "Neville chimed in, "We can warn him and be on the lookout for anything suspicious. If anything goes down, he'd be one of the first ones to know."

Hermione tilted her head, "That's not such a bad idea." She looked at Severus nervously, who glowered at the idea. He definitely calculated their intentions, "Sir, we'll be quick – "

"I will highly advise you that it is a _terrible_ idea. I wouldn't imagine any less from you Gryffindors, "Severus eyed Luna dully, "The Ravenclaw, ironically, remains passive."

Luna shrugged, nonchalantly, "Well, unfortunately, I'd have to agree with them, Professor Snape. I mean, I'm all for waiting, but we'd be unable to form a logical plan of attack without further details. Minus Gryffindors, we likely won't accomplish anything _quickly_ enough. We have no Hufflepuffs within our company, and the only Slytherin we have with us – _you_ of course – should be using their cunning and resourcefulness to logically send the Gryffindors in their place. Besides, sir, you are noticeably ill, so it'll be risky for you to go, so conclusively, I think it's a good plan."

 _Wait, what?_ Harry blinked several times.

Ginny snorted under her breath, while Hermione went wide-eyed again. The room went silent for a few short moments, as all occupants watched Severus in horror. The Potion's Master, however, remained apathetic as he glared at Luna with such intensity, that Luna herself barely blinked. Harry couldn't help but be amused by this. Had they still been at Hogwarts, they would all be in detention for a month, at the very least.

_Well done, Luna._

Eventually, after a short pause, Severus raised an eyebrow, "Very well. Although Miss Lovegood does raise a _few_ valid points, I do, however, take your safety very _seriously_. Despite what you may presume. I suspect you all to take initiative – Merlin forbid – at _any_ sign of danger. You are to see Aberforth, and _only_ him, and make your way back here at once."

"You're actually okay with letting us go?" Ginny asked, cautiously.

Severus sighed, as he lightly pinched the bridge of his nose, "I am not. _Except_ for Miss Weasley, the rest of you are of age. Technically, I cannot keep you here against your will. But heed my warning, that the danger is still imminent. Much to my disapproval, I cannot be seen there, therefore I am unable to accompany you this time," He took a last glance at Harry, and the teenager nodded in silent understanding. Because it was Aberforth that caught him eavesdropping on the Prophecy that fateful night in Hogs Head. There was no way he was going to risk taking Severus with them, for fear of Aberforth spilling his whereabouts to the Aurors who were stationed at Hogsmeade. It was far too risky.

Even if Harry were still mad at Severus for his rude retort earlier about Sirius, even Harry wouldn't stoop that low to put him in danger like that.

"Well, I think only a few of us should go, "Harry suggested.

"I'll go with you, Harry. He knows me well enough, "Neville offered immediately.

Hermione nodded, eagerly, "I'll go too. And make sure we don't stay longer than necessary."

"I'll stay if you don't mind. The smell of Hogs Head makes me want to barf, and if that _bloody_ goat of his chews on my jumper one more time, I'm going to lose it, "Ron grimaced.

"Right, then that's settled then. Ron, Luna, and Ginny stay here. We won't be long, "Harry quickly pinched a cheese and pickle sandwich square from the pile on the table and stood up. He glanced at Severus who had leaned back into his chair and tapping his fingers agitatedly against the armrest of his chair, watching the Gryffindor intently on the way out.

Harry didn't waste any time, as he departed Grimmauld Place with Neville and Hermione at his heel, as they Apparated beyond the new wards placed at Hogsmeade. They did their best to avoid any Aurors, as they still could not trust their true identities, and slipped into the alleyway off the High Street leading them towards the familiar Hogs Head. Pushing through the old wooden door, a small bell chimed as the three of them piled through. Much to their relief, the place was empty. An odd smell wafted under his nose, as he looked at Hermione who shared the same look of mild revulsion.

Neville wandered ahead to the bar, to look around for the younger Dumbledore brother. But soon enough, heavy footsteps emerged from the hallway leading to the spare rooms, and Aberforth appeared holding a dirty cloth, which Harry hoped was not used on those drinking mugs at the bar.

Aberforth didn't look entirely pleased by his new guests, and huffed under his breath, "Didn't think I'd see you lot again."

"Hi Aberforth, "Neville greeted, earning a nod of acknowledgment from the elder.

"Neville Longbottom, "Aberforth stared at the three of them, "So. What brings you here? Harry Potter, I sure hope you have a good reason to show up here, even though those nasty Death Eaters are still on your tail."

Aberforth motioned for the trio to take a seat at the table in the corner, while he joined them. Harry tapped nervously on the table, "Actually sir, that's kind of why we are here."

"Is that so?" Aberforth huffed, tossing the cloth on the table, and steepled his fingers as he rested on the table's edge.

"We're here to find out if you've seen anything, well…suspicious around. Preferably recently, "Hermione asked.

"As opposed to the blasted Aurors taking over the village? I prefer to keep myself away from the public eye, so to speak."

"Taking over?"

"Ever since that attack at Godric's Hollow, the Ministry has station Aurors here to keep an eye on things. Some of them look a bit shifty. I don't trust them."

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I wouldn't either. They were using Polyjuice Potion to kidnap Muggleborn's and Blood Traitors."

"That doesn't surprise me. Those _vile_ cretins, "He looked at the trio with disgust, "But to answer your question, no I haven't seen anything else worth noting. As you can see, it hasn't exactly been _booming_ with business since the attack on Hogwarts. No one dare come by here anymore."

"What about any other students?" Neville asked.

"Honeyduke's opened up again a few days ago, but it's been barren, like every other shop front here. Although, I did notice a pair of students wandering around in the last few days."

Hermione stated, "Are you able to recognise them, sir?"

Aberforth paused in thought, "Male and female. The male was tall and dark-skinned – quite a handsome lad - and the female had brunette hair and a pug-like nose. No offense to her or anything. They both looked a little too smug like we didn't just survive a _ruddy_ war."

Harry and Hermione shared a worried glance. Well, that was almost a total confirmation. He didn't know anyone else who would fit that description, and as for the male, Harry was sure that wasn't Dean. He looked back at Aberforth, "Did you hear them saying anything?"

Aberforth shook his head, "They were too far away for me to tell. But all I know is that they've been here twice in the last two days, and I know for _certain_ they don't reside here."

"Anyone else with them?" Neville asked.

Aberforth looked at each teenager, a little frustrated, " _Look_ , everyone is looking over their shoulders now. It's still not safe. I have better things to do than spy on a pair of students likely minding their own business. I prefer to keep to myself if you don't mind. "

"Would you let us know if you _do_ see anything odd? The sooner we stop this the better," Harry sighed. This conversation was obviously nearing its end, and it was clear that Aberforth did not want to talk to them any longer.

"It's not _your_ job to stop. Haven't you done enough? If my _blasted_ brother had a little more decency, he wouldn't have been so giddy priming a child to do his dirty work. If I were you, I'd watch your back. I hear Severus Snape is still prowling around. And I am almost _certain_ he is behind the kidnappings. Mark my words, if I ever see that _filth_ with my own eyes again, I will kill him myself, "There was glimmering malice in the man's eyes, that had Harry feeling incredibly uncomfortable. He – _they_ \- knew full well that Severus wasn't behind the attacks, but they had to give him the benefit of the doubt to protect him. He wasn't the enemy.

Harry clenched his jaw, getting annoyed with the older man before them, "I'm sure there are others more violent we should worry about." He nudged Hermione, and Harry stood up from the table clearly wanting to end this discussion. "We best be going."

Aberforth nodded, almost pleased, "You best do that, Mr. Potter."

Harry, Hermione, and Neville filed out of Hogs Head looking rather bewildered, making their way down the barren alleyway in a bid to stray away from any potential eavesdroppers.

Hermione lowered her voice, "I don't know about you Harry, but I don't think I trust him anymore."

Harry nodded, biting his lip, "Yeah. I'd have to agree."

"Maybe he just wants to keep to himself? Go back into being recluse like he did before Hogwarts got attacked, "Neville whispered.

"Yeah, but surely he still cares about the threat?"

"Maybe that's _precisely_ why he doesn't want to be involved. So, he doesn't end up a target, "Hermione responded. "Also, he is accusing Snape on a whim because he wants to point the blame on someone seemingly obvious. That's _never_ a good sign."

Harry sighed, "Yeah, that's why I didn't want to stick around any longer in there." He frowned, deep in thought, and shook his head as if he were responding to himself.

Hermione noticed his hesitation, "Harry, what is it? What's on your mind?"

"I – "Harry lowered his head, so he couldn't be overheard, "– What if, and I know this is going to sound crazy, but what if we…approach Draco? Ask him directly?"

Hermione's eyes grew wide. " _Harry_ – "

"- Just listen. If Draco is _actually_ not involved and is still in hiding, then maybe he can help us put a stop to this?"

"That is absolutely bonkers, Harry, "Neville looked uncertain. "But you can't be sure. We can't trust him, even though he turned against Voldemort at the last minute."

"Snape said so, and I trust his word about him. Don't you?" Harry responded.

"Yeah, but Draco may have been lying to him about that. We may never know, "Hermione still looked extremely worried.

"Look, I don't fully _trust_ Draco either. But he could be valuable to us."

"What makes you think he'll ever work with us? Or want to?" Neville chimed.

"If he is being targeted, and by the sounds of it, has no one else left to turn to, then that may be more of an incentive to ask, don't you think?"

"I _really_ don't think this is a good idea," Hermione shook her head, "And there is no _way_ we are going back to Malfoy Manor, no…" She looked upset. He didn't blame her. After what happened at Malfoy Manor once they were caught by Snatchers, it was hell for all of them, but especially Hermione. There was no way she was willing to venture back in there.

Harry placed a reassuring hand on her forearm, "We _won't_ be going there. Maybe I'll ask Snape and see what he thinks. Besides, his mother saved my life and lied for me. The least I could do is offer them a chance to work with us. Lucius is in Azkaban, so at least we don't have to deal with _him_."

Hermione nodded, "Alright. Let's go home. We've already been here far longer than necessary."

The three of them hastily darted away from the wizarding village and made their way back to Grimmauld Place to find Severus playing wizards chess with Ron to kill some time while they returned. Upon walking into the sitting room on the first floor, it was definitely a strange sight. Harry paused in his tracks as Severus claimed one of Ron's bishops, leaving the Slytherin looking incredibly smug. Ron grumbled frustratingly under his breath.

 _How the hell did Severus convince him to play against him?_ Maybe it was his way of making sure they didn't leave. He looked over at Ginny who watched the game with amusement, on the couch beside Ron. _Or maybe she baited them to it._

"I never thought I'd ever see the day, "Neville followed Harry into the sitting room and sat down. Luna had since left their company, so it was the two Weasleys and the Head of Slytherin left behind, "So who is winning?"

Ron looked glum, "Take a _wild_ bloody guess." He moved a chess piece.

Severus smirked.

The man immediately took one of Ron's knights, as he turned to observe Harry, " _Good_. You're still in one piece, Potter. Discover anything mildly useful?"

Harry slumped down in the chair, "Aside from confirming that it _was_ Pansy and Blaise there, in which they were sighted a few other times. But Aberforth wasn't particularly too helpful."

"That doesn't surprise me in the slightest, "Severus narrowed his eyes, regarding the teenagers carefully before him, "He will only assist if it directly concerns him. Were you seen?"

Hermione stepped in as she shook her head, "No. Well, we didn't see anyone else there. The place is rather deserted."

Severus paused, as he further ponded their next move. His baritone voice had its own sense of finality, "I will inform the Minister directly, so he can make the appropriate adjustments. If Death Eaters _have_ posed as one of the Aurors, then I fear we may not be able to discover their true identities until it is too late. "Severus sighed as he abandoned the game of chess, and stood up from his chair, "Furthermore, he must be informed of what we know. Vague, but better than no news. I will not be long. _Stay_ put until I return, is that clear?"

There was a collective nod, and with a sweep of his robes, the Slytherin left their vicinity.

Harry turned to Hermione, "I'll have a chat to Snape later about…You know."

"Say what?" Ron leaned back into his seat, with his arms crossed over his chest.

Harry and Hermione exchanged worried glances, as Harry turned to Ron, "Draco."

" _That_ git? What's he up to this time?"

"Well, the thing is, he's not up to anything. As far as we know. You heard Snape. He's done with them, "Harry sat back onto the couch, "But I was thinking that maybe, we could use his help."

Ron looked mad, "That _pretentious_ idiot? Hell _bloody_ no, Harry!"

"Look, I know it's a far reach. But he did come through in the end, didn't he? What if the Death Eaters kill him? I know he's an _absolute_ tosser, but I wouldn't want to wish him _dead_ , either."

"I didn't think you gave a damn about him."

"I don't. But if he's in danger too, then – "Harry sighed, "We can at least try and help?"

"He's right, Ron. We _can't_ be heartless. Leaving him as a target is rather cruel, "Hermione bit her lip, "Surely even _he_ doesn't deserve that."

"He did pretend not to recognise me at Malfoy Manor, remember? I don't know if _you_ noticed, but he was scared out of his mind, "Harry reminded them. He surely could not forget, "His mum _protected_ me by lying to Voldemort's face on the night I went to my death."

Ron didn't say a thing, but he clearly looked unsure about the idea. Harry knew it would not have sat well with the others, and the idea of extending an olive branch to his former rival irked even him. But he wanted to continue to do the right thing, then Draco had a chance to help them set this right. If he is hurt or killed, then Harry would feel guilty for not doing enough. He _didn't_ want to become friends with Draco – he knew that would not be possible. They were simply far too different. But they can at least extend some sort of civil truce. Draco and his mother must also be hiding away, much like he and Severus were. Wouldn't it be easier if they could work together, even briefly, and set this right? Harry didn't care about Pansy or Blaise. He cared about the other Death Eaters who want nothing more than to frighten them and everyone else that Harry knows. Poor victims snatched from their homes in a bid to instill fear and terror in the name of their fallen Dark Lord. _No_ one was safe. People were still captured, families are torn apart, and tortured in front of each other, scarring them for the rest of their lives.

They still had no idea where Lee was taken, nor Dean's parents. Who else would be added?

They will not rest until they've ripped everyone else apart. They have to stop this somehow, and if that meant reconnecting with old enemies, then it would be at a benefit to everyone towards a common goal.

Hermione left shortly after with Ron to check up on the other potion brewing away at Hogwarts, with Neville making a stop to visit his parents at St. Mungo's. Ginny had stayed with Harry for a while but eventually ventured home back to the Burrow. Severus had returned a few hours later in the evening – much to Harry's increasing worry – and slumped back into his usual chair in the sitting room, looking exhausted. His face was pallid and gaunt, and he was clearly devoured of all energy. Harry took a seat in the opposite sofa chair by the fire and observed the man closely as he watched Severus close his eyes briefly, and shiver slightly. Harry withdrew his wand and added further flames to the fireplace.

"…Are you alright?"

There was a slight wheeziness to the man's breathing, but after a minute, he finally opened his eyes again and looked at Harry warily, "Long or short version? Mind you, I'd rather _not_ express either as they would likely contain expletives I'd rather not repeat."

"…Severus?"

The Slytherin simply raised an eyebrow.

Harry inhaled sharply, "Look, I'm _not_ sorry for getting mad at you earlier about what you said about Sirius, but I _am_ sorry about hassling you earlier about seeing my parents, "Harry paused to see the fatigued and defeated look upon Severus' face, "I didn't want to _force_ you to go. That was…unfair."

"I don't regret what I said, as I merely proving a vital point and common sense for your benefit, "Severus looked away upon the mention of Sirius and pinched his nose. "I appreciate the apology, but it is not necessary, "He tilted his head, looking back at the Gryffindor, "Your unwavering ability to do the right thing, can often cloud your judgment upon another's needs. Nevertheless, I _do_ understand your wishes. I admit I was a little taken aback by the request."

"I didn't mean to throw you off guard, "Harry responded, "I just genuinely thought it would help."

Severus' expression remained passive, "Perhaps, I will consider it. For a later date once it is somewhat safe to do so. But I cannot promise anything."

"I know. I understand, really, "Harry pulled his legs up to his chest, curling up on the sofa.

Severus raised his chin to observe the Gryffindor carefully, "…Are _you_ alright?"

Harry's heart jumped in his chest, as he shook his head slowly, "Usually I would lie and say yes, but you would see right through that, wouldn't you?"

"Naturally. However, you are easy to read, therefore it doesn't take much effort to speculate, "Severus leaned forward within his chair slightly, with a look of dismay upon his face and sadness deep within his dark eyes, "Harry, I _must_ be clear with you. There really is no easy way for me to say this, however…I do not know how much longer I have left - Could be weeks or months. With that in mind, I want you to…go forth and create a life for yourself, despite what happens. _Continue_ to make good choices, regardless of the odds that appear stacked against you. _You_ are worth more than you perceive yourself to be."

Harry was suddenly tearful, "No one has ever really told me that…" That hit him unexpectedly hard. He really didn't anticipate that at all, but the sentiment made him sad, and he spoke the next few words feeling as if a bubble was rising within his throat, "…We _will_ fix this."

"But _if_ not, I want to thank you for putting faith in me that I _never_ expected from anyone. _Especially_ from you, after everything you've endured… "Severus' eyes seemed to glaze over, and he drew in a gentle breath, "I realise I spent many years resenting you severely and treating you unfairly, and that alone is another regret of mine. The things I said and did, I can never take back. And yet, you _still_ fight for my life. No one has ever shown kindness quite as you have. Admittedly, I _never_ expected this to happen."

Harry offered a small smile, "I never expected this either, in all honesty. I just wish I had known the truth sooner. It's just unfair that we never got that chance before."

"Unfortunately, many paths were never meant to be. "

"And yet, here we are. I think we defied enough odds; don't you agree?"

"Indeed, we did, "Severus' mouth twitched into a small smile.

Regarding the man with a soft curiosity, Harry bit his lip, "I didn't realise Draco was your Godson. I didn't know you had…"

"…Family?" Severus raised his eyebrows, "I no longer have any _blood_ relatives left. Aside from my estranged Muggle father who left many years ago, Draco is technically, the closest I have."

Harry frowned, "I had the impression you and Draco were close."

" _Were_. He grew distant once he accepted the Mark. Since then, we have not been close. He did not take kindly to my…defection. He feels like I betrayed him and his family."

Harry clenched his jaw, "I'm…sorry."

"Don't be. I was unable to sway him away from such a choice because unlike myself, he faced death if he refused. I am not worthy of being his Godfather because I was unable to help him when he truly needed it."

"That can't be true. I'm sure you would have done everything you could. With a family like the Malfoys, I suppose his fate was set in stone. "

"He was punished for the mistakes of his father. No child should have to endure that."

Harry noticed Severus' hesitation, yet silent realisation, as he watched the man avert his gaze painfully away. Was that guilt? Did Severus feel guilty for treating Harry with unfair disdain, because of the actions of his father?

Harry often wondered if the man ever regretted that decision to consistently mock Harry because of how badly his father had treated Severus all those years ago. Harry was always made to feel guilty and felt that there was nothing else that he could do to convince him that he really _wasn't_ his father. But that was in the past now, right? He knew Severus had now started to realise that Harry was his own person, and he was not the arrogant, spoilt, and pretentious man his father was. He was a far cry from that, and so very much the opposite. In a way, he was glad Severus had _finally_ come to realise that. Harry was not coddled, or lavished, or loved by family. He was deprived, abused, and left forgotten for the first eleven years of his life. He was starved, hurt, and neglected. Even though Severus may never fully understand that perhaps he had more in common with the Slytherin's upbringing after all.

Blood does not always mean family, in any situation. Aunt Petunia was Harry's blood relative, but he never perceived her as family. Yet he always saw Molly Weasley as the closest person to a mother he had ever had, and she was far perceived to be family _more_ so than his deranged Aunt.

Given the hallucinations Severus must have seen on the first ritual night, he was sure that he had his own hardships and psychological hurdles with his own father. Images of a young Severus huddled in the corner with a towering father overhead sent chills down Harry's spine. It reminisced of some of the darker nights Harry had endured with his uncle Vernon. Given that flashback, Harry realised he could further relate to Severus. No child deserved to endure that with any of their family.

Harry gently cleared his throat, "Severus, I was thinking earlier if there was a way to, well…ask for his help? That is if he really is against the regime."

Severus frowned, "I don't think he would take kindly to such an invitation. He is very set on his ways. However, next, I see him, perhaps I can mention it. I can't guarantee he'd be _thrilled_ , but I do know for certain that he wants the threat to dissipate. He, and his mother, do not feel safe. "

"I owe Narcissa, too. Did I mention she lied to Voldemort for me? If she is an Occlumens, she did bloody well."

Severus seemed surprised, "Did she, now?"

Harry nodded, "When I went to the forest, to my death…After I came back. She asked me if Draco was alive, and I nodded. She then turned to Voldemort and announced that I was dead. She saved me."

Severus looked taken aback, "I had no idea. That is rather…admirable of her. She never informed me of such a feat."

Harry snorted lightly, "I doubt she would have. She'd probably hate to admit it. But the point is, I _owe_ her. If Draco has more information, then it would be logical to ask, don't you think?"

Severus gave a single nod, "I will attempt to contact him, if that is, you are certain. Draco may be my Godson, but he has often made terrible decisions without confronting me. I am doubtful of how much he is willing to share with me in this instance. He and I got off on the wrong foot previously."

"Then I'll go and see him myself – "

Severus raised his palm upwards to halt him, "- That will not be necessary, Harry. I will speak with him first and inform you, and we'll go from there."

"Thank you."

Severus glanced at the old antique grandfather clock in the corner of the room. It was close to midnight. He looked at Harry, with a slight narrowing of his eyes, "Time for bed, Gryffindor."

Harry snorted, "Yes, Da- "

_Oh, crap._

His mind had wandered back to father and hadn't realised it was about to slip out.

He shut his mouth so quickly, he almost bit his tongue. His face flushed with embarrassment. Severus stared at him; eyes widened at the remark. _Yup, he definitely caught that. What the hell was I thinking?!_ If it weren't him in the room, he would have yelled out the harshest expletive he could muster.

Severus then seemed to hesitate briefly but changed back to his usual passive deadpan expression once again, " _Bed_."

Harry shook his head, completely beside himself, and rose from the couch. The Slytherin, however, didn't do so effortlessly. He struggled a little, still devoured of the energy and strength to push himself up. Harry took a step closer and outstretched his arm towards him. Severus finally looked up at Harry, defeated, and clasped his forearm tightly, pulling the unwell man back onto his feet. They walked together up the next flight of stairs, making sure Severus was able to get to his room without further accidents, before leaving him there for the night and heading upstairs to the fourth floor towards his own room.

Harry got dressed and slumped into his bed, drifting off to sleep immediately. That was definitely one of the quickest, and for once, didn't involve him staring at the ceiling for hours on end before he slipped into a peaceful slumber. No nightmares that night much to his relief, but he did have an odd dream of being drowned in his bedroom, as it was filling up with Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans. He wasn't sure how long he slept for, but he was being gently prodded awake by Severus in the pitch black of the night. Was he dreaming? He didn't recall having a nightmare, so this was rather startling.

"What – "

"Excuse the rude awakening, but the Headmistress will be here shortly. Something has happened, "Severus lowered his voice, which was welcoming since his usual booming tone would have caused him heart palpitations. The man was slightly breathless – how quickly did he climb up those stairs? Harry sat up and swung up his legs over the edge of the bed and reached for his glasses on the bedside table.

Harry's heart, although, did begin to race, "What happened? What time is it?"

"Two-thirty in the morning. She sent me a Patronus a few minutes prior – "They heard the front door open, and Severus immediately withdrew his wand defensively. Once they heard the familiar voice of McGonagall calling their names, he breathed a sigh of relief as he turned to Harry, "…Follow me."

Harry grabbed his wand at his bedside, still in his pajamas as with Severus still in his day clothes from that evening – _Did he even sleep?_ \- and followed him downstairs to where they greeted McGonagall in the kitchen.

"Ahh, there you are – "She looked deeply concerned. She wore a simple grey and navy robe; likely in her bid to look decent enough to leave her quarters in such disarray at this odd hour. Her greyed hair mostly up in a messy bun, leaving a few straggled strands hanging down the side of her face. She looked at the attire of both men before men, before making her acute judgment, " _Good_ , you haven't left. There's been an incident."

"At Hogsmeade?" Harry asked.

McGonagall frowned, "How did you – "

" _Never_ mind that Minerva, what happened?" Severus motioned for the others to take a seat. He clearly didn't fancy staying on his feet for any longer than necessary, because his effort of subtly leaning against the doorframe did him no favors.

"An Auror was found dead in the center of the village overnight, "The Headmistress looked sickened, "They found his, _err_ …head on a pike by the well…It was one of the Aurors that we had stationed at Hogwarts a while ago. Edward Blackmore, I believe…The Minister has sent more Aurors to scout the area. They can't find the rest of him – "

Harry's stomach lurched. Yet Severus remained composed, "Is that the only death?"

She shook her head grimly, "A family was also attacked in Hogsmeade. A single father and his young child found dead in their home. His wife had already passed in the Second War. A half-blood family. This is _absolutely_ horrendous."

Harry threw his hand over his mouth, too shocked to say anything.

"I was deeply concerned that you were _both_ there, hence the emergency message, Severus, " McGonagall looked exhausted, "…I had to inform you both. This is deeply unsettling."

"We _can't_ trust those Aurors, Professor – " Harry swallowed thickly. There was really no telling which one of them were on their side, "And Kingsley could also be in danger – "

" _Minister_ Shacklebolt is _well_ aware of the situation, Mr. Potter. But I'm afraid there is not much else we can do – "

There was a loud _CRASH_ just outside the front door of Grimmauld Place. Immediately, all three of them stood up and withdrew their wands, exchanging worried glances as they turned to the front door in silent anticipation.

Another _CRASH_ reverberated, shaking the front door this time. Someone was definitely trying to break in.

Severus arched his head upwards, as he spoke with a hurried whisper, "Upstairs, _now_."

Harry and McGonagall made their way towards the stairs, with Severus rallied behind them as they traveled towards the first floor. Any further up, and they will likely get cornered. Severus stood in front of them facing the descending stairwell, with his wand arm outstretched and ready, but Harry took a step forward to stand beside him as a fortified front. If Severus' magic were indeed losing power, they would surely be in deep trouble.

There was a final _CRASH_ when they heard the front door finally snap off its hinges, causing Harry to flinch slightly. There was an agonizing silence for a while, which was very unnerving. Eventually, careful footsteps sounded below, creaking every weakened floorboard that existed on the ground floor, which told Harry exactly where in the house they were. Apart from the startling screeches of Mrs. Black's portrait, the scathing voices indicated that they definitely had more than one enemy in their midst. He could not recognise the voices but judging by the darkened sneer Severus had plastered on his face, it was obvious to him that he did. But everything happened so quickly, that Harry could not fathom the situation fast enough.

Before Harry could even finish blinking, a blinding flash suddenly exploded in front of them, throwing them completely off guard. No one had any time to activate a Shield Charm, as the three of them stumbled backward as they recoiled from the harsh magical flashbang, backing up at the beginning of the ascending stairwell to the next floor. Severus suddenly grabbed a fistful of Harry's shirt, and pulled him roughly behind him, as the Potion's Master began to fire an assortment of spells at the enemies below. McGonagall followed Severus, and immediately, chaos rang throughout Grimmauld Place.

Severus fired a non-verbal curse, blowing a hole in one of the adjoining walls below, with splintering wood exploding anywhere. Their first masked Death Eater below retaliated with a purple beam of a curse that Harry had never seen before, which shot painfully close over Severus' head, hitting the wall behind the odd trio. Harry glanced beside him to see the wall begin to disintegrate and melt away as if it were penetrated with acid. Severus cast a non-verbal Shield Charm, and their second attempt backfired and hit the floor beneath the feet of the second Death Eater. The floor began to disintegrate beneath them.

There was a sound of a crack behind him, and two of the Death Eaters from below had Apparated behind, trapping them in the middle. McGonagall turned swiftly on her feet and began to duel the offenders behind them in a flurry of golden tendrils from her wand. The Death Eater retaliated, sending curses upon every available surface, blowing holes upon the walls around them. Harry managed to compose himself and joined McGonagall's side in attacking the Death Eaters determined to flank them.

Harry swung his wand up in a sharp upwards motion to cast a non-verbal _Expelliarmus_ , but the enemy predicted that immediately, and cast another Shield Charm, knocking Harry off his feet as if someone had pulled the rug out from underneath him. Still clutching his wand, he fired a non-verbal _Incendio_ on a whim and hit the legs of the Death Eater who attacked him. He watched as the flames burned the man's legs, as he tumbled to the floor.

" _NOT_ a fire charm! You'll burn the _bloody_ house down – "Severus' deep voice bellowed behind him. He didn't miss a beat.

_Whoops._

Ignoring his own blunder and scattered miscalculation, Harry scrambled to his feet and watched his Head of House duel with such finesse and power despite her elderly frame, that it took all but a few more seconds to send the two Death Eaters sprawled to the floor. It was actually rather fascinating to watch, but he did everything in his power to prevent himself from becoming too distracted. Harry turned to find Severus had disappeared downstairs, likely trying to drive the others away.

Grimmauld Place was not exactly the ideal dueling ground, as it was far too cramped and small to fight without the increased risk of injuring another ally unintentionally. He couldn't keep track of the Death Eaters that had infiltrated the property, because some kept reappearing elsewhere within the house, further confusing them. It was all getting very frustrating.

Severus slashed at one of the enemies below with his familiar _Sectumsempra_ , causing him to crumble to the floor in his place. But as he was occupied with him, another Death Eater reappeared behind the Slytherin and flung his wand arm back, ready to strike. Harry was on the staircase and had seen what was about to happen.

" _Glacius_ _impedimenta_!" Harry shouted the freeze charm that Severus had taught him and watched as a ball of ice formed at the tip of his wand, and with a sharp movement, he fired it at the opposing Death Eater. The ball of ice was hurled through the air and hit the enemy square in the chest. Frost encompassed him, as he was frozen to the spot from head to toe, unmoving like an ice sculpture.

Severus turned around immediately to find his sneak attacker incapacitated, and Harry as the caster. He didn't say anything, but the pleased look he had on his face at the feat, told much. But as soon as they heard a worrying _THUMP_ in the floor above, Severus and Harry exchanged panicked glances, as they raced upstairs. First floor…Second floor…Third floor…They passed an unconscious Death Eater on the way up, but eventually, they found the Headmistress dueling an enemy on the third floor. A curse shot by McGonagall's arm, creating a horrible gash along her left shoulder, leaving the elderly witch to yelp in pain. Severus was breathless, as they reached the correct floor. McGonagall was able to finally render her enemy unconscious, but she turned to clutch her injured shoulder. She looked incredibly frazzled.

Behind them, another Death Eater scrambled to his feet, with another right behind them. But as Severus turned to fire another spell, a few harmless white sparks spilled out of the end like a sparkler. Both enemies fired spells simultaneously when it hit the wall beside them, causing a small explosion that rocked that very floor.

Harry didn't remember much after that, because he was struck by a piece of debris that hit him square in the back of his head. Everything spun around him, as his vision blurred, and an intense ringing in his ear causing a wave of vertigo to hit him. Harry remembered hitting the floor and strained to listen as the familiar pop of Apparition sounded twice, letting him know that those Death Eaters had escaped.

Harry groaned as he managed to roll onto his side, but his efforts were practically useless. His vision was still blurry, but he could hear the scrambling of two people close by. He could barely hear their panicked voices amongst the frustrating ringing within his ear. But eventually, he felt himself being pulled on to his back and sat slightly upright. Instead of expecting his back against a wall, he was pulled back on something softer. Or someone. Through squinting eyes, he could see a tangle of shredded and dust-filled black robes around him, as he could see the familiar pale and bleeding hands of Severus holding him steady around his torso, and one stabilising his head in place. Any sudden movement caused Harry to feel sick. He knew he had sustained a concussion, and Severus had sat him up to avoid the risk of him choking on his own vomit.

But Severus was there. And Harry felt safe.

"It's alright, remain still… " Severus' voice was gentle and reassuring, but Harry couldn't help but detect a slight shakiness in his voice. Harry felt a cold compress on the back of his head. Severus must have ushered a mild cooling spell for his head injury.

Harry murmured, "Are they -?"

"- They are gone."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. _What had happened, though?_

"Severus is he – " McGonagall was still here.

"A concussion, by the looks of it. No other visible injuries as far as I can tell. Harry will recover, but he must remain still for the moment – "Severus looked worryingly at McGonagall, and noticed her bleeding shoulder, "Minerva…"

McGonagall knelt down beside the pair, ignoring her own wound, and placed a hand on Severus' shoulder with a stricken expression, "Never mind that - Your _magic_ -"

"– I know. It's been a recent and unfortunate…Hindrance, " Severus responded, frustratingly, "I – "

McGonagall squeezed his shoulder further, as her voice lowered, "- I am aware, Severus."

Severus flinched, and Harry could feel him tense up and the man's heart beating furiously within his chest. His eyes darted from Harry, and back to the elderly witch, "Of course you know." Harry felt the arm around him tighten gently. It was a small comfort.

McGonagall offered a smile at Harry, then back at Severus. She must have caught on with Severus' first-name basis with Harry only moments ago. She slowly stood up, hearing a few crackles emanate from her old bones, and brushed away some of the debris from her robes.

She drew in a deep breath, "I must re-activate the wards _immediately_ , so no more enemies attempt a last-minute attack. We need no more surprises tonight. Stay put, you two." McGonagall hastily dashed down the stairs to set up magical barriers once again.

The comforting hands holding Harry further tightened once she disappeared from view, and he could hear the shaky breaths from Severus' in distress. "…I'm so…My shield charm failed, and I couldn't…"

Harry grabbed the man's visibly tremoring wrist suddenly, "You didn't know it was going to happen. It's okay -"

"It – is – not – _okay_!" Severus' wavering voice was a mixture of anger and despair. It tore Harry's heart to shreds. He was clearly and deeply affected by this mishap. Even worse from that day when he accidentally struck Harry.

"…Don't be upset."

That must have been the final thread to snap because Harry felt a single tear fall and drop onto his shirt, as Severus further enveloped him into an embrace, resting his forehead on top of his messy, debris-filled hair. They both sat together on the floor in comfortable silence.

Harry didn't slacken his own hand on the man's wrist, but instead, squeezed it gently, silently regarding the wary man in his company.

They were both safe and alive, and that was enough.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE:** Hello readers! If you've made this far into my story – THANK YOU! I kind of wanted to address something here on a whim, and it's not to answer a review because it had not really been mentioned, but I really wanted to touch up upon my version of Severus. Consider this a little checkpoint =)

I know it's difficult to keep someone as IC as possible, especially in a post-war scenario, but I really hope you are okay with my version of our favorite grumpy Potion's Master. It has been quite the journey for him already since, and I wanted to breathe as much life (or second life, rather) into this character as possible because after all, he is human. But a human with an extraordinarily complex set of emotions and personality traits. In this story, it has been really fun to delve into peeling away those layers to bring about a version of himself that he _could_ have been had he survived. Or even the person he could have been before everything went to hell, and a world where he was treated with a little more kindness. It's a fun 'What if' to explore. I don't want to discuss this too much because I can talk about Severus for ages, but I truly hope that you guys don't mind the direction I am going with him, and I'm doing my best to give him that development at a natural pace, given the circumstances. The dangerous role he spent most of his life enacting, is over, so that left him without a purpose. Until now. He is learning to love and trust again, and that itself can change a person.

Also, a side note on the subject of Aberforth – I don't intend to write him as 'evil', because he isn't. He is just content to go back to being as he was before he was asked to assist in the Battle of Hogwarts. He still hasn't forgotten that it was Snape who overheard the prophecy, so he is harboring a lot of hate and resentment for him about it. Understandably, of course. So, just thought I'd point that out.


	38. Distorted Shadows

* * *

**NOTE:** Okay, I didn't entirely plan for this chapter to be split POV, but it seemed to work best against my original plan. Severus' POV will happen later in this chapter. And also, apologies in advance – a few characters are on edge in this chapter.

* * *

**CHAPTER 38: Distorted Shadows**

Once McGonagall had finished placing the new wards downstairs, she retrieved the wands off the fallen Death Eaters within Grimmauld Place and organised to have them sent away by Kingsley himself, who did not want to risk sending Aurors just yet. No one could fully trust the Aurors at this point, not even the Minister himself. Although many of the Aurors had been subjected to intense scrutiny amongst the new Ministry overhaul, there were still highly vulnerable cracks in which the Death Eaters could still slip through. There were not many Aurors left available, as they either perished in the Second War or subjected to the aftereffects of long-term victimisation of the Imperius Curse. The ones who succumbed to neither of those were hesitant to be out in the field.

For a few moments, Harry had wished Tonks and Mad-Eye were still here. They'd know what to do.

Either way, they still had to take extreme caution.

Meanwhile, Severus assisted Harry to the sitting room given the state of the upper floors amidst the destruction. Traveling down the stairs was painstakingly difficult, but the pair of them managed to reach the room without further disasters. Despite fighting off some rounds of mild nausea while begrudgingly accepting one of Severus' anti-nausea potions, Harry finally curled up on the long couch, resting his aching head against the maroon and velvet pillows, with a soft blanket wrapped around him. Severus had encouraged him to rest, but Harry was far too worried to even consider something as simple as sleep. There was just far too much going on, as stress levels amongst them were elevated.

Harry didn't have a clear view of Severus' face earlier, but he now looked several shades paler and there was dried blood caked all over his face given what he could see under the pale candlelight and glow of the fireplace. Severus leaned forward hunched in his seat, with his elbows resting above his knees, hands clasped tightly staring idly at the floor – both occupants in silence. The Headmistress returned, finally taking care of the enemies now safely contained. She wandered back to the sitting room with the pair and sat down with a heavy, exhausted sigh beside Severus on the opposite couch. Her arm was still bleeding. Severus withdrew his wand, and McGonagall shot him a stern apprehensive look.

Severus curled his lip at the elderly Gryffindor, "Not _all_ of my magic is gone, Minerva." With a look of uncertainty, she turned to her side and allowed him to perform an assortment of healing charms. Thankfully, without any further trouble. The wounds slowly knitted themselves together, and the blood remnants disappeared.

McGonagall clutched her now-healed shoulder, "Thank you, Severus. I have informed Kingsley what has happened here, as Order business." Severus shot her a warned look. "No, I did not make him aware of _that_. Who else knows about your magic?"

"Just us. Not even my friends know, "Harry answered truthfully, interjected within the conversation.

McGonagall nodded, pleased by the response, "For now, let's keep it that way, "She suddenly threw her hands up in the air, bewildered, "How _ever_ did they breach Headquarters?"

Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "It didn't occur to me earlier amidst the chaos, but perhaps it was my own faltering magic which weakened them initially. After all, I enacted them. One of the disillusionment charms _must_ have fallen first. Let us hope the Muggle population did not bear witness to that."

The Headmistress looked alarmed, "I _sure_ hope not. Regardless, Kingsley will update us, I'm sure. I've strengthened the wards, so it should keep the Death Eaters away for a while, "Her face turned sullen, and devastated, "As with you, Severus -"

"- I'd rather not discuss that with you, Minerva."

McGonagall glanced sadly at the Slytherin, "I really _wish_ you would…" She reached out a shaky hand to Severus, by the Slytherin hesitated and recoiled. With disappointment, she retracted her hand and placed them back in her lap.

Severus looked wary and clearly irritable, "Now is _not_ the time to discuss my mortality. Until I'm in my deathbed, then it is a matter of least concern."

Harry's jaw clenched, not wanting to think of such things. He glanced quickly at Severus, who struggled to make eye contact with either of them.

McGonagall continued, "I beg to differ. You _cannot_ ignore this."

Severus frowned at the woman, remaining silent.

The elderly witch paused, knowing full well his decision was final. "Would you like me to at _least_ stay, Severus?"

Severus shook his head, "That will not be necessary. You are needed at Hogwarts."

"Grimmauld Place is now compromised, and they are likely to attack again. It is far too risky to allow you both to stay here. With you gravely ill - "

"- I am well aware."

"What about Hogwarts? It is your safest option."

"We can't just _abandon_ this place, Professor, "Harry chimed in, a little annoyed.

"Mr. Potter, there may _be_ no other choice, "McGonagall shot Harry a stern look, "You may not be so lucky should they attack again. I think it's time you both consider an alternative. This place is no longer safe."

"We'll discuss our options and relay our decision to you. For now, Harry requires rest, "Severus responded. He may have been speaking on behalf of himself as well because the man looked mildly distressed. The lines on his face prominent as it continuously crinkled in worry over what had taken place not long before. It seemed to age him further.

"It's okay, Professor. We'll be fine here for now. _They_ are down by four. They won't be attacking anytime soon, "Harry replied in agreement, "We'll let you know of anything else."

McGonagall drew in an exhausted sigh, as she rose up from her chair, "Very well. I have several things I must attend to in light of recent events. Alert me if _anything_." With a final nod, the Headmistress made her way out of Grimmauld Place, as they heard the front door – now repaired – shut with a gentle close.

Severus said nothing else, not even a glance at Harry, and disappeared from the room for a short while after she departed, possibly in a bid to clean up and repair what he could, likely to occupy his own racing mind. He knew he felt terrible for what happened, but it was further proof that his own magic was now unpredictable. It was definitely a close call, but it was obvious that the consequences would have been far too severe. Harry didn't have time to alert the others. But then again, neither of them could have known what was going to happen.

The Death Eaters were cornering them. Drawing them away from any safehouse. Enacting fear so they scrambled dearly for life.

They could not keep living like this.

Harry, unfortunately, couldn't keep his eyes open any longer as he gently drifted off to sleep. Once he finally awoke in the early hours of the morning, he noticed Severus snoring lightly in the armchair by the fire - He never retreated to his bedroom. The dark grey curtains were kept drawn, much to Harry's relief. A few pale streams of light slipped through the crevices, which caused him slight comfort in sensitivity. He still sported a rather nasty headache from his concussion, but at least the room didn't spin around him this time. He considered moving, but he decided to lay there for a while to slowly regain his bearings. He was sure the others would arrive at some point in the morning, only to find the ghastly state of the house. That was not going to be a fun one to explain.

Suddenly, there was a persistent tapping on the window, and Harry slowly rose from the couch to open the window. A small scrawny grey owl flew through and dropped a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ on the table, which stirred Severus awake beside him. The owl then flew off, as Harry walked back to the couch and slumped down, hastily grabbing the newspaper and he sat back to read with a rising dread.

Harry groaned to himself.

**Three Deaths at Hogsmeade**

_The popular village of Hogsmeade, located in Scotland, fell prey to a senseless attack overnight resulting in the deaths of two locals, and an Auror. Horrified witnesses stumbled across Edward Blackmore, 40, an Auror of six years who was on night duty, attacked and beheaded. His body was later found beside the tracks at the Hogsmeade train station. Mr. Blackmore, who spent a prior twelve years working as a shopkeeper in their family establishment Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment located in Diagon Alley, was a dedicated member of the Auror Office and fought valiantly within the Second Wizarding War. Later that night, a family was murdered in the residential terraces in close vicinity to Mr. Blackmore. A single father, Patrick Wittle, 35, and daughter Rosemary, 9, were among the victims found, alerted by a neighbor to startling noises. Mr. Wittle's wife, Sophia, 32, worked for the Ministry in Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophe's, who also lost her life in the Second Wizarding War._

_Several Death Eaters were spotted at Hogsmeade, but identities remain unconfirmed. The known Death Eaters who pose a high threat are as followed: Amycus Carrow, Merek Selwyn, Antonin Dolohov, Severus Snape, Augustus Rookwood, and Walden Macnair. Severus Snape, ex-Hogwarts Headmaster, is still at large and incredibly dangerous, noticeably for the murder of ex-Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore on 30th June 1997. Some witnesses lay claim to his possible sighting at Hogsmeade recently. Caution is advised._

_The village remains on lockdown. Any information on the whereabouts of the noted Death Eaters must be reported directly to the Auror Office._

Severus, now awake at this point, observed silently as Harry angrily flipped the pages. But Harry could read no further, as he threw the newspaper back onto the table with a look of distaste, leaning back into the couch once more in defeat. The Slytherin reached to retrieve the newspaper to mull over the article on the front page. Harry watched as his expression turned to malice.

"Remind me why I still read the _Daily Prophet_?" Harry scoffed.

"At least no _dunderhead_ spilled the beans on our attack here last night, "Severus responded tight-lipped and with a heavy sigh, he threw the paper back onto the table in the same fashion Harry did.

"Yeah, but now they are accusing _you_ of being at Hogsmeade. That's absolute rubbish. You were never there! They are doing the same thing with you, as they did with Sirius."

Severus pursed his lips, "It seems very limited few can be trusted. How's your head?"

"Before or after I read that article?" Harry rubbed a tender spot on the back of his head, which had now but a small welt remaining. It had definitely become less prominent now, but it was still incredibly sore to the touch. "It's not as bad."

"Any audible or visual disturbances? Light sensitivity? Headaches?"

"Hearing and sight are fine. The light is a little much, and I still have a wicked headache."

Without missing a beat almost in anticipation, Severus reached into his robe pocket, and pulled out a small half-empty vial, with a dropper lid. The liquid was a pleasant sea green, and Harry was surprised it hadn't smashed upon their altercation late last night. He reached over and handed it to Harry, "Three drops under the tongue should ease the tension headache."

Harry nodded, "Thanks." He took the vial and studied it carefully for a few seconds, and proceeded to extract three drops from the vial, and released it underneath his tongue. Immediately it created a warm sensation within his head and gradually started to feel some relief. He handed the vial back to Severus, gratefully.

The front door to Grimmauld Place then slammed open, causing Harry to tense again almost reaching defensively for his wand, but several pounding footsteps ascending the staircase made themselves known, as Ron, Hermione and Ginny burst through into the sitting room. Ginny immediately ran to Harry, and sat beside him, enveloping him in a hug. He had never seen her looked so worried.

"You alright, mate? We heard what happened, "Ron said, crinkling his brow. He perched himself on the armrest of the couch.

"Professor McGonagall informed us, "Hermione looked flustered, " _How_ -?"

Harry gently pulled away from Ginny, "The Death Eaters brought down the wards. Luckily, Professor McGonagall was here, because she came over to tell us about what happened at Hogsmeade late last night. The three of us only just managed to hold them off."

Ginny eyed the _Daily Prophet_ on the table, as she exchanged concerned glances from Snape to Harry, "Seems like you already read it. _Appalling_ what they wrote about Professor Snape. Mum was so livid she could barely hold her coffee this morning without spilling it," She turned a look of acknowledgment towards the morose Slytherin in the corner.

"Surely it couldn't have been -?" Hermione looked worried.

"It better _bloody_ not have been him, "Harry was frustrated, as he looked to his friends, "Are you guys okay? You didn't get attacked as well, did you?"

Ron shook his head, "No, we didn't. But Dad's worried about the Burrow, though. "

Harry inhaled sharply, "Professor McGonagall thinks we should relocate to Hogwarts."

Hermione bit her lip, raising an eyebrow in agreement, "It seems like the wiser option. If this place falls again…Where else could you go? "

Harry clenched his jaw, "I don't _want_ to go. I mean, isn't that giving them what they want? Have us scramble to another safe house like rats?"

"Harry, I know you want to stand you ground, but Hogwarts will be much safer until we find a better solution, "Ginny interjected softly.

"Well, come to the Burrow at least. I'm sure Mum – "Ron suggested.

Harry's face grew warm, as he could feel his anger rising within his chest, and his heart beating furiously. His friends meant well, but it was not that simple. He had put them all in enough danger, especially when they were attacked during Bill and Fleur's wedding, sending them on the run in the first place. Harry was done putting people in danger like that again.

In a quick burst of frustration, Harry suddenly punched the pillow beside him, causing Ginny to slightly jump, "NO, Ron! I won't put your family further at risk again!"

Ron frowned as he put his hands up defensively, "Alright, alright. Shell Cottage? I'm sure Bill and Fleur won't mind – "

Harry suddenly stood up, ignoring the soreness in his head, but feeling new energy rise and bubble within him, "You know what? NO! I'm not leaving! I'm _sick_ of running. Let them try and attack here again – I'll _kill_ them!"

Severus leaned forward in his chair, voice booming, "Potter, for Merlin's sake, _calm_ yourself!"

"CALM MYSELF?!" Harry turned to face Severus angrily, "If we don't put an end to this, they will only keep trying to kill and take _everyone_ else away! Aren't you tired of hiding?!"

"I have no other choice!" Severus pushed himself up from the chair and faced the adrenaline-filled Gryffindor with equal disdain, "I _cannot_ assist if I get thrown into Azkaban, and the Ministry will not hesitate to do it. This MUST be carefully planned."

Harry challenged, standing his ground, "I _won't_ leave, and I won't let this place fall because they want to drive us out! It's all I have left of Sirius."

Severus was now visibly furious, and Harry wasn't sure if it was upon the mention of Sirius again, or he was simply fed up with Harry's sudden outbursts. Or likely both. "Potter, you could have _DIED_ last night. You cannot be that _thick_ -headed!" A steady stream of blood began to trickle from his nose, but he was too angry with the situation to notice.

"What else do you expect me to do? Sit around on my hands again? Pretend that things will fix itself? Because they won't unless we do _something_!" Harry watched at the blood poured from the Slytherin's hooked nose, and hesitated. "Sir – "

Severus nudged his nose with the back of his hand and furrowed his brow. Hermione had already conjured a cloth and gingerly handed it to the Slytherin, who swiped it infuriatingly from her hand. He raised the cloth to his nose, clasping tightly. The room was silent once more, and all that was heard was the sickly wheeziness emanating from Severus, and Harry's heated breaths as he tried to diffuse his anger.

Ron kept his hands up, and spoke as calmly as he could, "Okay, everyone needs to _calm_ the hell down." He turned to his best friend, looking annoyed, "You want to stay, _fine_. But Harry, mate, you need to use the coin to call us. I don't care if you didn't have time. Bloody well _make_ time, alright? Delayed reinforcements are better than none."

Harry clenched his jaw stubbornly, breathing heavily through his nose like a caged predator.

Severus composed himself instantly, taking a deep breath as his face relaxed, eyebrow arched up, "Unforeseen words of wisdom. Glad to see one of you is taking initiative. Least of all from Mr. Ronald Weasley." The Slytherin paused and frowned. Harry watched as the man looked deep in thought, gaze unfocused elsewhere as if he were pondering something. Suddenly, a breath seemed to get caught in his throat, as his onyx eyes widened in a realisation of something Harry didn't know. Severus focused on Harry once more, looking slightly desperate, "When you overheard Miss Parkinson and Mr. Zabini, did they mention anything else about where else they could be watching?"

Harry scrunched up his face in confusion, "No, they were vague…why?"

Severus quickly vanished the blood-stained cloth in his hand, "Potter, I must _urgently_ request to use your Invisibility Cloak."

"Why? Where are you going?"

Severus shot him a warned glare, "Do _not_ ask questions. I will hand it back upon my return."

Harry hesitated, and returned a lazy shrug, "Fine, I suppose."

" _Stay_ here, and do _not_ follow – "Severus hastily departed the sitting room, damaged robes still billowing behind him, as he spoke the last words, leaving Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny absolutely bewildered.

* * *

Severus Snape was never a man of careless mistakes, nor did his usual professionalism allow for such errors. But Severus felt foolish. His heart raced painfully within his ribcage, once he pieced together the extraordinarily little information they had. After the events overnight, and realising his magic was weakening dangerously, it was enough to slowly crumble the wards he had set upon Order headquarters.

But Draco had told him someone was watching his house. Malfoy Manor. And Severus _knew_ this and stayed for several days to monitor the property for the potential intruder.

_I should have bloody seen this coming. Severus, you fool!_

The Malfoy's were also being watched, and yet Severus didn't quite connect those dots quick enough when Potter told him about the eavesdrop between his former Slytherin students. It was highly possible that it wasn't just Grimmauld Place that was being spied was. But also, Malfoy Manor.

Severus quickly obtained Potter's Invisibility Cloak and raced out of Grimmauld Place moving as quickly as his could. Once he reached the park across the street, he dashed behind a thick lining of trees at the stone wall and Disapparated away. Reaching his destination, he swung the Invisibility Cloak over himself, in case of any unwanted confrontations and prowled fourth.

Malfoy Manor came into view instantly, once Severus emerged from the tree line surrounding the heritage mansion. But the Slytherin took careful steps as he pressed forward, cautious of any additional wards or trap spells that the Death Eater's may have placed in their wake. As from what Severus could see, the house appeared undisturbed. With his wand securely clasped in his right hand, he outstretched it in front of him in a desperate bid to detect the wards ahead.

Once he reached the usual magical boundary, he performed a series of wand movements and drew sigils as he chanted under his breath, _"Claustrum revelio…Obex apertum…Ostendo incantatem..."_

A series of magical sparks emitted from his wand, and a mild surge from the unusual magical signature rebounded to his wand, sending a small static to his hand. Severus recoiled slightly from the magical contact. The wards had indeed been tampered with, that much was certain. He knew his already deteriorating magic had damaged the boundary he had set up when he was here previously. Obviously, at that time, he did not know this. It was a cause of deep concern, and Severus' heart began to further race within his chest.

Inhaling sharply, he proceeded to manipulate the wards once again, this time receiving no rebound shock on his attempt. Once he was satisfied with the adjusted warding, he took several strides forward, finally crossing the threshold. What he saw, shocked him.

It was like staring at the charred remnants of his house once again. But this was on a grander scale.

Malfoy Manor, and the surrounding gardens, was in ruins.

Smoke emanated from the remains of the once majestic old heritage mansion, owned by the Pureblood family for centuries. A few flames could be seen still burning and scattered throughout the remnants of the house, and within the gardens. But the damage had already been done.

He was _hours_ too late.

Severus ran forward, despite his own dwindling energy. His robes billowed behind him as he made haste, moving along the familiar paved cobblestone path. The once-mighty iron gates were visibly bent and twisted, and in some places, had snapped. The outlining pristine hedges and flowerbeds of white roses were now burnt and completely destroyed. As he continued ahead, he noticed the charred remains of the Malfoy peacocks that Lucius had favored so much, now lay dead amongst the garden remains.

The Death Eater's were out for vengeance. No one was safe. Not even the Malfoy family.

Once he reached what was left of the ebony front doors, he walked straight inside, not caring much for the crumbling walls around him. Half of the floor above had collapsed onto the ground floor due to the unstable and damaged foundations. Some rooms remained intact, but not unscathed from the fires that consumed them. Most of the old furniture was charred and destroyed. The smell of burned varnish was strong, and Severus lifted up a piece of his robe to place over his nose and mouth. He really did not want to be here, but the dread that punched him in the abdomen was too strong to ignore.

The smoke was now burning his eyes.

_"Fumos Evanesca!"_

Severus tried desperately to clear the smoke trapped in some of the rooms, which caused his eyes to water helplessly. The smoke began to slowly dissipate, but the ash still lingered in the air, coating his black robes and raven hair. He made his way through the entryway, and what was left of the sitting and small dining room. He could not reach the kitchen completely as a portion of the ceiling had caved in.

"Draco! Narcissa! _Please_ , respond!"

Severus tried to lift pieces of the debris to uncover anyone underneath, but no one was to be found. He continued to call out for their names, and with each agonising silence in between, caused panic to rise further within him. When he found no sign of life within those rooms, he headed towards the stairs leading to the upper floor. Half of the stone staircase had blast holes within them. Severus frowned and stopped to observe the strange burn marks on the floor. A duel had escalated here. Someone had entered the home, and either Draco or Narcissa must have dueled the intruder. Was it possible the fire began inside?

They were obviously caught off guard. But he could only hope they were able to escape unharmed.

As Severus ascended the staircase, he felt a shift under his feet, causing him to stop in his tracks. Everything was unstable, and he knew he shouldn't be treading here. But he could not bring himself to turn away just yet. A small fire was still burning at the top, but he cast a water charm to douse it quickly so he can continue forward. With careful steps, he reached the disastrous top next floor, feeling the foundations shake again.

"Draco, are you here? Narcissa!" Severus' voice was a struggled whisper, in his cautious effort not to stir any possible enemies that could still be around. He doubted it. He knew full well they would not have allowed themselves to get caught here. But surely one of the Malfoy's were still alive?

He crossed into the large dining room on the first floor. This one was significant, and the one room which held all of their Death Eater meetings within the last two years of the Dark Lord's reign. Death Eater's were tortured here. _He_ was tortured here. Charity Burbage had lost her life here. Nagini was here and devoured the corpse of his former colleague. _Nagini_ had been here…

Severus shivered at the mere memory, as his body tensed, thinking that the wretched snake was still around, waiting…Just for him…

Half the dining room was destroyed. Sections of the ceiling had collapsed, allowing whatever daylight was left, to pierce through the dust-filled haze. Severus was thankful today did not bring rain because he was positive that the Manor would not remain standing for long. As he approached the debris closer to the dark fireplace, he saw a familiar mess of white-blonde hair underneath.

Severus scrambled towards the charred heap, as he began to cast an assortment of charms to lift the shattered bricks, wood, and stone away from the prone form crumbled underneath. The more he removed, the more of the body he could uncover. Panic built up within him again, as he revealed his Godson and released him from being trapped underneath. Severus immediately placed his hand on his chest, feeling the boy's chest slowly rise and fall. Once he was satisfied enough, he removed his hand and placed his index and middle finger just underneath his jaw, feeling for the familiar beat of the carotid. It took a few moments for him to palpate a pulse, and that was mainly due to his own inner panic and slightly tremoring hand his own curse was causing. Once he felt the familiar pulse, he released the breath he didn't realise he was holding.

Draco Malfoy was alive.

His Godson was unconscious, but alive.

Severus glanced over the boy's prone form, in search for obvious injuries. There was a large laceration on his left thigh. Noticeable burn marks to his legs, arms, and chest, all evident due to the pieces of clothing that had burnt off. Draco's left arm was bent at an awkward angle – a possible fracture, or dislocation. There were bruises and cuts all over the boy's face, likely due to the debris he was almost crushed by. His white-blonde hair filled with blood and ash, along with the white shirt he was wearing. There was no way he was going to wake Draco, and he needed to get him to safety first. He picked up his wand laying idly beside him and pocketed it for safety. Without thinking of anything else, he gently scooped up the teenager within his arms – feeling silently thankful he was on the thinner side – and carefully made his way downstairs.

As he left the still crumbling remains of Malfoy Manor, he did a further visual sweep for any sign of the Malfoy matriarch, but there was no sign of her anywhere. Feeling guilty enough for leaving without her, he carried his Godson to the boundary of the wards and Disapparated away. Upon reappearing at the familiar park across from Grimmauld Place, he barged through the doors and set Draco down carefully on the floor in the entryway, and he shrugged the Invisibility Cloak off from them.

He wasn't looking forward to what was about to escalate, but there really was no alternative.

As soon as Severus withdrew his wand, the thunderous sounds of teenagers bounding down the old wooden staircase were enough to cause him further frustrations at his new predicament. He stood up, and cast a non-verbal _Mobilicorpus_ , as Draco's unconscious form levitated off the ground to waist height.

" _What_ in the bloody hell – "Mr. Weasley was the first to the bottom of the stairs, with a mixed expression of bewilderment and anger. Miss Weasley directly behind, followed by Potter and Granger.

"OUT OF THE WAY!" Severus bellowed as he barged through the Gryffindors, making his way upstairs to the vacant single room on the third floor.

"Snape, when I suggested you go and talk to him, I didn't mean bring him _here_!" Potter was equally as livid as his friend were, and that further frustrated Severus.

"Once I attend to Draco's wounds immediately, I will answer your _blasted_ questions, "Severus finally made it to the third floor – now thankfully repaired - and gently lowered the unconscious Slytherin onto the bed, "Miss Granger, in the potions lab downstairs, I have a glass jar of the purple-tinged burn salve. Retrieve that, along with murtlap essence, the labeled aqua-colored antibiotic, an extra-strength analgesic potion, and a Wiggenweld potion. _Now_ , Granger, no dawdling!"

Severus barked out orders to the older female Gryffindor, who immediately darted downstairs to obtain what he needed. He turned back towards the unconscious teenager, and gently shifted his broken arm into a better position. He would need to brew a batch of Skele-Gro, as he had absolutely nothing on hand, and he was more than a little afraid to attempt a bone-mending spell, knowing that his own magic was currently unpredictable. He didn't need a silly Lockhart incident.

"Potter, make yourself useful and conjure a large stack of bandages, and a splint – "Severus gave Potter a quick glance, knowing full well the magical predicament he was in. Luckily, Potter did so without further question and placed the supplies on the table beside him. Severus allowed his wand to trace over Draco's prone form, as the light on the tip of his wand began to spark an assortment of colors, enabling him to perform a magical assessment to the best of his ability. Potter stood silently, and watched, visibly intrigued – and likely annoyed – by the teenage Slytherin rival laying uninvited into his home. Into Order headquarters.

A few minutes later, Granger returned with the required supplies. Severus turned to the nosey Gryffindors standing idly by, not knowing what else to do, "Privacy is needed, so I can stabalise him. I don't require an audience." Severus paused and drew in a deep breath, "However, I do have another task for you. If you could prep the potions lab downstairs, and retrieve the ingredients needed for Skele-Gro – have it ready for me. Do _not_ prep the ingredients, and do _not_ start brewing. I will be doing it. I need to ensure its potency is sufficient. Now, _leave_."

There was not another word from the Gryffindors, as they slowly turned to leave, closing the door behind them.

Good. He wasn't in the mood to argue with them yet.

With a wave of his wand, Severus carefully peeled some of the pieces of fabric which had remained stuck against Draco's burned pieces of flesh. Once he was satisfied, he grabbed the burn salve and began to gently apply it to the areas with the broken skin. The burns themselves were not horrific, but there were sections of his arms and legs which had lost a few layers of skin. Some sections were already blistering, but the burn salve will at least cool the skin and provide some relief upon his waking. Then using the new bandages Potter had conjured for him, he slowly began to wrap the most affected areas of skin, sealing in the burn salve for it to take effect. Once he was done with that tedious process, he grabbed the murtlap essence and underwent the same process with the cuts and abrasions all over his pale skin.

Turning towards the laceration on his leg, he traced the wound with his wand, and spoke several healing charms, and watched as the skin began to knit together. The spell, once finished, left behind a slightly thickened scar, which was a small price to pay. At least he didn't lose his leg.

Lastly, he turned to the boy's broken left arm, most noticeably swollen around his elbow and shoulder, and gently wrapped the splint and the bandage around the arm, holding it securely in place. It would have to do until he could brew the Skele-Gro. Until then, he had the analgesic and Wiggenweld potions ready until his waking. Taking the standard magically charged antibiotic, he had brewed a few weeks ago for emergencies, he gently shifted Draco's jaw to open his mouth. Taking the dropper, he began to measure and extract the thin liquid, and applied it underneath his tongue for it to absorb directly into his bloodstream efficiently as possible. He recorked the potion and placed it beside the others on the bedside table.

For now, his heart rate was stable, as was his breathing.

Draco just needed to rest.

Severus placed a charm on the boy's bed, to signal any movement and alert him when he wakes. For now, this was all he could do.

He stared at the sleeping Slytherin for a few moments in guilt, brushing some of the lengthened blonde locks away from his eyes. At least in this form, he wasn't yelling accusations and misunderstandings at him. He needed no more stung words from him. Once he placed a single blanket over his Godson, he pocketed his wand, along with Draco's – so he didn't try and do anything foolish – and exited the room. He did all he could, and the boy will be able to recover. Once he finally awoke, he can question him about what had transpired at the Manor, and the whereabouts of his mother.

One worry at a time.

The Potions Master made his way swiftly to the potion's laboratory in the basement, ignoring his own pounding headache. He had been unable to rest completely in the last few days, upon their recent attack at Grimmauld Place, and now Malfoy Manor. He was wary and run-down, but he had to keep going. He had been sleep-deprived lately, either due to his unsettling mind, or the frequent stabbing pain emanating from his neck. The pain was tiring, and he barely had time to create a stronger analgesic for himself.

For now, his focus was on his Godson, and Po – _Harry_.

He ended up taking the boy's advice, and only called him Harry in private. His name felt foreign on his tongue, but there was a sense of civility with the name. Less antagonistic, as per his usual stance. But after years of calling him Potter, it was not something he could easily wrap his mind around. Calling _Harry_ , to Severus, felt almost like a self-made insult. As if he was undeserving of speaking the name, and indirectly, what he put the child through. Calling him _Harry_ felt too personal, and he wasn't sure exactly how to feel about that. It felt wrong to him, even though his days as a spy are finally over. Like he was expecting the Dark Lord to torture him upon the slip of the name, as with the anticipation for something that was not going to happen. It was now unfamiliar territory.

Being there for him, was unfamiliar territory. And for once, he was treading through it alone, on instinct and not by orders.

Since the official end of the War and his own brush with death, he realised that he harbored a measure of respect for the boy, and one he never knew he was capable of displaying. He was deeply disturbed by his conversation with Albus upon allowing the boy to welcome death himself. After doing his best to keep the boy alive for years, only to have no choice but to allow Lily's son to die. Since that revelation, Severus could not help but feel guilty and wished there was more he could do. What _could_ he do? His hands were tied, to both sides. His role, although important, was also painfully limited. He trained himself to keep his distance as best he could because any closeness with the boy would result in slip-ups which could have easily cost him his life.

For years he has looked after the boy from a distance, ensuring his safety, but far enough away to avoid any sense of emotional attachment. Now since the Wars end, all that seemed to slowly crumble away, causing Severus to feel incredibly uneasy with this new path he never expected to take. He _could_ have left – fled the wizarding world entirely – but he was compelled to stay. And now, the prospect of seeing the boy in danger caused his chest to constrict with deepened guilt and whatever measure of compassion he seemingly developed during that time. That was unlike him and all, and yet, all those emotions he spent boxed up since childhood were slowly being released out into the ether.

His soul was changing, and perhaps he realised it was not as cold as he had disciplined himself to be. His heart was beating, and now any mode of danger from Harry, and even Draco, sent it racing in panic and fear. As if they were still _his_ responsibility.

As for Draco, he understood why he could not put faith in Severus. Their faltering relationship was indeed a painful strain, but he dealt with it. Draco felt betrayed by him. Family, essentially, who changed sides without them knowing, was sure to create some friction. But Severus did not want to give up on that family he known since his student days. He could not bring himself to turn away. Narcissa reached out with concern for her son's safety, and Severus obliged without question. But Draco was difficult to reason with. He was not as forgiving and empathetic as Harry. Two very different teenagers, with two very different problems.

Severus had no choice but to bring him to Order headquarters – and Harry's home, _technically_ – but where else could they go?

Both Draco and Harry were marked for death by his former dark cohorts, and the very least he could do was keep them both within his sights until the others were safely captured and thrown into Azkaban.

On his way downstairs, he hastily stripped off his smoke and debris-filled traveling cloak and strode downstairs to the basement to where the four Gryffindors were standing around the potions bench chatting away. As soon as he opened the door, they all stopped and watched as their former Professor entered their company. Neither of them said a thing, and Severus could sense all the questions they had circling in their teenage minds. They scooted away from the bench automatically, anticipating the upcoming tension, as Severus began preparing the Skele-Gro in silence.

He grabbed five single scarab beetles, threw them into the mortar and pestle, and began grinding it a little more intensely than usual. Severus was rather mad with himself because _he_ caused this. His magic was the reason both residences had fallen, and their protections vanished. He made no effort to hide his rising anger. For once, he had no one else to blame but himself.

Feeling four sets of eyes watching his every move, he inhaled deeply, trying to settle his rage, "Malfoy Manor was attacked hours ago. I have reason to believe it happened simultaneously to our attack last night."

There was an uncomfortable pause within the room, and the only thing that could be heard was the grinding of the mortar, which sounded more like nails on a blackboard. Every grind made even the Slytherin wince, as he grew more irritable by the second. At this point, he was barely concentrating on his current task, because all that ran through his mind was the persistent nagging failure in the crevices of his being, which caused him far more self-loathing than he ever anticipated. He failed them. He failed _both_ boys who needed help, and he couldn't do a damn thing.

What _good_ was he?

Feeling the agonizing silence in the room drive him mad, he slammed his left hand suddenly on the wooden table, causing it to shift from the force across the floor. Some of the empty cauldrons toppled on their side, as a small copper once rolled and hit the floor with a loud deafening CLANK. A few empty glass vials hit the floor and shattered, along with some jars containing liquid ingredients that smashed and pooled all over the cold stone floor. Severus dropped the pestle forcefully onto the table and leaned forward with both hands firmly resting on its edge. He shut his eyes tightly and willed himself to focus and stabilise his breaths, drawing upon his Occlumency to push back those strong emotions which fought quickly to the surface of his mind. He was exhausted, and his mind would not cooperate.

And people often wondered why he chose to seal away some of those emotions. Because it's like trying to capture water once it's spilled over the edge. Once it is released, it is harder to contain.

The youngest Weasley gasped, "P-professor!"

Granger had jumped back from the sudden movement, causing Mr. Weasley to clasp onto her shoulder. Granger shakily withdrew her wand and began to clean up the mess on the floor, but the angry Potion's Master growled under his breath.

"Get _out_. All of you!" Severus took a few steps towards them, but his legs suddenly buckled with stress, but he felt a wooden stool slide across the stone floor right underneath him as he sat down. His hands clenched into fists, turning his knuckles white, as one by one the Gryffindors left the room.

Except for the Golden Boy.

"That _also_ implies to you, Potter."

"Oh, so we are back to _Potter,_ now are we?"

Severus ran a hand over his face, " _Now_ is not the time."

Harry slid over the other stool, and sat down close by, " _What_ happened?"

Severus clenched his jaw staring at the idle cauldron on the floor, "The last time I was at Malfoy Manor, Draco had informed me that he _presumed_ he saw someone at their boundary, watching them. I stayed for several days to monitor it and found no other evidence. I set up and strengthened the wards that day, "He turned to Harry beside him, looking defeated, " _They_ were attacked, as we were. Their wards fell because my magic is losing strength." He then looked away, repulsed with himself.

"…Where is Narcissa?"

Severus winced, "I do not know. The Manor is in ruins. I searched but found no trace of her."

"Look, I'm not happy that Draco is here, but there really was no other choice, was there?"

Severus shook his head solemnly, "No, there was not. "

"Did you need help with the rest of the potion?"

Severus turned back to Harry, responding as calmly as he could, "Leave it to me. I just need time to…process my thoughts."

"Next time you decide to _venture_ out there, let me accompany you – " Harry sighed, "If your magic is deciding to throw in the towel, then what if your Apparition is affected? You may not be able to get back."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'll figure it out."

"Now look who is being careless."

Severus frowned, looking grimly back at the Gryffindor, "I _couldn't_ allow you to go in my place, Harry. I made the decision to tackle it alone because I could not afford another near-miss with you in my vicinity. Last night was far too close."

Harry offered a light smirk, "…That's a very Gryffindor thing to say. "

Severus eyed Harry looking highly offended by the remark, "Merlin _forbid_ , "He paused for a moment before continuing, "Albus once told me that he thinks we sort too soon."

Harry caught the man's eye as he faltered and looked away.

The Gryffindor shook his head in confusion as he leaned his elbow against the table, peering up at the man before him with much curiosity, "Wait, you mean to tell me _you_ could have been in Gryffindor?"

Severus looked disgusted, "…Tell anyone, and I'll have you hanged."

"Well for the record, the Sorting Hat was going to place me in Slytherin. I mean, you saw that during Occlumency. How's that for irony?"

There was a _hmpf_ from Severus, with a hint of amusement within his dark eyes, "A fortunate blessing. That could have been…highly problematic. For the both of us, most definitely."

"Well, at least you may have been able to take fewer house points off me."

"As if my job wasn't _already_ difficult, "Severus picked up the pestled again, and dragged the mortar with the scarab beetles inside, ready to try again, "Now, go join the rest of your Gryffindors."

"Are you sure you don't need any help? I can send Hermione to complete the potion for you."

"I am perfectly capable," Severus' responded with a blank expression, but inwardly, he smiled.

Harry nodded, as he made his way towards the stairs and disappeared through the door without another word. Severus drew in a gentle breath and released it slowly. He needed to pull himself together and manage his anger. What's done is done. He could not change what had happened, but he could do his best to approach things a little differently. It felt strange not to take orders from either Albus or the Dark Lord. For once in his life, he was free to make his own decisions upon his own personal judgment. No longer was he morally restricted by either faction, and that already was a welcome release off his shoulders. He was here, and he was alive, and he will be sure to keep those children upstairs safe for as long as he still lived.

Now, this was _his_ choice. The same choice that had him remain by Albus' side, even far beyond the death of Lily. Staying was his choice, too. He could have easily fled from the Hogwarts Headmaster on the night Lily died, but he chose to stay and fight. He turned against the darkness to fight for her and the only living person of her blood as a result of her sacrifice. He turned against the darkness because it had failed him.

The light, although minute and small, was still there.

And he will be damned to let it slip from his grasp this time.


	39. Silver and Gold

* * *

**NOTES:** Hope you enjoy this chapter! I had a lot of fun writing this one! ^_^ Things are a little heated, but it will get better, I promise!

* * *

CHAPTER 39: Silver and Gold

Tensions ran high in the Grimmauld Place household the moment Draco Malfoy entered the fold.

Harry's Hogwarts rival was currently occupying the single bedroom upstairs, being attended to by Severus Snape amidst the teenager's injuries. In Order of the Phoenix headquarters. In his _home_. He clearly had mixed feelings about it and had already discussed that previously with Hermione. Although he could never set aside his differences with the Slytherin, he never wanted to wish ill upon him. In a way, he did feel a twinge of sympathy for him. Draco appeared to be in a state of isolation from the rest of the wizarding world, due to his current social troubles. No one else had heard from him since the Battle of Hogwarts, and it was a mystery to Harry what had become of him after their last meeting.

Now, he knew.

Harry didn't trust the Slytherin, but if they were going to ask for his help, this was the only opportunity he could get. If Draco really did wholeheartedly switch sides, then it was a risk worth taking.

Since Severus had rescued the Malfoy from his home, the older Slytherin had been tinkering away in the potions laboratory in the basement stocking up on medicinal potions for both Draco and himself. Harry had gone down to check on the man occasionally, but Severus still sent him away, determined to deal with it himself. He figured he'd allow the man to further cool off, given his earlier outburst. Meanwhile, Draco had remained asleep without further disturbances, and still not a sound from him as it approached late that night.

Harry asked for the others to stay, merely on the grounds that he didn't trust himself with Draco in their midst, and vice versa. Ron was predictably reluctant, but agreed to stay, along with Hermione and Ginny. It was an odd arrangement at headquarters, as it now became more of a halfway home for the injured, sick, and targeted witches and wizards with nowhere else to go. Which, Harry did suggest initially when they decided to reclaim Grimmauld Place when he agreed to it being a safe house. But now with Severus, and the addition of Draco, Harry felt a little uneasy about the idea.

Severus, surprisingly and over time, was not a terrible company that Harry had expected. At first, it took much getting used to. Hogwarts gave him the luxury of limited interaction with the then-Professor, and back then, even those interactions were more than enough to tolerate. Although the brooding Slytherin did prefer time alone, Harry actually did enjoy the conversations that they often shared now. That is if they weren't being absolute hotheads and snapping at each other with snarky remarks on occasion, but it seemed to be less malicious and more habitual antagonistic behavior.

However, after seven years, Harry could finally pick his brain to a tolerable degree and it gave him a measure of relief that he could finally find answers to questions he had been seeking for so long. Questions that no one else could answer, but him. Especially since Dumbledore kept so much from him, he had no one else to confront. Harry had become so used to Severus' company, that it seemed like a normal affair to sit in front of the fireplace, engaging in strangely civil conversation over tea, or assisting him with potions without being asked, which was far from how they used to be back at Hogwarts. They couldn't stand the sight of each other before… _everything_. Severus no longer treated Harry like an insolent child and inferior to him, but instead, like an equal. An adult. It was obvious that he had trust in Harry. That alone, and coming from Severus, was sincere and meant a great deal to him. More than even Severus could understand himself.

Harry had to wonder if this was all real, and not just his imagination and mind playing tricks on him Well, it wasn't the first time. Both were bound to similar fates, and he couldn't help but be grateful upon the new, unforeseen connection they both shared. If Harry had trusted Severus years ago when Dumbledore told him to, could this have been possible earlier? Trust did walk a fine line, even regarding Severus' life-long animosity with James. Could they have at least developed some kind of truce? Harry was mad at himself for being so stubborn and not listen to him earlier. Or even Dumbledore for that matter. If only those Occlumency lessons did not strengthen the already vehement rift between them, then perhaps they would have been able to forge a better camaraderie. If only Harry could take back the horrible things he said about him over the years, and his unfair retaliation against him, he definitely would have.

But neither were meant to work together in that way, and Harry was never meant to know about Severus' loyalties until it was too late. Severus never wanted him to know his true motivations out of personal shame and diminished pride.

And given Severus' new revelation about being apologetic to Harry about his punishment of his father's actions, he was almost positive he would have wanted to take that all back as well. Harry was always a forgiving type of person, sometimes infuriatingly so. But Severus? The _Snape_ he grew up hating with a burning passion? He never even dreamed that forgiveness was ever a part of his personal repertoire. That was more of a shock to Harry to ponder.

They both felt rather foolish and equally as guilty as each other. That much was obvious.

Perhaps they really weren't that different after all.

* * *

It was not until two days later when Draco finally awoke late in the evening. Severus had been in the laboratory with Ron and Harry slicing and powdering ingredients for their slowly growing potions supplies when the Slytherin's black wand emitted a single blue spark as it rested on the wooden bench. Severus immediately placed a stasis charm on the Pepperup potion he was brewing, when he picked up his wand, and bounded out of the basement without a word, with the two Gryffindor's at his heel. Severus had placed an alarm charm on Draco's bed to let him know when it detected a shift. Harry had wondered if Madam Pomfrey had taught him that spell, given the number of rebellious students who ended up in the Hospital Wing, and refused to listen to her advice to stay put.

Given the blue spark, it seemed like the younger Slytherin was finally awake.

Hermione and Ginny had been in the sitting room chatting away when the other three ran up the stairs led by Severus to the third-floor bedroom where Draco was occupying.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I?! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY WAND?!"

_…He's awake._

Before Harry and Ron could reach them, Severus immediately threw up his palm to silently halt the Gryffindors in their position and hurriedly told them to back away out of view. Ron curled his fists into a ball with a look of malice upon his face, as Harry gently nudged him back away from view of the door. Harry really didn't know how to feel about this, either. His mixed feelings all came down to how Draco was going to react and given the furious younger Slytherin locked in his room like a caged animal, it was only going to plummet from there. Hermione and Ginny waited on the stairwell below in silence, anticipating the fresh hell that was about to arise.

A twist in his gut told Harry that this was a terrible idea.

The four Gryffindors watched with bated breath as Severus waved his wand to unlock the door, and slipped inside, closing the door gently behind him. Harry and his friends exchanged worried glances, all except Ron who still looked furious, cheeks flushed red. It was silent amongst them for a few minutes, as Harry's anxiety began to increase. They could hear the muffled voices within the room, but it was only until their voices started to rise, could they make out what was being said.

"You cannot be serious!"

"I assure you Draco, that there was _no_ alternative."

"How the hell did this even happen? YOU said we were safe!"

"You were. Until it was compromised."

"You're a liar! I don't trust a word you say. Who else is here?"

There was a hushed whisper, and a sudden shattering of broken glass, which Harry could only presume was one of the healing potions Severus attempted to give him. He winced when he realised, he did the same thing not long ago when Harry awoke from one of his nightmares. He could only wonder when Severus would eventually lose any shred of patience he had left with them all. In a tiny flicker of nostalgia, he understood briefly why Severus' was always so frustrated with his students during class.

"I want my wand!"

"That will _not_ happen until I can further trust you with it. If you do not cooperate, then it will remain in my possession until I see fit to hand it back."

"You can't do that!"

"As your _Godfather_ , I most certainly can."

There was a dangerous pause, "Fine! Now let me out of this bloody room before I lose my mind."

"You need to rest and give your bones a chance to mend. You have serious burns and a sprained ankle. Have some common sense."

"I REFUSE TO BE STUCK IN THE SAME HOUSE AS POTTER!"

Harry crossed his arms over his chest, looking over at his friends with the same uneasy look they all shared. Well, at least Severus had the sense to take his wand off him. Although if Harry himself didn't control his own frustrations, he was worried the adult Slytherin would do the same to him.

There was a small silence as Severus exited the room, looking absolutely fed up already. He stared at the Gryffindors with a steely gaze, "Enjoying the eavesdrop, are we?" The teenagers shook their heads, not wanting to verbally respond. He took two strides towards the Gryffindors and glared at each one individually before continuing with the softest voice he could muster, which was even more unnerving when he was clearly angry, "I have left his door unlocked. If I hear further nonsense or arguments from either of you when he emerges, Merlin help me, I will not be able to contain my anger. I have informed him of the same."

Harry nodded. Sounds reasonable.

Severus crossed his arms over his chest, "I will not tolerate any petty childish antics from _either_ of you. Understood?"

"But Snape – "Ron started to protest.

Severus eyed the Weasley dangerously, "-I _said_ understood?"

There was a collective nod, except for Ron who continued to arch his lip in a slight sneer.

"Now, I want all four of you to wait in the sitting room. We will be joining you shortly. Draco has agreed to co-operate, much to his displeasure, and join you downstairs, "Severus sighed, "We will be having an important chat, whether you agree to it or not. There is much to discuss."

Harry nodded on behalf of them, as they turned to slowly descend the stairs and wait in the sitting room as requested, leaving Severus Snape to stand by Draco's door.

Well, this was what Harry had plans to do upon approaching Draco, but on _his_ terms. Not of Severus'. He wanted _some_ measure of control, and now regarding the assault on Malfoy Manor, he had no other choice but to try and reason with his rival upon Severus' presence. He honestly didn't anticipate how this was going to pan out. Was it a mistake making Draco aware of the location of Headquarters? Would Severus treat Harry with disdain in the presence of the younger Slytherin? Would Draco agree to help them? Maybe they might all be surprised, but it was clear Severus did not want to be dealing with further grudges from any of the teenagers within his vicinity.

Frankly, Harry could agree he didn't want to be dealing with it either.

When Harry saw Draco last in the few days following the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts, he told the Slytherin that he was tired of fighting. There were clearly more important things happening, and he could only hope Draco didn't forget that conversation. Harry didn't have the energy to fight him then, and still didn't now. They had all suffered enough. Harry had lost. Draco had lost. Both _did_ recognise that. But that was over a month ago – Did Draco still feel the same?

Harry sat down gingerly in the sitting room, steepling his fingers in nervous anticipation, with Ginny by his side. Ron's face seemed to still be hot with anger, as he sat beside Hermione on the opposite couch. Hermione's eyes shifted worryingly from each person in the room, leaving them all in silence. Waiting.

What seemed like twenty minutes later, they finally heard two sets of footsteps descend the stairs, and soon enough both Draco and Severus entered the room. The four pairs of eyes already present were glaring at the extra Slytherin as he walked in. The tension was so heavy, you could carve it with a knife. Draco's pale face was twisted in what looked like a permanent sneer and it was clear that he did not want to be here, as much as Harry wanted him there. Either way, they were about to test their limits. Severus was nudging Draco forward with his hand on his shoulder, but Draco roughly tore himself away from his Godfather in annoyance. Severus bared his teeth and pointed wordlessly to the empty single chair for Draco to sit, who did so gingerly, not tearing his gaze away from Harry. Severus lowered himself into the opposite sofa, shifting his observant gaze between Harry and Draco. Harry could have sworn the older Slytherin had rolled his eyes.

"Now, if you are done glaring holes into each other's pupils, I must enforce that we are in discussion only. No magic, no physical violence…Just _clarification_ , "Severus spoke firmly as he surely had many conversations previously within this manner, "As much as to the disapproval of the Gryffindors, I had no other choice but to bring Draco to Order headquarters."

There was a murmur from Draco, who eyed Severus with venomous disdain.

Severus shot an angry side glance at his Godson, "Did you prefer I leave you at St. Mungo's instead, so you could be potentially _attacked_ in your sleep?"

"Might have spared me from having to be in the same room as _these_ self-righteous – "

"- _Hold_ your tongue, Draco," Severus narrowed his eyes, "Now, for the rest of you – Draco is going to enlighten us regarding what he knows. If any."

"Why on earth should I tell _them_?" Draco spat, "It's none of their bloody business."

The older Slytherin curled his lips in contempt, "Because as much as you _detest_ it, we all have the same common goal. It is our business because we are collectively hunting down our deranged Death Eater cohorts and stop them from harming anyone else within their twisted retaliation efforts. They are planning more than just petty attacks and gruesome parlor tricks."

Draco tapped his fingers against the armrest, " _Still_ not a good enough reason."

Ron inhaled sharply, looking mad, "Malfoy, you lunatic. Be bloody thankful Snape saved your backside! We don't like you here anymore than you do."

"Since when do _you_ support Snape, you pathetic – "

" _That'll_ do Mr. Weasley. _Draco_ , "Severus' voice boomed, as he redirected his vision to Draco, "Now, I need you to explain what had happened at the Manor. I believe your mother is missing, correct?"

Draco paused, looking uncomfortable. His left arm was currently in a sling. His pointed pale face had multiple cuts etched into his skin. From what Harry could see, the younger Slytherin had some small burns on his arms, now mostly healed since Severus had brought him in a few days ago. But the teenager looked defeated. The usual air of arrogance on the boy was, although still there, seemingly dimmed by the flicker of fear behind his steel-grey blue eyes. There was a haunting loneliness within him that Harry could see, and perhaps it was due to being isolated within the last month, escaping the desperate grasp of his colleagues now turned into enemies. His friends had seemingly abandoned him, and his family gone. Like Harry and Severus, he and his mother had been targeted by those Death Eaters scrambling to make their last mark known. Desperate to take down both the Boy Who Lived, the Half-Blood traitor, and Lucius' prodigal son in a last-ditch effort to finish what their tyrant Master had started.

Harry bit his lip, "We'll help you find her. We have missing, too. But you _have_ to tell us what you know, so we can work on getting them back safely. We can only do this working together."

Draco's eyes narrowed at Harry, feeling out of his league and outnumbered. He shifted within his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the many pairs of eyes staring back at him. He took a last helpless glance at Severus, then back to the others. He sighed heavily, " _Fine_. I don't have any other bloody choice if I don't get stuck here with you lot for all eternity, "Draco paused for a few moments, trying to search for the right words, "My mother and I were home – We barely ever left the safety of the Manor since the Dark Lord was defeated. Ever since then, any time I left the house, I got attacked. Not just by Death Eaters, but…everyone _else_. My family name has been smeared – _tainted_ \- and I've never felt more of a _target_ in my life. Anyway, we ended up with intruders in our home. Our wards must have fallen…I remember seeing Dolohov and Macnair, and a few others. But they found their way inside and caught us off guard. The Death Eaters asked me to rejoin them, but I blatantly refused. A duel broke out. They disarmed my mother, and one Apparated away with her. One of the others set fire to the bloody house, but it became too unstable. They sent three stunners my way and knocked me off my feet. I must have blacked out after that because I don't remember anything else. The next thing I remember is bloody waking up _here_."

Severus frowned, leaning forward in his chair, "What else did they say when they offered you reprieve?"

"Either I join them or have me suffer the consequences. But my mother wouldn't have any of that, and she attacked them first to drive them away. When she was disarmed, they…." Draco swallowed thickly, looking distasteful, "…They _hit_ her. They kept asking me again and again for me to join them. They continued to hit her, but Mum pleaded for me not to say yes. One eventually took her away, and the _other_ imbeciles attacked me. They set the place on fire and left me to die."

Harry cast a heartfelt glance at Severus, whose face softened. The older Slytherin drew in a gentle breath, "Did they mention anything about where they took her?"

Draco shook his head, "No, they didn't. Well, I don't really remember. But they did laugh about the Hogsmeade diversion. "

"Diversion?" Harry looked confused.

"Of course, "Severus leaned back into his chair deep in thought, "It surely wasn't a coincidence on the same night Hogsmeade was attacked, was the same time both Malfoy Manor _and_ Grimmauld Place were targeted."

"So that whatever available Aurors could flee to Hogsmeade, leaving them in a primary position to attack, removing those defenses. That makes complete sense, "Hermione interjected.

Harry nodded in agreement, finally turning back to Draco, "What can you tell us about Pansy and Blaise?"

Draco scrunched up his face in disgust, " _Those_ idiots? Your guess is as good as mine. I haven't had contact with them since Hogwarts. They were happy enough calling _me_ a traitor when I turned against the Dark Lord."

"I overheard them plotting. They mentioned that they were watching the house. We assumed they meant here, but it turns out they were watching yours as well, "Harry explained.

Draco slowly nodded, "Yeah, I noticed someone prowling around the boundaries, but I couldn't see their face. I figured they were just waiting for one of us to leave. I didn't think they were planning on _actually_ paying us a visit to our _bloody_ doorstep."

Severus frowned, turning to Draco, "Your mother's wand, Draco, where is it?"

The younger Slytherin shrugged, "No idea. Why?"

Severus paused slightly, "Perhaps we could use it to track your mother, and possibly lead us to the others, as we did with Miss Weasley's wand."

Draco raised his eyebrow at Ginny in disbelief, "Wait, _you_ were taken?" Ginny hesitated but nodded slowly. The Slytherin turned back towards his Godfather, slowly piecing together the information, "The Quarry, I'm assuming?"

Severus nodded curtly, "Yes."

"So, are you going to work with us, or not?" Harry finally asked.

Draco eyed Harry frustratingly, looking sour, "I suppose I don't have any other choice, _Potter_. I just refuse to take orders from _you_. "

"Deal with it already, "Ginny fired back, "Be lucky you are alive, for goodness sake."

"Yeah, I'm absolutely _thrilled_ , "Draco mocked, "So what is this ghastly place, anyway? Looks like it was constructed with matchsticks."

"Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, "Severus answered, coolly.

Draco rolled his eyes, "You _can't_ be serious? The society that Dumbledore supposedly put together? I don't suppose you lot have a stupid secret handshake or something. I just might barf."

"You're just jealous you ended up on the wrong side, you _numpty_!" Ron snarled.

"- For Merlin's sake, _ENOUGH_ , "Severus hissed, as he tensely bawled his fist, and spoke through bared teeth, "I will _not_ have you clawing at each other like children! Get a _hold_ of yourselves. I will not tolerate such appalling behavior."

"I want my wand back!" Draco challenged.

"Not a chance tonight, Draco. I will keep it in my possession until I deem you appropriate for it once again, "Severus slowly, and gingerly, rose up from his chair, "Furthermore, you are to rest and recover. You are due for another dose of Skele-Gro and antibiotics within the hour, so I suggest you get yourself settled upstairs for the night." He turned to the Gryffindors, "As with all of you. We will discuss this further tomorrow. We have a lot of ground to cover, including laying down some house rules."

Harry groaned.

"I will escort you back to your room, Draco – "Severus motioned for Draco to follow, and the younger Slytherin shot Harry a bitter look, as both left the room.

Harry drew in a deep breath, and exchanged exhausted glances with the others, "Well, that went well."

Hermione bit her lip, "I sure hope this works out. I do feel kind of bad for him, though. I hope his mother is alright."

"Well, he had a chance to take their offer and he didn't, "Ginny spoke, "That says a lot, even at the expense of his mother. Draco wouldn't turn away from us if it means getting her back."

Harry nodded, "I believe so, too. After we rescue her, we don't have to associate with him anymore. Besides, we still haven't found Lee, and the other twenty or so prisoners they have with them. I'd hate to be the one saying this, but Draco is a strong wizard - we can't deny that. We definitely need the added numbers on our side. And like Snape, they both know how the Death Eaters operate."

Ron grumbled, "He is not going to be fun to work with."

"No, but if anything, Snape will be able to keep an eye on him, "Hermione added, "I mean, by the looks of it, he didn't trust _him_ with his wand. "

"Thank Merlin for that, "Ron said.

Harry rose up from his chair, "Right, I'm getting some shut-eye."

Ron didn't move from the couch.

"You coming, Ron?" Hermione asked.

Ron grumbled, "Hell no. I'm sleeping here again. Bad enough sleeping in the same house as _Snape_ , but on the same floor as Malfoy? You're off your rocker if you think I'm going to do that."

Ginny stifled a laugh, "Cheer up, Ronald. I hear the attic might be cozy."

Hermione grinned, as she stood up with Ginny, "It's _only_ short-term, Ron. Although if you want to go back to the Burrow, I won't hold it against you."

"And leave you two with Malfoy? I'd rather stay. I don't trust him, "Ron huffed.

Harry smirked, as he threw a pillow at Ron, "Sweet dreams, Ron."

Hermione and Ginny made their way to the double single bedroom on the same floor as the sitting room, while Harry made his way to his own on the fourth floor. As he passed the room where Draco would be staying during his ascent of the stairs, he heard a few more hushed voices and yet another heated discussion between him and Severus.

"I just want her back. I don't _care_ about anyone else."

"You are going to work with us, and we will set this right. They will hunt you – _us_ \- down, for as long as they are alive."

"I-I can't work with _them_."

"I understand, Draco. This is _difficult_ , I know. You were admirable in turning against the Dark Lord…against your family's wishes. That takes immense bravery - "

"- Stop being so bloody condescending!"

There was a tense pause, followed by a frustrated sigh, "We are _all_ out of our comfort zones. Everything has changed now. But now you must trust us… _Me_. Trust _me_ , if not them. I assure you that they are not happy about this arrangement as you are."

There was a desperate whimper, which Harry recognised came from Draco, "…Everyone has gone. Everyone has left me."

Harry's heart skipped a few beats. It was a familiarity he knew all too well.

"Not everyone, Draco. You have _myself_ , and we will do everything in our power to bring your mother back safely. I reassured her I would keep you safe."

Harry had heard enough. He slowly made his way back to his bedroom, replaying that conversation within his mind over and over again. He felt a new pang of sympathy for Draco, his Hogwarts rival for seven years. He knew what it felt like to lose people. To feel so isolated and alone. To feel like no one really cared. Although Hogwarts was a different era for Harry, his time at the Dursley's did no such favor. His childhood was spent alone. He had no friends. No parents to love him. His pre-Hogwarts classmates taunted him and labeled him things like 'freak', 'scarface', 'creep', 'loner', well before he knew he was a wizard. He was thrown across the wall when he burnt the meals he cooked. If a chore wasn't done on time, they deprived him of meals, sometimes days at a time. If he did so much as look at Dudley in a threateningly way, he would get locked back in the cupboard. One spill on the carpet earned a mighty slap across the face leaving bruises and a bloodied nose, even though it was never his fault. Dudley did that and always blames him. But they always made him feel like everything was his fault.

Draco had had far more than Harry. At least he grew up with parents and immediate family…But he just didn't know the extent of the love that was there. If it ever was. But now, all that was taken from him in an instant, and Harry knew. He knew that feeling of losing everything. He knew that feeling of powerlessness and diminished hope. He knew that feeling of knowing that things will never be okay. Ambition now seemingly ripped away from the Slytherin, leaving no desire in its wake. Draco was a tortured soul. As was Severus. And Harry. Each had something they could never truly recover from. Each had a scar with far darker stories to tell. Each had been damaged by this evil power who desperately wanted to rip everything away from them, stripping their life bare and permanently wounding them. All three of them struggled horrifically, and each struggled to cope.

Harry had since welcomed so-called fate into his reconciliation with Severus, but Draco…Perhaps he may never reach out as he did with Severus, but fate did bring them together in a twisted way. Perhaps even Severus realised that too. For years they were reprimanded for their differences, but now their time has to come to finally unite in their similarities. At least, towards their common goal. Enough senseless division and petty house rivalries. Enough grudges and schoolboy attacks. They were adults now.

And it was time they stepped up to their final mission, together, and no longer divided.

* * *

Harry awoke later that morning, after a struggled night of sleep. He awoke to a few small nightmares, but not the panic-inducing ones he usually had. He lost count of the hours he spent laying awake, but it seemed to be the norm for him, so he lay there in defeat. Several times he rose up, and sat on the edge of his bed, twirling his own wand in his hand. Some nights he spent practicing Severus' freeze charm, as it gave himself something to focus on that wasn't the arrival of Draco or Severus' ill-health. He was getting better at the freeze charm, too, although he could not yet perform it non-verbally. He wanted to perfect it, much like he had seen when Severus performed it at the Quarry. A powerful beam of ice. Something that even Dumbledore would have been capable of.

He could now manipulate the ball in his hand, emitting frost from its glacial sphere. He was far from destructive territory with it, but it was definitely a useful spell. After all, he did manage to catch a Death Eater with it. He wondered if Severus had used a mild version of the same spell when he ended up with a concussion, but he wasn't entirely sure. All he could think about was Severus' soothing words of comfort as he lay there, injured, with his arms protectively and sympathetically around him, warped by his own guilt upon his mistake, which could have been fatal.

He felt almost like…a father. Is this what it felt like? To have an adult who cared.

Harry scrunched up his face. He already made that blunder a few nights ago, when he almost called him Dad without thinking. Truthfully, he was thinking of James at the time, but he couldn't help it when it almost slipped out. He was rather horrified by it, but the more he curiously pondered it, the more he started to welcome the idea. It was, indeed, an odd thought. Never in his right mind would he ever consider Severus – _Snape_ \- a parent. But his actions, upon seeing the man in a new light since the War, had been nothing short of instinctually protective. Fiercely so. He had been strangely patient with Harry; teaching him whatever he could. He was there for him, even in dangerous situations, as he was still committed to his safety and wellbeing. Despite his looming fate, and the possibility that the curse will still take his life.

That was far more than anyone had ever done for him. He was more of a parental figure than anyone else – besides Molly and Arthur of course - dared to be. Hell, not even Sirius.

 _Him_. He was the only one who dared to make that effort. This went beyond the memory of Lily, and his dedication to her. No, this was something else. Something neither of them had ever foreseen in their lives. He could sense it. Severus cared for him, and Harry knew he had difficulty showing it, otherwise admitting it openly. It was no wonder Severus was adamant to push him away, even when Harry found him alone after the Wars end. Severus was scared to get so close to him, but he feared the attachment and newfound fondness would be too great for him to pry away from.

Now he knew, Severus couldn't bear the thought of leaving.

Finally tired of the confinement of his room, Harry made his way downstairs to greet whoever else was awake at the time. There was an odd silence as he entered the kitchen, and all that could be heard was the clanking of forks and knives, and Kreacher tinkering with plates and dishes. On one end of the long wooden table was Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, tucking through the scrumptious spread omelettes, sausages, and sauteed vegetables lined up on the table. On the other end was Severus and Draco, eating solemnly and silently. It was what you could expect from Slytherins and Gryffindors being forced to share a table.

Suddenly Harry felt like the intruder in his own home, as all sets of eyes wandered to him as he entered the room. Ignoring the awkward scrape of the legs of his chair, he sat down with his friends.

"Most humble of you to finally join us, Potter, "Severus observed him as he sat down.

Still half-asleep, Harry poured himself a large mug of coffee, and dumped in a serving of sugar, with a dash of milk. He will definitely be requiring the caffeine today. At least he had his appetite. He began to fill up his plate with food, ignoring the piercing gazes from the younger Slytherin.

Severus continued, not waiting for an answer, "Now that you are all present, I am going to lay down some ground rules."

Draco snorted under his breath, and he speared a vegetable with his fork.

"Now, first and foremost, while you are under the same roof, I will not tolerate any _squabbling_ of any kind. You will _behave_ like adults, and not like a pack of rabid Cornish pixies, "Severus' expression was stern and serious. Harry had the urge to laugh, but he figured he'd contain himself for time being. The older Slytherin continued, "Draco is to remain here _indefinitely_ ; however, I will observe the next twenty-four hours and ensure your behavior does not run wild in the meantime. Potter, afterward you will accompany me to seek out Narcissa's wand. Meanwhile, the rest of you will stay put and be civil. If I return and you've turned this house into a circus, I will have no choice but to take disciplinary action. I will _not_ be forgiving."

"Why have _my_ wand, and not theirs?" Draco interrupted, still persistent over his confiscated wand.

Severus turned to peer at Draco beside him, "Because you are a guest here, Draco, and I will do my best to separate you from blasting each other to the wall, by any means necessary."

Draco's lip curled, "Seems to me like you are taking _their_ side, over mine."

"I will be equally displeased with the lot of you, should any of you do anything foolish."

Draco looked mad. Harry, without thinking, let out a snort of amusement.

"Do you think this _funny_ , Potter?" Draco spat.

"Now what could possibly be so amusing?" Severus looked dully at Harry.

Harry picked up his mug to take a sip of his coffee in his bid to stifle his laughter, " _Nothing_ , sir."

"I beg to differ."

Ron had a smirk plastered on his face beside him, watching the scene with interest. Hermione and Ginny did their best to contain themselves. Perhaps Harry was delirious from lack of sleep, but this was bound to happen eventually.

Harry finally looked up from his mug, and eyed both Slytherins on the other end, with a smile still on his face, "It's just that, this is all so…ridiculous? Here we are, in the house of Black, sitting around having flippin' _brunch_ , with a total of four Gryffindors and two Slytherins. _One_ Slytherin who is essentially my rival for seven years, and an ex-Potions Professor and ex-spy who no longer has any desire to teach again, stuck in this house with five of his teenage students with a tendency to make _bad_ choices and follow disaster wherever they go. On top of that, Voldemort is dead, three of us have bright red targets on our backs, and yet we are _still_ stuck together. It's like a bad fever dream. Not even Professor Trelawny could have predicted this."

Hermione almost choked on her omelette. Ginny had to bite back the urge to laugh, and Ron sat there hiding his grin behind his goblet of juice. Draco's face was a mixture of disgust and mild amusement – he probably thought this was ridiculous too. But Severus' face was the most interesting. He sat there staring at Harry, eyes boring into his own. The corners of his mouth twitched, as if he tried desperately to stifle a grin that was forming, but he persevered. He most likely shared the same ridiculousness of it all, much as Harry did. The man's obsidian eyes crossed between the highly amused Gryffindors on the other end of the table.

_Silver lining, right?_

Ron gave a half-shrug, grin still plastered on his reddened face, "Well, he's not wrong."

"Glad you all think this is bloody _amusing_ , " Draco sneered, as he ate a piece of sausage.

Severus gave a subtle roll of his eyes, then pinched the bridge of his nose, "Merlin help me."

"Call it…isolation-induced delirium, " Harry responded, "We were going to approach you about the whole situation, but then, _this_ happened instead."

Ginny looked at Draco, "Lighten up Draco, it's not that bad."

"Not that bad? _Not_ that bad?" Draco echoed, as he narrowed his eyes, "Are you _mental_?"

Hermione cleared her throat lightly, "Look, the only way we can do this, is with cooperation. As much as we didn't want to admit it earlier, we could use _your_ help. You turned against the Death Eaters before the War ended. We are on the _same_ side now. Trust us enough to at least let us help you get your mother back. She's not the only one they took."

Severus gave a curt nod, "Miss Granger is correct. We have been formulating rescue efforts to save the victims and round up the Death Eaters on our tail. We search for bases, infiltrate, and plan an attack. We have approval by the Minister himself."

Draco leaned back into his chair, still not completely convinced, "You've been doing this the whole time?"

"Yes, we have. There are many bases scattered around Britain, and we've rummaged through a number of them. Many abandoned, however, "Severus responded, "Do you know of any bases the Death Eaters may have mentioned in passing? We have since searched the ones that were known to me, but we have since hit a…dead end."

Draco crinkled his brow in thought, "I was only ever familiar with the one at the Forbidden Forest. I had no need to venture to any of them. Although…" He frowned, "…One of them did mention something about, _tunnels_. When they attacked the Manor. I was knocked to the ground and couldn't register what they were saying. But I only remember tunnels."

"Tunnels?" Severus repeated, rolling the word slowly off his tongue, appearing completely confused, "London is full of them, however, harboring prisoners within a major Muggle city would be suicide. No, they will not act so carelessly. It will likely be within the countryside."

Hermione pondered, "The countryside has…caves. Cave tunnels, perhaps?"

"Well, obviously it'll have to be somewhere that Muggles don't visit, "Harry suggested, "Which, cancels a lot of them out."

"There are _thousands_ of caves in Britain. There is no way we'll be able to find them, "Draco clenched his jaw.

Hermione pushed herself up from the table, "Time to narrow it down, then. Until we have a better solution and more information, I'll check in at the Hogwarts library and see what I can find. Many caves around Britain are used as tourist attractions, but I'll see if I can eliminate _those_ ones and see what we have left."

Severus nodded in acknowledgment at Hermione, as she darted out of the kitchen and out of the door. He followed suit, and rose from the table, "Potter, we will leave for the Manor immediately and scout for the missing wand. If we find it, we can use it to track her and perhaps narrow down the search. We mustn't waste time."

Harry took the last sip of the remainder of his coffee, and stood up, "I'll go get my Cloak, just in case. "

Severus turned to the remaining occupants, with a look of warning, " _Remain_ here. We shouldn't be long. And no foolish behavior. "

Draco threw down the serviette he just used, "No need. I'll be upstairs. I have no need to stay in the company of the _Weasley's_." He took one more look at the remaining Gryffindors and made his way upstairs.

"Bloody rude, he is, "Ron scowled.

Harry raced up the stairs and retrieved his Invisibility Cloak. He had no desire to leave it behind, with Draco lose in the house- he felt much safer keeping it with him at all times. He met back downstairs with Severus, who was already waiting for him, arms crossed, at the entrance of Grimmauld Place. Without another word, the pair departed and made the familiar walk to the park where they Disapparated away. He wasn't sure what to expect when he arrived at Malfoy Manor, but according to Severus' description, it seemed rather horrific. He walked together silently with Severus until they reached the warded boundary, and after the Potion's Master re-checked the wards had not been tampered with since his last visit, they both crossed the magical threshold.

Malfoy Manor was well and truly in ruins. Gone was the impressive mansion Harry had remembered previously, and instead in its wake, was a crumpled heap of charred debris. A house so impressive, now no longer stood tall. Harry swallowed thickly, observing the mess before his eyes. This could have been the state of Grimmauld Place. One of them could have been taken, too. Instead, they chose to mercilessly attack _this_ dwelling. Blackmail Draco, and kidnap Narcissa. Harry couldn't help but stare helplessly at it all. Severus had already bounded ahead but stopped when he realised Harry was not behind him. He turned to look at Harry.

Severus' brow crinkled, "Don't stray too far."

Harry shook his head, trying to bring his mind back to the present, "Uh, yeah. " He moved forward towards Severus.

The Slytherin observed Harry's saddened appearance, "…Harry?"

Harry drew in a deep breath, "Nothing. "

Severus raised an eyebrow and remained unmoving.

Harry stopped and bit his lip, "Just…This. " He waved his hand in the direction of the destroyed Manor, "This could have been us the other night."

There was a slight pause, until Severus gave a small nod, with a flash of guilt behind his eyes, "Yes, it could have been."

The pair began to slowly walk the paved cobblestone path in the direction of the ruins, passing a multitude of burned greenery and shattered stone statues. Severus' black traveling cloak slowly fluttered in the midday breeze. The day was overcast but slightly humid. The greyness of the day caused Severus' usual paled skin, to adopt a sickly tinge. Harry couldn't help but take cautious glances at him to make sure he was still sound and on his feet. His decline was always worrying, and Harry often felt unequipped to deal with any further health issues. He couldn't help but worry. In a week, Hermione would commence brewing the second potion, and thus, the second phase edged closer. They could only hope that Severus was still alive within those two months, to finish the ritual and potentially save his life. It was a looming dread that caused Harry to feel rather ill, and he felt powerless to do anything more for him.

They walked slowly in silence past the twisted iron gates, towards what remained of the front doors.

"Why…" Harry turned his vision back to the Slytherin, stopping again, with a question prodding the back of his mind, "Why…Do you trust me?"

Severus seemed surprised by the sudden question, "All this time, now you ask? I wouldn't have asked you to accompany me here if I didn't trust you. "

"Yeah but…why?"

Severus paused in thought, meeting Harry's bright green eyes, "Because you are no longer a child, therefore you have dealt with the seemingly impossible responsibilities thrust upon you in the last seven years."

"Surely that can't be why."

"You mean to tell me, that years of fighting off the Dark Lord, _still_ leaves you to believe that you are incapable of maturity? Harry, you've had to grow up quicker than most. Those your age are contemplating career pathways, not chasing after darker wizards because you _believe_ it is your duty still. You are not far from being an Auror. That is not to say, that you do lack _common_ sense at times. Despite all that, I do, in fact, trust you."

Harry gave a light shrug, "That doesn't really answer my question."

Severus frowned, "I do not know what answer you are expecting. You've grown into a responsibility I never foresaw. I trust you. Does it really require an explanation?" He walked through the now destroyed front doors and began visually combing the ground for any sign of the missing wand from the Malfoy matriarch, "If it's any consolation, I don't put trust in people that easily. I _trusted_ Albus, and he trusted you. I had to have some measure of trust if I were to watch over you from afar."

"I suppose, " Harry began to look around the ground, magically shifting pieces of loose debris surrounding them, with his wand clutched tightly within his grasp, "It's kind of strange we barely talk about Dumbledore."

Severus stopped his task, and glared at Harry with pursed lips, "Perhaps because he fashioned us into his sword and shield for seventeen years?"

Harry frowned at the analogy. That was quite true, "I definitely can't argue with that. It is a…sensitive topic."

"I don't know what you _expect_ me to say. I respected him, but I also hated and cared about him as equally as each other. I cared about him, as he saved by life and gave me a second chance to prove myself. I hated him because of what he…manipulated me to do, " Severus winced, recalling memories from so long ago, "I assure you. We were _both_ pawns in his grand game of chess."

Harry was sullen and had no response to that. In a sense, he could very well say the same thing. He loved him as a mentor – a father figure. But like Severus, he also hated him for manipulating his life since the night his parents died for him and forced him to live with his abusive relatives for ten years, sleeping in a damn cupboard.

The pair spent about an hour searching through the crumbled wreckage of Malfoy Manor, only to come up empty-handed. Neither of them could find Narcissa's wand, even despite Harry's attempts to summon it magically. His efforts, however, were useless. They met back beyond the house debris, in front of a statue of a marble dragon, which appeared to be missing a limb, a wing, and half of its face. Severus walked towards him looking weary and faint. Before they turned to depart, Harry noticed Severus' left hand was bleeding.

"Severus, your hand…"

The Slytherin stopped in his tracks, and slowly raised his hand. There were several small gashes across his pale fingers as if he blindly tried to pick up broken glass. Blood was dripping slowly to the cobblestone path below. The man frowned, observing the random injury. With his other hand, he reached into his pocket and retrieved a cloth, as he hastily wrapped it around the new mysterious wound.

Harry noticed his confused expression, "How did you -?"

"I…didn't notice, "Severus said simply. He continued to stare at his hand as if it were not his own. With his other hand, he tapped the tips of his injured fingers with the edge of his wand, seemingly mumbling to himself. His frowned deepened, further worrying Harry.

'What is it?"

Severus drew in a slightly shuddered breath, "It appears I have lost some sensation within my fingertips. The nerve endings must be damaged…It's subtle but evident. Hence why I could not feel the injury. The curse is…surely progressing."

Harry's heart began to race, biting his lip as he spoke quietly, "…Draco doesn't know, does he?"

Severus merely shook his head, "No - And you are _not_ to tell him. I do not want him to know."

"But he's your Godson…"

"In time, I will divulge that information to him. Now is _not_ the time."

Harry looked defeated, feeling a nervous breath escape him, "L-Let's get back to Grimmauld Place."

Severus averted his gaze from the worried Gryffindor and walked ahead towards the magical boundary. Harry trudged behind him, and once they were at a safe distance, they Disapparated back to headquarters. As Harry entered the front door, he saw the back of Luna standing in the kitchen talking to Ron and Ginny. Upon their entry, Luna turned around. She had a look of worry on her face.

"Oh, Harry. Didn't you hear?" Her voice was soft. Ron and Ginny watched Harry in the same equal worry.

"Hear what?" Harry was too scared to ask.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. Neville and his grandmother are missing."

Harry felt his heart drop out of his chest. He had no words comprehensible enough to respond with. Instead, all he could do was bury his head in his hands, helplessly.

Neville was gone.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE** : I apologise for my Draco! I don't mean to turn him into a bit of a brat, but he does get better in the following Chapter. I've never written Draco before, so this has been an interesting challenge. I have a cool arc planned for him.


	40. Confessions

* * *

**NOTES: ***WARNING***** Some graphic depictions of violence/torture/gore upcoming, but in an alt-sequence of events towards the end of this Chapter. The text will be in italics, so if it's not something you want to see, you are free to skip over it. Kind of gross but…yay, my brain.

Sorry guys +_+

Aside from that, there is a special not-so-little moment in here, which tugged at my heartstrings while writing. It's a big scene and a well-needed conversation. Apologies for the impending sadness.

* * *

CHAPTER 40: Confessions

Harry was shaking.

For the remainder of that day, Harry felt lost. Sad. Confused. Distraught. Angry.

Neville and Augusta were the next to go, and they were still nowhere near the point of bringing down the last of the Death Eaters. According to Luna, she had left to visit Neville and arrived at a house almost destroyed. There was an obvious fight that broke out, but neither he nor his grandmother could be seen. No one else had heard from him, not even Hannah Abbott. He was last seen volunteering at St. Mungo's a few days ago, and he most definitely was not at Hogwarts. Luna had even suggested he may have been in the Room of Requirement, but that search ended up a dead end.

Severus had sent word to McGonagall to update her of the situation but decided to keep the whereabouts of Draco a secret. He was unsure of how she would react to him being there, and he most certainly didn't want to risk her wrath. He knew she wouldn't have approved of the decision, so Severus had no alternative choice but to keep it from her.

Meanwhile, Hermione had returned from Hogwarts carrying a large stack of books, which Harry always found fascinated that could still all fit in her beaded bag. She had made a quick detour to check on the main potion that was brewing and had apparently begun to emit blue smoke, which was a normal progressive effect according to the text.

Harry was anxious in that regard, because Severus seemed to be deteriorating by the day, and he had no idea how well enough he'd be for the second phase. The others unfortunately did not know the extent of how much Severus was suffering because they did not spend the same time with him as Harry did, but instead bared that responsibility alone. Harry knew his friends were more than a little worried but were also too scared to get close to him. This was awkward territory for them. The first phase did take a lot out of him, but all they could do was be patient. Patience was definitely not Harry's strong suit, however. He hated to think about how the third and final phase would entail for the gravely ill man.

The thoughts continued to plague his mind as he desperately tried to wipe them away, willing himself to focus on a new day.

Hermione had begun looking through the books in the sitting room, with Ron, Ginny, and Luna. Harry had joined them shortly after assisting Severus with peeling mandrake root due to his occasional tremors and left the Potion's Master to his own devices away from the teenagers upstairs.

Harry walked in to find the other's deep in conversation and sat down on the single sofa beside the fire.

"Any luck?" Harry asked, sitting across from Hermione, glancing at the various books before him.

Hermione shook her head, "Unfortunately not. I mean, we have options, but it'll take us the rest of the year to search through them. It is _Britain_ , after all. I don't even know how close to Hogwarts we should be looking…"

Harry bit his lip, "What about the abandoned ones?"

"Only hundreds of them. Remember, it could very well be a cave system that has not yet been mapped, "Hermione sighed, "It's just hardly any information to go on. "

"Or the London tunnels, "Ron suggested, "But I doubt that idea, though. Seems far too risky."

"We really do need more information, "Ginny bit her lip, "We are getting nowhere with this."

"Severus is mulling over ideas in the basement. He hasn't got a clue either, "Harry added, giving a lopsided shrug.

Hermione smiled at Harry.

"…What?" Harry looked confused.

"You called him Severus."

Harry gave a slight frown, "Well, why not? That _is_ his name."

"That's rather wonderful, Harry, "Hermione still smiling, tilted her head to one side, "First-name basis is a big thing."

"Well, I can hardly call him _Snape_ anymore. After what he did for me – _us_ – he deserves a little more respect than that."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Harry Potter?" Ron interjected.

Harry ignored the comment, "I've forgiven him, and he still feels guilty. He still blames himself for everything. We've since, well… _reconciled_ , and we're doing our best to move forward from it all. "

"I suppose the Snape we know _now_ , is far from the Snape we _knew_ , "Ginny added, "He's not all that bad."

Harry nodded, "Basically, yeah. He recognises his past behavior and bad choices, and he is doing his best to be better. Because of that, I have a newfound respect for him."

"Well, he sacrificed more than most. Even parts of himself, to keep up appearances. It must have been incredibly lonely for him, "Luna nodded.

Hermione added, "Even now, we wouldn't have gotten this far without his help. We're incredibly lucky."

"Speaking of help, I was thinking about getting the DA together again for another meeting," Harry gently changed the subject. Even he surprised himself sometimes, that now he was speaking so highly of Severus. It didn't feel wrong, and he wasn't even ashamed of it.

Ron snorted, "Yeah, that's going to go down _real_ well with Draco hanging around."

"He doesn't have to show his face – Hell, that's going to end up worse when Severus showed up to the first meeting with the DA after the Godric's Hollow incident, "Harry explained, "I don't want to have to break people up again."

"Well, I doubt he'd _want_ to show his face, "G inny added, "He's sly, but he wouldn't dare do that. Not without his personal cronies for security, which he no longer has."

"So, what will we tell the DA?" Luna asked, curiously.

"Give them an assignment? I dunno. We can't do this ourselves. We need eyes and ears out there on the lookout for more information, "Harry explained, "The Death Eaters will expect us to go looking. They aren't as familiar with them, as they are with us."

"No offense, mate, but I doubt anyone is going to volunteer to go eavesdropping in dangerous places, where attacks have happened already, " Ron shrugged.

"I know Dean would. Even Katie. Hell, maybe even George and Angelina," Harry responded, "They won't turn their back on our own. Lee is still out there, too."

"I _refuse_ to send my brother out there, " Ron shook his head, "No bloody way."

"I'm going to give them all the choice to help. I'm not _forcing_ anyone, but we need the extra support, "Harry began to tap his fingers nervously on his leg, feeling fresh anxiety start to rise within his chest, "I am more than happy to go, but I can't do it alone. Draco might even be a good option, but I'm sure we can all agree that we don't trust him to do that by himself just yet. There is no way in _hell_ I'm sending Ginny out there, and most of the DA are probably too scared to even leave their homes. Not that I blame them. Hell, it's been bad enough trying to get Severus to stay put because I _refuse_ to allow a deathly ill man to go out there. What else are we to do?"

"We can always use Polyjuice Potion, " Luna said, with a small smile, "You know, take another appearance."

"We barely have _any_. The amount we have left will only get us through another two uses, " Hermione crinkled her brow in worry, "There won't be any time to brew anymore. "

"Surely, we can salvage more, somewhere?" Ginny intercepted.

"Look, let's just discuss this with the rest of the DA, and come up with some options, "Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, frustratingly.

"The DA? Oh, _please_ – "Draco suddenly barged into the sitting room, giving a subtle eye roll, as he made his way to perch on the piano chair in the far end of the room far away from everyone else. His arm was still in a sling, and some of the cuts and bruises on his face had started to fade, "It's like the bloody girl scouts."

"Oh, hello Draco! Nice of you to visit us. I didn't think we were expecting visitors, "Luna smiled sweetly, completely ignoring Draco's sour look, "I should have brought the jam-drop cookies I baked yesterday; however, I did make a lovely pair of socks – "

Draco scrunched up his face, " _Shut_ it, Loony!"

Luna continued, without missing a beat, "You look a bit tense Draco. Are you alright?"

Draco seemed to growl under his breath. Ginny giggled behind her hand clasped over her mouth in dreaded anticipation.

"Geez, Malfoy, _calm_ bloody down, "Ron crossed his arms over his chest.

Draco bared his teeth, "This cannot get any worse…"

"Boys, _honestly_ , you two!" Hermione snapped; slamming shut one of the larger textbooks in front of her, "Seriously, that is _quite_ enough. " She looked frustratingly at Draco, "So, do you have _any_ ideas on how to find this other hideout?"

Draco raised his chin slightly, "I may have a few ideas."

"…Care to share with the rest of the class?" Ginny frowned.

"Not particularly, " Draco stated bluntly.

Harry sighed heavily, grabbing Draco's attention, " This _isn't_ a hotel stop, Draco. You're here to help us find the others."

"No, I'm _here_ because my dearest Godfather felt sorry for me, " Draco responded, bitterly, "Do you think I would have _chosen_ to be here?"

Harry raised his voice slightly, "So, you expect to hide away somewhere, while we risk _our_ lives to bring the other Death Eaters down? To rescue our friends - _Including_ your mother?" He ran his hair frustratingly through his messy, unkempt hair, "You cannot seriously _still_ be that selfish. After _everything_?"

Draco paused, eyeing Harry with much dislike. His lip curled slightly, "I do better on my own."

"Yeah, because that has worked _so_ well for you. What would have been your plan if your Godfather didn't rescue you from the Manor? Where else would you have gone?"

Draco said nothing.

But Harry continued, this time, lowering his voice as calmly as he could, "We _need_ your help, Draco. This is your chance to do the right thing. But right now, we need you to trust us and give us a reason to trust you. After this, you can be done with us."

"I still don't know why you suddenly trust Severus, "Draco pursed his lips, "You hate each other!"

"Because I finally know the truth. If he could risk _everything_ to save us all, despite the world against him, then maybe you can find it within yourself to make a better choice. Like _he_ did."

"So, it's alright to have the precious _Chosen_ One hide away here, but when I do it, I'm a coward?"

"I didn't _call_ you a coward! The difference between us is that I'm willing to do this for _everyone's_ sake. They took Ginny. They took Lee Jordan. Now they've taken Neville. I know you don't give a toss about them, Draco, but they have your mother too."

Draco sat in silence, averting his gaze away from Harry.

"We _need_ to work together, " Hermione gently intervened, "They will continue to hunt us down, and break us apart. They are _not_ done terrorizing the wizarding community. Right now, their attacks have been petty but calculated. And they've not even unleashed the poisonous gas that we found half-brewed when we reclaimed headquarters. It could kill dozens if we don't stop them."

Draco crinkled his brow. His face went several shades paler, " _What_?"

Hermione bit her lip, "We don't know where or when it will happen. All we know is that they are capable of that…as a final attack."

"I-I didn't know."

The room fell silent, as the atmosphere became a little too uncomfortable. Harry didn't forget what they had discovered in the basement upon clearing out Grimmauld Place of enemies, and it sickened him to his core that the threat of mass murder was still out there. Right now, the Death Eaters were causing people to become frightened. Scared. Powerless. They wanted them so embedded with fear, that they could easily bend people to their will. Finding this base was crucial so that they could prevent this from happening. The Minister was aware of this, but the Auror office already had far too much on their hands.

Where could they possibly release this dark monstrosity? Hogsmeade? Diagon Alley? Godric's Hollow? London? …Hogwarts?

Harry's heart began to race. After everything they did to stop Voldemort, they were still being hunted. Terrorised. Admittedly, he was scared out of his mind. Finding Ginny alive was a miracle. But the others might not be so lucky. A sickening feeling tied painful knots within his stomach. And given the tension in the room at that moment, he knew he wasn't the only one.

Harry turned sullenly towards Draco, noticing the fresh look of horror on his face, "…You see? This is _bigger_ than us. This is our _future_ being destroyed. Those Death Eaters will stop at nothing. Even turning against their own. This isn't a game."

Draco breathed heavily. His expression had turned from horror to realisation, "Look, I don't know any more than what I've told you. But I do know a cloaking charm that can get me in places undetected. Once I finally get my _bloody_ wand back, I can go with you. Severus can go with us if you don't trust me."

"We'll discuss this with him, "Harry exchanged glances with both Hermione and Ron, "I have my Cloak – Two of us can fit under it. We just need to scope out Hogsmeade for more information. Hell, if we can capture a Death Eater, we can interrogate him. Or someone who might know. We have a lot of ground to cover, and that's the best place to start. "

Draco nodded, "I can't argue with that."

"We'll get them back. They are not dead – Otherwise, the Death Eaters wouldn't have bothered to take them in the first place. They aim to lure us in, using our loved ones as bait – "Luna tilted her head, "But we are stronger than they think. If anything, _they_ are scared. Their master is dead, and their numbers are dwindling. They are the ones frightened."

Harry locked hopeful eyes with Luna, and the Ravenclaw returned a smile to him.

She wasn't wrong. Although it didn't feel like it, the Death Eaters must be licking their wounds now. After their attack on Grimmauld Place, they didn't anticipate McGonagall to be there, resulting in the capture of four of their own. Their numbers were decreasing, but they were becoming more desperate, but not yet reckless. But this made them dangerous. They will refrain from attacks that would cost them, and to Harry, the silence was concerning. The anticipation of something more terrible happening was too great, and they were reveling in that.

They were spreading this fear sickeningly and maliciously, and there was not much else they could do.

After their conversation, Draco departed to talk to Severus in the basement laboratory, while Hermione left for home to be with her parents. After their frightening conversation, she left upset and wanted to be with her family. Neither one of them protested but encouraged her to spend time with them. After knowing their loved ones being snatched around them, she felt scared for them. Ron offered to go with her, but she was adamant he does the same. So, both Ron and Ginny, although reluctant to leave Harry with Draco in the house, left for the Burrow. Harry insisted he'd be alright, and Draco was disarmed anyway. After their conversation, the younger Slytherin finally realised the gravity of the situation. Harry still didn't trust him, but he wouldn't dare attack him without magic, especially with his Godfather present. Draco was smarter than that. He could only hope their last conversation knocked some moral sense into him.

Luna was the last to leave and enveloped Harry in a well-needed hug before she left to be with her father.

Meanwhile, Harry retreated to his bedroom for the night. His mind was racing again. Everyone else had left to be with their family for the night, which Harry encouraged. Although, he did feel slightly abandoned and sad that he didn't have the same luxury. What sick irony, that the three remaining occupants had no family with them. Draco was the exception, however, but he really only had his mother left alive, as far as they were aware. His father was sentenced to Azkaban, with no sign of reprieve or a lesser sentence.

Harry couldn't help but overthink again, as his own darker thoughts ate away within his core. Just when he thought he eventually had his anxiety under control, it came back in full force. He was scared. _Really_ scared. He wasn't going to lie. Scared as he was the night of the third task Triwizard Tournament, being whisked away to the Gaunt graveyard, alone and terrified. His only companion, Cedric Diggory, murdered in front of his very eyes. Alone, with the newly regrouped Death Eaters. Alone, with the newly resurrected Voldemort. Alone, with no one around to help him.

Alone.

What had become of him? The fabled Chosen One. He tried to be strong… _Wanted_ to be strong. For his friends, yes, he tried. He couldn't falter before them. Harry did his best to take charge and look after everyone. Keep them safe. Adamant, then he wanted no one else to risk their lives for him. He was worried about them all, but it always ended this way. Anyone who ever got close to Harry always got hurt. Or killed. But he couldn't do this alone. He couldn't before, and he definitely couldn't now. He didn't _want_ to be alone. He couldn't allow the Death Eaters to take away the sliver of hope he had left.

Poor Neville. What could they possibly be doing to him? After what he heard of their treatment of Ginny, there was no way that they would take his capture lightly. After all, _he_ slayed Nagini – the last Horcrux which brought upon the downfall of Voldemort. He was key in his demise, and they very well knew that.

Tears prickled within Harry's green eyes.

He was afraid to fall asleep tonight. His heart continued to race, and there was no stopping it. He was scared. So very scared. Overthinking was his worst enemy. If only he was able to master Occlumency, and deal with the thoughts ravishing through his already fragile mind, but he couldn't. He had no choice but to deal with the emotional onslaught as it happened.

And it always tore him to shreds.

Eventually, he fell asleep just shy of midnight, after lying in bed wide awake, willing his mind to shut off for a few moments.

If only he could have a peaceful night, but his mind had other ideas as it mulled over the conversations and feeling of dread he had that day. It distorted his thoughts to create his own fresh horror.

_His mind flashed to immediate darkness. All that could be heard was his own heart beating furiously in his chest, echoing against the cold stone walls. He was alone as he walked ahead. He didn't know where his feet were taking him, but they felt like they were made of stone. Heavy, and not his own. Instinctively, he looked down. It was too dark to see, but a strange dull glow highlighted his bare feet against the stone floor._

_And yet he continued forward against his will._

_His heart raced further, feeling a dull ache within his chest. His breaths were struggled and irregular, amidst the rising panic._

_He began to hear voices, but they were distorted, and could not make out the source of them. Occasionally, he heard a scream, which echoed in the strange place he was in. The noise felt like someone was yelling in his ear, causing him to immediately clutch the side of his face in terror. He still couldn't distinguish the screams, or where they were coming from._

_Harry looked around him. He was still in a dark place. An endless void, with nothing but the echoed screams reverberating around him._

_Ahead, he could see a small pinprick of light, flickering softly, like a candle. But nothing else could be seen, as he moved forward ever so slowly towards the light, feeling as if his feet were stuck in quicksand._

_Slowly in the distance, he could see a figure suspended in the air, but he could not distinguish them. He strained his eyes to see clearer, but it was playing tricks on him, unwilling to reveal them from so far away. He realised he was not wearing his glasses._

_He edged closer….and closer…and closer…_

_The figure, as he could see, was suspended a few feet from the ground. Their arms raised painfully above their head, and as Harry looked closer, it appeared that their hands were bound together with a magical rope of blue and red strands, entwined together. He moved closer. The figure was limp and unmoving. He was close to the figure now. But as he edged nearer, he felt something wet underneath his feet._

_He looked down to find the ground covered in blood, drenching his bare feet with the thickened, viscous fluid. The smell of blood filled his nostrils, almost tempting him to vomit._

_He looked back at the figure – whose head was previously limp and staring at the ground – was now looking at Harry directly. He could see his face. Blood coated his entire body, which Harry's eyes could not register for him if they were clothed or not, because the blood was excessive, pooling from them strangely._

_Cedric Diggory was staring right at him, with cold, dead white eyes. Unmoving. Unblinking. His face frozen in fear. Parts of his skin was exposed, revealing lacerations so deep, he swore he could see bone. Sections of his flesh were missing in his cheek like something had chewed it off. The blood was pooling from him – flowing unnaturally like it was rain. It sickened Harry to his stomach, as he let out a gasp._

_He was utterly repulsed._

_He could hear a groan behind him, and he turned around to reveal yet another suspended figure. This one was displayed in the same way. Pools of blood dripping horribly from them, injured, like Cedric. He took a few steps closer, and their head raised in the same fashion._

_It was Sirius. Eyes as cold and lifeless as Cedric's. His body damaged and tortured much the same. But as he looked below, he noticed he was missing his leg below the knee, like it was torn off…And Harry looked down below the body amongst the pool of blood to find the missing limb._

_Harry released a sob which escaped from his throat, fighting the desperate urge to vomit._

_The blood on the floor was now rising to his knees._

_He averted his gaze desperately away from his Godfather's tortured form, to find yet another hanging figure. This time it was Remus and Tonks, suspended together. Blood dripping and joining the others._

_Harry gave an anguished cry. "Please, no…Get me out of here, please…I don't want to see…No, I've had enough…Please…"_

_He turned around again. Fred Weasley._

_The blood now rose to his waist. Harry tried to shut his eyes but couldn't – being forced to witness the horror he couldn't escape from._

_He turned again. Mad-Eye Moody._

_But things took a different turn, and he began to see others he knew who weren't dead._

_He looked away to see more figures. Molly. Arthur. Bill. Fleur. Charlie._

_He cried out again, trying to look away, but everywhere he turned, he could see more suspended forms around him, dead or alive. Taunting him._

_The blood reached his chest._

_His parents - James and Lily. Eyes white and lifeless. Dead. Hollow._

_McGonagall. Hagrid. Flitwick. Trelawny. Sprout._

_Lavender. Colin. Lee. Cho. Dean. Hannah. Seamus._

_Harry struggled to breathe, as panic took his chest like a vice grip. Crushing it slowly. Gasping for dear life, like it was being sucked away by a Dementor, being violently ripped away from his body._

_He turned again Hermione. Ron. Luna. Neville. Ginny. Severus._

_The room was filling up with blood to his neck and rising._

_He drew in a final desperate gasp…_

Harry screamed as his room came back into view, behind his distorted vision. Tears streamed down his face, drenching his sweat-soaked shirt. He found himself already huddled on the floor against the wall on the far side of the darkened bedroom. His knees felt bruised and were curled up to his chest. His face buried in his knees, with his arms clasped tightly around them, body shaking with the sobs that he could not contain. He wept, willing for it all to stop. He felt nauseated – still at the sight of blood, he could see and feel. He felt dirty. Unclean. Blood could still be felt under his feet and between his toes, even though when he looked down, there was nothing. Metallic and cold. Bile rose up painfully within his throat, feeling fresh tears fall again.

His heart still raced, as he drew in sharp, struggling breaths. His chest felt like it was on fire. His head was spinning, causing his vision to blur and distort, feeling a fresh wave of nausea yet again.

"…What are you doing up here?"

"Potter is having a meltdown – "

"Draco – Go _back_ to your room. I'll handle this. Go, _now_!"

Heavy footsteps bounded up the staircase and his door burst immediately open and shut behind him. Harry didn't look up, but the pain in the voices beyond the room told him more than he needed. Panicked steps shuffled around him, hearing the chime of a wand against the door, masking all sound, when eventually he felt a blanket carefully wrap around his shoulders.

Harry continued to weep anguished cries, as Severus kneeled in front of him.

"Shhh, it's alright. You're awake. You're here, "Severus tried to soothe Harry with calming tones, but the teenager was still clearly distressed. He grabbed the Gryffindors' shoulders, " _Breathe_ , Harry."

Harry shook his head wildly, head still buried within his knees, "No…It's not alright…It'll _never_ be alright…"

"It will. Focus on your breaths. Your panic will ease."

"No…you _don't_ understand. I'm sick of this…so sick of this…I can't…" Harry choked out the words between heaved breaths.

"I understand. Truly, I do."

"Everyone dead…All dead…Gone…"

"Be still. Calm yourself. It was a nightmare. You're awake. It's not real."

"Gone… _Everyone_ …I'm alone again…Always alone…" Harry repeated his words like a mantra on a loop within his mind.

"No, no. You're not alone," Harry could detect slight panic in the man's voice.

Harry continued to shake his head rapidly, trying to shake the images of the dead, grotesque bleeding bodies out of his mind. His face scrunched up in repulsion, trying to resist the urge to vomit all over himself. He unclasped his hands and squeezed his palms into his eyes as if it would rub the images away from his eyelids. But he could still see them.

Harry gasped with struggled breaths, as the images of the horror still flashed within his mind. He rocked back and forward in his huddled position in the corner, willing it all to stop.

Severus continued to kneel in front of him with deep concern etched across the aged lines of his face, trying desperately to seek out the tormented green eyes, "Harry, I would like to show you something."

Harry let out a distressed whimper, shaking his head again.

" _Harry_. I must request to offer my assistance. You know what I will ask of you. Your permission."

The Gryffindor slowly lowered his palms, vision skewed by the force of his hands, and the tears that would not stop cascading down his face and drenching his shirt. Eventually, he nodded shakily.

Severus slowly withdrew his wand, "Look at me."

A few moments passed where Harry dreaded to lock eyes with the man before him. But he was desperate. Anything to erase those images of his dead friends and family from his mind. Then he looked up.

" _Legilimens_."

There were whirling flashes of images in mind, which flipped through his vision like a kaleidoscope. He saw many memories of his that looked familiar, but eventually, a few memories whirled by which he knew was not his own. He watched in curiosity as one memory began to play out before him. He could not stop it, so he had no choice but to witness it.

_"Merry Christmas, Sev!"_

_"Merry Christmas to you too, Lily."_

_A raven-haired boy and a red-headed girl sat in the sitting room of the Evan's home, in front of a large Christmas tree filled with presents of all shapes and sizes. The tree, which was tall enough for its glittering gold star to reach the ceiling, was adorned in decorations and tinsel covering every inch. Every little ornament of snowman, reindeer, and angel shone in the light of the room. The Christmas lights flashed rainbow colors, illuminating the presents underneath._

_What Harry could see, was a young Lily and Severus sitting together with a present each in front of them. Severus wore an oversized grey jacket, which looked like it was passed down a few generations. A few tears were seen along its sleeves, hastily patched up with loose black thread. His messy dark hair slightly unkempt, but he made an effort to make himself look presentable. Lily wore a blue floral dress, with white frills along its hem. Her long red hair hung over her shoulders in waves, with the side of her hair pinned up by a white clip adorned with stars._

_With a childish glee, the young children swapped the presents they gifted to each other and hastily ripped open the Christmas wrapping paper. Ribbons flew off, and strips of red, green, and white paper littered the floor, as the children grew more excited by the seconds which passed._

_Lily was the first to pry her gift open, which revealed a small black and silver box. Severus watched with interest as she gently lifted the lid, to reveal a small glass globe. She picked it up carefully, as the globe fit snuggly within her small palm. Her green eyes widened in delight._

_"WOAH!"_

_She lifted the globe up under the light above, and inside some something that glowed a dazzling gold, orange, red and yellow. A small Phoenix fluttered inside, no bigger than a butterfly. Tiny flickering sparks glittered harmlessly from its wings, as it flew aimlessly within its pearly sphere._

_"What is this, Sev?"_

_Severus smiled, "It's a Phoenix. Well, not a real one of course. They are much bigger than that. It's a charm to make it look real."_

_"Are there Phoenix's at Hogwarts?"_

_Severus shook his head, "I don't think so. They are very rare."_

_Lily could not peel her eyes away from the tiny magical bird within her palm. She blinked several times, amidst her mesmerisation, until she finally grinned back at Severus, "Okay, your turn!"_

_Severus also revealed a slightly smaller red box. He opened the lid carefully to find a small bracelet. It was a beaded, definitely handmade, which consisted of shimmering white and pearl beads. Hanging off one end was a tiny white lily charm, beside a golden feather._

_Severus smiled. A tinge of red appeared on his pale cheeks, "You made this, didn't you?"_

_Lily smiled proudly, "I sure did! I wanted you to have something to remember me by if we don't have the same classes next year."_

_Not wasting any time, Severus slipped the beaded bracelet over his wrist, admiring it happily, "I really love it. Thank you, Lily!"_

_"I hope we can be friends forever."_

_"Hogwarts will be fun when we start next year. We won't be alone because we'll have each other when things get tough."_

_Lily beamed, "It's going to be wonderful."_

Harry opened his eyes slowly, blinking back fresh tears as he watched Severus avert his gaze and slowly lower himself further to the floor. He sat beside him against the wall, slumping backward with a heaved, sickly-wheezed sigh. Harry felt a strong arm move across his back; hand reassuringly squeezing his opposite shoulder in comfort, as Harry let out a small sob. This one was not of anguish, however. Not the wailing howls that escaped him earlier upon his ghastly nightmare. But this one was of a longing ache of a memory that was not his.

The pair sat in silence for a few moments, as Harry began to get his breathing under control. His panic began to ease, but his chest felt tight and uncomfortable from the strain. His mind and body were exhausted. His heart still thumping wildly within his chest, but his mind more cooperative as all he could think about what the memory that Severus had just showed him. Harry pulled the blanket more tightly around him, in deep thought.

A silent minute or two passed, as Severus reached into his pocket and extended it out towards Harry. He opened his palm.

It was the bracelet Lily had given him for Christmas.

"Take it."

Harry stared at the bracelet bewildered and in shock, not knowing how to react, "…How?"

"I always carried it with me. As a reminder at times when I, too, felt lost and confused."

Harry frowned, "But i-it's yours…I can't take this."

"And now it's yours. I am merely passing it down."

Harry gingerly retrieved it from the man's pale palm, turning the children's handmade bracelet within his hands. The tiny lily charm dangled off from the beads, shimmering like pearls. It seemed like such a simple thing but held so many embedded emotions. She made this with her own hands, without magic. Even though it once belonged to her, it still held such importance, "I-I don't know what to say."

"You will do well to look after it."

"Of course…Thank you," Harry continued to observe the bracelet with the same curiosity much like his mother did upon Severus' gift. He sniffled, as he dabbed his still-falling tears with the hem of his shirt, "…Whatever happened to the Phoenix?"

Severus frowned lightly, "I never knew what became of it," His gaze wandered away from Harry, looking heartbroken as he exhaled gently, "Harry, you're _not_ alone. I just want you aware of that."

Harry looked at the floor, clenching his jaw still feeling incredibly tensed and shaken, "I'm just…I'm just sick of everyone getting hurt, taken, or _dying_ around me. I grew up alone…before magic. What matters if I end up alone in the end? It's safer that way. For everyone."

Severus frowned, " _Nonsense_. You have a plethora of friends and support around you. Do not push them away, dear Merlin, do _not_. Take the advice from someone who _did_ push people away. _Willingly_. I would not wish that upon you."

"Severus, I'm…afraid," Harry lowered his voice to a whisper, almost too scared to speak the words aloud that have been on his mind for weeks.

A breath caught in Severus' throat, "You faced a three-headed dog, a Basilisk, Dementors single-handedly, a werewolf, a dragon, in pursuit of dark wizards, and the Dark Lord himself…And _now_ you are afraid?"

Harry gave a weak chuckle, followed by another sniffle, "I've always been afraid. Facing all that stuff doesn't make you fearless. What scares me is that, even now that _he_ is gone, people are still suffering. _Dying_. And there's not a damn thing I can do."

Severus paused, "Even you cannot fix everything. That is _not_ your job, Harry. Your friends here are alive. And the ones who were taken, we will bring them back safely," He paused, taking a few extra moments to examine the devastation on the teenager's face, hand still on his shoulder, "…Something else is bothering you."

Harry shook his head, feeling miserable, "…It's stupid."

"I taught First years. I assure you; I've had my fair share of ignorant stupidity," Severus spoke dully, with a touch of his usual sarcasm, in his attempt to diffuse the heavy atmosphere.

Harry paused, still lowering his voice, "I'm afraid to see someone else die. I almost lost Ginny. Neville is a fighter, but I can't bear to think about how they are torturing _him_. But I suppose, and it's stupid of me, but…I don't want to see you die. Again. Everyone keeps _leaving_ me." Harry looked away feeling ashamed of himself for admitting such a thing. He buried his head in his hands once more. The other hand on his shoulder squeezed reassuringly again.

Severus drew in a shuddered breath, realising the severity of his own situation. He paused, mulling over the boy's words, and feeling the heaviness within his own chest. His voice was soft, "I shouldn't have returned. I _didn't_ want this to happen. I didn't want you dealing with _this_."

Harry shook his head, "No, I'm really glad you're here. We all are. But _please_ don't tell me you still want to – "

"- I _don't_ want to die, Harry. I thought I did before, but now…Now, I can no longer bear the thought. There is still much I feel I must do. I thought my duty was finally over, but I realise I can still be of use, _somehow_ …" Severus looked at Harry wearily; his dark eyes full of the deepest regret, "I should have done _more_ to protect you, but I didn't. I failed. I should have recognised what your _blasted_ relatives were doing to you, and intervened, against Albus' wishes."

"No, I blame Dumbledore for that."

"I _should_ have done more, Harry. I was a blithering _fool_ because I didn't want to believe it. My perception of your father clouded my judgment, and I did nothing, " Severus paused again, and Harry noticed the man's eyes appear to tear up.

"You couldn't have known, Severus."

"But I _witnessed_ some of those memories in those Occlumency lessons. The signs…I failed to see – "

"- Stop. _Please_. It's not your fault. I told Dumbledore I never wanted to return there in my first year, but he made it seem like there was no other choice, " Harry clenched his jaw, frustrated, "He _purposely_ kept me in the dark. He didn't understand."

"He wouldn't dare admit it, " Severus lightly pinched the bridge of his nose, baring his teeth in equal frustration. He allowed himself a moment to settle his anger, looking up at the ceiling for some kind of sign that would never appear. Eventually, he tilted his head towards the Gryffindor, lowing his own deep voice into a whisper, "…What did they do to you?"

"Who?"

"Your _bloody_ relatives."

Harry bit his lip, and looked away, "It doesn't matter."

Severus frowned, "It _does_ matter. _Never_ invalidate your experiences, Harry. They cannot and _mustn't_ be ignored. Your beloved aunt Petunia is a _vile_ woman. She could never accept your mother for what she was. _Who_ she was. And for that, she punished you for it, beyond your control…Much like I did…" Severus added the last few words quietly, hearing a slight quiver within his voice. Harry felt the arm shift from his shoulder as if the man forgot it was still there and allowed it to fall back within his own lap, staring at his own shaking hands, ashamed of himself.

"But you never hit me. _They_ did."

Severus looked devastated, as he avoided Harry's gaze, "Words can also damage you just the same, if not worse. Far worse."

Harry looked down at the bracelet within the palm of his hand, fighting back another tear. How on earth did they both get here? Both consumed with trauma, with no way of rectifying that past so damaged beyond repair. They both suffered. And _still,_ continue to suffer. They both grew up in the same dark childhood, succumbing to the will of their tormentors without a choice. The ones who hurt them mercilessly. They fought to survive, barely keeping their head above water. Loneliness was all they had, and their own voices within their head as company, yelling for mercy. Severus had Lily for a while, so already that was a light that lifted within a few bleak years of his childhood. It was obvious enough they still suffered the same.

But facing a damaged past was painful. Admitting to the guilt, tore them both to shreds.

Harry took a quick glance beside him and was startled to see a single tear trail down Severus' pallid face, barely seen behind the black curtains of the man's hair and the pale moonlight cast over from the window.

"You're not a monster, Severus. _They_ were, " Harry spoke quietly, rubbing his palms over his tired, bloodshot, tear-soaked eyes, "We both come from a messed-up childhood. Not even my friends know…I couldn't ever tell them the extent of it because they _wouldn't_ understand. But I know you do because you lived through it too."

Severus remained silent, but jerked his head slightly, still avoiding his gaze.

Harry was still staring at the bracelet, "Severus, you're the _only_ person who actually gives a damn. This _entire_ time. I-I don't want you to…leave me…I know I sound ridiculous after everything, but this sickness you have… _terrifies_ me…"

There was a suffocating pause, followed by a shaky, raspy breath beside him, "…It terrifies me too."

Harry's shoulder slumped and felt his hands slacken within his lap in defeat, wishing there was more he could do. It was – to put it rather simply – unfair. The _one_ person who dared to care this much, had a small chance to survive. Two months remained until the end of the transference spell, and time was racing against them. Neither one of them knew how long Severus truly had left until this curse takes its final grasp on him. Harry was so used to losing people so suddenly, but the fact that both are devastatingly predicting his looming demise felt far worse. Is it possible to mourn over someone who is close to death? It felt that way. Harry still felt wracked with grief over those he had lost in the course of this war, but this…This was different. Not knowing how each day would fare for the Potions Master who sacrificed so much, was frightening. There may be a day where Severus may not be physically capable of helping them. His body was fighting as best it could, but the poisonous remnants were now damaging his nerves beyond repair. The antivenom was keeping it at bay, but it will not hold it for long.

Everything was slowly shutting down.

Severus was getting noticeably weaker by the day. Exhaustion and pain were a constant battle, and Harry's heart couldn't bear to see him further suffering. After everything he sacrificed to help bring down Voldemort, risking his loyalties and losing allies in broken trust, Harry could not accept this to be his fate. No, this was truly unfair. Just when they both learned to forgive each other, this curse wants to take that all away and any chance Harry had to mend a damaged relationship. A broken past.

Harry felt a gentle hand on his shoulder again, which gently snapped him out of his heartbroken reverie.

"I must retreat for the remainder of the night now, Harry. I cannot function on limited sleep as I used to, " Severus spoke with a touch of sadness within his voice.

Harry nodded, shifting his weight on the floor, which indicated how numb his backside was after sitting there for quite some time. He could only imagine how Severus felt. The man beside him grumbled and swore under his breath trying to pull himself up, losing any remainder of energy he had. Harry slipped the man's hand around his shoulder and carefully pulled him back onto his feet. The Slytherin seemed to be getting lighter, and he knew Severus had been losing his appetite recently. But he felt protruding ribs against him as he helped him up, which had Harry feeling more alarmed.

"Y-You okay to go downstairs?" Harry asked.

Severus shook his head, casting a saddened last glance at Harry, "I'll manage. Now…rest."

"Thank you."

Harry watched as he exited his room, closing the door behind him on his way out. Feeling a mild shiver, he curled back into bed, lying awake yet again, pondering their conversation and impending hardships they will both face.

Another final tear streaked down his face, as he closed his eyes and shuffled to the bed to attempt to sleep once again.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE:** Apologies for the emotionally heavy chapter, you guys! **hugs Harry and Severus**


	41. Strength In Unity

* * *

CHAPTER 41: Strength in Unity

Harry Potter awoke the following morning feeling incredibly drained.

His late-night conversation with Severus following his nightmare full of horrors left him with an incredibly heavy heart. He didn't have the desire to get out of bed that morning, with limited energy to face anyone, but he tried his best to make the effort. Harry managed to drag his weary body into the shower and allowed the hot water to soak into his skin for longer than usual. After his blood-soaked nightmare, he shuddered in absolute disgust as he could still feel it coat his skin. He had already dry-retched a few times since, and the recoil left his throat burning with the stomach acid that continued to rise.

He stared at his own pale face within the mirror. He doubted they'd be a charm strong enough to hide the dark circles under his eyes. He brought his hands to his face, feeling the new growth of scruff around his jawline.

_I better deal with that now, so I don't end up looking like Hagrid. Ginny won't approve._

Finally feeling done with his shower and shave, he dragged his feet down to the empty kitchen and brewed himself a mug of tea to try and further settle nerves. He glanced at the dust-coated clock on the wall, which read two-thirty in the afternoon. Neither of his friends had shown up, or if they did, he mustn't have heard them. He considered venturing out to the Burrow that day, but he felt more withdrawn than usual and wasn't entirely confident on the thought of facing Molly and Arthur. Especially Arthur. Ginny was always mentioning Molly's persistent concern over how Harry was doing. Actually, he was rather surprised the Weasley matriarch didn't show up to Grimmauld Place every single day, coddling him to the point of watching to shut himself up within his room. Molly missed Harry, but he really wasn't in the mood to have everyone pocking and prodding him about his troubles. He had enough to worry about, more than they realised.

Harry sat sullenly on the distant end of the kitchen table, eyeing the freshly baked savory muffins with distaste, still reeling from the nauseating images in his mind from the restless night. He couldn't bear to stomach anything else other than tea at this point, and the thought of food at that moment made him sick. So instead, he stared at the swirling hot liquid in front of him.

"Any lower in your mug, and you'll need a bubble charm. Wouldn't want you to drown now, do we?"

_Oh, the irony._

Harry looked up to find Draco walking into the kitchen, saying nothing in response to his usual sarcasm.

Draco curled his lip in mild amusement, "Someone's a bit of a mess this morning."

Harry sighed heavily, " _Really_ not in the mood for you, Malfoy."

There was a clanging of a spoon against a mug close to the sink on the far end of the kitchen. Harry turned to see Draco preparing a mug of coffee without magic, which was an odd sight. He could see the Slytherin getting frustrated, and Harry wondered in amusement when Severus would actually hand back his wand, that is unless Severus was more amused by this than he was. Must be another one of his tough lessons. After watching Draco struggle for a few moments, Harry finally called upon Kreacher to prepare it instead, leaving Draco slumping in a chair four spaces away from Harry. The Slytherin leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. His sling was now gone, as with most of the burns he had sustained.

"So… "Draco watched as Kreacher set down a steaming mug of coffee in front of him, and scurried away, "What's the plan?"

Harry inhaled sharply, "There isn't one yet."

"You must be joking? All of you knuckleheads, and you can't think of anything?"

Harry breathed heavily through his nose, determined not to snap already, "We're working on it. Right now, we have _nothing_ to go on. When we figure out a plan that _won't_ get people kidnapped or murdered, then great. I'll let you know." He was seething through his sarcasm.

"Then we draw them out. Capture one, then interrogate, "Draco suggested, a little too casually.

Harry looked up, confused, "What?"

"You heard me. We need a location to where they are keeping them captive, yeah? Why not just hang around somewhere like Hogsmeade, or even Knockturn Alley and wait for them to show up, "Draco explained, "Instead of waiting for _them_ to find _us_."

"You realise that's what they want us to do?"

" _Exactly_. Give them what they want. There is no other way. I've played their game. I _know_."

Harry shook his head, "And have them capture you? You're mad."

"I'm very flattered you care about me so much, Potter, "Draco responded with a smirk, "We need _one_ of us there."

"No, no, and no, "Harry gripped his mug with both hands, "Too dangerous."

"Says the Boy-Who-Never-Does-What-He-Is-Told, "Draco snorted, "Fine, a decoy. Make them _think_ they have one of us. Stick a tracking Charm on them, and there you have it."

"You can't be serious. And put someone else in your place? While someone else gets taken?" Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing, "That's… _No_ , Malfoy. We are _not_ doing that."

"Not reckless enough for you?" Draco took a sip of his coffee, snatching one of the muffins from the table, "Well, when you have a better idea sometime this year, let me know."

"Hang on…" Harry paused, mulling over Malfoys idea, "Unless, it doesn't _have_ to be a decoy, "He reached into the pocket of his faded jeans, and pulled out the master DA coin, holding it up for Draco to see, "Hermione charmed these to act as a beacon if any of us were in trouble. Now, Ginny couldn't activate it when she was taken because the warded cage they kept her in, prevented it from working. Neville has one, and so does Lee."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Your point?"

"My point, is that they _can't_ use the coins because they've already crossed that magical barrier, rendering it useless, "Harry bit his lip, "Given that, we have two ideas. One, we use one of us as bait, so we can activate it before they take us in through their warded barriers of the base. Or two, slip the activated coin in one of the robes of the Death Eaters, so we can gain a trace once they Apparate. "

"It _could_ work. I mean, too many things can go wrong with both of those ideas, but we have options, " Draco gave a lopsided shrug.

"We only need a _brief_ trace. If that gets us anywhere close by, then it's better than nothing, isn't it?"

"Hmmm, "Draco paused in thought, "I suppose."

"You…actually agree with me?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Yeah, well remember, I'm not doing this for _you_ , Potter," Draco snapped.

"I'm not suggesting you are. I'd never think of you to do otherwise, " Harry sighed, "We'll run the idea by Severus and see what he thinks."

Draco glared at Harry as if he had just transfigured himself into a goblet, "Since when do you call him _Severus_?"

"Does it matter? It _is_ his name."

The Slytherin paused, examining Harry, causing him to feel somewhat uncomfortable. He really wished people weren't so shocked by it. "You know, ever since Hogwarts went up in smoke, he's been acting strange. Unlike his usual self. What's up with him?"

"Strange? Well, he doesn't have to play the triple-agent game anymore. And I know you know why. Everyone kind of does…Of _course_ , he wouldn't be the same. Bloody hell, Malfoy."

"No, it's something else…" Draco narrowed his eyes, pondering, "Like he's…Every time I see him, he looks like he's about to drop dead."

"Well, ask him yourself."

"So, you _do_ know something?"

"Ask him then, "Harry challenged, " _Stop_ hassling me about it."

Draco sneered, taking a sip of his coffee He finally bit into his muffin, devouring it rather quickly. It was not up to Harry whether Severus kept his illness a secret or not. That was his choice. If Draco had questions, he should be approaching his Godfather about it directly. He hated being stuck in the middle about it, but it really was not up to him to divulge that information. Not only that, but Severus' magic was failing him. The man's pride was far too great to admit that to his own Godson, as opposed to his diminishing dignity upon his illness.

Harry and Draco continued in conversation discussing other plans – some ridiculous - waiting for Severus to make an appearance so that they can discuss it with him. It was a risky plan, and he knew Severus would not take it well, but they had literally nothing to go on at this point.

Eventually, Severus did make his way downstairs looking paler than usual and stopped in shock to find both rival teenagers sitting at the table so casually. Harry and Draco looked up in anticipation, waiting for the man to take a seat. Harry watched as Severus slowly lowered himself to a seat a few spots down from Harry, wincing slightly from discomfort radiating from his neck. He looked tired. His eyes reddened; evident of the restless sleep he also likely had after their late-night conversation.

Severus clasped his hands on the table in front of them, carefully examining the unlikely allies seated in front of him, "I'm surprised to see neither of you have ripped out each other's throats yet."

"Muggle brawling isn't really my thing, " Draco smirked, "Far too messy."

Harry ignored Draco's comment and turned to Severus, "We may have come up with an idea to find the others."

"And what, pray tell, did you have in mind? I must reassure that the Minister and the Auror Office are doing their best to exhaust resources to apprehend the remaining enemies, " Severus sighed, "It is not entirely up to us. You both must take extreme caution."

Harry exchanged glances at Draco, who titled his chin upwards for the Gryffindor to explain. Harry looked back at Severus, "I believe we can try and activate some sort of tracking charm on them this time. I was thinking of slipping them an activated DA coin – "

"- No."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me clearly. I said _no_ , " Severus spoke firmly, "The only way that will work is if you draw them out and get close enough to do such a blasted thing, and I will _not_ allow you to risk your lives for such a reckless idea."

Draco slammed his mug a little too hard, back onto the table, "Oh, come _on_. It will work. Easy! Those _imbeciles_ will be onto us like moths to a flame."

"And you assume they will not expect that? Don't be daft, Draco, " Severus hissed, "This is not a childish game of tag. "

"How else are we going to find them? We can't just…wait around…" Harry threw his hands up in the air.

Severus shot Harry a look of warning, "For now, yes, that is _exactly_ what you must do. We have no more leads to go on this time. We were exceedingly lucky to find the Quarry with Miss Weasley's wand. Furthermore, they will be sure not to be any more careless with their defenses and concealing their trail."

"So, you want us to _wait_?" Draco responded, clearly frustrated.

"Yes. That will be most wise, " Severus answered firmly, "We cannot simply _guess_ , in the hope that a plan will work exactly how we intend. They don't. A plan such as yours is far too foolish to attempt." Harry gave a disapproving snort, and Severus shot him another warned look, " _Enough_ of that. Have some common sense. Both of you. Draco, you know what they are capable of. Do _not_ argue with me on this. They will not hesitate to capture either of you and torture you to oblivion until you _beg_ for death."

" _Fine_ , "Draco looked irked, "Then I'll go and scout Hogsmeade for a bit, so I can at least be of _some_ use, and not skulking around here for Merlin knows how long," Severus gave him a venomous glare, " _Relax_ , I can use the cloaking charm."

"You are not to venture alone."

"I am more _efficient_ alone. I don't need anyone holding my hand."

"Take Potter with you – "

"I will bloody not."

Severus was unimpressed, "Do you want your wand back or not?"

Draco scrunched up his face, pondering a decision he really didn't want to make. But at that moment, the front door opened, and Hermione walked through carrying a wooden box filled with an assortment of glass jars, vials, smaller boxes, and other things Harry could not quite see or identify. As she walked in, aside from being startled by unintentionally interrupting a heated discussion, she placed the box onto the kitchen table, and flung back a stray wisp of brunette hair from her face. She frowned at Draco for a few moments, almost forgetting everyone else within the room. Eventually, she blinked herself back into the present and looked at Severus.

"Sir, I managed to get a hold of more potion supplies, including some empty jars which we've been lacking, and a spare small brass cauldron to replace the one Ron accidentally mangled the other day…" Hermione spoke without a further breath, exasperated. She drew in a deep breath, finally, and continued, "Also I've begun the next… _thing_." She looked at Harry, trying to convey the message as vague as possible.

Harry frowned, slightly confused. _Oh, the next potion. Duh_ , "Oh, yeah, of course. _Blimey_ , that's today."

Severus gave a single nod to Hermione, "Ah, yes. "Harry noticed he tried to avoid Draco's quizzical gaze, and turned his attention towards the box of supplies, lifting up each object to carefully examine them. With each item, he gave a nod of approval, and several times he looked surprised. But he seemed rather pleased to tear his gaze away to focus on the box, making sure to avoid further discussion on such a subject.

"I did gather some things that weren't so commonly found, and Hagrid gave me some extra ingredients, as he's been helping Professor Slughorn replenish Hogwarts supplies, "Hermione explained, watching Severus a little nervously like he was grading one of her essays.

Severus placed the last delicate item back into the box, and looked up at Hermione, "Thank you, Miss Granger. Perhaps you can accompany these two to Hogsmeade. I trust you'd be responsible enough to deter them away from doing anything idiotic."

Hermione hesitated a little, "Uh, oh, of course. "She looked at Harry, confused.

Severus reached into his robes and pulled out Draco's wand. He slid it slowly across the table and watched as Draco immediately snatched it back into his possession, "If you are not responsible, Draco, I will confiscate it once again. Am I making myself clear? Do not linger there longer than necessary."

Draco sneered, "I'm _not_ reckless, and at least I can cover my tracks. Nice to see you trust me, Severus."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the Slytherin, "To an extent. Remember, they have your mother as leverage. Any wrong move and they will not hesitate to send her corpse to your doorstep."

The younger Slytherin looked distastefully at his Godfather, "You've made your point."

"Good," Severus, although pleased by the answer, looked sternly back, "Now run along, and do not stay longer than required."

Draco was the first to rise from his seat, determined, "Ready, _Potter_? I'm not going to babysit you, so you better keep up."

Without another word, Harry rose up to join Hermione, and one last glance cast at his Slytherin rival, the three of them made their exit out of Grimmauld Place. Harry made a quick dash upstairs to retrieve the Cloak, and together they Disapparated away beyond the newly placed magical boundary at Hogsmeade. As Harry took a step towards the wizarding village, he watched as Draco backtracked and begun to make his way into the forest instead. Harry and Hermione exchanged startled glances, as the Slytherin went in the opposite direction.

"Malfoy – _wrong_ way, "Harry said impatiently, crinkling his brow, and closely watching Draco.

Draco stopped and turned on his heel to face Harry, "I'm _backtracking_. Where else would they hide to observe Hogsmeade and stay out of view? They captured an Auror and beheaded the poor sod. They knew what they were doing."

"The forest?" Hermione said, quizzically.

"Well, they aren't going to go camping at the station, are they? The forest is their best cover."

Harry shook his head, "But we already found their forest base."

"Who says they only had _one_?" Draco spoke smugly, "Death Eaters _never_ stay in one place for too long. They move around often, hence why they have so many, well… _checkpoints_. Why do you think people like Severus isn't familiar with most of them?"

Hermione bit her lip, "Well, you're not wrong…"

"Of course I'm not, Granger – "Draco answered, "I didn't just follow them around like a lost puppy when I received the _bloody_ Mark."

Harry exchanged glances with Hermione uneasily, then back at Draco, "How do I know you're not leading us into a trap?"

"You don't, "Draco raised an eyebrow, "But they have _my_ mother. They care more about revenge against their two traitors, then the _Chosen_ One. Trust me when I say, they will gain more satisfaction killing me and Severus, then they would with you this time. You're just a bonus. "Draco paused, "Besides, you have that Cloak you're so obsessed with. Use it if you don't trust me."

" _Fine_. Lead the way, "Harry drew in a deep breath, making sure to stay some distance behind the Slytherin just in case. Hermione had the same idea.

They walked for a few minutes beyond the treeline of the forest outlining the far end of Hogsmeade, until Draco stopped, and knelt down. Harry watched in silence as Draco scanned the forest floor around them, almost forgetting that both Harry and Hermione were behind him. They were in the lighter density of the forest, so they did not run into the dilemma of searching painfully in the dark. However, there were enough shadows cast to conceal them well enough. Harry had initially thought they'd be going into Hogsmeade, but he had the feeling that venturing out here would provide them will better answers.

Draco raised his wand above the ground, and gently flourished it, " _Sanguis_ _ostendeo_."

A pale glow emanated from the tip of Draco's wand and coated the ground with small orbs of light. At first, nothing happened, but a few moments ticked by, and wisps of light caused some parts of the ground to glow, hovering above the forest floor. Harry scrunched up his face in confusion, as the light seemed not to distinguish footsteps.

But instead, was outlining blood.

Hermione let out a slight gasp, "Is that…blood?"

Draco nodded, still observing the ground, "Sure is. I noticed the ground back there had been trampled upon. They dragged a body up here. My guess is it was that Auror they beheaded. They wouldn't have done it in the village. They would have done it around here, so they couldn't be seen. Their attempt at covering their tracks didn't work very well for them."

Harry looked disgusted, "That's…disgusting."

Draco smirked, "Beheading is one of their _milder_ forms of making a statement. "

Hermione frowned, "You look far too pleased about that."

"I'm only pleased because I know what they are capable of. You can both live in your ignorance, but honestly, you'd never truly understand the lengths they'd go. Not as I do, nor Severus."

For once, Harry was glad he didn't know. He didn't want to. Thoughts of his blood-soaked nightmare flashed back within his mind, and it was an effort to stop himself from dry retching. Draco continued to flourish his still activated charm, and continued forth within the forest, following the white wisps illuminating their path. The further they ventured; the more concerned Harry was. He was scared of what else they'd find.

They continued to follow the illuminated path set by Draco until they reached a small clearing littered with giant, jagged rocks. Concealed beside the rocks, were twisted, broken metal cages with their doors clearly snapped off its hinges. Chains littered the forest floor around them, hidden underneath the growth of the shrubbery. Harry had tripped on the chains a few times, rattling them, and piercing the silence, much to his discomfort. The reveal charm Draco was using further illuminated the horror around them, as now, the mere wisps turned into mist as evidence of blood roughly concealed, was now evident in the area around them.

Not another soul could be seen, and Harry let out a sigh of relief. Regardless, the three of them held their wands up defensively.

After scouring the area for any further evidence, it was obvious that it was abandoned a short while ago. But eventually, they heard a sickening crunch of glass, and Harry turned around to see Hermione, who became wide-eyed. He watched as she looked below her feet, to find a mess of empty vials, one which she unfortunately crushed. Harry walked up to her, as she knelt down to pick one up, observing the droplets that still remained within.

She brought it to her nostrils and exhaled a few times. Eventually, she crinkled her nose, "Polyjuice potion."

Draco walked up to them, eyeing the mess of glass on the forest floor, "They've been busy." He paused, as he turned to point to a section of the clearing covered with vines and twisted tree roots, "And I'd avoid going over there if I were you. I found werewolf remains. Though, it looks like they've been there for quite some time."

Harry's stomach lurched, "Looks like someone else took them out a while ago."

"Good. The last thing we need is to deal with a bloody werewolf, "Draco responded.

Harry clenched his jaw, and all he could think about was Remus.

"I think we've seen enough. Those cages and chains are all rusted over. They haven't been used in a very long time. The blood is too recent to match, "Draco continued, "At least we know where they were on the night they decided to attack an Auror, murder a family, and decide to go door-knocking at both of our houses."

"We should go, before they discover we're here, "Hermione suggested, clearly looking uncomfortable being here.

Harry nodded, as the three of them decided to leave the area, backtracking on the path they arrived in. It didn't take them long until they were just before the forest treeline, and Hogsmeade can still be seen through the afternoon sun. They pulled together and shifted behind a large ancient tree.

"Hey is that…Rita Skeeter?" Hermione whispered.

Harry was confused at first and squinted through the bushes to see the unmistaken green fitted suite of non-other than the notorious big mouth of the wizarding world of Britain. He spotted the woman talking to another man just outside The Three Broomsticks, who had his back to the trio, whom they could not identify. The woman's blonde curly locks hung over the side of her face, and her bright red lipstick glowed like a Muggle stoplight. In her hand was her notebook and Quick-Quotes Quill. The sight of her was repulsing.

It was indeed Rita Skeeter. He had wondered where she had disappeared to.

"Just great. Probably prowling around for the next lie-filled scoop, "Harry spoke dully.

Hermione looked worriedly at Harry, "Oh my gosh, do you think she was the one who falsely accused Snape of being here? Or eavesdropped on our conversation with Aberforth?"

Harry bit his lip, "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

Draco frowned, "And you two idiots didn't notice her before? You have to be careful what you say these days. "

"Oi, Malfoy! _Shut_ it!" Harry started to get mad.

"Hey, _don't_ call us idiots!" Hermione snapped, spinning around to face Draco furiously, "You and your Slytherins had a field day spreading ridiculous lies about us, especially in the fourth year. I doubt you even realised she is an unregistered Animagus?"

Draco scrunched up his face, " _What_?"

"You heard me! She can transform into a blue beetle. I trapped her in a glass jar and blackmailed her for months. _Now_ , who's the idiot?!" She leaned forward, almost yelling the last few words in the Slytherin's face.

" _Calm_ bloody down, Granger, "Draco recoiled back, "Don't get your pants all twisted."

" _Look_ – she's leaving, "Harry interrupted, still watching Rita and the mysterious man she was interviewing. A few minutes of silence between the three, and each watched the woman carefully. She disappeared in the opposite direction, still flourishing her quill furiously against the notebook. The man she was talking to had turned around, and this time they could see his face.

It was Blaise.

Draco growled under his breath, "You two wait here. I need to go and pay this disgusting swine a visit."

"Oi! Malfoy! Get _back_ here!" Harry tried to call out, but Draco had already made his way towards the village, ignoring Harry's fruitless calls.

Not wasting further time, Harry threw the Invisibility Cloak over himself and Hermione and made a quick dash to follow the Slytherin into Hogsmeade. They made careful steps, being thankful it wasn't winter and snowing, and making sure the Cloak could hide their feet as best as they could. It was so much easier when they were younger, but now they had to walk hunched rather awkwardly. He and Hermione were close to the same height, but Ron was significantly taller and broader, so their trip under the Cloak was usually the most difficult when he tagged along.

The blonde Slytherin followed Blaise until they reached the edge of Dervish and Banges. With his wand still raised Draco grabbed Blaise's shoulder with his other hand, spun him around, and jabbed his wand right into his throat. Blaise didn't even have a chance to withdraw his wand, as Draco grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and held him against the wall with force.

"- _Hey_ , what the hell!" Blaise yelled.

"Shut it, Blaise!" Draco spat, "Were _you_ the one spying on my house?"

" _What_?! – "

Draco further pressed the wand, "ANSWER ME!"

Blaise seemed to gasp from the wand pushing down on his windpipe, "NO! It wasn't me – "

Draco scrunched his face, "I call bull!"

"It wasn't me; I swear!"

"Who else was involved?!" Draco leaned closer to Blaise, baring his teeth, "Tell me, or I _swear_ I'll curse your bloody hands off!"

Blaise tried to lean back, but could not move any further, "One of the Death Eaters. Rookwood. And Carrow…Err, Amycus. It was _their_ idea."

"Where did they take her?"

"Her?"

"My mother, you _idiot_! Where are they taking the captives?"

"I don't have a clue! I get my info from Pansy. Her family is close to Selwyn, as you know. They don't tell us much else. They wouldn't risk it!"

Draco breathed heavily, clearly angered, "Any clue, anything…A bloody word, I don't care!"

"Err- "Blaise scrunched up his face in thought, "Well – _Look_ I can't tell you anything. They'll kill me!"

"They don't have to know it was you. If you tell me something, I won't tell them. Just tell _me_ what I need to know."

Blaise glared at Draco, scrunching his face in defeat. He sighed, "First, lower your wand. Then I'll tell you something."

Draco paused for a few moments, then slowly retracted his wand, lowering it but not removing it entirely. "…Go on."

After a moment of frustration and inner conflict, Blaise spoke, "Look, I _don't_ know much. I was with Pansy the other day, and we encountered Rookwood. He was complaining that they were holed up like rats, and tired of his robes getting dirty with some weird, red powder. He was angry."

Draco looked slightly deranged, "…That's it?"

"That's all I know, I _swear_ , Draco. Look, they are not happy with you swapping sides at the last moment. _Neither_ am I."

"Well, maybe I never really wanted to be apart of all that in the first place? It's alright with _you_ being all blasé about it because _you_ didn't take the Mark. I was _forced_ to!"

"Don't blame this on me. You betrayed _us_! What the remaining Death Eaters do, is on them. Not me. Not Pansy. They will turn on us too if we _ever_ go against them."

Draco clenched his jaw, "I'm sure you'll think differently when you or your family are targeted!"

Blaise held his hands up, defensively, "I'm just trying to stay alive. Just like you."

Draco snorted, "Oh, _please_. How many times have I saved _your_ arse? How many times have you sought protection with my family at the height of our power? Don't give me that _pathetic_ excuse. "

"You _abandoned_ us, Draco! How do you expect us to feel? We lost Crabbe. Goyle was captured and sent to Azkaban after he lost his trial, for his use on the _Cruciatus_ against first-year students last year. Nott's father was thrown back into Azkaban _without_ a trial, so _he's_ losing his marbles, "Blaise continued to glare at Draco, " _Everyone_ is a mess. I hear some of the Slytherins who actually _did_ fight against You-Know-Who, want to return to the school."

Draco took a step back, finally releasing Blaise from his shirt hold, "Well, can't say I'm sorry it ended up this way. Like you, I'm just trying to survive. But I'll be damned if I lose whatever family I have left. Next time I see you, I won't be so reasonable."

Without another word, Draco turned to make his way back to the treeline beyond the village. Harry and Hermione had remained silent throughout the ordeal, trying to piece together what they had heard. It seems many of the Slytherins were scared, too. Even the ones who were working alongside Voldemort's regime. But he was relieved to hear that there were some Slytherin's who weren't so corrupted, and that had him breathing a little easier.

Once they reached the point of being concealed enough, Harry shrugged off the Cloak.

"Err…Straight to the point, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

Draco sneered, "Yeah, well I'm not messing around."

Hermione paused for a few moments until her face contorted in realisation, "…You knew we'd follow you."

Draco smirked, "You are both far too easy to sway. Hope you heard it all. "

"Uh, yeah. Brilliant, "Harry felt strange to agree.

"Well, before I crash back at yours – Merlin _forbid_ – there is something else I need to do, "Draco said, before he Apparated away, leaving Harry and Hermione unable to protest further.

Harry threw up his hands in defeat, "I don't even know what to say about him."

Hermione shrugged, "Well, he _did_ get us some information, I suppose... "She looked around nervously, "Let's get away from here. "

Immediately she grabbed his arm, and the pair of them Disapparated and reappeared within the Hogwarts grounds. They followed the way to the designated empty classroom which was currently holding the two potions that could potentially save Severus' life. Hermione waved her wand at the door upon their entry, as it glowed a shimmering blue, making sure to ward off any unwanted visitors, including Peeves. Harry turned to the final potion, which was currently in a deep-blue sludge state. It was emitting some tiny blue stars, which shot up from the thickened liquid, like miniature fireworks. Harry had to stand back to avoid getting hit in the face.

" _Careful_ with that one. One of the sparks flew out yesterday and nearly set fire to the table, "Hermione warned.

Harry crinkled his nose, as it emanated a scent of licorice. He moved towards the other table currently brewing the second protective potion. He took the mantle beside Hermione and begun to prepare shredding the snowdrop roots.

"So, what are your thoughts about what Blaise said?" Harry asked, "Red powder? A potion ingredient…maybe?"

Hermione frowned, as she added a pinch of powdered unicorn horn to the cauldron and began to stir with the ladle, "I have a few things that come to mind, but I need time to think on it. I mean, it could be vermillion, ground dahlias, or even, well…mud. Or…dried blood. Honestly, without seeing it with my own eyes, I won't be able to make an accurate guess."

Harry sighed, "So we are back to learning nothing."

"Well, _not_ necessarily. Given Blaise's mention of being 'holed up like rats', that does seem to confirm that they may very well be in a cave system. His mention of red powder tells me it's _definitely_ not the tunnels underneath London as we originally thought. It does narrow it down."

Harry slowly nodded, still rather hesitant with the information, "Okay. So, it's a matter of working out what this red power is. Maybe Severus would know something about it."

"Hopefully. I'm not aware of any other ingredients that is of that description. It might not even _be_ an ingredient. It's just…odd."

"Yeah. It is."

Hermione stirred the cauldron another four times, and added a few drops of the essence of belladonna, before allowing it to soak into the concoction. She tilted her head to the side, "Everything alright, Harry?"

_Ugh. The question of the year._

Harry bit his lip, "…Is it ever?"

Hermione chuckled lightly, "I understand. Though, I can tell you haven't been sleeping again. I might have to start finding a blemish concealment charm for you if you keep that up."

Harry gave a lazy shrug, "Well if I can somehow stop these nightmares, I'd feel better. Severus had to limit my use on Dreamless Sleep a short while ago because it has no effect on nightmares, and likely to cause me headaches throughout the day."

"They are not…visions, are they?" Hermione's voice lowered, almost too scared to speak the words.

Harry shook his head, instinctively touching the faded scar on his forehead, "No, it's not. My scar hasn't hurt since I defeated Voldemort, and I don't have to worry about a part of his soul hitching a ride with mine anymore. These nightmares are just…"

"- I know, Harry. It's hard not to think about…everything…isn't it? " Hermione spoke, sadly, "I still have nightmares about Malfoy Manor and the Department of Mysteries. Ron pretends he's okay, but he really isn't. I sometimes catch him staring off into space, not hearing a word I say sometimes, and I _know_ it's more than just the loss of Fred. I wish there were something I can suggest, and I know _you've_ dealt with the most. I'm so sorry, Harry."

"You don't need to apologise. You just got unknowingly dragged down with me through all of this, " Harry swallowed thickly, "Turns out I'm not really dealing with it at all. I barely even know how to _cope_ with it most days. Everything is just so…out of reach. Like I'm running in quicksand every single day. And I'm just…tired of the struggle, you know?"

Hermione's lip quivered, as she took a step towards Harry and wrapped her arms around his torso. Harry returned the embrace and rested his head upon her shoulder. They stood there for a few moments, feeling comfort in each other's company.

"I'm sorry I've been so… _distant_ , "Harry spoke; voice muffled amongst Hermione's hair.

She shook her head, "Oh no, Harry. _Please_ don't apologise. You don't have to justify anything, _especially_ not with me. Sometimes we just need our space, and there is nothing wrong with that."

"I'm just sick of… _losing_ people. I'm so worried for Neville, "Harry responded, quietly, "And Severus."

Hermione gently pulled away from Harry, clasping his hand in hers for reassurance, "He's getting worse, isn't he?"

Harry nodded, wordlessly.

She squeezed his hand, "I wish there were a way we can speed this up, but we can't. Are the stronger analgesics working?"

"Not all the time. I just…hate seeing him like that, and in pain _all_ of the time. It just makes me feel guilty."

Hermione's face fell, "Oh, _Harry_. What happened to him is _not_ your fault. Voldemort did that, not you."

"I know, but he died because Voldemort believed _him_ to the master of the Elder Wand, when at that time, it was me, "Harry inhaled sharply, "I know I shouldn't blame myself, but I do anyway."

Hermione shook her head, "It's still not your fault."

"I just wish a lot of things happened differently. He does too. But there is another thing."

She arched up her eyebrow, "What is it?"

"His – "Harry closed his eyes briefly, "- His magic is fading."

Hermione's eyes grew wide, and her mouth opened in shock, "I- I didn't know. Oh, no…"

Harry nodded, "It has been for the last few weeks. Ever since the memorial. When Grimmauld Place got attacked the other day…His shield charm failed, causing the upper floors to crumble because he couldn't block the attack. I got hurt. Hermione, he was _so_ distraught."

"He's starting to worry about you. Well, I mean he did out of duty _before_. But now that he has _no_ real mission anymore, his worry is stemming more than just from…obligation, " Hermione explained, "I mean, this is the most time you've spent in the same company than the entire six years of school combined. He's in a place now where he can _finally_ see you for who you are, and not what he perceived you to be for all those years. It's no wonder he purposely kept distant from you. He couldn't afford to get even remotely close, because of something like this happening. And of course, the risk of his life if he ever did."

"Yeah, he said that to me last night. He regrets returning, for that reason."

Hermione offered a small smile, "Harry, don't you see? You know more about his life than anyone else _alive_. He has always been a, well… _private_ man. He feels like he can trust you now, and that you've helped… _wake_ him up, in a sense. I mean, he still scolds you, but it's not out of spiteful revenge and pure boredom anymore. He _genuinely_ cares."

Harry paused, taking in her words. It was true. He knew that already. But hearing it clarified from someone else gave it an entirely new meaning. It seems like he and Severus were developing some strange friendship after all. He realised that Severus was open about his past in order to ease some of Harry's perceptions. Last night, he admitted to feeling guilty about not doing anything during his time at the Dursley's. Severus _wished_ he intervened and did more. Harry's heart swelled because no one had ever given a damn about it before in his life. He realised that Harry suffered a similar childhood as he did – Therefore they forged a better connection in similar experiences.

Harry felt guilty for thinking so little of him throughout his time at Hogwarts. All those times he saw him as the foul, heartless enemy, and the times he argued and snapped back sarcastically during his class. And all those times, Harry had no idea what hidden struggles the man had, nor the trauma he faced. He didn't have a clue. No one but Dumbledore knew. Severus had no one to confide in. In fact, he doubted even Dumbledore was aware of the _extent_ of Severus' troubles.

His heart ached with an uncurable sadness.

Harry and Hermione departed from Hogwarts close to dusk and made their way back to Grimmauld Place to try and relay the information back to Severus. They needed to find the others.

Time was not on their side, in more ways than one.


	42. Crashing Waves

* * *

**NOTE:** Apologies for my lapse in info! I did re-read the books back in June/July of this year, and yet I still missed a few things. I knew Draco was convening with Rita, but for some reason, I overlooked that he knew she was an Animagus. I usually take great care into making sure my details are correct for this story (Difficult to keep track of in the HP world +_+), but sadly, not always. In saying this, I merely threw it in the story for amusement, and it won't change anything for the plot. But to rectify that, maybe he had no idea she was unregistered? … _Maybe_? *shrugs*

Also, sorry for the slow-paced story recently. Just fleshing out certain events/relationships before I proceed. Once the Second Phase hits, things are going to fire ahead.

* * *

_"You can have regret from yesterday, fear tomorrow, but peace today by sharing your heart's deepest feelings. A life spent being fearful of showing your soul is a life not worth living."_

**― Shannon Alder**

* * *

CHAPTER 42: Crashing Waves

Severus would _never_ be one to shed a tear in front of another – _blasted waterworks_! - but tears be damned. Harry had seen him lose control before, but he best not make a habit of it. Lately, he had been having immense difficulty in keeping his Occlumency shields up, but due to his progressing illness, he did not quite have the mental stability to keep them at full strength like he used to. However, this time he had no control over what he felt, and what he had difficulty expressing.

_What in Merlin's name am I doing?!_

His conversation with Harry, undoubtedly, shook him to his core and he was hit with so many horrible truths and realisations that further contributed to his misery. His actions all those years ago cost the boy his childhood. His _life_. All this time he had no idea what kind of true impact that had made on him and seeing the boy in a state such as this, was a self-revelation he never expected to have.

Severus was saddened, but above all else, incredibly angry with himself. He agreed to protect the child, and yet he failed before he even got to meet him in his first year. The _one_ task he agreed to do, and he failed.

He was mortified with his own actions, and he was angry at Albus. How long did Albus know of Harry's struggles with the Dursley's? How long did he allow that boy to be subjected to cruelty, torment, and abuse? And yet, Severus was too blind to see what was literally in front of him. He should have pieced it all together, _especially_ during his Occlumency lessons. His blindness and struggles with his own trauma cost the boy his own. He should have known. He should have _seen_.

Why didn't Severus check up on the boy? At all? He did nothing but hide away within Hogwarts like a coward for those first eleven years and didn't even think twice about the boy he was supposed to protect. Blood wards be damned, he had a duty! He had a _duty_ to Lily, and he couldn't even uphold that promise to himself.

_I really am a monster._

He sat with Harry that night, wishing above all else he could erase all that pain from him. For Severus himself, it was far too late, but for Harry…He most definitely had a better chance at a happier life than he did. Severus couldn't help but feel disgustingly selfish and wished he had what Harry did. Harry had so many people around him willing to do anything to help ease his suffering, and no one was there for Severus when _he_ needed someone. When he lost his best friend. When he suffered relentlessly at the hands of the Marauders. When he first became a Death Eater. When he was forced to murder his mentor and only friend. When he had no choice but to push away all of his colleagues and allies to ensure Albus' ridiculous plans were acted upon.

Severus couldn't help but think of what could have been if he had those things. If he had someone who gave a damn all those years ago. So, for Severus, it was far too late. The damage was done.

For Harry, well, he still had a chance. A better chance than he did.

Perhaps that was what compelled Severus to sit with the boy as he wept for mercy. As he cried tears of pain that Severus was all too familiar with. Severus had failed the boy and didn't rescue him when he needed help, so he figured this was the very least he could do. His past actions would never ever be erased or forgiven, but he'd be damn to allow this boy to deal with this alone. Severus didn't just feel obligated to because he had made sure the boy had survived up until this point.

But Severus had actually grown to care for him - more than he ever dared to admit. Every time Harry would run off unto danger, his familiar cold heart would twist in burning knots. The least he could do was ease the boy's suffering and stress resulting from the horrors he had faced all of his life. Harry could hear the screams of Lily as she died when Dementors attacked, for Merlin's sake. That was Severus' fault.

Severus had left the boy that night and retreated to his own room and ended up collapsing on his bed in sheer exhaustion. Not just physically, but emotionally. Everything recently had taken such a mental toll, that he struggled to keep his own emotions at bay. Severus had his own nightmare that night, reliving his past misdeeds and fatal mistakes, and to end it with Nagini yet again, savaging him like a piece of defenseless roadkill. Her hisses, echoing in his mind, as he felt every single puncture of fangs by her attack, repeatedly. His body convulsed as it tensed to each psychological blow, pulling him harshly away from his slumber.

He woke up in a cold sweat, and eyes burning with tears, as he looked wildly around the room for a snake that was not there. His heart was racing painfully within his chest.

_Oh, I am a bloody mess. Death would have been merciful…No wonder Albus relished in it, that dastardly old coot._

And death. That was another issue entirely.

He was most likely going to die, given how quickly his illness was spreading and deteriorating his weak body. He didn't _want_ to die. Not like this. Not at the loss of his pride and dignity. He didn't want it to end this way. Severus was well aware of his predicament, but it had shaken him deeply when Harry had expressed how terrified he was. For him.

For _him_.

The only person who ever cared so much about his looming demise was Harry. Severus was stricken. His closeness with the boy within the last month had evolved exponentially to an unpredictable degree. When he offered to help Harry, he merely only intended as allies. That was it. That was what Severus had offered.

And now…

He couldn't bear the thought of seeing Harry hurt or distraught. Hell, he didn't even feel this way about Draco – His own _Godson_. He never allowed himself to get close to him, so dismissing even some of his struggles seemed to be easy for him.

But with Harry – He cared. A lot. Like...

_Don't be idiotic, Severus. He's not my son. He could have been if I hadn't messed it up with Lily. But I did, and I cannot take that back. I cannot change what happened._

That had to be it though, right? Severus felt more than obliged to help the boy, but he had grown so protective over him now. It was almost…instinctual. Severus had learned more about himself since the War's end, than he ever dared to confront in during the years he spent as a spy. He didn't even think he _could_ change, and yet, here he was. Being less of an arse and vile cretin towards the Chosen One, and more understanding and…sympathetic?

_Sympathetic? …I really have gone soft. How could I have let this happen?_

Harry expressed fear that he didn't want Severus to leave. And yet, Severus' heart pained because he feared leaving the boy so damaged. It was true that initially, he wished Nagini's venom did kill him completely and well…quickly. He wishes he had let death take him on the night the Dark Lord had confronted him. But now death was playing games, and he knew, it would come upon him soon. He knew, that despite the ritual to try and save his life, the curse would beat them in time. Like a race, he was always destined to lose.

He was now scared to die…Not like this.

Severus rolled over in bed and was subjected to a painful coughing fit. He wheezed as his burning lungs struggled to inhale and give him enough exertion for him to cough. He barely had any energy to sit himself up that morning but managed to grab his wand in time to cast a silencing spell on the door. No one needed to hear that. He found himself coughing up small amounts of blood, which had coagulated. Once the coughing had subsided enough, he retrieved one of the last few vials of his cough suppressant potion and groaned at the thought of having to brew more. But now due to the clots he was currently hacking up, he foresaw a busy day of brewing ahead of him.

Once he gathered enough energy, he dragged himself to the bathroom to shower, despite his aching body. His clothes no longer felt fitted against his form but hung alarmingly loose like curtains. He had lost most of his appetite within the last few weeks, and occasionally, will join the others for a meal to keep up appearances. But he could barely stomach the scent of food now, as opposed to the taste. His tastebuds were not the same, and he tried to at least force himself to take in much-needed fluids, so he didn't die of dehydration first. At first, Granger noticed his sunken, thinning form several days ago, and suggested she brew nutritional potions to act as supplements, but Severus hastily dismissed the idea, determined to deal with it himself. His diminishing dignity was bad enough to deal with. The only food he could tolerate were small pieces of bread, and herbal tea, which was enough to satisfy him, but not clearly enough for him to sustain any energy or nutritional adequacy.

When he reached downstairs, it did come as a shock to find Harry and Draco convening in the kitchen, somewhat civil. As long as neither tried to kill each other, he didn't care. Once they discussed their plans, and Granger's arrival, the three of them were sent off to seek more information. Severus really didn't approve of them leaving, but even if he did suggest for them to remain in safety, he knew they'd never listen. They weren't children anymore, and Severus had some difficulty in putting trust within them not to do anything reckless, but there was nothing else could do but wait. He knew the golden trio had spent nine months hiding in the countryside from Snatchers and Death Eaters on their tail, so he knew full well that they would be more than experienced looking after themselves. He didn't need to hold their hand.

He still didn't like the idea of sending them into possible danger, however.

He picked up the box of potions equipment and ingredients Granger had delivered and made his way back into his homely cave in the basement. Severus set up his workspace with a small copper cauldron and tapped the burner under the tripod with his wand to set it alight. He began to work on the anticoagulant potion, which he had brewed for the hospital wing for Madam Pomfrey at Hogwarts several times over the years. It was not a common health potion amongst the students, but there had been some incidences within the last decade when he was called upon to St. Mungo's to provide them with extra assistance in brewing some of the magical remedies for the sick. This one was a common one amongst the older witches and wizards with more severe heart problems and circulatory issues. He measured half a cup of freshwater water to begin as a potion base and allowed it to come to a boil before he began adding the remaining ingredients. In the meantime, he lay out what he needed. He always made sure to have everything before he could begin. He was far too meticulous to allow an amateur mistake such as that.

Almost an hour later, he measured a quarter teaspoon of turmeric, ground Chinese ginkgo biloba leaves, and daisy roots, and added it to the other ingredients. He allowed the new additions to seep and simmer, giving the ladle six turns anticlockwise until the mixture turned to a rusty orange hue.

Severus was too focused on his work, to notice the front door opening on the floor above amongst the bubbling sounds of his cauldron.

"- Why on _earth_ does the house smell like soggy newspaper and mulled wine in here?"

Severus smirked to himself behind his curtains of greasy, raven hair, before he eventually called out with a slightly croaked voice, "In the basement, Minerva."

He heard a light scuffle on the stairs above, and moments later, Minerva McGonagall appeared at the foot of the staircase, picking up the hem of her robs as she went, "All these floors, and you _still_ choose to work in the dark depths? _Surely_ , you could have allocated another room for potions brewing, Severus."

Severus added three peppermint leaves, and stirred again, responding in his usual languid tone, "After seventeen years of working with you, you still insist I should alter my methods?"

Minerva gave a _tsk_ , shaking her head, "You never do listen to my advice."

He tilted her head towards her, "Any particular reason for your visit, aside from your criticism?"

"Goodness, do I need a reason to visit a dear friend?" Minerva frowned.

"Enlighten me."

Minerva gave a stern look towards Severus and perched herself on one of the wooden stools at the edge of the table, "I thought it best if I'd stop by to see how you were faring…" She eyed the potions ingredients on the table, "…Is that a blood thinner? "

Severus pursed his lips, "Well observed."

Minerva glared, slightly irked at him, "You know _full_ well I'm more than adept at recognising a potion. Especially a medicinal one. So why is _this_ one necessary?"

Severus said nothing, as he turned to stir the cauldron once again.

Minerva gave an exasperated sigh, "Goodness me, Severus…May I assist in any way?"

"That will not be necessary."

" _Why_ won't you allow me to help?" Minerva looked defeated, leaning closer to examine the man's pallid face, in the pale candlelight, "I'm extremely concerned for you, Severus. Shall I request Poppy to attend to you?"

Severus frowned, shooting the elderly witch a warned glare, "Don't you dare, Minerva. I can _deal_ with this myself."

"How about another Healer, if not Poppy?" Minerva suggested.

Severus shook his head, "The answer is still no. Allow me to deal with this on my own terms. I will not be subjected to twenty-four hours round the clock of being poked and prodded _unnecessarily_."

Minerva sighed and looked away sadly. Severus stared into the simmering cauldron, feeling a new hollowness within him. Eventually, he turned to look at the woman, "They will not be able to do any more than what I am at this moment. I cannot risk exposure, and I'd prefer not to spend my last days rotting in Azkaban when I can be of better use here."

"The Minister is on your side, you _know_ that. Kingsley has immense respect for you."

"Ahh yes, but as of the Council? The Wizengamot? The _Minister_ may have some sway over the decision, but the proceedings are based on the verdict of the _majority_. I may have the Ministers support, but the others may never bend wilfully within my favor. Not after what I've done."

Minerva frowned, "Albus has already cleared your name from the first War, and they are already aware of your spy duties."

"Yes, well, Albus barely left me anything in my defense for the Second War when he subjected me to do his dirty work, asking me to kill him and risking my life for a boy that he planned to send to his death, "Severus glared at Minerva, "My only defense are my _blasted_ memories. I highly doubt the Wizengamot will accept that in my defense, especially as a skilled Occlumens. They will not trust my memories. I will have to be subjected to Veritaserum for hours on end."

"You have _our_ support, Severus. I will testify. Potter will most likely testify…Molly…Miss Granger - "

Severus suddenly slammed down the ladle on the wooden table, "- The evidence is _not_ enough. It will not work in my favor, Minerva. You and I know that when the Aurors capture me – and it's a matter of time until they do – that my fate remaining in Azkaban will be sealed. I'm simply delaying the inevitable. Once this curse runs its course, I'd rather perish here than sealed away in a prison cell."

Minerva had flinched, "You _have_ a chance. The Death Eater trials have begun, and they are showing no mercy to those who were loyal until the end. Potter will be in your favor. His words, if anything, are worth more than you led yourself to believe - "

"- I don't _want_ Harry's bloody defense!" Severus hissed.

"Well, it is your _only_ defense, Severus. Stop being so stubborn about it, "Minerva said sternly, until drew in a breath to calm herself, "Listen, we'll deal with it when the time comes. For now, your health is a priority. Once we get this all sorted, I'd want to have you back at Hogwarts to teach."

Severus grumbled under his breath, "I do _not_ wish to return to Hogwarts. That is the last place I wish to be."

Minerva's face fell, obviously not wanting to hear such a decision, " _You_ are needed there. Horace promises to remain for a few years, but he is more than looking forward to proper retirement this time. In a few weeks, I will begin to send owls of interest for the seventh years to repeat if they so wish."

"After making the last school year are living nightmare? I beg to _differ_ , Minerva. No student would ever _approve_ of me there. I am as bad as Albus employing a bloody _werewolf_ to teach students Defence. They are calling it the Dark Year, oh, don't I know it! It does not bode well for me, as I allowed it to happen during my forced stint as the _wretched_ Headmaster. This is not up for discussion."

"Well, you have more than earned a break, Severus. A vacation, perhaps? When you are ready, you can return."

Severus snorted sarcastically, "You have the notion that I will live that long."

Minerva gasped, "This is no _laughing_ matter, Severus! Why are you taking this so lightly?"

"I am not taking this _lightly_. My fate has been sealed for _years_. This is all I have been destined to do. One hardship after another, and _no_ reprieve. "

"You are acting like you are a burden."

"Aren't I Minerva? "Severus turned his entire body to face her directly. His face fell in wariness and defeat, "I'm _tired_ of fighting. I have spent most of my life _scrambling_ to survive. That is all I do. Merely, _survive_. I have put the lives of others before my own. I could never allow myself to have anything more. I gave up on the _thought_ of happiness because it would sooner be ripped away from me if the Dark Lord ever discovered anything different. Facing him was _hell_ , Minerva – you could _never_ understand. I was not lucky enough to live in ignorance such as the lot of you. I risked everything and gained _nothing_ ," Severus looked away and leaned over the bench. He curled his lip, angry with himself…angry with the cards he'd been dealt.

It was an endless, vicious cycle of torment.

Minerva studied him for a few moments, taking in every one of his frustrations. After a pause, she continued, "You did not gain nothing. It was what _you_ did that ensured Potter to do what needed to be done. You gained a second chance to live a… _free_ life - to make your own decisions now. The world is no longer against you, Severus. You have a chance to mend fractured trust, and good _heavens_ , I know you have been making amends with Potter. That is quite the turn around of events, is it not? Many people are aware of your crucial part in the War."

"I've never been free. I will forever be condemned for my actions. I'm no savior, or…hero," Severus was repulsed by the last word, feeling pitiful.

"You have support and allies this time. And they are _willing_ to help you. Do not dismiss the help that is provided, even from me… "Minerva reached out and gently clasped Severus' hand, which still rested on the table. Severus' hand recoiled slightly from the tough, something he always felt uncomfortable with. He felt defeated and lowered himself onto the other wooden stool beside her. Eventually, he squeezed back her warm hand against his cold one, holding it there for a few moments, before carefully retracting it, placing both of his own hands within his lap. Minerva offered a small smile, "One day I'll get a hug from you."

Severus scoffed, "Unless you hex me, I'd never do it _willingly_."

Minerva stood up slowly from her seat, "You're always afraid to get close to anyone. There is no reason _now_ to keep those shields up, Severus." She reached out to place a reassuring hand on Severus' upper back causing him to tense, and rubbed small circles in comfort, before she bid him goodbye, and departed Grimmauld Place, hearing the door close upstairs.

With a heavy sigh, Severus finished up the potions he planned to brew that day and collected the finished vials. He left half the supplies in their allocated potions cabinet for the pre-made remedies and slipped a few vials within his robe pocket. With the remaining liquid, he down a vial full of the anticoagulant, grimacing in its bitterness, then made his way upstairs dragging his weary legs as he went.

No one else had arrived back yet after several hours later. He wasn't too worried, per se. After all, they were old enough to make their own decisions without being demanded on by their no-nonsense ex-Professor.

Severus wandered up to the sitting room on the first floor, cursing under his breath given the number of stairs this place had, and settled his weary body into the single chair by the fire. He leaned over onto his knees, and ran his hands over his pale face, feeling exhaustion succumb to every part of him. He felt a few sharp stings of pain within the wound in his neck, tingling down his arm, but tried to avoid his stronger analgesic potion until he deemed it necessary. He would never waste resources for a simple sting, even though it bothered him consistently. After years of enduring the usual sting of the Dark Mark when he was called upon, this he could deal with for now.

And yet he carried on.

Observing the now small cuts on his fingers from his visit to Malfoy Manor with Harry the other day, he pulled out his own wand from within his robes. The wounds weren't bad, as they had since healed a small amount on its own. But the thin cuts were still sore, and now glistened red. He flourished his wand over the wound.

" _Episkey_."

The wounds began to knit together, but a spark from his wand emitted a small jolt of electricity, causing him to instantly recoil.

" _Bloody_ hell!"

The wound had stopped repairing, as the charm ceased, leaving it half-complete. Severus swore under his breath, gritting his teeth in hopelessness. He lifted his hand to the wound on his neck, to check if it was not seeping through with blood. So far, it was subdued. But he had to be careful now. He had commenced a blood-thinning potion to prevent any further blood clots in his system, so a wound can cause devastation if he didn't keep a close watch on it. Especially a wound so severe, along with the multiple other bite marks ravaged around his body that Nagini had left behind in her wake.

He gave a flick of his wand at the empty chair in front of him, and it all but moved a few centimeters to the left, with a light SCREECH against the old wooden floorboards. He flicked his wand at the empty mug on the table to cast a levitation charm, and he managed to hover it as intended without further issues. Severus gave a small sigh of relief.

 _At least one spell works._ _Will hardly be adequate in defending myself, however._

Severus leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes briefly. Ever since he discovered his magic was slowly fading, he had been trying to practice his range of spells to determine which ones were affected. It did see, however, that he still had some magical control to his limit, but he noticed it did consume a lot of his energy to attempt to harness something that was no longer available to him. The thought of losing his magic left him grief-stricken. Magic was the only thing in his life that protected him and kept him safe. The thought of losing that sense of security was difficult to fathom.

_I'd be no more skilled than Argus Filch at this rate once this curse is finally done with me._

It didn't take long until his finally eyelids grew heavy and decided that he'd try and get some sleep in after all. He swung his favorite traveling cloak over himself like a blanket, and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The sounds of incoming footsteps treading up the staircase began to stir him slowly awake. The light from the window was dimming close to dusk, as Severus figured he had managed a few hours sleep. He pinched the bridge of his nose to quell a mild headache, until Harry, Draco, and Granger finally entered the sitting room, causing him to sigh in frustration from the disturbance.

Severus eyed the teenagers wearily as they seated themselves opposite to him, "I expect your little adventure turned out remotely useful?"

Immediately the three began to jump straight into what they had seen and heard, from their trip into the forest following a blood trail and discovering the vials, to the appearance of Rita Skeeter and Draco's confrontation with Blaise Zabini. Severus' attention darted from each, absorbing whatever information he could in order to piece the evidence together within his mind. They had mentioned Selwyn complaining about some kind of red powder on his robes, which had Severus the most curious with. Eventually, the teenagers had finished telling their tail and waited for Severus to respond, almost as if they were justifying themselves from sneaking beyond Hogwarts nightly curfew.

Their words were quick, and Severus had a slightly difficult time in processing them than his usual sharpness. He wasn't thinking clearly, and he knew it wasn't just his exhaustion playing tricks on his mind.

"Red powder…" Severus echoed those words and allowed his gaze to linger unfixed beyond the three sitting before him. He mulled over those words, trying to think of the reasoning behind them. " _Calliandra haematocephala_ , perhaps?"

The three before him blinked, looking confused.

Severus continued, jumping straight into lecture mode, "Red powderpuff. A type of shrub with large red flowers, however native to Bolivia and not found naturally in Britain. Furthermore, once acquired, it is used in some potions for its medicinal properties. I highly doubt they are charitable enough for the feat. Or poinsettia, which is a small plant displaying rather vivid red leaves and is often dried and ground to a fine powder. However, that is native to Mexico and Central America, and have been used as far back as the ancient Aztecs to create red dye. Poinsettia also inhibits magical properties in healing, especially that of the mind."

Draco scrunched up his face, "Sounds great, but I don't see how either of those fit."

"I am merely relaying what immediately comes to mind, "Severus pursed his lips, "However, it may not even be plant-based. Another element that comes to mind, is the possibility of it being some variant of red soil. However again, it is not _commonly_ found in Britain, but further reaches of the globe. That is not to say, it can be ruled out, as some traces have been known to be discovered deep in cave systems, and not on the Earth's surface as it is usually found."

Granger frowned, "But sir. _Surely_ , they wouldn't have traveled beyond Britain. It would have to be somewhere in Apparition vicinity to avoid the use of a Portkey."

Severus nodded, steepling his fingers together atop his lap, "Quite right. Red soil _does_ derive from crystalline rocks and can develop in warm, humid climates, so it could very well be possible that some traces were found deep within the surface. But such substances would have to be located within the bowels of a forest, as the canopy enforces its temperature sustainability. If your geography skills are up to par, both England, Wales, and Scotland have a _vast_ amount of dense woodlands. Ireland also a possibility, but not usually within Apparition limits.

"So, I suppose that further narrows it down then? "Harry responded, with a lazy shrug, "Maybe it won't be so impossible to find after all."

Granger's eyes lit up, suddenly looked excited, "Brilliant! "

Severus raised his eyebrow at Granger, and spoke in a comically dull tone, "Since Miss Granger here is so eager and overjoyed, then I suggest you begin procuring such books from the Hogwarts library you enjoy raiding so much. Aside from the fact that such books should _not_ be removed from its grounds, or suffer the wrath of Madam Pince, _however,_ I am no longer staff, and you did not hear that from me."

Harry chuckled under his breath, "…Didn't realise you were such a rebel, sir."

Severus looked amused, "I won't lie and tell you that I never did such a thing."

Granger, grinning, jumped up from her seat, "I'm going to do just that if you don't mind, sir. Harry, another detour?"

Harry stood up himself, following Granger's lead, "Actually, I was going to pay Ron and Ginny a visit to tell them what we discovered today. Keep them on the lookout."

"Yeah, sure, tell the entire wizarding community, " Draco rolled his eyes.

Harry frowned at the younger Slytherin, "They are my friends, of course, I'd tell them."

Draco looked bitterly at Harry but remained silent.

With that, Harry and Granger departed Grimmauld Place again, leaving Draco leaning back on the couch rather casually, tapping his fingers against the sides of his leg appearing bored.

"You better quell that attitude, Draco," Severus pursed his lips, speaking in a tone of warning.

Draco cracked a grin, despite the mild scolding, "It's a part of my charm, don't you know?"

"Not according to my nerves and minuscule tolerance for patience, it isn't."

Draco huffed, "I worked with the two _dimwits_ today, what more do you want from me?"

Severus raised both eyebrows, "Absolute compliance," He paused for a moment, and allowed himself a small smile, "…You did well."

"Yeah, well, I didn't really have any other choice, then did I?" Draco responded, disapprovingly.

"Your skills are needed. Be grateful that they allowed you to remain here for the time being."

"You seem _far_ too comfortable with them around, "Draco his eyes, as if he were putting Severus under intense scrutiny. He raised his head, watching the man before him for any faltering sign. There was a small pause.

Severus noticed this behavior, and frowned, "…Spill it, Draco."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest, "What is up with you? You plan these huge missions, participate where you see fit, and then hibernate for the rest of it. And every time I see you, you look even worse for wear. What is it you are not telling me? Did I mess up the healing spell or something?"

Severus clenched his jaw, not in any way ready to tell Draco of his ill-health. It was the one person he genuinely wanted to keep this from. But Draco was intelligent, no doubt. He grew up surrounded by Death Eaters and Dark Lord supporters and had a natural gift of picking up nuances and behavior from others around him. He could analyse a character well, despite his own attitude getting the better of him at times. Perhaps he learned a lot of this passive skill from Severus during Death Eater meetings. It was the perfect opportunity for his Godson to develop these skills of psychoanalysis and reading body language. He knew something was wrong, and Severus gathered that he had sensed it for a while.

But Severus knew that he could no longer hide this now. Before it was too late to tell.

Severus inhaled deeply, and allowed himself a few moments to exhale slowly, trying to formulate the words within his mind, "Did you ever wonder why my wounds never healed?"

Draco crinkled his brow in thought, "Well, I naturally assumed it was because I couldn't properly perform the healing spell you taught me. It wasn't exactly the ideal situation to be learning from, just so you know."

Severus gently shook his head, "No. You performed that spell adequately, but that is not the reason. Nagini was a cursed snake, _imbued_ with the soul fragment of the Dark Lord. When she _savaged_ me on that night, her venom pieced my skin and thus ingraining me with a curse that cannot be vanquished. "

Draco paused, trying to understand, "What does that even mean? I thought the venom was curable?"

"Not this time. The curse itself has the poison in a slow stasis, but it is progressing by the day, shutting my body down slowly. The curse was designed to be fatal…not without its last attempt at inducing maximum suffering, "Severus averted his gaze briefly, from the grey-blue eyes staring back at him, "The Dark Lord made sure of that when he further strengthened her defenses."

"Wait…" Draco's face seemed to go several shades paler, "You're…You're…dying? Th-That can't be right. What about antivenom? The snake is _dead_ …it should have ended the curse…"

Severus shook his head slowly again, doing his best to ignore the teenager's dismal expression, "Antivenom has slowed it down, yes, but it cannot effectively rid me of the poison unless the curse is broken. The Dark Lord ensured his curses were…unbreakable," Severus looked down at his mildly trembling hands, still coming to terms with it himself, "This is why I am not at full strength. Everything is slowly shutting down, as with my magic…I didn't want to tell you, Draco, because of the situation with the disappearance of your mother."

"And he went after you because he thought _you_ were the master of the Elder Wand when it wasn't even yours, to begin with… "Draco suddenly buried his head in his hands, "Th-This cannot be happening. Is there nothing we can do? Surely there has to be _something_ …"

"There is only one. A transference spell that was discovered, which is a ritual separated into three parts. The first is now complete, and the second takes place in two weeks. That is the… _thing_ …which Granger had mentioned earlier, "Severus' face softened, "It is not guaranteed to work, but there is a chance it may. It is, regrettably, my last option."

Draco looked back at Severus, looking heartbroken, "…Is there anything I can do?"

"For now, work _with_ the others. I may not have the strength to participate in any further attacks given the unpredictability of my spellcasting, therefore, you _must_ help them in my place. Cast aside your differences and unite with them momentarily. That is all I ask of you."

"How long -?" Draco started to speak, but quickly shook his head, "- You know what, I _don't_ want to know."

Severus looked solemnly at his Godson, "I truly apologise for divulging this information to you. Only a handful of people know of my condition, thus, you must ensure it stays that way. I wanted to protect you from this, but it was wrong of me to keep such a thing from you. You deserve no more dishonesty… "He paused, observing Draco's defeated expression. Severus leaned back within his chair, and smiled thinly, "You know, I am incredibly proud of you, Draco. You _persevered_ , through impossible difficulties. And yet you stand tall, determined. You are undoubtedly, a Malfoy to the very end. You may not have ever seen it within yourself, but under the self-serving moral cloak, your father gifted upon you lies a goodness that showed me that you never _wanted_ to harm a soul. Never intentionally."

Draco hesitated, frowning in confusion and doubt upon such a statement, "How would _you_ ever know what I want?"

"I've known you since you were an infant, Draco. I've _watched_ you grow, and learn, unfortunately, in pursuit of influence, power, control…" Severus paused, "But during the Dark Lord's rise to power, I've seen you evolve and mature. The Mark changed you, Draco. I was once in your place, therefore I _recognised_ that change within you. We relished in the thought of working alongside the greatest power the world has ever known because it provided us with immense security and protection…a sense of belonging. Yet once we were finally branded, the harsh reality of what we signed up for came to light. Once you began to suffer personal losses, you realised that there was nothing left to gain."

Draco stared at his Godfather almost in disbelief, but he eventually slumped his shoulders and gave Severus a slow nod, looking away as the truth hit him square in the chest.

Severus continued, softly, "You made a bold decision to oppose the Dark Lord at the very end, against your family. Specifically, your father, because at that moment you likely had no idea your mother did the same thing. For that, I am proud of you. It takes a massive loss to shake up your own moral compass."

Draco nodded again, "I guess you're right."

"Of course, I am. I am no stranger to it. Do you _understand_ now, Draco? From now on, you get to decide your own path, hopefully, the _higher_ path. Do the _right_ thing. I only wished that your father had taught that to you, as opposed to forcing you to follow in his _dastardly_ footsteps."

"It's too late. The damage has been done."

"Be that as it may, you're _alive_. You have the rest of your life to make _good_ choices. I'm not requesting you to preach to the choir, Merlin forbid – all I'm asking is that you have the potential to be better if you so wish it. By helping us – _them_ – is already on a better path. Towards a common goal. I don't expect you to befriend them. Now tell me - if your father were here, what would he have advised you to do?"

"He would have asked me to kill them, "Draco said, plainly.

"And _would_ you have complied?"

Draco hesitated, "…Yes."

Severus raised his eyebrow, "And why do you think you would?"

"Because I don't want to disappoint him."

Severus nodded curtly, expecting that answer, "So now that he is not here, would you still comply with that request?"

Draco frowned, pondering that question. He paused for several moments, until he sighed, and eventually shook his head, "…No, I wouldn't."

The corners of Severus' lips twitched into a small smile, "You see? You spent your entire life abiding by _his_ wishes for fear of being a disappointment to your family during the Dark Lord's reign. And yet look what became of your father and aunt in pursuit of power and notoriety. He loved you…in his own way, of course, but he forced his ideology upon you, so you didn't know any different."

Draco fell silent.

"You realise I do not wish for you to be without a father, but he was _undoubtedly_ – "

"- A bad influence on me, I know, " Draco sighed, "I've _always_ known. I didn't have a choice, did I? The Dark Lord chose to punish _me_ because of _his_ stupidity at the damn Ministry. And he _knew_ I wouldn't have been able to kill Dumbledore. He _bloody_ knew it."

"You have far more humanity than your father ever did, "Severus responded, bluntly, "Never in the twenty-plus years had I known him, did he _ever_ change his mindset. And yet, _you_ did."

"I don't…I don't _hate_ him. Not really… " Draco curled his lip, "He'd just never change - not even for me. He never even gave me a choice, because _he_ wanted control over me to make the family look good. To _please_ the Dark Lord. Well, I'm done being a bloody _poster_ boy, and I'm done being punished for _his_ mistakes."

Severus gave a curt nod, "…Then you know the path you must take."

Draco looked up upon his Godfather, and nodded, "I don't know what good it'll do, but…I'll try, I suppose."

"And that is enough."

If Severus could prevent the darker paths of two teenage boys, then perhaps he could finally do something right for once in his life.


	43. Firewhiskey

* * *

CHAPTER 43: Firewhiskey

Harry Potter decided to make a stop at the Burrow that evening to see Ginny, and Ron, and relay to them the information that had been discovered that day. Since Hermione was at Hogwarts tending both to the potions, and the Library stop, Harry traveled alone.

The chime on the door to the Burrow barely gave him enough time to peer inside when he was immediately enveloped in a rib-crushing hug by Molly Weasley. He barely had enough time to register who it was, but he'd recognise that hug anywhere, blindfolded.

"Oh, my dear Harry!"

"Hi, Molly – "Harry had to initiate the pull away from the embrace because her smothering was bordering on suffocation. He couldn't help but grin at her enthusiasm, however.

"You're just in time for dinner – Why don't you join us?" Molly smiled.

Harry shrugged, "Uh, sure. Yeah, that'll be great. Thanks – "…Just _get it over with, Harry._

"What about Hermione? Would she be joining us?" Molly asked.

"Oh. Well, she's attending to something at the moment, and I didn't initially intend to stay for dinner… "Harry responded, rather feebly, "I'll send her a message to see if she's free."

"Oh, _wonderful_! The others are upstairs if you'd like to join them. I'll call you lot when it's ready, "Molly clasped her hands to her chest, looking far too pleased by his unexpected arrival.

Once Molly turned back towards the oven – which emanated such a mouth-watering scent – Harry withdrew his wand and cast his Patronus, sending Hermione a message. He watched as his silvery-white stag bounded through the air around the kitchen and made a final leap through the wall and disappeared from sight. He was getting better and better at this method of message-sending, and each time he did so, was far quicker. He only wondered why no one else bothered to show him to do so, before.

Hermione was likely still rummaging through the library, so perhaps she would decide to take a break, dump the books back at Grimmauld Place, and make her way towards the Burrow. Harry had no intention of staying, but he didn't want to be rude to Molly and reject her offer.

Once he was ready, Harry made his way through the rickety wooden kitchen and began to ascend the familiar, lopsided staircase. Old and worn, just like at Grimmauld Place. And yet still felt like a second home to him. Besides Hogwarts, it was the second place he'd truly ever call home. There was always such welcoming hospitality to the Burrow, and to Harry, he always knew he'd feel safe here. He knew that no matter, this was a place he could always retreat to, to get away from things for a while. And every time, he'd always be made to feel welcome.

Once he made the trek into Ron's room, he found George, Angelina, and Ginny seated together playing what looked like Exploding Snap. Ginny immediately stood up as soon as he made his appearance, freckled face lighting up with a welcoming warmth, and enveloped Harry into a comforting embrace. Far less bone-crushing than the one Molly gave him moments ago. He wrapped his arms around her torso and held her there tightly for a few moments before they let go, gaze lingering for those few extra seconds.

"Aww, you big softie, Harry, "George teased with a small grin. A grin! Harry hadn't seen him smile like that since, well…before Fred. It almost caught Harry off guard.

Harry's cheeks flushed a slight tinge of red, as he settled on the floor beside Ron.

Ron snorted, "Don't mind this one here. Angelina has turned George into a cuddly teddy bear."

Angelina gave an amused gasp, and lightly slapped Ron's shoulder beside her, "Hey!" She turned to wink at George, "At least he's _my_ cuddly teddy bear." The pair of them leaned in close, nuzzling noses like a love-sick pair of canines.

Ron grimaced disgustingly, "Get a room, you two. Up the stairs and down the hall to the right."

Ginny chuckled, "Oh Ronald, you are such a buzzkill. Leave them alone."

"Yeah, dear brother, "George responded, "Lighten up."

Ginny rolled her eyes, and slowly entwined Harry's hand in hers, "Mum told us McGonagall might be sending letters soon. What do you think?"

Harry paused for a moment. It was a question he'd been asking himself for weeks, but he was still in two minds about it. On one, he would like to return for his seventh year – and a danger-free one at that – regardless of the career path he chose to take. But on the other, he was scared to return. What if something bad happens again? Is it really worth returning? What's another year less? He knew danger usually followed him, and the thought of being back reminded him too much of the terrors that had followed him through the last seven years of his life. Did he really have the emotional energy and perseverance for that again?

He really didn't know what he wanted.

Harry drew in a deep breath, "I'm…still thinking about it. At first, I _hated_ the idea. But…It would be kinda great to finish. You know, without worrying about who is going to kill me by the end of the year. Would be nice to actually have a normal year."

"Blimey Harry. Didn't actually think you _ever_ consider that " Ron cracked an awkward smile, not knowing whether to take him seriously or not.

Harry shrugged, nonchalantly, "Just telling you what I think. "

"Would be kinda cool if we _all_ went back, "Ginny said, "I mean, I'd rather not have a repeat of the Dark Year, and no longer being forced to perform Unforgivable's on First Years. And hey, we'll actually be in the same year!"

"You're both balmy, "Ron shook his head, "I _hate_ the thought of going back. No bloody thanks."

"Really?" Harry questioned, "I mean, I thought maybe you would have changed your mind. It won't be a school year without you, Ron."

Ron scrunched up his face, "Nah. I just can't bring myself to do it. Not since…everything. Besides, I'm kind of thinking of applying with the Auror program instead. "

Harry blinked several times, trying to comprehend what Ron had suggested, "I – wow, I didn't know you were interested in _becoming_ an Auror. But you need your NEWT scores and final grades as pre-requisites?"

"Pre-requisites? I don't know about you, but I think our impressive new resumes can get us _anywhere_ , " Ron laughed, "But seriously, though. I spoke to Kingsley about it. Well, actually, _he_ approached me. He's doing a bit of an Auror-training overhaul. Since losing so many, he's willing to make an exception into the program to get the numbers up. No one has been taken on by the office for _six_ years. It's mad! We're going to be learning advanced stuff, anyway. I won't bother wasting a year at Hogwarts, then."

"That's wonderful, Ron. You'd make a great Auror, " Harry smiled. Although he did feel slightly stung that Kingsley didn't approach _him_ about it but given everything that has happened – and still is – he really didn't fancy chasing down dark wizards for the rest of his life. He'd had enough of that already. Although being an Auror was something he originally wished to pursue, he wasn't sure if he had it in his heart to continue on that path now. As crazy as his life had been up until that point, settling with something a little less stressful and less dangerous seemed far more welcoming and appealing to him.

Perhaps he'd end up taking that teaching position after all. Hogwarts would always be his first home, and that's where his heart seemed to always gravitate towards.

"Blimey, don't make his head grow any bigger, "Ginny smirked, then turned to Harry, "Is Hermione joining us tonight?"

Harry met her gaze, "I sent her a message, yeah. "

Ron's face lit up.

"Hey hey, it's a triple date!" George teased, earning a giggle from Angelina beside him.

_Speaking of date, we haven't even gone on ours yet...I'm bloody horrible. Why does Ginny even like me, again?_

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Triple date, "She turned amusingly to Harry, "Aren't we lucky."

 _Yes, yes, I know, we haven't gone on it yet._ Harry mentally kicked himself. He was sure that was her way of subtly kicking him up the backside.

"– DINNER'S READY! Hurry along, now!" Suddenly Molly's voice boomed from the lower floor.

Ginny snorted, "Mum's never been that excited in a long while."

The four picked themselves up, and made their way downstairs, hearing Hermione's voice of arrival below. Ron sped up and greeted Hermione with a hug, and a quick peck on the cheek. Harry watched Molly grin to herself, who turned to occupy with setting the dinner plates with her wand, pretending not to have seen. Ron's cheeks flushed slightly red, and Hermione wriggled her nose in slight embarrassment once they realised everyone was looking. Harry smirked, feeling rather awkward himself as he, too, respectfully averted his gaze. Harry wasn't exactly fond of having his own relationship on display, either. Well, not yet. Everything was still rather new.

He looked at the dinner table to find a scrumptious display of roast beef, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables, a pot of gravy, and assorted sausages.

Arthur, with Percy beside him, was already seated at the table and greeted Harry and Hermione with a nod and a smile as they both took a seat, " Harry. Hermione. Nice to see you both."

"Evening, Arthur. Percy, " Harry responded, pouring himself a glass of icy water from the pitcher. He poured Ginny's glass, who was seated on his other side.

"Isn't this _wonderful_ , Arthur?" Molly beamed, taking a seat beside her husband, as she peered at their unexpected guests. Harry noticed Ron rolling his eyes, and Ginny trying her best to stifle a laugh. Neither Molly nor Arthur noticed.

"Indeed, it is. It's a shame Bill and Fleur couldn't join us tonight, " Arthur responded, filling up his plate, "I must say, it is good to see you lot together. Hope you have been keeping out of trouble?"

"…As best we can, " Harry lied. _Well, it wasn't wrong._ Not wanting the conversation to start that way already, he tried his best to politely divert, "So…how's things at the Ministry? Any word on Neville and Augusta?"

Arthur shook his head, giving him time to swallow his spoonful of gravy-soaked mash, "Nothing yet. Kingsley informed me that the Aurors did their sweep of the Longbottom's residence, but no wands found at the scene, so the Death Eaters must have them in their possession."

"He also mentioned they found an empty vial of what remained of Polyjuice Potion, in the front garden. Likely posed as someone familiar, as if to catch them off guard, " Percy interrupted, taking a drink from his goblet. Harry and Hermione exchanged grim glances.

"No one is safe, " Hermione looked worriedly around the table.

Arthur turned to Hermione, with a look of concern, "Would you like me to contact Kingsley to send an Auror on standby at your parents' home?"

Hermione quickly shook her head, "No, I'd prefer not. Thank you, but I think Aurors right now are not easy to trust. They've fooled us already. Besides, I have added extra charms for security. Any magical signature to cross or break-through, I will know immediately."

Arthur nodded, "Understandable. Well, it seems you have it covered then. If you need one of us, we're just a Patronus away, alright? I don't want to see you racing there alone."

The occupants continued with dinner for the next hour and a half, delving into some interesting conversations. Harry did want to continue avoiding the conversation in direction of the happenings at Grimmauld Place and the titbits of information they had brewing in regard to the whereabouts of their friends and the others missing. Instead, they spoke of the reformation of the Ministry under Kingsley's new direction, and the now-complete eradication of the Dementors at Azkaban. Most of the Dementors they could find were being re-located and contained elsewhere since they were released from hold at the Tintern Quarry from where they were supposed to be securely held. They had also mentioned the re-opening of Hogwarts with the Minister's approval, as some course content will be revised and reformed in order to reverse what had been taught in the previous year under Severus' unfortunate and forced reign as Headmaster.

They spoke of recent mass-overhaul of corrupt Ministry workers and officials, including the spies that were previous planted there under Voldemort's hold. They were able to capture a further four escaped Death Eaters and supporters planted in different departments, which had Ron swearing under his breath at the sheer bewilderment of it. Percy had talked about the close monitoring of the Floo Network - now thankfully back under full Ministry control - and the monitored creation of Portkey's, in order to further bind and eradicate those enemies who have attempted to flee in recent weeks. Only certain Floo fireplaces were active, such as a select few stationed at Hogwarts and St. Mungo's. This information was handy to know because at least he knew that their remaining enemies were unable to flee so far, leaving them to either travel by broomstick, or Apparate – that of which will drain them of energy due to overuse.

The information was promising, and he knew they really couldn't be far. Especially if they've been so meticulous transporting the captives. So, they had to be close by.

All in all, it was good news worth noting. But according to Kingsley, not many Death Eaters were given lenient sentences. In fact, many did not have the luxury of a trial and were sent directly to Azkaban. The Ministry has no tolerance for criminals, and thus the Death Eater trials, to them, were quite a success. Harry couldn't help but feel nervous about it. Severus was still on the wanted list, and he felt uneasy about harboring him within Grimmauld Place hoping that he too, would not get into trouble, but they'd be damned if they even consider taking him away. Not after everything. Not after what he gave up saving them all.

Percy had begun to explain the ramifications of the Aurors who were subjected to the Imperius Curse during War. According to him, some of the Aurors who were victims of the curse were displaying lapses in memory, and gaps in time that they could not fill. No spell could reverse it, and thus, some of their previous skills and acquired knowledge remained lost within their mind now damaged beyond repair. Some of those Aurors had to step down from their role as their mental capacity was compromising their work.

_I'd be doomed, then. No Auror program would want me as a candidate if I'm still having bloody panic-inducing nightmares._

Thankfully, the conversation turned a little less politically grim, with George not wanting to abandon Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and hoping to restart their little joke shop soon in honor of Fred. Although the loss still hit hard, it was good to see George with a little more spark these days and was glad he had Angelina by his side being ever so patient with his grief. Arthur had told them that they were starting to rebuild Diagon Alley, and some of the business' were keen to be up and running again. With the Headmistress and Minister working together to get Hogwarts in a ready state, people were more than ready to re-start their lives again. Businesses' were losing money, and some had shut down permanently, but the War was not enough to stop some traders in the lead-up to a new school year.

They had finished dinner, and Molly cleared the table and set up a dessert spread – Harry was so full at this point, but he wouldn't say no to treacle tart. Arthur, after a long day at the Ministry, decided to bring out the firewhiskey and several glasses. Harry wasn't really in the mood to celebrate by any caliber, but he felt rude to refuse their hospitality. In all honesty, he just wanted to be home. Or at least spend some quality time with Ginny. He hated the obligation of staying to socialise when he really didn't feel up to it. But he bit down on his reluctance and stayed, mainly not to offend the Weasley's.

All of a sudden, Arthur raised his glass, and everyone followed suit. He cleared his throat, "I know this isn't really a time for celebration just yet, but…To the downfall of our greatest enemy. May this world be rebuilt stronger and more defiant with each adversity."

There were solemn collective nods, and no words spoken, but all together they raised their glass in salute and brought it to their lips. Harry felt the warmth of the firewhiskey almost immediately, which did seem to alleviate some of his nerves. They sat around together, delving into dessert and conversation for another good solid hour until Arthur and Molly decided to retreat for the night. Before Molly left, she retrieved a large container and placed an assortment of sweet and savory food for Harry to deliver back to Severus, which he found to be a rather sweet gesture from the Weasley matriarch. But on that note, he felt terrible because she didn't know about his illness. She'd be absolutely devastated. He hated keeping secrets from people, especially those who deserved to know.

Once Molly retreated, Percy followed suit, leaving the six remaining occupants behind. They eventually relocated to the sitting room to relax for the remainder of the evening, which was bordering on close to midnight.

"So, uh, when's the next DA meeting?" Angelina asked as she snuggled against George's chest.

Harry looked uncertain, "I was going to set up another meeting soon, but just waiting on more info first. Just keep the coin with you at all times."

Angelina nodded, "Not a problem, Harry. I was getting worried because it had been quiet for a while, since our last one."

"Just keep a lookout for _anything_ that may help find the others, " Hermione exchanged glances with Harry, "That way once we do have a meeting set, we can further discuss the next plan. I'm doing some research accordingly."

"Well, let me know if you need an extra pair of hands or anything. George and I will be keen, " Angelina and George nodded collectively.

"That'll be great, really. The more eyes we have out there, the better our chances. Just…be careful, alright? " Harry added, "We can't lose any more people. They are getting quite ruthless, now."

"Bugger, I planned on heading back into Hogsmeade with a marching band, " George smirked, "And here I thought you presumed we were well-behaved."

"Well-behaved? What idiot would tell you that?" Ron gave a disapproving snort, "Who abides by the rules anymore? It's free-for-all now."

"He will need to learn to abide by them if he plans on becoming an Auror, " Hermione grinned rather cheekily, "…Right, Ronald?"

"You do need a bit of discipline, " Ginny said, earning a scowl from Ron, "The Auror program will sort you out, good and proper."

"Gee, thanks, " Ron huffed.

Angelina and George chuckled. The six of them continued with slightly tipsy-induced banter until a little past midnight, until George and Angelina finally retreated for the night. Harry politely excused himself and wandered out to the front yard for some fresh air. The smell of firewhiskey began to become disgustingly stale. He was definitely a lightweight, and two glasses were more than enough for him to handle. Ginny had followed shortly behind him, clasping his hand to remind him that she was there. They stood outside side by side, looking up at the clear, starry sky above.

"Hey, Ginny? "Harry asked.

"Yeah?"

"Would you, ah…" He paused, trying to gather up the right words without making him sound foolish, "I know I've not been great company recently, but I haven't forgotten about our date yet…I feel a bit, well… _stupid_."

Ginny blinked in surprise, "Stupid? Harry, don't stress about it. It hasn't exactly been the easiest time to squeeze in a date these days. Or proper time together."

Harry could feel his cheeks flush, "Yeah, I suppose, but…"

Ginny flicked a lock of wild red hair from her face, and wriggled her nose, "- It'll happen. Just being with you at any moment is enough. " She smiled warmly.

Harry was flooded by a wave of relief. He didn't know why he was so worried about it. He knew she wouldn't be bothered about it, but he still felt slightly awkward on that front. They never really took this step before, and after everything that has happened in the last year, he was afraid to ask for fear of her change in desire. But knowing she was understanding and still happy within his company, made him happy too.

Harry released a breath he didn't realise he held, "That is…Well, brilliant."

"What did you'd think I'd say?" Ginny questioned, squeezing his hand a little tighter, as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Well…" That had to be it though, right? He was worried about what she may think. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise, "…I just didn't…"

_Dammit Harry, just spit it out. Grow a spine._

"What, you'd think I would have changed my mind?" Ginny chuckled lightly, "I never gave up on us, and still don't. Things are tough now, I get it. You're under a lot of stress. _Especially_ with Severus, you've sort of become his…unofficial carer."

"You've got a point," Harry grimaced at the term, "Just…don't let him hear you say that. He'll hex me until next year."

Ginny shrugged, "Well, it's true, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it is, " Harry drew in a deep breath, "I guess I'm still a bit…hesitant."

"What…about us?"

Harry shook his head, "Well, not quite. More like…worried something bad is going to happen. Like it's a nagging feeling I can't get rid of."

Ginny gave a light chuckle, "It always is, though. We can't always help that. We'll deal with it as it happens, like always. Besides, if we don't get this damn first date over and done with, we're just going to stay cuddle-buddies for the rest of our lives."

Now it was Harry's turn to chuckle, "Yeah, yeah, I get it."

Ginny looked up into Harry's green eyes, "So, what did you have in mind?"

Harry's mind trailed off, not sure if the firewhiskey was making his head feel heavy. "Oh, oh, the date?"

"What else did you think I meant?"

Harry flinched, feeling a tinge of embarrassment, "Oh. Well, I figured we'll just grab our brooms, and maybe use the Quidditch grounds and just…Fly around…Forget everything for a little while."

Ginny smiled, and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, "I'd love that. And I don't want George knowing, or else he'll ruin it with his cheesy love-heart fireworks which explode in pink clouds. _Nasty_ , they are. They stink like candy floss."

Harry laughed and was about to respond when they heard a sudden arguing within the Burrow behind them. Both Harry and Ginny turned around to find Hermione storming out of the front door, with Ron following angrily behind her. They both looked furious.

"- So, _when_ were you going to bloody tell me?" Ron demanded; his words slurring slightly.

Hermione turned sharply on her heel to face him, "Well, _tonight_! But then you decided to get _drunk_ , so I held off!"

"You can't just casually tell me about your day, then throw in an 'oh, by the way, we hung out with Malfoy today'. You're _mad_!"

_Oh, boy._

"No! You're _not_ even listening to me, Ron!" Hermione couldn't believe what he was saying, "We didn't _hang_ out!"

"Oh yeah, sure. I'm listening! When you mention that slimy git, of course, I'm listening!" Ron was furious.

"Well if you'd lay off the fourth glass of firewhiskey as I told you, you'd stop _scolding_ me about it!"

Harry exchanged worried glances with Ginny, and took a few steps towards the angry pair, "Ron, relax. Nothing bad happened. It was a last-minute decision."

"Relax? _RELAX_?!" Ron took a few long strides towards Harry, and suddenly grabbed his shirt by the fistful, "And you let Hermione – my _girlfriend_! – go _near_ that tosser!?"

Harry tried to pry Ron's fist from his shirt, but he would not budge. Ron was far more built and taller than he and fighting him physically would be useless. The alcohol on his breath was strong, "Hey, let _go_ of me! Bloody hell, Ron! We were _going_ to tell you, but I didn't exactly want to share it casually over dinner. It's bad enough trying to get your dad to lay off criticizing Severus, and I _really_ don't need any more lectures about Malfoy, either! We have _enough_ problems as it is."

Ron's face was contorted in fury. Harry hadn't seen him this mad during the incident in the forest when he wore the locket Horcrux.

"For _goodness_ sake, Ron! Let go of him!" Ginny yelled at him. Eventually, Ron let Harry go roughly, causing Harry to rub the new soreness within his chest.

"I told him what happened today, and what we found out…" Hermione shot Ron a look of disgust, "Once I mentioned Malfoy, he went nuts. But nothing bad happened, Ron. _Honestly_. He was…Unexpectedly helpful."

Ron breathed heavily, "You do realise he could turn and kill you in an instant? You _know_ he can't be trusted! Hell, that foul git tried to poison me!"

"That was _meant_ for Dumbledore, not you, " Hermione tried to explain, doing her best to manage her own anger.

"And that's any better?!"

"Look, you _know_ we need his help. What he did today…neither of us could have done. He shook Blaise Zabini good and proper. He gave us decent information - we _saw_ it. Honestly, Ron, it's alright."

Ron shot Harry a dangerous glare and took a heaved sigh as he turned to Hermione, " _Whatever_. Though next time you go on another little excursion, let me know, so I can be there to beat Malfoy senseless if he ever dares lay a hand on you!"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but chose to say nothing. Instead, she averted her gaze to the ground. Silence befell the four of them, and all that could be heard were the chirping of crickets buried within the garden.

Harry placed his palms up defensively, trying to manage the panic within his own breathing from the tension in the air, "Everyone needs to relax, alright? Hermione, did you find anything at the library?"

She shook her head, "I gathered all the books I can find but wasn't able to look through them properly before I received your Patronus. I dropped them off at Grimmauld Place, and Snape decided to get a head start sifting through them. "

Harry nodded, "Okay. Good. We're close to finding something, I'm sure of it."

"Remember, once we find the others, we won't have to _deal_ with Malfoy again, " Ginny added, "He's a scoundrel, and I don't fully trust him either, but I admit we need someone who knows how they operate. Snape is getting worse, and I highly doubt he'd be in any shape to help us again out there."

"Ginny's right. As much as we all don't approve, we _need_ his help. Narcissa is captive, too. With her life at risk, Malfoy would be willing to work together this time."

Ron suddenly looked miserable, who seemed to have settled himself down upon listening to the others. He looked hopelessly at his girlfriend, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Hermione. I just…Don't want anything to happen to you if I'm not there…"

Hermione was still livid, however. She stared at Ron for a few moments, frowning venomously, "I'm going home. We'll talk again once you've decided to sober up. " She didn't say another word, and turned away from the three of them, walking beyond the wards, and Disapparated with a _POP_. Ron swore under his breath and turned the other direction, storming back into the Burrow without another word.

"Great. Just another thing to deal with, right?" Harry turned hopelessly to Ginny

"They'll get over it, I'm sure. I'll talk to Ron, " Ginny answered, "It was bloody rude of him to yell at her like that."

Harry nodded, "I need to go, too. Sorry I can't stay."

"No, it's fine. I'm really glad you came to visit tonight. That'll keep mum satisfied for a while. "

"It's alright," Ginny winked, "Let me know when you're ready for our date."

Harry gave a light chuckle, "Yeah. If I don't tell you soon enough, I'll give you permission to whack me over the head with your broomstick. Honestly, I think I might need it."

Ginny placed a hand on either side of Harry's face, and kissed him on the lips, "Not a chance."

Feeling a new wave of love and warmth wash over him, Harry bid her farewell once he collected Molly's bundle of sweets from the kitchen table. Then he made his way beyond the Burrow's magical barrier and Disapparated to Grimmauld Place.

Well, the night _started_ off well. And now after Ron and Hermione's argument – which Harry felt could place some of that blame on him – it had him feeling slightly on edge. Everyone was still reeling from the War, and they were still having to make terrible decisions to set things right. It felt like they were still fighting. It was never-ending.

Entering the black front door to headquarters, the silence was immediate and deafening. He made the familiar ascent up the staircase, making slow steps with each agonising creek of wood as he went. As he reached the first floor, he saw Draco leaning against the doorframe to the sitting room with his arms crossed staring inside. Slightly alarmed, Harry walked slowly up towards him, as Draco turned towards him, remaining silent. Harry himself peered into the room to see Severus curled up on the larger sofa, with his black traveling cloak wrapped around him like a cocoon, in a deep sleep. A raspy snore could be heard, but it sounded rather sickly and disturbing. Severus shivered a few times but remained asleep.

Harry observed the sleeping Slytherin, as he walked inside slowly, and placed Molly's food container gently down on the table. He carefully left the room to join Draco beyond the door, without further disturbance.

The younger Slytherin lowered his voice to a whisper, still keeping his eyes fixed upon Severus' sleeping form, "He's been drifting in and out of sleep all afternoon. I practically had to _drag_ him to the other sofa so he could lay down because I didn't want to risk Apparating him upstairs. Cursed at me like a bloody sailor, he did."

Harry looked to find various textbooks piled on the table, some opened. Harry wondered if he could barely summon enough energy for the task. He looked at Draco, whose eyebrows crinkled in worry. In fact, he looked devastated. Harry sighed, as he also lowered his voice, "…I take it he finally told you?"

Draco scrunched up his face, slightly bitter, but his gaze still upon his Godfather, "Yeah, he did. All this time and I had no idea. How did _you_ know before me?"

"I found him sick in hiding. When we realised that no antivenom was going to work, we just…knew. He's been safe here since, and we've been trying to manage his symptoms as best we can."

"And I made it _bloody_ worse for him when I went to heal him. I brought him back. Didn't think it was going to _torture_ him all this time," Draco then turned to look at Harry, hopeless. It was then Harry noticed the redness in the younger Slytherin's grey-blue eyes.

_Had he been…crying?_

Harry clenched his jaw averting his gaze, trying to allow him a slight bit of dignity, "…You didn't know. "

"And yet _you_ bloody did. He didn't trust me enough."

Harry sighed, frustratingly, " _No_ , he didn't want to worry you. Only a few of us know, and he wants to keep it that way."

Draco gave a light, disapproving snort, "So now what?"

Harry glanced back over the sleeping, ill man curled up to the sitting room, and mimicked Draco in leaning against the other doorframe, "Keep an eye on him. Not much else we can do right now."

The younger Slytherin paused for a few moments, looking sullen until he wrinkled his nose and looked back at Harry, "You reek of firewhiskey, _Potter_."

Harry frowned, "Unexpected night."

Draco curled his lip in distaste, and averted his gaze back to his Godfather, "On the night my mother and I were attacked, I was drinking firewhiskey. And I don't mean a casual sip or two…Put it this way, since Hogwarts, it was an easy thing to turn to. It kept my mind off things for a while. Severus tried to convince me to stop, but I didn't want to hear that _demeaning_ fatherly pep talk, especially from him. I was drunk when we were attacked, and I supposed I could have done better to stop them from taking my mother, " He nudged his head in Severus' direction, "… _He_ doesn't know that. He doesn't know that I was in a drunken stupor that night, and barely registered what was happening until it was too late. Since then, I haven't touched the bloody stuff."

Harry was stunned. Draco resorted to alcohol after the War. He didn't want to believe it, but for Draco to admit that to him, was a big thing. He could see the guilt all over Draco's face. He knew he messed up. Severus tried to stop him, and he didn't listen. Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I-I didn't know."

"Of course, you _bloody_ wouldn't, Potter. You're too busy surrounded by your Gryffindor crime-fighting squad and self-righteous goody-two-shoes complex to give a toss. As if fame wasn't enough for you, and now you _continue_ to do the Ministry's dirty work, so you can gain a gold star for effort, " Draco scowled, " _Please_ , spare me the disgusting decorum. "

"What the _hell_ , Malfoy?" Harry looked at him quizzically, " _Now_ you're just talking out of your arse. If I didn't give a toss, I would have kicked you out on day one. If I didn't give a toss, I wouldn't have asked for your help to rescue the others. If I didn't give a toss, I would have left Severus to die."

Draco gritted his teeth, "You're all pathetic." He turned around to make his way down the corridor towards the ascending staircase.

" _Hey_ , "Now frustrated, Harry turned towards his direction, and stepped into the corridor, " _Don't_ walk away from me, and _listen_."

Draco clasped the staircase railing tightly, as he stopped in his tracks. It took a few moments for him to finally turn around to face the Gryffindor, looking outraged.

"You're not exactly my ally of choice, but here we are. The feeling is mutual, " Harry seethed, "But honestly, wake _up_ , Malfoy! I thought you said you were done with this petty fighting. We are not kids anymore. We have far bigger problems – You _know_ that. So, stop fighting with me on this."

"What do you expect me to say? That I am _happy_ to be here? Yeah, I'm bloody thrilled."

"Yeah well, neither am I. Don't make this more difficult than it already is, " Harry sighed, "But I also need your help with… _him_." He gestured to the man snoring away in the sitting room.

Draco scrunched up his face, "I'm not a Healer. "

"Well, I'm bloody not either. I _can't_ look after him by myself – You have to help me keep him alive so I can finish this damn ritual. Then maybe… _maybe_ , he has a chance to live. It took me _weeks_ to convince him not to neglect himself…to let himself die, or…off himself. _Seriously_ , Malfoy. Think of someone else besides yourself for a change. If it were _you_ in his place, I'd do the same."

"You wouldn't dare," Draco scoffed, unconvincingly.

"Oh yeah, wouldn't I?" Harry retorted, "The day Severus was attacked _brutally_ by Voldemort, I wanted to kill him myself. Now knowing the truth, I want to save him. Don't test me, Malfoy. Yeah, I would do the same for you. Even if you get on my nerves."

"Well, lucky me, then, " Draco rolled his eyes.

"This _isn't_ a joke, " Harry stammered, "Seriously, get a grip. Open your eyes. Everything has changed now. We are doing everything we can to reverse a world that _you_ participated in to destroy. "

Draco remained silent. All they could hear was Severus' sickly, irregular breaths in the other room.

Eventually, Draco inhaled deeply, "You know. I'm not _proud_ of what I did. I'm not proud of my choices, and I'm not proud of how everything went down. Like you, I can't change a damn thing."

Harry's face softened, "…Can we at least have a truce? The only way we can rescue your mother, and look after Severus, is by _working_ together. Let's try and fix this. Alright?" Harry took a few steps closer and extended an arm to him. It was risky, and Ron would likely murder him for it, but he had to try.

Draco lowered his gaze at the extended arm and frowned for a few moments as if he were at war with himself. He looked conflicted; repulsed, even. Harry was tempted to retract his hand and forget it all. But still, he continued. Draco's expression gradually relaxed and to Harry's surprise, he outstretched his arm and clasped his forearm, holding it firmly in place. Even though Harry had initiated it, he was more shocked about it than Draco appeared to be when the gesture was returned.

The Slytherin looked back at Harry, "Don't make me regret this, Potter." They shook their grasp until Draco pulled away.

Harry shook his head, determined, "Let's just do this right, this time, okay?"

Draco nodded, "Yeah. "He swallowed thickly, as he crinkled his eyebrows, "And also…Thanks for…Looking after my Godfather. I don't want to lose _him_ , either." He appeared uncomfortable with the words that came out of his own mouth.

_A thanks? From Draco? What is this new world coming to?_

Harry hesitated, " _Don't_ thank me. We've lost enough people already. I refuse to lose any more."

The blonde Slytherin exchanged glances in agreement and made his way upstairs to retreat for the night. Harry, still feeling slightly buzzed for the firewhiskey, turned back towards to the sitting room, and found space on the single sofa to rest his head. He didn't feel comfortable leaving Severus sprawled on the other couch by himself that night, so now it was his turn to keep a watch on him. Severus was still in a deep sleep, coughing occasionally, but went right back to his mildly gurgling breaths. Harry kicked off his shoes and drew his feet up to his chest. He didn't want to sleep yet. For some reason, he didn't feel comfortable leaving Severus alone now. He had a sudden pang in his chest on the thought of waking up to find him without a breath.

Severus began to shiver again. Harry leaned closer observing the man gently, withdrew his wand, and cast a warming charm on the man's cloak, accidentally stirring him.

"Not dead yet… _Go_ to bed."

Severus' sudden raspy voice within the silence caused Harry to jump. He looked back at the older Slytherin, who smirked underneath his ruffled curtain of raven hair.

_Sneaky. I should have known._

"Real funny. _Thanks_ for that, " Harry exclaimed, a little too loudly, grabbing his chest to feel his racing heart.

"…You're slightly intoxicated."

"I am not – "Harry frowned.

"You're not usually that jumpy, " Severus managed to open his dark, onyx eyes, and struggled to keep them focused. His eyelids felt heavy. He narrowed his eyes, observing Harry before him, "…Your cheeks are flushed, eyes moderately bloodshot, and you're far too _bloody_ loud."

Harry felt slightly offended, but chuckled anyway, "…Isn't anything sacred?"

Severus lightly snorted in amusement, "Not anymore, it isn't." He glanced over at the box of food at the table, with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, uh, a gift from Molly. She insisted I take these back. You know her, she won't take no for an answer."

"Ah, yes. Why do you think I no longer went to the Burrow, even on Order business? Last few incidences I did, I departed feeling like a stuffed chicken. "

Harry smirked, "Yep, that'll do it."

Severus exhaled, slowly, "…What time is it?"

Harry glanced wearily at the old grandfather clock in the corner of the room, "Nearly two am."

Severus grumbled to himself, as he attempted to shuffle in a new position, but winced in pain instead. Eventually, he gave up on the repositioning and sighed to himself. He closed his eyes, barely able to keep them open.

"Just, ah…rest here, okay? You don't have to move, " Harry settled back within his chair, flinging the spare blanket over his legs.

"You are not required to be here."

"No, I don't, but I can't be bothered dragging myself up three more flights of stairs, " Harry shrugged, "So you're stuck with me tonight."

"…Merlin help me… " Severus sighed in defeat, "Where is Draco?"

"Upstairs, " Harry responded.

Severus gave a single nod, too exhausted to further respond verbally. Harry watched the man's chest, rise, and fall at an irregular rhythm. His dark hair slightly damp, likely from cold sweat. His face was gaunt and paler than ever. His thin lips appeared dry and cracked, as dried blood was evident at the corners of his mouth – likely from his occasional coughing fits. The bandage plastered against his neck appeared dry and unsoiled by fresh blood, apart from the small patches of dried blood that could be seen through the dressing. He knew it was always a painful thing to remove, and at one point, Severus nearly passed out in his attempt to change it the other day. He was far too stubborn to take anything for the pain.

" _Night_."

Harry gave a small, sad smile, "Goodnight, Severus."

There was silence now, except the sound of Severus' breaths as eventually, the man drifted back into a light snore. Harry waited for a few moments before he settled back and closed his own eyes. It didn't take long until he, too, drifted off to sleep.

Hopefully, both of them can be without nightmares tonight.


	44. Kaleidoscope

* * *

**NOTE:** I have added something in here in light of something recently announced in honor of the great and late Alan Rickman (RIP).

* * *

CHAPTER 44: Kaleidoscope

**One Week until Full Moon**

Phase two was drawing near, and Harry was more than a little nervous. This was not going to get any easier, even if Harry now knew what to expect this time. However, it made the anticipation far more agonising which was also evident by Severus' fluctuating moods.

Almost a week after Harry's trip to the Burrow, Severus had been having far more 'off' days, and during that time he mostly stayed in bed, or confined to his room, feeling too sickly to move. Severus could barely tolerate staying on his feet for long periods of time, so Draco offered to help brew stronger potions down in the potion's laboratory on his behalf. Harry knew he was far more skilled at potions than he was, so he left the younger Slytherin to the task without arguments. Harry figured it was always best not to argue in their differences, especially during this time, neither was the place for such petty things. If Draco had a better idea in the brewing process, he wouldn't question him. Harry was sure Draco learned many of Severus' methods privately, so he didn't dare doubt the younger Slytherin. For Severus' sake, Harry really did want to keep some mode of peace between them.

Actually, if Harry would admit, Draco was becoming far more tolerable now. Or maybe Harry was just immune to his terrible attitude after being stuck in classes with him for six years. Both seemed to try their best to avoid conflict, and sometimes it was easier to agree and move on, rather than argue over silly little things. It just wasn't worth it, and the last thing they needed, was to make Severus mad. Neither of the three had any patience for it anymore. War made them weary.

Harry had also noticed that Draco had been trying to avoid Harry since he found out about his Godfather. He, too, was still trying to come to terms with it, and Harry understood his need to be alone and withdraw to think things through. Draco was more than happy to bury himself in the basement while he did so - Anything to keep his own mind occupied. Harry understood that and gave him that space, and he felt the same for a while too. However, he didn't know how to approach the younger Slytherin about it, so most of the time, he just let him be.

Despite that, both he and Draco had been taking turns with the 'Snape' round, making sure the ex-Professor was still alive and breathing. There was never a time where Harry didn't feel sick with worry upon opening the man's bedroom door. Occasionally through the day, Severus would emerge and relocate to the sitting room, or the kitchen, for a change of scenery. He hated being confined to his room, and Harry saw that he was noticeably frustrated and irritable by that, but he let him be. However, even the stairs were now more of a challenge for him. He wasn't going to argue with a sick man, especially if that man was Severus Snape. Both Slytherins were becoming slightly more difficult to deal with, with their own reasons.

That week was especially tough on Severus because he devastatingly discovered he could no longer cast his doe Patronus due to his faltering magic. And it was like watching someone mourn. Harry had to leave the man in decency and privacy within his own room, as respectfully as he could. That day, Severus did not want to see anyone else and yelled furiously if Harry or Draco dared to knock. Harry could not imagine the depth of his sorrow, given what the doe Patronus meant to him. But given Severus' reaction to it, it was like losing Lily all over again, which included his own pain of the mistakes that he made.

That caused Harry to feel even more heartbroken. The reality of the loss of that Patronus hit both Severus and Harry very strongly. And the reality of Severus' condition left a hole in Harry's heart. He didn't deserve this fate – not after everything.

The next few days were spent looking back through the Muggle medical books again, trying his best to absorb all that new information, but his mind would not cooperate. He simply couldn't focus, and he was getting exceedingly frustrated with himself. He just needed to understand basic first aid – That was all ne needed. He had enough knowledge from firsthand experience during life with the Dursley's…Managing broken bones, cuts, bruising, swelling…But he really needed to expand on that knowledge to build confidence in Severus' ever-evolving situation. Given what Harry knew, Draco was more adept in healing spells than he was, so it was something at least.

Hermione had visited several times during that week, looking back through her own books in a bid to narrow down their search for the others. They still didn't have a lot of information to go with, which caused everyone much frustration. However, she was able to eliminate certain places from her ever-expanding list. One small step forward, three large strides back, it seemed. She had procured a map of Britain and Ireland and pinpointed places of interest and possible locations. She made colored pins and littered them all around the maps, along with an amusing set of colored post-it notes containing important information, and exes eliminating some. It almost became like a little project.

Harry had suggested to send out members of the DA in pairs to further scout these locations, and initially, Hermione dismissed the idea because of how risky it was, but eventually realised they will need the extra help to further strengthen their search. The pair sent out word to the DA for anyone interested in the task, and Dean, Katie, George, Angelina, Seamus and Hannah, and Luna were more than keen to lend their assistance.

It was definitely a start.

Ron and Hermione had finally talked it out, regarding the argument at the Burrow a week ago, and were now back on good terms. Apparently, Ginny had given Ron a good sisterly pep talk, which seemed to enable him to finally come to his senses. Harry was grateful because it was one other thing he didn't want to be dealing with.

Regardless of everything going on, Harry was going slightly mad.

Hermione, however, encouraged – no, _insisted_ \- that Harry get out of the house to get his mind off things, so Harry decided to finally set his date with Ginny that night. He was reluctant at first to leave Severus in the state he was in, but Hermione offered to stay, with Ron present this time. Draco was still lingering in the basement, so there were people around if anything disastrous were to happen.

"Harry, I _know_ you are stressed."

Harry winced, "Is it that obvious?"

Hermione shot him a dull glare.

"Yeah, but…"

"Quit _stalling_ , and just get it over with. Ginny's not going to bite!" Hermione looked amused.

Hermione had sensed Harry's nervousness upon his upcoming first official date with Ginny. He was completely out of his depth, and Hermione was rather entertained by his sheepishness about the whole thing, and frequently reassured him not to worry. She ended up giving him some ideas, but Harry felt too uncertain to even consider any of them. Harry wasn't highly creative on the relationship front – he was far too simple, and he hoped Ginny wasn't bothered by that. He knew deep down she wouldn't, but still, Harry felt out of his league. How cheesy was he willing to go on a first-date basis?

_Ugh, I'd rather re-slay the Basilisk._

Hermione smiled, "It'll be alright, _honestly_. You both need some time together. It'll do you both some good…Just be yourself, like always. You're not supposed to pretend to be someone else on a date."

"Yeah, be _myself_ , " Harry repeated. Was he really that self-conscious?

"Oh, Harry, for goodness sake, it's not a blind date. She _knows_ you. You've been together, so just relax. Why are you so worried about this, anyway?"

Harry bit his lip, because even he was unsure of himself, "I dunno. I just feel… _awkward_. Or maybe the thought of an _actual_ date, is…nerve-wracking."

"Nerve-wracking? Say's the one who defeated Voldemort two months ago."

"Not even close to being the same thing. "

Hermione smirked, "You'll be _fine_. She's not going to hold it against you. Just don't think of it as a _date_ , like some romantic obligation or something. Just be with her, and she'll appreciate that. Honestly. You both deserve time alone, away from everything."

Harry felt a little foolish, but she was right. Although it didn't stop Harry from internally freaking out about it. Even he didn't really know why the idea of it bothered him so much. Perhaps it was their first proper step ahead, all snogging aside. Not that Harry hated the idea of being _cuddle-buddies_ – as Ginny amusingly put it – but it was the mere reality of a possible blooming relationship. They mutually broke it off before his Horcrux-hunt, because of the moral call of duty, and now they can finally pursue what he wished they could have had before. Perhaps he was scared of it being ruined again.

_Should I bring flowers? …She'd probably find it cheesy. Bottle of wine? Ugh, no? …Maybe? I don't think she likes wine. We have to be eighteen for that though, right? Should I ask Ron what he thinks? Oh, no, he probably won't have a clue either. Not even going to dare to ask George. What do I even wear? I don't want to over-dress because that seems ridiculous. I don't want to look like I'm trying so hard. Ugh, I'm hopeless. The Boy Who Was Too Nervous to go on a Damn Date._

Harry took the liberty of arriving at the location to set up something simple, with Hermione's assistance, which he was extremely grateful for. It was such a strange thing to be doing, and he sure hoped Ginny could still tolerate his amateur awkwardness. Hermione was amazing in making sure everything went smoothly – Harry couldn't cook, so he spent time in the Grimmauld Place kitchen with her making a dish he was sure Ginny would like. So, Harry did opt with non-alcoholic sweet wine after all. It was at least classier than firewhiskey, and he surely couldn't pair butterbeer with the dinner they'd be having. Hermione had agreed, and they ended up having quite an amusing debate over it. He doubts they'd both like it, but there was a first for everything, right? He was sure she'd appreciate it anyhow. It was just a relaxing summer evening away – just the two of them.

Hermione hugged Harry just before she left Grimmauld Place for the night.

That evening, Harry sent Ginny a message via Patronus, " _Meet at 7 o'clock tonight outside of the Burrow. I'll pick you up. Bring your broomstick."_

Harry spent the next few hours getting ready – Yes, _hours_ because he was far too indecisive. And nervous, of course, he ended up getting laughed at mockingly from Draco, who figured out what was happening and likely overheard his date-planning discussions with Hermione earlier that day. Severus had finally emerged into the kitchen just after Draco, raising a curt eyebrow at Harry's semi-formal attire of a navy shirt, with a black vest, and black pants. It's not like he had many options to choose from. Severus had seated himself two spaces down from Draco, while Harry was at the other end finishing his mug of coffee within his hands to keep him alert for a short while before he set off. But he really did not want to deal with the other Slytherin's in the house at that point. Once he downed his coffee, he stood up.

"Great timing for a date there, _Potter_ , " Draco said followed by a mocking laugh, as he sat at the table in the Grimmauld Place kitchen having dinner.

Harry rolled his eyes, in a hurry to leave the conversation, "Do you mind?"

"Oh, not at all. I think it's quite funny, actually, " Draco grinned, "Who's it this time? Looney? Miss Weasel? Can't be Abbott, because I swear, she was snogging Longbottom at Hogwarts in the Great Hall – "

"- Bloody hell, Malfoy, hurry up and eat your dinner so I don't have to hear you again."

Beside Draco, Severus was silently cut up the single gravy-laden potato on his place, and although his expression was deadpan, Harry could see the subtle amusement in the man's eyes. Slytherin's and their forked tongues.

As Harry exited the kitchen, he heard a wolf-whistle from the younger Slytherin as he grabbed his broomstick and bag, and exited headquarters without another word.

Sometimes it was simply better not to engage anymore.

Right on time, Harry greeted Ginny who was waiting patiently in the front of the garden with a simple and casual maroon dress with a white cord around her waist, and grey leggings. Her long red hair pulled back and held together with a silver clip, which showed off tiny pearl earrings. She stood with her broomstick waiting patiently, wearing an excitable gleam in her eyes upon her beautiful, freckled face. Harry beamed the moment he saw her. Immediately he took a few steps towards her and gave her a polite kiss on the cheek. At the corner of his eye, he saw Molly inside, peering curiously through the window with a proud smile upon her face. Harry's cheek flushed slightly, as he turned back to Ginny and held his arm politely towards her. Instantly, she grabbed his arm and together they Disapparated away.

They reappeared along the water bank of the Great Lake – the sun still high and bright, casting the final summer rays of the afternoon. It was still rather warm, but tolerable, but they were greeted with a welcoming breeze that took that final bit of humidity away. Hogwarts gleamed rather majestically in the background. No matter how many times he had seen it, it still took his breath away.

"Okay Ginny – close your eyes, " Harry teased.

"Oh, no, " Ginny grinned.

Harry couldn't help but chuckle, "It'll be fine, I promise."

_It's only Ginny. Relax. It'll be fine. Why are you so nervous, anyway?_

Ginny gave Harry a curious smile and closed her eyes obediently. With her arm looped over Harry's as guidance, together they walked along the lake and arrived at a small wooden table that Hermione had transfigured for them earlier.

"Okay. Open your eyes, "Harry asked, with nervous anticipation.

Harry watched with interest as Ginny slowly opened her deep brown eyes, as they suddenly grew wide with surprise. She placed a hand over her open mouth, to stifle the delight as she looked. The table itself was adorned with a simple, small bunch of sunflowers – because roses were cliché -, with candles ready for when the sun disappeared. Harry had borrowed some of the fancy, antique plates from Grimmauld Place and set them out – _bless you, Hermione_ – along with the wine and two fancy silver goblets. It turned out better than Harry imagined, but he loved her and seeing her smile was the best response he could wish for.

Ginny dropped her broomstick on the floor, and wrapped her arms around Harry in delight, "Oh, I love it! This – This is – wonderful! You seriously went all out!"

Harry smiled, "Well, I couldn't have you wait all this time, for a simple stroll by the lake. I mean, it's not much, but – "

"- Are you _kidding_? This is perfect!" Ginny grinned.

"Well, I won't say perfect…"

"Oh shush, it's great, and I love it. You're far too self-critical, " Ginny grabbed his hand and led him to the table. Harry pulled out one of the chairs, and allowed her to sit down first before he followed suit at the opposite chair, "I managed to sneak away before George found out, so hopefully we get no ridiculous theatrics from him tonight." She laughed.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm glad to hear that. Molly looked far too pleased about it."

"She's bloody nosey, " Ginny laughed, "She saw me in a dress for the first time since Bill and Fleur's wedding. She caught on quickly. Besides, she adores you."

Harry started pouring them the bottle of non-alcoholic wine to each goblet and set out the pesto pasta he spent the afternoon cooking with Hermione. He was quite pleased with how it turned out, even despite the help from his best friend. He was quite positive Ginny was aware of Hermione's hand in this, but he didn't care. Harry wasn't that creative, and he wanted to treat Ginny to something special beyond their normal, and unexpected. They both waited patiently all this time, and she deserved the world.

"So, are you seriously considering Hogwarts?" Harry asked, curiously.

" _Seriously_ , " Ginny smirked, "I wasn't kidding. Might actually give me a chance to properly think of a career path this time."

"What are your ideas?"

Ginny shrugged, "Well, I am considering signing up for the World Quidditch League, but not until I try the UK League, first, just to have a feel for it, you know? Might be fun to pursue it professionally, even for a short while. I really don't fancy a desk-job, though."

Harry's face lit up, "If my scar didn't already make me a mascot, I would have considered that too, actually."

"Yeah, and I don't think gravitating back into the spotlight is going to do you any good, " Ginny giggled, and picked up her goblet as cue for Harry to mimic the gesture, "So, how should we toast this?"

Harry grinned, "To, err, finally having a first date?"

"To no longer putting our relationship on hold because of a twisted, deranged dark wizard?"

"To…" Harry smiled, "…To _us_. For neither of us giving up on it, even despite everything."

"Perfect, " Ginny agreed with a nod, as both raised their goblet of wine, and took a sip. Immediately they both grimaced in its odd bitterness.

"…That's a little horrid, " Harry placed the goblet down, purely regretting that decision.

They looked at each other for a moment, and both immediately burst into laughter, succumbed by the strangeness of it all. Harry was happy, though. He was happy to be with her and share this rare time together. It seemed these days that they were hard to come by, especially with the ongoing threat and other problems, they were always among the others. But this time they were able to be together – just the two of them – without anyone else around. It made Harry's heart dance with blissful joy, and he couldn't imagine any other place he'd rather be in that moment. They needed this, and it was a long time coming.

They continued in conversation for a while, trying to avoid any subject relating to the problems they had – which admittedly, was a challenge in itself – but found themselves chatting away as if they had not just faced the greatest threat of their lives. It was always difficult not to think about the war they had just partaken in, but to talk about even the most mundane things such as 'guess the new Defence' teacher, or muse how McGonagall is faring as being Headmistress. Harry wondered if Peeves was still driving her mad, or if Hagrid was still considering continuing as Professor. It was almost as if they never left Hogwarts, and it was nice to forget the more depressing things for a little while.

As the sun slowly started to set, Harry and Ginny picked up their broomsticks and took flight as they made their way towards the empty Quidditch pitch. Seeing it unoccupied was strange, but nostalgic. So many memorable matches happened here, and he envisioned the stands been filled with cheering students and faculty, adorned in House colors and visual fanfare. He pictured Madam Hooch blowing the whistle because of two unruly opposing players, or Lee Jordon and his fantastic commentary. Or even Luna's attempt at commentary, which left Harry grinning to himself, because of how many times she shifted her focus from the actual match itself. Or McGonagall being fed up with the both of them. Or that time in Third year where the Dementors thought it would be a brilliant idea to invade the match or even First year when Quirrell decided to jinx his broom. Harry felt a tad embarrassed when he realised Hermione had set fire to Severus' robes, thinking he was the culprit the entire time.

Ginny and Harry flew around the pitch causally side-by-side, carrying their dinner conversations further as they flew higher into the cloudy sky. Harry was reminded of his Occlumency sanctuary, and what Severus tried to teach him to settle his mind. Harry smiled to himself because this is exactly what he was looking forward to. This was what brought him happiness and being with Ginny at a time like this was beyond perfect. He felt relieved that they were finally able to take this step, thus ending the typical first-date jitters.

The sunset dipped low, painting the sky with vivid reds and oranges, piercing through the clouds like a summer painting. In the distance, Hogwarts glowed in the sunlight, and the lake reflecting those beautiful sunset colors. It couldn't have been more perfect. As the colors illuminated the couple on their broomsticks, they then took the moment to kiss, feeling the welcoming breeze wash over them from above the stadium.

Harry felt at peace, as they held hands; feeling that love and security within the presence of each other. It was more than Harry ever hoped for, and the beaming happiness from Ginny was enough to re-kindle that love within him once more. He loved her. And she loved him.

"Thank you, Harry, " Ginny nestled her head on Harry's chest, "This is…wonderful."

Harry smiled in cherished bliss, thankful for an evening that turned out better than he ever imagined.

* * *

The next day, the latest issue of the Daily Prophet became a new subject of heated conversation.

They received news about another family who was attacked at Godric's Hollow, who fell victim to the first case of the poisonous concoction that the Death Eaters had spent the last few months preparing. Two people had died at the scene, and one was taken to St. Mungo's who ended up in a critical state. The gas itself was unleashed in a single property and had luckily remained contained by Auror responders at the scene. But there was little hope for the two that lost their lives, as they were found suffocated, their lips blue with cyanosis, and blood seeping from their ears and nose. Even Draco was disgusted when he read the _Daily Prophet_ for himself.

If that was a _test_ – what else were they planning? The thought sickened Harry. He wished he still had his visions, so they could find the vile bastards quicker before they kill or torture anyone else. But now they were all running blind.

Draco had left Grimmauld Place soon after, to scout Godric's Hollow alone. Severus was highly against the idea as not to find himself at the wrong place at the wrong time, but Draco insisted he'd be careful and concealed. Eventually, there was no stopping the younger Slytherin, so he departed.

Severus hadn't left his quarters that day, and Harry knew not to bother him so often with his tendency to get cranky. But Severus had still become rather sullen ever since he lost his Patronus several days ago, and he knew it was still hard on him, leaving Harry naturally worried for his mental state.

Upon Draco's departure, Harry decided to go and check on the older Slytherin and knocked on his door several times. Hearing the man's usual muffled disapproving grumble on the other side, Harry slowly opened the door to the mildly sun-lit room, to find Severus hunched at his desk scribbling away with his inked quill, which he seemed to have been doing vigorously for the past three weeks.

Harry lingered at the door, unsure if he'd be welcome back in this time. A few moments passed as all that could be heard was the scratching of the quill against the parchment. Eventually, Severus paused to look up at the uncertain Gryffindor by the door, and frowned, "… _Well_? I'm not going to bite."

"Was just, ah, checking to see if you needed anything."

Severus responded dully, "I'm perfectly fine."

Harry just glared back, and both knew full well that he was not, " _Perfectly_?"

" _Hmpf_ , " Severus raised an eyebrow, dismissing that last question, "You look nervous. Spill it."

"I'm not nervous!"

"Then perhaps you can explain to me why you are still at the door?" Severus had noticed that Harry had not moved from his spot. Harry shifted uncomfortably and made a move to sit on the spare chair at arm's length to the ex-Professor. Severus watched his every move, observing the boy's face. Harry hated being studied like this because it usually meant that Severus knew more about him than even he dared to admit himself, and it felt far too personally invasive. "…You remain hesitant of me."

Harry blinked in confusion, "What? No, I'm not. I just figured it's best I give you space."

"As appreciative as I am of the gesture, I know full well that is not the reason. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you allow it to glow like a beacon. So, spill it."

Harry gave a lazy shrug, "So what if I do?" Severus glared into Harry's eyes, knowing that instinctively Harry would look away in defeat. And so, he did, "Okay, _fine_. But I'm really not hesitant of _you_. Just…Afraid of what I might find every time I come in here. And I don't need you saying I'm _pathetic_ for worrying, because I don't exactly fancy coming in here to find you dead on the floor one of these days."

Severus gave a tired sigh, placing his quill back down on its holder, and gently pushed away from the half-written parchment. He leaned back in his chair, grasping the sides of the armrest as he did so. He watched Harry closely as if trying to figure out how to proceed. Severus eventually ran a pale hand over his face, "Harry, I am _racing_ against the mortal clock. I may be able to make it through phase two, but phase three may be a little out of my reach. I do hope you realise that, and I _must_ have you aware, that you shouldn't become so caught up in it. Do _not_ waste such precious time, _especially_ on me. Understood?"

Harry scrunched up his face, "No. No, I won't accept that. I _know_ you are getting worse, but I'm not just going to stop trying. A week from now, the ritual will be close to completion…Stop _dismissing_ it like it's nothing."

"I'm remaining realistic, " Severus responded as-a-matter-of-factly, "It would be wise of you to do so, too. You all have lives, while mine is hanging by a thread. There are far more important things you should be worried about, than… _me_. I want no pity, nor guilt, from you. I will deal with it as it happens, but Harry, I do not wish to discuss that any further."

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself space to compose himself. They were so close, yet so far until Phase Three. It was cruel and painstakingly time-consuming, but he was right. He had to be realistic about this. Although he had a slim possibility to survive, it was only true that things will end far worse for him. Unless by some miracle, everything goes to plan. In whatever world that may be, but definitely not in this one. Reality bites.

The Gryffindor opened his eyes once again, to find Severus still watching him. The man's expression, although considerably mournful from the loss of his Patronus, was exhausted and defeated. It was difficult for him, without a doubt. Dealing with this terrible illness that could end him at any time, causing him so much pain and unnecessary suffering. Was this what Dumbledore would have succumbed to if he didn't ask Severus to end his life? He could not ever imagine a powerful wizard such as Dumbledore reduced to a vulnerable, suffering man. Harry had already endured watching the older wizard in agony during their last adventure in the cave, and that was incredibly difficult to witness. Putting Severus through almost exactly the same situation was also terrible and every day, the Slytherin was being stripped of his dignity and even pride. It was just…unfair.

Harry drew in a deep breath and looked away from the ill man before him. He eyed the parchments on the desk, "What have you been working on? Hermione's not giving you mock essays to mark if she?"

Severus snorted lightly, "That would imply I care enough to assign her any to write in the first place, " His expression turned blank once again, "I've had sufficient time to ponder about what you had asked me a few weeks ago, as of what my _personal_ ambitions were if I didn't become a Death Eater."

Harry tilted his head, with interest, "You're…writing a book?"

Severus pursed his lips, "Possibly. It is merely a collection of advanced ingredient preparations and improved potions; some of my own creation, such as the _Animo Silentium_ elixir, and others that I've not shared with anyone."

"I didn't think you actually _wanted_ to give away your secrets, " Harry was a little surprised.

"When I pass, it's not going to matter much, now is it?"

Harry's shoulder's slumped, " _Please_ , don't be so nonchalant about it."

Severus clasped his hands on the table in front of him, " _When_ that time comes, you are welcome to do with it what you will. There's no point in me writing this down, if I have no intentions for them to be put to use."

Harry nodded, "Maybe the Hogwarts curriculum could use with a post-war overhaul. I don't think anyone is going to give a toss about a cure for boils anymore."

Severus gave a subtle smirk, "I've had many an argument with the School Board in regard to the curriculum, I assure you. If I had my way, I wouldn't have been _teaching_ half of them. Furthermore, I did better alter the potions I set for my classes. Why do you think I never _once_ asked you to follow instructions from a lousy textbook, as opposed to my own written instructions?"

Harry frowned in thought, "Huh, well that makes sense. That also explains why I did better in Slughorn's class because I was technically still learning from you."

Severus gave a single nod, smirking as he did so, " _Precisely_. Speaking of which, are you still considering the Headmistress' offer?"

"…Of?"

"Caretaker."

"What?" Harry blinked.

"The role of Professor, you _dunderhead_."

" _Oh_ , " Harry gave a sheepish laugh, "Well, I haven't said _yes_ yet. I'm interested, but I would actually like some time off after I finish my Seventh year. Give me a few years."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Be grateful you _have_ a choice. Besides, given how well your DA stint turned out, _rumor_ has it that you were rather…exceptionally adept. Albus was a little too pleased, even though rules were always far beyond you."

"I wouldn't haven't gotten this far if I didn't break any, " Harry couldn't help but grin proudly.

"That much is clearly obvious."

Harry paused in thought for a moment, "…Sir?"

"Hm?"

"What does it feel like to…" Harry frowned, trying to formulate the right words within his mind without with it sounded foolish, "I mean, you spent half of your life going from one master to another…In a sense. And now, you don't have to answer to either of them anymore. You must be relieved."

Severus raised his chin, eyeing the Gryffindor carefully, "Relieved, _perhaps_. Also misplaced. After a lifetime of being used and treated as an object - and half that time spent in _servitude_ of two great powers - one would naturally feel… _lost_."

Harry averted his gaze briefly, apologetic for asking, "Sorry to ask a dumb question."

"Hardly. If it were truly a _dumb_ question, I would have provided a _dumb_ answer."

"Well, I think we can both agree that everything happened because of a _dumb_ Prophecy, " Harry responded, a little awkwardly.

Severus remained impassive, however, "Yes, quite right. Although, I do find it rather ironic that you killed that wretched snake."

Harry shook his head, "Ah, no, that wasn't me."

Severus frowned, " _What_? Who had the honors?"

"…Neville, " Harry couldn't resist a grin.

" _Impossible_. I don't believe you."

"I'm not kidding. He's your avenger."

Severus' mouth opened in surprise, "Mr. Longbottom? _HIM_? …I would have never thought him _capable_ of such a feat. How, pray tell, did he accomplish that?" It was rather amusing that he still didn't look entirely convinced.

"The sword of Gryffindor, " Harry explained with a smile, "Yeah, well, he's grown a lot. Especially since the start of the DA. You should be proud of him. He even metaphorically gave Voldemort the middle finger. Fearless, that one."

Severus remained stunned and speechless by the revelation.

Harry paused for a moment and twitched the corner of his mouth in a half-smile, "You know…I'm glad."

Severus looked confused, and returned the gaze with a frown, "…For?"

"This. Just… _talking_ , " Harry felt a bit silly mentioning it, but given Severus' ill-health, he didn't want things to be left unsaid for fear of never getting the chance again, "I wish we had a chance to earlier, before everything went to hell. Maybe I would have spent less time hating you out of _vengeance_ , and more time understanding… _why_."

Severus' expression softened, "You do realise, I never intended for you to know. _Any_ of this? I made a promise to Albus to _never_ allow you to know the reasoning behind what I did, and what I had to do. I gave you those memories in…desperation at the _brink_ of my demise. I was unable to confront you to tell you in person. There was no chance left for me to do so."

"…Does that mean you regret it?"

Severus crinkled his eyebrow slightly, "I am unsure. In a sense, I still do. As mentioned before, nothing else is sacred. It was the only way you could understand and trust the information I gave you."

"But why didn't you want anyone to know? And I don't mean _because_ you were undercover. I remember that memory, you said it - "

Severus clenched his jaw, as his deep voice wavered slightly "- _Ashamed_ , Harry. I felt ashamed. When you viewed my… _incident_ …back in my Fifth year, I was rather surprised you didn't further approach me about your mother. However, relieved you didn't, nonetheless."

"Would you have told me anything, if I did?"

There was a brief flicker of smugness from Severus, "I would have fabricated something for you, I'm sure of it."

"Of course, you would've. But…I understand now, " Harry responded, as he rose from his chair, but didn't move as he studied the man before him. He didn't know what to say. Instead, he stood there in a dazed stupor, thinking about how messed up this situation was and wished that there was some way to grasp that sliver of hope again. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He had enough of death. He had enough of facing it.

"I remain truly grateful for that. Even despite my past actions against you."

He met Severus' gaze once again; the onyx pair were clearly fatigued, but there was a flicker of fear behind them now. As nonchalant as the man tried to be, there was no mistaking his need to conceal his impending fate. It was obvious, even if Harry was the only one who truly noticed it. Both pairs connected upon unspoken words – Both wishing for a better way. Harry couldn't hide it, of course. His eyes glistened over, and Harry turned to leave before the sadness enveloped him once again.

* * *

**Four days until the Full Moon**

"OI, _POTTER_! GET DOWN HERE!"

Harry awoke the following morning with a jolt from the yells emanating from the lower floors. Once he placed his glasses back on his face, he blearily looked at the clock between his sleep-induced blurry vision. It was four-thirty-five in the morning, and it was still pitch-black outside.

"BLOODY HELL, POTTER!"

Still half-asleep, Harry snatched his wand from his bedside table and bounded for the lower floors, wand defensively outstretched. Were there enemy's downstairs? Was Draco being attacked? He had no idea what to expect, as he made his way down each flight of stairs, observing each floor as he went. Eventually, he reached Severus' room on the second floor, as his door swung wide open. Harry picked up his pace as he entered, to find a panicked Draco leaning over Severus, covered in blood. As Harry stepped closer, he could see that Severus' wound was hemorrhaging. There was blood everywhere – all over the bed, Draco's grey silk pajamas, and even the floor. The older Slytherin's shirt was torn over, and all Harry could see was the cursed tendrils weaving on the surface of his white skin and had traveled to his torso on his left side.

Severus was making awful gurgling sounds as the fluid built up within his throat.

"About time you showed up!" Draco yelled at Harry, but he looked wildly frantic as he tried to staunch the wound with his hand, " _Severus_ – I can't stop – he's bleeding – how do you -"

Harry quickly grabbed the new stack of clean gauze from the side table, and slapped it against Severus' neck, taking over from Draco's attempt. Severus' eyes were fluttering in and out of consciousness, as his body was tremoring from the loss of blood, as his breaths were rapid and irregular. The cloth instantly filled up with blood. The man's pale arms desperate to grab hold of something, and suddenly Harry was getting déjà vu and tears pricked at his eyes trying to ignore the memory creeping back within his mind.

"How the _hell_ did this happen?!" Harry responded to the younger Slytherin.

Draco raised the back of his unsoiled hand to his forehead, visibly panicking, "I went to the loo, and…I heard him coughing…and it sounded _horrible_ …and…"

Harry pressed harder against the man's neck, hearing a sudden yelp of pain. Harry winced apologetically, "Malfoy, I need more gauze…lots of it…conjure me something, _quickly_!"

Draco reached a shaking bloodied hand to retrieve his wand, and muttered a combination of spells, as a large stack of clean cloths appeared beside them. Draco looked disheveled, as he handed them to Harry, who swapped it over quickly, pressing harder onto his neck. Severus' dark eyes struggled to focus on the two frantic teenagers, as they tended to him. There was nothing but sickly sounds emanating from the man, as he struggled under shock.

"Stay _awake_ , Severus! Try and keep your eyes open – _dammit_! – Malfoy, be ready with the blood replenishing potion…On the table there…The dark red vial…" Harry barked out orders, keeping his eye on the wound he was trying desperately to suppress. He shifted his hand around, pressing harder, trying not to crush his windpipe. "…I'm sorry…"

The blood was starting to slow, but only slightly. Beads of sweat were running down Severus' sheet-white face. A weakened hand grabbed hold onto Harry's arm, and he felt an instant coldness from his skin.

"Malfoy, pour the potion now, while he's awake, " Harry watched as Draco clasped his hand to support the man's jaw, as he poured the thickened blood-red liquid down Severus' throat. He spluttered a few times but managed to get most of it down. Draco then grabbed a thick blanket which was folded atop the chest in the corner and threw it over Severus' body. With his wand, he placed a warming charm over the top. Slowly and surely, the blood flow was slowing further, as Severus' breathing began to regulate again. His eyes drifted shut, as he eventually passed out.

Draco leaned over the frame at the foot of the bed and stared at Severus' blood-covered form with a look of utter devastation, trying to recompose himself after what had just happened. Suddenly the younger Slytherin turned around and threw a punch at the nearest wall, growling under his breath in frustration. Harry started to re-bandage the wound, and now that Severus was out cold, he could do it without him being uncomfortable with the pain. Eventually, Draco came back to his senses and began to clean up the blood that had made quite a disastrous mess. It looked horrendous.

They did the clean-up silently, not ushering a word to each other. Harry re-shuffled the potions on the table, getting them ready for when Severus awoke, as Draco dragged the chair closer to Severus' bedside and sat down hunched over with his head buried in his hands.

"You did good…He'll be okay for now…He just needs rest… " Harry's voice croaked in the bitter silence, "…I'll leave you alone with him, okay?"

There was only a nod from Draco, and no more words would come from him.

Harry left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar in case of any other problems, and made his way back upstairs to his room. He sat down on his bed and simply stared at the wall in complete hopelessness and immense sorrow.

He definitely wasn't sleeping again.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE:** Hope you didn't mind awkward Harry +_+


	45. Penance

*****WARNING:** Self-harm within this Chapter (sorry guys).

* * *

 **NOTE:** Phase Two time! Originally this intended to be split POV, but the Severus POV was far longer than originally planned. So, you'll get Severus in this one, and then next Chapter back to Harry. At the end in the footnotes, I'll add the Latin text and its English translation for the second part of the incantation.

* * *

_"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go."_

― **Jamie Anderson**

* * *

CHAPTER 45: Penance 

**Three days until the Full Moon**

Severus awoke a day later feeling as if he were run over by a herd of Erumpents. Multiple times. His already weakened form felt battered, as he ached all over. His eyelids felt heavy, as he struggled to open them, but he could sense more awareness around the room. He knew he was awake, but it was a mere matter of summoning enough energy and strength for the task of opening his eyes. Severus let out a tiny groan, as his throat felt like it was torn with razors. He felt parched – He gently opened his mouth and ran his tongue over his dry, blood-caked lips. His feeble attempts at moving his fingers were tiresome, but he knew he was awake. He just needed time to compose himself.

_What on earth happened?_

He didn't recall much of anything of what happened or why he struggled to wake up. Vaguely recalling the faces of both Draco and Harry during his struggle, he remembered nothing more as everything faded to black. He swallowed the rising bitterness and caked blood building within his throat, grimacing at the extreme sour distaste as he did so. He shivered from the recoil – his body shook several times, and that was enough to pry his eyes open. Slowly, his heavy eyelids lifted as his dark orbs finally shifted back into focus. Severus exhaled slowly, as the face of his Godson sitting beside him moved into view.

Severus attempted to speak, but his throat was dry and sore, and mere words came out as incoherent croaks. Draco leaned forward and assisted him to sit up further within his bed, shifting the pillow behind his head. Once Severus' posture in bed was adequate, Draco reached for the goblet of water by his bedside and assisted him into taking a few careful sips.

After successfully clearing his throat enough, he winced as a small jolt of pain pierced his neck, causing him to painfully clench his jaw, "…Analgesia…By the bedside…Beside my wand…The amber-colored…" With a weakened outstretched arm, Severus pointed to the square vial sitting beside his black, ornate wand. Draco didn't hesitate as he grabbed the vial, uncorked it, and assisted to tip it slowly into his mouth. Severus closed his eyes briefly, allowing himself time to swallow the thickened syrup, until he felt a slight warmth ripple through his body, relieving the consistent stabbing pain within his neck. Severus opened his eyes and glanced over at Draco's worried grey-blue orbs staring right back at him. "…What did I miss?"

Draco bit his lip, as he sat up straight within his chair, arms crossed over his chest, "You had a coughing fit, bled everywhere, and passed out. That was just over a day ago. You don't remember?"

"I remember nothing."

The younger Slytherin continued to stare at him, taking in the vulnerable form of his Godfather before him. Eventually, he snapped back from his disheartened reverie, "I – _we_ – were worried. We thought you were…"

Severus' voice quietened, "Whatever transpired, I apologise you had to bear witness to that."

Draco tapped his fingers nervously against his folded arms, "Potter informed me further about this… _incantation_ of sorts. Do you _really_ think it is going to work?"

Severus sighed wearily, "I have no answer to give you because I do not know myself."

"No guarantee? What is the point, then?"

"All for a sliver of a chance, if the spell itself deems me worthy of life."

Draco shook his head, disapprovingly, "…Sounds complicated."

"Well, the Dark Lord wasn't about to make his curses easy to vanquish, now would he? This was his cruel design. A _failsafe_."

Draco paused for a moment, "And there _really_ is no other way? …None at all?"

"None at all."

The younger Slytherin growled under his breath, defeated, "The next Full Moon is in three days' time. Potter told me about the implications of _being_ there, but _I'm_ going. You've got another thing coming you think I'm going to wait here and sit on my hands."

"It is imperative that you take that warning _seriously_ , Draco – "

Draco shook his head, " – Why should I? So, you can leave, and potentially drop dead out there? No bloody thanks."

Severus responded sternly, " _Stop_ worrying."

"Stop worrying? Are you _mad_? Hell, you even have _Potter_ worrying about you – " Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing, " - You're my _Godfather_. If you leave, I have no one left. _No_ one."

"And here I thought you were angry at the very sight of me. "

Draco crinkled his brow and confusingly shook his head, "No - I was _mad_ at you for switching sides without any of us knowing. You can't _blame_ me for being furious about it. But dammit, I don't want you to…- "

Severus tilted his head slowly to one side, "- I do not blame you, Draco. You have _every_ right to be furious with me, but I never intended to abandon your family. Things at the end took an… _unforeseen_ plummet to the depths."

"Yeah, they sure did, "Draco peeled his gaze away briefly and stared at the array of multi-colored potions by the man's bedside, "Did you need extra potions brewed? You seem to have the entire St. Mungo's supply here."

Severus gave a light, dry chuckle, "It is indeed quite the collection, " He shook his head, "Not at all. I will take another blood replenishing potion and an antidote shortly. Although, I must make use of the invigoration draught today because I will be severely weakened for a few days prior to the second phase."

" _Wonderful_. Bloody wonderful… " Draco responded sarcastically, "I noticed that _Granger_ brewed those nutritive and rehydration potions earlier today for you…Might be wise of you to start taking them."

"Lucky me… " Severus responded rather dully until he paused and raised a quizzical eyebrow, "…You didn't berate her?"

"What, that Mud – "

Severus' eyes widened, "- _DON'T_ use that word."

Draco swallowed thickly, recoiling slightly within his chair, "Oh, uh. No…I don't like being here when she is, but she's…helping you. I can't say no to that."

Satisfied, Severus gave a single nod, " _Good_. Now, leave me, Draco. I'll join you later."

Pleased that Severus was awake and alert, Draco left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving his Godfather in a solitary state once more. Severus still didn't have much energy to move much yet, but as he eyed the stack of unfinished parchments on the desk within eyesight, he exuded a heavy sigh in reluctance. It was more brainpower than the physical energy required for the task, both of which he barely had enough of.

_…I'll tackle those blasted things later._

Once he managed to ingest the additional potions, Severus allowed himself to shuffle back down further within his bed, clutching the blanket, and pulling it back over himself shivering occasionally. He had enough of the analgesia within his system to allow him to sleep a little more comfortably. Considering he had a day of potions to go, his body was in desperate need of rest and recovery and required the rest for the blood replenishing potions to further strengthen his system. He could afford another few hour's rest, then attempt to make himself useful later.

Somewhat.

He'll be getting a lot of sleep in the lead up to Phase Two, which he clearly was not looking forward to. After being shocked by the hallucinogenic appearances of his father and the Dark Lord, it pained him to think who else would show up to taunt him to oblivion, as if things weren't already bad enough for him. At heart, Severus was strong. But being shattered and broken down by people in his life left irreversible damage within his very soul, and each person so far had already told him how utterly pathetic and worthless he was. He already knew that, of course. It was something already so ingrained within him, that he simply couldn't think any differently. But he had no choice but to face the next emotional onslaught and pray that it would not send him off the edge of the cliff he was already stepping dangerously close to.

Severus' path has surely taken unexpected turns since he last confronted the Dark Lord, inches from his demise. Unplanned, as though his supposed death was, he never intended to fight it if that time had finally reached him. Even though at that point, he didn't expect to live long enough to see justice upon his old master, and Lily's life finally avenged. But no. He was willing to embrace death because there was nothing else left for him. What more could he possibly have fought for at that time? Death was, in his _own_ dying eyes, merciful.

But somehow now, even loneliness didn't feel quite the same anymore. Being alone now, felt remarkably different as opposed to his last seventeen years spent in solitary isolation of his own making. Once he did his duty as a teacher for his classes of rule-breaking misfits, he spent the rest of the time alone in his private quarters within the dark and murky dungeons of Hogwarts, feeling that blissful silence like a well-earned relief. But those days are over, and now, even being alone felt different.

Because for the first time in his life, he wasn't alone. He truly wasn't this time.

To Severus, at first, that change in events admittedly scared him. He had conditioned himself to deal with that loneliness by only trusting himself. He was his own security. His own protection. Yes, he did have Albus who guarded him within the grounds of Hogwarts, and away from his initial Azkaban fate. But as a spy and forced undercover wizard, he could not rely on anyone else but himself. But those days are gone now, and he knew…He knew now that he was not alone. Now that a small group of people knew that truth, and what he had to do – Now he spent the last few months trying to rebuild the relationships he had no choice but to destroy for the sake of 'the greater good'. For the sake of Albus' grand plan to weave Severus back into the Dark Lord's web of darkness and death.

Severus was far from equipped for this new change. Not just the change within the fate of the wizarding world now, but a change within _himself_ that he never knew he was even capable of. What madness did this world come to, when Harry Potter was willing to do whatever he could to save his life. Severus' own miserable, ill-fated life. A life that should not have been wasted on him, because all he ever did was _destroy_ lives. He was a burden and a wretched evil to others, and thus, always believed of him undeserving of a good life. Unlike all those around him.

He never dared to give himself hope.

But maybe. Maybe there was a chance. A small chance, perhaps. But still, a chance that maybe he can live without those burdens, and perhaps live with the notion, that after all these years, there were people who actually did care enough for him. Harry and Draco were the key. Both young men being the only ones who truly showed him any kind of empathy, although Draco did indeed need a little extra work in that degree. But _Harry_ – That undeniable empathy and kindness that carried him through all his school years, despite the darkness he also faced, would be Severus' undoing.

This child…This young man, now…Brought upon a change in Severus that he never thought was even possible.

And that was _his_ sliver of hope to fight for a better life. A new one.

Even those who live in the shadows can change, right?

* * *

Severus allowed himself to sleep a few extra hours and dragged himself up from within his bed feeling every ache and pain as evident as before. As he sat upon the edge, he picked up the vial of the single invigoration draught on his side table and downed it like he was taking a shot of whiskey – which really didn't sound too bad at that point. It took a few minutes for the liquid to seep into his system, giving him newfound energy for him to be remotely productive for the rest of that day. He went and took a shower and settled back within the comfort of his usual day attire, being careful to allow a few loose buttons at the top from where the bandage took much of that space. The bandage was constricting enough, and he was tired of dealing with it every day.

He began to make his way downstairs to the kitchen, and carefully as he could upon over-exertion – _blasted stairs_! As he could hear voices emanating from the kitchen below via the stairwell, he could make out some of the conversation.

"- Harry, we don't have to organise something big. Just a gathering. That's all."

"You're lucky I managed to convince Hermione not to set up a surprise because you'd probably kill us for that."

"Look, guys, I appreciate it, but I don't think I'm in the mood to celebrate."

"Well, we weren't able to celebrate last year, and you'll be eighteen soon! We can't just do…nothing."

"It's not the right time for it."

"Mate, it's your birthday. There is only _ever_ one time a year for it."

"You know what I mean."

Severus managed to smirk to himself in time to make his appearance shift to his neutral expression as he walked into the kitchen to find Harry chatting to his other two Gryffindors. They stopped their hushed voices immediately, as Severus swept past the three in his bid to settle himself down on the far end of the table. Kreacher wasted no time and prepared his usual tray of tea along with the latest _Daily Prophet_ – which had become Severus' little ritual in the past few weeks. Severus slowly lowered himself to the chair at the very end, and with a heaved breath, pulled the newspaper in front of him. The other's begun chatting amongst themselves in their hushed voices. Severus couldn't care less what mundane things they were talking about, and he could barely focus himself much these days to pay close attention. Lately, in his sickened disarray, he finds himself losing focus rather quickly and 'zoning out' a little too frequently for his liking. At the rate he was going, he was on par with his unruly first-years.

This was his last day to get in as much tea and food as he could possibly consume. Round two of fasting began at midnight, and he was in for another few rounds of hell in the lead up to Phase Two. He couldn't wait to get this over with, whether he lived through the end or not.

Severus picked up one of the jam scones on the table and bit into it. Immediately, he grimaced from the sweetness that he was not used to. His tastebuds have been all but playing havoc on his appetite, and he placed the half-bitten scone back down on his napkin in disappointment. Picking up the ginger tea, he managed to try and dissolve the sweetness with the bitterness of the ginger and lemon.

"…Sir?"

Severus didn't look up from the _Daily Prophet_. He sighed, wishing he weren't roped into their conversation, " _Yes_ , Mr. Weasley?"

"So, what do you think we should do about this attack with that strange potion?" Weasley questioned.

" _Nothing_."

"Nothing?"

Severus looked up and stared with his usual steely gaze, "You heard me. Don't go foolishly chasing it, _therefore_ , stay away from public locations until further resolve. That is my suggestion."

"Then _how_ are we supposed to track them down?" Granger questioned.

"I am no seer. If you'd rather be enlightened as such, seek out Professor Trelawney."

Harry snorted disapprovingly, "No thanks. If we get another prophecy, I'm going to lose my mind."

Severus looked at Harry sourly and clicked his tongue, "Point taken."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I've further narrowed the search. Although I still can't fathom what this red powder may be, " Granger interjected, "I just wished we had some sort of…point of reference. A _landmark_ , or something. Finding a specific cave in Britain is like finding a rock buried in the desert. It's all hidden."

"The rest of the DA are getting restless. Half of them are too worried to venture back out there, " Harry tapped his fingers nervously upon the wooden table, "Some of us even went back to the Quarry to see if they returned there, but it's surprisingly still empty. We thought maybe we _missed_ something."

Severus paused; observing the disheartened expressions upon the Gryffindors on the other side, "Sometimes the wisest choice you can make, is to do nothing. _Wait_ for another opportunity, and don't actively pursue it. Especially when danger lurks in places you presume are safe."

"Yeah well, tell that to your _boneheaded_ Godson who keeps sauntering off by himself, " Weasley frowned.

"However no business of yours, I am _well_ aware of his ventures. Though I have taught him in the ways of concealment and safe infiltration and does not require the likes of _wand_ -happy Gryffindors to deter him from his tasks, " Severus was getting irritable.

"You can't be serious? So, you have no problem letting _him_ out there, but when we do, we're irresponsible? That's bollocks!" Weasley glowered, as his voice rose slightly, "You _can't_ tell us what to do!"

Severus glared venomously at Weasley, "I can only assure you the best course of action, Mr. Weasley. If you choose not to heed my advice, then by all means, go out there and face the same danger your missing friends have faced."

" _Ronald_ , he's right, " Granger spoke quietly, "Look at what happened at Godric's Hollow. We were unprepared in that instance. We all went out there without a plan, and we lost people. Dead, injured or captured. And now they are testing this… _thing_."

"We don't know where they'll strike next with that, that's the frightening thing, " Harry sighed, "Right now, yes, we _need_ to lay low. Narrow down our search. We all have enough targets on our back."

Severus downed the remainder of his tea and slowly rose up from his chair feeling another painful sting to his neck, "Patience is clearly not your strong suit. However, I suggest you make it so. Like you, I do not particularly like standing idly by. Furthermore, you _must_ remain cautious. You'll thank me later when you get to live another day."

The Gryffindors remained silent as Severus moved past them and began to make his way upstairs for some additional peace and quiet. He refused to further this discussion, as he was already exhaustedly irritable and if he stayed any longer, he may not be able to control his anger. Severus already had enough on his mind and dealing with notoriously reckless Gryffindor's should not be one of them.

As predicted, the next few days were absolute hell.

Severus cursed not being able to have the bathroom closer – despite it being next to his room - although he was grateful to be the only person occupying that floor. The nausea he was unable to suppress by magical and Muggle means were too much to handle. Despite having nothing much in his stomach to begin with, he was excreting whatever contents were left. In some instances, blood would be amongst it leaving Severus sickened by the sight of it. Draco himself didn't have a strong stomach, so even he couldn't tolerate to support him in the time he spent hurling in the bathroom. But despite that, Draco was clearly quite concerned upon his ghastly state. He spent a lot of the time with Severus, tending to him where he could. Once he could deal with it no longer, he swapped with Harry. It was like a very odd game of tag, to see both the Slytherin and Gryffindor swapping duties so effortlessly even though they lacked in the verbal interaction because both wanted to avoid that kind of unnecessary confrontation. Severus was the unfortunate wedge between them both, and the only reason as to why both boys were not attempting to tear at each other's throats.

They were staying strong.

For him.

* * *

**The Full Moon**

Reaching Phase Two felt like crawling in a marathon sprint.

Severus was quickly losing patience as trying to manage the excruciating pain became a feat within itself. He purposely kept himself locked up within his own quarters with a Silencing Charm on the door, because it took every ounce of energy to prevent him from yelping like a wounded animal.

Well, it wasn't too far from the truth.

Right now, he didn't even feel remotely human, and he wondered if this was on par with a werewolf transformation. The urge to claw at his own skin was too great, as the pain no longer just radiated from his neck. The agony itself sent shockwaves throughout his body, and he tried desperately to grit his teeth and deal with it, wave by wave. He was exhausted. Attempting sleep when his body was extremely tense, was practically useless. He felt powerless. Pathetically vulnerable. A weak and poor excuse for a wizard. He was a Master Potioneer. A gifted Occlumens. A skilled wizard in the realm of the Dark Arts, and yet he could not find a way to overcome this.

There was no better way to fix this if any. The only other option was death.

Severus spent the day trying to desperately re-seal his mind from the onslaught of pain, but his mind was as weak as his body was. Occlumency was not going to help him here this time. The art could only shield him from attacks of the mind – The pain was a physical manifestation within his own body and that which cannot be blocked by a simple thought. Occlumency could be used as a meditative tool, much as what he instructed Harry with. But his own case was different. This was not a nightmare for him to overcome within the deep recess of his own clouded mind. Occlumency is not an ideal tool for physical pain unless it was psychological manifestations like the effects of Crucio. His own pain far exceeded psychologically. It felt like his entire body was set alight.

Severus spent most of the day in extreme discomfort, pacing within his room to deter his mind from his later task. His mind would not focus on the unfinished parchments laying upon his desk, and the sight of his bed was enough to further frustrate him. He had already made a strict rule with the others not to bother him until it was time to leave, because the last thing he wanted, was for them to see him at his most vulnerable. He wouldn't allow that if he could help it. Severus knew that he would have no control over the direction of the ritual and that alone was enough to strip him of his pride and dignity. Anything else that was beyond his power, he'd be sure to keep the two away for a short time.

Harry had already shown Draco the book which contained the details of the ritual, and the Gryffindor made sure that he understood the dangerous implications for intervening. Severus tried his best to keep the Slytherin away, but he was just as stubborn as Harry. There was no avoiding both of them when the time came.

As the clock edged closer to eleven o'clock that night, Severus exited his bedroom to get himself ready and refreshed within the bathroom. Not before, once again, expelling his stomach contents down the toilet for a short time. Once he was done, and his stomach had ceased the burning sensation, he finally managed to shower himself without any further trouble. Severus changed his dressing and took care to observe the other war wounds scattered around his body, making sure they wouldn't cause further problems. He slipped into his usual day attire, grabbed a stash of the medicinal potions by his bedside for later, and made the journey downstairs. Once he reached the entrance foyer, he saw both Harry and Draco waiting silently by the door. Harry was carrying the bag of supplies along with the second protective potion completed by Granger, whilst Draco was hugging the large tome to his chest – Both watching carefully as Severus made his way towards them.

"Let's get this bloody thing over with – " Severus huffed, as he walked swiftly past them and out the door, as the two teenagers followed cautiously behind.

Harry clasped his hand over Severus' wrist once they reached the usual Disapparition point, and reached out hesitantly for Draco's. The younger Slytherin curled his lip venomously at the gesture, but begrudgingly held out his wrist. Harry knew the location, and Severus was in no state to Apparate himself, so the Gryffindor was tasked with it. Once they arrived within the familiar crevices of the Forbidden Forest, Severus leaned on the nearest tree in order to catch his bearings. His stomach hurled once again, but nothing came out except for the strong acidity burning his throat. Grimacing at the aftertaste, he picked himself up and walked steadily ahead towards the clearing they occupied last time. Feeling the familiarity upon the grim walk, he glanced upwards to find the full moon ahead glowing brighter than ever, casting an eerie light across the clearing.

Severus clutched at his neck, as another exhausting wave of pain forced him onto his knees, panting through gritted teeth. Draco automatically dropped to his side, as Harry set up the space around them. Through narrowed eyes, Severus watched as Harry planted the five selenite rods in the earth creating a circle, and proceeded to adjust the candle and bowl of water in front of him. Meanwhile, Draco flipped the pages to the incantation as Severus shakily withdrew his wand to conjure up his Death Eater mask – the chosen vessel for this cancer within him. He couldn't wait to get rid of this thing, this…dark artifact that ruled his life along with the Dark Mark that was burned upon his skin. He watched as Draco shared the same regrettable expression upon the appearance of the Mask. Neither one of them needed the words to express that shame and regret.

"Malfoy, you need to wait back here – " Harry called out to the Slytherin, who shot him a look of loathing before he made his way over to where the Gryffindor stood.

_Now, the rest is up to me. What a joyous occasion._

Severus gave himself a few minutes to compose himself, as the pain began to momentarily subside. He knew it was about to get worse, but he wasn't about to give up now. With his wand, he tapped the bowl and filled it with water, and turned to the candle to ignite the flame.

" _Claustrum initium_ _"._ The selenite crystals glowed, as the familiar tendrils of light connected each point to illuminate a protective cage-like barrier around him. Severus picked up the white, pearly colored potion and downed the contents without a second thought, feeling the warmth of the liquid wash over every part of his battered body. Immediately he began to chant the accompanied protection spell, " _De caelo superiore…De tellure inferno…Ab igne dextero…Ab aqua sinistra…Quod incepimus conficiemus…Quocumque sequenter venit…"_

Immediately the flame of the candle shot upwards and extended its fire to the sky, while the silver bowl of water rippled amidst the protective conjuration of the elements. The leaves around him rustled, as the mild winds of the warm summer night blew through the clearing. Severus felt an unexpected wave of peace and tranquillity – one he knew he didn't feel during the First Phase. He could only hope that it was a good sign, but only time would tell.

Severus drew in a deep breath, as he stared at the aged pages of the tome in from of him, ready to chant the second part of the spell, " _Dona mihi vires ad incognita…Sine sole sileo…Quoad perierint sidera…Vita mutatur, non tollitur…Audiatur et altera pars…Non nisi in morte finis est officii…Morituri nolumus mori…Dum tempus habemus, operemur bonum…"_

Severus winced in heated anticipation upon finishing the first round of the enchantment, although nothing significant happened this time. He could feel the unnatural warmth build up within his body, and he knew that he was generally able to withstand the warmer temperatures, so something felt slightly off. His skin gradually began to flush with a burning warmth, so he proceeded to remove his black button-down coat, revealing his white undershirt. The burning still radiated and continued to rise, but he gritted his teeth to ignore the discomfort and proceeded with the incantation.

He glanced down to find his Mask glowing with a dull white light, flickering softly like a lone candle. Gentle black wisps floated in the air within the cage he set himself, and gravitated towards the object, drawing them in like a magnet. There was a mode of satisfaction as he watched, hoping that maybe the ritual was doing its job as intended. It was a good sign, but Severus really didn't want to get his hopes up too high otherwise it would just set him – and everyone else – up for further disappointment.

Severus turned to the book once more, and began to chant with his deep, resonate voice, " _Dona mihi vires ad incognita…Sine sole sileo…"_ The burning began to escalate, pausing so that he could gather further breath. He could feel a mild ringing in his ear, causing his vision to be slightly skewed as he felt a sudden wave of vertigo. He hunched over; the curtains of his black hair hung over his face as he struggled to draw in an adequate breath, " _Quoad perierint sidera…Vita mutatur, non tollitur…_ " Severus groaned as the pain began to rise once more, feeling small beads of sweat begin to form upon his brow.

"Malfoy, sit _still_!" Somewhere behind Severus, Harry was scolding Draco.

"He _needs_ our help!" Draco growled under his breath, "I can't sit still!"

"I know, but we can't do anything yet. Trust me on this. He needs to sit this through – "

Severus couldn't respond for fear of disrupting the incantation, so he pushed on ahead, ignoring the rising vertigo and the bickering voices behind him, _"…Audiatur et altera pars…Non nisi in morte finis est officii…"_ The moonlight overhead seemed to cast dancing shadows on the floor before him and appeared to be swirling in a manifestation of physical beings. Severus tried his best to cast his eyes away for fear of who they might be, but his peripheral vision couldn't help but become fixed on ahead. Severus' breaths became erratic as the pain intensified, feeling his head throbbing with tension.

He heard a familiar, deep chuckle before him, and Severus tried his best to avert his gaze away from his next interrogator. He knew exactly who that was. The haunting, mocked laugh caused Severus' cheeks to flush with equal bitter shame and humiliation.

The darkened laugh continued for a short time, until it died down to the familiar sickly calming tones, " _Ah, Severus. You could have been so much more…"_

Severus shook his head, trying to rid him of the voice within his mind. The projection, which he knew only he could hear. _Just ignore it, Severus. Ignore the old coot. He's not here. It's not real. Focus -_

"… _I gave you a second chance to live because I felt pity for you..."_

Severus felt fresh rage slowly build within him. He knew what he was doing. He couldn't let this happen. He kept his gaze peeled to the tome in front of him, " _Morituri nolumus mori…"_ Severus suddenly yelped in pain, feeling like someone had just stabbed him in the neck, feeling like his wound was being ripped open again and again. With a shaky hand, he reached for his neck and felt some trickles of blood. It felt far worse that was it was, but to Severus, he felt like it was being torn right open again.

"… _You were far too easy to sway, you see. Those strings are still attached – My most prized puppet…"_

Severus' face twisted in utter repulsion, as his gaze snapped upwards to find the gleaming smile of Albus Dumbledore looming over him like an ancient monolith. He looked exactly as he did on the night he died, and Severus felt complete fury contort in knots within his chest. Severus shook his head wildly.

" _Shut up_ , you old fool!" Severus snapped at the ether, knowing very well it wasn't real. He didn't care. He refused to cower to this form like his father and the Dark Lord did before him.

The hallucination of Albus chuckled again, _"I am the last person you should be unleashing your anger towards. You, of all people, are to blame for everything that happened. Did you forget that it was you who decided to relay the Prophecy?"_

"You _know_ I did not hear it in its entirety…I wasn't to know what it _meant_ …"

_"That fault only lies with you. Why relay half a Prophecy?"_

"You _know_ I made a mistake! Why remind me? I know, Albus…I _know_!" Severus spat, still furious.

Vision Albus remained unfazed by his response, just as he usually did, _"An entire family – a happy family - tragically and unnecessarily torn apart…Because of you…"_

Severus' fist clenched into a tight ball beside him, feeling his anger mask the physical pain that was still burning through every inch of his sallow skin. He didn't need the reminder – He _knew_ what he had done. If he could take that all back, he would. He would change his actions if he could, but it was far too late. The damage was done, and it still tore Severus from within, even after all this time. Because of him, he hurt people, and he will forever take that to his grave.

"Do you think I was _happy_ about that, Albus?! Do you think their deaths were _satisfying_ to me?! I am not that twisted!"

_"Ah, but you tried to save the life of Lily, above her husband and young child? You cared not for the latter two, only for Lily -"_

Severus' lip curled in malice, "- There was _nothing_ I could do for the child! The Dark Lord had already _chosen_ him. I could not sway his decision. You _know_ I tried! And I cared not for my tormentor, but Lily… _She_ had a chance…"

_"You still disgust me, Severus. You allowed your scorned disdain to cloud your judgment. Instead, you allowed your past to turn you into an instrument of darkness. Voldemort's pet. There was never any hope for you."_

Severus growled loudly, as he slammed the ground with his fist, "You know _nothing_! You _used_ me! You took Lily's death as a tool to control me! You never once cared about how…I felt…You allowed Potter to _continue_ his malice against me while I was a student!"

_"You blame me for Lily's death, when in fact it was you…You've always been heartless…No soul survives within in you…You cannot be saved…"_

Severus rose higher on his knees; his face hot with rage as his voice shook, "I APPROACHED YOU TO PROTECT HER! THEM! ALL OF THEM! I CAME TO YOU FOR HELP! OF MY OWN BLOODY CHOICE! I WANTED TO END MY OWN LIFE WHEN I MADE THAT MISTAKE! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME HEARTLESS!" The blood from his neck trickled further, as he could now feel blood dripping from his nose in retaliation from his bottled-up anger and fury. The warm blood continued to soak over his left shoulder, sticking the shirt to his skin. His head throbbed with a rising headache and the accompanying stress. His breaths were erratic and uncontrolled. He wanted to stand up and choke the man, but he couldn't because he wasn't physically there. Oh, but he wished he could. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around his throat and strangle the old wizard for everything he put him through up until his pre-empted demise.

He looked down upon the ancient tome in from of him, and finally gathered enough persistence to finish the second reading of the incantation with his leftover rage as he spat out the words, " _Dum tempus habemus, operemur bonum!"_

As the hallucination of Albus swirled back into nothingness along with the echo of his mocking laugh, Severus doubled over as if someone had kicked him in the stomach. His skin burned again, and he yelped in pain once more, this time feeling hot tears prickling within his eyes. His body tremored in pain, as he wrapped his arms around himself to stop him from shaking. His anger still fresh within him, and he gently rocked himself back into control and calmness once more. His voice lowered to a distressed whisper, "…I tried to save them…I _tried_ …It's not all my fault…Please, I tried…I did what I could…It wasn't enough…"

"Severus, one more time. Say the spell once more time – " It was Draco, "- _Ignore_ the old bat. You can finish this."

Severus's gaze remained fixed upon his glowing Mask, hearing voices around him which he struggled to distinguish. He didn't even know what was real anymore, as all voices were merged together within his mind, "You're not here…You're not real…"

"Snap out of it and finish the spell! We're here – " Draco continued; his voice echoed behind him. He could sense slight fear within his Godson's voice. _My Godson…Is he really here?_

"Yes, we're here. Keep going - " That was Harry this time.

Severus' head jerked upwards, and tilted it to the side, "…How do I know it's you?" He closed his eyes, in a bid to re-focus. He tried to further distinguish the two teenagers within his mind, trying desperately to convince himself that they were indeed, real.

There was a slight pause, "I puked all over you when I was a baby when you held me for the first time. Mum insisted you did, of course. She found it hilarious and told me about it when I was older. I teased you about it for years -" Draco answered. There was another pause, and Severus could hear an amused snort from Harry, " _What_? It's true!"

Severus couldn't help but curl his lip in disgust, " _Absolutely_ vile. I do not know what your mother was thinking."

"Err, I threw the filibuster firework in Goyle's cauldron in my second year to distract you, so Hermione can steal potions ingredients for the Polyjuice potion we were brewing - " Harry added.

" – You?!" Draco explained, "I got hit with Swelling Solution! Along with half the class!"

"Yes, that was indeed _idiotic_ – " Severus paused, followed by an amused snort, "However, I knew very well it was you. You presumed my ignorance?"

"Legilimency. I _should_ have known, " Harry responded.

Severus smirked underneath his curtain of hair, "That wouldn't have been necessary. Your feeble attempt at appearing innocent gave you away. I witnessed Granger leave the room, and where else would you have procured such a pyrotechnic object with a W emblazoned on its side? Though at least now, I have your confession."

"… _Busted_ , " Draco chuckled mockingly behind him.

Severus turned back to the book in front of him, feeling a new wave of energy as the teenagers were indeed successful in diverting his previous anger upon his vision of a taunting Albus Dumbledore.

_One more time, Severus. You can finish this. Keep Albus out of your mind, and concentrate!_

Severus drew in a deep breath and turned back to the book opened idly before him. He stared upon the painted image of a man kneeling much like he was, with his head inclined to the stars above. In the picture, a twisted smoky mass had surrounded him, exuding mainly from his chest. Around him were distorted murky figures with their arms outstretched and pointing mockingly at the subject in the center. Severus looked upon the picture, almost too afraid to continue. He cleared his throat, for one last chant of this verse, " _Dona mihi vires ad incognita…Sine sole sileo…"_

Severus suddenly felt his throat constrict, as he let out a struggled gasp – his chest burning upon the suffocation. His mouth tasted like soapsuds, and his panicked eyes grew wide as he realised what was happening. Grasping at his own neck upon instinct, he coughed and spluttered feeling the pressure within his lungs rise. He had been in this position before – This was that horrible day….

_No, this can't be it! No, not again!_

Panic began to rise further within him, looking wildly around him for his attacker. He fell forward onto his hands, coughing and spluttering until he felt spots of blood from within the corners of his mouth. He drew in a desperate gasp for air, as he was finally able to re-fill his burning lungs.

_"Aww, Sevvie. You know why that happened, don't you?"_

Severus' blood ran ice-cold, as his body tensed and became rigid. That voice…He could barely remember that voice…

_Oh, no. No no no! Please, not her…_

_"Don't ignore me. I know you can hear me. You do remember me, don't you? Do you remember my voice? …My face? …My eyes?"_

A breath caught in Severus' throat, as he cast his gaze downwards, doing everything within his power to avoid looking up. " _NO_ – You are _not_ here! You are _not_ real!"

Severus could hear the rustling of the leaves in front of him, as he could feel a presence loom over him, much like the Albus hallucination had done. They were playing tricks on him. His mind was playing tricks on him. It – _whatever_ it was - knew that these two would break his heart the most…

_"Oh, I am very much real. Why don't you look at me and see for yourself?"_

"NO! Be gone! I _don't_ want to see…" Severus shook his head, lowering his head further to the ground.

 _"FACE ME, SEVERUS!"_ The voice screamed, causing Severus' heart to skip several beats, feeling his head twitch to the side in recoil.

"…No…" Severus' voice dropped to a whisper, as it cracked.

_"You can't even face me, can you? You can't even look at me after everything you've done!"_

Severus whimpered, unable to respond. He held his gaze cast downward, staring at the Mask inches from his face.

_"How dare you. You ruined everything! You destroyed my family!"_

Severus struggled for breath, amidst his shattered heart, "…I-I didn't mean to…"

_"And Harry? He suffered the worst of it, because of you! He grew up without his parents and tossed aside to my wretched sister and her swine of a husband! They treated him like garbage!"_

"…I didn't mean for any of that to happen…" Severus buried his head in his hands, still unable to look at the hallucination. He knew it would wreck him completely, by looking up.

_"You keep saying that, Severus. And he spent the rest of his years being relentlessly tormented by YOU! How could you do such a thing? He is NOT his father!"_

A tear escaped Severus' eyes, "I know…I _realise_ that now…I didn't…I _couldn't_ …" He couldn't continue, as he released the sob building dangerously within his throat. He could never justify his behavior. He knew he was a monster…a vile man. He knew he did wrong. He knew he went too far.

_WHY DIDN'T ALBUS JUST LET ME DIE?! He could have said 'no', or he could have killed me, or allowed me to do it myself…_

_"You still can't even face me? You COWARD! How could I even think of becoming friends with you? …You sicken me…"_

"Lily, please…" Severus' voice continued to break, trying desperately to withhold the rest of his tears, "…I'm –"

_"- Sorry? Oh, please. The damage is done. I could never forgive you."_

Severus shook his head, still avoiding her gaze. His voice tremored, "…Stop…"

_"You couldn't even show my son an OUNCE of kindness while he was under your watch. You treated him with such animosity – I could never, ever forgive you for that."_

"… _Please_ , stop…" Severus wailed, like a wounded animal. He didn't care what he sounded like. This was just too much for him to deal with. Of all the people in his life, it just had to be her…

"LOOK AT ME, SNIVELLUS!" The voice was enraged and ferocious and frightened Severus enough to make him jump in his skin. At the booming voice, he finally looked up to find the distorted face of Lily so consumed with anger and rage, that he had never seen her beautiful face that tainted by darkness before. He allowed further tears to run down his face, as his onyx eyes searched desperately within the haunted green ones for any sign of empathy. He knew this was not Lily, but he couldn't help but feel like it made no difference. Her form was here…condemning him as the monster he always knew he was. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think straight. All he could focus on were those now-venomous green eyes staring back at him with utter loathing and repulsion at the very sight of him.

He could hear panicked voices behind them, but he could not concentrate on what they were saying. His attention was fixed only on Lily, and he could think of nothing else. He was ashamed of himself. His self-worth was shattered. His pride destroyed in a blink of an eye.

"SEVERUS, KEEP GOING!" This time he heard a yell from behind him, but his mind was dazed and unfocused. How long had they been talking? He couldn't comprehend those voices. It all seemed like a blur, as the only prominent voice within his mind was that of Lily condemning him for all his faults.

With tearful eyes, he quickly peeled his sight away to look back down at the book, and continued chanting, " _Quoad perierint sidera…Vita mutatur, non tollitur…"_

_"…You disappoint me, Severus. You chose the Mark over me. You chose darkness, over me… "_

"It was my deepest regret, Lily. It will _always_ be my deepest regret, " Severus whispered, as his voice grew hoarse, "I can never undo the damage I've done…"

_"You should have just thrown yourself off the Astronomy Tower the night you killed Albus."_

His chest heaved with struggled breaths, tightening upon his distress. He continued to chant, desperate to end this, "… _Audiatur et altera pars…Non nisi in morte finis est officii…"_ The invisible knife in his neck twisted, causing another jolt of pain radiating throughout his body. He cried out in pain, grasping his neck once more. He saw more tendrils of the curse float within the confine of his cage and was gently being drawn into the Mask. The Mask glowed again, but Severus wanted nothing more than to crush it with his fist. He could not stand the sight of it. It was repulsing, as of everything it stood for.

_"Back to ignoring me, now are you? You never did listen to me. However, did you make it this far, is beyond me. James was always a far better man than you will ever be. I tried to defend you from him, but I was clearly wasting my time. You still became nothing."_

" _Morituri nolumus mori…Dum tempus habemus, operemur bonum, "_ Severus choked out the last few words, as he completed the incantation on its third turn. He looked up solemnly to find Lily's face still remain as hostile as ever. Gone was the smile he once remembered. Gone were the shimmering eyes of pure happiness that he missed so much. She was right. He still became nothing.

Severus looked down upon the Dark Mark emblazoned on his left forearm – There were scratch marks burning red all over it. Throughout his ordeal with the Lily vision, he had been subconsciously tearing through the Mark with his fingernails. The Mark was now bleeding, but Severus was oblivious to the pain of it. He let out another strangled sob, as the sight of the Mark permanently etched upon his pale skin, was too much to bear. Its dulled black marking taunted him, reminding him of one of the worst mistakes of his life. With a shaky hand, he reached beside him and curled his fingers over a cold, flat-sided stone with sharp ridges.

He looked tearfully up at Lily, who gave him a frighteningly serene smile in return, "…Is this what you wanted, Lily?" Severus suddenly struck the stone against his skin, feeling a tear upon its surface. He didn't look down, as he struck again, harder his time. He could feel a trickle of fresh blood running over his pale skin. "Does this satisfy, you?" He struck again. And again. And again.

He felt nothing. The stabbing pain within his neck was enough to mask whatever damage he was inflicting across his left forearm. The Mark was still there, antagonising him. Severus was desperate to conceal it, and he felt that there was no other way to do it. It was there and he could never truly get rid of it. Every time he looked down upon it, he felt consumed in misery and guilt for everything that Mark symbolised. What kind of person could he have been today if he didn't take that oath? Those words constantly echoed within his mind, as he stared at the flickering flame before him. His mind incoherent with painful memories, and the inability to comprehend what was happening to him. He felt displaced. Where was he? Was he even alive?

"It's almost over, Severus…" Their soft voice came from behind him, as yet he did not know who it belonged to. They sounded upset as their voice shook. Severus blinked and remained unmoving as tears still streamed down his face.

"Severus, what are you _doing_?" The second voice was clearly panicked.

Severus was a broken man. A mess, that even he could not fix. Why did he bother trying? Why bother with a meaningless life? Who could ever accept a damaged, darkened man such as him?

"Potter, can I _go_ to him, now?"

"In a few minutes…We need to wait for the first rays to show – "

"Bloody hell. This is…"

"…I know."

 _Oh_.

Severus' body trembled with sobs, as he looked up into the horizon behind the tree line. He dropped the bloodied stone – his destructive instrument – and leaned forward with shoulders hunched. His strength was fading. There was nothing else that he could do. He watched as his Mask continued to glow, but it continued to flicker like candlelight at the end of its wick. The conclusion of the ritual that night was near, and he could already see the first rays of light of a new day. Severus shuddered as the light washed over him, and the Mask ceased its glow. Ushering the spell to bring down his magical enclosure, he extinguished the candle and sat there, unable to move and he stared motionless at the horizon. He heard a sudden rush behind him, as his Godson threw himself down beside Severus wrapping an arm around his prominent bony shoulders.

Harry had dropped to the ground on the opposite side, and stared in horror at the bloodied mess on Severus' left arm, "…What… _What_ did you do?" Harry's voice was barely an audible whisper. He didn't' expect an answer, of course, but it took every ounce of his willpower to accept what had happened.

Severus did not respond, as he simply didn't even know what to say. He stared ahead catatonically, dazed, and disorientated coming to terms with his experience that night. He could feel something gently being wrapped around his arm, as the three of them sat in silence hearing nothing else but the morning song of the birds in the trees above. Eventually, Severus looked wearily back down to his arm to see it covered and immediately buried his head in his hands as another choked sob escaped him.

Draco looked up at Harry, eyes widened, finally realising how bad this situation was.

Harry could only respond with a single, heartbroken nod.

* * *

 **FOOTNOTE** : Okay, I was going to mention something in the notes before the chapter, but I didn't want to spoil anything, so I figured I'd put it here instead. The hallucinations in this chapter are from two people that Severus respected/still respects. The visions are designed to take the extremes from both and turn them against Severus, so therefore, I do not purposely intend to 'bash' Albus or Lily. The hallucinations are testing Severus' character because it is a part of the psychological obstacle required for the ritual to work. Therefore, the visions of Albus and Lily are supposed to be kinda OOC. Just thought I'd mention that.

* * *

So, I won't repost the initial elemental protective spell – You'll find that in the Crimson Sky chapter. Below, you will find the Latin and English translation of the _second_ part of the incantation:

_Dona mihi vires ad incognita_

_Sine sole sileo_

_Quoad perierint sīdera_

_Vita mutatur, non tollitur_

_Audiatur et altera pars_

_Non nisi in morte finis est officii_

_Morituri nolumus mori_

_Dum tempus habemus, operemur bonum_

_VVV_

Give me strength into the unknown,

Without the sun I fall silent.

Until the stars fade away,

Life is changed, not taken away.

Let us listen to the other side,

Only in death does duty end.

We, who are about to die, don't want to,

While we have the time, let us do good.


	46. The Desolate Silence

**WARNING:** Suicidal/self-harm themes in this one (nothing graphic but mentioned).

* * *

 **NOTE** : So sorry for the super-late upload! Life has taken quite a hectic turn recently. Just a heads-up that the next few chapters are going to get rather politically heavy, especially the Chapter following this one.

* * *

CHAPTER 46: The Desolate Silence

"Malfoy – _Stay_ back."

"I _know_ , but…"

"I mean it!"

Harry had spent half of the incantation making sure Draco didn't run off when he was specifically told not to. He had experienced this himself the first time, so he understood why Draco was compelled to go to his Godfather, but it took every ounce of his patience to keep the Slytherin from doing otherwise. Earlier that day, Harry had gone through the plan and every fine detail in relation to the _Anathema_ _Excerptum_ with Draco in the hopes that he would understand. He knew he did, but it was resisting the urge to help Severus directly was a monumental task within itself.

Harry knew from the first time how difficult it would be for anyone who chose to be a witness – _well_ , to be there, even though they were now allowed to actually see it with their own eyes. There was a reason such things were never meant to be seen, or even heard, and it was a complicated spell that was obviously not used so commonly through the ages. Witnesses have succumbed to death if they chose to watch, because the curse that is targeted to be driven away, can easily seek out another host using the eyes as a conduit. To see is to draw it to you, and Harry was not about to let Draco be reckless and run there when there was a chance he could end up with two dead Slytherins, as opposed to the one already suffering before them.

Hearing the struggled cries from Severus was distressing, and he swore he saw as Draco clasped his hands over his ears at one point to block it out. He couldn't blame him for doing that, though. Throughout the ordeal, Harry could distinguish from the responses that Severus was giving and deducted of who the other figures may have been. It didn't take long to figure it out.

Albus Dumbledore, and his mother. Of course. Whoever else would it be? It made sense that his first two 'visitors' were both people he feared, and the second two 'visitors' happened to be people that he trusted or became close with.

It was exceedingly difficult to hear Severus' pleas and apologies – This was a side to his ex-grumpy Potions Professor that he never wanted to see. It was as raw as he could ever understand, and he felt wretched for the position that he was in. His cries…His wailing of grief…His responses…Harry had to physically hold Draco down to stop him from bolting towards him, and he happened to just miss an attempted right hook to his jaw in retaliation for the restraint. Harry growled at the Slytherin to stay seated, leaving him begrudgingly moody like a child sent to time-out.

Hey, they weren't Harry's rules.

For what felt like hours, Harry saw the first rays of light of the morning hit the large oak tree that they were facing. Once he knew it was safe to do so, he nodded at Draco, and both teenagers climbed to their feet and raced to the older Slytherin still hunched over on his knees. Draco dropped to his right side and outstretched his arm over the man's shoulders in silent reassurance.

Harry had tried his best not to gasp out loud at what he saw next, "…What… _What_ did you do?" As Harry knelt to Severus' left side, he could see the mess of blood and broken skin so evident over his Dark Mark on his forearm. Blood dripped from fresh cuts inflicted upon himself, as Harry noticed a blood-soaked stone laying amongst the mess of bark and dried leaves on the ground in front of them. As Harry conjured bandages, he began to quickly wrap them around the man's arm in desperation. The lacerations were not that bad itself, but it was the mere act of doing so that had Harry – and even Draco – deeply disturbed. As Harry finished wrapping the new wounds across the Mark as best he could, he glanced up at Severus' face who had turned white as marble. His gaze fixed ahead, unmoving, and barely blinking. He hadn't yet said a word, but it was clear to Harry that this man was in shock. His breaths were clearly shallow and almost still. Any slower, and he could be mistaken for someone petrified.

Harry and Draco exchanged anxious glances. Now, what to do?

_Home. We have to get him home._

After they sat with Severus in silence for a few moments, both Harry and Draco looped their arms under Severus' as they hoisted the man back onto his feet. Draco swung the coat back over Severus' shoulders, and Harry gathered up all the objects that were scattered across the forest floor. Harry picked up Severus' wand and outstretched his hand to return it, but Severus managed to grab hold of it with a noticeably trembling hand. Once they were ready enough, they made their way back to Grimmauld Place without another word.

As they reached headquarters, they assisted Severus back to his room, as the man continued to stare off into the distance, not appearing to register anything in front of him. It was a struggle to get him up two flights of stairs, but they finally reached his quarters and helped him into the bed. Harry administered another pain-reliever and antidote for Severus and watched in horror as Severus remained mute and in shock. Neither Harry nor Draco could get through to him, but they made the decision to leave him alone for a short while in hopes he could eventually get some sleep.

Draco suddenly grabbed Harry's arm, pressing his fingernails painfully into his skin, and pulled him out into the corridor. Draco cast a Silencing Charm around them.

Draco looked livid, "What the _hell_ is wrong with him?! Was this _supposed_ to happen?!"

Harry roughly pulled out of his grasp, and rubbed his now sore arm, "He wasn't like that the first time…He's in shock…"

"Of _course_ , he bloody is! Whatever he saw, shook him _completely_. I've never seen him like that before!" Draco hissed.

"I-I don't know, " Harry was lost for words.

"What do you _mean_ you don't know, Potter?!"

Harry clenched his jaw, feeling tense, "This is the way the ritual works. It's like a… judgment."

"Hell of a judgment!"

"Yeah, I _know_ , " Harry's shoulders slumped over, "He saw the worst two people that would affect him the most. _That_ much is clear. As to what they may have said to him, I don't know…Given his responses, it didn't sound good."

Draco was clearly concerned, "What did he see the first time?"

Harry sighed, "His father and…Voldemort."

Draco winced at the name of his former Master, "That's messed up."

"Tell me about it, " Harry responded in defeat. There was a pause between the both of them, as they both exchanged a worried glance, "You don't think he'll…?"

Draco's eyes widened in horror, "…Do it again?" He indicated to his own Mark, far deep in denial to speak the words that were heavy on his mind.

Harry bit his lip hard, and nodded, "Maybe. Or-Or…Further…"

_I can't even believe I just said that. Was Severus even capable of that…? He wouldn't think of…No, he wouldn't…Would he?_

And then Harry remembered one of his first conversations with the man when he found him hiding, wounded, within the Shrieking Shack only days after the Battle of Hogwarts. Severus has mentioned the idea of ending his life, shortly after Lily's death. Oh yes, he was capable.

Harry's stomach twisted in nauseating knots. He couldn't even believe they were both thinking that way, that it was possible that Severus could think of further hurting himself…Or worse. But after what they had both heard and seen, there was no more room left for doubt. Severus was clearly capable of hurting himself, whether he was conscious about it or not, and that was a scary thing to consider. Harry, although was depressed, never really shared those tendencies. Not for self-harm, anyway. Suicidal was never really chronically on Harry's mind, but he did remember a few occasions whether he even considered that as an option. But never was he never serious enough to go through with it. But to think a man, so once armored and fearless, now so broken and considering such acts, was horrifying to think of. He could see it within the face of Draco how scared he looked. After all, they were technically family, and for Draco to think that he may lose his Godfather too, was even more of a struggle for the younger Slytherin than it was for Harry to feel.

Draco drew in several heaved breathes, "New plan. _No_ one leaves his side, okay? We take turns. I just… _Don't_ trust him alone right now."

Harry nodded, without a second thought, "I agree." They were on the same page, so he was thankful for that at least. They knew better than to disagree on something as serious as this.

"And – " Draco pointed dangerously at Harry, inches from his face, "And not a _word_ to your little Gryffindor friends about this, _alright_? Severus is humiliated enough and doesn't need a pity party. Understand? _No_ word of this gets out!"

Harry frowned at the finger, before lifting his gaze to Draco, " _Alright_. I wouldn't know what to say to them, anyway."

Draco withdrew his hand, "Good. So bloody _keep_ it that way." Without another word, Draco lifted the Silencing Charm, and marched back into Severus' room, shutting the door behind him leaving Harry standing alone in the corridor.

* * *

Harry didn't move from the corridor much since Draco stormed back into his Godfather's room. He was too afraid to move, as the thought of leaving the vicinity made him a little uneasy. He wasn't sure if he had enough courage to knock on the door and check, but he waited just over an hour until he finally made his decision to leave them both be for a short while. Hearing the front door open gently, he ventured downstairs to find Hermione carrying another box of ingredients. She struggled with the boxes piled on top, but Harry grabbed hold of the loose items, so nothing was dropped.

Exasperated, Hermione nodded, "Thank you, Harry. Hagrid gave me a few more things, and I bumped into Professor Sprout and managed to haggle with a few of her ingredients." They both began to make their way down to the basement, "So, how did everything go last night?"

Harry tried not to meet her gaze, "Not great."

They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Hermione places the larger box on the main workbench. She looked at Harry with concern, "What happened?"

Harry's shoulders slumped, "I don't really want to talk about it." He tried to distract himself by unloading the boxes and placing all of its contents on the table. Hermione wasn't convinced.

"Is he…okay?"

Harry glanced hopelessly at Hermione, "No, not really. I just – I don't want to talk about it. Eventually, but…not now. Just trust me on that. I don't even know, myself."

"Oh, " Hermione hesitated, "If you need anything, Harry, _please_ …"

"I know, " Harry placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder, but instead she leaned in for a hug, enabling him to wrap his arms fully around her, "Thank you, Hermione. I just wish there were a better way. He doesn't deserve that."

Hermione pulled away, looking sullen, "I can see how much this affects you. It hurts that there is nothing else I can do…"

Harry sighed, "You've done a lot already. Even by brewing these potions…It's possible that he wouldn't have made it this far without them."

The pair spent the next hour unpacking the potion's ingredients and preparing them from brewing amongst the rest of their growing supplies. Harry did his best to divert the conversation, and Hermione could sense his mood plummet on the subject of Severus. Kindly, she respected that, and Harry was grateful. They spoke about Luna, who was focused on reviving _The Quibbler_ with her father which was a piece of welcoming good news. According to Hermione, Luna had plans to add in a memorial piece for the Battle of Hogwarts which was a lovely sentiment to those who gave their lives for the cause.

Hermione had further narrowed down their search, which looked promising, but they were still nowhere near finding the enemy hide-out. Most of the DA were now afraid to leave their homes again, in wake of the attack at Godric's Hollow several days ago. The wizarding community was yet again, in a state of panic. Some shops that had opened recently, now closed once more for fear of attracting the Death Eaters to their midst. Once again, people were afraid to venture out, allowing the rogue enemies free reign.

Katie and Dean thought they stumbled upon a lead but were taken to a false trail of an old, unused base at the Isle of Wight by the English Channel. George and Angelina had encountered a Death Eater just outside of Godric's Hollow lurking about, but they disappeared before any duel could take place. Again, their search came up empty.

Hermione left shortly after, as she made a promise to her parents to be home for lunch, leaving Harry alone once more. Abandoning the remainder of the potion's preparation, he tilted his mortar of freshly-ground porcupine quills into the small glass jar and cleared up the rest of the table. The rest could wait.

Ascending the stairs to the second floor, he reached the top to find Draco halfway through Severus' bedroom door.

Harry lowered his voice to a mere whisper, "…Anything?"

Draco shook his head, as he stepped out into the corridor and once again cast a Silencing Charm, "He hasn't spoken a _single_ word. I've tried talking to him, but I'm getting no response from him at all. I know he's in there, just…shaken up. He hasn't gotten a wink of sleep while I've been in there."

"…What is he doing now?" Harry felt a bubble rise within his throat.

"Sitting up on the edge of the bed, staring at the bloody floor. He refuses to even _look_ at me."

"Right, I'm going in – " Harry took a step towards the door, until Draco held his arm out, stopping him from going no further. "Malfoy, what – "

"- Hang on a second. What if he's… _stuck_ like that?" Draco looked genuinely concerned.

Harry shook his head, doubtfully, " _No_ , he's not. He'll snap out of it…He just needs time."

"Well, I hope you are _bloody_ right, Potter. Because…I _hate_ seeing him like that… " Draco lowered his arm, ceasing his attempt to stop the Gryffindor.

With a last helpless glance at the Slytherin, Harry brushed past him and walked towards the door. He drew in a light breath, and stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind him. The room was half-lit by the afternoon rays piercing through the lightly dust-filled windows, casting a warm glow into the room. The room was slightly suffocating and stale, and he wondered when the last time the window was left ajar. Severus Snape sat with his back to the door, perched on the edge of the bed. He was hunched over, leaning his elbows on his knees, and his hands clasped tightly. He still wore his white undershirt, which had light spots of blood scattered around it – both fresh and old. His dark raven hair obscured his still marble-white face.

Harry walked around the bed towards the window and opened it only slightly enough to let a mild breeze cleanse the room. The Gryffindor turned and was finally able to get a clearer view of his ex-Professor. As Draco had mentioned, he sat with his darkened eyes cast aimlessly at the floor as he sat, motionless. The man blinked ever so slowly, and his eyes barely shifted upon Harry's presence in the room. The new bandage across the man's left forearm was still intact and clean, much to Harry's relief.

But Severus himself appeared lost behind his onyx eyes as if nothing else seemed to exist beyond them. His breathing was light, and Harry could barely see his chest rise and fall, despite the light crackling heard on occasion. He seemed…hollow. A shell, of what was left behind in the forest overnight. The state of the man worried him so much, that he had to remind _himself_ to breathe, as even that felt like a monumental effort.

Harry made his way towards the bed, and sat himself down on the man's left side, averting his own gaze away from him like it was a breach of dignity to stare upon the face of a broken man.

After what seemed like an eternity in silence, Harry's hoarse voice eventually pierced it, "…Severus?"

As predicted, there was no response. Harry tilted his head slightly, observing the man's profile past his curtain of shoulder-length messy, unkempt hair.

He tried again, "Severus?" Still nothing. Harry paused, before releasing a small sigh, "…Please say something."

Again, nothing. Despite sitting right next to him, Harry could barely distinguish any audible response. There was no movement from him. He sat there, frozen. The only noticeable movement was the tremors in his hands, which remained so tightly clasped together, that his skin and knuckles turned white. Severus' face was gaunt and sunken. His hollow cheekbones highlighted the dark bands under his eyes. He looked like a man who lived a thousand lifetimes. Harry only wondered what was running rampant in his mind, though a part of him would be too afraid to find out.

"If you're not going to say anything, then… _Please_ listen, " Harry paused, desperately trying to conjure the right words to express, "Look, gathering from what I – _we_ – heard, I know who you saw last night. I know they seemed real, but…they _weren't_. It wasn't _really_ them. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, nor how to even help you deal with that."

_There it is. A stronger breath. He's still in there._

Harry continued gently, "And you can't tell me it's none of my business because it is. Too many people who were in my life hurt you terribly. It's clear to me that after all this time, you've never really been able to properly deal with it. You can keep _blaming_ yourself for their deaths, but Severus, you have to find a way to…to… _breathe_."

Harry closed his eyes, pausing to remind himself to do the same. A few minutes ticked by, and he continued, "I'm sorry that what you saw, compelled you to…do what you did. Draco is worried for you. As am I…" Harry glanced over at Severus, who also seemed to also close his eyes briefly, while his breaths elevated.

_Please, say something._

"Despite what those – _visions_ – told you…You're not worthless, sir. I don't have to hear what they said, because I recognise that feeling - " Harry's voice lowered gently, "- Because of my mother, you ultimately chose to swap sides. Without her death, you would have remained our enemy. Her life, in the end, gave yours meaning. You _fought_ for her, and with that, all of us. I know you don't see it that way, but I do."

Severus' gaze cast further downwards, as his eyes were no longer fixed at one point. Harry watched as the man's eyebrows slightly crinkle.

There was another pause of anticipation, and Harry saw Severus' mouth twitch as if he were about to say something. But instead, he remained silent. "You don't have to say anything, as long as you heard what I said. Though I'd rather you yell at me to get out, then stay silent. You can tell me to bugger off if that makes you feel any better."

Harry watched the man again, to see if that would trigger Severus to say something, but he still remained motionless, "…Did you prefer I leave?"

There was nothing. _I suppose that's a good thing – at least he didn't nod. I just don't want to feel like another thorn in his side._

"I'll stay for a little while longer, then I'll leave you alone. Okay?"

Again, there was no response to that. Harry continued to sit beside him in a strange calm silence. It wasn't filled with tension, however, but Harry respected his space. Prodding the bull would get him nowhere and he decided to allow the man to come through on his own terms. In time, he will. But for now, he needed time to process it all. Harry didn't want him to feel abandoned and isolated, which is what the ritual seemed to convince him as such. No, he wasn't going to further distance himself. If he was going to try and help Severus on a better path, disregarding his mental state definitely was not an option.

If Severus was willing to help Harry come to _his_ senses, he was sure going to extend the same courtesy to him.

Harry just needed to be patient.

Harry sat with him which what felt like an hour, and then decided to make his way out. As he reached the door, he turned silently on his heel to see Severus's body shudder as he buried his head back in his hands. Feeling a pang of guilt, Harry followed through and exited the door to find Draco waiting in the corridor as he had done previously. Harry shook his head wordlessly, as Draco responded in a nod of understanding. There were no words from Severus, but at least there was a physical response from him, albeit subtly. Sullenly, Draco walked to the door and leaned against the doorframe peering inside. There was no reason for him to hang around, so he left Draco to stand guard, as Harry wandered back down to the sitting room on the floor below.

A few hours passed, and the front doors slammed shut, resulting in the painfully screeching sounds of Mrs. Black hurling all kinds of threatening – and rather amusing - expletives at the newcomers.

_Bloody hell, now what?_

Eventually, Harry heard footsteps ascending the stairs and soon enough McGonagall and Minister Shacklebolt showed up. Kingsley was grasping what looked like the Daily Prophet in his hands. They both joined Harry and settled themselves opposite from harry in the sitting room.

"…More bad news?" Harry started the conversation in a dull tone. By the appearance of both of them, he already didn't like where this was going.

"If only I could tell you otherwise, Harry – " Mr. Shacklebolt brandished the newspaper within his hands, "We have a few things we need to discuss. Before I address _this_ , I must confess that I am aware of Severus' condition and what that implies. Minerva has updated me on that front – "

Harry shot McGonagall a disappointed look.

"Mr. Potter, I _had_ to inform him, " McGonagall responded apologetically, "We were discussing his status as fugitive, and Kingsley mentioned his intention of assigning him an undercover task, and I informed him that he would be incapable of such things. Hence why I had no choice. This is a serious matter."

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, "He _didn't_ want many people knowing."

"I know that's what Severus would have wanted, but if we are to assist him, it's imperative that the Minister was made aware. Now, where is he?"

"Upstairs, resting. He's…" Harry sighed, defeated, "…Draco Malfoy is with him."

McGonagall's eyes widened, "- I beg your pardon? What - "

Harry raised his hands defensively, "- It's not as bad as it sounds. Severus rescued him from the wreckage at Malfoy Manor. There was nowhere else for him to go, and he was injured."

"Ah, I see, " Kingsley nodded, "I was going to address that eventually. I gather he was the only survivor?"

Harry responded, "Narcissa was taken. Draco is remaining here to help us." He stared at the paper within Kingsley's hand, and threw his hands up, "So, what fresh hell are we dealing with now?"

Kingsley drew in a deep breath and handed it to Harry. Harry peered down at the article at the bottom half of the front page, and immediately he felt a simmering rage within him, "I'll spare you the infuriating read. Rita Skeeter is back to her old ways – no surprise there - and decided to fabricate an article to tarnish Severus' name. Apparently, she spent some time at Hogsmeade interviewing people who gave accounts of his appearance there – "

"- Severus was _never_ there. And yeah, Hermione, Malfoy, and I scouted Hogsmeade and saw her talking to Blaise Zabini. She's a filthy liar!" Harry snapped, throwing the newspaper frustratingly onto the table, "I, along with several others, can vouch for him being _here_."

Kingsley nodded, "Good. I, too, never believed that to be true. We are all familiar with Rita's handiwork, I'm sure. They are simply looking for someone to blame, and he is, unfortunately, the most obvious choice. Almost reminiscent of the Ministry's treatment of Sirius Black, when they so carelessly threw his name around to fill blanks. However, as it stands, it does not look good for Severus."

Harry clenched his jaw, "What can we do to clear his name? I _refuse_ to allow him to be hunted for the rest of his life because he might not even have long left."

"Surely there must be _something_ , Kingsley?" McGonagall glanced with hopeful eyes at the Minister. She looked heartbroken, "This is _Severus_ we're talking about."

Kingsley clasped his hands on his lap, "As Minister alone, I can only clear the name of a dead man. Given that the wizarding community are aware that he is alive, the Council will rely heavily on his testimony in _person_. Even then, given his unique circumstances working in secret with Albus Dumbledore, there is no solid evidence we would be able to provide, except a verbal defense from you."

"Can we have a trial without him there? What about exemption on medical grounds?" Harry asked.

"For that, he must be taken into custody and assessed by Healer's to be concluded on those grounds, " Kingsley responded, "However, he may be granted some sort of leniency if he…surrendered _willingly_."

"I don't bloody believe this. There is no way I'm going to let that happen!" Harry exclaimed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Why can't we just fake his death or something?"

"Potter, that would not be the wisest choice. He won't be a free man if we were to allow that to happen. It would be a great dishonor to clear his name, for him to go forth and live as someone else…" McGonagall shook her head, and turned to Kingsley, "What would the trial consist of, Kingsley?"

"We've been holding Death Eater trials for the last few months, and half of them received no leniency and were sent directly to Azkaban, mainly those who were in You-Know-Who's inner circle of followers. The Wizengamot are not very forgiving this time - " Kingsley paused, " - However, Severus' case is rather complicated, and our records have shown that he was vouched by Albus Dumbledore in the First War. He has, at least, a more viable case in his defense. But it all comes down to evidence and those willing to testify."

"Sadly, Albus is no longer with us, therefore we no longer _have_ his influence, " McGonagall added quietly.

Kingsley continued, "And that is where things get complicated for him. Considering Albus was the _only_ one who was aware of the entire plan, makes it difficult to build a case in his defense. Albus left us nothing to aid us with that, except the memories of Severus himself. The Council does not trust memories as viable evidence because of its potential to be tampered with."

"That's ridiculous! Can't they _detect_ tampering or something? No offense Kingsley, but the Ministry needs to make that an option, " Harry was becoming irritable.

"Memories _can_ be unreliable, Harry, you know that. There are many ways they can be manipulated, and the Ministry is aware that he is a skilled Occlumens."

"Then, take _my_ memories – " Harry added.

Kingsley raised a hand to silence Harry, "An Occlumens can _obscure_ those memories, and therefore, potentially share those altered memories with another. Not that I am saying that Severus is a liar, but I am only thinking on behalf of what the Ministry will assume. They _will_ question it. "

McGonagall sighed, "So, what _will_ help? Can we build a case solely on witness accounts, if any? I can vouch, but I too, was deceived…I _attacked_ him, Kingsley."

"And, besides him, only I know the truth surrounding the death of Dumbledore, " Harry interjected, "Would they even _consider_ my word?"

Kingsley looked apprehensively at Harry, "I cannot say, Harry. I am certain they will value your word as the Boy-Who-Lived, but you must realise, that there is not a lot of physical evidence to defend Severus."

"So…" McGonagall looked uncertain, "If – by some miracle that he agrees to it - he gave himself up willingly, could he avoid a harsher sentence?"

"Yes, I believe that is possible. But the decision lies solely with the Wizengamot, Minerva. I may have some influence over their decision, but I must remain biased. As an Order member, they will not allow their Minister to testify in his defence. My hands are politically tied."

Harry inclined his head at the Minister, "Can you – or myself - propose a deal? Like Albus did? Exchange possible imprisonment in Azkaban for continued service to the Order? After all, we are still catching Death Eaters out there, some of which, are thanks to Severus in the first place. The entire DA can vouch for him."

Kingsley nodded, "That is worth noting in the trial, yes. If you provide enough people in his defense and propose a convincing case, then with that proposal, the Council will be inclined to consider that as a part of the final decision. _However_ – "

"- He must surrender?" McGonagall continued.

"Yes. Regrettably. That will give him a _lighter_ sentence if any. And if we can plea on medical grounds, perhaps he can avoid Azkaban altogether. As long as he mustn't evade capture and go _willingly_. The longer the Auror office attempt to find him, the more ruthless the Council will be towards him."

Harry paused, trying to absorb all of this information, "I just hope the Council will be in his favor…I _hate_ the idea of putting him through this because he's already been through hell since I found him after the Battle of Hogwarts. I suppose they'll subject him to Veritaserum?"

"They will. For any attempt to clear his name of all charges, this is what must occur. He is still technically a Death Eater by Dark Mark alone, and they must judge him as such. I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's not what you wanted to hear."

Harry frowned, " _Wonderful_. Just bloody wonderful. One piece of good news would be great once in a while, but not a constant string of _bad_ news."

"I wish I had an alternative for him, " Kingsley bowed his head.

Harry's eyes darted to the newspaper ahead of him and stared at it deep in thought. If Rita could influence the community towards the negative narrative, well, why shouldn't Harry attempt to do the opposite? Reaching forward, Harry picked up the newspaper, with a small smirk upon his face, "If Rita is free to slander against Severus, then I'm going to run a campaign to provide the truth."

McGonagall stared at Harry quizzically, "Where are you going with this, Potter?"

Harry's smile grew wider, " _The Quibbler_. We've done it before, and we _know_ it's effective. With Luna and Xenophilius' help, we can work against her and provide the truth in light of what Severus did. I want the wizarding community to be aware of what he did."

There was a pause amongst the three, and Harry shifted a new excitable gaze from the Minister, to the Headmistress. McGonagall appeared deep in thought, and Kingsley had an odd curious expression on his face. Suddenly, Kingsley erupted into a chuckle, as his mouth widened into a smile.

"Harry, that is a _brilliant_ idea. Your influence will _far_ surpass Rita's. You defeated You-Know-Who, thus you are, by far, the most trusted wizard in Britain. Your word is golden – mind the pun, " Kingsley looked equally as excited.

"That is a wise suggestion, however, the only thing holding this idea back is gaining Severus' permission. There is no way he'll be comfortable with the idea, " McGonagall added.

"True, but we don't need to delve into his history. Dumbledore confirmed that already with the Ministry. What _matters_ is what he did in the Second War. Malfoy can vouch for him, too. His name has been cleared, but he had the most interaction with Severus during the time he spent in Voldemort's inner circle. His word is also golden, " Harry explained.

Kingsley nodded, "I think you have quite the plan already, Harry. Good. _Very_ , good –" The Minister rose from his seat, "I encourage you to chat to Severus about what we discussed, and what his options are. We will need his permission to proceed."

McGonagall clasped her hands together, "We'll handle that. I fear it will not go well on his behalf, but if we can clear his name...Good _heavens_ , that would be a load off his poor shoulders."

"Please update me when you can, Minerva. Harry, I appreciate your input. Contact me when you are ready to go forth with this - " With a single bow of his head, the Minister turned to depart Grimmauld Place.

Once the Minister left their vicinity, Harry and McGonagall rose simultaneously from their seats. As Harry turned to leave the room, McGonagall walked up to him and wordlessly enveloped him into a hug that Harry clearly was not expecting. Harry hesitated but respectfully returned the warm gesture from the elderly witch. The Headmistress pulled away, still grasping his shoulders, and studied Harry's face far more intently than he was comfortable with. Her aged face was full of deep concern, which matched her saddened, light blue eyes.

"Potter – _Harry_ , dear – Is everything alright?"

Harry blinked back his green ones, which considering how stressful he had been recently, most likely dulled down as he peered back at the elderly witch in recognition. Harry merely shook his head, not knowing where to start. He was aware she knew about their attempts at eliminating the curse from Severus, but he proceeded to explain what had happened that night, and how shaken the man was as a result of that. The only thing he couldn't bear to tell her was Severus' drive to harm himself. Oh no, there was no way he could even begin to explain that to McGonagall of that. It was heartbreaking enough seeing it, as opposed to talking about it. She'd be devastated if she knew.

McGonagall looked tearful, as she cared for Severus very much. Despite their friendly House rivalry, Harry knew that their friendship was genuine and real. She too had her own guilt in attacking the man they all thought was their enemy. They all felt responsible in some way.

Harry led the elderly witch upstairs as she insisted on seeing him. As both Gryffindors reached the stairs, Draco was already lurking outside of Severus' door, half-peering inside to check upon him. The man was still sitting in the same spot that Harry had last left him. McGonagall looked disapprovingly at Draco, who diverted his gaze to the floor, shamefully. No words were spoken between them, as Harry watched the woman enter Severus' room cautiously, ignoring the younger Slytherin.

Both teenagers watched as she approached him carefully and sat down beside him. Harry could only hope she would explain to him what they had discussed, because Harry surely didn't feel even remotely comfortable explaining that to him. They watched as McGonagall wrapped a reassuring arm around Severus' shoulders, and gently leaned the younger man against her own. He didn't hear a word from Severus, but the sweet gesture made Harry smile.

_There is still hope for you yet, Severus._

* * *

Headmistress McGonagall left Grimmauld Place without a word a short time afterward, leaving Harry and the two Slytherins alone once more. Harry could tell she looked upset as she swept past them, and there was nothing else that he could possibly say to make the situation any better. Draco remained by Severus' door, and watched Severus carefully as he climbed into the bed, huddling amongst the blankets. Hopefully, some sleep will do him some good because he needed that rest. Not just for his battered body, but for his shattered mind.

Harry had a new goal now, and he was more than ready to pursue it with every ounce of willpower he had. Seeing Severus like this strengthened his drive, and he was going to do everything within his power and capabilities to clear him of all charges. The man deserved to be recognised for his war efforts, and aside from Harry, he had the most dangerous role of all. He wanted nothing more than to finally free the man who was bound to the cause for almost twenty years, and to face the true enemy with the knowledge you belong to the other side, took a sheer amount of strength and self-restraint. Harry really did admire him, and he never thought he'd ever feel that way over this man. Suddenly, all other years of being harassed by the man in school now seemed irrelevant. They were petty little things now that Harry had time to ponder it, as opposed to the monumental task he had accepted and followed through until the very end. Even despite all the odds that were against him, he still made it his mission to finish what he had started. Even if that meant continuing to follow the order of a portrait belonging to a dead man who he had no choice but to end on grounds of mercy, and for the greater good.

No. He _was_ going to free him, even if that meant rallying together half the wizarding community to make that happen. Of course, Severus' efforts were still not widely accepted, but even the likes of several people in the DA had come to change their perspective on him.

Harry was never one to purposely abuse his power, in fact, he was repulsed even at the thought. But if he could have a hand in working against the Ministry in the lead up to Voldemort's demise during his fifth year, he was going to do his _damnest_ to use his status to give Severus a proper second chance. Right now, in his current predicament, he had no life. And every day seemed to give him less hope than the last. Just when Harry would finally convince him to have hope, it was crushed in the blink of an eye.

There was no way he was going to let that happen. Harry would never be at peace if he continued to live his life knowing that Severus was losing his so unfairly. It didn't feel right, and Harry would never forgive himself if he stopped trying. He couldn't save Sirius or Remus. He couldn't save Dobby or even Mad-Eye.

But Severus, at least, he had a chance to save.

Harry Potter left Grimmauld Place and made his way to the Lovegood house located in Ottery St. Catchpole in Devon. He didn't want to waste any time, and this visit allowed him to see check up on Luna, along with attempting to diffuse the tension with her father. Last he saw of Xenophilius, he was blackmailed into giving away Harry's position in exchange for Luna's life. It has been months since he was last here with Ron and Hermione, and the very least he could do was owe him some sort of apology for putting him and his daughter at risk.

Disapparating within the familiar Lovegood front gardens filled with sunflowers and daisies, and other plants he couldn't recognise, Harry made his way towards the large rock-like house along the cobblestone pathway to the front door. He raised his hand and knocked lightly several times at the misshapen oak door. He waited for a few minutes, looking around at the surrounding hills, and drawing in a deep breath as a fresh summer breeze washed over him. It felt nice to get out of Grimmauld Place for a while.

Eventually, the door opened slightly to reveal Xenophilius himself, adored in a shimmery turquoise and grey set of robes. He poked his head through the half-opened door, as his steel-blue eyes widened at the sight of Harry Potter standing idly on his porch. Harry watched as the man blinked several times and scanned the gardens and beyond for any potential eavesdroppers. He was still paranoid, much to Harry's anticipation.

The white-haired man dropped his voice to a whisper, looking a little frightened, "Harry Potter! Wh-What are you doing here?"

"Hi Xenophilius – Sorry to drop by like this, but I would like your help with something. Is Luna home?" Harry responded cautiously.

Xenophilius automatically drew his wand and pointed it directly at Harry's chest. Harry himself, did not react. He must have already heard about Death Eaters taking advantage of Polyjuice Potion to further eliminate those who opposed them. The man's pale lips curled to a sneer, taking in every small movement that the Gryffindor made.

"H-How do I know it's you?"

Harry raised his chin, "Ask me a question, then."

He raised his eyebrow, "The last time you were here, what did you seek from me?"

Without missing a beat, Harry answered as calmly as he could, "Ron, Hermione, and I approached you to ask about the Deathly Hallows from the book called Tales of Beedle the Bard. You told us about the Three Brothers."

Xenophilius paused for a moment, looking a little frantic in his decision. Eventually, he softened his gaze but still looked slightly skittish, "You _shouldn't_ be here – "

"- I won't be long. It's okay, no one out there, " Harry tried to reassure him, but he still looked rather panicky.

"It's not _safe_ , Mr. Potter. I know they've been attacking people! My dear Luna -"

"- _Is_ she here?" Harry spoke, a little more persistently. He didn't have time for this.

The man before him stared down at Harry with uncertainty, but in a few moments of disapproval, he quickly motioned Harry inside, " _Hurry_ , inside!"

Harry stepped inside with haste, as the man closed the door behind him. He followed Xenophilius to the cramped sitting room and perched himself on the aqua blue couches as offered.

"Look, I _don't_ want any repeat of last time – "

"I know, and I'm sorry. I don't intend to put you or Luna in further danger. But I wouldn't be here if I didn't need your help, " Harry began to explain.

"They _threw_ me in Azkaban! _Azkaban_! The Death Eaters! You can't know what that's like!" Xenophilius was still fearful, that was certain. He looked even more paranoid than the last time Harry remembered, but he knew he didn't deserve such a fate. He was only trying to get his daughter back.

Harry tensed, "I'm _sorry_. I really am. The Ministry is no longer under Death Eater control. They won't dare do such a thing again."

Xenophilius regarded Harry for a few moments apprehensively, but Harry couldn't quite tell if he was on the verge of shouting or bursting into tears. He wasn't sure what he was going to get. Being here was already more than enough for this man to handle, and he didn't want to overstay his welcome. But if he was going to approach Luna about the campaign, he at least required permission from the editor and publisher of _The Quibbler_ himself.

After what seemed like too long of a silence, Xenophilius arched his head upwards, "Luna, my dear! Your friend Harry is here in our company!"

Not a beat too late, Harry heard light footsteps bounding down the staircase two at a time as Luna appeared and beamed at the sight of Harry. She wore casual light blue jeans, and a bright yellow striped shirt almost in contrast to the sunflowers outside. Her extremely long curly white-blonde hair was pinned to the side and held together by a strange, oversized rainbow butterfly clip, which fluttered occasionally. Her wand, as per her usual habit, was tucked neatly behind her ear.

"Hello, Harry!" She sat down beside Harry and began to twirl her wand within her hands, "It's lovely to see you!"

"Hi, Luna – " Harry smiled. _How is she always this cheery? What's her secret?_ "I'm here to speak with you both."

"Oh? " Luna tilted her head to the side.

"I'll try and made this quick and simple – " Harry began to explain, " – So, I have a proposition to add a special article in _The Quibbler_. "

Xenophilius frowned at Harry's request, "What is this article you seek to publish?"

"I want to publish an article exonerating Severus Snape in his war efforts in working against Voldemort. I don't believe you've picked up _The Daily Prophet_ recently, but Rita Skeeter is having a field day tarnishing his name on basis of lies. I intend to counter that with the _actual_ truth. I want to rally the wizarding community on my side."

"That's a wonderful idea, Harry, " Luna responded softly.

Xenophilius considered the request for a few moments, but his expression was still full of doubt, "Severus Snape? The Death Eater who took over as Headmaster of Hogwarts? But how could he - ?"

"He was working as a spy for Dumbledore. He was on our side the entire time, but he was undercover and fooled everyone. He gave me the memories allowing me to be informed on how to defeat Voldemort in the first place. He worked _against_ him. He is a big reason why Voldemort is dead in the first place."

"But he _killed_ Albus Dumbledore!"

"Dumbledore pre-arranged his death with him."

Xenophilius still didn't look convinced, "He allowed the other Death Eaters to torture the other Hogwarts students, did he not?"

" _No_ – He did everything he could to _prevent_ harm. He still had to remain undercover, thus was unable to take total control over the Death Eaters posing as staff."

"It's true, father, " Luna nodded, "Even when I went to help steal the Sword of Gryffindor from his office with Neville and Ginny, he only punished us by sending us to Hagrid, instead of the Death Eaters. He didn't hurt us at all."

Xenophilius turned to his daughter, "And you are in support of Severus Snape?"

Luna nodded again, "I am. He's not all bad, you see. I feel sorry for him, though. He had to do bad things to keep his cover, but in the end, he was on our side. Rather admirable."

The man before them drew in a sigh, as he paused in consideration, "Very well. I will assist in this endeavor, Mr. Potter. If you can construct an article, I will publish and distribute it across for you. I suppose the first issue since the demise of You-Know-Who might pick up in popularity again."

Harry was relieved, and smiled in return, "That's great! Thank you – I'm _relieved_ to hear that. This is going to help a lot."

Xenophilius gave a small, forced smile, "Yes, yes. I suppose I owe you that much, for helping to rescue my daughter. As for attempting to hand you over – "

Harry shook his head, " – I get it, Xenophilius. You were placed in an impossible situation. It's not your fault." Harry made a move to stand up, as Luna and her father echoed the same, "I must head off."

Luna's father appeared relieved, like a weight was lifted, "I am rather…relieved to hear that. I was worried you would think so little of me."

"No, not at all, sir. We've all had to do things we are not proud of. Trust me, if I could list the things I've had to do, I'd probably fill up the entirety of single issue of _The Quibbler_ , " Harry shrugged sheepishly, as he turned to Luna, "I'll have Hermione help me write something – since she's far more academically sophisticated than I am. You're welcome to drop by Grimmauld Place at any time, Luna."

Luna smiled sweetly, "Thank you, Harry! I will work on adding some things of my own into it, too. Maybe I can talk to Ginny and we can work on our experiences at Hogwarts. Sadly, we won't be able to add Neville's personal experiences, but we can most certainly write in our point of view and vouch for him in that way."

" _Fantastic_ – The more the merrier. Severus is going to need our help, even if it takes the entire DA and remaining Hogwarts faculty."

Xenophilius clasped his hands neatly behind his back, "Well, it seems like you have your hands full, then."

Harry made his way to the front door, with the two Lovegood's trailing behind, "If only you knew the half of it…" Harry couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, "But really, I appreciate your help."

"Of course, Mr. Potter, " Xenophilius bowed his head slightly.

"See you, Harry!" Luna waved simultaneously with her father, as Harry departed from view.

_Well, at least something turned out successful today._

With a new spring in his step, Harry made his way back home to Grimmauld Place to mull over what he planned to write. This is going to take some planning, but he had a really good feeling about this. Considering the positive feedback he received from his article in _The Quibbler_ in regard to Voldemort's return, he was sure to reach the remainder of the wizarding community in a positive way.

He decided he will linger on 'The Chosen One' for a little while longer.

Influence be damned.


	47. Remember to Breathe

* * *

CHAPTER 47: Remember to Breathe

Several days had passed since Harry's visit to the Lovegood's house, and he had been focused on this campaign in order to further strengthen Severus' defense. Harry knew that this was only half the task, and the other was attempting to figure out how on earth they were going to approach this. Since Harry's discussion with Kingsley and McGonagall, he had been tearing through his own thoughts in order to figure out a logical way to handle it. Harry had confided in Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna to further establish this campaign in an attempt to counteract the slandering article by none other than Rita Skeeter. They had a lot to do and gathering the information they needed from people was already tedious. How do you even begin to gather evidence on a man who worked tirelessly under the radar for almost eighteen years – three of those years spent in direct contact with the enemy – and the only person who truly knew his loyalties, was already dead by his hand.

Harry had to mull over every event – every possible scenario – in order to prove that Severus was indeed on their side. It involved thinking back on multiple interactions and realising that actions spoke louder than words. What he did far outweighs his words because, in the eyes of both Voldemort and Dumbledore, even Severus' words could not be trusted. So, in retrospect, it came down to his actions. From performing a counter-curse for the jinx Voldemort-possessed Quirrell decided to place on his broomstick in his first year, from running after the trio into the Shrieking Shack when Sirius was believed to be the murderer of his parents, with a werewolf on the loose. From dedicating time to teach him Occlumency on Dumbledore's orders to relaying a cryptic message with Sirius' life in jeopardy at the Ministry, whilst roaming the Forbidden Forest alone at night in search for Harry upon Umbridge's threats. There was just so much that needed to be said, but Harry needed to word this in a way that will strengthen their case with as much detail as possible. Nothing could be vague, and Harry at least had people to support him throughout these accounts.

Hell, Harry himself was proof of that. If Severus were a true Death Eater, Harry would have been killed by his hand in his First Year. The more Harry thought about such things, the more Severus' true loyalty made sense. To even consider Severus as the real enemy, made Harry feel a little pathetic. All those times he thought Severus wanted him dead, turned out to be the one person who looked out for him the most. His defender. The one who hid in the shadows and worked behind the scenes without anyone but Dumbledore knowing. It was quite amazing to know he did that, all the while, convincing everyone else that he was on the opposite side.

It all made far too much sense now. Harry was blinded by his own hate to see what was truly happening.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna convened together to work out a plan for a verbal attack. Hermione was more than keen to take the reigns on the article because they needed to approach this professionally and not as amateurs. They needed to be clear and concise, and as accurate as possible in order to counter Rita Skeeter's false words. On top of that, they all sent out word to the DA for any assistance they could provide to step up and add their piece in his support for both the article and the likely trial. Every interaction, every word said, would help.

Another issue sprang to mind, as Harry was thinking about what Kingsley mentioned – He cannot be caught by Aurors which could potentially taint his defense. Severus needed to give himself up willingly, which was completely _against_ Harry's own wishes – and even Severus' for that matter - but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He couldn't spend the rest of his life on the run as a fugitive, faking death or not. Because if this ritual didn't work in the end, then they very well will be clearing the charges of a dead man, and Harry was not prepared to go in that direction. He wasn't about to waste Severus' second chance that way and Harry was going to use his own voice to free him once and for all.

Draco was let in on the idea and agreed to help. His word was also important, and being cleared of charges himself, he had the added bonus of being able to confirm his actions as a Death Eater himself. Granted, that was going to give a new perspective on things, but he agreed to mention the Unbreakable Vow in order to save his life – his soul. Unfortunately, Narcissa was not present to confirm, so that was another problem. Though Draco mentioned something about the Ministry being able to detect the Unbreakable Vow with a spell confirming its intention, so perhaps that could be enough. Severus' had the scars from the Vow to prove it.

Whilst Hermione was scribbling away on the parchment recording accounts from the others, Harry tried his best to approach Severus once again. He only checked on him once on the previous day, but Harry was adamant to give him a little more space so he could gradually move away from his shock. So long as either he or Draco were keeping an eye on him, it gave them both a little peace of mind. So that afternoon, Harry made another attempt to talk to him and at least re-explain what Kingsley and McGonagall had discussed with him a few days prior, as he doubted Severus was able to register anything that McGonagall had discussed.

Harry approached Severus' door with caution again, softly knocking several times as he usually did. As predicted, there was no response. Not even growls of frustration, or the occasional ' _Leave me be'_ , or ' _Be gone, Potter_!' – which were both usually fine. In fact, he would rather the man yell in fury than remain painfully quiet as he did. Harry had learned not to overstep boundaries now, especially sharing space with the Potion's Master as he had been for almost two months. It was as difficult for Severus, as it was for Harry in this situation, especially with Draco now in the mix. There was still quite some tension between Draco and the others – and Harry himself, too – but for now, they had to deal with that as best they could with the situation they had been dealt with.

Grimmauld Place was indeed wackier these days, that was for sure.

Pushing the door open slowly, Harry poked his head inside to see Severus sitting on the edge of the bed facing the door, downing one of the pain reliever potions with a horribly tremoring hand. The man's face was still marble-white, with small beads of sweat evident on his forehead. His breaths still crackling rather sickeningly, Harry could hear, as he occasionally drew in several gasped breaths.

"…Severus?" Harry spoke, as he noticed Severus arching his head towards him, but his gaze was still not adjusted to his direction. Well, at least he was more responsive today. Harry paused in his tracks to assess whether the man would yell at him to be there, but Severus said nothing. Taking that as a cue, Harry cautiously made his way to the bed and sat down again beside him. Severus' head followed his movements carefully, but he still dared not look at Harry. It was actually rather unnerving.

 _Now, he can't stand to look at me._ He figured it was likely the vision of Lily that he saw, which was understandable. But still, it made Harry feel slightly guilty for further taunting the man unintentionally.

"So – " Harry spoke calmly, "- Have you had a chance to think about what Professor McGonagall told you the other day?" Harry watched as Severus drew in a shuddering breath, entwining his fingers together in mild anxiety, which was perched on top of his lap. The man's mouth twitched, like he had something to say, but decided to refrain himself. Eventually, he lightly shook his head.

Harry thinned his lips, "We have a plan to clear your name, and we are hopeful it's going to work, but Kingsley advised that we are running out of time – " Harry paused for a few moments, before resuming in a quieter tone, " – In more ways than one."

Severus raised his head but still did not speak.

Harry cleared his throat lightly, " _Please_ , tell me what you think? The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. You _can't_ remain a fugitive, and I know _you_ know that, too. The time is now to take a step to…free you. _Properly_ , this time. I know this isn't the ideal option, but what other way is there? It's not right for you to remain hunted like this. If they catch you somewhere that makes you look suspicious, it won't look good for you. There have been too many close calls already, and next time you _won't_ be as lucky."

Harry paused to observe Severus, who still averted and focused his weary gaze at the ancient-looking cabinet against the wall.

"Are you not going to say anything? Nothing at all?" Harry inquired, with a small sigh, "…Severus, we are doing this _for_ you. We have a good plan, and with _my_ word, I can convince them, " Harry paused again, before allowing himself to smirk a little at his next thought, "Remember in first year when you told me fame isn't everything? Well, that fame – as you so kindly put it - might just set you free."

Harry darted his gaze back to the man beside him, and he swore he heard an ever-so-light snort of amusement from the ill-stricken Slytherin.

_A little humor. Come on, Severus. That was clever, right?_

Proud of his little accomplishment, Harry pointed to Severus' bandaged arm, "Do you mind if I check the wounds?" Severus seemed to suddenly tense up a little and slightly retracted his left arm closer to his chest defensively. Harry could see that his hands were still shaking, but since he moved his arm, he could see some of the blood seeping through. It wasn't too bad, but he definitely needed a bandage change. "…Please? You'll need fresh bandages." After pondering that for a few moments, Severus seemed to relax again, and slowly outstretched his arm in Harry's direction. Pleased by the progress, Harry reached for the new stack of bandages and the small pot of essence of dittany on the bedside table and shifted his position, so he was better facing Severus. The Slytherin however, still refused to look at Harry and turned his head in the opposite direction.

Carefully, Harry began to unravel the bandage, while darting his eyes to the man beside him for any sign of discomfort. He knew Severus didn't like to be poked and prodded – Who ever did? – But he took extra care in making sure Severus would feel comfortable with the Gryffindor tending to him.

As Harry continued, and the silence was a little harder to bear, he began to speak again as he worked on the wound, "We have a plan. A _really_ good one. With Kingsley on our side, we can help you. Once we free you, and this is all dealt with, we'll help you find a…cottage or something in the countryside, in the middle of nowhere. Large windows, fresh air…Or by the sea, maybe? With a greenhouse and you can grow your own potion supplies - " Harry smiled lightly at the thought. _That actually sounds amazing_ , " - How does that sound? I know you probably won't accept financial aid from _me_ , but if we can successfully clear you, then the Ministry owes you _big_ time. Because I don't think spending this time in _my_ terrible company was ever on your bucket list."

Harry finally finished on Severus' wound and released the hold on his wrist. The newly wrapped bandage was careful to cover every inch of the Mark, as well as the wounds, as he knew Severus was having a difficult time even looking at it. The Gryffindor noticed that Severus appeared to fight off a subtle amused smirk at Harry's poor attempt at humor, under his hunched form and curtains of unwashed hair, "Fine. I'll just keep talking to myself, then. Although, I really won't get offended if you tell me to shut up."

Severus lifted his head up and tilted his head slightly in Harry's direction. On exhale, he raised an eyebrow, "…How ever did I tolerate your _insufferable_ defiance for seven years?" His voice was deep and resonate, but less sharp than usual.

Harry's inner voice jumped for joy upon the man's eventual willingness to verbally respond now. He smirked, "No idea, but I really do commend you for that."

Severus sighed wistfully, but still avoided the Gryffindor's gaze, "You seem to be under the false impression that everything will eventuate _without_ fault. You're far too optimistic."

"But things have been nothing _but_ fault. Besides, is it wrong to have a little hope?"

Severus frowned, and looked to the floor, instinctively clasping his pale hand over his Mark, "At times, _yes_. There is still that _minor_ issue of the cancerous curse eating me alive. "

"Then we hope _more_ , " Harry responded with a light shrug, "Hope keeps you positive, sir. We all need that every once in a while, at least. I surely didn't learn that until later."

Severus exhaled, slightly frustratingly, "Easy for you to say, when _you_ are not the one currently hanging by a mortal thread."

Harry sighed, "I get it, really I do. This ritual has taken its toll on you – I never anticipated that to happen. But I suppose, it's not just a test from _within_ the ritual, but what occurs _between_ them. Every action, every thought…influences this. And please don't tell me I'm wrong."

Severus hung his head shamefully, wincing at the dilemma he was facing, "My _mind_ is broken, Harry. Years of fortifying it to protect my mission is now all but in dusty ruins. The walls crumbled, and I no longer have the strength to rebuild them. Because what is the point now?"

"Severus – You are one of the strongest, and bravest, men I know, " Harry reassured, "I never thought I'd _ever_ say those words, but in all but a few months, everything has changed. Even you. Hell, so have I."

Severus appeared to hesitate, furrowing his brow. He opened his mouth to respond but could not gather the right words to say.

Harry continued, " _You_ seem to be under the impression that you are still the same person. Since I found you at the Shrieking Shack…You've changed. You may not think you have, but I've _seen_ it. My friends have seen it. Draco has seen it. Even, Professor McGonagall. _You_ just can't fully admit that you _have_."

Severus seemed to cringe at those words, and Harry could not understand why the man saw change as such a terrible thing, "Perhaps I could never accept that change was ever possible. All those years fighting in Lily's name…I never came to realise that I was also fighting for myself. I slowly began to believe in her cause, and eventually, it was no longer just about Lily – " Severus paused for a few moments, thinking deeply – "It was about you. About Hogwarts. About attempting to cleanse this world from a darkness I assisted to bring forth. I wanted _nothing_ more than to undo all of that damage. Most, regrettably, irreversible."

"And you _still_ believe you were the same man that took the Mark?"

There was another pause, as Severus stopped to mull over his thoughts. There was a mixture of emotions on the man's face, as Harry noticed his inner turmoil. Severus was still clearly having difficulty coming to terms with that. Eventually, he shook his head and spoke softly, "I used to think I was, however - " Finally, he looked at Harry. Really looked, this time. After a few days avoiding such a feat, and although Severus flinched slightly at the emerald eyes staring back at him, he drew in a deep breath. The corner of Severus' mouth twitched into a subtle smile, " - You helped me to realise that I am not the same person that I was back then. "

Harry exchanged a warmer smile in return, "I'm _really_ glad to hear that, sir. Anyone has the capacity to change if they choose to. And you chose. From the moment my mother's life was in danger, you chose. You tried to save them, and _we'd_ never have had the opportunity to go into hiding if it weren't for you."

"I – " A breath got caught in Severus' throat, but instead he began to cough several times. The man hastily reached for the tissues at his bedside, clasping it over his mouth. Harry could see more blood being splattered across the tissue, as Severus took a few moments to regain his breath and growled in frustration. As the man closed his eyes to re-compose himself, Harry placed his hand on Severus' upper back in reassurance and comfort feeling less awkward now in doing so. Even Severus didn't seem to mind that so much, now. Once he felt able to continue, the Slytherin tilted his head in Harry's direction, "And you chose _not_ to become your father."

Harry nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah, I suppose I did. I could never even _think_ about tormenting someone for fun at the same age. It just shows me what those repercussions can be, and I'd never want to damage another person in the way they did to you. I'm not like that, and never will be."

Severus seemed to lower his head, noticeably grateful for that remark.

"So – Are you willing for us to go ahead with this plan? I'm going to approach the Council myself. Trust me – the Ministry isn't done with me yet, " Harry spoke in a firm resolve, enforcing his willingness to keep going, "I will make a deal with them, and I'm going to do _everything_ I can to keep you out of Azkaban."

Severus finished mopping up the blood on the corner of his mouth, and the small stream from his nose. He nodded wearily, "I supposed that is the wisest decision, so long as you approach this _professionally_ , and not to twist the knife that is already in my back."

"I know. Be thankful we have Kingsley as our Minister, and the fact that he still has a lot of respect for you."

Severus didn't respond to that comment and paused as he shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the bed and it was evident as to how exhausted and lethargic the man looked. He placed his hands back into his lap, and regarded Harry with such odd curiosity, "Why… _Why_ do you care so much what happens to me? You shouldn't, you know. You should _not_ be wasting your energy on a blithering, _miserable_ fool such as myself."

Harry felt slightly shocked by the question, "Because I have _empathy_ , Severus. You spent so much of your life protecting me, and protecting others, and yet no one was there for you when you needed people the most because you had to shut everyone out ' _for the greater good'_. I think we've both had enough darkness in our lives, don't you think?"

Severus glanced dully at Harry, still appearing unconvinced, "Harry – "

" _Listen_ – I know you struggle to believe that, even you, deserve to be happy. I thought the same too, trust me. I know what that feels like. Do you think I'm joking? I'm not going to give you hope, then to purposely rip it away from you. Even now, you still believe that this is all one big cosmic prank because you think you are undeserving of those things. _No_ , Severus. You obviously refuse to believe that my offer is genuine. I will never, _ever_ , give you cruel hope."

Severus' dark eyes seemed to gloss over, as he remained speechless within his inner conflict. There was a pause as he seemed to hang his head, remorsefully. His low, croaky voice spoke gently this time, "You are indeed, the first to say such a thing. However, I do _not_ have the energy to argue with that."

" _Good_ , because it's not worth arguing about, " Harry rose from the bed, and turned back to Severus, "Now…Can I trust you alone for some time? Draco will be here, but -"

Severus looked upon the Mark buried underneath the bandages on his arm, "- I will not attempt to hurt myself again if that's what you were implying. I-I do not know what came over me - "

"- I know. We both have marks we can't get rid of."

Severus looked back up at Harry, with a look of realisation, "Indeed."

Feeling pleased by that, Harry released a sigh of relief, " - Just get some rest, okay?"

The Gryffindor turned and made his way towards the door, shutting it gently behind him. Well, at least that conversation went well. He only expected not to receive any further responses, but now knowing that he was – _almost_ – back to himself, Harry could now bound ahead with his grand plan. If they approached this right, then Severus can truly be freed. Then all they had to think about, was the third and final phase of the ritual. If Severus can continue knowing that his name was cleared, perhaps that was enough of an incentive for him to remain positive and persistent in destroying this illness once and for all. If they can make this work, then Severus' life will change drastically.

And Harry wasn't kidding about the offer to help him purchase a place. Since he had no intentions of repairing the ruins of his old home in Spinners End, then he very well deserved somewhere away from everything and everyone. Now Harry at least understood the man's need to be alone. Severus had enough of dealing with such hostility within his life.

And he knew being stuck with the Chosen One himself, was not apart of his retirement plan.

* * *

The following day, Harry contacted Kingsley to organise an urgent meeting with him in his office. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny opted to tag along for the support – and their need for Hermione's well-rehearsed monologs – which had him feel slightly more at ease. Harry wasn't particularly nervous, but he really hated the thought of dealing with the Ministry again. Although now, the Ministry was not corrupted as it had been during Voldemort's reign of power and authority, so Harry felt newfound confidence in his ability to tackle them again. Oh, Harry already had a few tricks up his sleeve, and he was going to demand that Severus be freed by any means necessary. They just needed to take that first step.

Harry and his friends made the journey to London early in the afternoon and took the visitors' entrance via the red phone box off a derelict side street away from the busy public Muggle spaces. Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged uneasy glances, as the last time they were here, they were on a quest to steal the Horcrux Locket from the disgustingly pink-clad neck of Umbridge. Since then, Harry really didn't plan on stepping foot back into the Ministry after their near-capture, and it was still rather strange venturing back in there now. But a lot has changed since the demise of Voldemort, and he trusted Kingsley Shacklebolt to reform the Ministry in a better light.

And that, so far, he did.

After receiving their silver visitors' badges, the four of them entered the main Atrium, and already they could see a change which caught them all by a welcoming surprise. The last time they stepped foot in the Grand Atrium, it was corrupted by controlled by followers of Voldemort, including Imperialised and brain-washed politicians and Aurors. The change was drastic and turned the Ministry completely against the will of the wizarding world. It was a frightening time, to know that the government would fail its people in a time when a dark power was rising so fiercely. The Ministry itself was grasped by such a power, transforming it into a vessel for maximum control over the wizarding – and Muggle – world. From the dark and dreary atmosphere, they last remembered, they breathed a welcome sigh of relief to find how visually brighter the atmosphere now displayed. The dark-tiled walls, now a few shades lighter and more uplifting, to the orbs of light dancing overhead, illuminating the shimmering Atrium below. The familiar telegrams spun overhead in their attempt to deliver their messages, to the occasional owl that swept by.

The last time Harry stepped foot here many months ago, the corrupted Ministry erected a disgusting monument in a power-trip, displaying wizards as superior beings, with the Muggles at their feet. The previous Fountain of Magical Brethren of blackened stone were displayed with a witch and wizard sitting on thrones, made from the contorted figures of Muggle men, women, and children. It was a repulsing sight, and even if Harry could not control that, he felt ashamed to have set his eyes upon the monstrous thing. But now, since Kingsley's elect as the new Minister, Harry and his friends no longer had to look at it.

In its place, was another shimmering golden monument in its place, set upon the magnificent large fountain within its center. Kneeling in a circle, were golden statues of magical and Muggle folk of all nationalities, and ages. The witches and wizards, adorned in golden robes, outstretched their wands to the center, whilst the Muggles extended a fist inward in unity. In the center, was a golden Phoenix, reminding Harry of the one they used for the Hogwarts Memorial a month ago. Its wings, outstretched magnificently, as the waters of the fountain danced around them. No longer did the plaque read ' _Magic is Might'_. Instead, it read:

_'In Strength, we are One'_

Neither one of the four could usher a word, but instead, they exchanged the same pleased grin as they stood together admiring the new display.

"Kingsley has really outdone himself, " Ron said, still in awe.

Hermione beamed, "This is _fantastic_. I'm so glad he removed that other ghastly thing."

Despite a few gasps upon their appearances, Harry and his friends made their way to the main desk, along the dark, polished-wooden floors through the crowds of Ministry officials and visitors going about their business. Harry did his best to ignore the stares and whispers as he did so. Perhaps they were so shocked to find him back at the Ministry, after the years of corruption against his name. Well, at least Harry didn't have to waltz back in there with Polyjuice Potion this time. Harry and his friends had their wands checked-in and registered at the security desk, and upon its conclusion, they set off for the lifts to make their way to the Minister's office on Level One.

Hearing the familiar chimes upon their descent, Harry and company stepped out of the rickety lift and made their way down the almost empty corridor leading towards a large circular area connecting to several doors. The main door ahead was emblazoned with a large golden plaque reading 'Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt'. A small desk beside the large mahogany door was stationed with a single middle-aged witch with emerald green robes and hazel-colored eyes underneath a thick mane of curly blonde hair. The woman was scribbling away on parchment and did not look up upon their arrival.

The four of them walked up to the desk, as Harry lightly cleared his throat, "We have an appointment with the Minister."

The witch did not look up, "…Name?"

"Err…Harry Potter."

Suddenly the witch dropped her quill, leaving an unfortunate black ink blob on the edge of the parchment. She raised her eyebrow at Harry, as she clasped her hands in front of her studying the teenager before her. Harry, uncertain if she was convinced, ran his hand over his forehead, brushing away his own unkempt hair to reveal the familiar lightning-shaped scar. The woman nodded, "One moment please, Mr. Potter." The witch tapped her wand on a small piece of parchment, as it hovered above the table, and folded itself like an origami paper plane, and watched as it floated to the Minister's door and disappeared in a flurry of blue sparks. Harry and his friends waited a little awkwardly, not knowing if they should be finding a seat at the waiting area, but thankfully, they didn't wait long until an identical piece of parchment appeared in front of the receptionist. Harry watched as she opened the parchment, nodding to herself, "You may proceed ahead."

Ushering a thank you to the witch, Harry turned to the door and opened it gently to reveal a large, welcoming office where a large desk was stationed in front of them, illuminated by large, enchanted arch windows. The walls were painted a soft white, accentuated by golden, ornate cornices at each corner of the rectangular room. Harry looked down to see varnished mahogany floorboards underneath a single large turquoise and sea-green rug. The three large arch windows were charmed to reflect the city of London, which seemed to mess with Harry's mind, because it gave the illusion that the Ministry rose above ground level, matching the other tall buildings around it. Harry had to blink several times to regain his bearings, as he very well knew that they were nine floors below ground level.

Kingsley Shacklebolt stood from his desk upon their arrival, and welcomed the newcomers with a warm smile, as he walked around his matching mahogany desk, he indicated to the grey chaise lounges by the fireplace on the left side of the large room. The black-tiled fireplace was already crackling away. As Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny sat down, Kingsley pointed his wand to the door, adding a Silencing Charm, and then proceeded to join them at the large armchair.

"Welcome – " Kingsley respectfully nodded at the teenagers seated before him, " – I gather you are here to discuss the situation in regard to Severus Snape?"

Harry nodded, "That's right. McGonagall and I have discussed the options with him, and we'd like to go ahead with it. Though, I would like to request to see the Council myself and propose an offer directly. I'd much prefer they hear it from me."

"And what is this offer, you have decided upon?"

Without missing a beat, Harry continued, "For continued services to the Order, _and_ the Ministry, in exchange for _no_ Azkaban sentence."

Kingsley paused to ponder the request, nodding in agreement, "Alright. The Council might still demand some sort of discipline effectively in terms of Albus' death, just so you are aware. And he remains compliant with that? Keeping in mind the Council will need to hear this request directly from him as well."

"Yeah, of course. I just don't want him treated like a criminal."

The Minister clasped his hands, twiddling his thumbs, "I will see to it that he is not. I may be Minister, but I do not have _complete_ power over the final verdict. Most of that power, lies with the Council, specifically the Chief Warlock."

"We have started to put together a defense for him, complete with witness accounts during Professor Snape's interaction with others, specifically ranging from Voldemort's resurrection in 1995 to the demise of Voldemort, and even up until now, " Hermione interjected, "There is a lot to go through."

Kingsley nodded in agreement, "Good – He will need as many statements in his support as he can. I know we are treading a fine line since most of his war efforts were spent within the shadows, but if there are ways you can shed light on some of his acts, even duties as a Professor, then maybe, we will have enough. "

"So, Kingsley, are we able to talk to the Council now? Can you arrange a meeting for us?" Ginny asked, earnestly.

The Minister glanced over at Ginny, "Yes if you feel ready to confront them, I can send a message right away. I will deem this an urgent matter; therefore, they will arrive in much haste. Perks of being the new Minister…" Kingsley flashed a friendly smirk at the four teenagers, as he rose from his chair and made his way towards his desk.

Harry nodded, "That sounds great. The sooner this is addressed, the better." Harry watched as Kingsley scribbled within the parchment on his desk using a peacock feather quill and tapped the parchment with his wand causing it to duplicate and fold itself into a neat envelope. He flourished his wand again, and the parchment letters disappeared in mid-air. Once done, he made his way back to the chair he previously occupied, "I've given them ten minutes. Besides the Chief Warlock, there are several others that must be present – " He turned to Ron and Ginny, " – Percy included."

Ron groaned, "As if his head isn't inflated enough, and you go ahead and give him the position of _Assistant_ to the Minister. _Blimey_. I still can't believe you did that."

Kingsley grinned, "After his very vocal resignation against Pius Thicknesse, I decided to reinstate his position – _with_ promotion – under _my_ title. So far, he has been extremely diligent and hard-working. He has turned himself around well. I must ask – Has Minerva sent out the latest Hogwarts letters? I realise they are a little late."

Hermione shook her head, "No, we've not received anything yet."

"Have you lot considered your seventh year?" There were nods from everyone except Ron. Kingsley looked back at Ron, "Still keen on the Auror training, Mr. Weasley?"

Ron nodded, "Oh, yeah. I haven't changed my mind. But I don't plan on going back to Hogwarts. Personally, I don't see the point." Hermione opened her mouth to protest but quickly closed it.

"Understandable – Keep an eye out for an owl detailing the new training dates, " He turned to the others, "And you are all very keen on returning to Hogwarts? That is welcoming to hear. Miss Granger, do you have any desire to work within the Ministry? We can definitely use your intellect, and if you do agree, I am more than happy to find a position suited for you."

Hermione's eyes widened, as she became slightly speechless, "Oh! That-That sounds wonderful, sir. I still want to complete my NEWTS this year, but yes…I'd be _honored_ , sir."

Kingsley beamed, "I am most pleased to hear that! Of course, no rush – "

Suddenly, the fireplace roared green, as Kingsley stood up, followed by Harry and his friends. Harry began to feel slightly nervous, as he was worried about how this conversation was going to go. The fireplace flashed again, and four robed figures piled their way inside the office in single file – a few in which Harry recognised. Elphias Doge, being one of them and an elderly woman who he had sworn he'd seen at Hogwarts overseeing the OWL and NEWT exams. Percy himself trailing behind with a large notebook and quill clasped in his hands, nodding his head in greeting. Respectfully, the Minister bowed his head in acknowledgment.

Kingsley clasped his hands together, "Thank you for meeting with me here on such short notice. We have something of great importance to discuss – " Kingsley turned to Harry and his friends, and gestured with his hand to introduce his colleagues, " – Since undergoing the reformation of the Ministry, there have been a few staff changes under my direction. Aside from Percival here of course, I'd like to introduce my new Undersecretary to the Minister, Griselda Marchbanks. She was previously Governor of the Wizarding Examiners Authority, who initially resigned in 1995 along with multiple others when Dolores Umbridge was appointed, but now I have reinstated her back into the Ministry. Griselda, here, is also a part of the Wizengamot."

The elderly witch Griselda greeted Harry with a smile, and reached out to shake his hand, "Ah, Mr. Potter! What an honour to have you here!"

Harry humbly, returned the gesture, "Oh, uh, thank you."

Kingsley gestured to Elphias, "Elphias Doge, whom you are already aware from within the Order, is now promoted to Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot."

Harry gave a small smile, as not to be rude, "Nice to see you again, sir."

Elphias bowed his head, "Likewise, Mr. Potter." Again, hands were shaken. Though Elphias seemed to hold onto that grasp a little too firmly.

Kingsley turned to the final official, "And our Head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Gawain Robards."

This man stuck his hands in his pockets and simply nodded to Harry and his friends in recognition, "The Boy Who Lived. I must say, impressive work. Shame not to have you join the Auror Office, but understandable -" The younger man turned to Ron, "- Ronald Weasley, I presume? Can't mistaken a Weasley! The Minister here has told me much about your interest in the Auror program, plus a good word of encouragement from Percy himself, here. Marvelous!"

"Thanks, sir," Ron said, a little awkwardly with the sudden attention, and exchanged shocked glances with his brother, who appeared to be slightly embarrassed by the gesture of good-will.

Kingsley clasped his hands again, redirecting his attention to the slightly more crowded room, "All pleasantries aside, Mr. Harry Potter here has a proposition. Let's all take a seat."

There was mild shuffling around the room, where Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione sat on the larger sofa, meanwhile, Kingsley had transfigured an identical sofa parallel for the others to sit. The Minister himself sat on the far end in the middle on the single armchair, gaining view on all of his occupants. As soon as Kingsley turned to face Harry, all other eyes shifted to him, and suddenly Harry felt completely out of his league as his stomach felt like it dropped to the floor.

_Now, Harry, don't bloody mess this up._

Harry drew in a deep breath, hoping his face didn't project the nervousness he felt and turned to face Elphias directly, "I am here to discuss the fate of Severus Snape, with the intentions of clearing him of all charges. But I also have a proposition to make, which will benefit the Ministry _and_ the Order of the Phoenix."

Elphias leaned forward, sneering slightly upon the mention of his name, "Severus? And you, Harry Potter, are aware of his location?"

Harry simply raised his chin, "Possibly. I want to propose a defense to clear him, _without_ capture, in exchange for his services to the Order, and the Ministry themselves, to aid us in the hunt and capture of the Death Eater fugitives, _and_ the remaining hostages."

Gawain shook his head, and seemed to chuckle mockingly at the request, "Mr. Potter, Severus Snape is a Death Eater as per the Mark branded onto his skin, therefore he must be judged fairly as with the other Death Eaters. He is required to answer for the death of Albus Dumbledore, as with the other crimes within the Second War. He shall receive no special treatment."

"Not even on word from the one who defeated Voldemort? He was a spy _for_ Dumbledore – _not_ against, " Harry responded, defensively, "He already confirmed that during the trial against Igor Karkaroff in the First War. I _know_ because I saw that memory."

Gawain raised his eyebrow, "And, would you be willing to prove Albus' grand plan before the Council?"

"Only my word – "

"Your word, Mr. Potter, is not sufficient enough. Chosen One, or not."

"The only proof I have are my memories, _and_ Severus', on the night Dumbledore asked him to kill him. It was all planned, sir. Dumbledore wasn't going to leave physical evidence laying around to compromise his position."

Griselda raised her hand, interruptedly, "Mr. Potter, you must understand that we cannot allow memories as viable evidence due to their nature of being tampered with."

Harry turned to the elderly woman, "I _am_ aware of that, but Severus did what he was _instructed_ to. I am able to rally up people in his defense if you need it. But right now, Severus is the _reason_ you currently have fugitive Death Eaters sitting in Azkaban, and innocent lives have been rescued because of him. Severus is the reason I'm still alive, and I would have died seven years ago if it weren't for him. I _won't_ allow him to be treated like a criminal."

"I was one of the captives at the Tintern Quarry, and the rescue was orchestrated _by_ him, " Ginny added, "He risked his life for us. Ask the other people he rescued that night, and they will support it, too."

Elphias sighed, "Severus is a complicated case, without a doubt. He was always secretive, especially within the Order - We had very little interaction. However, due to his war efforts – good or bad – his _crimes_ cannot go unjudged."

Harry clenched his jaw, "You won't even _consider_ my offer? He is still in service to the Ministry _and_ the Order, despite the target on his back. He is still helping you a lot!"

"We will consider it, Mr. Potter, but you must consider this from our point of view – " The Chief Warlock turned warily to the Minister, "What are your thoughts, Kingsley? Either way, Severus _must_ be tried. Had he not been branded with the Dark Mark; we would have approached this less harshly. Whether he is released on cleared charges, is up to the entirety of the Wizengamot, and the Council."

Kingsley clasped the armrests beside him, "I believe, due to the nature of Severus' case, that it will be a fair assessment if we can consider his plea, and those wishing to stand in his defense. We already do have evidence of Severus' defection in the First War from Albus himself, so that must also be taken into consideration. Furthermore, I believe that he should _not_ be tried as a Death Eater and if anyone has the right to support his plea, then it will be the Chosen One."

Harry smiled at Kingsley, grateful for his support, "Thank you, Kingsley, " He turned towards the others again, waiting for their response.

Gawain cleared his throat lightly, "I must also add, that – if we decide for this to go to trial – Severus Snape must be detained in its duration."

"No! I _can't_ let that happen. He – " Harry shook his head and sighed. _Ugh, Severus is going to hang me for this,_ " – He was severely injured by Voldemort on the final night of the Battle of Hogwarts, and he almost lost his life. That night he gave me _crucial_ memories that allowed me to defeat Voldemort. I _cannot_ allow you to throw that man in Azkaban. No way!"

Griselda asked, "Is he still fit for trial?"

Harry nodded, "For now."

Kingsley added, "If Severus attends the trial willingly, then perhaps we can avoid detaining him upon medical grounds. That is a fair assessment, is it not, Elphias?"

The older man nodded, "Yes, yes. We shall see. Will he require a St. Mungo's stay?"

Kingsley continued, "As a member of the Order of the Phoenix, I can confirm that Madam Poppy Pomfrey – The Head Healer at Hogwarts – has treated Severus Snape in lieu of his role as a spy amongst the Death Eaters. She is privy to his complete medical history, which has remained confidential."

"I see. Has she been approached in light of this situation?"

"Not yet. If you do approve, I can organise that meeting with the Headmistress at Hogwarts to get into contact with her and provide medical clearance to support the plea."

Elphias nodded, "Very well. If you can gain medical clearance for him, then perhaps, he may stand a chance, " He turned back to Harry, "Mr. Potter, any witness who chooses to stand his defense, _must_ be subjected to Veritaserum. Including yourself. If your case is viable, and you can sway the majority of the Wizengamot, then perhaps it may work in his favor. Otherwise, be aware that _everything_ will be under scrutiny. Is that understood?"

"Yes. Well, I sure hope you have plenty of that, " Harry spoke, confidently.

Griselda shifted in her seat, "Since you choose not to disclose the whereabouts of Mr. Snape, then I will send an owl to _you_ , detailing the time and date of the hearing, " The elderly woman slowly rose from her seat, as Harry heard a few of her aged bones clicking uncomfortably. She turned to the Minister, "In light of Severus' supposed condition, perhaps we can escalate the trial the sooner the Healer has made her assessment."

Kingsley stood up, as everyone else followed suit, "We will get onto that right away, Griselda."

One by one, Griselda, Elphias, and Gawain made their exit, leaving Percy and Kingsley behind. Harry felt an onslaught of mixed emotions, as he hoped above all else, that he had handled it the best that he could. He was worried that anything he would say, would be used against him, further jeopardising Severus' plea for freedom. Harry was worried – that was no lie. It was intimidating enough to confront the Chief Warlock, as opposed to the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister and the Head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement. How on earth was he going to face fifty Wizengamot members, along with other members of the Council, and whoever else would be present. Harry alone was nervous enough when he himself faced the Council upon the planned Dementor attack in Little Whinging by Umbridge. But at least during his own trial, he had Dumbledore in his corner. Harry was no Dumbledore – Would the Council be willing to hear the word of the Chosen One?

Every minute that ticked by, caused Harry further doubt within his mind. He only hoped this was the right way to go. Hell, what was even right anymore? It was all unnerving territory. Harry hated dealing with all the political nonsense, though he did still have a shred of confidence for the Ministry under Kingley's reform. Yet still, he didn't like this situation one bit.

"It'll work out, Harry, " Kingsley said, snapping Harry out of his concerned reverie.

Harry blinked several times, as he looked slightly defeated at Kingsley, "I hope so. I didn't screw that up, did I?"

The Minister shook his head, "Not at all. They heard your plea, _and_ your proposal, so now the next step is to wait for the trial to commence. I will get into contact with Minerva and Poppy, meanwhile, it will be wise to gather anyone that will help his cause. If the Council agrees to release him freely back into the public, he will require support _from_ the public."

Hermione looked concerned, "How long do you think the trial would go for?"

"I cannot give you a direct answer. A trial can last from a few hours, to several days."

"Well, we best not let it run for days, because Snape would end up cursing the lot of us or slip us some Draught of Living Death in our morning coffees. Or his own, who knows?" Ron stated as Ginny snorted in amusement.

Harry couldn't help but agree, "He's not happy about this, but he'd rather not spend whatever time he left, as a fugitive. He was more than happy to flee, but honestly, what life is that?"

"I agree, fleeing will do him no favors, especially not in the state he is in - " Kingsley raised his chin in concern, " - How is he faring?"

Harry sighed, "Not good. We need to do this _now_ , before Severus is too ill to even communicate. We've had too many close calls already."

"I see, " Kingsley slowly began to edge his way back to his desk, "I'm afraid I must end this meeting here. I will contact Minerva right away and have her organise Poppy. Severus will not be happy with this, but he needs to deal with it if we have any hope of a successful outcome. Please relay that to him, Harry."

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I will." _That is not going to be a great conversation._

Once they had wrapped up their tedious meeting with Ministry officials, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny began the journey back to Grimmauld Place, discussing the situation in a heated debate. They had a lot to do, and think about, and it will take all of their effort to see this through until the end.

Suddenly Harry had the thought that maybe, it was finally time to confront the portrait of Albus Dumbledore after all.


	48. Eighteen

* * *

**NOTES:** Just a little heads up – at the beginning of this chapter I've mentioned the scene when Severus was attacked and cast away as Headmaster. From the start of this fic, I did mention that there would be times I've blended both book and film. In that particular scene, I do like the film version, but I have added Flitwick and Sprout in that scene as per the book. It won't really change much, plot-wise, but there is a reason I made that decision which you'll find out in a later chapter.

This is a super big chapter – Hope you guys enjoy this one!

(Also, mini-side note – I usually enjoy listening to Life is Strange 1 + 2 soundtracks as ambient tracks while I write (esp number 2! 'Into the Woods'), which gives me a good headcanon theme song for Harry/Severus and helps me set the tone for their scenes)

* * *

CHAPTER 48: Eighteen

Harry was plagued by nightmares again that night, and he was absolutely annoyed by it.

This was seemed vastly similar to his gruesome, blood-drenched one not so long ago, but this time, everyone in his life began to disappear before his eyes. One by one, Harry would approach them, only for them to fade off into ashes within a breeze which carried them away. The light around him began to dim further and further, until he was sitting in a black, dark void. He tried to scream, but no one could hear him. His own scream startled him awake, as he lay in bed covered in sweat, panting in his bid to compose himself. Once he realised what he saw, he groaned to himself as he rose from his bed and made his way to the bathroom to clean up.

Tired and exhausted, whilst also combating a horrible headache, Harry made his way down to the kitchen for a beverage to calm his nerves. He realised it was likely past midnight, but he really hated the idea of attempting to sleep again. As he wandered down to the second floor, he saw Draco peering at a gap in the door within Severus' bedroom. Draco was still in his grey silk pyjamas but turned to Harry upon his arrival. Curling his lip, Draco stepped away from the door to approach Harry.

"What happened?" Harry asked, lowering his voice close to barely a whisper.

Draco crinkled his brow in worry, "I heard something, and I went to check. I thought I heard, well…Just, _never_ mind. Forget I said anything."

"You sure it came from his room?"

"I _know_ what I heard - " Draco sighed, and ushered silently, " - Let's go downstairs. I'd rather not talk here."

Without further protests, Harry followed Draco down the next flight of stairs to the first floor sitting room, as Harry started up the fireplace, illuminating the room with a warm glow. Draco sat on the chair that Severus usually occupied, while Harry wandered to his usual. He rather missed sitting in here with the older Slytherin mulling over strange conversations with hot tea – now it seems as the man barely had enough energy to leave his bedroom these days. Draco sat on the chair, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor in the same fashion Severus had done in the previous day. Harry sat silently, as he watched the Slytherin attempt to form words of his own.

Draco took a quick sullen glance at Harry, "You know, I never realised he was that… _messed_ up. He was so good at hiding it, that no one ever knew what was really happening inside that head of his. I doubt my father had any idea."

"No one knew. I don't think Dumbledore ever knew the extent of his…pain."

Draco curled his lip, disappointingly, "I guess that's what happens when you bottle up your feelings too bloody long, like he did. Severus was an Occlumens mastermind and practiced it for years. _And_ to Voldemort's face! He outsmarted that disgusting, snake-faced _abomination_."

"Did _you_ ever suspect anything?"

"Not a damn thing – " Draco shook his head, appearing mad with himself, "- I mean, he never wanted to _actively_ participate in Death Eater raids, or anything that involved specifically killing a target. I could sense his reluctance, but he usually tried to give Voldemort some excuse to side-step it. When we saw Professor Burbage killed right in front of us, I saw how hurt Severus was. I could tell. I didn't really overthink it at the time though, but now knowing the truth, you kinda see things differently, you know?"

Harry nodded in agreement, as he began to fumble with the hem of his shirt, "Yeah, I get that. I saw him get attacked by McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout, but he _only_ ever used defensive spells. I saw him deflect their attacks at the Carrows to render them useless before he left, but like you, I didn't think much of it at the time. He had many opportunities to kill me, and never did. I was just too stupid to think otherwise."

"Stupid is an understatement."

"Gee thanks, Malfoy."

Draco smirked, "Anytime, " He leaned back in his chair, and crossed his legs casually, "So, I suppose you still want my word with this bloody trial?"

"Well, you're not _doing_ this for me, Malfoy, but for your Godfather, " Harry reminded him, "He'll need _your_ help, too, not just mine. I can't do it by myself."

Draco bit his lip, looking rather uneasy with the idea, "I really _don't_ want to be facing the Ministry again."

"I know, but again, this is for Severus' sake. He's going to need all the help he can get. And you are the only other Death Eater who can confirm what he did in meetings."

"I'm _not_ a Death Eater!" Draco huffed, as suddenly bolted upright in his seat.

"I-I know, you have the Mark…you _know_ what I mean – " Harry frowned, not intending any offense.

" _Hmpf_ , to think you _loathed_ him for years, and now suddenly, you want to help him. You're a strange one, Potter."

Harry shrugged, not at all bothered by his remark, "The man saved my life and helped me defeat Voldemort. I think that warrants a second chance, by far. "

The Slytherin leaned back further within his chair, drumming on the armrests with his hands as he looked despondently towards Harry, "So – any master plan regarding the whereabouts of the captives? We're all like _pathetic_ sitting ducks. What's the hold-up?"

"We've been narrowing down locations, but no luck. The Death Eaters seemed to be laying low. What we _do_ know, is that they are testing this toxic gas, and we have no idea what their intentions are with it. I mean, where could they possibly plan to release it? Hogsmeade has been under lockdown since the last attack, so they'll be ready for it again, " Harry sighed, running a hand through his messy dark hair, frustrated with lack of information.

"I have been venturing out there myself, keeping myself concealed, but I haven't found anything newsworthy. It's so barren out there because no one's bloody _around_ anymore."

"You must have _some_ inkling, Malfoy? You spent so much time around them – surely you can make some sort of guess? If you were still with them, what would _you_ do?"

Draco glanced sourly at Harry, "I don't _know_ , Potter! I didn't exactly have much of an input."

"Come on, _think_. If you could unleash a toxic gas, where would you plant it?"

There was a pause between the two, as Draco averted his gaze in thought. Harry watched as Draco seemed to wrestle with the idea, until a look of disgust crossed his pale features, "Well…Hogwarts."

The color seemed to drain from Harry's face. _Of course! That made perfect sense! …Vengeance. They wanted vengeance._

They failed at taking over the castle fortress, so now they wanted revenge. The last hurrah. Once they were done with their scare tactics amongst the wizarding community, it'll make sense to attack one of the safest establishments in Britain. The thought of that sent shockwaves through Harry.

Harry swallowed the bubble rising within his throat. He felt sick, "Of _course_. Where else would they aim for? The new school year will be starting in a month and a half. This is… _Bloody_ hell!"

"Look, I'm _not_ certain, but it's possible. The Death Eaters are sick and twisted, and they will likely attempt one last act of tearing it down. What would be more satisfying to them than to wipe out a school full of students and teachers? At this point, they don't even _care_ about blood status anymore. They _will_ kill anyone who opposes them."

Harry's heart began to beat faster, "We have a lot of work yet to do, and we are running out of time – " He rose from his chair, now clearly disturbed and uncomfortable with the new revelation. " – I'm going back upstairs, because I lose it completely."

Draco snorted lightly, "Yeah, well, do it quietly, Potter. Severus, I can deal with. _You're_ on your bloody own."

Harry rolled his eyes, as he departed back to his room, mulling over his conversation with Draco. Hogwarts. It was scary to think that it was a possibility, and he couldn't believe he didn't think of it before. Of course. It made perfect sense. Where else would they attack next? They have, so far, hit most of the popular wizarding communities as a part of their terror tactics. It didn't leave many other places. Apart from Hogwarts, London may be an option. But why attack a large city? Harry realised they wanted to display their show of power, but it still didn't make sense for a small group of Death Eater fugitives to attack a big Muggle city. It seemed like a useless mission. Hogwarts, at least, made sense.

And if they were brewing their toxic concoction for the new school year, then they were racing against the clock in more ways than one. They knew they were being hunted, so taking out a significant part of the wizarding population seems like their most logical endgame.

And that scared Harry half to death.

* * *

Later that morning, Harry made the decision to go to Hogwarts himself, in his not-so-exciting task of paying portrait Dumbledore a visit. He was dreading this immensely, and he now wished Severus were with him to confront him together since he could really do with the infamous snark and no-nonsense approach. After a restless night, and everything else on his mind, he was clearly not in a good mood to be facing Dumbledore's mental gymnastics that day.

Harry left Draco with Severus, who had quite an ill morning as some of his strongest anti-nausea potions were losing potency and were not working as effectively as they used to. According to Draco, Severus had been throwing up all morning and struggled to keep even fluids down. Occasionally, he would excrete blood amongst it, which further alarmed them both. Harry felt worried to leave them, but he made the decision to give Draco one of the spare DA coins in case of an emergency and he could signal him. Otherwise, Draco was on caregiver duty that morning.

Harry made his journey to Hogwarts and made a quick stop to the empty classroom to check up on the potion brewing for the final stage of the _Anathema_ _Excerptum_ ritual. The final potion was close to completion, as it had been brewing continuously for just over two months now. The potion itself looked murky and grey and seemed to appear between a liquid and a gas. He could see what looked like a glittery sheen within its darkened surface, which was definitely the powdered unicorn horn and silver occamy shell swirled within it. The scent itself wasn't putrid – _thankfully_ , yet – and reminded Harry of a strong musk smell, with traces of lavender and sharp metal. Hermione had charmed the cauldron to self-stir, and since Harry didn't find anything else out of ordinary, he made his way towards the Headmistress' office for his next tedious task.

He wasn't sure if McGonagall was within her office, and he probably should have sent a Patronus beforehand, but he really wasn't planning on staying for too long. As Harry ventured down the familiar eerily empty corridors, he approached the golden statue of a griffin leading up to the Headmasters' office. Ushering the office password, he ascended the stone staircase and entered through the door into the office he had not seen since the day Voldemort was defeated almost three months prior. It felt strange being there again, and as it appeared, nothing else had changed. Every object, every piece of furniture, left just as he remembered from when Dumbledore was Headmaster. Severus, nor the current Headmistress, didn't appear to have been willing to change a thing. Now that seemed far too long ago, even if it was only technically a couple of months prior to the current state of affairs. Even the Pensieve and the memory cabinet appeared untouched, however, he knew full well that it only contained memories of Tom Riddle, and other areas of Dumbledore's past that did not in any way, provide Harry with any further information that would help him at this time.

The office was indeed empty of any living soul, however. Even though McGonagall appeared to be out, he almost expected Fawkes to remain perched by the Headmaster's desk. He was sad to find that it was not the case, and his mind drifted to where in the world the magnificent Phoenix could possibly be.

Mustering up the courage, he turned to face the wall of the previous Headmasters immortalised by their magical portraits. Harry had to file back the idea to see if it was possible to add Severus' portrait as a past Headmaster, but he knew that the request may not be so well-received just yet. Maybe once he could clear his name, that might be a possibility. Immediately, he glanced up at the golden-framed portrait of Albus Dumbledore who greeted him with a beaming smile perched upon his face, that Harry barely remembered. He wasn't sure what expression he was to be wearing, because he knew this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

_It's just a portrait and not the real Dumbledore. Keep that in mind before you freak out, Harry._

"Ah, Harry – " Portrait Dumbledore leaned forward within his painted throne-like chair, eyeing Harry with curiosity over his half-moon spectacles, " – I've been wondering when you'd visit again."

"Hi, Professor, " Harry managed to present a half-smile, which was a poor effort on his part, but he wasn't here on simple pleasantries.

"How are you, my boy?"

"Dealing somehow…I suppose?" Well, it wasn't a lie. As to _how_ he was dealing, was another question entirely.

The portrait seemed to study Harry's expression with uncertainty, and not entirely convinced by the boy's demeanor, "You don't appear to be someone who has just become victorious."

Harry frowned, "Well, thing's aren't exactly _good_ right now. You and I seem to have a _very_ different meaning of being victorious."

Dumbledore clasped his hands together, casually, "Perhaps, it all comes down to perspective. What is on your mind, Harry?"

"You _really_ don't know?" Harry couldn't fathom how the man could be so pleasantly ignorant, "I'd have thought Professor McGonagall would have told you."

Dumbledore chuckled likely, "Minerva is a wise woman, and she knows better than to divulge important information to a mere portrait, even if that portrait is myself. She has much respect for you, not to do such a thing."

Harry tilted his head, slightly amused by that, "Oh, well, I'm glad she did."

The old Headmaster leaned back in his chair, "Also likely also due to her bitterness upon my _livelier_ self in withholding crucial information from her. Regrettably."

"You _did_ keep a lot from other people. I get why you had to, but it wasn't fair on someone like Severus who had to bear that burden when you died, " Harry sighed.

Dumbledore nodded slowly, "Yes, yes. There was much that I could not discuss, even with him. He was as blind in the fight as you were – It was _imperative_ that it had to be that way."

"I have to ask – " Harry clenched his jaw, " – Did you _really_ expect the both of us to…die?"

The old wizard paused for a moment as his once-warm expression turned stern, "With you, Harry, I was confident that you would survive, but I was not one hundred percent certain. I knew that the Horcrux within you had to be destroyed, and as a _living_ Horcrux, your own soul would still remain intact once the deed was done. Alas, it made sense that you were likely to survive. As for poor Severus, given his task, I think even he knew that he would meet his unfortunate end."

Harry shook his head of the thoughts running through his mind. He had so many questions, but nowhere to start, "Did you ever give Severus a back-up plan or _something_ else that would ensure his survival? I mean, you gave him _barely_ anything to fight with as he didn't know anything about the Elder Wand. That's like sending someone to fight a dragon without a wand, or a weapon."

"The same reason he could not know of the Horcruxes. For any reason Tom would succeed to pierce his mind, he would know everything, and the plan would have faltered. Severus' mind _was_ his weapon."

"And you still sent him into constant danger like that, alone?" Harry bit his lip, feeling rather ill, " _Why_ couldn't you have told someone else? Like, Professor McGonagall, or even someone else in the Order."

"It was the safest way, Harry. The fewer people who were privy to the truth, the better the outcome."

Harry paused for several moments, still confused about it all. It seemed that no matter what, Severus was doomed to die, "Severus is gravely ill from when he was attacked by Nagini. Cursed, like you were with the Gaunt ring. Did you ever _think_ about what might happen if he did survive? He's been a fugitive fighting for his life since I defeated Voldemort. Did you ever think to leave _anything_ behind to help prove that he was on our side? Because right now, Severus is…" Harry felt every muscle in his body tense, "I don't think you ever realised how this was going to affect _him_."

"Harry, in war there are necessary risks. I intended for him to have the Elder Wand once he ended my life, but from what I've been made aware, that unfortunately did not transpire as predicted, " Dumbledore stared passively at Harry, almost unmoved by Harry's words. _Did portraits even have feelings?_ "I admit that Severus was ill-equipped with an impossible task, that would likely result in his death. It was essential that my death was by _his_ hand, as to fully integrate him back into the Death Eater fold to _maintain_ his position. That was crucial. "

"You _didn't_ answer my question. Did you once stop to think about how he _felt_ about it? You used my mother as a device to keep him going, even though he already loathed what he had become because of all of this. You didn't do enough to help him. I know, because he's – " _Hurt, distraught, damaged, depressed, guilt-ridden…_ Harry swallowed thickly, and turned away. How could Dumbledore not care? He knew this was a portrait, but even the real Dumbledore would have at least considered this. Severus was an unfortunate pawn in a game of ruthless wizard's chess, and Harry couldn't believe how anyone could _use_ someone like this. Someone like Severus Snape.

"I gave him a purpose, Harry. Without that reason, he would have been lost many years ago. I gave him an opportunity to fight in Lily's name."

"But you _used_ him, Professor! He didn't even _want_ to be a Professor or a spy. I'm trying to clear his name from the Ministry, and all I have is _my_ word. Did you even _think_ about leaving _anything_ for his defense if he were to survive?"

Dumbledore shook his head, "No, Harry. I could not take that risk."

Now Harry started to feel a wave of new simmering anger rise within him, as his shallow breaths attempted to quell it from spilling over the edge, "He lost _everything_ , Professor. All this time, you allowed me to _hate_ him, and I never really knew why until it was too late!"

"You seem very protective over Severus now, Harry. Apart from your calmness to address him by his first name, it appears in this time you both have been able to reconcile, " Dumbledore smiled.

"Yeah, seven years too late, and he's _dying_ with nowhere else to turn - " Harry felt hot angry tears prick at his eyes, feeling slightly betrayed. The older man still smiled, and clearly didn't see how this was affecting him, " – You really should have told us more information. To keep things like that from us, was unfair. To turn Severus into the enemy when he _wasn't_ , was unfair. To hide these secrets from the both of us…You know, I understand Severus more now than I ever dared to before. It's no wonder he always seemed _angry_. I get it now."

"There was no better way. I hope that someday, you can come to terms with that. It was war, Harry. We all had to make difficult decisions we are not proud of, " Dumbledore responded, calmly, "I am deeply regretful that Severus is unwell, but I hope you both find the peace you both seek in the time he has left. Do not waste it in guilt and regret, my boy."

Harry scowled at the man, breathing heavily now, "That's it? That's _all_ you're going to say? No other solution to help save his life?" He threw his hands up frustratingly in the air, "Why am I even bothering? You're a portrait. I'm just _wasting_ my time – "

"Harry, you must understand –"

" – What? Unfortunate casualties, right? Is that what you were going to say? You may have used my dead mother as an incentive towards a grieving man, but you gave him no hope afterward _whatsoever_. Everything you told him was based on the assumption that he would die. Otherwise, you would have given him hope for a better life afterward. You know, to make up for his years of torment. He was going to die thinking everyone failed him. He was going to die knowing that the wizarding world _hated_ him. That is _unfair_ for someone who gave up everything to fight for _us_!"

Dumbledore sat silently and sighed gently, pausing for several moments in his bid to choose his words carefully, "Nothing is fair. I take fault for my actions against Severus, but I never intended for him to suffer. He did, very much so, during his time as Headmaster. I had hoped for a better way, but he _was_ the better way. There was no one else, besides yourself, that I could trust _completely_."

Harry's shoulders slumped, feeling his eyes well up with tears. He was clearly upset, "I can't give up on him, Professor. Everyone else may have, but I can't. If you really left _nothing_ to help me prove Severus' loyalty to you – besides these _bloody_ memories - then this conversation is finished – " Harry didn't even dare look at the portrait again, because he stormed directly out of the office, he once found welcoming. He felt so many conflicting emotions. He felt angry, saddened, confused, disheartened, frustrated. Portrait or not, Dumbledore cared not about the feelings of Harry or even Severus. Sure, for _the greater good_. But there had to be _some_ empathy in it, especially for a powerful wizard such as Dumbledore who already had such a colorful past.

The entire conversation was disheartening.

Harry made the decision not to head home yet, for fear of further lashing out with an anger that just kept on bubbling within him. He didn't want to face anyone else at that point in time, as angry tears trailed down his cheeks and he did nothing to stop them. He allowed them to fall, in hope that the tension would leave him along with them. He strode through the castle, making his way towards the exit. He passed Professor Flitwick at one point who called out to him in greeting, but Harry was too upset to say anything in return or even acknowledge the wizard. He was far too angry with everything to stop with pleasantries, but he really needed – _wanted_ – to be alone for a short while. As he made his way out of the castle, he wandered down the hilled path towards the Forbidden Forest in his intention to visit the Thestrals. He really was in no mood for further human interaction – or portrait for that matter – and so he traveled to the familiar clearing in hope of some well-needed tranquillity.

It was no wonder both Severus and Luna found the appeal in seeking solace in a secluded place surrounded by Thestrals. Thestrals were lonely creatures, much like Harry seemed to feel at times. Much like Luna and Severus did.

The afternoon sun was obscured behind a thick mass of grey clouds, casting an overcast warm glow. Almost one more month of summer left, and Harry would be glad to see autumn. Autumn was most definitely his favorite season - there was something rather magical about the way the leaves turned into vivid displays of reds, oranges, and yellows as the flora take on another identity entirely. Those leaves eventually fall, coating the ground with the same bursts of color as the mild winds blow them across the earth. It was perfect weather to begin to wear light coats and even scarfs, and Harry couldn't wait to sit by the crackling fire seeking warmth with a hot chocolate and watching the dreary rain beat across the windows. For now, he still had some time left to suffer through the uncomfortable heat.

Still reeling from his dismaying conversation with Dumbledore's portrait, Harry withdrew his wand and clasped the handle with a strong, steady grip as he entered the clearing. The tears continued to flow, and it did not bother him because no one was around to hear him so broken.

Harry turned to face the nearest tree, and outstretched his wand arm, " _Glacius impedimenta_!" A frosted sphere appeared at the tip of his wand, and he flourished it angrily towards the tree. The ice was hurled through the air, smashing against the tree, causing shards of ice to shatter to the forest floor, and began to slowly melt within the summer breeze. Harry unleashed the attack again, this time forming a larger sphere; manipulating it within his other hand before he threw it again. His aim was slightly off that time, and it whirled past the tree, almost hitting a Thestral in the distance. The creature darted away in fright, as the ball of ice exploded by its hooves. Harry pursued his attempts a further three, four, five times until he was able to develop a steady stream of frost, which Harry was able to cultivate finally into a beam. The attack was unleashed and hit the tree directly, causing half of it to become encased with a thick layer of ice. The dried leaves above froze over, and some crashed down off the branches due to their sudden weight.

There was a measure of joy within his new accomplishment, but for the most part, he still felt sad. He just wanted to blow off some steam – or ice for that matter – because he was still far too stressed out, especially over his conversation with portrait Dumbledore. Harry wandered towards the other old oak tree with thick and twisted roots, allowing him to sit upon them. The tears still continued to flow, causing a few sobs to finally escape his throat as he buried his head in his hands, shifting his glasses to the top of his head as he did so. He was far too upset to move from his spot and made use of his time alone to release his built-up frustrations and sorrow. It hurt to think now, and he wanted nothing more than life to finally be easy.

He defeated Voldemort – At what point do things get better? The aftermath of the war was still affecting him deeply, and he could barely sleep much undisturbed these days. He struggled immensely, and the only person who did seem to understand his pain was Severus himself. They both seemed to take turns looking out for each other now, as both wrestled with their own pain and guilt. Severus respected him, and Harry respected Severus. They understood each other now, but both were equally afraid to confront their own personal demons. Or even deal with them. There was just so much agony yet to deal with, and not knowing how to move on was the hardest part of all. Harry wasn't about to give up – he still had hope. But there were times where Harry was simply tired of everything and dealing with that seemed impossible. He wished someone else could take over the reins for once, but everything seemed to crash back onto Harry. People were still relying on him, and even though he did not want to fail them, it was difficult to keep that strength going and pretend to everyone else that it was fine. That _he_ was fine.

No, he _wasn't_ fine. He was just sad – all of the time. Everything has changed, and yet at the same time, nothing did.

Harry sat still, with his heavy head buried within his hands, trying to suppress the tears that would not stop flowing. Through occasional shuddered breaths, he heard a rustling of leaves beside him and careful booted footsteps, until he heard a figure sit down beside him. Through the spaces between his fingers and tear-filled eyes, he saw a swish of emerald green robes.

He felt two comforting arms wrap around him, and he leaned into the figure. He didn't have to look up to know that it was Professor McGonagall.

McGonagall rubbed his back soothingly, "Be calm. It'll be alright, Harry. Let it all out. Goodness, you need it."

Through heaved breaths, and a muffled voice, Harry strained to speak, "…How did you…know I was here?"

"Aside from Albus' pleas when I entered my office, and Filius' concerns, I encountered Rubeus along the way who alerted me to where you were heading. This was the only place that came to mind. Severus used to frequent this space, too - " McGonagall answered calmly, " – Once Severus began to see the Thestrals in his fourth year, this was the place he used to escape to."

"…How did that happen?"

McGonagall sighed, "Don't tell him I told you this, but he was there when his mother died. She wanted to end her life, and Severus happened to be home earlier than she planned. She could not be saved."

Harry's breath caught shockingly in his throat, "I-I had no idea."

"Neither of the staff was aware until much later, and he hid his grief well – " She sighed, " – I gather your conversation with Albus did not go as planned?"

Harry shook his head, leaning against her shoulder, "No, it didn't. I was mad at him…I just had to leave."

"Understandable, of course, " The elderly witch pulled the teenager away from her embrace, but she allowed one hand to remain on his back in comfort, "He did not make things easier...For any of us. Is there _anything_ I can do for you? I have to keep asking because I know you are too stubborn to accept help when you need it."

Harry briefly closed his sore, tear-stained eyes, "I really don't know, Professor. People get mad when I say, ' _I'm fine_ ', but really…I'm just not dealing with anything much at all."

"I remember that empty feeling after the First War ended - " McGonagall paused, looking up at the gleaming castle in the horizon against the afternoon sun, " – I wanted to feel relieved that Voldemort was gone, and we won. Of course, in a way we did. However, we lost so many, as with your parents. The wizarding community took _months_ to recover from such losses and devastation. People were still living in fear for a long time afterward. I remember having to console many grieving students the following school year – that was indeed a challenging year. This now feels like a repeat of those times, only difference now, is that our enemy is _truly_ gone. But it does not make the pain any easier to bear."

With sorrow, Harry twirled his wand anxiously within his hands, "That's just it. All I feel are the losses. Those who fought and lost their lives. And it's not just the Hogwarts fight that still gives me nightmares, but every single year when I lost someone close to me. And I feel like I'm still losing people. Not only Severus' life, but Neville, and Lee, and all those others who were taken from us. I almost lost Ginny…" Harry had to stop himself from continuing because he felt fresh tears again. He felt the hand around his back rub soothingly, still.

"I know, Harry. All we can do now is attempt to focus our minds on other things. Without that, we will also be lost. We keep going, like we always have, " McGonagall reassured, reaching to squeeze his shoulder gently, "We are Gryffindors, after all. We don't back down without a fight. We are too stubborn to do such a thing, and I'm sure you can agree with that."

Harry tried to smile through his tears, "…Yeah, I suppose."

"I have sent out letters this morning – _albeit_ a little late - So I hope you will receive yours when you arrive home. Owl post is a little slower these days, especially due to the damage in the Owlery during the battle, and loss of owls."

"I'll be there, Professor – I'll make sure of it. Though, Hogwarts could definitely do with a grief counselor this year, " Harry suggested.

The elderly witch nodded, "Yes, I have been considering that. Speaking of staff, I have spoken to Poppy Pomfrey on behalf of Kingsley, so I have suggested that she go directly to Grimmauld Place to see Severus at once."

"Good, " Harry was pleased by that, "I'll head there shortly, so Severus doesn't freak out when she shows up."

McGonagall shifted within her seat, and looked at Harry with deep concern, "I must ask, Harry. Is it really wise to keep Mr. Malfoy at headquarters? I was hesitant to bring that situation up earlier, but it could not go unnoticed. Surely you understand that we cannot trust him after all that he's done?"

"What else was I to do, Professor? He has agreed to help us. He's not _proud_ of what happened, but I trust him enough to help us finally put an end to it. After all this, I really _don't_ want anything more to do with him."

McGonagall appeared unconvinced, "I sure hope you made the right decision in regard to him."

"With Severus around, he won't dare do anything stupid. He's been helping me keep an eye on him, which has already been a huge help."

"How is Severus? He wouldn't speak a _word_ to me the other day, and he had me deeply worried, " McGonagall placed a hand over her chest, seemingly heartbroken by the state of her friend.

Harry shrugged, "Dealing with things as best he can. He spoke to me yesterday, which was a relief. He was – and still is - in a bit of shock. I really don't want to go into it, but it really scared him."

"I'll attempt to talk to him again soon. You and Severus are alike in the way that neither of you will _ever_ ask for help when you need it. I usually scold him for that."

Harry couldn't help but chuckle at the last remark, "Yeah, that seems right."

The Headmistress rose slowly from her perch beside Harry, "I apologise for my swift departure Harry, however, I have a few last-minute staff interviews lined up today – Take a wild guess on the position I am having difficulty with."

Harry grinned, thinking about the once-cursed DADA position, "Too bad you are a few years too soon with that. Just as long as it is someone competent enough to take on more than one year this time. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces when I finally get there."

The elderly witch tried her best to suppress a smirk, but it did not fare well, "I'm glad you find that amusing, Harry. I am, however, pleased you will be joining us this year. Please take care of yourself – I am always around if you do need to talk again." With a final friendly wave, the Headmistress departed Harry's company, leaving the younger Gryffindor feeling slightly more relieved and less tainted by his earlier sad reverie.

No longer wanting to be there, Harry began to make his way home in time to beat Madam Pomfrey to Grimmauld Place. He knew Severus would be incredibly grouchy if she showed up unannounced, so he made sure to have that brief discussion with him beforehand. Severus snarled in bitterness towards the idea, but eventually, he was able to agree to it. The Hogwarts Healer arrived an hour later in her usual white and soft blue attire, looking rather frazzled in her hasty visit. She glanced at Harry, shaking her head, possibly wondering what trouble they got up to now. Suddenly, Harry felt like he was eleven years old again. She was lovely but was known to be a little scary at times when you failed to listen to her advice. Though Harry was amused when she entered Severus' room and immediately reprimanded him upon entry, so Harry didn't feel quite as bad. In fact, she probably still saw the Potion's Master as a teenager she had once looked after in his youth, which added to the amusement. Despite Severus' growls and protests, Madam Pomfrey had finished her assessment within the hour and made haste back to the Headmistress, who reported to Minister Kingsley at once. Before she left, she did inform Harry that, should Severus decline further, that she could be contacted immediately. She was already pleased by their interventions so far, but she was worried that there will be a point where higher care would be needed. He was grateful for the offer, and thus, she set off back to Hogwarts to complete her report.

And as the Headmistress had mentioned, Harry had received his Hogwarts letter conforming his Seventh year as a student. He wasn't overly excited just yet considering what Draco had suggested previously, but he responded to the letter almost immediately while the owl was still present. Despite that, he had to wonder what a danger-free year would be like at Hogwarts. That was likely was he was looking forward to, the most.

The following day, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna gathered in the Grimmauld Place sitting room to go over the final touches to the article. So far, they were able to construct enough of an editorial to cover almost three entire pages of _The Quibbler_ , much to Luna's delight. Luna by that point had planned a large five-page opening to the quirky newspaper paying tribute to those who lost their lives at the Battle of Hogwarts, and the eventual downfall of Voldemort. Being the first issue to be published since the Wars' end, Luna and her father wanted this issue to highlight those events and allow the wizarding community to remain informed. The campaign itself was more successful than he anticipated, and even a few people such as Katie Bell, and to Harry's shock – Seamus Finnigan, finally – had elected to add their piece in his support. Perhaps Dean had a good discussion with Seamus about it, and like Ron, was still slightly bitter towards the strict Potion's Master, but Harry was relieved they were finally able to see things from his point of view. That was a relief in itself.

So once the group was ready, Harry gave Luna the go-ahead to print. He did seem to feel a mixture of proud accomplishment, with a slight inkling of dread. He knew this was the right choice, and Rita Skeeter be damned, but he was going to make sure the wizarding world of Britain knew of Severus' heroics, despite what others may have perceived him to be. Not only to counter Rita's slandering article in The Daily Prophet but to support their plea to Severus' bid to complete freedom.

Over the course of the day, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny had paid every member of the DA a visit to gather names of anyone who was willing to stand in Severus' defense during the trial. There was quite a growing list, as Harry was pleased to see, even if some members needed to be more convinced than others. But they trusted Harry therefore they trusted his judgment. Given past situations where no one was willing to believe him, they seemed to have learned their lesson now and didn't hesitate to place their support. After not believing Harry when Voldemort had returned, they were sure not to make that mistake again.

The last thing Harry needed was to have the wizarding community of Britain calls him a liar again.

* * *

The following day, Harry had noticed his friends being extra secretive around him. He knew the day after would mark his eighteenth birthday, and he was adamant about not having a surprise party and didn't bother trying to hide those concerns. He really hated the idea of it, and he even threatened with leaving and not returning to Grimmauld Place just to smite the idea. Of course, Harry didn't want to offend anyone, but he clearly was not in the mood for such social pleasantries or even any event that would require him to plaster a half-smile on his face. Instead, he agreed to have a few people over to celebrate and appease the majority, since he had so many people asking about it. Harry didn't see what the big deal was, and he couldn't care less about celebrating another year older, especially knowing that he would want nothing more than to see those who were no longer with them, such as Sirius and Remus. It was too painful to think about.

Even Severus was a little more secretive, and even vague, whenever his friends mentioned 'birthday' around him, which had Harry feeling a little annoyed. He did not want people going through all the effort. Severus had told Harry that, for Draco's sake, the pair of them will venture elsewhere leaving Harry to the guests for the afternoon. Which, Harry also felt bad for that suggestion, but he had to remind himself that it was for one day only, and he just wanted it over and done with. Severus did not plan on sticking around to mingle, and Harry couldn't help but feel jealous that he didn't have that option. But he knew Severus really didn't have the energy to face the majority of them, so as saddened as Harry was with the decision, it was the wisest one.

He honestly wished Harry were anywhere else.

Harry admittedly, woke up a little grumpy on the morning of his birthday. He was more than prepared to see anyone with enough courage to jump out at him in surprise, and he was awfully close to hexing whatever poor sod decided to attempt it. Harry would have been more than fine for a small celebration, but instead, Grimmauld Place would become yet again, social central. So far, Ginny had bounded up the stairs late that afternoon being the first to greet Harry, which wasn't so bad. She had planted him with kisses, as they lay in bed together casually, salvaging some alone time to simply talk and relish in each other's company. In all honesty, Harry would rather do this for the remainder of the day and let the partygoers get drunk on firewhisky and rum downstairs if they so chose to.

After an hour, George and Angelina dropped by Grimmauld Place, while Harry was with Ginny upstairs. George thought it would be funny to send a Howler to the pair, telling Ginny to stop hogging Harry and to get downstairs. Harry couldn't help but flush with embarrassment and the intrusion of privacy with his girlfriend and hope that there not many guests downstairs to hear the Howler's rattling voice booming through headquarters. Of course, Harry and Ginny were only talking, but what was a birthday without a little unnecessary embarrassment for the birthday boy?

_Thanks, guys. You couldn't be more discreet? Severus and Draco are still here, you bellend. Ugh, is it too late to bail out?_

Begrudgingly, Ginny made her way downstairs to scold her brother, whilst Harry went to go shower and freshen up, along with a well-needed shave upon hearing Ginny's echo of his prickly facial stubble. After he got dressed, he made his way downstairs to see Severus' door slightly ajar on his way down. He poked his head between the door, to find Severus buttoning up his black suit top, over his crinkled white shirt. The man looked up upon Harry's entry.

"You really don't have to leave, you know, sir, " Harry felt a bit terrible, "Especially because you should be resting."

"I've had enough of Poppy's coddling yesterday, and I really do not require yours today, " Severus finished with the top few buttons, as far as the bandage on his neck will allow it, "Besides, it is wise that I do briefly depart. Can't have myself _wilfully_ mingling with a crowd, a few of which are still hostile towards me. No, I will return later with Draco, when it is safe enough to do so."

Harry's shoulders slumped slightly, "Sorry. I didn't particularly want others over…"

"No matter. You only turn eighteen once, " Severus gingerly stood up, and slowly made his way towards his desk, where he picked up a bundle of rolled-up parchment held neatly together by a thin silver rope. He stood tall with a single-arm curtly beside his back as he stood before Harry, and held out the parchment for him to take, "Congratulations upon reaching a year older."

Harry blinked several times, staring at the thick bundle of parchment. He wasn't expecting anything from Severus for his birthday, so was immediately taken aback by the gesture. Eventually, Harry retrieved the parchment, not knowing how to respond, "You didn't have to get me anything, sir."

"I didn't have to, but it was imperative that I did, " Severus watched Harry carefully, as the Gryffindor slowly reached for the rope to untie. The man raised his eyebrow, and spoke firmly, " _However_ , I will request that you are to open it later, understood?"

Harry released the hold on the rope, "Oh, uh, sure. Thank you."

"You haven't seen it yet, Harry. No gratuities are needed, " Severus turned on his heel and began to stash the medicinal potions at his bedside into a small brown leather pouch. Harry could see that the man felt slightly uncomfortable – was it the gift? Harry himself, remained unmoving from the spot, watching the Slytherin fumble with the glass vials with trembling, pale hands. Was that his cue to leave? He wasn't sure.

Harry bit his lip, holding the parchment roll close to his chest, "I-Is everything alright? Yeah, I know. It's a stupid question."

Severus had finished packing the vials and leaned forward onto the bedside table for a few moments to gather himself before he turned to face Harry once again. Harry could see closely at the man now. His eyes appeared bloodshot and exhausted, and Harry had to wonder if he was having nightmares, too. His thin lips dry and cracked along with some sections of his dark hair, which was noticeably thinner, and more fragile from what Harry could see. The man in the suit had lost much of the natural weight he had always sustained through the last seven years, except his poor appetite now which caused him to become alarmingly thinner. His clothes now were no longer as fitted as they were tailored to be. Harry could still hear a sickening crackle from the man's lungs with each struggled to inhale and exhale. The bandage on his neck could no longer conceal the blackened tendrils of the curse, which had now become to creep up to his jawline. He had to wonder how much of his body the curse had reached, and Harry had to summon whatever willpower he had left to look away from the wound that was ruining his life.

Severus saw the teenager avert his gaze from his wound, and the Slytherin uncomfortably shifted the hem of his suit, in his bid to divert the question, "Do – not – worry. I will return _later_."

"Sure, I'll just activate the button that says, ' _worry not_ ', and see how well that goes, " Harry stared blankly at Severus, who returned an unimpressed steely gaze upon his sarcasm, "Okay, _fine_. Just, take the Invisibility Cloak with you. And _please_ don't give it to Malfoy. I'd rather not have to wrestle it from him, later."

Severus crossed his arms over his chest, and waited patiently for a few moments before continuing with slight amusement upon Harry's frequent concerns, "…Are you finished?"

The Gryffindor bit his lip, "I think so."

"Go your friends, Harry – " Severus reassured in a gentle tone, as he dropped his hands by his side, "- Enjoy yourself. Don't keep them waiting."

"Yeah. I'll try," Harry nodded, as he left the Slytherin and turned on his heel to drop the odd parchment off back into his room, in exchange for the Invisibility Cloak for Severus to utilise temporarily. He delivered Cloak without another word and joined the group in the sitting room who were all waiting patiently for him.

As Harry entered the room, he was surprised that it had filled up with so many people in the brief time he was upstairs. Besides the extra people now occupying the space, the room itself had been decorated upon his absence. There were charmed scarlet and gold balloons bouncing off the ceiling changing shape at every contact, with streamers hanging across the walls and dangling from the windows. Harry looked up to find that the ceiling had been enchanted to look like the sky outside, which was exactly the same charm used in the Great Hall at Hogwarts – he grinned in awe. The room had already been re-arranged temporarily, and across the back wall was a larger table transfigured, containing an assortment of savory dishes and sweets of all kinds. In the center of that table was a large three-tier cake, with chocolate frosting and a large enchanted '18' on the time, glowing a bright red like an electric Muggle neon sign. Beside the table, was a stack of gifts of all sizes from the guests.

He had to wonder if Ginny kept him in his room earlier on purpose so that they could set up downstairs, which also had him thinking if Severus was in on that too. Who else could enchant that ceiling?

_Sneaky._

Besides the wonderful display and redecoration of the sitting room, Harry was shocked to find that there were so many people who decided to show up that afternoon. Aside from the entire Weasley clan including Percy, Bill, and Fleur, most of the remaining DA members decided to appear as well. Dean, Seamus, and Katie were playing a very competitive game of exploding snap by the fire. Hannah, Susan, and the Patil twins were gossiping away with mugs of butterbeer in their hands. Luna and her father were assisting Kreacher to set up the food table. Arthur and George were attempting to tackle a small gramophone to play some tunes to fit the mood, with Angelina standing amusingly by. Molly was engaging in conversation with McGonagall and Kingsley, whom the latter decided to drop by for a short visit. In the other corner, Andromeda was attempting to settle baby Teddy, which had Harry's heart do backflips within his chest – He was not expecting them to be here.

And of course, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were beaming at him upon his entry.

"How…?!"

Hermione grinned, "Never you mind, Harry. I _know_ you didn't want anything big and fancy, but some people wanted to see you. I couldn't exactly turn them away…"

"At least we don't have to worry about Voldemort crashing _this_ party, " Ron said, handing Harry a mug of ice-cold butterbeer, "Here you go, mate. Happy birthday, you old bat."

" _Thanks,_ Ronald, " Hermione smirked sarcastically at Ron, knowing full well she was the oldest out of the three of them.

Harry gratefully took the mug, "Thanks guys, really. I mean…This is incredible, despite you all going through all this trouble."

"I know it's a bit much, but it was fun to put together. It was Luna's idea for the decorations, and Snape enchanted the ceiling. That was fun to watch, " Ginny looked proud of their efforts, "And everyone else kept coming up with new ideas."

Hermione lowered her voice, "Is Snape going to be joining us?"

Harry shook his head, "No, he didn't want to intrude. Besides, none of these guys know about Malfoy and I want to keep it that way for now. They'll be back later."

"Good idea, to be honest, " Ron responded, as he took a large sip of his drink, "None of these guys will let Malfoy out alive. Bad enough Dad is still bitter about Snape, and seeing Malfoy? We don't need another Muggle showdown, as much as I can't stand the sight of that slimy git."

"Harry, dear!" Andromeda walked up to Harry, holding baby Teddy close to her chest holding out her free arm to embrace Harry into a welcoming hug. Despite the woman's uncanny resemblance to her deranged sister Bellatrix, Harry was happy to see that she made it here and had not expected that at all. At this point, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny snuck away to re-join the others, allowing Harry time with Andromeda and the baby, "Happy birthday!"

"It's really great to see you again, Andromeda – " Harry pulled out of the embrace, " – How are you holding up?"

The woman looked slightly fatigued, and sorrowful, "Oh, it's been rough. Teddy here has been keeping me busy, of course. I still can't believe they are gone…My husband, and daughter…" She appeared teary-eyed, and tried her best to stop herself from getting upset, "I'm sorry - I told myself I wouldn't get upset, but when Molly contacted me about your birthday, I couldn't say no."

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for Teddy. Things aren't safe right now, with the whole other Death Eater problem. But when it is, I can dedicate more time to him. I don't want to let you all down."

The woman's kind face shook her brunette locks, "Oh, _nonsense_ , Harry. You haven't let any of us down. Thanks to you, we can all start to rebuild our lives once more. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, " Andromeda smiled warmly, "Would you like to hold him?"

"Oh, err…Yeah, of course. I'd love to, " Harry hesitated at first, not expecting the request. But as a Godfather himself, it'll be rude to refuse, "I've never held a baby before."

Andromeda giggled lightly, "Well, you're about to learn early. Now, hold your arms like this…Yes, that's it. Now your other arm under here like that…Great, wait, a little lower…Now hold still - " The woman gently lowered Teddy into Harry's folded arms, who writhed slightly upon being shifted to someone else, " - There you go. You got it!"

Harry stared down at the warm bundle within his arms, and upon the tiny face of a baby staring up at him with bright blue-green eyes. The baby wriggled slightly in his hold but greeted Harry with coos and gurgles. Harry was in awe – His heart leaped with joy at the opportunity, despite how honestly nervous he was. If only Remus and Tonks could be here now to see this. He couldn't let them down, no way. Looking upon the sweet face of Teddy made Harry even more determined to set the world right again. For babies like Teddy who lost their parents – much like he did – now to grow up in a new world recovering from such great losses. He was thankfully Teddy had Andromeda, who will love him unconditionally.

Teddy grasped Harry's offered finger, and held on tightly, "Hey, little one. Your mum and dad love you very much – they told me to tell you that."

Andromeda looked at Harry with tearful eyes, "…They did?"

Harry nodded, suddenly becoming tearful himself, "Yeah. I just wish they were here, too, to tell him in person."

Suddenly, Harry noticed the room fell silent, as all the guests were watching him closely with baby Teddy. Molly and McGonagall were beaming with pride, and Harry couldn't help but flush in mild embarrassment from the sudden unnecessary spotlight. After a few passing moments, Harry handed Teddy back to Andromeda who was about to feed him with the milk bottle ready in her hand. Harry joined the rest of the others and spent some time rotating around the room making sure to see every single person without missing anyone. He wasn't really in the mood to be sociable – Harry snorted to himself upon Severus' sarcastic remark several months ago about being a socialite – but he couldn't be rude, as much as he'd rather be alone somewhere to gather his thoughts.

After a while, the guests sang ' _Happy Birthday'_ , much to Harry's dismay and awkwardness. Molly began to cut the cake, and Arthur began to pour modest amounts of firewhiskey to everyone as a celebratory beverage.

"Speech time!" George yelled out, tapping his wand against his whiskey glass. A few others called out in agreement.

"Come on, Harry!"

"Do you need more firewhiskey for it?"

_No, no, no, noooo. Please don't make me do a speech. Dammit, George._

With a defeated sigh, the room fell silent leaving Harry to his own devices, "I, err…Um, thank you all for being here. Not sure what else to say, since turning eighteen wasn't exactly what I was focused on this year. But I really appreciate you all more than I can express. I want to dedicate this to all those who could not be here to join us today. So…to our lost loved ones," Harry raised his glass.

"And to Harry Potter, whom we'd not be here without, " Arthur chimed in.

"To Harry!" Everyone cheered collectively, taking a simultaneous sip of their beverage.

Feeling the end of the party draw near, McGonagall and Kingsley departed the festivities to return to their obligatory posts, as Harry had been insisted on to begin opening his gifts. He wasn't a fan of the sudden spotlight on him during this task, but he really just wanted to get this over with. As much as he enjoyed everyone's company, he really did have his limits.

The first gift caught Harry by surprise immediately, which was given to him by Hermione, Ron, and Ginny together. Ron left the room briefly and returned with a large cage covered by a black cloth. Inside, was an owl. A great horned owl, with a beautiful fawn, grey and white feathered coat, and black markings on its face. His eyes were bright yellow and were significantly larger than Hedwig had been. Apparently, Harry's friends had been discussing this for a while, and Severus had decided to pitch in a few galleons to make up for the unfortunate loss of Hedwig. Harry had already known it was Severus who took Hedwig down in a bid not to blow Harry's cover during the sky battle from Little Whinging to a safe zone. So, it made sense for him to collectively assist with the latest owl purchase, and they must have done so when Harry was not home.

Harry had no idea what to name the owl, so he gathered he'd ponder on that later.

He spent the next quarter of an hour opening the other gifts, from a new broom maintenance kit, to more handmade sweaters from Molly, and an assortment of wacky gifts from George curtesy of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, a Quidditch ball set from Dean and Seamus, a stack of Charm and Transfiguration books from Luna and her father, lots of chocolate and sweets from the Patil twins, a package of joke novelties from Zonko's, and a fancy new quill and ink set from Hermione. Hermione had also told Harry that Hagrid had something for him but wanted to see Harry in person. Harry himself made a mental note to visit him tomorrow.

As the afternoon gradually turned to night, some of the guests began to leave Grimmauld Place, leaving the house in a slight mess as the numbers dwindled. The Weasley's departed, all but Ron and Ginny, with Andromeda and Teddy leaving soon after. After a few more rounds of butterbeer, the remaining DA members left, and the house was almost empty once more. By this point, Harry had released his owl from its cage, as it perched atop a stand in the corner of the room allowing a few friendly scratches from Harry as it did so.

Once Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna left, Harry was left alone once more. The day has been busy and exhausting at the least due to all that human interaction, but now he just looked forward to some quiet time in the now peaceful house. Harry snatched a chocolate chip cookie from the table and ventured upstairs towards his room. He kicked off his shoes and yawned heavily as he sat on the edge of the bed, eating the delicious cookie baked by Molly. Harry glanced over at his bedside table and saw the large stack of parchment that Severus had given him. Wiping the remnants of the cookie on his pants, he carefully began to undo the delicate silver rope binding the roll together. There were many pages rolled together, and Harry was able to flip through them, briefly scanning each page. It was a collection of spells, potions, and other tidbits of knowledge that was reminiscent of the information he sought from the Advanced Potions Making textbook from Severus himself. But in this case, every potion was detailed – some which he had never even heard of before – along with a list of his own personal spells, complete with small diagrams - that no one else knew. Each spell had a detailed description, along with their counter-curses and sigils. There was a page on battle tactics and defense, along with further knowledge pertaining to Defence Against the Dark Arts that Severus was likely not allowed to teach. There were even some pieces of literature and poems written and scattered throughout, which had Harry curious about.

It was a plethora of information that had Harry very eager to read and learn through it. But… _Why_ did he give this to Harry? He assumed he was going to publish a book with it.

At the end of the roll of parchment, a small piece of paper slid out from the stack and fluttered to the floor. Harry picked it up – it was a letter written in Severus' familiar spidery scrawl:

_Harry –_

_I am not adept in the way of expression, nor do I know if this would be understood by you, but I am far more comfortable in writing than I would do so verbally. Thus, I felt this letter was more appropriate. It is, by strange fate and turn of events, that we have now since reconciled and that is something I never anticipated would ever to happen. Regardless of that, I appreciate this wholeheartedly. There is a change within me, that is true. However, I fear it – not because it is a terrible thing, but because I am unfamiliar with such gratuitous territory. Regrettably, I do not know how to express any measure of love, and that is what I fear the most. It is impossibly sought after, and I struggle to express it._

_Within this opportunity of finally understanding you, I realise my past harsh misjudgment has caused me to overstep many bounds in the past, and I cannot swiftly move past those mistakes. You know all of them, and thus, I have nothing left to hide from you now. But in knowing you, I have begun to learn a side of myself I never knew that I was capable of. I suppressed so much of myself over the years, that which forced me to become cold and ruthless. I was unnecessarily cruel, especially to you. I cannot accept the forgiveness you so freely give, because all I can think about is what could have been if I were not so warped by my past and consumed with the mission I dedicated my life to._

_To finally know you know, many years too late has been a blessing I truly do not deserve after all the damage I have done. You have instilled a change within me and gave me a chance when no one else would. Whatever may transpire in the near future, I want you to know that I have always cared more than I dare to admit, and I want nothing more than for you to live a happy, fulfilled life. Please do not allow yourself to live with guilt, because you've seen firsthand how destructive and debilitating it can become. I do not want to see you live that life._

_Harry, no matter how long I have left, I want you to know how immensely proud I am of you, and the impossible you've had to overcome. Although I wish I could have done more, we both succeeded in avenging Lily's life. I should never have underestimated you, and I am deeply sorry for all the pain I caused you._

_Severus S._

Harry finished reading the letter with tearful eyes, mulling over the words several times to further absorb it into his heart. It was no wonder Severus had told him to read it later – Harry probably would not have been able to function otherwise if he did. He was far too sentimental to dismiss such a thing, and he had an inkling Severus knew that too. And to think that even Severus would have had a difficult time writing this, Harry was grateful that the man was finally able to open up and with each surprise in character, he was able to understand the man so much more. Harry could not understand why Severus was so desperate to hide the better parts of himself – why was he so scared to show them? Surely it had nothing to do with keeping his cover. On a personal level, he likely felt too much shame to do such a thing. But to see it marked on a page, further sunk it into his chest.

The front door gently shut, which Harry barely strained himself to hear amongst his heavily beating heart from the contents of the letter.

"Geez, what the hell happened in here? Gryffindors are definitely not classy partygoers. Bloody hell – " Harry rolled his eyes upon Malfoy's remark on the floors below.

Harry waited until he heard several doors shut before he proceeded to make his way downstairs. Severus was likely expecting him to pay him a visit, and despite that, Harry didn't know how to approach him this time. The gift, and especially the letter, he did not expect. It was heartfelt and honest, and Harry knew the man was still consumed by a lifetime of guilt. This letter, as Harry gathered, would have been incredibly difficult for him to write. Perhaps it was also why he felt slightly uneasy with giving him the parchment earlier – He was likely worried as to how Harry would receive those words he so carefully wrote. Harry exited his room, and slowly began to descend to the second floor until he reached Severus' room. Harry paused at the door in his bid to compose himself when eventually he knocked several times until the familiar baritone voice responded.

"Enter."

Harry clasped the door handle with a slightly shaky hand and turned it, slowly opening the door with a light creak, and stepped inside. He watched as Severus stood by the bed, gingerly removing his traveling cloak, looking a little worse for wear, and swaying slightly on the spot clearly fatigued and diminished of any energy he had left. As soon as Severus stripped off the cloak to throw it over the chair, he turned back exhaustedly towards Harry, whose eyes were still filled with tears. Severus hesitated at his appearance.

"I read the parchment – " Harry spoke quietly, " – W-why did you give that to me? I thought you wanted to publish it."

The man halted any immediate response, allowing the man to ponder deeply. Eventually, Severus spoke wistfully in return, "…Just in case."

Harry paused in a bid to quell his heavy heart, "I also read the letter." Severus at that point looked at the Gryffindor, without ushering a single word. Harry did not speak for fear of the bubble rising within his throat diminishing his own voice, and as he watched the man before him, his gaze seemed to soften. Severus lowered his head slightly, possibly as stricken as Harry was at that moment.

Without further thought, Harry made a few slow careful steps towards him, and within a risky decision, decided to wrap his arms around the man's torso, resting his head on his chest. Harry felt the man's sickly, wheezing breaths seem to constrict in the unexpected gesture, as his body went rigid upon contact. Harry could hear the man's racing heart struggle to keep up with the faltering man attempting to hold it together. But despite that, Harry held on tighter not knowing if the man was going to throw him off or decide to succumb to it. It felt like ages past, and possibly too long of a time for Severus to think about what to do next. Eventually, after several agonising minutes, Harry felt the returning arms wrap around him gently, feeling the man's thin frame start to soften from its rigidity, but he still held on tight. Harry's eyes watered again, as a few tears decided to soak into the man's chest. Harry felt heaved breaths from Severus, as he had the horrible feeling that he had never experienced such a gesture like this before, or for a long time at the very least.

Severus' head gradually rested against the top of Harry's, as they stood there together finally able to provide a measure of comfort to each other throughout these difficult times, that they both so desperately needed.


	49. Risks and Consequences

* * *

CHAPTER 49: Risks and Consequences

The following day, Harry released his new owl so the creature could stretch its wings. After nipping Harry on the fingers briefly, he watched as the magnificent bird flew off into the midday sun for some fresh air. He had to remind himself that this bird was not Hedwig, and thus, he appeared to dislike being around humans too much. Harry had to find that fact amusing and seemed to sense the others within the house. At one point that morning, the owl screeched as Draco bounded towards the stairs to the kitchen, taking flight and chasing the Slytherin downstairs. After allowing himself to chuckle at the amusing situation, he called the bird off and released it outside. At least he knew to avoid giving the bird a name that would falsify its snippy demeanor. At least Hedwig had a sweeter disposition, but this bird seemed to have its own sense of humor which kept Harry rather entertained.

As promised, Harry left Grimmauld Place shortly after to pay Hagrid a visit as Hermione had indicated the day prior, although he felt slightly guilty that he didn't stop to greet him during his ill-fated visit to Dumbledore's portrait. Thinking back on that unfortunate conversation, he felt mad with himself that he expected too much from a portrait that had zero ounce of empathy. He really didn't know what else to anticipate from him, but he definitely learned his lesson well from that encounter.

Harry Apparated within Hagrid's newly planted pumpkin patch, carrying a container filled with food from the party thrown for him the day before. Everyone clearly went overboard and had far too much leftover, even for the three still occupying Grimmauld Place – and one with barely any appetite left.

The pumpkins, as Harry could see, were tiny and growing slowly in its ideal warm soil required for successful growth. Harry fondly remembered the large carved pumpkins during his last Halloween spent at Hogwarts – before everything went south - which also happened to take place on the anniversary of the death of his parents. Harry made his way along the pathway, where he was surprised to find Buckbeak the hippogriff preening its feathers beside Hagrid's hut. Through the crunch of the cobblestone path, the magnificent large, winged creature arched its head upwards and began to slowly make his way towards him.

"Hey, Buckbeak, " Harry smiled as he reached out with his hand, to rest it upon the smooth surface of its large beak, who let out a shrill of delight. Harry proceeded to scratch the side of his head, "Hope you're staying out of trouble." Buckbeak lightly stomped his large front talon, as Harry proceeded to run his hands through the creature's soft grey feathers.

Upon the sound of Harry's voice, the door to the hut swung open to reveal Hagrid himself, who greeted the Gryffindor with a beaming smile underneath his shaggy beard, "'Arry!" The half-giant threw a piece of raw meat just beyond where Buckbeak was standing, and Harry watched as the creature bounded towards it, eagerly gobbling it down.

Harry walked up to Hagrid, who enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug, "Good to see you, Hagrid."

"Oh, look at yer now - Eighteen! No longer the eleven-year-old I delivered his Hogwarts le'er, to, " Hagrid playfully ruffled Harry's messy hair, as if he was still the same little kid.

"Has it really been that long? I hadn't noticed, " Harry responded sarcastically, as he began to follow Hagrid inside the hut. Harry settled himself down on a chair across from Hagrid who started to brew a fresh pot of tea by the fire, fumbling around with the delicate tray of mugs as he did so.

Hagrid gave a hearty chuckle, "Trus' me on that. Time moves too quickly for me to keep track of. "

Harry placed the container of food on the kitchen table, "We had a lot leftover from yesterday, and Molly insisted you try her chocolate chip cookies. You know she doesn't take no for an answer."

"Sorry I couldn't be there for yer birthday. Had some business to attend to, organising the new lot o' creatures for class this year – " Hagrid shakily placed a tray of tea, with two large slightly chipped mugs, and a large faded green teapot. Harry crinkled his nose as the smell of ginger wafted a little too strongly under his nostrils. At least Severus didn't try to kill him with over-seeped ginger.

"It's fine, Hagrid. Hermione told me you wanted to see me. Sorry I didn't stop the other day. I kinda just wanted to be alone for a bit – " Harry gratefully retrieved the mug and allowed it to cool slightly in front of him.

Hagrid nodded, "I figured that'll be the case. Hope things are alrigh' now?"

"For now, yeah, I suppose. How're things with you?"

Hagrid retrieved a cookie from the container and ate the entire thing in two bites. Crumbs fell onto his beard, as he hastily brushed them away, "Oh, yer know. Same ol', really. Nothin' new around here. Just been focusin' on extra fortifications for the school. Jus' in case. We're all a bit behind schedule."

"I heard Professor McGonagall interviewed a few people for the Defence position yesterday, " Harry asked, curiously.

Hagrid chuckled under his breath, "Well, I've heard no complaints so far from her. Last I heard, one of 'em is an Auror. Migh' do well for the position to have someone who knows what they are doin' this time."

Harry nodded his head in agreement, "That sounds like the right decision, as long as it's _actually_ an Auror and not a Death Eater in disguise – We've been through _that_ one before. I think Hogwarts has had its fair share of disastrous Defence teachers." _Although, at least Severus knew what he was doing._

"Righ' you are, 'Arry, " Hagrid shifted from his chair, and retrieved a large and slightly dusty fragile box from under the table, and slid it towards Harry, "'appy birthday!"

The large box appeared a little old and worn, and Harry could hear loose objects clanking together as he moved it. It wasn't a decorated box, so it made him wonder what on earth was inside. Ever curious, Harry carefully pried open the top to find an assortment of objects inside. As he retrieved one, he saw what looked like a small wooden plaque with his mother's name etched in gold on its surface. His eyes widened as he ran his ringers over its writing. The plaque read:

_Lily Evans – 12th February 1977 – Master Potioneer - Winner of Alchemy Club Contests, hosted by Professor Horace Slughorn – Slug Club_

"Wow – " Harry noticed it had been cleaned and looked as good as new. He carefully placed it down treated it like a fragile piece of thin glass, and retrieved a small silver trophy, running his fingers over the small, engraved inscription at the bottom.

_James Potter – 26th May 1976 – Chaser – Gryffindor Team – Quidditch Cup Winner_

"I was patchin' up a wall in the trophy room the other day and found a few of yer parent' trophies from their school days. I fixed 'em up, and figured you'd like to take 'em with you as keepsakes, " Hagrid explained, "They'll be a lot safer with you, 'Arry."

Harry was grateful, "I didn't know my mum did competitions like these."

"Skilled witch, she was. Very modest in 'er achievements, " Hagrid responded, smiling proudly as the teenager studied the treasures with such awe, "Yer mum and dad were model students. But yer already knew that." _…Mostly._

Harry was still in awe of the box filled with his parents' Hogwarts achievements, and each one he picked up, was a puzzle of a life they once had before things turned for the worst. It was almost difficult to believe that they were once students much like he was, with such innocent aspirations and dreams and far beyond the idea of enduring a war. He had no idea his mother involved in such Potions contests, and he didn't know the extent of her talents. There were a few more of her trophies scattered within the box, but Harry was more than eager to take them back home.

Harry looked up grateful at Hagrid, "Thank you, Hagrid. This is fantastic."

Hagrid smiled warmly, "I'm glad ye like it. I couldn't think of a possible thing to give ya, but I so happened to stumble across 'em by chance," Harry watched as the half-giant reached into his pocket and retrieved a small blue pouch, passing it Harry, "Oh, and I 'eard you got yourself a new owl. I have some treats in the bag for you to give 'em."

"Brilliant, " Harry took the pouch and placed it into the box, so he was less likely to be swooped on by rogue owls on the way home, "Everyone has been spoiling me rotten."

"So, they bloody well should, " Hagrid chuckled.

Harry sat with Hagrid for close to an hour, mulling over such simple things, and reminiscing Harry's time at Hogwarts when things weren't so life-threatening. It was strange to think how many years had passed since Hagrid gave him his very first birthday cake and took him on his first visit to Diagon Alley. It still all seemed so surreal to think of the journey that Harry had so blindly been whisked away on, and every threat and danger that was so vehemently presented to him since. It all seemed like a strange dream, or another life, even. Pondering each and every school year was almost like someone reading a book of your life; Harry had a difficult time believing that even he changed through all of it. He knew he did, but you never realise it until someone else points it out. You would never truly understand your growth until you are forced to see things differently.

There was never really any room for proper growth in Harry's life, as he grew up. With a looming threat, he had to grow and mature quicker than he should have. And by seventeen, he was roaming the English countryside seeking refuge and safety from people who were trying to capture him and his friends. Only to face certain death. That seemed like so far away, now. And now these days, posed its own set of problems as he tried his best to pick up the broken pieces as best he could, with whatever willpower he had left after the fight of their lives.

At the age Harry was now, his parents would have been thinking about the wedding, and finally wanting to tie the knot on their vows. And in a few years, they were planning on having their first child. Harry couldn't help but think of how much he _wasn't_ ready for anything such as marriage, or kids. He could barely keep himself afloat these days and keep Ginny happy enough not to consider leaving him. Harry couldn't help but chuckle to himself at that thought. He had far too much to think about first, although holding Teddy for the first time the day before, really put his life into perspective. Harry still had so much left to do before he felt even remotely prepared in the prospect of settling down with a family. He knew for certain Grimmauld Place was out of the question, although he always imagined himself to settle on a house in Godric's Hollow. Or even consider his own offer to Severus, and find their own little cottage in the English, or Scottish, countryside and away from the rest of the world for a while.

He clearly wasn't ready for too many grown-up decisions just yet.

After his casual conversation with Hagrid, Harry bid him farewell as he made the stop home to drop off the box of trinkets belonging to his parents in light of their school achievements. He'd have to find a place to display them somewhere, but it might not be wise with Severus still around. He'll ponder on that problem later.

Once Harry returned home, he went to check up on Severus during his brief stop before leaving again. Stepping carefully on the creaking floorboards, he peered inside Severus' room to find the older Slytherin snoring lightly in his bed, buried underneath a tangled mess of blankets. Beside him was Draco, who had shifted the single armchair closer to the bed, and curled up within it, sleeping soundlessly. Harry lingered at the doorway for a few moments, keeping a watchful eye on both Slytherins. Occasionally, Severus would cough and shiver, as his seemingly frail form shuddered from the recoil. Draco would stir at times from the sound, but for the most part, both of them seemed settled. That was enough for Harry to feel comfortable with leaving again, and he knew he shouldn't be too long. If he could trust Draco with anything, it was keeping an eye on Severus. There was one place that Harry wanted to go, and given his conversation with Hagrid about his parents, Godric's Hollow was on his mind. He had hoped that Severus would join him, but the man was clearly in no state for such a task.

Leaving Grimmauld Place once again, he Apparated directly into one of the side alleyways of Godric's Hollow and immediately began to make his way towards the cemetery. Something he hadn't mustered up the courage to do when the Battle of Hogwarts had ended, and he didn't want to risk going when all hell broke loose here when Ginny was taken by false Aurors over a month ago. He hadn't visited since Christmas Eve last year, and even that was a quick affair given the fact that they were on the run, and disguised. At least now, he could afford a little extra time with them. He desperately needed somewhere to clear his head, and he felt like he needed to talk to them again. Harry walked towards St. Jerome's Church, and once he entered the side gates to the cemetery, he noticed some of the granite headstones were damaged. Harry had concluded that some were damaged in the last battle, and no one had bothered to come here to repair them.

As he approached the headstone of his parents, he was heartbroken to find that theirs were one of the headstones damaged. He saw their white marble headstone lay in crumbled pieces scattered around the grass. This one appeared to be the most damaged, and Harry had the sickening feeling that it was purposely targeted. As he fell to the grass before it, he raised his wand and began to mend it with the _Repairo_ Charm. Slowly, the pieces of the stone began to melt back together, restoring it as it once was.

_'The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.'_

Harry sat back cross-legged on the grass, glancing over the inscription he had read once before. It was almost bittersweet to be here now, after everything that unfolded this year, because that was quite literally what he did only three months ago. Since reading this inscription with Hermione, never in his wildest dreams did he ever expect to take this to heart. He had already confronted death. Willingly. On that night he confronted Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest, during his final walk to his end. Or what he thought was the end. To be here now just seemed a little too unbelievable.

"Mum. Dad, " Harry lowered his head respectfully, twirling his wand nervously within his hands, as he stared blankly at the newly-repaired headstone, "I wanted to say how grateful I was to have you with me in the Forest that night. Although, I _wish_ you were here now…I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do…I'm feeling a little lost - " Harry paused to close his eyes, wishing he had some kind of response. But none came, not even a sign. He opened his eyes again, and sighed, " - I wish we had more time. I hear so much about you both from other people who have spent time with you, and I can't help but feel a little envious…I wish I got to know you both in person. I just…I can't do this…W-what do I do now?"

Harry paused to compose himself, as he reveled in the peaceful tranquillity of the space around him. The only sound he could hear was the soft chirping of the small birds in the trees hanging over the headstones, "…Dad, I know you're probably screaming at me from the ether, but really, it's okay. You're both probably worried about me, but…I hope you both know what's been happening. You know… _everything_. You probably don't approve of me spending time with Severus, but…He's looked out for me all this time. I suppose you're both as shocked as I was. I know you all never got along, and there was never any chance of settling aside your differences…Things would have been so much different if you did. But it's all in the past, I know, and we can't change that. I just don't want the mistakes to repeat themselves, and I hope you can understand why I wanted to finally settle this with him and do the _right_ thing. I guess I'll never know if you'd ever forgive him, but…I do now. But, we won, and Voldemort is gone for good this time. And…I just _really_ wish you were here. It's been seventeen years without you, and it hurts even more than the last. "

Harry shifted his body and leaned against the headstone for some measure of closeness with his parents. It was agony to resist using the Resurrection Stone still in his possession, but as Severus had mentioned, it was not a good idea. There was a reason it was a highly addictive object, and people would become mad with the sheer longing of a loved one. Much like the long-term effects of the Mirror of Erised – He had to learn to live without it, as painful as it was.

Losing his parents never got any easier. He just had to learn how to keep on living.

* * *

"Potter, I have an idea, and whether you agree to it or not, I'm doing it."

Harry had returned from Godric's Hollow a few hours later, to the Slytherin requesting a plan of attack as soon as he entered through the front door. The Gryffindor sighed, not particularly wanting to hear what Draco had to say, but regardless of how he felt after visiting his parents, he followed the other teenager to the sitting room to try and deal with the next potential problem. Draco casually slumped on the couch, as Harry remained standing, making his way towards the perch where his new owl was preening its feathered wings. Harry reached out to pet the owl, as the bird leaned into his touch. Besides the owl, was a letter with a scarlet blob of wax of a golden engraving adorned with the Ministry seal stamped on its opening. He stared at the envelope but decided to open it a little later in private.

Without looking at Draco, Harry answered a little too dully, "What did you have in mind?"

"So – " Draco cracked his knuckles, " – I was thinking we find a way to lure and capture a Death Eater and interrogate the crap out of him. "

Harry turned sharply around to face the Slytherin, "… _What_?"

Draco raised his eyebrow, "I see that caught your attention."

"You _must_ be joking."

Draco gave a dry chuckle, "Hell no, I'm not. The next opportunity I get, I'm going to capture one of the cretins and see what information we can get out of them. Once I deem them useless, I'll send him directly to the Ministry and move onto the next one. We haven't tried that yet."

"How?! Are you planning on using Veritaserum?"

Draco crossed his arms over his chest, "Not unless you have any conveniently lying around. But no, I was thinking we get Severus to use Legilimency on the poor sod."

"No, we don't have _any_ Veritaserum – " Harry shook his head, "- That plan has danger written all over it. You know they never operate alone."

" _Obviously_ – I was one of them. Besides, like you've never given a damn about danger before, Potter. Come _on_ , it's not a bad plan. What are you now, suddenly law-abiding? Oh, _please_."

Harry hesitated, "Yeah, but _none_ of them have resurfaced since the incident at Hogsmeade, in which they disappeared before anyone could get to them. You're boldly assuming we'll able to predict the next attack."

"I _know_ that, but you're missing the point, " Draco sat up straight in his seat, as his expression turned serious, "We play _their_ game. Focus on capture to interrogate, rather than render them unconscious and send them safely on their merry way to Azkaban. We have a chance, here."

"Severus won't approve, " Harry responded grimly.

"So? He _doesn't_ have to know. We do this our way – or _my_ way, rather. Maybe I can draw them out, and pretend to take their offer – "

" - No! That's… _Hell_ no, they'll kill you on the spot! We find a _better_ way, " Harry exclaimed.

" _What_ better way, Potter? If you prefer to sit here moping around in self-pity, then go right ahead. Meanwhile, I want to make the next move, because we can't wait around for them to make theirs."

Harry gritted his teeth, not particularly supportive of this plan, but admittedly, it could provide them with the information they needed. It was incredibly risky, but if it were successful, they could move a step ahead. "We _have_ to be careful. Although your _pretend_ offer won't go down well because they'll expect to be ambushed. You _refused_ their offer – what makes you think they'll accept your word this time? They don't trust you any more than they trust me."

"I haven't thought that far yet, " Draco looked displeased, "I don't exactly have a concrete plan for kidnapping an old colleague."

Harry sighed, "If you mess this up, they'll _know_ you're working with us. You have the element of surprise."

"I _could_ re-approach Blaise. He still has contact with the others, so maybe I can get him to relay a message."

"Bad idea. _Again_ , he'll know."

"Well, do _you_ have any more _bright_ ideas, oh _Chosen_ One?" Draco curled his lip.

"Not particularly, no. They'll attack again, and this time, we'll catch _them_ off guard, " Harry paused for a moment, "Although, they are still disguising themselves as Aurors in order to get in and out of public areas undetected, right? What if one of us disguises ourselves as an Auror as bait? From what we've seen, they catch them off guard and drag them somewhere else in order to take a hair sample and kill them, taking their place. Hermione says she has a small amount of Polyjuice potion left."

Draco nodded as he ran his hand through his platinum blonde hair, in interest, "Hmm. _Could_ work. I suppose we only need _one_ of us as a disguise – " The Slytherin suddenly chuckled, " - And the only way to do that is to do the exact same thing the Death Eaters have been doing. _Very_ cunning of you, Potter."

"Well, that wasn't really my intention, but how else are we going to do it?"

"No way we are going to get anywhere without a little risk, " Draco smirked, "I'll leave tonight, and scout Hogsmeade again. We need to know what Aurors are around, and what their rotations are."

"You're _not_ going by yourself, Malfoy."

"I'm better under the radar than you, Potter, therefore I'll let _you_ know what I find out. Even with that _stupid_ Cloak of yours, you don't exactly make the effort to better conceal yourself. Do you have the Polyjuice potion with you?"

Harry shook his head, looking uneasy, "No, Hermione has it. She'll question me about it if I ask her for it."

"It's best the famous crime-fighting squad _wasn't_ made aware of what we are about to do."

"I can't _not_ tell them, Malfoy, " Harry frowned, getting rather annoyed, "They _need_ to know. Besides, what if this plan goes sideways? We might need the backup."

Draco curled his lip, "You and your bloody self-righteous Gryffindors. You can't manage _one_ thing without them, can you?"

"You don't have to be such a _prat_ , Malfoy. Just because your pathetic henchmen decided to abandon ship, doesn't mean my friends should, " Harry snapped, "We are going to discuss this plan _with_ Hermione and Ron, and figure out the details from there. In the meantime, we both go together tonight, scope the place out _quickly_ , and see what we are dealing with. Then we decide on our next plan. If for some reason you decide to do something that will risk our lives, then you better find somewhere else to crash and I don't care what Severus says about that. We need to work _together_ , alright?"

" _Whatever_. You'll thank me when we get answers."

"We'll leave later. In the meantime, try not to be an ass, " Harry narrowed his eyes, as he made his way out of the door, hearing a loud squark from his owl, and Draco's remark of ' _Bloody bird'_ , allowing the Slytherin's voice to disappear as he ascended the stairs. Once it was quiet enough, Harry slowly began to open the envelope still clasped within his hand, and scanned the neatly written contents:

_Addressed to Mr. Severus Tobias Snape,_

_As per discussion, the Ministry would like to provide you with the allocation of the details of your trial to further assess your crimes as Death Eater, and your war efforts against Tom Marvolo Riddle (alt. Voldemort) accordingly. As discussed with the Minister, it had been decided that Mr. Snape is to be detained and withheld in the temporary holding chambers in the duration of the trial to prevent any possible tampering with the subject and the allocated witnesses. A designated Healer will attend to any medical needs as required during temporary detainment. Once concluded and results are sufficient, his destination will then be decided._

_Mr. Snape's wand will be confiscated in the duration of the trial and will only be returned if the charges are successfully cleared._

_The details of the trial are below:_

**_Ministry of Magic - Wednesday 9th August, 9 am – Level 10 - Courtroom Ten_ **

**_Please arrive 30 minutes prior to commencement, for pre-registration of wand and further details_ **

_Signed,_

_Kingsley Shacklebolt – Minister of Magic_

_Griselda Marchbanks – Senior Undersecretary to the Minister_

_Elphias Doge – Chief Warlock_

_Gawain Robards – Head of Magical Law Enforcement_

Harry clutched the letter tightly in his hand, re-reading the letter several times over. The date was just over a week from today, and suddenly, the reality of the situation hit him severely. This is it. This is the trial that will determine Severus' freedom, and hopefully, clear him of the charges of a past that would forever consume his life. He knew it was a shot in the dark, but Harry was more than willing to exhaust every power possible to free this man, whether Severus would survive or not. He wanted his name to be known as the man who risked everything in the face of the enemy.

On his way up the stairs, Harry heard a sharp clang of metal that sounded like a goblet falling upon the wooden floor. Making haste, Harry entered Severus' room to find that water had begun to pool beside the bed, with the fallen silver goblet. Severus growled in frustration with himself, as he attempted to lean over the bed to retrieve it.

"I've got it, it's fine – " Harry retrieved his wand, and cleared up the mess, picking the goblet up as he did so. He placed the cup on the bedside table and proceeded to use a water charm to fill it up. Harry assisted Severus to sit up in his bed and steadied the goblet as the man took a few shaky sips. Severus was definitely having an off-day today, which were usually resulting in almost no energy for even the simplest of tasks. Harry knew that there were some days he'd have a little more energy, but those days were becoming far rarer now. Harry helped Severus to lean further forward and stashed another pillow behind the man's back in order to keep him elevated enough to help ease his breathing and keep him comfortable. Harry hated to see him like this.

Severus steadied himself for a moment, wiping off droplets of water from his lightly stubbled chin. He tilted his head slightly to peer at the envelope still clasped in Harry's hand, "…What's in your hand?"

Harry grimly passed the letter to Severus, who opened it up immediately, "It's the date for your trial. Just over a week from now."

Severus focused his attention on the letter as he skimmed through the words, with a subtle nod on occasion. It was difficult to tell what the man was thinking, but all Harry knew, is that he tried hard not to show any ounce of concern. His expression was blank, "A joyous occasion. Perhaps, better late than never." He slid the letter back within the envelope and reached over to place it on the potion-laden table beside him, giving a heaved sigh as he did so. Harry noticed that he clutched a slightly blood-stained cloth in his hand, due to his occasional coughing fits.

Making a quick decision, Harry wandered to the chair stationed by the bed. Due to Draco's urge to rearrange the room the other day, it worked rather well, "I suppose they moved it as early as they could. Unfortunately, it's a little more than a week before the next full moon."

"Yes, so it seems, " Severus winced slightly as soon as he moved his neck in his desperate bid for further comfort. He glanced over at Harry with a raised eyebrow, "So…Have you named your owl yet? Or is it doomed to forever be called ' _owl'_?"

"Oh, um…" Harry frowned in thought, and all day he'd been pondering on possible names for the new creature. He straightened up in his chair, and the more he thought of the name, the more he felt confident about his choice, "…Godric."

Severus looked at Harry like he'd finally lost his marbles, "… _Very_ Potter of you. "

Harry couldn't help but smirk, "Well, I can't give it a mundane name, now could I?"

"Here I thought it would be Hedwig the Second."

Harry chuckled lightly to himself, "Well, no. I settled on Godric, for several reasons. Apart from the obvious Godric Gryffindor, it was also _his_ sword that we used to destroy Horcrux's. But it also stands for Godric's _Hollow_ , where I was born, and where my parents died and were laid to rest. Plus, I like the name Godric, all bias aside."

"Well, Salazar couldn't possibly be an option, " Severus smirked lightly, "Pity."

Harry drew in a sharp inhale, "So…I visited my parents today. I hadn't visited their graves since Christmas Eve, so it was a little well overdue. It wasn't safe to go last time."

"Ah, " Severus' tone was soft, as he paused comfortably for a few moments, "Harry…once this is over, whichever way it goes, I will accompany you next _if_ you are still willing to allow me there."

"You changed your mind?" Harry couldn't help but smile at the idea, "That'll be wonderful, sir. "

Severus gave a satisfied nod, as his eyes gleamed with assurance, "I do not do well with promises, therefore I will not make one, but I will do my best to see to it. When I don't feel like Death himself."

"I won't say no to that, " Harry looked over at the bedside table at the potions supply, before rising up from his chair, "Are you running out of anything, Severus?"

Turning his head to the table, Severus exasperatingly observed the mess of vials he had prepared, "A little low on the stronger pain relievers, but that particular supply should get me through until tomorrow _evening_. Might have to strengthen the next batch with an extra one-third of a teaspoon of dried valerian root, with an extra _crushed_ sopophorous bean. Ask Draco to assist you - He knows what to do. If he complains about it, tell him to see me."

"Okay. I'll get right onto that, " Harry glanced helplessly at Severus, "Would you like me to send up anything for you to eat? I've barely seen you have anything in the last few days."

Severus gave a heaved sigh, wearily looking upon Harry's concerned face, "A mere waste. Food no longer stays within my stomach long enough to be of any nutritional value. I can barely keep down the vitamin-rich potions, and as you can see, fluids are starting to become a problem."

Harry couldn't help but bite his lip, nodding wordlessly. He walked back towards the door and lingered for a few moments between turning back to the ill man lying in the bed. He reached inside his pocket to retrieve the DA coin, and held it up, "Don't hesitate to use the coin, okay? I'll be downstairs if you need."

Without another word, Harry left the room, closing the door gently behind him. As requested, Harry began to work on the next batch of potions, eventually and begrudgingly, asking Draco for help. He figured this was enough to kill some time before their quick venture that night. Harry did feel a little uneasy leaving Severus alone for a short while, but he knew the man usually took one of the stronger analgesics before bed, which usually rendered him drowsy and asleep soon after. Harry was only comfortable if Severus was, and he was going to do his best not to be away for so long. He didn't exactly trust Draco taking the risk by himself, and even though he was still a capable wizard, the idea of leaving him to his own devices had Harry feeling uneasy with the idea. He figured he'd much rather get the task over and done with so that they were able to discuss the next plan once they had an idea of what they were up against.

Despite Harry's protests, he knew Draco was right in making the first move. They could not afford to waste any more time.

Once Harry delivered the next batch of potions a few hours later, he made sure that Severus was comfortable enough, and had what he needed. He felt a little horrible, but it was the choice he had to make at the time. Severus had the coin and knew how to use it, so at least there was a way to contact him if needed. However, Severus had no idea that the two of them would venture out, and Harry was sure to keep it that way. Severus was able to tolerate several hours on his own, so he wasn't fully reliant on the teenagers as of yet. Although weakening by the day, he was still able to do certain tasks by himself. Severus was prideful, yet stubborn and would never ask for help until it was absolutely necessary, and Harry respected that. McGonagall was also right about that.

As soon as the dark of the evening settled in, Harry held onto the Invisibility Cloak as he met with Draco at the entrance hallway ready to depart. The Slytherin was already waiting, sporting his quite sophisticated black suit – one Harry has seen him wear on several occasions – clutching his wand eagerly within his hand.

"About time, Potter, " Draco huffed, as he departed through the front doors first, with Harry trailing closely behind.

Once the pair reached the small, enclosed park across the street, they Disapparated away, reappearing along the tree line of the Forest bordering Hogsmeade. The crescent moon was slowly rising from behind the clouds, as the stars above glittered across the darkened summer night sky. Harry and Draco crouched down, making their way between the shadow of the trees whilst keeping themselves as hidden as they could. Once Draco found a spot between the dense mass of twisted roots, they were able to find a clear view of Main Street, enabling them to keep an eye out for any wandering individuals. Harry threw the Invisibility Cloak over himself, allowing at least one of them to remain hidden as they waited.

It was just past eleven at night, as the place was as dark and desolate as Harry expected it to be. Hogsmeade was the largest complete wizarding community in Britain, so it the likelihood of danger threatening the other wizarding families in its vicinity was high. Harry peered around from their view and spotted a few Aurors making slow laps around and through the Hogsmeade cobblestone streets. Neither of them looked suspicious, but Harry still had difficulty trusting them completely. Harry and Draco sat in silence for almost an hour, feeling more uncomfortable the longer they waited. As they watched, they saw an older male Auror wander through the pathway of a small garden, with his wand at the ready.

Harry, upon that amusing thought, found their task rather boring and was somewhat glad to have declined the offer to become an Auror himself. It definitely didn't seem as glamorous as one would expect, as opposed to the boring guard duty that was also required of them. He couldn't help but picture Ron standing idly by, complaining about lack of action. To think Harry spent so much time aspiring to be an Auror, since defeating Voldemort himself, he decided he didn't want to spend the rest of his life chasing dark wizards. He was already doing that now, and he wasn't even a qualified Auror. Sending and coordinating a teenage rebellion team as a united front was enough of a task to dedicate himself to. There was no way he was willing to keep doing this for the next several years.

At the corner of Harry's eye, he looked over to his right to find movement at the far side of the tree line, on the east side of the village. It was quite a distance away, but despite Harry's poor eyesight, he noticed three figures obscured behind a row of thick oak trees. Harry nudged Draco lightly with his elbow, whispering to the Slytherin as to what he could see. After watching Draco strain his own eyesight, he nodded in understanding. Death Eaters were prowling the borders, likely waiting for the opportunity to attack an Auror. He wondered how often they performed this task. They appeared far too confident for it to be the first plan of attack.

Almost as if he were reading his mind, Draco whispered back, "They've been doing this every day this week. Usually the norm for upcoming attacks. They plan based on repetition, like this idiot Auror who probably does the same thing every bloody night."

_Well, there's that question answered._

Draco began to move slowly along the tree line, crouched down as low as he could, as he edged closer towards the Death Eaters. Harry whispered harshly in protest, but the Slytherin chose not to listen. Grumbling under his own breath, Harry followed Draco in an awkward crouching position behind him. The pair was slow, as to be careful in not rustling the dry leaves too dangerously under their feet. Once they got closer, they ducked behind a hedge, watching the enemies closely. As they watched, one of the Death Eaters ventured in the opposite direction, leaving their line of sight entirely. Another Death Eater remained in their position, while the third one slowly made their way towards their direction. Slightly alarmed, Harry nudged the Slytherin again a little more harshly, but Draco shot back at him to be quiet, raising his wand at the ready. Harry had to remind himself that he was under the Cloak, so instead, he decided to move slightly away from Draco just in case things decided to go awry. _He_ had the element of surprise, so he needed to be methodical about this.

He could practically imagine Severus whispering harshly for them to ' _Fall back_!'

Harry was not expecting any type of pursuit, which had him immediately concerned, but it was obvious to him that Draco was not going to let this opportunity slip, despite Harry repeatedly telling him not to do anything stupid. Harry watched as Draco pressed on forward, ready to ambush the Death Eater slowly making their way towards them. With a sudden flick of his wand, Draco cast what appeared to be a Silencing Charm at the enemy, causing their lips to immediately seal itself shut. The hooded Death Eater – absent of mask – looked around him in horror at the sudden attack, unable to usher a word. But before he could raise his wand in defense, Harry cast a non-verbal Disarming Spell, as he watched their wand fly out from their hand, and into the bushes away from him. Taking that opportunity, Harry and Draco made their way towards them, as Draco cast the Incarcerous Charm, enabling wild ropes to fly out from his wand, encasing the enemy helplessly as they fell to the floor.

The _THUD_ from their fall alone was enough to send Harry on high alert, wincing at the sound it made. He tried to search the clearing for the fallen wand, but with no luck.

"Okay, now what? We didn't exactly plan this – " Harry spoke in an angry hushed whisper at the Slytherin beside him.

"Shh. We take him somewhere – "

" _Where_? We are _not_ taking him to Grimmauld Place. Don't you _bloody_ dare, " Harry frowned, furiously.

"No, I _wasn't_ going to – " Draco paused in thought, "Lets' – "

A jet of blue light suddenly flew over their heads, as one of the other Death Eaters closer to their position happened to spot them, casting an assortment of hexes to where they were crouched. Draco ducked further to the ground, as another jet of yellow light exploded at the tree beside him. Everything seemed to escalate too quickly for Harry to register because suddenly the Aurors began to run over to the tree line. Harry watched as one of the Aurors fired a spell at one of the hidden Death Eaters, who now appeared to become locked in a dangerous duel at the far side.

"Malfoy, you idiot!" Harry growled, "You gave us away!"

Still clutching the Cloak like a lifeline around him, Harry began to fire spells at the other Death Eater who began to run over to the pair in an attempt to rescue their fallen comrade. Draco pursued ahead, firing whatever non-verbal spells he could muster in order to bring the other Death Eater down. Harry had to make a quick choice, so he abandoned the fallen Death Eater and went after Draco. The enemy they disarmed was still struggling with their magical bindings, so there was still time to get back to them. In the meantime, Harry was already furious with Draco running off.

Harry fired another Disarming Spell at the other hooded Death Eater, but it missed terribly as the jet of red light soared over his head past the target. Running ahead, he raised his wand again, this time doing his best to fire off a Freeze Charm. He tried this non-verbally for the first time and was able to summon a sizeable spinning sphere of ice, and wildly flung his wand arm, watching as it was hurled into the air, exploding at the enemy's feet. It caught them off guard, enabling the other Auror to discover their location to pursue them. Satisfied with the mild distraction, Harry pulled roughly on Draco's sleeve, pulling him to the side as soon as he felt an unnatural chill in the summer night's breeze.

" _Stop_ , Malfoy!" Harry snapped at the Slytherin.

" _What_?!"

Harry glanced up in horror to find two Dementors swooping in on their location, "Dementors are here! They've summoned them – We have to leave _now_!"

"Let's go back for the other one before we leave – " Draco turned on his heel to look behind him to find that their previously incapacitated Death Eater was missing, " – No! They're gone! We lost them - "

"- This was a mistake, we have to get out of here, " Harry brandished his wand, without removing his gaze from the incoming grim-like reapers above, " _Expecto patronum_!" The bright silvery stag bounded from the tip of his wand, and cantered towards the Dementors, fighting them off in its magnificent harsh light. As Harry heard the shrieks from the Dementors above, he saw several more Death Eaters appearing to the aid of their comrades. Not too far from them, he watched as two Aurors engaged with a Death Eater, with the other Auror barely able to disarm the other. Draco could not take his eyes off the Dementors above, and Harry had to pull on his sleeve yet again to redirect his attention elsewhere.

Suddenly Harry felt something hit him sharply in the back, causing him to immediately topple over and crash head-first onto the forest floor, his head inches away from smashing against a rock. In his obscured vision, he saw Draco move past him, immediately attacking their unknown assailant behind them. Harry's body was seared with agony as he tried to push himself up off the forest floor, but it was no use. He felt something wet trail down his back, soaking into his shirt feeling the absolute dread that it was blood. Harry had stupidly shrugged off the Cloak earlier for him to cast his Patronus, but someone else must have seen that and took that opportunity once Harry's location was discovered. A few more enemies must have been summoned and joined the fight, once the other Death Eaters realised their position was compromised.

He heard quick footsteps again, finally seeing Draco drop down beside him, "Bloody hell, Potter."

"They attacked us from behind…What the hell did they hit me with…?" Harry's voice struggled through shooting pain radiating from a section of his back.

"Hold still."

" _What_ they hit me with?" Harry repeated.

"A-an arrow…I _said_ hold still – " Draco seemed to hesitate, " _Stop_ wriggling, Potter!"

"Just…not here. Get me out of here, first. Now's not the time to even be _thinking_. Apparate us out of here. The Aurors will handle the rest. Hurry, before they come back for us."

Harry felt a firm grim clasp over his forearm, as he immediately felt the world swim around him before his eyes, before landing him back into the park by Grimmauld Place. Draco tried to heave Harry back onto his feet, as they both struggled back across the street and through the front doors of Grimmauld Place. Draco had to half-drag Harry down the corridor, making far too much noise as intended, thumping across the wooden floorboards. Harry grimaced in pain, as he did his best to climb the stairs until they eventually landed back in the sitting room. Harry felt further blood stream down his back, as he finally slumped to the floor over the sofa he could barely make it to. He heard Draco cursing himself, until a sudden thundering of the floorboards and stairs above.

_Oh, no._

Harry spun his head around to Draco, and both exchanged horrified glances as soon enough, Severus stumbled into the room looking panicked and disheveled. His face was as pale as he had remembered earlier, and yet the man's cheeks were mildly flushed with a slight crimson tinge. He wasn't sure if was due to the illness taking over him, but all he saw was the man's face twisted in rage; teeth-baring and breathing heavily. The man's eyes flashed in pure anger at the sight of both teenagers and the post-battle state they were in.

"We can explain – " Draco responded immediately.

" – _Oh,_ I will hold you to that…" Severus bellowed as much as his hoarse voice could tolerate, as his eyes widened at the sight of the arrow protruding from Harry's back. He stumbled towards the fallen Gryffindor and knelt – or rather collapsed - immediately by his side. With bared teeth, he shot a disappointed look towards his Godson, "Help me get him onto the couch. _NOW_ \- " Harry yelped in a surge of pain as both Slytherins hauled him onto the couch, laying him on his abdomen, " _What_ in Merlin's name were you both _doing_?!"

Draco stuttered, not knowing what to say, "We were only meant to observe. We – "

"- YOU did. I told you that it was a…bad idea. You didn't listen to me!" Harry grimaced in pain.

" _Fine_ , I went after a Death Eater because I wanted to capture one."

Severus' was absolutely livid, " _Capture_ one? Are you _barking_ mad, Draco?! Both of you! I supposed you ran in there without an inkling of a plan?"

"We were only supposed to…scout the area and leave…That was it….Malfoy thought it would have been a _wonderful_ idea to get a…step ahead, " Harry's breaths were heavy, as he tried to speak through the sharp pain in his back, "They summoned Dementors…I held them off…but other Death Eaters were appearing so we…made our exit."

Severus still looked furious, "Why would you _both_ risk your lives like that? Foolish. _Absolutely_ foolish of you!" The older Slytherin turned sharply to Draco, "Run upstairs to my quarters and obtain the antiseptic solution, a blood replenishing potion, and a Wiggenweld potion – Now, _quickly_ , Draco!" Draco didn't waste any time until he bolted out of the room once he received those instructions.

Harry gasped again in pain, as he felt Severus carefully peel away at the shreds of his shirt around the wound, "We didn't plan on being there long…It went sideways very quickly."

"I _hadn't_ noticed, " Severus curled his lip, still seething with anger, "You cannot go and _risk_ yourselves like that, Harry. Opportunity, or not, that was _extremely_ reckless behavior."

"I'm sorry. I know, we messed up – " Harry drew in an uncomfortable breath, as he recoiled sharply from Severus touching the arrow, "Yell at me later – How bad is it?"

"The arrow-tip is completely embedded into your skin and will take some time to carefully remove."

"Fantastic, " Harry grumbled, "Can't you just, vanish it, or something?"

"I cannot vanish what I cannot see, Harry. I can easily remove the steel rod; however, the arrow-tip is concealed, " Severus sighed, "With some manipulation, I can pry it out."

Harry exhaled sharply, " _Great_."

Harry could hear heavy footsteps as Draco bounded back into the room, with a handful of supplies. Severus immediately retrieved the antiseptic, as poured it lightly around the wound, causing Harry to shudder under the hot pain surging through this body, as the liquid seeped painfully around the wound. Harry did his best not to yell out, as he clasped the sides of the sofa, turning his head away shamefully from the Slytherins.

"Now Draco, listen _carefully_ to my instructions, " Severus retrieved two small pocketknives from the concealed hilt at his belt. Harry had never seen the before and frowned at the idea, but he soon realised that it made sense for a man dedicated to potion-making, to carry a tool that would help him obtain certain ingredients. He was like a walking potions dispensary. Severus handed one of the blades to Draco, "It is not ideal for me to attempt even the simplest of charms as my magic is fading, so I leave that task to you when I ask of it, Draco. Activate a fire charm and heat the blade immediately. "

Harry's eyes widened, "Seriously? No, no, no. There isn't another way?"

" _No_ , Harry, there isn't. The tip must be carefully extracted. I can't just _forcefully_ tear it away. Just…hold _still_ , " Severus spoke firmly, and Harry knew better not to further argue with that. Through a haze of pain, Severus was communicating further instructions to his Godson, and soon enough, Harry felt a comforting hand on his shoulder in reassurance considering how anxious he was about the entire thing and the fact that he was unable to see what they were doing. It was likely for the best, but he just wanted this over and done with. Harry scrunched up his fist, as he felt a cloth move across his back in an attempt to clear the area of the blood seeping from the wound.

Harry barely gave himself time to compose himself when he felt a cold blade dig into his skin, in an attempt to scoop out the arrow-tip. Harry continued to bawl his fist, nails digging deep into his skin, as his body shuddered, feeling a new hot wave of pain ripple across his skin.

"Keep still, Harry – " Severus was patient and careful. The pain was closely matched to the Cruciatus Curse, and Harry had wished they would have just knocked him out instead. Although it took a little longer than Harry wanted it to, he was able to finally pry out the embedded piece and remove it completely. Then as quickly as it happened, he felt the second hot blade sear over the wound, causing Harry to yell out in pain that time, and that time he could not hold it in. A few agonising minutes had passed, and Severus was able to successfully cauterize the wound to stop the bleeding and prevent any further infection that may occur. He felt a strange sensation, as Draco ushered an incantation, as the now-cleaned wound began to slowly knit itself up. Severus withdrew a small jar within the pocket of his robes and began to gently lather it over the new scarring now evident on his back. Once Severus was finished, Harry tried to sit himself up, but a firm hand held him down.

" _Wait_ a few moments, then when you are ready, you can sit up, " Severus held up the two potions vials for him to take, "Take these once you do. Use _every_ drop."

Nodding gratefully, Harry gently clasped the two vials and allowed himself a few moments to gather his thoughts. His mind felt hazy after this ordeal, and he wanted nothing more than to climb into his bed and sleep for the next few days. "Thank you."

Severus managed to climb back onto his feet and stumbled over to the adjacent lounge with a heaved sigh and he collapsed on top of it. He clasped his hands tightly together, "You both may have created further problems."

"If anything, we _stopped_ them from taking another Auror, " Draco crossed his arms and sat down on the other seat.

"Not necessarily, " Severus looked frustrated, as he ran his slender hand over his pale face, "How many Aurors were there before you left?"

Draco scrunched up his face, "I dunno. Three or four."

"And how many Death Eaters?"

"I didn't count, but more kept on appearing. That's why we left. Well, apart from Potter getting impaled – "

"- In no way is this _amusing_ , Draco!" Severus shot the younger Slytherin a venomous glare, "Those Aurors would _not_ have been able to hold them all off. I fear they have been overpowered."

Harry managed to push himself up from his torso and flipped onto his back. He shuffled slightly upright in his bid to down the two potions handed it to him, "Wait…What are you implying?"

The older Slytherin turned sourly at Harry, "The _unintentional_ sabotage may cause them to further retaliate. You _cannot_ intervene, and not expect consequence. From the enthralling tale you've both spun in my direction, those Aurors were vastly outnumbered. And Dementors? Those Aurors had not nearly as much firepower as they anticipated."

"The Death Eaters had the upper hand?"

"Give me a good reason why they wouldn't have?"

Harry hesitated, feeling utterly stupid with himself, "And we messed it up. I knew it was a bad idea. Malfoy, you _should_ have lay low like we were supposed to."

"Hey, _you_ agreed to tag along!" Draco spat, "Don't blame this all on me!"

Harry threw his hands up in the air, "Yeah, tag along, _not_ engage. Bloody hell. You're lucky I was able to conjure my Patronus, otherwise, we'd end up far worse than just a damn arrow in my back!"

Severus shook his head, absolutely aghast at the poor decisions made by the teenagers. The look of disappointment on his face, however, struck Harry a little too deeply. He didn't want the man to be disappointed in him, and yet, he was. He looked more than stressed out, and any more anger-fuelled breaths would likely cause him to topple over from the build-up of the strain. The man was already running on empty.

"Enough! _Both_ of you!" The two teenagers sat in silence, seething at each other from across the room, as Severus pinched the bridge of his nose in his attempt to diffuse the situation. "Now listen carefully. If I'm correct in my judgment – and I usually am – then I believe they will attack Hogsmeade, likely tomorrow. If our enemies have been frequenting that location recently, then they have already begun planning another attack. That much is obvious. Now with this... _mishap_ …They will likely push their plan forward. Especially if they have indeed defeated the Aurors in their wake."

"So…What do you suggest we do?" Harry asked, quietly.

Severus glanced at Harry with a gleam of defiance in his eyes, " _Beat_ them to it. Round up your DA. Make sure each member knows the spell to _eliminate_ toxic fumes and protect themselves from it because it is _foolish_ to presume that they will not attempt it on a larger scale this time. Have them ready and _be_ there before _they_ do. You need your numbers – that will give you the upper hand if you catch them off guard. I will be there to oversee."

"No! No _offense_ , sir, but you can _barely_ move around Grimmauld Place on your own, " Harry shook his head, "You're not going back out there."

"For once, I agree with Potter. You're basically a dead man walking at this point. You can barely stand on your own feet, " Draco curled his lip.

Severus shot Draco a sour look, "Thank you for your _thoughtful_ assessment, Draco. " He glanced between both teenagers with equal expression of disapproval, "I will ensure my attendance so that I can be there to observe the plan, provide support and coerce with the enemy. I will use the Cloak, and Draco will accompany me as I do so. While Harry and the DA distract them, then Draco and I can move to a target so I can gain access to their mind."

"You _shouldn't_ be there – " Harry looked at Severus with concern. He hated the idea of Severus going with them because it just wasn't necessary. And now Harry felt guilty because Severus felt like he needed to be there now due to their sideways plan earlier. However, if this plan worked, then all Severus needed was to cast Legilimency on an unsuspecting Death Eater and obtain a visual on the location they've been seeking for weeks. All they needed was _one_ opportunity. That was it. Then they could finally plan their endgame and put a stop to all of this and rescue the others. It was another risk, but with a proper plan, they could make this happen.

But still. He didn't want to see Severus out there.

"Far more reasonable than the two of you gallivanting off into danger unprepared, is it not? Please, do _not_ attempt such a thing again, " Severus spoke sharply, but Harry could see the exhausted worry etched across his face, "It's late – Get some rest. We'll discuss this further in the morning." Severus rose gingerly from his chair, and made his way out of the sitting room, stumbling slightly as he did so, grabbing hold of any available surface he could reach for on his way out in an attempt to keep himself upright.

Harry turned to Draco, " _Go_ with him." Draco didn't protest this time, as he nodded and followed his Godfather as they ascended the old wooden staircase up to their respectable bedrooms.

Harry leaned back into the couch and decided to sleep there as he was too tired to move. The gentle hoots of his newly named owl Godric hooted softly on his perch in the corner of the room. The window was slightly ajar, allowing a welcoming cool breeze to take away the scent of blood and sweat from Harry's dangerous ordeal. This wasn't exactly what Harry had in mind for an evening, but he now understood the risks of blindly pursuing an enemy. Although he was mad at Draco, he was more than annoyed at himself for not doing more.

Eventually, Harry closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep so he was sound enough to face the new set of problems tomorrow.


	50. Only the Heart Knows

* * *

**NOTES:** You'll be getting a lot of Minerva interactions in the next few Chapters! =)

* * *

CHAPTER 50: Only the Heart Knows

The following day, Luna had mailed Harry the latest issue of _The Quibbler_ , which sent him into a new burst of excitement. Harry himself was awoken by the gentle nudges of Godric against his face that morning, causing the Gryffindor to slowly stir awake. He opened his bleary green eyes and reached out to scratch the great horned owl against its feathered chest. After gentle purrs from the creature, the owl hopped over to the table and clawed at the new book scattered across the table.

It was _The Quibbler_.

Harry bolted upright and swung his legs over the edge of the couch he was sleeping on, ignoring the dull ache from his back. The arrow which penetrated his skin yesterday had since been patched up by Severus, but he still felt tingles of pain around where he presumed was now a brand-new scar to add to his collection. Despite that, he reached over to pick up _The Quibbler_ , and began to flip through the articles.

As promised by Luna, she had written an entire piece upon the Battle of Hogwarts, honoring those who lost their lives, and outlining the heroics of those who had survived. Somehow, she had managed to take images of the aftermath, mainly of the crumbling walls of Hogwarts castle upon the battles' conclusion. It wasn't until Harry studied those images did he grasp the true extent of those horrors. Seeing it in the third person now of this new perspective, shocked Harry a little too hard to his core. The photos themselves were not enough to describe the intensity of the destruction and the deaths caused as a result of the attack. It was difficult to think about it again. Harry was getting slightly better at not lingering on those thoughts for too long, but once a memory sprang to mind, it hit him extremely hard and he could not shake them so easily. They were memories that flashed so vividly, even now, and Harry was still having nightmares about it.

It was pain that may never truly leave him.

Harry flipped through Luna's article again, scanning over the article she took delicate care in writing. She was sincere and honest, but not offending. She chose her words carefully, and Harry couldn't help but feel immense pride for his friend for pouring out her heart and soul within these pages. By the sounds of it, it seems she spent a lot of time putting it all together and it was the best way to honor those fallen in such a terrible time.

As he continued past the Hogwarts pages, he finally reached the one which spoke of Severus Snape. Like Luna, Harry and Hermione had spent a lot of time putting together their own article in Severus' defense, with their intentions of telling the wizarding community of Britain about Severus' journey from serving Voldemort briefly, to working with Albus Dumbledore to bring the dark wizard down. Harry had added inserts over three pages, outlining his bravery and willingness to save whatever lives he could, despite the world against him. He forged a hatred against them, in order to move closer to the enemy. He allowed his friends and colleagues to hate him by ending Albus' life in mercy, to protect the soul of a single boy, and ensure his place within the dark ranks in order to continue working against him. Throughout the article was anecdotes from students who had been quietly protected by the ex-Headmaster during his unwanted reign, in his bid to protect the students still under his care, while still maintaining cover. Ginny and Luna added their section in support of Severus, who did not punish them when they attempted to steal from his office. Harry had added his own piece, outlining what he saw in his memories – but being incredibly careful leave out the extremely personal ones – mainly including Severus' plans with Dumbledore. Harry had also explained about Severus remaining silent amidst his interrogation and allowed Voldemort to end his life so that he would not discover the secret that would become the catalyst for Harry's victory. To conclude the article, Harry and Ginny had worked together to also write of his post-war efforts, and his willingness to still protect Harry, and save those who had been taken from them.

Severus may have worked tirelessly to help create a safer world, even though he still didn't believe he was worthy enough to live in it himself.

No matter how many people still hated him for his past, he would ensure they knew of his heroics despite the odds, and without his war efforts, Harry would never have known how to defeat Voldemort. He owed a lot to him, and so did the magical community. To protect the Boy Who Lived, for seven years, was a feat that far surpassed his terrible mistakes, despite the man's deep-rooted animosity towards him over the years. To save Harry's life countless times and watch over him – albeit begrudgingly - was not about to go unnoticed. Severus may still struggle to believe that he was worthy of redemption, but in Harry's eyes, he already was redeemed.

It was convincing the shattered man of that fact, which was the real hurdle.

Harry sat alone in the sitting room, clutching _The Quibbler_ to his chest feeling an odd sense of peace and satisfaction. This was one step in the right direction. Although, he didn't want Severus to know what they had done for him, _just_ yet. He only hoped the remainder of the wizarding community was receptive of this article, and hoped above all else, that they turn away from the rude filth that Rita Skeeter had decided to write.

As soon as Harry felt ready, he departed the comfort of the sitting room to make his way to the floor above to check up on the man himself. Knocking at the door he had done so many countless times already, he waited for a response. He had no idea what time it was, but once he heard no reply, he opened the door slowly. As he peered his head through the door, he saw the sleeping form of Severus on the bed. His breaths struggled upon exertion, and his lungs emitted a sickly crackle with each rise and fall of his chest. Harry walked in, and closed the door behind him, in his bid to gain a closer look. All the blankets had been thrown off into a messy heap onto the floor, as the man's nightshirt was half-open at the chest, likely due to Severus lucid attempts to claw at it. From closer inspection, it was obvious that the man had been sweating that night. Through the partially opened shirt, Harry could see the blackened tendrils of the curse consume one side of the man's thinned abdomen and protruding ribs. At one point, he could have sworn he saw the coils shifting like they were alive.

Harry was repulsed by the sight of it.

He glanced over at the sleeping Slytherin, watching his head move and twitch in short motion. He could only assume he was in deep sleep, possibly having a bad dream. He only wondered if the man had nightmares much as he did. If so, he wasn't about to tell the curious Gryffindor. Harry could only imagine what his nightmares were, and he wondered how different it would be to his own. He wasn't sure if it was wise to wake him up, but he appeared to be in a mild distress. The Gryffindor turned towards the bedside table, picking up a clean cloth, and soaking it into the bowl of water beside it. Harry wrung the cloth as best as he could and turned towards the ill man in the bed. Sitting at the chair beside the bed, Harry began to gently dab the cloth across the man's perspired-covered face. Severus stirred slightly but did not wake, as Harry continued re-soaking the cloth as he went. He observed the man's ragged breaths carefully, wishing there were more that he could do. He doubted that even Madam Pomfrey could do much else for him, that he or Draco wasn't already doing.

Harry hated seeing him like this, as it broke his heart. He already knew Severus hated feeling so vulnerable and weakened as he was, even though he still tried his best to make himself useful. Regardless, it really did hurt Harry to see him in this state. If luck were on their side, and he could beat this curse, then maybe he will feel more like his usual self-assured state. Somewhat, anyway. They've both changed heavily since, so there was no way either of them was going back to their old ways. And strangely enough, he was sure Severus knew that too.

Harry really admired this new change within Severus, and he didn't miss the incredibly cold, ruthless, and often rude Potions Master, sweeping through the dungeons and taking pleasure in frightening his younger students. Although he was still snarky and rude at times, at least he was more mindful of that behavior now. Perhaps he realised that his cruelness did go too far, sometimes. He often wondered if Severus missed deducting unfair points, or dishing out ridiculous detentions – which, come to think of it – were not terrible in the slightest. They were always simple things. Or at least, non-dangerous. He had to be thankful for that, considering Harry was the student who ended up with the most detentions until his watch. That had to be a Hogwarts record for him. Harry couldn't help but smirk to himself at the thought.

Although he had to wonder how different he'd be if he did decide to return to Hogwarts. Oh, he'll still be frightening. Those poor first years. He might not always be forgiving, but maybe now he'll give students a chance to prove themselves without his tendency to judge them too early.

He was sure Severus had learned his lesson now, with Harry.

Severus continued to stir, a little more severely this time. His head shifted around in mild agitation, as he heard a low murmur from him. Maybe he _was_ having a bad dream. He didn't exactly want to force the man awake, as that seemed rather harsh, and didn't particularly want to deal with his sourness. So, Harry continued to press the wet cloth around the man's sullen, marble-white face. He glanced down and realised Severus had torn off the bandages over his left forearm in his nightly distress during sleep. The bandages lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. His sight was a little skewed, but he was able to make out the man's arm when it was twitching and trembling during his slumber. The Dark Mark, still faded, was slightly obscured by the almost healed lacerations painted red across his pale arms during Severus' distraught behavior during the Second Phase. It was sad to know that he went as far as he did, but he honestly couldn't blame him for that. Having to look upon your arm at a permanent Mark that ruined your entire life, was difficult to bear. At least Harry couldn't see his lighting scar. Severus could see his, and he would forever be haunted by the things that Mark symbolized.

There was a low groan from Severus, as he suddenly gasped, jolting himself awake so suddenly. His arms twitched, as he attempted to regain his bearings. His breaths heavy and irregular, but he glanced over at his side to find Harry beside him. Upon Severus' realisation at his new company, he drew in a relieved deep breath, and exhaled, closing his eyes briefly as he did so. Harry continued to press the cloth against the man's forehead, finally halting his task as he observed the man's exhausted face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, " Harry spoke quietly.

"No – I'm _relieved_ you did, " Severus opened his tired eyes once more, regarding Harry's company in gratitude, "How's your back, Harry?"

"Err, fine, sir. A little sore, but I feel okay, " Harry responded with a nod, "Look, I really don't think you should be there tonight. I understand why you want to, but…Me and the DA can handle it. I'm going to summon them for a meeting this afternoon."

"You need me there."

Harry's shoulders slumped heavily, "I wish you could, but we've got this. We'll be extra careful this time. I think Malfoy has learned his lesson."

" – Harry."

"It'll be fine, _really_ , " Harry tried to reassure the man, but the look of dread upon the man's face was difficult to convince otherwise, "I _know_ you're worried."

Severus frowned, "Harry, last night was a risk _neither_ of you should have taken. What if you weren't there to cast a Patronus? Draco cannot summon one – They will _take_ your souls without hesitation or further command."

Harry looked down at the damp cloth clasped tightly within his hand, "I-I know. I will be _extra_ careful tonight. I've learned a lot from you already, but…It's just too risky to have you there…Not like this."

The Slytherin winced at the last few words and released an exasperated sigh. Not directed at Harry, but at himself. Harry could see how visibly upset he was that his abilities were almost useless and that he was too sick to do much at all. For a man that did everything himself, to suddenly relying on a younger Gryffindor to keep him alive when everything turned against him, was enough to make him feel so helpless. Severus knew that he was reaching his limits, and yet he struggled with the idea that there was not much else that he could do. He simply couldn't completely admit that himself.

Severus looked away briefly, stung by his own dilemma. Eventually, once he came to his senses, he turned back to face Harry once more, "…I realise that my condition impedes my ability to be of further use. However, I am proficient with Legilimency _still_ , and I will need to confront one of them to procure an image pertaining to the location we seek."

Harry nodded, " _We'll_ handle that. I'll let the DA know of that, so we don't mess it up like we did yesterday. Just…You need to be _here_ and rest. The trial is next week, and you need to be well enough to sit through it. I can select one of us to stay here, or should I send Madam Pomfrey or Professor McGonagall?"

Severus obviously hated that idea, and he let out a low growl under his breath to prove his point, " _Not_ , Poppy."

"Fine, McGonagall, then?"

Severus shook his head, " _No_ , she has enough to deal with than my miserable self. Hogwarts requires her _full_ attention."

"Well, who would you feel comfortable with, then? You can't be here on your own for that long. Should I bring Molly?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, "Merlin, _no_. She is not aware of my condition, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I'd never be able to get rid of her, otherwise."

Harry threw his hands up in defeat, "Well, it has to be _someone_. I can't be here, and I need Malfoy's help tonight. What about Hannah Abbott? She's aspiring to become a Healer and has been working with Pomfrey since Hogwarts. Or, hell, maybe I can keep Ginny here? I'd much rather have her stay here in safety, to be honest."

Severus continued to shake his head, " _Absolutely_ not. Forget it. I'll manage for a few hours, I'm sure of it. I'm not entirely incapacitated."

Harry couldn't help but glare hopelessly at the man, "McGonagall was right. You _are_ bloody stubborn. And you thought I was bad?"

The Slytherin wasn't sure whether be mad about that or amused, "I see you've been talking about me behind my back. Gryffindor gossip precedes you both. "

"She's just as worried about you, as I am, " Harry responded, feeling annoyed, "You know what, I'm not even going to _ask_ next time. I'll ask Professor McGonagall to stay with you. Next time, it'll be a bloody surprise."

Severus glared sourly at Harry. He was too exhausted to argue with a teenager at this point, and for sanity's sake, he decided to finally give in to defeat much to his dismay. The man ran a hand down his face, "…Your persistence can be rather irritating."

"For your own good, " Harry smirked lightly, "Stay put, otherwise I'll send Godric on guard duty in the meantime. "

Ending that conversation there, Harry was able to glimpse Severus' eye-roll as he left the room. Harry didn't often find himself amusing, but it was for the man's own good. Severus had to seriously consider his own health now, even if that took much persistence from Harry himself. But Professor McGonagall was the best choice, and at least _she_ would be able to keep his behavior in check and ensure that he didn't decide to sneak out of Grimmauld Place in a bid to defy orders from the younger Gryffindor.

Satisfied, Harry left the room and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Soon after departing Severus' room, Harry contacted the DA using his master coin and set up a quick meeting at Grimmauld Place to further discuss the plan at Hogsmeade that night. Later that afternoon, they began to pile into the kitchen of headquarters, leaving Harry at the helm of the meeting. He had to be rather careful and avoid bringing Draco's name up as opposed to their sideways plan the night prior. Harry didn't want to tell, not even Hermione, Ron, and Ginny about his attack, as they knew they'd be going after the Slytherin with torches and pitchforks. As angry as Harry was already with Draco, that confrontation wasn't necessary, and they had bigger problems to deal with. Regardless of that, Harry explained briefly about what was witnessed and asked the others to assist in accompanying him that night.

Once the others had heard Harry's recount, there was a long, unpleasant silence within the room.

"So – who will volunteer to join me? We have good reason to think they'll attack tonight, so regardless, we need to be ready if they do, " Harry explained.

"Wait, so you're not entirely sure?" Ron questioned, "Mate, no offense, but you _basing_ this off a hunch, isn't really a lot to go along with."

"As I said, I went to go check out Hogsmeade last night, and I told you what happened. I saw Death Eaters planning to attack the stationed Aurors, but they were overpowered. I need back up if I'm to go back there again."

Katie Bell looked uneasy, "And you want to risk going back there?"

"Look, if nothing happens then, _great_. We can go home. If we go tonight, we can prevent any possible deaths with this new toxic weapon of theirs."

Harry looked around the room to see Katie burying her head in her hands, and Seamus leaning back in his chair looking completely unconvinced. The Patil twins exchanged glances of dread, whilst Dean looked ready to go home. The expressions amongst his peers were not validating at the least, and he knew he'd have his hands full in his bid to convince them. If he knew they would not be so receptive to the place, Harry wouldn't have been likely to waste his time.

Harry sighed, and leaned over on the table, "I _know_ you guys are tired of this. Do you think I'm overjoyed about this, too? The goal tonight is to stop a possible mass attack and attempt to capture a Death Eater."

"Capture a Death Eater? And do _what_ with him?" Seamus asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Snape needs one of them so he can perform legilimency on them, and then maybe, we might be able to find the others. We have an opportunity, here."

"Why can't _he_ capture one? And what the hell is Legilimency?"

"Legilimency is a branch of magic that enables one to read and interpret the mind of another, " Hermione explained with ease, "With that, he can access the thoughts and memories of the subject at will."

"He can read minds?" Parvati's eyes widened, "This entire time?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah. And block his own with Occlumency. How do you think he fooled Voldemort all this time?"

"No wonder he always seems to _know_ things, " George said, "Makes sense for someone like him, I suppose."

Seamus leaned forward in his chair, resting his arms on the wooden table, "Okay, but why can't _he_ capture one? Why do _we_ have to do it?"

Harry hesitated on the question, "I can't tell you that, Seamus."

Seamus frowned, "Why not? What's wrong with him? "

It took every ounce of willpower to prevent Harry from getting angry at his persistence, " _Forget_ it, Seamus. The point is, we need to capture one. If you guys are going bailout, then I'll go there myself tonight." Seamus curled his lip, clearly not pleased with Harry's evasion at his initial question. They didn't need to know, and he knew Severus wouldn't want them to know those details either. The fewer people privy to that, the better.

"Don't be daft, mate. We're going with you, " Ron interjected, "We'll go check it out, and see what we are dealing with."

Seamus looked absolutely fed-up.

Harry was starting to get frustrated with him, "I just can't have people being half-arsed about it. I hate this too, but guess what? I'm still doing it."

Luna, oblivious to the problem, still smiled, "I'll go with you, Harry."

"Thank you, Luna, " Harry was grateful, but he was still slightly disheartened by the attitudes of the others, "If we are successful, then we can discover the location of the others tonight."

Seamus gave a heavy sigh, causing a few heads to turn his way, " _I'm_ bailing. Sorry Harry, but I think you've become a little too obsessed with this – " A few people in the room shifted uncomfortably in their seats, and Harry had sworn he had heard a small gasp from somewhere else in the room.

" – _What_?!" Harry snapped, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't deny it. I thought after You-Know-Who, you'd stop chasing after dark wizards. I'm all for helping, but this is getting a little too ridiculous. Who knows when one of us is captured next, or dead with our head on pikes? C'mon, Harry. We've had too many close calls already."

" _Chasing_?! _They_ find me! Stop talking out of your arse!" Harry was livid, "You wouldn't be so dismissive if it was someone close to _you_ who was captured and tortured!"

" – Guys, _please_ stop – " Katie's feeble voice tried to intervene, but her voice was overpowered by the two men now arguing.

Seamus stood up from his chair, as it painfully screeched across the floorboards, "I dunno about you, but I'd prefer to live a little longer. I'm not going to waste my time on a _bogus_ plan because something _might_ happen. I want to find them too but picking fights like this is not a part of the deal."

" _Deal_?! You really are thick, Seamus, " Harry glowered venomously at the fellow Gryffindor. He couldn't believe what he was saying, " _Fine_ , go home and mull over your thoughts by the fire without a care in the world, while some of us actually _want_ to make the effort."

"If that's your way of calling me selfish, after _everything_ , then I'm done with you – " Seamus scrunched up his face, equally as angry.

"GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT, THEN!"

"I think I bloody will. Let me know when you actually _do_ make progress."

The rest of the room fell silent, as the tension became incredibly uncomfortable. There wasn't a single other person in the room who wasn't sat dumbfounded in their seats. Even Luna looked shocked, and that was saying something. No, he wasn't about to tolerate Seamus' ridiculous behavior, and he did not care any less if he offended him. Time and time again Seamus would grate on his nerves, and as usual, this wasn't the first time he lashed out at Harry. He was sick of this. What else was Seamus expecting when he joined the DA? Sit around the table playing Exploding Snap and prank candy roulette. If he wanted to bail out, then fine. But Harry was determined to put an end to this, even if that means standing alone.

Without another word, Seamus huffed under his breath and made his exit. After a few uncomfortable exchanged glances from the others, Harry leaned over the table again, face red with anger, staring into nothingness so his attention wasn't focused on anyone in particular. He didn't even want to look at anyone else at that moment, "If the rest of you feel the same as Seamus, then I won't stop you. With or without you, I'm going ahead with this. For those of you that _actually_ want to help, Hermione will teach you the spell to eliminate toxic fumes, just in case. I suggest you brush up on your Bubblehead Charms. "

Clenching his jaw, Harry decided that he was far too irate to continue, so he turned immediately to leave and ventured moodily upstairs to his room, not caring about his abrupt end to the meeting under his leadership. He was hurt, and even a little betrayed. He knew that everyone was still reeling and shattered from the Second War – he _knew_ that. He understood their pain and reluctance to keep fighting now. But Harry genuinely wanted to end all this danger, and the only way he was going to do that was with a little extra help. He hated all of the fighting, too.

He _wasn't_ obsessed.

Harry felt utterly repulsed by that term. For Seamus to think that way about him, was like a kick in the gut.

After an hour passed, Harry faintly heard the slams of the front door. He gathered that the rest of the DA, whoever decided to stay, had finally departed headquarters. Harry didn't even care at this point who decided to remain – it didn't seem to matter much anymore. Pleasing people was the very last thing he was concerned with. Too bad if they didn't agree. If his so-called teammates were going to berate him and lie through their teeth, then he wasn't going to put up with it anymore.

There was a sudden light knock at his half-open door.

"…Harry?"

It was Hermione.

Harry glanced up to find her lingering cautiously at his door with Ron and Ginny by her side – each expression was somber and filled with an odd sadness he did not expect from either of them. Without waiting for a response, Hermione walked over to Harry and sat beside him on the bed, followed by Ginny and Ron. The four of them sat together in silence for a few moments before any of them mustered up the courage to speak again. Harry really didn't know what to say, and as he could tell, neither did they. Now he wasn't sure who he was angrier with – Seamus or himself, for lashing out in that way. So much for the leader he was. He could barely tolerate his own company, and now everything seemed to tumble downhill far too quickly.

For what seemed like an eternity passed, Harry drew in a deep breath, "So…who is joining us tonight?"

Ginny reached for Harry's hand, and held it tenderly between hers, "We are. Dean and Katie volunteered, along with George and Angelina…Dean was rather mad what Seamus said."

"Harry, mate –" Ron started to speak but was instantly cut off.

"- Look, I don't really want to talk about it. I just want to get this over and done with, " Harry responded, who was anxious enough with everything going on and was clearly not in the mood for their pep talk. He had far too much on his mind.

"I know. But _listen_ – They are just worried, with everything happening. It's dangerous. The Death Eaters aren't running scared. They are fighting back, with a vengeance. They are even more ruthless working without their precious master to tell them what to do now."

"What Ron means to say is that they don't want further targets painted on their back. They don't want to pursue the enemy like this, " Hermione explained carefully.

"And you think _I'm_ happy about this?" Harry snapped.

"No, of course not Harry. We're not saying that at all, " Hermione looked uncomfortable, "And I'm in no way supporting what Seamus said, but there is some truth to that -"

"- Well, kind of looks like you are, Hermione. I'm _not_ obsessive over this!"

"I'm _not_ saying that you are. He is more concerned about you putting everyone _else_ at risk – "

Harry gently shrugged Ginny off and suddenly stood up from the bed, slowly pacing his room whilst his friends stared at him in disbelief. He shouldn't be getting so fired up about it, but he was. Why did he feel like the world was always against him? Why couldn't they work together with him on this without questioning his every move? He was beginning to feel like he lost their trust, and it already felt like a fatal blow.

Once Harry felt ready enough to respond, he turned to face the others who appeared enveloped in a strained expression, "I _can't_ do this myself. Surely you can't all be feeling overjoyed and at peace sleeping in your beds at night, knowing that these people are _still_ out there? They are attacking us, still. Am I the only one who sees this as a big problem?"

Ginny looked down at her hands briefly, before looking up at Harry, "We know, Harry. What else are we to do? Frankly, I still don't want to be out there for fear of them taking _me_ again, but I want to put an end to this too."

"Don't be silly, we are not going to let you go tonight on your own, " Hermione stared up at Harry's eyes. She seemed to sense something else bothering Harry, as he quickly averted her gaze, "Harry, what is it? There is something else, isn't there?"

Harry stared hopelessly back at his friends, "…Malfoy seems to think they might attack Hogwarts at the start of the new school year. " There was a collective " _WHAT_ " from the three still sitting on the bed. Their mouths were gaped open, trying to soak in the words that were just spoken. But Harry continued, " We had a discussion yesterday, after what we saw – Yes, Malfoy was with me last night. If the Death Eaters are successful tonight, they may seem more than confident to unleash this thing into the school. Like a test run. Now, do you see the urgency? We _have_ to stop them."

"Malfoy was with you? Are you _mental_?!" Ron exclaimed.

"I suppose that makes sense, " Hermione looked taken aback. She shook her head, "This is horrible – it's not right – Harry, why didn't you tell us at the meeting?"

"During Seamus' usual tirade? He'd probably call me a liar again. Not the bloody first time."

Ron scrunched up his face, "And if he calls you obsessed one more time, I'll punch his _flippin'_ lights out. As with Malfoy, that selfish git."

Harry looked grim, " _Now_ do you see? We just need to capture one of them. Once Severus can do his thing, then we can finally finish this. We can't keep waiting around. We _need_ to do this before Severus is unable to – " His voice trailed off in those last few words.

Ginny stood up and walked toward Harry, taking his hand gently into hers again, "You're not doing this by yourself, alright?"

Hermione and Ron nodded as they rose up.

"I told the others to meet us here about ten o'clock tonight, " Hermione gently reassured.

"Thanks, guys, " Harry was grateful for their input, even though he still felt horrible about it all. There was a gentle squeeze upon his hand, and Harry returned it lovingly to Ginny, feeling her fingers caress through his.

Maybe once this is all over, they can focus on creating proper lives for themselves, all danger finally aside.

* * *

Later that day, Harry had sent word to McGonagall using Godric in request to stay with Severus in the time they needed to leave that night. He really wasn't sure how kindly she'd take to such a request, but given Severus' stubbornness on the matter earlier, he wouldn't allow just anyone to stay. Thus, Harry and Severus came to an agreement to allow the Headmistress to pay the Potions Master a visit, all grumpiness aside while Harry investigates Hogsmeade with the DA. After all, it was only for a few hours. But despite that, Harry seemed to be more worried about her reaction upon their planned departure and was more or less expecting a harsh pep talk from the elderly witch. She responded soon after with her familiar feline Patronus, and barely an hour later, he heard the front door swing open and shut a little forcefully against the winds outside.

"Mr. Potter – "

McGonagall hastily made her way upon the staircase to greet Harry and Severus in his room. She was carrying a large stack of parchment within her hands, along with a small ornate crimson and silver box carrying an inkpot and a large black and gold quill peeking over the gap at the top. As she entered the room, the Slytherin himself was sitting up against the headboard of his bed, flipping dismally through _The Daily Prophet_ , and clasping a mug of lemon-scented tea in his other hand.

Severus looked up in light of his friends' arrival, "Minerva." His voice was slightly hoarse, with a noticeable wheeze upon exertion in a breath.

McGonagall placed her handful of objects on top of Severus' desk, "It'll be nice to work out of the office for a change. The School Board requires additional paperwork. They are infuriatingly persistent."

"I am far from envious."

The Headmistress peered over her glasses and studied the Slytherin's amused expression, "How are you managing today, Severus? Poppy told me it was like dealing with a first-year."

Harry accidentally released a snort, which was quickly silenced by Severus' venomous stare.

Severus folded up the newspaper, and cast it aside, "Yes, well, you try having every inch of you assessed and prodded like a twisted experiment, losing any shred of dignity you have left in the process."

"You _knew_ it had to be done, " McGonagall wandered to the sofa chair beside the bed, "Such assessment from the Primary Healer will support your plea to innocence in the trial."

"…Innocence. I think not, " Severus curled his lip, mockingly, "Don't be ridiculous."

"Severus, _please_. We are trying to help you, " The Headmistress spoke sternly.

"I am not particularly thrilled that my illness has been uncovered to the Ministry, " Severus responded, "It is beyond humiliating."

"Why not?" Harry questioned, stubbornly, "They may even send you to St. Mungo's as detainment, or something, rather than a temporary holding cell. You can be better treated there."

Severus shot Harry a dangerous frown, "I do _not_ wish to be confined in a medical facility. There is simply no need for me to be there."

"No need? You can't be serious?" Harry was bewildered, as he wandered to the foot of the bed, and sat himself down on its edge, "How many times have I found you bleeding out? How many times have you writhed in pain, and not even _potions_ can keep it at bay anymore? How many times have you coughed up blood, thrown up, or struggled to breathe? How many times have you collapsed on us? You can _barely_ stand on your feet for too long anymore."

"Because once I am admitted into St. Mungo's, I will not be leaving alive – " Severus winced at his own words, " - I'd rather not _perish_ there. The precious resources wasted on me would be better spent on someone who requires it."

"Severus, you will be _well_ -taken care of by qualified Healers, " McGonagall looked upset, "They will not harm you."

"I care not about them _harming_ me, " Severus paused, as his tremoring hands would not calm, as they clutched the mug like a vice grip, "Can a dying man not have final wishes? I do not want to rot away there. This curse _will_ end me. Let's not pretend that it won't."

A bitter silence befell between the three of them. Severus looked away to stare bleakly into his mug of now-cold tea in his hands, giving several heaved breaths that emanated a sickly crackling sound. McGonagall exchanged saddened glances with Harry, who both felt like their hearts shattered as equally as each other. Harry felt scared. He knew time was ticking, and every day close to the ritual's end shrouded the final days in agonising doubt and gloom.

"What _are_ your wishes, Severus?" Harry spoke quietly. The man glanced up at Harry quickly, as if afraid to hold his gaze at the emerald orbs concerningly staring back at him. In that brief moment, Harry noticed Severus' eyes gloss over and he recognised that look of heartbroken defeat. The Slytherin suddenly looked fifty years older. Harry saw every new line in his face etched deeper among his marble-white skin and wondered if the man had ever truly smiled in his life, or when the last time may have been. There was not much color left on the man's face, as exhaustion took away whatever remnants of the life he seemingly had left.

"I – " Severus moved to speak but cut himself short. He inhaled and exhaled painfully, as Harry noticed by his sharp wince in recoil, "- I do not know. I do not wish to be anywhere to pose a burden on anyone in the state I am in. Being _here_ pains me…" His deep, reverberating voice began to tremble, "Harry has endured too much in his life already, and me being here as I am is not wise…I _refuse_ to allow him to see me lose my life again."

"I don't _care_ about that…"

Severus placed a hand up to silence him, "I do, Harry. I care!"

"Where on _Earth_ will you go?" McGonagall spoke in disbelief in the man's painful truth, "If you refuse St. Mungo's, and you do not wish to be here, there what other option is there?"

"The final phase of this ritual will either grant me life or death. _Regardless_ , I have almost two weeks to set my final affairs in order in _case_ of the latter. That much is certain, " Severus spoke softly.

Harry's heart felt like a hand had wrapped itself around it, squeezing further with every passing second. He heaved a breath as if it took a little more effort, but he felt his lungs burn. Like he had to actually think about breathing before he did so. Everything hurt, and Harry felt his eyes suddenly sting, " _Please_ , stay here. It's safer. If you go out there, then – " Harry paused briefly to gather his broken thoughts, " – Just stay. We are here to help you, and that's what we are going to do. You can't just…give up."

McGonagall regarded the Gryffindor proudly at his words, and nodded, "Mr. Potter is correct, Severus. You are within safety here. Whatever other wishes you may have – "

"My other wishes are unobtainable. Do not attempt to convince me, otherwise."

"I beg to differ, " The elderly witch shifted to the edge of her chair leaning forward, and suddenly reached out for Severus' hand. To Harry's surprise, the man did not snap his hand away as McGonagall clasped his cold, pale hands between her aged, warmer ones, "Listen to me, Severus, and listen _well_. These next two weeks will be, by far, one of your greatest challenges. I've known you for long enough, and I understand you despise being dotted on like this. But for _heaven's_ sake, stop trying to push people away. You have no _need_ to keep doing that now. When was the last time anyone was willing to go this far for you?"

Severus looked away and did not say a word. Harry didn't need a response from him to know that no one ever did. Not even Dumbledore. Not even his mother.

"One thing at a time, okay?" Harry was scared to speak, for fear of his voice breaking, "You have Professor McGonagall. You have Draco. You have me…You have far more people in your corner than you realise. _Trust_ me on that."

Severus spun his head around to Harry, looking him directly into the teenagers' pain-filled eyes. The man's own face contorted horribly in dread and remorse, "You _assume_ I am some hero…An innocent…A saint, deserving of praise…I am _neither_ …I am _not_ what you perceive me to me…How could you put so much blind faith in me, when I have caused you _nothing_ but pain? I wish you would hate me, Harry. You _should_ hate me. It will be far easier than…than, _this_ \- " Severus ripped his hand away from McGonagall, who looked incredibly hurt by the gesture.

Harry wildly shook his head, "We've been through this before. You're not the _monster_ you think you are. _Why_ do you want me to hate you? I _couldn't_ – not after everything you've done, and what you've shown me…You can't just expect me to forget."

"You've no idea, Pot – _Harry_ – " Severus growled to himself in frustration. He swung his legs over the bed suddenly and shifted around to its edge with great effort. Harry and McGonagall leaned forward to assist him, but he batted both of their hands away. His head leaned forward, as his unwashed curtains of black hair concealed his face as he focused his vision on the floor. He ran his hand over his face, "I made the mistake of returning. I could have just fled after Hogwarts – I _should_ have – Death would have come for me swiftly. No one would know. It would be easier…"

"It's not a sin to feel afraid. That's it, isn't it?" McGonagall asked carefully, "You're afraid of the _possibility_ of living. And you don't know how to. Am I correct in my judgment, Severus? You spent the last few years seemingly prepared to meet your end, and now that you have made it beyond that by a _sheer_ miracle, the possibility of a continued life frightens you far more than it should."

Severus' head jerked upwards slightly, but his face was still skewed behind his hair. Harry noticed the man nervously entwining his fingers.

McGonagall was tearful, "It'll be alright. You're no longer alone, so please, take _some_ solace in that. Like every War's end, we will rebuild ourselves if not, already. You too, have endured _far_ more than you should have. Life has never been kind to you, but remember that Potter and I, will be. This world still has a place for you yet, Severus."

Harry nodded but didn't say another word. Severus was clearly still struggling immensely – he always has been. It's been a rollercoaster struggle for the man, and yet still even after all this time, he is still afraid to live. He _wanted_ to live, but he is too afraid of what life for him lies ahead. McGonagall was right, of course. Life was never kind to him. Not in his home life, not in his school life, and even far beyond that – As much as Harry knew, anyway. Severus' only piece of happiness was lost because of a horrible mistake on his part, and now he feels he is undeserving of any such platitudes or further happiness. Like it was a disease that would soon consume him, rendering him cold and depressed once more. Severus was worthy of happiness, in any form, like anyone. He was more than worthy to have people by his side who are willing to fight tooth and nail for him. All those years in solitary torment and the man half responsible for Voldemort's downfall deserves _some_ shred of happiness, at the very least. That's why Harry and McGonagall refused to give up on him – Call it Gryffindor chivalry. He was not a lost cause, as much as he perceived himself to be.

Harry knew Severus felt guilty for not leaving sooner – the man was stuck in his grim predicament. But he knew it was because in staying, he grew closer to Harry, against all efforts to prevent such a thing for all these years. He knew, that in re-connecting with Harry, that they would soon create some kind of bond making it impossible for Severus to leave without the guilt of leaving Harry behind. In a moment's decision, Severus decided to stay within Grimmauld Place, offering to watch over Harry again and prevent any harm to him. Harry, and Severus, didn't foresee how those roles would drastically change and reverse. With the decision to stay, Severus armor began to chip away, even briefly. And in doing so, left the man raw and vulnerable beyond anything he ever anticipated.

The three of them were clearly wracked with nervous anticipation upon what lies ahead.

Two weeks.

Two weeks will determine everything.


	51. The Burden of War

* * *

**NOTE:** Split POV in this one – Both Harry's and Severus' POV will happen simultaneously. Also, by the end of this chapter, we would have begun the last stage of **one** (of two) of the major arcs of this story. Getting there, folks! Thanks for sticking around on this long haul! Hope you enjoy this chapter! =)

* * *

_"Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life. We are bound to feel anxious as we leave behind old notions of our unworthiness. The challenge is not to be fearless, but to develop strategies of acknowledging our fears and finding out how we can allay them."_

**― Maureen Brady**

* * *

CHAPTER 51: The Burden of War

"Minerva, join me downstairs before I further lose my mind staring at these same four walls, " Severus suggested bitterly, as he clambered slowly up onto his shaky feet.

Minerva observed the man carefully, peering over her spectacles as if she were about to scold him, "Are you certain you'll be able to remain on your feet?"

"We shall soon discover that, won't we?"

The elderly witch gave a _hmpf_ as she fixated her steely gaze upon the older Slytherin attempting to steady himself, "You really _should_ be resting. Don't force my hand, Severus, or I'll have you silenced and body-binded in the time it takes you to say _Gryffindor_."

" _Don't_ start, Minerva. We are simply going a floor below, not out for a leisurely stroll by the beach."

Since Harry and his group of teenage rebels departed barely an hour ago, Severus had been drifting in and out of sleep whilst Minerva scratched away over her parchments upon his desk by the wall. He always found the sound oddly soothing, and he could barely keep his eyes open long enough to hold any further conversation anyway. Not that Minerva minded at all. He had almost already reached his limit from his pain relievers, so the drowsiness emanating from that made remaining alert, a challenging task. From their dismal conversation earlier with Harry, Severus was a little more than emotionally spent at that point in time, and he was desperate to rest his mind even for a short time. It was bad enough having Minerva more or less watch him as humiliating as it could possibly get, but it seems even he didn't have any choice or say in the matter. He just couldn't get away from the Gryffindors even if he tried.

Severus had just returned from expelling the little stomach contents he had left, into the bathroom, leaving Minerva hovering by the door wondering if she should follow him inside to make sure he was alright. The Slytherin tried to down some of Kreacher's tomato soup earlier, but his stomach didn't quite agree with that idea. But upon finally cleaning himself up, Severus returned and suggested the pair of them go downstairs to the sitting room. Severus missed the freedom of leaving as he pleased, but even he was too worried to attempt solo Apparition for fear of splinching himself horribly. Death wouldn't be so merciful if he lay in a mess of gruesome body parts for the unfortunate soul to stumble upon.

It was a cautious trip down the rickety staircase, and Severus tried to move as slowly as he could tolerate, but his legs felt far too much like jelly. He constantly felt physically weak, and his energy levels were low, but he was in desperate need for a change in scenery being so incredibly frustrated by the sight of his own quarters. He had seen far too much of it in the last few months, as his illness rendered him too sick to move on most recent days. Despite the man's stubborn protests, Minerva ended up grabbing hold of Severus' arm halfway down, as the man had to pause several times to re-gain his bearings at times when the dizziness hit him so suddenly. But he pressed forward, and eventually, they made it to the sitting room where Severus collapsed back into his usual armchair as he had just completed a marathon. Minerva swiftly activated the fireplace, when Severus was overcome by a sudden onset of chills, even despite the warm summer evening outside. Once Minerva made sure Severus was comfortable, she gave him a blanket and sat down opposite to him, bundling up her favorite black robes as she did so.

The elderly witch glanced skyward, to find the enchanted ceiling of scarlet and purple clouds during dusk, floating above peacefully amongst a barely visible moon, "The enchantment was a nice touch, Severus."

Severus clutched the blanket tightly around him, amidst another bitter cold shiver, "I was mostly surprised that my own magic allowed me as such."

"Remember that snowstorm in 1989, a few days prior to Christmas Eve? Completely decimated half the feast. Poor Albus had to deal with the unimpressed House Elves, " Minerva reminisced, as a gleam of amusement shone in her bright blue eyes.

"I remember that evening quite clearly considering I was tasked to reset the enchantment and clean up the disastrous mess alongside you, while _he_ dealt with that. I recall Filius being equally as livid as the Elves."

Minerva chuckled, "I am quite certain that is the first instance I've ever heard him address that issue with, err… _colorful_ expletives."

"Despite being aware of the chaos, Albus seemed to find it all rather amusing. "

Christmas was usually one of Severus' least favorite holidays, as he never did become accustomed to the festive cheer and celebratory aspects of it. He never really celebrated it properly growing up, as a family typically should. His parents usually managed to salvage a used Christmas tree from somewhere else due to their poverty as they could not afford much, and Severus would sometimes find scraps of tinsel and old and sometimes broken, decorations to add to it. Even to go as far as saving spare change that he could find to buy a brand-new silver glittered star for the tree. Although, many of their Christmas dinners involved his father getting disgustingly drunk, ruining the holiday, so after that Severus never grew to have fond memories of it as a family. Well, apart from the one time spending a Christmas with Lily of course, before Hogwarts. The first Christmas he spent with the Evans family far surpassed every other, even despite her sister Petunia disapproving of him showing up on that one instance. At least her parents were kind and hospitable, and Lily's gift was the first gift anyone ever truly gave him.

But all of a sudden, the thought of Christmas seemed like a saddened affair. He didn't even show up for Christmas dinner during his stint as the malevolent Headmaster last year, and the previous one was the last he spent with his colleagues. Before everything truly went sour. And yet now he realised, he may not even make it until Christmas this year, or even in the light of the new year. He never cared about Christmas before, but with new this macabre perspective, the reality of it hit him harder than it should have. Suddenly, he felt a strange longing for being around his colleagues during the festive time of year, and if strangeness further encompassed him, even the students in all their usual cheer gave Severus an odd sense of belonging. Even if the students saw him as the Christmas Scrooge, which Severus often took as a compliment.

Minerva paused for a few moments, as her fond reminiscent expression turned serious, "I do miss his unwavering optimism. Albus always knew exactly what to say, when you needed to hear it."

"Despite his tongue twisting in riddles majority of the time, " Severus's lips curled, resentfully.

The elderly witch released a tired sigh, "I know his well, _methods,_ were rather skewed. But he was never malicious, Severus. I agree he should have considered other alternatives, however…what's done, is done."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "We had many arguments pertaining to such methods, Minerva. I daresay even you would have been protesting as much as I."

"Well, if either of you had ever bothered to include me in this infamous grand plan, perhaps I may have, " Minerva shook her head, with annoyance clear across her face. She did look a little wounded by the idea of being left out of something so significant, especially in regard to Albus', whom she was dearly close with.

"Believe me, I had wished you did. Would have saved me the stress of dealing with it myself. Again, it was Albus' decision, not mine, " Severus glanced apologetically at Minerva, "You of all people, _should_ have been a part of it. You were close to Albus, in far different ways than I was."

"Perhaps that is why he chose not to confide in me. My emotions regarding Potter would have likely clouded my judgment, " Minerva folded her hands neatly on her lap, and looked at Severus quite sombrely, "I apologise, Severus - I did not mean to bring Albus up. Only when you lose someone, do you realise how much you _truly_ miss them."

Severus sighed, "The bitter truth."

_…Lily._

Minerva paused to study the disheartened man before her, before the corner of her mouth twitched to a small smile, "I'm proud of you, you know."

Severus suddenly looked repulsed and somewhat shocked, "What bloody for? Don't start with the vile falsifying accolades, Minerva. I'm in no mood."

"Mind your forked-tongue. Good _heavens_ , can you not stand a compliment or two?"

"Clearly not."

Minerva pursed her lips together, sternly, "How on earth does Potter put up with you?"

"Without a _sliver_ of choice, it seems, " Severus cast away the blanket he had wrapped around himself, feeling the immediate warmth from the fireplace which had become a little too effective. It didn't take much these days to warm his thinned, frail form, but he was relieved the teeth-chattering shivers that had begun earlier, had now ceased. He was reluctant to begin brewing Pepper-up Potions, as he didn't need another medicinal potion to become reliant on. Call it stubbornness, but his body was filled mostly with potions, rather than anything remotely nutritional. Running on nauseating emptiness was bad enough.

"There's always a choice, Severus. You _both_ chose – Is that not validating enough?" Minerva questioned honestly. She appeared in disbelief and she pursued the questioning as calmly as she could, "You had always acted like he was a menace. You _chose_ to ignore who he truly was, even if the rest of us tried for years to convince you, otherwise."

"I am painfully aware."

"…Then what's changed?"

"The boy, Minerva! The boy has changed _everything_ , " Severus snapped, a little too harshly.

"You and I both know he is no longer a _boy_. He is not the same child who began at Hogwarts all those years ago - " Minerva shook her head, " - Merlin forbid, you seem to still have the notion that change is such a terrible thing. _Embrace_ it, Severus, dear. _Allow_ it to happen – I assure you; it will _help_ rather than hinder."

Severus glanced hopelessly at the older witch. She couldn't possibly understand, as much as he tried to tell her. It wasn't that simple. He was never well-equipped for change, especially when that change meant developing a newfound connection with the Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. The reason the boy was named as such, was because of him in the first place. And yet no one else seemed to understand the devastation and inner turmoil that caused within Severus himself – He was not expecting this to happen. Or planned to. It was even a part of the agreement with Albus when he accepted the ultimate defection and undercover role that Albus had offered him in wake of Severus' plea over the safety of the Potter's. He _specifically_ told Albus not to tell anyone why he was doing this because it was far too personal. To dedicate the rest of your life to protect the son of the woman you loved, and the son of your greatest tormentor, was not simple by any means. It wounded Severus deeply to be so horribly conflicted. Perhaps there could have been some latitude if he were not the son of Potter, but regardless, he could not risk growing close with the boy. Hatred was the best way he could keep his distance, and so it made it incredibly easy that James Potter was the driving force of his loathing upon the boy – which was unfair at times – but necessary.

There could not _be_ any other way.

And now? The Dark Lord is finally vanquished. He grew closer to Harry _after_ his demise, despite his persistence about not allowing himself to do such a thing. He developed an unforeseen bond with him, and now it cannot be reversed unless he was more than prepared to hurt them both. And of all the dark feats he had performed in this pitiful role to the Dark Lord over the years, that was one thing he was not willing to do. The thought of further wounding Harry terrifies him more than he ever cared to admit. He remembered the night he had to end Albus' life – The look of disgust, utmost loathing, and repulsion upon Harry's face when he performed the terrible deed when confronted by him were enough to want to throw _himself_ off the Astronomy Tower. Since that night, he struggled to erase the look of severe disappointment from the boy's face, within his mind.

He had never hated himself more than he did in that very moment.

He thought of Harry out there in Hogsmeade with his friends at that point in time, hoping above all else, that there were no other disastrous mishaps. Severus was useless enough without most of his magic, and what if he were hurt again, and he could not fix him this time? He _hated_ not being able to be there to lend his assistance. They needed others there – those more experienced than they were. Severus knew that they were skilled with the Patronus, and one of them would have sent a distress message if they were in trouble. He tried to take that into consideration, but he was not satisfied enough with that thought as dread filled his stomach. Harry was still under his protection – Severus' own obligation - and yet he was not fit enough for such a _blasted_ task.

He had never felt this pathetic before.

Succumbed by his innermost thoughts ripping away at his mind, Severus slowly rose up from his chair and stumbled to the windowsill, desperate to block the concerned gaze of his friend sitting across from him. He allowed his own tired eyes to focus on the small park across the street, waiting for Harry and his friends to Apparate safely under the protection of the night sky and back within his view. He was losing hope. He felt like he was drowning in the sickening feeling within his stomach, and he couldn't swim to the surface because something else was anchoring him down. The Slytherin leaned over the windowsill with a shuddered exhale, feeling his chest constrict with a pain he felt no familiarity with.

_Why this? Why now? …I can't deal with this._

Severus closed his eyes, feeling them burn as they welled up with tears he could not fight against.

"I know you care deeply for him now, Severus. There is no need to hide that from me. Not anymore, " Minerva spoke gently, almost too afraid to stir the solemn silence within the room except the sound of the crackling fire beside them, "I understand how difficult this must be now, especially as you've spent so many years with such animosity against him. And now, for it to turn entirely on its head… _Please_ do not harbor such hatred for yourself because of your change in heart, now. Good heavens, be _kinder_ to yourself."

Severus angrily turned around on his heel to face her, feeling the room spin slightly as he did so, "Minerva, I _cannot_ protect him any longer! Look at me! Death would come for me the moment I step out of that front door – Death himself would be laughing at the pitiful _fool_ I've become. I cannot be the person Harry _needs_. I failed him - "

" - _Nonsense_. Potter is not just relying on you for your strength. He values you in far more other ways, more than you even realise, " Minerva gently reassured, "You've both come so far, despite what you've had to face. You know, the day I returned to the Headmaster's office, was the first time I faced Albus since his death. Once I told him what you had done, he cried, Severus. When I told him you and Potter survived, he _cried_. He is as proud of you as I am."

Severus shook his head, not wanting to hear any more of it, "I have no strength _left_. Harry has seen _all_ of my worst memories…My personal ones…I _cannot_ reverse it. I gave him my memories out of desperation because I was prepared to meet my end. At that point, it didn't matter, but now…"

"And _best_ , from what I've been told. You allowed him to finally see the goodness in you, even when you don't believe in it yourself."

" _Goodness_? _What_ goodness, Minerva?" Severus turned back to the window in time for a single small tear to trail down his gaunt cheek, "I _cannot_ forget what I did to him…How I treated him under my wing... I'm not proud of what I did, or the things I've said to him out of spite over the years…" He stopped himself in time to detect a painful waver in his own voice, as he reached out a tremoring hand against the windowsill to steady himself. He couldn't continue. He couldn't simply brush his past actions away. Harry may have not thought much of them, but _he_ did. He was hurt by his own actions – His own terrible choices. And they would forever haunt him.

"He _forgives_ you. What more could you possibly ask for?" Minerva was gentle still in her response, and he knew she was trying so desperately hard for him to see the light. But Severus struggled to see even that, as darkness was all he knew. It was all he was familiar with. The Slytherin heard a shuffle on the floorboards behind him, and soon realised that Minerva was approaching him by the window, "Seventeen years, and you _still_ blame yourself for what happened…Lily would have forgiven you, too."

He shook his head, as his bottom lip twitched, "…I don't _deserve_ forgiveness…Not after all the horrific things I've done…" Severus' voice was hoarse, and he began to choke upon his words, causing him to become so frustrated with the lack of control with himself. He felt a warm, comforting hand rest on his back, causing another tear to fall like a trigger.

He was losing it…His mind…Everything…Lost... His bleak shadowed world was shattering around him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it this time. He tried so hard, but he simply couldn't stop this terrible feeling from rising within him. He was never destined for a good life – It was a painful realisation he had come to accept.

Minerva then placed her firm hands on his shoulders, and turned him gently around to find a tear-stained ivory-white face staring powerlessly back at her, "…Oh, _Severus_ …Come here…"

Severus didn't fight it this time, as he leaned forward to place his head on Minerva's shoulder, feeling her surprisingly strong arms wrap around his rigid form. He allowed his arms to remain dropped by his side, leaning into the embrace he had been fighting her against, for weeks. He cried silently against her, feeling several struggled gasps in a feeble attempt to quell the powerful, built-up sobs rising within him. His tears began to soak into her black robes, but Severus was too heartbroken to care. Minerva whispered to him gently, echoing words of comfort and wisdom that she knew best, and suddenly, Severus felt like a child once more clinging to her in lost hope. Like a child being soothed by a parent, the way they should be. Not condemned, screamed at, and whipped routinely with a belt amongst a drunken stupor, while your mother was too helpless to intervene.

Severus never truly had _this_.

Minerva continued to rub his back, as he too, felt the woman's own tears soak into his raven hair until he finally completed the embrace. Despite his shaky hands, he raised his arms and wrapped them carefully around the older witch, returning the embrace he clearly needed more practice with. Suddenly the weight of everything going on crashed over his shoulders once more like a tidal wave. The heaviness was more evident on the surface of his heart. But at least now, he didn't have to carry that burden alone this time. Not unlike the lonely and desolate path Albus had sent him on.

"You see? That's not so bad, is it, Severus?" Minerva's tearful voice was muffled against his shoulder.

He gave a tearful snort, "…Don't flatter yourself, " Severus pulled away from her, as he shamefully looked away with a tear-stained face.

Minerva comfortingly squeezed his shoulders once more, as she finally let go of her soothing hold leaving Severus strangely longing for that reassuring warmth again. She wore a proud smile like a mother would upon a child taking their first steps, or speaking their first words, or receiving high grades at school…Severus always had high respect for Minerva, and she was somewhat of a mentor when he first began teaching at Hogwarts. She was always kind, even to the bitter old Potion's Master in the dungeons. She always made time for him, even during the multiple times he would dismiss her attempts because he found his own comfort in being alone. But like many others, he had no choice but to distance himself from his colleagues. It was the only way to make his role believable with the dreaded mission he was tasked with, and that destroyed him immensely. She was hurt by him, too.

Before either of them could speak another word, a glowing silvery ball of light appeared in the center of the room, which immediately distorted itself to take the form of a horse. The horse itself galloped around the room until it settled before them.

" - I believe that is Miss Weasley's Patronus, " Minerva let out a small gasp, as she exchanged worried glances with Severus.

The horse opened its mouth, and Minerva was right – It began to speak in Ginny's familiar voice, _"Hogsmeade under attack. Parvati was taken. Harry disappeared into the Forest. Need help."_ As soon as the message was delivered, the horse disappeared in wisps of silver light, soon disappearing into nothingness.

"Minerva – " Severus began to speak, but was immediately silenced. His heart sunk deeper within his chest.

The elderly witch dismissed Severus' pleas with a finite glare, " _You_ are to remain here. I will go and investigate immediately."

"Allow me – "

"No, Severus! You are in _absolutely_ no state. I will ensure that you remain, " Minerva turned to call Kreacher's name, as the House Elf teleported directly in front of them glancing up at the witch eagerly.

"How may I assist, friend of Master Potter?" Kreacher croaked.

"My departure has been requested immediately. Upon Potter's orders, you are to ensure Severus here does not leave this property, understood?"

Kreacher bowed his head slightly, "Master Potter has indeed informed me of such an order in case this were to happen. I will see to it that he does not leave."

" _Good_. Thank you."

Severus's mouth gaped open as if he'd just been slapped, "I will _not_ be forced to remain! Harry is in danger – "

Minerva turned back to look at him disapprovingly, "This is not up for discussion. I will find him on your behalf. Stay here, and I will return as soon as I am able." The elderly witch then strode off out of the room without another word, black robes billowing behind her, and left Grimmauld Place immediately. Severus heard the front door slam shut.

Severus was left with the House Elf, who simply gawked up at him in the same place he was summoned. Again, he felt helpless. He _should_ be there, not trapped within the encompassing walls owned by the house of Black, dying slowly. He would have been able to silence his old comrades with ease and put an end to them before they hurt another. And now they have captured one of the Patil twins – One of his ex-students. They were picking them off one by one.

He found himself pacing the room for a few agonising minutes until he realised how much precious energy was sapped from him. His face was still wet with tears, as he collapsed back into the armchair, and buried his head in his hands.

The waiting was always the worst.

* * *

In wake of the disastrous DA meeting earlier, Harry and - whoever amongst the DA were keen to help - met in the entrance hallway of Grimmauld Place going through a brief plan of action. Some of the members were still a little cautious of Harry as if they were expecting his fuse to begin crackling and explode in a fury again before their eyes. Their hesitation amongst his presence was more than a little annoying, and by that point, Harry didn't care if he still looked mad. He still was, so why should he pretend otherwise? It wasn't justified or appropriate for Seamus to become so hostile as he did, and how else were they going to expect Harry to deal with that? There was no way that Seamus would be able to handle everything that Harry was at that point, and if Harry didn't take a stand, no one would.

Despite those bubbling emotions fuelling his drive, Harry sent designated pairs to each side of Hogsmeade. Dean and Katie were stationed on the west side, closest to the train station. George and Angelina monitored the north side, behind Zonko's. Ron, Luna, and Hermione took the south side, by the owl post. Leaving Harry and Ginny to occupy the east side, closer to Dervish and Bange's. Each pair were stationed at their assigned forest line or location obscured enough away from any potential onlookers. Using the forest as cover worked in their favor.

Harry had sent Draco off first, who later met up with Ginny and himself once they arrived. He reinforced their discussion upon not screwing this up again and made sure the Slytherin was well aware not to do anything reckless as he did before. Harry's friends didn't even know that he was injured the night prior, and he'd much rather keep it that way. McGonagall had previously discussed with Harry that, for any reason, they needed extra reinforcements, that she would be the first port of call. With that thought easing his mind, he made his way there with Ginny by his side.

It was almost pitch-black, except for the pale glow of the crescent moon above, shrouded by only a few passing clouds. Clutching his Invisibility Cloak tightly within his grasp, Harry and Ginny stationed themselves in the same location Harry and Draco were previously the night before. From their position, Harry noticed that there were four Aurors wandering around the village, however, he recognised neither of them. He had to wonder what happened to those stationed before, but a sickening feeling told him that he'd rather not find out. He felt guilty enough for leaving as they did, but he and Draco would have been absolutely useless and would have faced far bigger problems had they stayed.

Almost an hour in pure silence passed, and still no change. They had seen nothing out of the ordinary, as they remained focused on the same quadrant of Aurors circling around in a military, unified fashion. Harry wished they had a better line of communication with the others, like a magical walkie-walkie, or something equally as useful. Maybe he could pose that idea with George sometime because it could really come in handy to have an alternative form of communication that didn't involve sending Patronus' along the battleground giving away their position, and identities.

"…Well, this is uneventful, " Draco whispered, crouching beside them, as he kept his eyes peeled ahead.

Ginny rolled her eyes, " _Please_ don't jinx it."

"I would have left already to scout ahead, but I don't want to leave you with Malfoy, " Harry responded, quietly.

"Oi!" Draco hissed.

"I'm sure I could put up with him, " Ginny smirked as she turned to Harry, "Want me to take the Cloak and wander around instead?"

Harry immediately shook his head. He didn't like that idea, and the thought of having her wander off alone sent shivers down his spine, "No, it's fine. We'll wait a little longer."

Draco looked repulsed, "I just had to be the third bloody wheel. _Disgusting_."

"Just shut up, and pay attention, will you?" Harry hissed, as he kept his eyes peeled ahead. They needed to be extra careful this time, and he wasn't about to allow Draco to ruin it again. The Slytherin was admittedly a strong and resourceful wizard but working with others was not a strong virtue of his. That much was plainly obvious.

Ginny suddenly turned to look behind them, beyond the forest, and by the startled look on her face, Harry was almost too scared to ask. She glanced back at Harry, and he noticed her breathing was elevated in nervousness. "I heard something…back there…Or else, I thought I did."

Harry frowned, "Like what?"

"I-I'm not entirely sure. It could very well be a breeze that blew through. Although, I hope it is."

Draco appeared deep in thought, "The silence is indeed rather concerning."

"Maybe they decided to bail because they anticipated us being here?" Harry wondered although he wasn't entirely convinced of that himself, "We're probably waiting for nothing. Or just another one of their stupid decoys, so they attack somewhere else instead. Won't be the first time."

The Slytherin merely shook his head, "They won't pass up the opportunity." He turned to look behind them in the forest and tried his best to squint within the shadows concealing them in all directions, "I get the feeling we are in the wrong place."

"The others would have known that was the case – " Ginny said, but was cut off by a frightening sound –

It was a piercing scream, which seemed to reverberate all around them. It sounded distant, yet so painfully close. The sound wasn't loud enough to pierce their eardrums, but it was enough to give Harry goosebumps and causing his own hair to stand on end. It wasn't a voice he recognised. The three of them exchanged confused glances but remained silent for any additional sound. All that could be heard, however, was the light rustling of the trees amongst the light summer night breeze. Harry looked back towards Hogsmeade and noticed the four Aurors had stopped in their tracks with their wands raised high. They had convened in the village center by the old well, looking around for the source of the noise. It was clear to Harry that he wasn't going crazy, and that they heard it too. He had to wonder if the others did, as well.

And yet, still no sign of the enemy.

Even Draco looked worried, "They're messing with us. They know."

"So, what are your thoughts?" Harry asked.

"With or without expletives?"

"The simple version will do."

Draco paused for a moment, "To be honest, staying in one place isn't doing us a whole lot of good. I reckon they are hiding somewhere in the forest. Likely watching _us_."

The color drained from Harry's face, " _Great_."

Ginny looked nervously behind her again, "…Do you think we should move?"

Draco sighed, "I think it might be too late for that - " He turned to Harry and Ginny, " - Put the Cloak on. Just in case."

Without thinking twice, Harry flung the Invisibility Cloak over himself and Ginny feeling the comfort and security of the concealment it gave them. Both waited silently, scared to move for fear of disturbing the dried leaves underneath their feet. He felt Ginny's hand clasp his, waiting anxiously together.

But a few minutes later, they heard the strange scream again, this time the sound came from the distance. Harry had the urge to bolt, to see who the voice belonged to, but he knew that would not be a wise decision. Up ahead, he could see the Aurors talking amongst themselves, possibly deciding on the next move, much like they were. Suddenly, they saw a flash of red light, followed by a yellow one over on the northern side, where George and Angelina were currently stationed.

Then they heard the scream again, this time on the other far side of the village. It didn't make any mode of sense, but it was clear to them that Draco was right – They were taunting them.

Upon looking back to the village center, he saw two Aurors – a young woman and a middle-aged man - sprint over to where George and Angelina were, whilst keeping their wands defensively raised. The three of them watched as the Aurors engaged when suddenly, a duel broke out. Bursting out of the forest were two large Acromantulas and three Death Eaters who began to attack the Aurors, along with George and Angelina. Harry rose up, about to join them, when Draco's arm shot out to stop him.

" _Oi_ , wait!" Draco spoke, in a harsh whisper.

Harry was becoming increasingly impatient the longer they waited, "They are getting attacked! We have to go –"

"Potter, _wait,_ will you?! If we all go over there, then we are screwed if we leave this side open…"

"We're screwed _anyway_ , aren't we?" Ginny added, "I'm going – My brother is there! They need our help!"

Harry and Ginny looked at each other after a nod of silent confirmation, and without waiting for another second, both bolted towards their intended location, with Draco calling out " _Idiots_!" as they went. The others were in trouble, and they weren't about to watch them while they try and defend themselves against dark wizards, and now Acromantula's. He thought Hagrid had mentioned that the Acromantula's retreated after the battle at Hogwarts, but it seems as if a few stray ones remained at the Death Eater's disposal.

Harry tore the Cloak off them and tucked it within his back pocket as he ran, for fear of it getting blown off into the wind. As they rushed over, they watched as one of the Acromantula's were blasted onto its back by a spell from one of the Aurors, leaving its legs clawing wildly in the air, whilst one of the Death Eaters engaged in a heated duel against George and Angelina.

Harry raised his wand, and fired an _Incendio_ Charm at the other Acromantula, as a jet of flames emitted from his wand, hurling a ball of fire at the large car-sized creature. The giant spider was instantly set alight, but the other Acromantula, once it finally clambered back on its legs, fired a string of web at the other Auror who became instantly encased. The man soon fell to the floor tearing wildly at his sticky bindings. Harry raced towards the fallen Auror, as Ginny bolted past him to join her brother in the fight, wand held high over her head.

Harry used a Severing Charm to cut through the now hardening webs, as he began to frantically free him. The lanky, silver-haired man looked at Harry as if he suddenly grew an extra head, "Harry Potter? _The_ Harry Potter?! What the bloody hell are _you_ doing here?"

"Err, calvary. You'll need it, " Harry responded, as the Auror got back onto his feet, "No time to explain."

"Blimey, well, your timing couldn't be better. Madness, this is!" The Auror gave Harry a small salute in gratitude, before sprinting back to his comrade's side.

Harry peered around to the other side of Hogsmeade, to find Hermione, Luna, and Ron engaging in their own fight with several Death Eaters on their end, whilst Dean and Katie were tackling a horde of Dementors who had just entered the battlefield. Their non-corporeal Patronus' was enough to repel the six skeletal wraiths homing in on their position, but Harry was far too occupied to run over to assist them.

Suddenly, things got completely way out of hand.

Squinting through the pale lamplight lining the residential streets of Hogsmeade away from the main shopfronts along Main Street, he saw some of the locals blearily exiting their homes to the sounds of curses and wayward jinxes exploding all around them. It didn't take long for them to discover that they were being attacked. Some of the witches and wizards, young and old, withdrew their wands. Some were still adored in their pajamas and nightgowns, those of which appeared as if they had just rolled out of their beds. They were willing to defend this village with everything they had. The commotion upon the battle around the village was enough to stir another fight within them, as they immediately ran to the aid of the Aurors and their allies.

As the locals began to engage, he noticed Aberforth at the helm, which had Harry quite relieved to see. Amongst them, he also saw Madam Rosmerta and a few other shopkeepers residing in the village, holding their wands high and firing return spells as they went. Some had even begun to place shields around their homes to increase their defenses. Harry counted at least fifteen willing fighters, and that was enough for him to feel a little more confident with their situation.

The Auror was right. It was utter madness.

Once he managed to recollect his thoughts in the heat of the moment, Harry soon raced over towards Ginny, who had collectively driven the Death Eater away, alongside her brother and Angelina.

"They just Apparated away – " Ginny said breathlessly, as Harry rushed over to them.

Angelina looked slightly flustered, "We kept hearing strange voices. Did you hear it too? I think there are more in the forest."

Harry nodded, "Yeah, we heard the same thing – "

Just as Harry looked back over to the village center, he watched in horror as several plumes of vivid purple and black smoke were suddenly doused within the village center, thrown over like sticks of dynamite. The thick smoke itself appeared to expand, filling every available space it could as it traveled alongside the breeze which carried it further. Some of the residents screamed in fright as they took refuge in some of the shopfronts, desperate to escape the toxic vapors descending quickly upon them.

Draco was right again – They were using Hogsmeade as a test run.

_Bastards!_

The four of them exchanged concerned glances, as they immediately raced towards the village center to help dispel it. Some of the residents were coughing and spluttering, as two of them fell over with lungs burning and skin slowly singing. The wafting scent of searing flesh was enough to make Harry want to hurl, but it was with great effort to quell that sickening feeling within him as he went. He couldn't believe what was happening.

Harry raised his wand over his head, and flourished it in a sweeping, circular motion, " _Halitus Evanesca!_ " Dull yellow sparks emitted from the tip of his wand, as the toxic fumes began to slowly melt away and dissipate. He felt his eyes start to water, but he tried his best to keep away from the thick of it. Some of the locals had watched as he performed the spell, and they too began to imitate it desperately. One by one, some of the locals who weren't already affected by it, began to cast the counterspell. However, they were not fast enough as the fumes began to spread far quicker than Harry anticipated. He saw a young man collapse at the corner of his sight, but he could not get any nearer to help. Ginny tapped her wand over herself and Harry, and cast a Bubblehead Charm, encasing their heads with a transparent bubble, enabling them to block out the fumes and breathe clearer. But Harry felt a sudden sting as he looked below, and noticed a slight burn appearing on his skin. Ginny noticed it too, as her own skin was beginning to develop the same rash-like mass, which felt more like a sunburn. They both looked at each other in horror, and Harry immediately grabbed her hand tightly and pulled her back far away from the fumes.

"N-Now what do we do?!" Ginny was too much in shock over the situation to think clearly. Harry had only wished he had an answer, or at least, a solution that wouldn't get them killed.

Harry looked over to the other side to find his friends struggling to douse the fumes in the same way he was. This was not good. Digging into his side jean pocket he retrieved the DA coin and activated it immediately with a distress signal, in a bid for reinforcements. Death Eaters were still attacking them from behind, forcing them further into the Hogsmeade death trap. Harry glanced at his skin again, and much to his relief, had stopped burning. He guessed the longer the exposure, the worse they would be. If he were in there for long enough, this toxic gas could singe right through their skin like the others. It was a disgusting thought, but it wasn't surprising to know how far these enemies would go. They will need copious amounts of burn salve when this night was over, one way or another.

Harry felt a nudge on his shirt behind him and spun around to find a Draco looking extremely perturbed and winded.

"Potter – I found their base – " Draco spoke between breaths, " – There's another five in the forest - "

"I've called for reinforcements. Whatever you do, _don't_ go near the fumes, " Harry warned.

"This stuff is pretty nasty, " Ginny said, "We can hold back the fumes, but the burns are horrible."

Harry looked beyond Draco's shoulder, to find the Patil twins Apparating within their vicinity, along with Hannah, Susan, and much to his surprise, Seamus. He watched the new reinforcements enter the fight; Some of them engaged in a duel with the nearest Death Eaters, as the remainder of them ran towards the village center to clear the noxious fumes. Harry could see that the fumes were dissipating, but only slightly. He watched as Hannah Abbott drop down towards a fallen young wizard, tending to his injuries as best she could. But there were a few others who appeared along with them, who Harry thought had long since abandoned the DA. It was Cho Change and Dennis Creevey. But they weren't the only appearances who caught Harry by surprise. He looked over at the other side, and saw Arthur and Molly, alongside Percy, Bill, and Fleur battling away at their own band of Death Eaters, keeping them occupied. Rubeus Hagrid, with Professor Vector, had also entered the battlefield alongside Hermione, Ron, and Luna, blasting enemies away with his umbrella.

Draco turned back to Harry, "I also saw one of the Carrows…Amycus. He's with Dolohov and Selwyn."

Ginny's hazel eyes grew wide upon the spoken name.

"Where?!" Harry asked, desperately.

"By the base in the Forest. Let's flank 'em – "

"Harry, _no_!" Ginny exclaimed, " _Stay_ here. They'll only keep coming for us!"

Draco clutched his wand tightly within his grasp, "Well, they seem to be _running_ the show. We take _them_ out, then they retreat like wounded animals."

Harry paused in an attempt to gather his thoughts and ponder on it frantically for a few precious moments. With a wince, he nodded, and turned back to Ginny who read his expression immediately, "Malfoy and I will investigate. _Ginny_ , please stay here. Go with George, we won't be long okay? I've got the Cloak. If we're not back in fifteen minutes, send for McGonagall."

"Harry, _seriously_!"

"No, Ginny…Stay with the others!"

Ginny bit her lip, looking conflicted, but eventually, she nodded. She reached over to Harry, to give him a quick hug, before sprinting over to join the others.

"Very touching, Potter. Now keep up!" Draco didn't wait around for too long until turning on his heel sharply and bounding towards the forest.

Harry ran blindly in a bid to keep up with the elusive Slytherin until the sounds of the battle behind them were masked by the dense trees surrounding them. He really couldn't believe he was doing this, but it was a risk he was willing to take. He knew of all people, Antonin Dolohov was one of the mastermind ringleaders of the last Death Eaters, so the thought of taking one of them out was too good of an opportunity to pass up. There were enough people left behind at Hogsmeade to douse the rest of the fumes and hold the others off, so both Harry and Draco took the chance to pursue the more important enemies.

Draco's run halted to a quick stop, with Harry nearly plowing behind him, distracted by everything that was happening and running rampant through his mind. The Slytherin grabbed the Gryffindor painfully by a fistful of his shirt and pulled him roughly down to the ground. Harry ducked behind the thick of one of the maple trees and squinted in the dark towards the shrouded clearing ahead. He wanted desperately to cast Lumos so he could see, but that would do more harm than good at that time. Instead, the pair of them waited in the darkness yet again.

The sounds of the fight were now almost dulled to nothing, as the trees surrounded them muted all other external sounds. However, there were new sounds up ahead. Draco pointed to a spot in the clearing, where Harry followed his line of sight. Up ahead, he could see four unmasked Death Eaters. Draco was right again – Dolohov, Carrow, and Selwyn were there. He couldn't make out the fourth one as his back was facing them, but it didn't matter. They had their targets on sight, and that was enough for them. The four enemies were huddled in a group, chatting amongst themselves. But they started to get a little heated in conversation, causing one of them to begin pacing around, kicking the ground around him with a dirt-caked heeled boot. Someone was angry.

Harry looked at Draco, nodding together, hoping above all else that the Slytherin had the same idea. Pulling out the Cloak, he threw it back around him and began to slowly make his way around the clearing to gain a better vantage point, as Draco went in the opposite direction. Harry glanced skywards as a precaution, and much to his relief, no Dementors this time. However, many of them were at their disposal, and all were likely already on the battlefield. One less thing to deal with. The Gryffindor began to inch quietly around the clearing, clasping the Cloak around him like a lifeline. In the distance, he watched Draco carefully making his way around until both teenagers were aligned in the edge of the center. They obviously hadn't really discussed this plan of action but catching them off guard was as good of an idea as any. As Draco was unable to see him, Harry knelt down to eagerly await the first move. He'll let Draco have the honors of that, as he knew them better than he did.

He watched as Draco slowly raised his wand, waiting for the right moment to attack. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for exactly, but Harry was getting nervous with each passing moment. His heart thumped painfully in his chest, and it felt so loud that the possibility of the sound giving them away made him nervous. Instead, Harry held his breath.

Suddenly the tip of Draco's wand glowed; his lips moved soundlessly, as the ground underneath the Death Eaters began to crumble under their feet. The stones and the earth began to shift, shaking more violently with each second, causing the enemies to lose their balance, with one of them toppling over, confused as to what was happening. Dust and leaves kicked up in the disturbance, as Harry heard one of the enemies swearing loudly.

_…Hell of a cue._

Harry peered around from his hiding spot at the exact same time Draco did, and immediately they engaged in a duel against the four distracted Death Eaters. As first the enemies were bewildered, they gradually began to realise what was happening. Immediately, they spotted Draco and began to unleash devastating spells towards him, as each hit the tree beside him with such a tremendous force. The tree shook violently from the impact, but Draco peered out again and fired back. Since Harry was still partially invisible, Harry flanked the Death Eaters from behind, completely catching them off guard and confusing them further. Harry fired a stunning spell at Dolohov, which collided in mid-air with one of his hexes initiating a small, unexpected explosion in mid-air. Harry followed up with a disarming spell towards him, but he threw up a Shield Charm just in time.

Harry flickered his wand outwards sharply, " _Stupefy_!" The red sparks flew from his wand, crashing into the tree inches away from Selwyn, causing Dolohov to fire back immediately. Harry threw himself down to the forest floor in time to avoid the oncoming curse, and once he was low enough, he shouted another stunning curse, which hit Selwyn on the shoulder, causing him to be knocked right off his feet. The Death Eater scrambled to get up from the ground, and in those few seconds, Harry threw up his own Shield Charm, repelling the curse that Dolohov had fired at him. The spell ricochets off and hit the ground at Carrow's feet, distracting him as Draco fired a curse which hit him with such force, that the wand flew right out of his hand. Harry turned around to face Selwyn once again, leaving Draco to fire back at the fourth Death Eater.

" _Glacius impedimenta_!" Harry flourished his wand sharply, as a jet of ice plummeted towards Selwyn, suddenly encasing him in ice once the powerful beam rippled through the clearing. The chill was instant, as he could see Dolohov cursing under his breath in disbelief. But just as Harry leaned back to cast another, his own wand suddenly sailed up from his hand, spinning over towards the bushes several feet away from him, and disappeared from view.

He was about to move forward to retrieve it, but Harry immediately felt a wand jab sharply against the side of his neck, and soon enough, he immensely dreaded this decision.

"Move, and I'll sever your flippin' head from your shoulders, Potter – " The huskiness of the voice behind him sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it, "You're a tricky one to find, aren't ya?"

Harry watched as Draco reached the same dilemma, as Dolohov jabbed his own wand menacingly at the now disarmed Slytherin. Draco's arms dropped helplessly to his side in defeat, looking absolutely furious. The scowl on his face was almost identical to his own.

"You _idiots_. Draco, I'm disappointed in you, " Dolohov growled, "Your precious father was always a weakling, so I'm not exactly surprised you turned out the same. I'm glad he is in Azkaban for good this time, and hope the maggots eat him alive." He chuckled at his own attempt at humor.

"There's _that_ justice served, " Amycus Carrow interjected, as he twirled his own wand within his hands.

Draco scrunched up his face, "You lot are _done_ for - " He glanced over to the Death Eater holding Harry, " - Macnair, I thought Voldemort got rid of you?"

_Walden Macnair. Of course._

"That's Dark Lord to you, Malfoy!" Macnair responded, angrily.

"Tom Riddle is _dead_! I killed him, remember? " Harry added, not caring how much he was taunting them, "Or did you all forget?"

"How dare you speak ill of him, _filth_!" Dolohov walked up to Harry and suddenly hit him hard across the face. Harry felt an instant burn across his jaw, and he was quite certain he accidentally bit into his tongue, feeling a familiar metallic taste coat the inside of his mouth. His lip burned sharply, and he heard a tiny crack of his glasses, as his vision distorted briefly by the painful spots of light he could see instead, "Now, what to do with you?" Dolohov mused as he waved his wand as his ice-coated comrade, enabling the Freeze Spell to slowly reverse, freeing Selwyn from his frosty cage. Selwyn shivered violently for a moment and reached down to pick up his fallen wand, glaring venomously at Harry – wand itching to retaliate.

"So…How's Severus Snape these days? The traitor dropped _dead_ yet? Rumour has it he's finally got one foot in the grave…Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" There was a disgusting chuckle from Macnair behind him, and Harry was awfully close to elbowing him in the groin just to shut him up. But he knew that would not bode well for either of them.

"You're just bitter he worked _against_ you all these years, " Harry responded with an odd, controlled calmness, "He outsmarted all of you. Now, who are the idiots?" He felt the wand jab further into his neck, and he was almost certain that was going to leave a mark.

"So, what's your deal? Your plan _sucks_. We foiled it before you got to finish, so give _up_ already, " Draco spat, "It's only a matter of time until Azkaban have you back within its loving arms once again. I'm sure they've kept your usual cells ready – "

" – You _insolent_ cocky swine! Curb your tongue!" Dolohov roared but was suddenly cut off by his wand flying from his hands.

Bounding from beyond the trees was Professor McGonagall and Ginny who collectively cast Disarming Charms on two of the four Death Eaters. Giving that distraction, Harry finally did elbow Macnair in the groin once his wand left his hands, causing the man to double-over unexpectedly as Harry retrieved his own wand at the ground at the foot of the twisted tree. Draco did the same.

McGonagall stepped forward to face the two armed Death Eaters, suddenly engaging in a dangerous duel against them, whilst Harry and Draco attacked the other two in retaliation. The Headmistress swung her wand arm rather flawlessly over her head, as the roots under the forest floor began to rip away from the ground, grabbing hold of their lower limbs, as they fought back with their own array of dark spells to desperately free themselves. One of the Death Eaters fired the Killing Curse, which shot past McGonagall, and exploded at the tree beside her. Ginny quickly ducked out of the way, throwing herself onto the ground as it did so.

The Headmistress waved her wand again, sending a blue bolt of lighting from her wand, connecting with Selwyn's as his curse collided with hers. Both the witch and the Death Eater locked wands, as their magic combined pulsated through the clearing, zapping at the grounds around where they stood. Selwyn threw his wand up in an upwards motion, redirecting McGonagall's spell at the ground in front of her, causing a large flashbang of blinding light to distract them. The Headmistress stumbled back a few steps in recoil, but Selwyn took that opportunity to Apparate away instead of saving his own hide, with Macnair following soon behind.

" _Glacius impedimenta_!" Harry quickly fired the Freeze spell once more, encompassing Carrow from head to toe in ice, freezing him in place like a statue as he did with Selwyn. Frost cascaded down his immobilised state, like a sculpture on display at a Christmas carnival. Dolohov, soon realising they had been overpowered, Apparated quickly away as his cowardly comrades did before him.

Harry turned breathlessly to McGonagall, a little sheepishly, "Perfect timing, Professor."

She didn't look too impressed with him, "Yes, well, I received Miss Weasley's distress call just in time. We've barely managed to contain whatever concoction this lot was brewing, back at Hogsmeade."

Ginny ran immediately over to Harry and threw her arms over him into a tight embrace, but as she pulled away, she then slapped him on the shoulder, " _That_ is for leaving when I told you not to! I _told_ you so, didn't I?"

"Hey, okay!" Harry felt apologetic but didn't know why. The idea wasn't a _total_ disaster, "We got one, didn't we?"

Ginny looked angry with him, "I see that, but that was still _stupid_ of you! I thought at least the Slytherin would have thought this through."

"Hey! This _was_ my idea!" Draco sneered, "Wasn't a total bust!"

"Alright, enough squabbling, " McGonagall cleared her throat amidst the teenage bickering, "The Aurors were able to detain two more Death Eaters. Several Hogsmeade residents were injured. No deaths. However poor miss Parvati Patil was disarmed and captured. Miss Johnson saw it happen and has since been consoling her poor sister."

Harry's heart seemed to drop further into his chest. Another one taken from them.

"Hate to cut the revises short, but we better whisk this one away before he thaws out, " Draco interrupted, eyeing the captive distastefully.

McGonagall looked over at the frozen Death Eater, looking slightly pleased with the state he was in, "Impressive handiwork, " She took several steps towards him, flourishing her wand swiftly, and a large black cloth wrapped itself over his head like a blindfold, for when the spell did revert. She flicked her wand again, and the man's own wand appeared in her possession. She held it up in her hand disgustingly, as if the weapon itself was cursed, "I think it's safe to bring him back to Grimmauld Place. The blindfold will remain once the counter-curse is activated. After Severus can extract what we need, we will send this madman to Azkaban where he belongs. I never want to see this vile excuse for a wizard, nor attack another student again."

Ginny agreed with a smirk, "I can agree with that."

As Harry and Draco prepared to Apparate away with their new captive, McGonagall accompanied Ginny back to others to see who else needed her aid at Hogsmeade in wake of the attack. It appeared as if the other enemies were called off, much to Harry's relief. Not a complete foil of a plan, but it could have gone far worse than it did. McGonagall had informed them that she would meet them back at Headquarters so she could be there to send him away when the time came. She was more than eager for the task.

Grabbing hold of the comically frozen statue of Amycus Carrow, Harry and Draco Disapparated back to Grimmauld Place with their unusual haul.

One step closer.


	52. One Step Closer

* * *

**NOTES:** These chapters from now on are going to get rather plot/character-heavy (if not already LOL), so bear with me! We have about ¼ of the story left, but home stretch…Things are going to get rather crazy and more intense!

* * *

CHAPTER 52: One Step Closer

Upon their arrival back to headquarters in the dark, early hours of the morning, Harry amusingly observed Draco levitating the frozen form of the Death Eater they had managed to capture, through the narrow front doors of Grimmauld Place. Several times, Draco not-so-subtly knocked the frozen enemy against the walls, chuckling with a triumphant glee as he did so. Harry had cast a mild cloaking charm over the Death Eater, as not to rouse suspicion upon the Muggle area they frequented through. It was quite a strange sight, and admittedly, Draco didn't do a terrible job as he weaved the awkward frosted mass down the narrow corridor of the entryway. Once they maneuvered further inwards, Harry heard heavy footsteps begin to descend the staircase from the floor above, watching as Severus Snape stumbled down in hasty strides, grasping the railings tightly as he did so. He did not look well at all and should not even be on his feet. Severus was breathless once he reached the final few stairs, and steadied himself against the wall, eyeing their new unexpected frozen guest in a mix of shock and curiosity. His tired gaze snapped from Draco to Harry, then back at Draco again.

With an outstretched arm, Severus pointed sharply to the descending staircase by the kitchen, "Basement. _Now_ , Draco."

As Draco turned to leave and levitate the captive downstairs, Harry was about to follow the Slytherin, but a vicelike grip clasped onto his upper arm, turning him around. Severus bore his onyx eyes into Harry's bright green ones, until they darted to the large noticeable bruise, with a swollen and bloodied upper lip across one side of his face. A purple bruise was forming from his eye socket, edging all the way to his jawline and chin. Harry's glasses appeared cracked and bent in several places. But that wasn't what had Harry unnerved. He was still staring at Harry lividly as if he were waiting for the Gryffindor to explain himself. Severus knew Harry had been deliberately hit.

The man extended his hand under Harry's chin and turned his head to the side to further examine the horrible blow, looking like he was at the end of his fuse about to explode in a rage.

"…Who did this?" Severus' lip curled, as his voice went cold.

Harry swallowed thickly, "Dolohov."

Severus' mouth twitched, and Harry could tell he was trying his damnest to remain calm, "He could have killed you."

"Yeah, I know. Professor McGonagall came to us in time. We handled it – "

" - That is _not_ the point. Running blindly into the forest by yourselves was the absolute _worst_ thing you could have done."

Harry heaved a tired sigh, "Can we not do this now? We'll brief you downstairs."

" _Not_ so fast, " Severus chose to ignore Harry's previous request, "Who is the unfortunate Death Eater currently occupying the basement?"

"Amycus Carrow."

Severus appeared to flex his fingers by his side, "Hmm. Lucky me. Where is the Headmistress?"

Harry scrunched up his face, confused as to why Severus was questioning him like this, "Attending to the others at Hogsmeade. She said she'd meet us back here…I-Is everything okay?"

Severus' seemed to briefly snap out of his simmering rage, as his eyes then worriedly darted downwards to his previous grip on Harry's arm, likely making sure he didn't intentionally leave a mark. Instead, he reached to grab Harry's arm again – more gently this time – and examined the new burns along his skin. Every blister, burn, shredded skin, lacerations and bruises did not go unnoticed in his thorough investigation of Harry's new ailments. Upon a few minutes of careful inspection of the Gryffindor, Severus glanced back at Harry with eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

Harry cleared his throat, "They attacked with the toxic stuff. We managed to subdue it, but…"

It was difficult to fathom what Severus was feeling at that moment in time. Harry almost had to brace himself for being yelled at due to the man's unpredictability, but he knew as much that he was trying desperately to avoid doing that. Severus' lips twitched occasionally, but he never faltered within his calculative gaze. He could tell he was mad at the state Harry and Draco arrived in, and with their new guest downstairs, the older Slytherin knew that it was dangerous to even attempt such a thing. It was a suicide mission, and Harry knew deep down it could have ended horribly. Everything now was a painfully high risk. Silently, Severus reached into his ever-deep robe pockets and retrieved what Harry noticed was a small black container of bruise salve. He passed it to Harry, and he retrieved it gratefully.

Eventually, Severus released a shuddered breath, not even realising he withheld it in the first place, "I have some burn ointment downstairs, which should relieve your skin momentarily. Any other symptoms I should be aware of?"

Harry shook his head, flexing his aching jaw before he spoke, "Err…No. Look, I don't care about that for now, the burns aren't that bad. Save it for someone else who needs it more than I do. Let's go downstairs and deal with Carrow, so we can finally get rid of him. I don't want to keep him here longer than he needs to."

Severus gave a single small nod but continued to hold his concerned gaze upon Harry. He didn't look angry anymore, but there was something different about him. The man's eyes were slightly red, and he had to wonder what had happened after he left. He looked as if he were about to say something else but couldn't form the right words. Severus lingered on that thought for a few moments, until he finally gave up. Harry watched as he finally turned on his heel and began his descent down into the basement, struggling down the last few steps yet again causing Harry to instinctively grab hold of his arm to steady him as he was close to toppling over.

There was a time when Severus Snape would bat his arm rudely away, but now, it was just another thing he had to deal with in the state he was in. There was no arguing against it anymore, and Harry was still surprised the man trusted him as much.

Once they reached the basement, Severus stopped in front of his frozen ex-colleague; his face twisted in pure loathing and disgust. If looks could kill, Carrow would have been obliterated in an instant. Draco held his wand directed at the Death Eater, awaiting Severus' instructions, but Harry could not peel his sight away from the older Slytherin. An inner wrath was slowly noticeably building within him, as he reached for the handle of his wand concealed within his sleeve. With a quivering hand, he grasped the wand tightly, extending it towards the unfortunate enemy before him.

The next few minutes seemed painfully long, and Harry had to wonder what was going on inside Severus' mind. Harry was half-expecting the familiar flash of vivid green light from the Killing Curse, to illuminate the dull stone basement walls, but nothing of the sort happened.

Suddenly, Harry heard the front door slam shut from above, causing Severus to snap out of his anger-induced reverie. Calling out to the guests above, the basement was about to become slightly more crowded as McGonagall, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione bounded down the stairs to face the others. Harry's friends looked battered and bruised, with some remnants of burns across their skin. Ron had a large cut across his forehead, with dirt covering his slightly torn clothes. Hermione's hair was frazzled, with some spots of blood running through it, hoping that it didn't belong to her. Ginny, as Harry last remembered, still had small burns from their unfortunate encounter with the toxic vapors earlier. But for the most part, it seems they didn't have much time to fix themselves up. They were fatigued and beaten down, but very much alive.

Severus must have noticed the same thing because he finally broke his disgusted gaze off his ex-colleague and turned to the small rickety cabinet beside the potion's workbench. There was a brief silence, as the clinking of glass vials could only be heard as the Slytherin sifted quickly through the available potions and concoctions within their limited stores. Eventually, Severus retrieved a few jars, handing two each to Harry and Ginny.

"Burn salve and murtlap essence. Apply it _immediately_. Miss Weasley, if you could accompany Miss Granger and your brother, and tend to the others with it, that will be most helpful, " Severus spoke firmly, with a hint of agitation within his reverberating voice, "Return here immediately once you do."

Hermione, Ron, and Ginny exchanged glances and nodded collectively upon the request. Harry took his burn salve and began to apply it generously over Ginny's wounds before she turned with the others and made their way upstairs and out of headquarters. Meanwhile, Harry proceeded to apply the salve to his own burns, feeling immediate cool relief as the medicinal concoction began to take effect.

Severus finally turned to McGonagall with a noticeable weariness, "Updates, Minerva?"

McGonagall clasped her hands together in front of her, rolling her wand within her grasp, "No inkling of the whereabouts of Miss Patil, however, there were no reported deaths, from either side. _Many_ injured, however. I contacted Kingsley, and he sent for reinforcements immediately for clean-up duty. We were barely able to contain the poisonous shroud they produced. The residents were petrified with terror – They've never seen anything like it before. Nor, have I."

Severus gave a single nod, "Yes, they have been working on it for weeks. It was a matter of time before they used it on a grander scale."

Harry glanced nervously at Draco, who looked back with equal worry. It was reminiscent of their earlier conversation in their speculation, and he knew Draco was itching to tell him what he thought.

Draco cleared his throat, "It was a test run. Hogsmeade was never the final goal."

McGonagall frowned as if she had just noticed Draco in the room "And what, pray tell, are your thoughts on the matter, Mr. Malfoy?"

"…I think they plan to attack Hogwarts once the new term starts."

"How on _earth_ did you come to that conclusion?"

"Just an educated guess, " Draco explained, wand still pressed towards Carrow, "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? They didn't succeed in taking over the school in the end, so they plan to retaliate in the next best way. Snuff out any students willing to attend this year. Blood status no longer matters to them anymore. It's _revenge_ they want now."

McGonagall's mouth gaped open in shock, as Severus clenched his jaw. Both adults were stunned by the possibility, but as Harry noticed, they were not quick to deny it. It did make perfect sense. Why else would they do it? What would they have to gain by just attacking Hogsmeade? They were aiming for lasting damage, and they were sure as hell going to fight to make that happen in the name of their fallen tyrannical Dark Lord.

Severus wandered gingerly to the workbench and leaned back against it, attempting to steady himself, as he diverted his repulsed sight to Carrow once more, "Of _course_ they would. Otherwise, they would have fled, never to be seen again. Inducing terror is, regrettably, their specialty."

"No…no…That can't be correct? Surely not…" McGonagall shook her head, resting a single palm over her chest, not willing to believe it entirely just yet. The school, within her care, was under threat yet again. Hogwarts meant so much to every ally within that room, and for the chance that more innocent lives could be lost next month, was a suffocating blow to them all.

"I'm afraid it makes perfect sense, Minerva, " Severus looked sadly at McGonagall, "We are treading on _dangerous_ ground. If we don't end this now, many more lives will be in _terrible_ danger."

"Then let's hurry and see what _this_ one knows, " Harry spoke bitterly, nudging in the direction of their frozen enemy. He was getting slightly impatient, but above all else, very uneasy with the torturous Death Eater stuck within their midst.

Severus outstretched his wand arm at the Death Eater and held it there for several moments when eventually he realised that his magic was still rather minimal. Growling under his breath, he dropped his wand arm frustratingly by his side, looking at McGonagall shamefully for assistance. Understanding the problem, McGonagall took a few steps forward and flickered her wand several times towards the Death Eater. Slowly, the ice encasing him began to melt slowly as Carrow began to show movement. Tapping her wand again, one of the wooden chairs slid over the stone floors with an agonising screech, forcefully being thrown behind his legs enabling him to collapse back into the chair. Immediately, chains were transfigured and conjured, wrapping around the man several times, binding him down. Draco turned around and began to cast warded enchantments around the room, preventing him from leaving as a precautionary measure.

The blindfold was still over Carrow's head, as he began to attempt to wriggle himself free, but was unsuccessful. Once he realised he was going nowhere, he stopped moving and simply gave a heavy sigh, "You're all far too late."

Harry looked over at Severus, who was itching to place his hands around the man's neck in fury. Much to Harry's relief, so far, he was able to contain himself. Instead, Severus took a few steps towards him and roughly pulled the blindfold off, staring venomously into the eyes of his ex-colleague.

" _Amycus_."

Carrow chuckled, clearly looking irritatingly delighted as his smile beamed, "Severus! I was wondering where you found a hideaway to crawl _cowardly_ into. Getting the students to do your dirty work? Though I daresay, you've seen better days, old friend."

Severus smirked coldly, "Where's your other half? Your dreadful sister rightfully met her end. What a pity. Who was the lucky one who ended her life?"

The Death Eater's smile faded immediately as he narrowed his eyes, face now contorted in pure loathing, saying nothing in response to the ridicule as he pressed his lips shut.

And yet, Severus continued to taunt him, "Who killed her? Professor? Student? Trampled by a centaur?"

"That crazy blonde-haired Ravenclaw _bitch_ – a student – looks like she was as dazed as a fairy! She stunned my sister, but she…she hit her head - " Carrow spat.

_Luna?!_

Severus looked like he had to think on that for a moment, until realisation hit his face, "Ah, Miss Luna Lovegood? I'm impressed. Five points to Ravenclaw, for ending one-half of Hogwarts' infamous torturers, " He leaned closer to Carrow, his smirk now molded into an ugly sneer, looking far more dangerous than the enemy bound before them, "Now listen _carefully_ , Amycus. There is no good end for you while I am present. Either way, I will extract what I need from your mind in the most _efficient_ way I know how. Furthermore, you _will_ answer any question I ask. Your pathetic reign ends here."

Carrow appeared outraged, as he looked around the room at the others staring him down with equal malice. McGonagall's wand twitched by her side, almost ready to hex the man to oblivion herself. Draco still had his wand pointed towards his throat, eager to do the same. There was so much hatred contained within this room, that it was almost reminiscent of the times Voldemort would break into Harry's mind, encompassing him with such an alien, vile, malicious rage that always felt so out of place within his very core. Every single person within that room had the desire to lash out, but it was a sheer matter of self-control to quell those terrible desires. Even Harry had the urge to reach over and bust his jaw much in the same fashion Dolohov had done to himself.

"Do what you will, traitor. I owe you nothing, " Carrow seethed through his yellowed teeth.

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Say's the _imbecile_ foiled by a rebellious band of mere students. You really are daft, aren't you?"

Carrow suddenly snorted, "Because you were too _weak_ to do it yourself? Oh, _please_. All you did was hide away in your ivory tower, while my sister and I took _pleasure_ in torturing your precious students."

"And yet you never noticed fewer students under your control? I sent students to alternative detentions to spare them from your wrath. Inconspicuously, of course. That, and another student were harboring the others in a sanctuary you could _never_ find. Hidden, and protected."

Carrow looked unimpressed, "You know, I never did understand what you saw in them. The students. You spent so many years cowering behind Albus Dumbledore for protection, that the role of Professor seemed to change you. And now suddenly you were willing to sacrifice your pitiful life – For _them_? You grew soft. "

Severus stared blankly back at him, ignoring his comment about Albus, "Yes. And I would gladly do it again. And again. And _again_. I am not the heartless fool you all presumed I was. "

"You're still a fool, Severus. The Dark Lord's favorite potion's-obsessed pet. You could have been _great_. All that talent _wasted_."

"Greatness does not sit well with me, Amycus. Your master offered us no reprieve. No hope. No exit, but death. As for you - You will live out the rest of your days in a tiny cell. It's a pity Dementors are no longer in use for you."

Carrow raised his chin defiantly, but merely returned a twisted smile, "Do your worst, although you don't have the spine to torture me."

Severus inclined his head to the others by his side, without breaking his venomous eye contact upon the enemy, "Any last words, before I invade his _wretched_ mind?" Harry, Draco, and McGonagall collectively shook their heads silently – It was clear that everyone _did_ have something to say, but to use such energy towards the Death Eater would be a waste and not worth it in the long run. Severus eagerly turned back towards Carrow and suddenly clasped his left hand and wrapped it around the man's neck under his jaw, nails digging into his skin like talons. He began to squeeze, and Harry could hear Carrow begin to struggle against the hold as he let out a small gasp for breath. With his other hand, he raised his wand, as a victorious gleam shone within his obsidian eyes taking pleasure in what he was about to do next. " _Legilimens_!"

Harry watched as Severus stared directly into the eyes of his enemy, bending slightly over so that he was level with him as he performed the spell. It was strange seeing Legilimency being performed from a third-person view, rather than the one of his own. There was nothing too magical about it from this angle, but as Severus held his steely gaze, Carrows' eyes seemed to flutter from the harsh, forceful connection as his mind was being poked and prodded. The entire process did not take long, as soon enough, Severus broke away so suddenly, stumbling back unsteadily until he hit the potions workbench painfully behind him. Harry looked back at Carrow, worried that he may have done something to Severus. But he was surprised to find that he had also recoiled, but Draco kept his position and wand trained sharply on him as a precaution.

"Severus, are you alright?" McGonagall asked in a slightly panicked tone, as she placed a reassuring hand on Severus' shoulder. She watched as the man grasped the sides of the table to hold himself up, turning his back to the bound enemy.

There was a pause as several heaved breaths were released from Severus, as he fought desperately to regain composure. His face was white as a sheet, looking close to toppling over. He squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, "…Vision spinning…Just give me a moment…"

Draco sneered at Carrow still bound within his chair, who was beginning to realise the state he was in. But the younger Slytherin made the decision to usher a non-verbal stunning spell, knocking the Death Eater out entirely. McGonagall shot him a bewildered look over her shoulder, and Draco merely shrugged, " _What_? I couldn't stand to listen to his voice anymore. Besides, I think it's safe to say that we have what we need."

Harry nodded in confirmation, as he would have likely done the same thing. But as the Gryffindor looked at the unconscious form of Amycus Carrow slumped over into the chair, he noticed his black robes caked with a dull red substance. Curiously, he took a few steps towards him, and grabbed hold of the hem of the man's robes, looking at it closely. Feeling the material under his grasp, Harry felt a powdery substance coating the man's robes. Like red, dried mud.

Draco looked at Harry in understanding, "The red powder that Blaise had mentioned."

Harry felt the substance within his hands, observing it carefully, but he had no idea what it was. Instead, he turned to see McGonagall assisting Severus carefully onto the nearby chair.

"Did Carrow throw you out?" Harry curiously asked Severus.

Severus managed to open his eyes again, which appeared to be something he struggled with as he winced painfully, " _Not_ quite. I was unable to keep a grasp on him due to my faltering magic. However, I did procure some images that may prove useful. I just…need time to regain strength…That was unforeseen."

"Amycus has that same red powder on his robes that we mentioned a while back, " Draco stated, "Would you like me to take a sample?"

Severus gave a single nod, rubbing his temple as he did so, "Yes, that will be wise. I will examine it later. For now…Get this man _out_ of my sight, before I choke him so violently that his eyeballs will pop out of his hollow skull."

"Thank you for that imagery, Severus, " McGonagall clutched her wand tightly within her hand, with a look of distaste across her face as she looked at Carrow, "I will take him immediately. I, too, no longer want to lay eyes on him again. There are not enough words to describe my fury upon his presence here…" The Headmistress cast several charms on the enemy, silencing him and casting a body-bind, as she levitated the man out of the basement and disappeared from Grimmauld Place with Amycus Carrow in tow.

"Are you alright, Severus? You're not going to keel over on us, are you?" Draco asked gingerly, as he slowly approached his Godfather.

"Aside from a _splitting_ headache, I seem to still be intact, " Severus groaned lightly under his breath, "I have brewed nothing to help me as such."

"Let me do it. Do you need anything else?"

"A few rounds of firewhiskey should do it, " Severus responded in dull sarcasm.

Draco smirked, rather mischievously, " _Not_ for you."

As Draco remained behind to tend to the potion's workbench, Harry assisted Severus up to the sitting room so the man could attempt to rest. It was incredibly late, but so much had just happened, and so there was no way either of them was getting a wink of rest at that point. Severus now had the memories needed to find the others, and Harry was also eager to know what they were. Once he had an image, they could further narrow down their searches and finally be one step closer to ending this. Harry held the tiny container filled with the powder sample that Draco had scraped off the Death Eater's robes, hoping they could further discover what it was. But given Severus' unfortunate side-effect of Legilimency whilst a curse was gnawing at him from within, Harry understood that he needed time to recover.

Severus stumbled over to the couch, clutching at its edge desperately, as a wave of dizziness continued to spin around him. The darkened room only lit by the glowing embers of the fireplace, but the enchanted ceiling above littered the ceiling with a dazzling array of stars of the night sky. Harry and Severus sat in silence in the time it took Draco to prepare the extra potions downstairs. The older Slytherin occasionally closed his eyes, but the frozen grimace on his pale face indicated to Harry that he still succumbed to the piercing headache as he had before.

It was barely an hour later when Hermione, Ron, and Ginny finally returned to Grimmauld Place just shy of three in the morning. But neither of them had any energy to discuss anything that had happened, so they stumbled directly upstairs to their usual reserved rooms to get themselves cleaned up and attempt some sleep instead. The following day will likely be busy debriefing, so neither of them said a word again at that point, as they were all succumbed by sheer exhaustion. Eventually, Draco made his way up to them and delivered four vials of a pale orange shimmery liquid and handed one to Severus who downed one immediately, wasting not a precious drop. Barely three minutes later the older Slytherin finally drifted off to sleep with a light snore, content with the potion taking some of that edge off to allow him to finally rest.

Satisfied, Draco dragged himself up to his room without a word, while Harry settled upon the couch again. Sometimes the couch was comfier than the bed, but at least one of them could stay with the ill wizard in case anything went awry.

Every part of his body ached as if he had been running all night. His face felt like it was on fire, as every facial movement caused him some discomfort. Grimacing with the aching pain, Harry retrieved the bruise salve that Severus had given him earlier and began to apply it generously over the side of his face. After he applied it gingerly over the bruise, he re-capped the jar and placed it on the table in front of him.

It didn't take long until Harry himself drifted off to sleep, as exhaustion completely overtook him as soon as his head rested upon the pillow.

* * *

Harry was awoken that morning by the gentle nudges of Godric, who had perched himself on the armrest next to his head. It took a while for the Gryffindor to blearily open his eyes, as he looked over to the grandfather clock in the corner – It was nine thirty-five in the morning. Harry shifted himself further upright on the sofa, feeling something slide off his chest. With Seeker reflexes, he caught it before it hit the floor.

It was an envelope.

Harry reached over to scratch Godric, feeling his feathered head nestle comfortably against his hand. Finally, he slowly rose up, being careful not to awaken the sleeping Slytherin, and made his way out of the room. Godric flexed his wings hopping over to the other couch, as he decided to station himself beside Severus instead – Harry couldn't help but smile at the irony of it.

Once he entered the corridor, Harry flipped over the envelope. It was addressed to Severus Snape.

_Why did Godric give this to me, instead?_

Harry scrunched up his face, torn over whether to open it – He didn't exactly want a repeat of the Pensieve incident. Although it didn't appear to have any noticeable seal on it, so it definitely didn't come from the Ministry or Hogwarts, for that matter. But who else…?

_Oh. Maybe, The Quibbler?_

Perhaps someone had written a letter in response to it? Harry had collaborated with the article, along with Hermione and a few others, so technically this wasn't an entire breach in privacy. Besides, the entire idea of the article was to inform the wizarding world of the man's heroics, and not all the misinformation and exaggerated lies that were spread by Rita Skeeter. If Severus was going to receive a letter in response to that, Harry had to make sure that was it was a positive one. Not one further condemning him to his grave. Severus already had enough going on and receiving hate mail was not going to make matters any easier. But as that article was written under Harry's name, perhaps it made sense for some of the letters to be redirected to him instead. After all, Severus Snape was still in hiding, and no else knew where he was.

With that thought in mind, Harry drew a deep breath as he tore the envelope as discreetly as he could and retrieved the folded piece of inked parchment inside.

_To Severus Snape,_

_I hope this letter finds you, somehow – I've been told you're a tough one to find! Honestly, I was hesitant upon writing anything, but anyway…You probably don't remember me. I read the article in The Quibbler in regards of what you did. Although I left Hogwarts about twelve years ago, I do remember you teaching Potions in the time I was there. I was the Hufflepuff who blew up my cauldron by adding unicorn horn instead of bicorn horn – It was like a shower of glitter in the Potion's lab. Earned me nice month of detention in my sixth year (and glitter remnants for days)._

_Anyway, the point of this letter is…more of a thank you. I'm a Healer at St. Mungo's now (Don't laugh! I'm not as bad at Potions as I once were!), and to know that you were largely responsible for the downfall of You-Know-Who – I'm deeply in awe. I don't want to get too sappy in this letter as you'd find it repulsing and I'll keep it somewhat short, but it's true. I lost several family members in the Second War, and because of you, I don't have to fear of losing anymore. All this time, you worked in silence, and no one ever really knew. I heard about all the terrible things that happened. I can't imagine how difficult that would have been, especially after enduring so much hatred from people who didn't know the truth, until the end._

_But now, it's all over, and the magical community owes you so much. You deserve an Order of Merlin! Honestly, though – Consider this a genuine letter of support._

_(Maybe a smile won't be so bad, now? I hope my terrible sense of humor at least did the trick)_

_Thank you. Truly._

_Kind regards, Melody Rose O'Halloran_

With a goofy grin upon his face, Harry folded the letter up neatly and placed it back within its envelope. This was it. This was what Harry had hoped for – Letters of support. People who finally realised what he had given up, and what he sacrificed. And to read a letter by an ex-student whose unfortunate Potions mishap felt like something Harry would have done, was rather heart-warming. Well, the letter itself was also a boost of confidence for Harry himself, even though the letter was in no way directed at him. He didn't care, though. He didn't do this for himself.

Harry had to wonder what to do with the letter. Should he give it to him now? Harry knew the conversation regarding _The Quibbler_ may not go so well with Severus, as the man may not completely understand why Harry went to those lengths. He knew he'd be mad about it. But Severus himself needed to hear those kinds of words, even from someone he didn't know well. Or at all. That itself would have a big impact. To know that you are not as hated as you think you are, could do so much good for him. Harry ended up settling upon the idea of leaving the letter in Severus' room, so he can find it in his own time. Perhaps he'll discover it later, but for now, Harry marched up the staircase and placed the letter at Severus' bedside table amongst the array of potions, so it would not go unnoticed. Harry felt he made the right call in screening the letter, so after further thought, he didn't feel so terrible about it. Besides, Godric did pass the letter directly to him.

Perhaps the bird was smarter than he thought.

Wandering back downstairs, Harry entered the kitchen to find Kreacher preparing a late breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausages, potato patties, and sauteed spinach which definitely had a little too much garlic than it should have had. Around the table, Ron, Hermione, Ginny – and to his great surprise, Draco – sitting and eating together silently except the clinking of cutlery against their plates. As Harry walked in, they all stopped to watch him - Everyone appeared in terrible shape.

Harry took a seat beside Ginny and immediately reached for the pitcher of coffee, still somewhat half-asleep. The room was still silent, and Harry was getting uncomfortable with it, so he briefly cleared his throat, "We have a lot to talk about regarding, well…last night."

"It was flippin' pandemonium, that's what it was, " Ron spoke with slight distaste, as he shoveled a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

Hermione lowered her voice, "How did the, well, interrogation go?"

"Severus got what he needed, so that's the main thing, " Harry responded, purposely leaving out the part where everyone in that room wanted to choke the living daylights out of the enemy.

"I _should_ have Crucio'd the bastard, " Draco clasped his hands tightly around his knife and fork, looking close to driving the cutlery into the wooden table.

Ron turned to glare sourly at Draco, "Oi, calm down."

" _Calm_ down?!"

"Boys, _enough_ already. Honestly!" Ginny spoke firmly, reprimanding the two, as she turned her attention back to Harry, "…What did Snape see?"

Harry shrugged, "Not sure yet. He didn't react well using Legilimency, so we let him rest. Hopefully, he can share that with us today so we can finally figure this out."

"I've got a spare vial, so he can extract those memories for us, and then we can go to Hogwarts and use the Pensieve, " Hermione suggested, "Besides, I have to tend to the other potions while I'm there. I commenced the third one a few days ago."

Harry nodded, "Good. With those memories, I hope it's enough to finally track them down."

"It's still better than the _nothing_ we have already, " Ron said.

"Last night was close, " Ginny took a small sip of her juice, "We barely got it under control, but it could have gotten much worse than it did. Thank Merlin for the residents, though. It was good to see Hagrid join us."

"We need to better prepare for that toxic stuff. I get the feeling it wasn't _completely_ finished, " Draco added, "Whatever our plan is, we need to make sure we are armed with potions and salves next time. Those burns could have killed us if we were exposed to it long enough."

"For once, I agree with Malfoy, " Ron nodded, "Those tossers _knew_ what they were doing. They pushed us further into the village, already intoxicated with those fumes, while they attacked us from behind."

"It was a death trap, " Harry said bluntly, as he picked up his mug of coffee, and cradled it within his hands, "This was definitely a learning curve for us. We'll know better for next time."

The group spent the next hour retelling the events of the night and swapping tales over what they had seen and experienced. Everyone had a different recount, as they all seemed to have been fighting something different. From the Death Eaters, to the Acromantula's, to the Dementors, and even the noxious gas…Ron had mentioned he even encountered a single giant on his end of the village, which was eventually taken down by five adult wizards. Harry and Draco gave the others a recap over their little adventure in the forest, and their encounter with Dolohov, Selwyn, Macnair, and Carrow, along with McGonagall and Ginny saving their backsides in time.

The conversation began grimly, but as it progressed, everyone was sharing stories of the fighters that came to their aid. Harry had to wonder how some of them knew, but in the end, it didn't really matter. They had strength in numbers this time, and that was the most important for their survival. They even came out of the fight without a single death. That had to be a record. After all, those that had been lost even after the demise of Voldemort, it was a welcome reprieve.

Hermione handed the empty vial to Harry, as he made his way upstairs to Severus carrying a few remnants of breakfast that he likely wouldn't even touch. But he had to at least make the attempt where Severus ate something or not. As persistent as Harry was, Severus would not listen to him when it came to keeping an appetite. Harry found it rather peculiar how the tides had changed when he himself couldn't bear to touch any food for a while, and Severus made sure he ate before he left the table. Unfortunately, Harry could not emulate Severus in that way, and sometimes it was best not to force the issue upon the grumpy ex-Professor.

Harry reached the sitting room, with the rest of the group in tow. Severus was already sitting up, running his hands through his unkempt hair, staring the owl down perched beside him looking mildly annoyed by his feathered guard.

_Good boy, Godric. I might have to start giving those treats Hagrid gave me._

Severus glanced up wearily to find the others piling in, and arched his eyebrow, "Ah. The cavalry is here."

Harry, Hermione, and Ginny occupied the couch opposite to Severus, while Ron leaned against the opposite armrest. Draco, however, leaned forward with hands clasped on the back headrest of the single armchair a few paces away from the other Gryffindors. Severus, at it appeared, looked rather amused by this. He did not speak another word, as he simply held out his palm instead. Harry reached out to place the empty vial within his hand, as they all watched him gently extract several silvery wisps from his temple with his wand and placed it carefully into the vial with precision despite his tremoring hands. Once he was done, he re-corked the vial and passed it back over to Harry.

Severus crossed his arms tightly over his chest, and leaned back, "Once you lot are finished viewing the memories, you are to return here as we have a lot to discuss. Miss Granger, if you could return all of the books in your possession pertaining to your research upon your venture back, we can begin to properly sift through them with the correct information in mind."

Hermione nodded obediently, "Yes, sir."

"So, what do you think _this_ stuff is?" Draco reached over and passed the small container of the powdered substance they extracted from the robes of Carrow.

Severus took the container, and opened its lid, wafting it under his nose several times. The look of concentration the man had, reminded Harry of when he usually assessed their Potions in class. Every ounce of it was analysed and carefully observed, and nothing went unnoticed. They knew that if anyone could figure this out, it was Severus Snape. Harry watched as Severus dipped his fingers inside of the jar and pressed the strange powder between his fingers, analysing every single grain. Some of the dust rained down along his black robes, but Severus continued to eye it with interest.

After what seemed like ages had passed, Severus pursed his lips in deep thought, "It appears to be some type of clay. Ochre, if I'm not mistaken – a natural earth pigment, which contains ferric oxide – "

" - One of the three main oxides of iron. The red occurs naturally as hematite ore and rust, " Hermione accidentally cut Severus off, earning a dull dismissive glare from the older Slytherin. She looked sheepish, "…Sorry, sir."

"You are, correct, Miss Granger, " Severus blatantly ignored her apology, and continued, "This alone will be enough to narrow down our search, but those memories will ensure we are accurate. To my knowledge, there may very well be a handful of caves containing this type of mineral specifically for mining purposes, and thus, we need not waste time planning an attack at the _wrong_ location."

"Brilliant. There's that mystery solved, " Harry let out a welcome sigh of relief.

"Somewhat, however, this new information is indeed… _promising_ , "Severus' eyes darted to each teenager individually, "How are your injuries? Do you require any further aid?" Everyone else shook their heads in response, leaving Severus satisfied, "Very well. Now go – We have a busy afternoon ahead of us. Make haste."

Harry reached into his pocket and took out the small pouch of owl treats that Hagrid had given him. He reached in, extracted a single treat, and held his hand out to Godric who took it eagerly, "Godric – You stay here with Severus, okay? Nip his fingers if he tries to leave."

Severus raised his brows, "…I _beg_ your pardon?"

"Well, stay put then. It's either him or Kreacher."

Draco couldn't help but chuckle under his breath, earning a scowl from Severus himself. Without a word, the five of them departed Grimmauld Place and continued on their travels to Hogwarts. Clutching the vial of Carrow's memories within his hand – Causing Harry to shudder at the idea of it – they made their way towards the Headmistress' office in their bid to gain access to the Pensieve. They traveled in silence, as neither of them dared to usher another word. Harry could sense everyone's nervousness upon what they were likely to find in these memories. Once they entered the familiar office, they encountered Professor McGonagall by her desk, scratching away at several rolls of parchment; some so long, that they fell to the floor.

She looked up in surprise, lowering her quill aside from the parchment, "Well, well. I sure hope you were all able to get some measure of rest." She watched as the teenagers piled into the room but frowned once she noticed Draco still amongst the group. It seems she was still rather unsettled by the prospect of his involvement but given he has been a huge help so far, she was able to hold her tongue.

Harry held up the vial of the silvery strands of memories floating around within its glass containment, "We have them."

McGonagall nodded, as she placed the quill back in its holder, rising up from her desk to join them by the Pensieve. Uncorking the vial, Harry poured the disgustingly tainted silvery contents of the memories into the silver dish of the Pensieve and watched as they swirled around aimlessly. There was silence among them, as each person hesitated to move closer. No one wanted to see them, but it was necessary. Harry could only hope that Severus was considerate enough to leave out the horrible ones but given the state of the ex-Professor after the extraction, he must have frantically sifted through whatever memories he could obtain in the single chance he had. They could not afford to be too particular at this point. Any memories were better than none.

"…Gee, everyone's eager, " Ron said sarcastically.

Harry merely shrugged, "Fine, I'll go first. I want to get this over and done with." Without a second look over to the others, Harry leaned forward and lowered his head into the Pensieve. Immediately, his mind became absorbed into the silvery strands, allowing his vision to take upon its own journey into the unfortunate twisted mind of Amycus Carrow.

_Everything went black at first. It was almost as if he opened his eyes in a pitch-black room. And yet all Harry could hear was the thumping of his own pulse loudly within his ears. His heart beat faster and faster in heavy anticipation, and Harry could only wish to turn back again._

_But it was too late._

_Some sounds could be heard, and yet nothing could yet be seen._

_He heard an echo of wailing. Children…Young children. They were sobbing…distraught. Some were hysterically inconsolable. But amongst the cries he could hear a vile chuckle – It was unmistakably Amycus Carrow. He knew this because he heard that same chuckle not too long ago when Severus was questioning him._

_Harry could hear the sounds of rusty chains against the stone floor at what could only be the dungeons, as soon as the other one – Alecto – yelled out the Cruciatus curse. For once, Harry was thankful he could not see this. Hearing it was agonising enough. He didn't want to see the children being tortured…He wanted so desperately to silence those sounds, but he couldn't._

_But he got his wish, as that audio memory washed away when flashes of the vision finally came into view._

_He watched helplessly as he saw Amycus backhand a Gryffindor first year, as the child fell dangerously to the floor, clutching an injured wrist. The memory changed again, and this time Amycus was brandishing a whip, descending on a second-year Ravenclaw who was cowering in the corner._

_The memory changed again. This time he saw Neville standing up against Amycus, remaining defiantly in front of a group of younger students who appeared to be placed in detention. Neville stood his ground, refusing to be the elected punisher upon the students, when a flash of silver of a knife sliced through the air, creating a gash upon Neville's face._

_Another flash, and the vision distorted to see Michael Corner – A Ravenclaw – attempt to free a chained student but was subjected to violent torture in the process. The vision changed again, and this time it showed a memory that Harry knew already – The moment Amycus chose to spit in McGonagall's face, causing an enraged Harry to retaliate and cast the Cruciatus upon him._

_The memory changed again, this time in rapid succession…A flaming battlefield of Hogwarts, showing the Carrow siblings retaliating against the students, locked in a vicious duel…Luna sent a stunning spell at Alecto, as she went flying through and air, and hit the ground with a sickening crack…Post-battle, where Amycus fled after the downfall of Voldemort…The Death Eaters re-grouping at Little Hangleton Graveyard near the Gaunt Manor, as they frantically discussed their next options…A flash of an area Harry recognised as the Misty Dell…Then the attack at the Quarry where they fled…A tunnel…Dark passageway…A blue luminescent cave room with a small underground lake…The ground littered with the clay-like red pigment…Several students encased in a magical webbed cage….Harry noticed Lee, Parvati, Neville, Narcissa, among others…Bound and trapped. Watching the other Death Eaters torture the others for pleasure while they waited and allowed their handiwork to be on display._

_There were dozens of captives – all locked up, bound, and chained. Some were in cages, some weren't._

_They looked bruised and battered. Weary, and defeated. Deans' parents – as Harry guessed – clutched each other in a terrified embrace. Dozens of others, cramped together in cells, losing all hope for any rescue. Harry noticed a small, heaped pile in on the other side of those who had perished during their captivity…Harry wanted to hurl so badly. It was repulsing…Burning bile could be felt rising within his throat…_

Suddenly, the Pensieve threw him out with such force, that Harry hit the stone floor. His face was sickly white, as he succumbed with nausea while his stomach churned disturbingly within him. He instantly regretted his earlier breakfast. He felt Ginny drop down beside him, offering a comforting hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles as he tried desperately to compose himself. Eventually, after several deep breaths, Harry scrambled to the stairs and sat down on top of them.

He looked up at the others, who looked too frightened to approach the Pensieve upon Harry's reaction to it. After a few moments, Harry spoke with a broken voice, "You don't have to see them. It's…" Harry wrapped his arms over his stomach, wishing could forget what he had just seen.

Ginny leaned against Harry's shoulder, clasping Harry's clammy hands within hers, "I'd rather not see it. I witnessed enough of his attacks this year – "

McGonagall lowered herself onto the chair in front of her desk, studying Harry carefully, "…Are the other's safe?"

Harry truly didn't know how to respond to that, "I…I don't know, Professor. They looked in bad shape. Some of them…died. No one I recognised, though. It was hard to tell…" It wasn't until he looked down did, he realise his hands were shaking, "We don't know when the last memories took place. Could be days, weeks…"

The Headmistress soon made the decision not to see the memories, as with Ginny sticking by her word. Draco decided to view the memories, alongside Ron without a second thought. Harry himself was surprised to find that Hermione eventually decided to follow the others and witness it for herself. After all, Harry really needed her help in finding this place, and with all the research she had begun with already, she was not about to refuse this chance to get ahead of the game. But once Hermione came to, she became teary and Ron had to pull her away from the office to console her. It was then that Harry and the rest of his crew decided to make their way back to Grimmauld Place to further figure this out.

They had all had enough.

The memories at the end had Harry rather curious. Why on earth would he see the memories pertaining to the Misty Dell and the Tintern Quarry? Both places that they have visited previously before. Was it something they missed? It didn't make a whole lot of sense, but with the pieces of information they did have, perhaps they could discover something that all of them had seemingly overlooked. Harry couldn't help shake the feeling that they had overlooked something incredibly important.

Hermione and Ron stayed back at Hogwarts briefly, with Ginny volunteering to scour the library for any additional books that they may need. Meanwhile, Harry and Draco piled back within Grimmauld Place, but neither was unable to fathom what they had just seen within the memories. Harry clasped the re-extracted vial of Amycus' memories, trying desperately to fight the temptation to destroy it in the palm of his hand. Instead, he stashed the vial back into his pocket not wanting to think about it ever again.

Draco fled back to his room to gather his thoughts, as Harry went to see Severus whom he found sitting in the kitchen by himself in the darkened corner, nursing a mug of ginger tea in his hands. He sat in his usual black attire, minus his traveling cloak, with the top few buttons, left undone to make room for his bandage. Until the others return, they couldn't discuss their findings just yet. For now, even Harry needed some time to process what he had just witnessed, so instead, Harry went to join the older Slytherin and sat down across from him at the kitchen table. A few moments passed by, as Severus noticed how pale Harry had looked. Without a word, he reached over to the tray of tea, and poured a second mug for Harry, perfect to quell the nausea. Those memories were not easy to watch. Grateful, Harry retrieved the mug and immediately took a sip, feeling a warmth wash over him in welcome relief.

"The others will be back soon, " Harry cleared his throat, as he ran his hand through his messy hair, "You know, you could have left out the Hogwarts stuff."

Severus tilted his head slightly, "You try extracting specific memories from a sadistic _beast_. I could barely hold my focus. Believe me, there were images of his I wish I never had to witness."

Harry mumbled, "You and me, both."

"Rather admirable - _and_ foolish - of you to curse Amycus with the Cruciatus as you did once he spat at Minerva. However, I would not have hesitated to do the same, if not, _far_ worse, " Severus spoke sternly, frowning in all seriousness.

Harry merely shrugged, "He was lucky that was all I did."

Severus snorted briefly for a moment, "Despite making my job irritatingly _more_ difficult, you made the right call in not returning for your seventh year."

"I think about that often, to be honest. I'd hate to think what would have happened if I did. Especially because I wanted _you_ dead above all else – " Harry agreed, as he cradled the warm tea within his hands. " - Yeah, that was for the best."

"Not what I meant, but yes. That is also true, " Severus eyed Harry cautiously, "However, had you stayed, you would not have been able to hunt and destroy those Horcrux' in order to weaken the Dark Lord beforehand… _Therefore_ , the Hogwarts fight would have happened far sooner, and everyone would have perished. Or fled. Either way, the Dark Lord would have been invulnerable and victorious once more."

Harry was silent for a moment. He wasn't wrong, of course. Although he could not be there for the other students upon the reign of the Carrows, it was the right choice to have fled, as much as it killed Harry within to do so. Had he stayed - How would Severus have informed him of the plan? Given their then-relationship, it would have been far more disastrous. But also, in the context of the Horcruxes – Voldemort would have still remained in power, and they would have lost far more people in the fight. The thought itself was sickening. How many more people would have died? His chest tightened at the thought.

Harry arched his head towards the Slytherin, "Why do you still call him the Dark Lord? He's dead. He's not going to come after you anymore."

Severus hesitated slightly at the question, "When you spend years under his brutal command and watching your fellow comrades tortured or slaughtered before your eyes if you addressed him incorrectly – You learn quickly if you want your life to be spared."

"Yeah, but…he's _gone_ now. "

Severus stared him down sharply, "I _realise_ that Harry, but it's – " The man sighed, " - He instilled _fear_ within us for years upon that name. For the same reason people were afraid to speak it for decades. It is far more difficult for _me_ to break out of it than it was for you to so carelessly throw it around."

"Well, if Neville can do it, I'm sure you can too."

Severus' eyes grew comically wide, "…Did you _seriously_ just compare me to Mr. Longbottom?"

Harry had to stifle a laugh, "I didn't mean it like that."

Despite Severus' mild look of disgust, he raised his brow, "I must say… Mr. Longbottom's overconfidence upon the last year was surely a surprise. He certainly had a fight within him I didn't realise he had. "

"Considering he was the one who killed Nagini, I can't imagine him ever _wilfully_ submitting. I just hope he holds his tongue long enough not to bait them into using him as a punching bag, " Harry gave a heavy, tired sigh, "I don't want to find him beaten into a bloody pulp."

The Slytherin's gaze softened, placing a single pale hand on the table, "We _are_ close to finding them, Harry. It'll be pointless if I were to tell you not to worry."

"I'm just…Sick of all this, you know?" Harry stared hopelessly into his mug as if he were looking for an answer in one of Trelawney's ridiculous tea reading classes.

Severus nodded wearily, "I understand that completely. We will have our resolve, I'm sure of it."

"I keep telling myself that, yet I don't _believe_ it. One step forward, five steps back. It's always been that way."

Severus raised an eyebrow, as he spoke softly, " _Nothing_ is ever easy, and that will never change. Surely you know that by now."

Harry nodded but did not respond to that remark. Instead, he allowed a short, comfortable silence to pass, "Severus…Look, I didn't mean to worry you when I returned from Hogsmeade last night. Malfoy and I made a collective decision, and we went for it. Call us reckless, but it was worth it for those memories."

Severus clenched his jaw, "Yes, well, every time I see you, you return with yet _another_ injury. I cannot help but be concerned when I am unable to be there myself. Besides, a Death Eater is _never_ worth your life. "

"As you said, nothing is ever easy."

Severus stared at Harry, during a long and heavy silence. He continued to clasp the mug of tea within his pallid hands, as Harry noticed he didn't drink again during their conversation. He could hear the familiar crackling of the man's lungs with every inhale and exhale, and at times, Harry could see him struggling with what is meant to be a simple task, grimacing on occasion. It was obvious to Harry that he was trying desperately to mask his own pain and discomfort, and it was getting horribly worse by the day. Harry felt guilty, and he didn't know why.

Despite that, instead, the corner of the Slytherin's lips twitched in a half-smile which seemed to deter Harry from his own thoughts unexpectedly, "…How _ever_ did we get here? Gone are the days when I could address you with _Mr_. _Potter,_ without a second thought, or concern."

Harry was taken aback by the sudden rhetorical question. All he could do was give a small shrug, "Considering neither of us should be alive right now, I think we've both shocked ourselves, to be honest."

" _Somewhat_."

"So…Do you still regret not leaving now?" Harry asked, tilting his head curiously.

There was a short pause from the Slytherin, as he eventually shook his head, albeit slowly, "…Not anymore."

Harry gave a relieved smile, satisfied with that response, "Good. Because I'm really glad you didn't. See? I'm not so bad. If you gave me a chance at all before, _maybe_ , we could have mended this sooner. _Somehow_."

Severus' jaw clenched, wincing slightly at the last remark before he looked away, "It was never that simple – I kept my distance from you for _several_ reasons. You still grated my nerves, _however_ …It was always a challenge when you looked like a spitting image of your father. "

"But _that_ was never my fault, " Harry spoke calmly.

"No…It was _mine_ , " Severus sighed, dismally, once he ran a shaky hand over his gaunt face, before his saddened dark eyes locked onto Harry's brighter ones, "I should _never_ have blamed you for the actions of your father. I am aware of that now. I sought pathetic justice in the wrong individual. _Seeing_ you, was a painful reminder of…My greatest mistakes. What he did to me…I could _never_ forget or forgive. In more ways than one, Harry, but I do not expect you to _fully_ comprehend that, nor those reasons why. "

Harry looked at the older Slytherin with desperation clear within his voice, "I'm _trying_ to understand, though. Just – "

" - You couldn't. Not this time."

"Try me."

"I do _not_ wish to discuss this with you, " Severus said strongly, as he slowly rose from his chair now abandoning his half mug of cold tea. It was obvious that he wanted to avoid this conversation, and he usually did this every time he couldn't face the end of it. It was a little frustrating to Harry, but he had to learn to not be so persistent. He and Severus spent weeks building up their relationship, and Harry did not want it to shatter into a million pieces again, so he bit his tongue as Severus continued, lowering his voice, " _Please_ , leave it at that. Now, I will be in my quarters. Alert me when the others arrive."

There was not another word spoken between them, as Harry felt the man brush quickly past him and slowly made his way upstairs, leaving Harry staring off into space, wondering why the man was so quick to avoid the subject. Perhaps Harry was desperate to know more about him, and sure, it was true that he may never fully understand, and he had to give the man some shred of privacy upon his secrets. However, every conversation with Severus that Harry had with him over the course of these last three months, further strengthened their newfound strange bond, and thus, Harry did not want to let that go. After all, Severus was the last living tie to his parents – in a sense, of course – and knew more about them, than he did. But Harry knew Severus was withholding parts of himself still that he was scared to confront. A guarded man, who struggled to be more open with those who genuinely wanted to help. He didn't blame the man, of course. Hell, Harry felt the same, as he, too, often guarded his own heart. Sometimes it was just easier that way, than explaining to someone why it crumbled in the first place.

Perhaps this was a lesson for the both of them – Each has admitted so much already, and yet the wounds were still raw and sensitive. This was a lesson for both to learn how to let go and reveal the sides to themselves that they were always afraid for others to see. Already Harry could see that with Severus, and that he wasn't always the vindictive, foul git that he originally grew to know. Everyone has a bad side to them, but they also have an incredibly good side whether they embrace it or not. It was just heartbreaking for Harry that Severus struggled to show his good side, and that he denied he had any at all, and so obvious as he always spoke of himself as the villain. That was a lie – Harry had seen goodness eventually within him, and he was sure not to be the only one who noticed. Even his friends had commented upon those subtle changes on several occasions, and they spent less time in Severus' company than he did.

Maybe Harry was desperate to hold onto one of the few rare individuals that truly understood him the most. It was funny how things turned out, as Harry never thought in his wildest dreams, that this was ever going to be possible. But as Severus was facing a tough few weeks upon the trial and decline of his health, Harry wanted to hold onto those good memories with him – those conversations they both shared since Harry had found him alone at the Shrieking Shack. Since then, both have developed an unforeseen camaraderie – A trust that neither expected to rely on and both worked hard to earn that from each other. A strange, odd friendship forged from past guilt and repentance, and acceptance for their mistakes and wrongdoings. Coming to terms with a broken past, in order to attempt to fix their once antagonistic relationship through the years. It was accepting all faults, remembering their acts of good, upon finally learning to forgive each other, if not themselves.

After all, hate was too hard of a burden to bear.


End file.
